Grieving the Loss of a Pet, Session 2: Pain & Guilt

How to heal from losing our best friend and soulmate. This course is dedicated to my Soulmate, Tink.
🐶🤍🌈
Grieving the loss of a pet can be heartbreaking. However, the pain can often be minimized and misunderstood by people not familiar with this type of love. In this course we’ll explore this unique bond, discuss the stages of grief as it pertains to a pet and learn how to heal and honor them. The goal, by the end of this course, is to be able to remember our beloved pet and smile without crying and feel the love without the pain.
This course is structured like a series of therapy sessions. You’ll need pen and paper for each session and you’ll be given “therapy homework” so that you can apply the information to your own grieving process.
Course Playlist:
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 1: pets versus people
In this session, will explore the very unique bond we have with our pets and the importance of properly grieving their loss.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 2: pain and guilt
In the session, we’ll talk about the stages of grief as it pertains to pets, and what we can do to ease our pain and guilt.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 3: depression
In the session, will discuss the stage of depression, how to process it, and how to get through it.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 4: anger and bargaining
In this session, we’ll talk about the stage of anger and bargaining, how it affects us, and how to get through it.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 5: reconstruction and healing
In the session, we’ll talk about the Reconstruction and Healing stage of grief, in the process of letting go.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 6: existential crisis
In the session, will explore the concept of an existential crisis and how it can help us let go.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 7: face it and feel it
In this session, we’ll discuss the importance of processing our emotions in order to release them.
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Session 8: honoring them
In this session, will learn how to honor our baby’s memory in a way that helps us rather than hurts us.
• Video
Session 9: spiritual healing
in the session, will talk about how to use spiritual tools to eight us in the healing process.
• Video
Session 10: crossing over
In the session, will talk about how we can help our baby’s cross over the Rainbow Bridge. 🌈
• Grieving the Loss of a...
Saying goodbye and honoring our loved one is essential for the grieving and healing process. For help saying goodbye:
• Grieving the Loss of a...
‪@freespiritcoaching‬
#deathofpet #grievinglossofpet

[@rachelr8837]

❤Sincere prayers going out right now to anyone dealing with this. Your pet knew they were loved🐾🌼💖

[@freespiritcoaching]

Thank you for your kindness and compassion 🩵🙏🏼

[@petronajoseph8090]

Thank you 💔

[@TheYazmanian]

I really hope he knew because when he was sick in the beginning I was very stressed out and I would lose my patience and after a day of tending to all of his needs I would want some space and all he wanted to do was sit with me and stare, I would tell him to go away and now the guilt is really hurting. After a few moments I would start to feel bad and I would usually come to him and see what it was that he wanted because I was worried that maybe he wanted another treat or something or needed to go out but once I checked all his needs and he didn't want anything except my presence I would sometimes feel bad towards the end and just let him hang out with me more but there was a little phase there where I would be quite stressed and burnt out and really needing space. So in November I took a 3 day trip to recharge so I could come back and be patient in loving and it definitely helped. I didn't realize I was experiencing caregiver burn out😢 In January I read "it's never long enough" by Dr Mary Gardner and That made me able to see things clearly and care for him a lot better. 2 months later on March 25th he really couldn't take it anymore and our vet and my husband thought it was time. I knew it was time as well and I didn't want to accept it and I wanted to hold on longer and let him get just a little bit sicker but that seemed very cruel. Everyone said it's not about me it's about him and to do the right thing for him. He had IBD and potentially some cancer in the stomach somewhere. We had to constantly switch around his foods because he would get sick of everything and just not want to eat it. Finally when he began to feel disgust over his most favorite food in the world, London broil, We knew it was not fair to let him suffer anymore. The day his suffering ended is when mine truly began.

[@wonderboy0822]

My condolences and deepest sympathy to everyone here. Just lost my beautiful little Lhasa Apso--Buddy--on 2.29.24. This pain is unbearable. I would rather lose my life now than be left in this world without him. 😢 He was hit by a car while under the care of a dog sitter. I still can't believe it. The what-ifs are starting to creep in, and it is horrible. I can't believe the depth of this grief and pain. It is awful, and unrelenting . . . from morning and all throughout the day--no escape. The house is so empty. Pictures of him only break my heart further. 💔 My only consolation is that I spoiled him as much as I could for 7 years. I try to tell myself that if the situation was reversed--if I had died, and he was the one left--I would want him to be happy and well. I hope there will be healing for everyone here. The stories are so heartbreaking. This is going to take a long time. This is like no other kind of pain. Those of us that love animals are in a special group. Others offer only glib comments and empty words--they don't know. They don't understand that it is harder than losing a person.

[@freespiritcoaching]

Oh how heartbreaking. I am so so very sorry for the loss of your baby, Buddy. This just breaks my heart and I cannot even imagine how you’re feeling. I am sending you so much Love, Light and Healing. ❤️‍🩹 🙏🏼

[@wonderboy0822]

@@freespiritcoaching Thank you. You are a kind soul. ❤

[@derektaylorj]

I lost my 1 year old girl Smokey on new years eve after a short battle with Tetanus. It's been killing me inside. I'm glad these videos exist to help navigate these special situations.

[@freespiritcoaching]

Oh, I’m so sorry! My heart goes out to you and your baby girl, Smokey 🙏🏼🤍

[@GILLY56ify]

I read this somewhere ... "You give them love throughout life and then provide peace at the end" ... whilst the loss is immeasurable and ever so painful the memories can be treasured forever to help you heal in your own time

[@freespiritcoaching]

Love this! 💖✨ Thank you 🙏🏼

[@darcybarwick6404]

This is so hard, I’m currently in another state with my dog , I have to put him to sleep, because he will not survive the flight back to my home state , he’s been having seizures at least twice a week sometimes as frequent as five a day . I feel as though I am abandoning him even though I know in my heart I know I’m doing the right thing.. we have had 11 beautiful years together, last 2 years have been difficult and this beautiful boy of mine has saved my life many times .. I’m crushed and my only hope is that we will be reunited when God returns... I love my dog so much ... I think the grief will kill me... they give us something no human being can and that is unconditional love

[@freespiritcoaching]

I feel for you in having to make this decision. It’s the hardest decision ever. Just make sure you’re doing right by your baby boy and remember why you made the decision. Sending prayers of clarity and strength 🙏🏼💜

[@TheYazmanian]

How are you doing now? Please update. There are many wonderful pet loss forums online that can be quite helpful to talk to other grieving pet parents. It has helped me a lot. I talk to people in the comment sections of videos like this too because most of the people in my real life don't understand the intensity of my grief and why it's lasting so long

[@shovelhead81]

I lost my two dogs this past year. My Lab passed like yours did. At the Vet ,after an emergency operation which was successful but he died of a blood clot. Our hearts were broken. I last hugged him and told him i loved him and i will be back to bring him home .It never happened. My other dog was waiting for him to come home. They were raised together since pups. My dog at home was a beautiful Great Dane as he broke my heart even more when i sat with him as he actually cried real tears. Its all because we never said goodbye. Your comment in your video has helped me more just now ,than all the many grieving videos ive watch because you said he might have suffered more if I stayed with him. Idk, but he never really woke up. Maybe he wanted to pass alone. Either way i felt a little better when you explained it. After that ,I promised my big boy that i will never have him pass at the vet. So the day came and i found a vet to come to my house. It was a bad tornado day in my state and i prayed to God for me to find a vet. The vet that came was a lady and my big boy passed on in the room we slept together in. I kept my promise to him and he passed on and i felt his transition go to the other side with my whole family sitting next to him. He loved us all for 10 of the greatest years i ever had when they were both here with us. Thankyou for your teaching of this issue. I since have rescued two smaller dogs that we love and they love each other. A dog or cat will never break your heart; Not until theirs stops beating. Its so true.Thanks again. I will listen to part two. 💔

[@freespiritcoaching]

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful babies with us 🩵 It’s such a Blessing to know that I’m helping others through my own grief. 🙏🏼 I wasn’t there for my 1st, as he passed alone at the vet. So I often prayed to be there for Tink when it was time for her to go back Home and I was granted that gift.

[@vickifrederick2934]

Lost my 3 yorkies 2 weeks ago( hemangiosarcoma!kidney disease and heart disease). I miss those babies so much

[@freespiritcoaching]

I’m so sorry for your 3 sweet souls 🤍 Loving prayers to all of you 🙏🏼

[@kayfitzgerald309]

I can't even imagine all 3!!!😢 So sorry 🧡💙🧡

[@420growers3]

We had a tragic accident today and lost our 6 year old Beau.😢 Thanks for taking the time to post this. It helps.❤

[@freespiritcoaching]

You’re so welcome. Much Love to you all and Beau 🤍

[@dancasselli9724]

I lost my Beagle Lily on 01/06/2024 and I thought it was just me that felt that this loss hurt more then any loved human ones I had and I had many, but Lily was with me and she was my life, my other half, we went through everything together in the 13 years i had her and she passed at the age of 14 and I have been in tears and devastated ever since. My sincere prayers and condolences to everyone here who has lost a beloved companion.

[@freespiritcoaching]

Sending Love, Prayers and condolences to you as well 🙏🏼🩷 Thank you for sharing Lily with us 🌈

[@dancasselli9724]

@@freespiritcoaching Your very welcome and thank you for sharing all your experiences .I just found you on KZbin and subscribed to you and look forward to more videos from you.

[@freespiritcoaching]

@dancasselli9724 Thank you 🙏🏼

[@user-by5ew8uk3i]

2 month for my loss.it hurts so bad

[@user-dp5wq4ic8j]

Thank you for these sessions. I am so grateful and have done every exercise. They took me a few hours and worth every minute. It's been 9 months since my Bebe was killed by the neighbors pit bulls that were loose. She lay dieing in my arms completely gutted. I sued and won my case. The pain has eased some and you have been a great help.

[@freespiritcoaching]

Oh how awful. I’m so very sorry. So glad the course has been helpful 🙏🏼 You are amazingly strong and I imagine Bebe is so proud of you. ❤️

[@w.d.4337]

I have been struggling and searching endlessly and thank you for your work! I am so indebted to you!

[@freespiritcoaching]

Creating this course helped me through my own grief so being able to help others with it is such a wonderful blessing 🙏🏼

[@bentleyhugh]

Yes this series has saved me from absolute despair

[@will4673]

I’m a mess right now…my 16 year old Min Pin AXEL died at the boarders this morning….I didn’t wanna leave him but my mom (88) was sick and I had to fly home to Louisiana from Buffalo, NY. I feel like it’s my fault cause he was so old, I should have driven here. I feel like he would still be here. He was my best friend…he was going blind, he had arthritis, he had allergies so bad he was losing his hair. I spent thousands on him for medicine and vets. I feel terrible because he died alone….I’m crying as I type this.

[@freespiritcoaching]

Oh I’m so very sorry! How heartbreaking. Please don’t blame yourself. Sounds like you were in an impossible situation. Axel knows how much you love him 🩵🙏🏼

[@wonderboy0822]

So sorry for your situation. Lost my beautiful boy less than a week ago (hit by a car). The pain is unbelievable. I hope there will be healing for all of us in this terrible grief. We are a special club.

[@vickifrederick2934]

Lap of Love is a service. That euthanizes at home. It was a loving service. My babies went from playing in the floor and taking treats from the vet to getting sleepy,being placed on the sofa w me and their heart stopping. I know they were not scared or hurting. Thank Joe Dr. Sallye

[@freespiritcoaching]

Although a difficult and surreal experience, also a wonderful Blessing 🙏🏼🤍

[@JB-et7zs]

I encourage everyone to call around and choose this kind of thing if they can. I lost my sweet elderly cat this past week and I was so grateful to find a local at home euthanasia service. She welcomed strangers but was terrified of the car and the vets office. She got to die lying on our bed and with my son and I caressing and kissing her. It was my one solace.

[@runner2008]

Thank you. Listening to this video helps. I am in the regret guilt stage. I put down my 16 year old cat yesterday and although i knew she probably had a year left with me, i am filled with regret that i had her put down too soon. Reason being she was still greeting me at the door, still lying on my lap, and still eating and drinking, although a little less. But she developed breathing problems about 7 weeks ago and her diaphragm was moving in and out heavily with a gurgling sound, she had no fluid in her lungs. But she had on and off labored breathing and the vet could not figure out why. But she did have a slightly enlarged heart. I could have taken her home on the vet visit day, but i risked the chance of her maybe getting worse and possibly going into heart failure. The rest is history and I am now feeling an immense amount of loneliness without her and hoping she is not up in heaven wondering why i ended her life. I am so sad. I love her so much and miss her terribly. Thank you for your video.

[@freespiritcoaching]

I understand the guilt completely. However, please don’t give in to it. Trust why you made the decision in the moment and please remember that our decision to euthanize is meant to save them from the pain so we often have to make the decision a little before it is actually needed. Trust in your love for her and that you did what was best in the moment. 🙏🏼💜

[@TheYazmanian]

It's bad enough that we miss them and long for them but on top of that the guilt that I feel it just makes it so unbearable. We put our 14-year-old German shepherd down and I'm devastated. Today is the 28th day. It feels like an eternity. I feel guilt that he was sick and suffering and I feel guilt for letting him go and for euthanizing him. Even though it's a part of reality I get very dark feelings about living in a world where death is inevitable and is coming for us all, even the innocent. I hope that as time goes on I can change my relationship with this inevitable truth of life and learn to see it for what it is, rather than seeing it as some evil, awful, horrible thing.

[@freespiritcoaching]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. 🩵🙏🏼 Sounds like you’re experiencing an existential crisis where you’re questioning the purpose of life. Session 6 of this course discusses this. This is common when we experience grief, and I encourage you to explore it. This devastation can also ignite a curiosity within us that can often lead to a spiritual breakthrough. I recommend using your pain to explore your feelings and emotions further. I went through this myself. I am so grateful for what I discovered on the other side of it. Sending you much Light and Love ✨💖 kzbin.info/www/bejne/gKDLfqecYtd8gskfeature=shared

[@TheYazmanian]

@@freespiritcoaching thank you for the kind words. I really am questioning my purpose now. I was his full time caregiver and I feel that everything has no meaning now. I plan on completing the entire course you have uploaded so graciously for free on here. Thank you

[@ellestuart5675]

I needed this

[@freespiritcoaching]

💜

[@susantaylor2937]

Thank you so much. My sweet dog had complications from hemangiosarcoma and I chose euthanasia after 2 months of chemo to ease his passing. It was hard, even though I had no choice. I still feel guilt and am plagued with so many “what ifs”. ❤❤❤ to everyone who posted here, your stories broke my heart. I am so sorry for your losses.

[@freespiritcoaching]

I know how heartbreaking this decision is please remember that it’s made out of pure love. Second-guessing ourselves and feeling guilty is normal but it’s important to forgive yourself. Please trust that you did right by him so that you can truly honor your love for each other. Sending you Light & Love 💫💖🙏🏼 And thank you for your kindness and compassion for all of our losses.

[@ivorybondoc8578]

I lost my 1.5 yo baby girl 2 days ago and I’m so much in deep sorrow and pain😢 I love her so much and I have so guilt or “what ifs”. She died on the vet clinic without me. But I realized that I also can’t bear the pain if I’m there at that time seeing her in so much suffering. I don’t know how to feel right and move on. I miss her badly and I feel so crazy thinking her. I don’t know how to ease this pain and guilt😔 I want to know if she’s ok right now, if she has forgiven me for my shortcomings even if I always say to her when she’s here that I love her so much, that she’s beautiful and show my love and care. I can’t accept that I can’t hug her now, say her I love her and that she’s beautiful.😢😢😢

[@freespiritcoaching]

She is good 🤍 We’re the ones who suffer without them. I truly believe that when we’re meant to be with them when they pass we would be. If not, it wasn’t meant to be. You and your baby girl are forever connected beyond this lifetime. 🙏🏼

[@ivorybondoc8578]

Thank you for your kind words. I feel devastated. The pain inside is terrible. I really miss my baby 😢

[@freespiritcoaching]

Unfortunately, we all know the feeling and you can come here anytime for support, as we are all here to help each other through this 💜

[@Jungaloowi333]

I'm going through the same thing after losing my 3 year old pug Chocnut 3 days ago. I'm completely devastated. I was in denial for a long time that he was truly sick. I didn't think there would be the possibility of him dying. He'd been losing weight the past two weeks before he died and it was too late when he was taken to the vet. Only because I thought he was just being a picky eater. He would only eat when he was hungry. He'd been acting strange, hiding and lying in unusual positions days before he died and I ignored the signs. I didn't know that he'd developed an infection in the mouth which was causing him so much pain. I'm a cruel, negligent attendant to the dog who gave me so much joy and laughter and showed me love when I felt unlovable. I will do anything. Anything to have a second chance with him and I will do it right. I failed to protect and save him. I left him to the care of a relative to go on a trip when he wasn't well. He died a few hours before my flight back to him. He died confined in a vet clinic with nobody he knew. I wish I'd asked my relative to bring him one of my clothes so he would smell me and think I was there with him. I wasn't there to comfort him in his last moments. I didn't deserve him. I don't deserve the love of any animal anymore. I'm so, so sorry Chocnut. You entrusted your life into my hands and I let you down. You'd been strong for too long and I wasn't able to help you. I want to die because of it. I'm so so sorry.

[@tomrichards7202]

Thank you for a beautiful lesson.

[@freespiritcoaching]

You're very welcome. Thank you! 🩵

[@CharliesDaughter]

I am so traumatized by not only how callous the vet was today who announced she needed to euthanize my sweet sweet beloved boy cocker spaniel, whom I'd brought in after he suffered some alarming respiratory distress attacks over the weekend and I knew he needed to be checked out.He was apparently doing just fine in every sense of the word yesterday and today -- until I took him to the vet for said check up -- and the hot car ride caused another respiratory fit. I felt like if I had not taken him, especially in the heat, he wouldn't have had to attack, and then the vet wouldn't have said immediately, 'We have to euthanize him, he is struggling too much." Granted, it also came back that he had developed lung cancer as well as having another tumor, and there was no cure or treatment possible, but I needed time to process this I feel, to maybe take him home at least and think about it and be ready for the euthanasia. Instead, I was in such shock, and he was on oxygen in their ICU, and she kept saying 'well, he could die tonight if you take him home again..." So I agreed. It was so horrible -- there was no compassion, the vet was talking to other clients and staff, in a large open area while killing my baby, while her child watched and asked things like 'is he dead yet?; "why are his eyes weird' -- all like I wasn't even there. There wasn't even kleenex, I had to cry and blow my nose on my SHIRT --- not one person even said they were sorry, it was like being in hell and a surreal nightmare. I have SO MUCH guilt for letting this happen, for not advocating for my dog or for ME, to at least have a fully agreed upon and compassionate end for the great love of my life who so trusted me and so sweetly went happily with me to the vet, neither one of us expecting he would be put down so callously. I cannot forgive myself or stop crying

[@freespiritcoaching]

Wow I can't believe the vet told you that! Usually they educate us about their medical situation and offer advice but they shouldn't make that decision for us. I'm so sorry that happened! Even if she was right that's an awful situation to be in. Sending you prayers of Healing & Love ❤️‍🩹 ❤️

[@CharliesDaughter]

@@freespiritcoaching Thank you so, so much, and also for the heartbreakingly beautiful "good bye prayer" you wrote for your own beloved cocker spaniel, which you shared with us. It was so helpul and personally meaningful, along with the whole video -- a godsend. Deep sympathy for YOUR loss but so grateful for your accompanying fellow mourners through this difficult journey 💔❤‍🩹❤

[@l.uplencnerova6017]

..when you have to euthanise him as he has only few ugly hours of life ( acute kidney failure, got rapidly worse in a few days after dental surgery), and he's still showing zest for life and the will to fight to get better - despite all the pain and his little body is shutting down💔

[@freespiritcoaching]

I’m so sorry. This is when we have to be strong for them. It’s the hardest decision will ever make. Sending love and prayers to you both 🤍🙏🏼

[@vickifrederick2934]

God Bless you and your baby

[@oblongfan1]

Mine had end stage kidney failure. We didn’t catch it till it was too late as they don’t show symptoms. Had to send my cat of 10 years to heaven. We used in hime euthanasia. I miss him so much. I feel dead inside and guilt I didn’t do enough for him

[@tisa888]

Omg but I cannot forgive myself...

[@freespiritcoaching]

You must ❤️ Sending you Love, Compassion, Patience & Trust for yourself 🙏🏼

[@tisa888]

@@freespiritcoaching Thank you ❤️

[@TheYazmanian]

I'm feeling a lot of resistance around writing a forgiveness letter to myself. Any insight you might be able to offer will be helpful.

[@freespiritcoaching]

This is a process and it takes time. Do each step when you’re ready. We can certainly give ourselves a push, but we can’t force it. You may even have to go back through some of these steps again as the experience will be different and more effective each time. The most important thing right now is to show yourself love and compassion in honor of your baby, as I’m sure that’s what he showed you and would want for you. Keep the idea of forgiveness in the back of your mind and in your heart. Put your hand on your heart and repeat the phrase, “I forgive you.“ Do this several times a day and whenever you need to hear it until you actually believe the words you’re saying and then feel what these words mean. Write the letter as best you can and write it again. Keep writing the letter until you believe it. 💜

[@TheYazmanian]

@@freespiritcoaching thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I will try the heart practice. I did it just now and almost cried but I do feel a sense of relief to not add to my own suffering. I know I'll be able to write the letter soon when I am ready. I'm almost there💛

[@Pork-lk2dn]

I made a huge mistake yesterday. I euthanized my best boy mister nubs yesterday. He was 15. He had arthritis, a heart murmur, dental decay (with terrible breath) and dementia that was at the final stage. I rescued him when he was already 11 so i knew i wouldn't have long with him. His owners were going to put him down because they knew he was having early stage dementia and i have never gotten an old dog and thought i never would but i couldn't see him get put down. He was a beautiful salt and pepper miniature schnauzer. I also didn't plan on bonding with him like we did and falling in love. We had a solid 2 years together before his mental health dropped and he lost 10 lbs and went from 22 lbs to 10 lbs in less than a year even tho he ate two meals a day and treats. He had incontinence but when i would take him outside he would use it. He wasn't in pain. He was still aware half the time and would take the treats out my hand. I had to start him on gabapentin last summer when everything went bad too try to get him to sleep at night instead of getting up and walking in circles until he fell down it of exhaustion. He would tremble and bump in to things. Then i had to double his dose last Friday and that's when i realized it was time for him to go. We put him down at home. He went really peacefully on his couch that he loved to lay on with my while i played Xbox. He actually seemed ready to go like he was relieved but i feel like i made a terrible mistake since he was still eating and wasn't showing any signs of pain. I carried him around everywhere so that he didn't have to walk since he had hard time doing it and would be even worse because his medicine. So I had him on a good schedule and he was receiving the best care he could get and i know he could have lived another year or maybe then 2. IDK why i put him down and I just feel like i made the wrong choice. I miss him so terribly and he made such an impact on me with only 2 years of being "normal". IDK even know why i took him for the vet and spent money and argued with the vet about not putting him down and upping his dose of meds to just put him down 6 days later. Yesterday at 330 February 15 2024. I got him in may 2019 when he was 11. I can't function without him and pulled into my driveway today after a long day at work and I'm usually excited because i get to go inside and see my boys but i immediately got depressed and knew he wasn't going to be there. I don't think i will ever recover from this. Rest easy Mister Nubs. Please show me a sign you're ok.

[@freespiritcoaching]

🌈

[@user-by5ew8uk3i]

I feel the same way,..months before my boy had a seizure he bleed and it was horrible.i took him to vet she said he was ok.he had a heart murmur so she put him on meds.i rescued him long story.anyway Months later I was getting ready for 9:41 work and he pukup 2 large piles of blood started seizure and he was all over.i finally after it was over picked him up.he couldn'tmove his legs.took h to vet,she given him a shot so he couldn't have another seizure.his legs would keep going like he was running g.she said it was seizure trying to come back.took him home.he didn't move just layed.cried when he peed on self.i had pads and washed him off with baby wipes.i had to syringe him water and food.2 weeks nothing changed.vet said she thought he had a brain tumor.he was old ..no one knew how old tho.i did all I could.vet kept saying put h down One day I decided it wasn't fair he layed And nothing else.so I took h in Worst part she went to put h to sleep and he screamed showed his teeth set up and I didn't stop her! Why? He would had woke up But I went on and put him down Why? He trusted and loved me? K should had never done that! I cry and cry and cry.i have his ashes and picture and I'm broken!!