Correction: I am hosting the call-in show on the 8th, not the 15th! So if you'd like to share your feelings on this subject, tune into my channel at 6PM PST June 8th!
@bobbylee_2 жыл бұрын
I love the pictures/art in frames. Especially the Susie and the Banshees one!!
@MrDarrensvideos2 жыл бұрын
Kat. The reading materials have been exposed. Its grooming.
@jackgenre112 жыл бұрын
Has anyone actually read it you could just as easily call it a don't say straight bill. The issue of the bill was the fact that teachers and councilers were doing things behi'd parents backs.
@DillyDallyLove Жыл бұрын
I love you 💕 I am glad you are one of the first people I ran into in BlueTube! 💕 Your awesome! Keep fighting for everyone to be accepted! ✊
@spaRKLES886042 жыл бұрын
I can only speak on the gay male experience: Would you rather have him go to a trusted adult man who is LGBTQ or go online and find predators who want him for his body, I have heard far to many stories from other guys I know who had this happen to him they had relations with much older men when they were 15-16 under the guise he was a friend.
@seauouiaiouieaux5462 жыл бұрын
I'm a gay man that was groomed around the age of 14/15. And in hindsight, this is exactly why it happened. I grew up in a fairly accepting area and my family are good with it but realistically, when you spend every day as the only out kid (or if you're closeted, you feel like the only one) in an environment that realistically pretends like a core part of your identity doesn't exist even if it isn't overtly hostile. We had a similar bill in the UK called Section 28 which, although was long abolished by the time I was in school, it had such a lasting impact in schools even now. I know so many gay men who've had a very similar experience. I think we all know it happens but I dont know if we all understand how bloody common it is. And it happens in places even without bills like this. I frankly don't understand how someone can use grooming as a valid excuse to push something that seems specifically designed to make grooming significantly easier
@halifaxx552 жыл бұрын
@@muffaloaf You don't have a choice, they're going to do it, there are things cisgender heterosexual parents WILL NEVER understand about our experience and wont' be able to teach their children.
@Ladyladieladee2 жыл бұрын
@@muffaloaf I don't think he means "Go to" in a romantic or sexual sense.
@Sophia-vk5bq2 жыл бұрын
That’s so scary, I’m glad you fall victim to that and I hope you’re in a good place in life now. 🙂
@thekalenichannel18122 жыл бұрын
@@muffaloaf it’s not being groomed to be told that gay people exist and are ok. There are kids who are gay, I know because I was one of them. They should know that there’s nothing wrong with them and be able to see others like them.
@Social_Pugatory2 жыл бұрын
“I felt more at home with the man that was abusing me than in the actual house I lived in.” I had to pause the video and go for a walk because that part hit me so hard. You summed up the headspace I was in just a couple years ago, with that one sentence. That was my college experience being in my first queer relationship and living with an abusive partner because “at least I get to be myself with them” at home is abusive and suppressive as well but at least here I can be me. “I felt so much better being abused than being at home” That is one part of the cycle of abuse we don’t address as much as we need to. Some people find themselves in abusive situations because they feel their home/family situations are worse than the abuse.
@felix52872 жыл бұрын
This is actually such a real experience for so many of us. Not being able to talk about something doesn't make it go away.
@LexYeen2 жыл бұрын
This is also a thing some abusers take advantage of to find victims.
@erinniccoinn1gh2 жыл бұрын
sending love to you and anyone else who's gone through this. as a mother, it breaks my heart that anyone would make their child feel this isolated for simply being themselves. it's scary when you realise how frequently it happens.
@danic25142 жыл бұрын
I fully believe this is why a lot of bisexual women end up in abusive relationship too.Bi women like myself are often isolated from their peers while still dating het men. I remember in one of my relationships I also justified it because I thought no one else would accept me. Especially since my parents reacted badly when I came out
@uwucummies24832 жыл бұрын
It's sad cause i knew this
@ceciliabecicka73792 жыл бұрын
In terms of trying to prevent grooming it is generally understood that best practice is to actually talk to kids (in a safe, informative, but not sexual way) about what sex is, what various body parts are, etc. Not allowing young kids to be informed about sex or their bodies in a safe environment makes them more vulnerable to abuse because they cannot communicate or recognize what is being done to them as easily. I grew up Catholic, so sex in general was a taboo topic- not just issues related to the LGBTQIA+ community. I'm ace, so my experience of this was really bizarre, but for many of the people I grew up with, straight or gay, it led to shame regarding their libido and sexuality. At worst, the lack of discussion with children about sex, sexuality, and gender discussed in a safe way became yet another factor that allowed for the child abuse within the Church to occur.
@uncannedspaghetti2 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!
@austincde2 жыл бұрын
Yes that's what I learned too! Not to make body part names taboo or give them nicknames because it can allow predators to muddle the waters & make it deniable
@solarmoth46282 жыл бұрын
Yes! It gives them better understanding of what’s happening and makes it clear what they need to tell an adult. Not discussing it all leads to way worse situations.
@austincde2 жыл бұрын
@@muffaloaf my 3rd grade teacher had to warn us about a "flasher" in the nearby park, we wanted to know what that was & why was it bad, it didn't traumatize us to learn
@JJBlitz6262 жыл бұрын
@muffalo In MD, they stopped teaching chuldren how to read and write cursive in schools, leading to a wide swath of parents who can't understand why it's not taught, but haven't made any effort to teach their kids at least their own signature. So, I'm none too confident with the parents ability or willingness to cover this topic either
@Trailtracker2 жыл бұрын
When people talk about these laws it feels like people don’t realize how much time kids (and also teachers) spend at school, it can be more than half of someone’s day
@EightyFourThousands84000s2 жыл бұрын
In one of my college math classes, I remember we had to calculate how much time is spent in k-12 if we were to start the timer exactly when we got to school and stopped it exactly when we left. I can't remember which math concept was trying to be illustrated with this, but the answer (assuming a kid did the bare minimum and attended school) was like 2ish years, I think. If I wasn't lazy I'd do the math but I'm lazy and also forgot how to do it lol. Anyone wanna take a stab at it or know how to calculate it?
@diaabnasir4712 жыл бұрын
@@EightyFourThousands84000s yeah it’s about 780 days or a little over two years.
@rosedalinevaletine69312 жыл бұрын
I spend roughly ten hours at school almost everyday. 😭
@markr.44452 жыл бұрын
One of the worst things about the bill is that right after it says it prohibits discussion of sexuality in k-3 grades, it then explicitly says “or in a manner that is not age or developmentally appropriate”. This way conservatives can gaslight people by saying that they only want to protect 5 and 7 year olds, but still legally allow discrimination in ANY grade level, while making queer people seem hysterical for opposing the bill. It’s going to be so isolating and oppressive for every grade level student because school staff is constantly going to be under threat of legal action. Here in Texas, it’s also slowly having a chilling effect in workplaces now because of laws like this in schools, and the fact that worker protections are so incredibly weak.
@LexYeen2 жыл бұрын
@Ajit Adonis Manilal I do. I grew up without the language to describe myself as a pan nonbinary disaster, since I was born into an emotionally and psychologically abusive home in 1985, and the loneliness I felt in those days made me contemplate very permanent solutions to what turned out to be a temporary problem. Your experience is yours, and it rhymes with mine and _so_ many others. I'm so sorry you had to live through it too. 💙
@miscalotastuff7332 жыл бұрын
My problem was the opposite. I had zero sexual desire for either gender. I liked the boys but had zero desire for sex, and zero sexual thoughts. I never talked about it due to not wanting to be austracized. I was also a mormen so this would not have gone over well. I also had already decided to not have kids. Neither would have been acceptable.
@miscalotastuff7332 жыл бұрын
@Ajit Adonis Manilal no kid should have to grow up like that. However cults are a thing and the shame would have affected the entire family. It isnt fun.
@fenrisvermundr25162 жыл бұрын
In the subject of education. Age Appropriate means explaining it in a way they can understand at that age.
@zeenuf00 Жыл бұрын
Stop indoctrinating children with radical queer ideology.
@mirithilrose542 жыл бұрын
I think this is really dangerous because the quiet part of the message is that grooming is not done by heterosexuals. That's how it comes across to me at least. But grooming has nothing to do with sexuality or identity. It's about people who are abusive. Also in my country we get sex-ed at a very young age. And I think that the name may suggest for some people that sexual acts get discussed. But that is absolutely not the case. It's more about where babies come from. And a very important part is that children get told that if someone touches them or talks to them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, they should find an adult they can trust and tell them what happened. So they're teaching children how to set boundries.
@Butterflier002 жыл бұрын
@@BabyMaharaja0 um....citation needed for small children at drag shows....
@solarmoth46282 жыл бұрын
@@Butterflier00 There are kid appropriate drag events where they read books or ones tailored specifically for families. An event or space that’s serving alcohol are usually a 21+ space so i’m not sure what they’re talking about. Unless maybe it’s like a family friendly drag brunch, maybe if it’s a restaurant the parents will drink a mimosa or something?
@Angelcatlatteyt2 жыл бұрын
@@BabyMaharaja0 that sounds potentially dangerous obviously, but a lot of the people who use that as evidence to call lgbt people groomers are the same type who push their daughters into child pageants. The problem is more a general one of child exploitation and that's all over society
@KatBlaque2 жыл бұрын
Not all drag is done in the context of a bar or.is.adult in nature
@xenae15332 жыл бұрын
@@BabyMaharaja0 thank you for your homophobia!
@C-SD2 жыл бұрын
As someone that was groomed as a child (by cishet males mostly) it infuriates me when people make up stuff like this. It gives real groomers more lee-way, too, because no one is looking for actual grooming. I just can't understand why people care whom others have sex with. If it doesn't affect you, and everyone can legally consent, why do you care? Might start using "some shade of queer", never heard that before.
@marocat47492 жыл бұрын
Dunno soome people signing it are probably shades of groomer or in support of ones. Really big religion are probably having the most abue covered up. Yeah what a grat source to adress abuse, megachurches that have problms with it. I dont think its to seriously fight grooming, but just to demonize lgbt+
@grannyklampit17102 жыл бұрын
Ironically, most people don't care and are tired of hearing about it. They just don't want people indoctrinating or influencing their children. Lgbtq activism got the attention it was looking for, so if you have a complaint, start there and with the thousands of bizarre, unhelpful videos being posted daily by lgbtq people on social media.
@breakingmadeline30632 жыл бұрын
Textbook Republicans: ARRRR PRONOWNS BE HARRRD Kat: creates easy to remember inclusionary language that we now (or use to) have the ability to invent or piece together.
@jackgenre112 жыл бұрын
Sorry for what you went through what she is saying about the bill is not what the bill is actually about. I recommend you read it for yourself. Plus as your z survivor you may want to check out the group gays against groomers it maybe something that will help you channel.the pain as well as give you a chance to be the protector for other children you needed
@zeenuf00 Жыл бұрын
We don't want children indoctrinated with radical gender ideology. That's all. You people pushed things too far and now this is the pushback. You will not get everything you want. Deal with it and self-reflect.
@slimjimshady02 жыл бұрын
It’s not and never has been about protecting kids. It’s just a revamp of morality/sodomy laws.
@uncannedspaghetti2 жыл бұрын
1000%. A lot of the same people promoting this bill are also pushing to lower the age of consent/marriage in some states, absolutely vile.
@mammoneymelon2 жыл бұрын
@@uncannedspaghetti they only "care" about "protecting kids" when it's an excuse to oppress minorities
@happyxdragon12152 жыл бұрын
@@uncannedspaghetti yikes!!!
@Hauptseite2 жыл бұрын
@@uncannedspaghetti Can you give me some examples of these folks? I need to know who these people are so I can point them out next time I'm in a debate with someone about these issues. The classic, "If they really care so much, why are they alright with lowering the age of consent to 14?" type situation.
@shroomshroom59452 жыл бұрын
@@Hauptseite I do not know exact names because I'm not incredibly political (it messes me up mentally), but I do know those people are most definitely republicans. If you look for it enough, you should find those specific politicians.
@FrozEnbyWolf1502 жыл бұрын
This point can't be stressed enough. The Florida bill is likely to increase grooming, and LGBTQIA+ youth are exceptionally vulnerable because they're taught to feel ashamed of their identities and their own bodies. When an adult predator is looking for easy prey, it's much easier to manipulate a child into silence if that child is already ashamed, afraid to speak up, has nobody else to trust, and doesn't want to be outed. Given the track record of Republicans, part of me suspects that this was the entire point of the bill. Hundreds of conservative politicians have been credibly accused of predatory behavior, including towards minors. Republicans last year in Florida passed an anti-trans bill that would allow them to inspect children's parts before allowing them to play school sports. Republicans and the Religious Right ignore the abuse scandal that's been going on in their own churches for years. Republicans in Tennessee even recently tried to legalize child marriage. Every accusation from them is a projection.
@kittykittybangbang93672 жыл бұрын
Man it seems Republicans are trying to turn America into the the Taliban. Remember Iran from the 1960s to today, and that was after the Islamic revolution.
@Rainjojo2 жыл бұрын
You called them out when they thought no one from an already oppressed group being generalized would remind them👀
@millsykooksy48632 жыл бұрын
So true
@betzaidaflores24772 жыл бұрын
Did anybody actually read the bill? You just can't talk about anything sexual as an adult to grade levels k-9. It does not prohibit children from knowing the gender of your spouse. If they're curious just tell them to ask their parents. People are constantly spreading disinformation about the bill without doing proper research and feeding into the fear mongering. I get school is a place where kids can be social but they're primarily there to learn. The main reason my sister won't move back here is because the schools are piss poor in academics, and as someone who's grown up in FL, we have bigger things to worry about then a 6 year understanding gender identity.
@FrozEnbyWolf1502 жыл бұрын
@@betzaidaflores2477 Did you actually listen to what the Republican cosponsors of the bill said in terms of their intentions? Have you actually paid attention to how the bill has been used since its passing? It was designed specifically to target the LGBTQ+ community, but had to be worded in vague and general terms to avoid being unconstitutional. Now that the bill has passed, it is indeed being used to single out LGBTQ+ teachers and students, with school officials warning teachers not to wear pride merchandise, and to remove pictures of their same sex spouses from their desks. You like all the defenders of this bill are pathological liars and bigots.
@snowpocalypse692 жыл бұрын
At 4:00 you say you don't believe it's right to discuss sex with young children. I see where you're coming from, but I've seen the argument that telling children about sex helps prevent them from being abused because they can identify what's happening if an adult tries to do something inappropriate with them, when most people who assault small children specifically take advantage of the fact that the kid has no idea what's going on or that it's wrong.
@nobody83282 жыл бұрын
Disclaimer: I do not condone any sort of child or s*xu*l ab*se, period. I do not have children, do not like children, and don't even want them within earshot. And yes, today's world is much, MUCH different than it was 100 yrs ago. Now, on with the story... Two of my grandparents (born early 1900 in Appalachia) grew up in one room log cabins with outhouses. One room. Not one bedroom, one living room, one kitchen... no. Hand-built square cabins that were so small they wouldn't even be considered a walk-in closet by today's standards. No windows, mud brick chimneys, 1/2 a mile to the spring pond, etc. Everyone slept on the floor. When it was cold, everyone shared the blanket and snuggled up. Infants, teens, parents and the occasional visiting family member. They weren't any poorer than anyone else in the area, that's just the way things were before the TVA. 2 parents with 13 kids all in the same room. The parents kept making babies like parents do, and no one thought twice about it. The cows do it, the chickens do it, the adults do it. 🤷🏻
@marocat47492 жыл бұрын
She didnt mention latr she isnt naive enough that this is what the bill actually does. And its, yeah actually talking about consent, hormos and crushes and that isnt actually about sex.
@highnoble79842 жыл бұрын
Facts
@LCTmusic6832 жыл бұрын
The counter argument from the right i have heard is that it is best to leave those conversations to parents.
@snowpocalypse692 жыл бұрын
@@LCTmusic683 that's the argument that gives parents the greatest ability to get away with abusing their own children, or shame and silence their children when they get abused by other family members.
@emilyonizuka46982 жыл бұрын
seriously though! my mum works at my old middle school and she was saying how this one straight male teacher got married to a woman, and the school board sent him this nice gift basket as a congratulations. they did not do this for a gay male teacher who married a man around the same time. like okay we see how it is. (I live in Canada btw.)
@buntyjoy18002 жыл бұрын
When a child asks a question you answer to the best of your ability. Keeping children uneducated and naive makes them more vulnerable to true groomers.
@zeenuf00 Жыл бұрын
Stop indoctrinating children with radical queer ideology.
@jackainsley43652 жыл бұрын
I am a queer teacher. Kids ask me about my personal life. They want to know the adults around them are people. No, they don't have to know everything, but they're curious! If I can't tell them anything about myself, how am I supposed to develop a positive relationship with them over time? (Sidenote: I attended two weddings of my teachers as a child. But nobody's calling that exposure to a heterosexual paradigm grooming.)
@Butterflier002 жыл бұрын
in 8th grade...at my private school the first day of class...a teacher just unprompted told us that she was going to be trying for a baby this year.... i was like..okay....can you start teaching us math....
@joeytaylor01082 жыл бұрын
@@Butterflier00 I remember in second grade when all the class vote what gender of the teacher baby will be and did a gender reveal party for my teacher. Like we're like 7 years old but nobody complains about that
@kannot12 жыл бұрын
No student cares about their teachers personal life, I used to think "ew is that my teacher existing outside school?" 😫 we only wanted to know personal details when we didn't want to learn math that day😂
@paulomilan5152 жыл бұрын
@@kannot1 I don't think you can speak for all students your opinion is valid only to you speak for yourself.
@Novjuly2 жыл бұрын
@@kannot1 I'm also a queer teacher. Kids ask me about my life all the time! Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have kids? Do you have pets? How old is your brother? Does he play sports? They all think I'm a lonely cat lady.😆 oh or in a secret relationship with the male theater teacher. Even though all of my coworkers know i have a female partner, i enjoy having a salary too much to tell the kids (middle schoolers). Other teachers have been fired in my state simply for saying they have a same-sex partner.
@AscheDjidoi2 жыл бұрын
I think it is important for kids to hear about sex from someone. It's not a job for just anybody, sure. But it's important for the subject to come up, because this is how a lot of kids come to realize they've been sexually abused.
@LexYeen2 жыл бұрын
Yup. This is what clinical descriptions are for, IMO: making the information available and teachable without sexualizing it in any way.
@Butterflier002 жыл бұрын
also when stuff about "sex ed" was being introduced to ages k-3rd it's just biology...like the bio terms for your body parts and that people should not touch you there....
@marocat47492 жыл бұрын
And its better not from p0rn or shady people.
@kittykittybangbang93672 жыл бұрын
@@Butterflier00 That reminds me, apparently in the Netherlands s3d ed begins when they're in kindergarten. As a result, the Netherlands has a lower rate of STDs and teenage pregnancy.
@kittykittybangbang93672 жыл бұрын
@@marocat4749 "Learning s3x from pr0n is like learning how to drive from the Fast and Furious movies" - a random KZbin comment
@cutietae2472 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing the hard topics . I appreciate your transparency and the vocalization about sexual exploitation of one’s self and how it is often rooted in habitual abuse
@Jordan-pf9ws2 жыл бұрын
You have opened my eyes to the process of grooming and the risk factors. It was not on my radar as a parent. I have two young daughters and I now have purposeful conversations with them and make sure to reaffirm my love and support of who they are as people not just because they're my child. Thank you.
@shroomshroom59452 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you are doing this now. It is so important!
@moustik312 жыл бұрын
I'm older and I remember the 1990s and early 2000s, where parents had no compunction, kicking their LGBTQIA+ teens out of their home. When I listened to these stories, I always wondered, about what these parents think their now homeless LGBTQIA+ minors do to survive? It's like throwing your own child to the lions' den with no angel to protect them. So cruel. 💔 Bigotry does put the "children" in more danger, than they were without active bigotry.
@grannyklampit17102 жыл бұрын
It sounds like you're oversimplifying. I can guarantee not all of them get kicked out for simply being gay. There's a lot of mental and emotional drama and disobedience that precedes making that type of decision. Your have to think from a parents perspective, it was the last straw. Nevermind the fact that kids also run away because they don't want to be subject to house rules, feel misunderstood, hate their parents, etc. Never forget there's two sides to every story. Nobody ever asks the parents of gay kids what really happened. Nor does anyone ever ask children raised by gay parents what life was like for them. You have nothing but bias until you balance that with the perspectives of others involved.
@feykingjulian2 жыл бұрын
@@grannyklampit1710 there is never an excuse for abandoning a child. you are insane.
@grannyklampit17102 жыл бұрын
@@feykingjulian where did I say anything about abandoning? I think most of these kids who were "kicked out" actually ran away. Most parents do everything they can for their kids and sometimes there's a child where nothing is enough and they aren't going to follow rules or listen if you paid them. All they do is create havoc in the house and family. If they want to run away because they feel "misunderstood" and end up in a situation where a "friend" turns out to be a pimp, and they *choose* to stay in that situation over going home, what is the parent supposed to do? I'm sick of these one sided victims narratives. We need to hear from the parents who've had to deal with this. So far, I only know of one who's been open and had the chance to see first hand how nasty and hateful her son is to her because she chooses truth over his embarrassing nonsense. He's lucky he has her as a mother because I wouldn't tolerate it.
@hibari40792 жыл бұрын
@@grannyklampit1710 parents are supposed to be parents. Are you crazy? You are saying its the fault of the child?!?!! Are you nuts? If there is a problem with a child, its because of their surroundings. If they feel as if they aren't being understood, its because of their surroundings and parents. You forget that a lot of parents are homophobic and that is the reason why a lot of lgbtqia+ children end up offing themselves before 18. Yet there are people like you who want to demonize them and act like they are the ones in the wrong. If a child isn't listening, its because there is an issue that you need to help them fix. You cannot pretend that a child is fully capable of understanding their each and every action especially if it is due to traumatic experiences. These children need compassion, not your steel toed boot.
@starrr3652 жыл бұрын
A much-needed aspect of this topic I haven't seen anybody else discussing!
@Angi3_62 жыл бұрын
During the time I was part of the age group, the bill targets, The Berenstain Bears was one of my favorite books! The characters names are: Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister Bear. All of those names are gendered terms/roles, and shows a heterosexual relationship, which means this book series touches on gender and sexuality. Now because of this bill, kids won’t be able to read this series. I can’t imagine my childhood without The Berenstain Bears. Similar thing with Franklin the Turtle. Also, I knew I liked multiple genders since Kindergarten. All my classmates were able to talk freely of their opposite sex crushes. No sane adult wants to talk to children (especially children not theirs) about sex and gender to the extent those who support the bill claim.
@dolphinswilltakeover2 жыл бұрын
This is so true esp, the last paragraph, ik I liked the same sex since I was in pre k or kindergarten (idk it was one of those grades I just know I was around toddler age), my crushes were never sexual, they were always innocent.
@Alina_Schmidt2 жыл бұрын
The Berenstain Bears are very likely not in trouble at all. The bill says it should protect children from sexuality, but in fact it only means visible queerness. Such bills are framed in a „protect children“ way only for strategic reasons and because queerphobic people don‘t say they are queerphobic.
@Butterflier002 жыл бұрын
oh you know that the bill isn't gonna remove that book...but some petty teachers might.....
@M_M_ODonnell2 жыл бұрын
@@BabyMaharaja0 They mention sexual orientation (in the form of heterosexuality). The law as written bans them from being taught at all through grade 3, and only mentioned in a deliberately-vague "age-appropriate" way after that. No, the books *won't* be banned, but an otherwise-similar book in which a character had two fathers or two mothers *absolutely* will be.
@C-SD2 жыл бұрын
Same I was very confused to learn that many people preferred dating only one specific gender. I just assumed everyone was pansexual. (Though the word wasn't used then)
@hylierosabelle2 жыл бұрын
"Aren't we all groomed by cis-hetero ideals" that was literally chef's kiss.
@moustik312 жыл бұрын
I know, I was. Until I didnt think, they was no other possibility, which made it seems like a viable future as a happy and accepted adult wasnt possible. Exactly, like Kate said. I knew, early on there would be no space for the real me in my church and family.
@hsuhorn2 жыл бұрын
@@Raya-ir4tm nah kids should learn about more than just straight ppl
@moustik312 жыл бұрын
@@Raya-ir4tm Being straight isnt "natural". If it was "natural", society and parents wouldnt need to drill it with so much violence into their kids.
@hylierosabelle2 жыл бұрын
@@hsuhorn you tell'em !! Majority of straight people think they're the norm and standard for society that anybody or anyone who are not straight are othered or treated as outliers so that they could avoid losing their grip on having the title of what is 'normal'.
@littlefoxglove2762 жыл бұрын
lmao i knew there'd be at least one " no bc this is what's Natural and Good" response under here. barf. people would sooner see children be abused than be gay, and it chills me to the fuckin bone every time i learn this over
@konstanseaasen5812 жыл бұрын
A friend of mine is studying to be a teacher, and I recently found out that (here in Norway) we have a «rule» that actually lines up with something you discussed early in the video! :D It’s pretty simple: When you are teaching about relationships/ sex ed, you’re not allowed to use yourself as an example. You can talk about gay relationships for example, but you can’t go too into detail about YOUR relationship (wether that’s gay, straight, etc) I honestly think that works really well :)) (Just to clarify: it’s not illegal to be an openly gay teacher or anything! You’re just not supposed to talk about your relationship in detail)
@furrymemelady6222 жыл бұрын
I was groomed online at 16 by someone who lied about their age(among a bunch of other things), and was in fact 28. I was someone looking for validation and love after feeling like I was ugly and unlovable for being a Trans girl, like, I thought nobody would want to be with me, so people online suddenly giving me that type of attention was what I thought I needed at that point in my life. I can't even think about the person who did that to me, because it causes me so much distress. I was not able to date for 6 months afterwards, and still have trust issues. the fact that adults saw my body when I was still a child still hurts. And I felt a lot of Shame and blamed myself for being "tricked". So all this talk about "Grooming" is bullshit, because a lot of the people who support bills like these fundamentally believe that it is impossible for a Transgender Person, especially a Trans woman, to be the victim of abuse instead of the perpetrator.
@grannyklampit17102 жыл бұрын
That's not true, at all. The more I read, the more I see that there's a huge disconnect from understanding what other people actually think, and a ton of projecting. I hope you sought counseling for your trauma. But I also hope you realize all unsupervised kids are vulnerable to the same thing you experienced. Hell, even insecure adults can fall into that type of trap. It's not about gender or sexuality. Predators are predators. Nothing invalidates abuse.
@furrymemelady6222 жыл бұрын
@@grannyklampit1710 What do you mean, "that's not true". I do believe there is a significant portion of people supporting these bills that do not care about trans victims of abuse?
@feykingjulian2 жыл бұрын
@@grannyklampit1710 you should read more then because there are politcal patterns at play that you clearly don't understand. and not listening to actual lgbt peoples experience makes you look like you want to remain willfully ignorant.
@kimberlybega82712 жыл бұрын
Great work as always! I'm not a teacher but have had multiple jobs working with children and can confirm, kids just get curious about the adults in their lives. It's normal for them to ask, "Are you married," "Do you have kids," etc.? It's not "grooming" to tell children you have a spouse/partner, not even close! But like other commenters said, it seems like everything people don't like about LGBT people/topics being around children is suddenly "grooming." Like you said, a true "groomer" notices the children/youth who have bad home lives and tries to make them feel special before continually pushing the boundaries towards it being an inappropriate and abusive relationship, which includes spending a lot of time alone with the child/youth. It's not a male teacher telling an entire classroom of children in passing that he has a husband.
@pagodrink2 жыл бұрын
Really glad to see you bring your own personal experience to the conversation. The way to discriminate with bills is to be subtle about or find loopholes. So of course the bill isn't out right gonna ban talks about LGBT discussions in school in text, so that people who aren't aware of this type of history gonna call us paranoid and say that the bill isn't about that. But the truth is those in power are always gonna find loopholes to find ways to discriminate. Example: The fifteenth amendment was created to give African American men the ability to vote, but of course, people found a way to discriminate anyway, so we needed the Voting Rights act but Even today, many people are prevented from voting. So the whole thing that the bill doesn't mention gay people is the whole point! It's confusing and vague so that those in power can discriminate without people being being reprimanded for it.
@v0id_b0i_892 жыл бұрын
I'm gay and trans and (I feel like I) was groomed into believing I was cishet. I didn't start to understand myself until my mid twenties whereas most people figure that stuff out in their teenage years. No one wants to address how emotionally scarring and traumatic it is for queer people to be groomed into the cishet dominated social status quo, but when it comes to giving kids who might be queer an outlet to find themselves everyone freaks out. Queer trauma is treated as something we should just accept as sacrificial lambs and scapegoats so that the cishet overloards can maintain their dominance. (sorry, I'm mad and wanted to yell into the void for a sec) (Also, I'm probably not using the definition of grooming correctly, but that is what it felt like)
@misha55702 жыл бұрын
You should probably try EMDR. Masking with labels happens when you haven't processed what happened to you. Nobody lives atrauma free life. Being someone else is an easy way to forget your issues but it's not a solution. I hope you find Jesus Christ John 3:16
@lethe.archive2 жыл бұрын
while i get your point I really think in your hypothetical “if we banned it across the board that would be okay” misses how innately curious children are and how teachers are not robots.
@pantherette1132 жыл бұрын
My primary school teachers mentioned their lives because we were with them from 9am-3pm EVERY DAY FOR A WHOLE YEAR. They would mention their own kids, their spouses, small bits and pieces of their lives. I remember that one of my teachers had a stillbirth and didn't understand but I remember it happening because she went on maternity leave, came back early and never brought in the baby which is RITUAL for teachers who have babies. My mum had to explain it to me. One of my teachers would talk about her older daughters, she would mention that one of them was very naughty and in high school I found out she had drug problems and had been in trouble with the police. One of the teaching assistants would call you not searching your drawer properly a "a Mr. Plath look" as her husband was terrible at finding things. It is so normal to mention your life when you're a teacher but what if it was a wlw relationship and a "Mrs Plath look"? That would be grooming and that is blatant homophobia.
@liinliin71282 жыл бұрын
I was groomed mostly when I was around 12 to 15 years of age, mostly during the time when I had no friends and when I too was questioning my own sexuality at the time. I had this one male friend called Smaly (Ismael was his real name) that was 23 years old & whom I met on one of those well-known art websites during the time I had a passion for drawing. He made me feel heard. He made me feel seen. He made me feel comfortable. I was talking to this person during a time of mourning where I had lost a very good friend to distance because they had to move to another country since her parents were part of the military. I was freshly getting over a traumatizing experience from a parental parent during this time as well.. so.. everything wasn't working out great back then for me ( this had been around 7 years and 5 months now regarding my long-estranged friend... I don't think about it much anymore). I thought I had myself a good friend... someone to be comfortable with and to feel whole again..... but, uh, yeah no that didn't happen... he groomed me as he wanted to become "more than friends" and long story short I finally left that person last month for good through all of the gaslighting & manipulation that he placed on me... but I have to thank him though... Ismael helped me realize that I am a Sapphic AroAce. This video resonated with me and honestly, I feel kind of fearful for the kids in school who will have to face far worst discrimination ( or even More discrimination if they're a minority) if this "Don't say gay" bill gets passed all over the country and becomes actively administered. I do agree with you that if this law gets passed, children and people who ARE LGBTQA+ will be stripped from the ones who truly care about them and their wellbeing. With the topic of grooming, I initially think that grooming is just that; grooming. It's like friendship evangelism but it's more or less creepy older (including young adults) men doing it and this law passes, there's a good chance that more children & teenagers .... even the ones realizing they might be part of the community will not have someone to reassure and listen to them or worse.. protect them in Child's/teens' time of need. And going to get worst if this law becomes active. Fighting for our rights to love and be different is already a struggle today.
@AvatarBowler2 жыл бұрын
Speaking of talking about sex with kids, would you say there’s an age limit to when kids should be made more aware of sex and how it plays a role in society, such as when they’re 10 or 12 years old? Or is it genuinely that taboo until they’re teenagers in high school or adults in college? I ask this because I’m of the belief that kids are more intellectually capable than they’re given credit for, so a serious conversation such as this one may have a profoundly positive impact on their future development as a person. Certainly there are some things they won’t fully grasp until they’re older, but I don’t think that prevents us from telling them basic information either. 🤷♂️
@lazyperfectionist39782 жыл бұрын
I'm not from america but we're usually taught how sex works (specifically reproductive) when we're at the age range of entering puberty, about 11-12. Personally, I think learning about how bodies work and puberty should be taught earlier, especially since there's a lot of kids who experience precocious puberty (where they enter into puberty much earlier than expected) and give them more time to prepare for the bodily changes they'll expect and experience - plus knowing how bodies work and the names of parts helps CSA victims better inform authorities if they've been harmed by an adult
@mammoneymelon2 жыл бұрын
treating sex as taboo teaches victims of CSA that they shouldn't talk about what's happening to them, it only perpetuates the feelings of shame and fear that they already have obviously kids shouldn't be taught any and everything about sex and sexuality, but kids should at least have a frame of reference kat was talking about how part of grooming is isolation and if kids feel they can't talk to anyone, predators can easily take advantage of that
@AvatarBowler2 жыл бұрын
@@lazyperfectionist3978 This is kinda what I’m thinking as well, minus the part about precocious puberty. I forgot about that.
@AvatarBowler2 жыл бұрын
@@mammoneymelon Honestly, I gotta agree with that, especially about giving kids some kind of frame of reference and about de-stigmatizing sex. That’s kinda where my second question was going, because I find it strange that a normal bodily function is treated as such. It’s one thing to establish boundaries around it, but I don’t think that’s the same as classifying it as a touchy subject.
@nobody83282 жыл бұрын
In the early 80s, when I was 11, my folks sent me to a group class at the local Unitarian Universalist congregation called 'About Your Sexuality'. It was... comprehensive. ~VERY~, very comprehensive. At the time, i thought it was entirely too comprehensive. We learned about everything- anatomy with both correct and slang terms, menstruation, erections and ejaculations, masturbation, STIs, which bits can go where, etc. Gay and trans folks were included as part of the regular discussion, not as an 'alternative' or 'other'. All in a conversational manner. I've never understood how those adults kept straight faces through all the teenaged giggling and blushing! As an example, we learned about and discussed the word 'analingus'. There were gay and straight magazines we could take home in brown paper bags, that our parents had agreed not to ask us about. We played a game where we sorted MnMs into bags of all one color. Everyone had a different color, and we all went around shaking hands with each other and exchanging MnMs. One kid didn't shake hands or swap MnMs, and another kid wore a glove which meant that she got to shake hands with everyone, but didn't swap MnMs. By the end of a few minutes, we all had mixed bags if MnMs, except for the kid who wore the glove, and the kid who abstained. Hella good visual lesson! And like the gross little teens we were, we ate the MnMs during the rest of the class. It was an 8? 12? week class that was actually pretty damned traumatic for a group of pre-pubescent suburban kids. 😱😆 I didn't want anything to do with sex for years. YEARS! There was absolutely nothing left for me to be curious about. You want to put what, where? No thank you! And of course, being a teenager, I shared the information with everyone at my school. It scared me to discover how many girls thought that douching with coke-a-cola (but not pepsi?) would prevent pregnancy. (LPT- it doesn't) At 50, I firmly believe that is absolutely the best thing we could do for our kids. Give them ALL the details before they get curious and try to find out for themselves. All the messy, sticky, gross details, like with the films they show in driver's ed classes. Rather than making us want to run out and have sex with the first person we saw, most of us waited later than our peers. And when we did get around to it, we knew how to be safe and comfortable.
@BabyRainForest2 жыл бұрын
This is so on point. Even as an adult when I first knew I was a trans man, I didn't look for support in my family. I went online and had all kinds of creeps message me. So I can only imagine what it's like for kids to have to look for their answers online where there are people who would take advantage of them. I just wish people would come out and be honest that they are being biased. In highschool I had a teacher who was a proud Christian. If she was anything but that, I bet people would have said she shouldn't do that. It's just messed up. I wish people would put aside their differences and fight for a truly free America.
@harborbenassa87562 жыл бұрын
As a grooming survivor, thank you for speaking to what grooming is actually like
@jenshertog17022 жыл бұрын
The way you describe the mental state of someone in danger of grooming... You made me realise i was actually very much in danger of it in highschool. I'm glad nothing huge happened but there were definitely moments that could've gone very south very fast. It might not be fun to think about, but thank you for making me understand myself a little better💕
@firefool1252 жыл бұрын
We finally put 2 + 2 together, and realized that the way the bigots talk about LGBTQ+ folk, and other existences, is basically the same way that the medical community talks about non-normative bodily configurations - almost exclusively as disorders instead of states of being with corresponding contextual considerations EDIT: Both infuriate us
@jofawkes2 жыл бұрын
It makes me so frustrated that people co-opt the word groomer to basically mean people they don't like who are LGBT+. It is wrong in many ways, including it takes the seriousness or power of the word and makes it meaningless. I worry it is another way to vilify LGBT+ AND to take away the ability of victims to express what happened to them, or to be taken seriously.
@crazystart85812 жыл бұрын
I think more so it's about being able to educate kids about ideas of LGBTQ+ people and how to treat these people with respect because obviously their parents aren't having these conversations early enough cause queer kids are still singled out and bullied.
@roadtojason.theythem2 жыл бұрын
Hey Kat, loved this video, you're super insightful as always! It's becoming more and more clear that "grooming" to the lawmakers trying to pass this law means nothing more than people simply existing as queer and being around children. They're essentially using a conservative dog whistle and trying to pass their own disdain and prejudice off as policy, which of course is unfortunately nothing new.
@henryviiifake82442 жыл бұрын
03:03 As someone _not_ from the USA, when I hear stuff like this, I struggle to believe the USA is a real place. 💀
@tempesttossed60292 жыл бұрын
Right?? Sex ed is banned?
@kenjako2 жыл бұрын
Omg right?? I just can't understand a country where people, including children, have access to guns for example but at the same time can't have sex education. This country is a paradox.
@kittykittybangbang93672 жыл бұрын
@@kenjako America is a country where guns have more rights than women, workers, and LGBT+ people.
@babygirl_lunaa90962 жыл бұрын
I definitely agree that kids should not be talking or hearing about sex, but I think it's super important to tell kids that some people like people of the same gender, or some people's genders don't align with their assignment at birth. As a pansexual woman, I thought I was a monster when I fell in love with my female best friend at 12 even in a very open and accepting family. I wish that it was spoken about when I was younger so that I could have known that it was okay to love my female bestie.
@CalvinChikelue2 жыл бұрын
The recent, barely week-old report about the epidemic of abuse in the Southern Baptist community, one that is sickeningly similar to the Spotlight report on the Catholic Church in that it not only outlines its pervasiveness but also the gross & desperate efforts to cover up multiple instances & run defense for multiple perpetrators form youth pastors to deacons, is one giant litmus test for not just disingenuous conservative politicians like DeSantis but conservatives in our own lives. The religious right/conservative campaign to paint queer people as predators has always been hollow but their hypocrisy is dragged to the forefront when they push this demonization of the very lives of LGBTQ+ people only to turn around on the same day & ignore, pardon or outright defend & rally around preachers & christian youth leaders out here using the excuse of "just being flawed, god-fearing men who happened to stray from the light". Next time DeSantis or anyone in the GOP, politician & otherwise, want to open their mouths about the "scourge" of gay teachers grooming children, they should be asked how they feel about Baptist church leaders getting slapped on the wrists for their sexual victimization of youths in their congregation or even where all that righteous zeal goes when they condescend, insult or outright harass the grieving families of the victims of mass school shootings who criticize the police or beg for a change in our gun culture. The truth is & always has been that the GOP & the far right loons who buy into their bigoted fearmongering would step over the bodies of a thousand children if a chance to make life the slightest bit worse for marginalized people was at the end of that road of innocent sacrifices. Their concern for children doesn't extend past the end of their nose if it even reaches the walls of their collective bubble of ignorance & hate at all.
@AnonYmous-sd4pb2 жыл бұрын
So many words are overused and misused to the point where their meaning has become muddled. For example, agenda, propaganda, cancel culture, etc. Edit: Also woke. How did I forget?
@starrr3652 жыл бұрын
A lot of these are also terms that have traditionally been used by marginalized communities and/or the left & have been co-opted by the right
@orangeblossom91682 жыл бұрын
and their favorite “woke”
@uncannedspaghetti2 жыл бұрын
@@starrr365 if you can’t beat ‘em, just twist around what they’re saying and repeat it into meaninglessness
@felix52872 жыл бұрын
Imagine thinking being awake / enlightened is a bad thing
@marocat47492 жыл бұрын
Can you accuse every mention of gender in school and that as grooming and mention of cishet partners? in media too. Its in everything so that shoulsnt be hard, especially the bible.
@rayne3332 жыл бұрын
i’m gonna have to disagree with you kat on the no sex ed for kids. i know that’s not exactly what you said, but it was something along those lines. & i’m sure you probably meant only very young children like the “don’t say gay” bill you were referencing. however, comprehensive gsre which stands for gender, sexuality & relationship education is standard in many countries starting at the kindergarten level. gsre is what we tend to term as “sex ed” which is a massive oversimplification but that’s how language tends to work. gsre covers way more than just “talking about sex” from teaching kids about body boundaries & consent at an age appropriate level to learning about periods, pregnancy & “where babies come from” instead of some bs about a stork & leaving afab ppl to just fend for themselves if they get their period at a young age. gsre touches on so many topics that affect kids daily lives. this kind of education is so important from a young age to help build & model healthy boundaries around relationships of all kinds. this is all backed by research & both national as well as international child psychology boards/associations.
@l012301232 жыл бұрын
That sounds waaay more comprehensive (and better) than my sex ed was. 😅 I'm a Canadian millennial for reference.
@rayne3332 жыл бұрын
@@l01230123 oh yeah, i definitely didn't get that kind of education either. i'm on the cusp of millenial/gen z & in the US and we got basically none of that in my school although i have some friends from other cities/states that got a bit better. but comprehensive gsre is what is being recommended, advocated for & implemented in many countries. There's definitely been a huge pushback against that here in the US which i'm sure was part of the motivation for this "don't say gay" bill. (& the florida bill is not the only one by far.) conservatives don't want their kids to learn about the existence of lgbtqia+ folks, much less that it's okay to be that way. what if that turns their kids gay??? thus the predator/grooming narrative. when in fact, comprehensive gsre gives children the tools to build and maintain healthy relationships as well as be better equipped to recognize & know what to do when they are being mistreated.
@l012301232 жыл бұрын
@@rayne333 Too bad our education systems are kinda stupid about advancing education. At least I had resources like Sexplanations (KZbin) and Savage Love (newspaper section) to fill in the gaps. 🤷♂️ Gsre would help kids tremendously, no doubt about that!
@rayne3332 жыл бұрын
@@l01230123 oh yeah, sexplanations is good for sure! definitely more for an older audience tho & still not the best on trans stuff despite trying to be an ally & getting better over time.
@je10732 жыл бұрын
The implication here is that non-hetero relationships are inherently sexual in a way that hetero relationships somehow aren't. The Straights™️ are spending an awful lot of time thinking about queer sex here.
@gracieewilliams2 жыл бұрын
beautifully articulated; i wish florida lawmakers could see this!
@exnihilo4152 жыл бұрын
That would make zero difference to Florida lawmakers. They know exactly that they're doing.
@gracieewilliams2 жыл бұрын
@@exnihilo415 unfortunately yes you’re probably right :/
@Margarinetaylorgrease2 жыл бұрын
As a cisgendered person, I can relate to the vulnerable bit of this conversation and so it rings true. The abused straight people I know were in some way alone. They need to realise this. Hmm, hope that's ok and makes sense. Kids need to feel safe
@dianaespinoza76442 жыл бұрын
I think yall getting it wrong. In school I had lgbtq teachers and as high-schoolers we were curious. We knew they were married to their partners BUT they didn't really talked about it and when we asked for details they told us to mind our business. Most of these teachers are not just talking about their relationships they are telling kids they are gay or they are talking about sex. My lgbtq teachers never talked about sex or even go in depth about their lgbtq relationship. We just knew they were lgbtq and that was that.
@RHLW2 жыл бұрын
While I agree with pretty much all of what Kat's saying, I think fundamentally, she's got the wrong end of the stick wrt "grooming" and "protecting kids"... The aim of these folks isn't to protect queer kids from predation... It's to protect straight kids from being "queered". When they say "grooming", they don't mean sexually exploited... they mean "turned gay". They don't believe that it's "who you are"... they believe it's who you've been corrupted into being / into choosing.
@charlottehook73872 жыл бұрын
Many of those who will shout "GROOMER" at someone for simply being lgbtq+ will shout "LUCKY" at a little boy that was molested by an adult woman, it's disgusting to see how many people have done this
@chas_rose59622 жыл бұрын
I was the only student that was Black and gay during my 4 years of high school. Having at least one queer teacher to look up to was very impactful in a school that only had WASP teachers. I finally got to see a gay man in the role of an educator. He helped me see that there were adults that could actually understand a least one aspect of my experience in a school of teachers who I honestly know wouldn't understand my struggles as a gay student and how alienating it was. We never spoke about personal things or had a close relationship, but he opened his classroom to me when I wanted a space for light conversation or to study in the morning. Besides casual conversation and educational advice, his presence alone was a clear vision of an LGBT+ adult contributing to our community in impactful ways. I will always be thankful for the representation he gave me when I had so little to see in my community. As an Iowan, I know that the conservative factions in that community would rather me have experienced the full effects of marginalization as a Black and gay person and that fact is reflected in the legislation they put forward. I'm truly grateful that I and my trans peer have graduated and moved beyond high school but am still worried for the students that are coming after us.
@p0etrygh0st2 жыл бұрын
I dont mind children being told very vague details about sex: ie different types of relations - hetero gay etc and the vague understanding of what sex is. But not graphic details
@Aureliosb2 жыл бұрын
As a gay man who has been through similar, I understand but, when the adults don't understand that there is a child in front of them so they need to tone the adult narrative down then I personally can't get on board.
@awkwardcrypt_d2 жыл бұрын
Here in Ontario (Canada) we just had a provincial election where one of the parties running was entirely predicated on stopping a province-wide sex education plan that teaches children about lgbtq+ identities. They only got like 300-something votes province-wide (there are almost 15 million people in Ontario) but it’s scary to think that so many people are so dedicated to their discrimination that they’re willing to throw away a vote on a single-issue party. It’s sad.
@shroomshroom59452 жыл бұрын
Wow I really should move to Canada. We are losing abortion rights and now are children are even more unsafe and uneducated (and that's not even mentioning the school gun violence problem).
@Kay-kg6ny2 жыл бұрын
It's honestly scary to see a bill like this take hold ANYWHERE in the U.S. It sets such a horrific precedent and is a REALLY bad signal for where human rights are going in general. Also, between this, the school shootings, and all the other things that already make life so hard for teachers, we're gonna end up with an education system that is completely gutted of all its key talent and workforce.
@TheVivaciousNerd2 жыл бұрын
Yeah from the outside it really looks like America is sinking into a very dark place... school shootings happening often, cops in schools arresting kids while most random citizens can still get guns, the loss of women's rights, the widdling away of gay rights... it really feels like your country is descending into violence and hate more and more, and it scares me cos I'm worried it will spread. Despite how we might feel about the US, it has a huge amount of cultural influence in the world.
@kittykittybangbang93672 жыл бұрын
@@TheVivaciousNerd I'm really afraid that America will turn to the Taliban. That's why I'm going to move out.
@gracieewilliams2 жыл бұрын
so excited to see your notification pop up every week❤️ love you !
@dseray94942 жыл бұрын
This is an aside but I would say that making it illegal for teachers to talk about their spouses is just more trouble than its worth, like a spouse is gonna be a big part of their life so that's like a third of their stories gone. Now I know a lot of people would say these thing aren't relevant and don't need to be discussed in a classroom, but I would argue first that they are essential for students to build up proper conceptions of how their future relationships might be, and even just for the function of tying information to a story, making it easier to remember relevant information. Not to mention you'd have the complexity of like what if there's two teachers who are married in a school, teachers are going to slip up, and so on.
@ivolederer36332 жыл бұрын
I too find it disheartening that a lot of conservatives seem to put allowing kids to express themselves + affirm their identities on the same level as GROOMING/Child SA!
@nelliej45582 жыл бұрын
As someone who was molested and abused as a teenage I appreciate this so much. Some of these conversations are so much better held by teachers/ counselors who are monitored and where the content can be age appropriately discussed in a safe environment.
@Thaelyn13122 жыл бұрын
I do agree that talking about sex with children can be a red flag because that is how a lot of groomers start their shit. At the same time, I do wish we had more conversations with kids about consent & bodily autonomy (like the curriculum I saw in my Unitarian Universalist church).
@Jeremy-wp4yh2 жыл бұрын
I'm assuming you are not pre-k to grade 3...
@friendlyninja50482 жыл бұрын
I knew there was a reason why I was so opposed to this bill. You are right, they need to get this knowledge from somewhere. Better they learn it in school than on the street.
@Sophia-vk5bq2 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry Kat. I’m currently in a place where my coworkers make me feel bad about myself for dressing how I want or wearing makeup at work and I can’t dress in a way that makes me feel good about myself around my family either. On another note, you look so happy and amazing Kat! I used to drink Arnold Palmer all the time and their stuff is so good.
@suisui74812 жыл бұрын
16:18 these people dont even believe kids can be queer Because being queer is a choice we take when we turn 18
@liam.deshuis2 жыл бұрын
i am currently graduating high school (though my high school experience is a bit different because I am french) and this year we had a queer feminist talk group with some students and some adults of the school. we mostly talked about our experiences with sexism and queerphobia but we also talked about being in the queer community in general, and how some experiences a lot of queer kids have had are actually kind of worrying and dangerous, but the fact that we are queer keeps us from being open about it to the adults in our life. being able to share those things with adults who had had similar problems in their youth, and realising that we were all legitimate to ask for help when those things happened was so liberating. the conversations we had in that group were crucial and I can't imagine how hard it must be for the kids who don't have access to this kind of help. being able to have a space where you can share about your life as a queer person or a woman or a person in any marginalised community is incredibly important.
@deanfmofficial2 жыл бұрын
Love your input. Love everything about the transgendered community being non binary just the fact that there are people out here courageous enough to know straight up that they Identify as a gender they aren’t currently, but then decide to take that leap of faith is brilliant. Kids are totally being done an injustice by the school systems. Being a cashier I get looked at by kids on a frequent basis due to my appearance as a perceived male with makeup and get the “are you a boy or girl” question frequently so I know that judgement starts very young. I can’t imagine how that would hurt me if I was being myself at my littlest Girl idk. Anyways Kat love this release for pride! Can’t wait for more! 😉
@Itri_Vega2 жыл бұрын
I'm tired of these people claiming it is to protect kids. It's not. It's about preserving the crusty old power balance and the status quo.
@orange_peel2 жыл бұрын
As a cis-het woman who was also groomed I relate to this very much. It was the same for me. Thank you for this video !
@katszulga18882 жыл бұрын
I knew which of my female teachers were married by their title: were they a "miss" or a "mrs"? Are we banning that too?
@hopiewankenobe2 жыл бұрын
Every time you make content like this it heals the part of me that went through something similar. The way you talk about it is so humanizing, you’d be surprised how many people will victim blame when you’re a literal teenager / minor ??? Just cuz we sought validation from older people (which all young people do!!!)
@ashtonrooks78992 жыл бұрын
Hiya Kat - just want to add that bill doesn't just ban it in k-3, it also bans it in every other grade as well by forbidding discussing it in any other grade level except in accordance with Florida standards... When there are no standards permitting it
@kimberlybega82712 жыл бұрын
Thanks! I was confused when she said K-3 because I remember seeing a news story about a senior class president in Florida who wasn't allowed to reference himself being gay in his graduation speech.
@ashtonrooks78992 жыл бұрын
@@kimberlybega8271 basically, Republicans added the k through three line at the last second before passing the bill specifically because the bill was meeting popular resistance and they figured if they could recast it as being about little kids that it would gain more popularity and be easier for them to defend even if the rest of the wording still accomplished banning it in schools entirely. Sadly, much of the media has played right into what they wanted and doesn't even bother to mention that it banned throughout the other grades as well
@GamerBunny20252 жыл бұрын
That may be on a school to school basis because I've been living in Florida nearly 2 decades & they don't ban saying "gay"- not even in k-3rd grade. If anything it's more a Bible belt puritanical limit on discussing sex at all. Being pan, I could have easily said something for my college graduation & no one would of cared. Half of the art students were gay but none of us even cared to make it a thing at graduation. But I went to a school in Orlando. Maybe if you're in some backwater place with some born again Christian faculty it'd be different. If a kid asks about sex they pretty much just defer to parents unless you're taking sex ed (4th/5th grade) where they keep it clinical about what gets someone pregnant lol. I'm not originally from Florida, & I hate this swamp hell hole for various reasons & I'm moving soon- but I will defend it being gay positive for the most part. I've never felt anything but accepted wearing rainbows 🌈 on literally everything, but I also don't talk to children about my sexuality so the straights have nothing to say I guess.
@daydreambee2 жыл бұрын
Sex education for little kids has nothing to do with talking about the act of sex. It's more about educating them about what their private parts are and teach them that nobody should be touching them inappropriately. It helps them to learn how to say no and to understand when they are being abused. Here in brazil there have been cases of children as young as 7/8 that were able to understand they were being abused by their parents and told their teachers after being educated on these topics.
@briv2403 Жыл бұрын
That’s a parents job to teach kids about that not the school
@ouwebrood497 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this perspective. I was also on board with 'anti-groomer' regulations but you made very clear what is wrong with it. As you said, grooming happens in the twilight, not in the controllable space of a classroom.
@nunyadambidniss Жыл бұрын
DISAGREE. It has been happening IN THE CLASS ROOM.
@lucysour2 жыл бұрын
So I guess we're at that point where Kat has to make a video to explain that people of any sexual orientation can be groomers and queer people existing isn't grooming. 🤦♀️ Honestly I hope at least a few of the people that need to see this video will actually see it. Sometimes it just feels odd to me, like... do these politicians really not know a single queer person? Like, it's obvious sociopaths are attracted to politics, but really, the entire republican organization is fine w/ fucking over queer acquaintances, uncles, aunts, neighbors, coworkers? It's 2022, sometimes it almost feels like you can just exist and be queer and it, you know, doesn't take up that much of your time, but then Christian nationalism strikes again.
@justasimplenobody26662 жыл бұрын
I was wondering why I wasn't seeing True Tea as much! Congrats on starting your own podcast 👏 and thanks for saying what day you plan on posting your True Tea vids to YT so I know when to come and see ya! Shout outs to you for your hard work and success! I'm going to recommend some of your content to my younger sibling when they're done with school as I think it'd be a positive thing in their life to have an older trans person who is down to earth and just relatable as a person, even if it's thru a screen. My family as a whole "doesn't get" the whole "trans thing" and I can see how it hurts my sibling, so I hope this can be a safe space for them. I'm their older sibling and lgbt as well but I can't fully grasp all they're going thru right now, especially since they're still a teenager and I'm almost a decade older and not in the same boat they are.. This hit at the perfect time cuz I just got home from a family gathering, so I know that it wasn't an easy day for them knowing my family... I try my best but, I don't always have all the answers that my sibling is looking for, so I'm hoping if I send them in your direction they will find the answers they're looking for 💗 (waiting for the school year to end so they'll have the time to really watch, I hope they do..) Happy Pride to you and everyone in the comments 💗
@notleah87002 жыл бұрын
On the topic of grooming, this rhetoric also keeps queer youth and young adults from help each other when signs of abuse happen. I remember talking to a friend who had told me he was talking to and man online cause he was a part of the furry community. My friend was 16 and the man was 40. I told him the situation was weird and I asked if his mom knew but he swore she was ok with it(but in hindsight I realized his mother wasn’t the best parent) I kept warning him and he kept reiterating how the man just “understood him”. We grew distant over time and he went off the grid. It was around the time that I hit 18 when his friend had told me at church that he came out as gay and asked him out. His friend told me that it freaked him out, thought it was gross and blocked him from everything. I felt sick to stomach because I had been closeted my whole life at the time(still am in a lot of ways) and I finally understood what he meant when he said that man understood him. By the time I reach back out. He was off the grid completely and there was no way of contacting him. It’s hard to say that I regret not being out as a teen growing up in a religious/conservative environment worrying if my parents would disown me. I’ve wondered if I had known at the time and if I had the courage come out as well, would he have changed his mind about seeing that man if he’d known we in the same boat too. As I get older, looking back at the situation makes me feel more sick to my stomach as I recognize the severity of the situation. This bill absolutely terrifies me cause I don’t want more kids to go through what my friend went through.
@shirp60832 жыл бұрын
Just wanna say - I love the album covers! I recognize so many, they are great :)
@blump50802 жыл бұрын
Hey, my dad is gay and is a teacher in UK. He always wears his rainbow badge and he actually gives talks to other teachers on how to support LGBTQIA+ youth in schools. I think it’s super important that he can wear his badge so that the kids know he is a safe person to talk to about how they might be struggling with their own identities. It wasn’t the same for him growing up in Glasgow in the 1970s, so he came out later in life. What I wanted to say is that queerness isn’t just a ‘sexual’ topic, it’s about relationships, friendships, history, politics, inequality and so much more. How are these not vital topics for children and teenagers to be exposed to?
@Robstafarian2 жыл бұрын
9:04 to 9:43 is an excellent articulation of how I have pretty much always felt as a disabled person.
@soofjaken7052 жыл бұрын
I'm 26 now, but I had a health/sex ed class in 8th grade. I feel like if it's a teen about to go into high school some things do need to be taught like certain diseases and most traumatizingly what they can look like. I'm sure we all know that teenagers can be... Wild when puberty hits
@soofjaken7052 жыл бұрын
Also, in one of my old middle schools one of the teachers was a predator. He ended up arrested thankfully.
@KamillionTheFox2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the video. Super nicely explained. I disagree on the 'teacher shouldn't talk about their personal life' argument. Others in the comments already pointed it out but teachers are people. Secondly, I'm still quite fresh outta my school and still remember my favorite teachers were always those, who had something interesting to say about their life and find a way to make it a teachable moment for us students. It really made me open up to my teachers, and honestly, if you have a sympathetic teacher, you will learn more willingly and eagerly, thats my experience. You could be the world's best teacher, but if noone likes you or respects your authority, who are you gonna teach anything, really? Its so important to know who is teaching you.
@Spikeygal2 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what happened to me, yet I'd never thought of the connection between these things. Awesome video, incredibly intelligent
@catmonarchist89202 жыл бұрын
I live in the UK. I had openly communist teachers as did my mother and grandmother. This area almost always returns conservatives. Teachers really don't influence children politically in the way they think.
@M_M_ODonnell2 жыл бұрын
It's not actually about influence, it's about humanization. The modern American conservative approach is to suppress awareness of the existence of anyone "Other" in people's lives. If kids know that their favorite teacher Ms Readsalot has a wife, then the LGB kids might grow up feeling a little bit less alone and the straight kids may have a point of reference for queer people other than "those scary threatening people over somewhere else." And if kids are aware that trans folks exist, then trans kids (or kids who will realize later that they're trans) may grow up feeling less lost and cis kids are in danger of thinking of trans people as...just people.
@etherealnerd2 жыл бұрын
I love the (new to me) intro showing your drink and cup! Really excited to hear your take on this topic as someone who has unfortunately been groomed as well :/
@wehttamsetneuf2 жыл бұрын
I very much appreciate your voice and presence on the internet. Always well said. Content aside (can't wait to hear the call-in show): your makeup is always soo🪄🌠 love it!!
@JennyNobody2 жыл бұрын
Im 33 and it wasn't until you brought it up that i realized that not a single one of my teachers in elementary school and only 1 or 2 in HS ever acknowledged having any kind of spouse
@bills-beard2 жыл бұрын
this is the response to this bill i was hoping to see from someone. thank you.
@felix52872 жыл бұрын
Glad to see you! Need your voice in these times.
@Bantoshima2 жыл бұрын
This type of legislation is so scary. What's the problem with informing children about basic things of sex and gender. They're going to find out through TikTok anyway....
@mcgheebentle19582 жыл бұрын
This bill only affects kindergarten through third grade.
@itcouldbelupus28422 жыл бұрын
@@mcgheebentle1958 no it doesn't. It also affects all levels of schooling where the discussion is deemed "age inappropriate".
@KattaDrawsLive2 жыл бұрын
Great video, thank you for sharing your experience! "Grooming" is such a bad excuse for this bill. As a German, sex ed being banned is such a weird concept to me. While we have a (unnecessary) discussions about whether or not younger kids should be educated about transgender people, it's pretty common to have general sex ed around 3rd/4th grade, most times including talking at least briefly about gay relationships. I think in a time where the internet is accessible to most kids it's pretty irresponsible to not give them sex ed from a proper and checked source. Kids can find online anything from misinformation to explicit content. So giving them the necessary context to understand that stuff and protect themselves from predators is the least we can do (Also girls in 4th grade can already get their period and they should be prepared for that)
@emmalinehawthorne39222 жыл бұрын
Love to see video True Teas and looking forward to the schedule! That seems like the perfect mix of both. Great take as well. This is such a good point and tbh a common theme I have noticed in queer media, not always grooming persay but severe age differences due to the stigma around being queer and the struggle to find someone when everyone is in the closet. Thanks for the video ♡
@22SeaJay2 жыл бұрын
Such an important video. Thank you! Watched the Arielle video on it (I know, I know) and was just rolling my eyes at how awful it was that someone in the LGBT+ community was spreading ridiculous misinformation.
@AlexAxford72 жыл бұрын
So good to see you back on the tube spilling the True Tea 🤗 how else are we going to appreciate your impeccable music taste via vinyl album cover mural? 😍
@jdogdarkness2 жыл бұрын
It's ridiculous to prevent talk about GENDER... Why does everyone confuse that with SEXUAL ACTS? Even Kat seems to fall for this. Also, keeping kids IGNORANT of what sex is, it creates at atmosphere where pedos operate out of sight. I think Kats wrong on all this. Actually, factually, she is
@miavaughn23932 жыл бұрын
Yup. Many kids that are groomed or sexually abused might not even know what sex IS if under the age of 12 commonly, due to how late sex ed is. And many kids ARE abused below that age. Sex SHOULD be taught earlier. What is this insane western idea that kids for some reason cant know what sex IS just like keeping them believing in santa claus or the easter bunny!?!? Its insane. Theyre LESS likely to engage in sexual behavior or be abused if theyre aware. Its like, geez, why???
@ninjamatt21642 жыл бұрын
What are the homophobes gonna do when they realize that what they have done has caused their own gay children to be possibly groomed, emotionally damaged, and hidden in the closet causing pain further down the road for the child and for the family, now what we’re you saying about the children and family values?
@ninjamatt21642 жыл бұрын
Have you heard of, Grace and Frankie, the Netflix show? 😚, yeah, what about children and family values?
@Deathbycurves2 жыл бұрын
Protecting and providing for children is our world's greatest preventative action to ensure a healthier and happier society. I understand how some people may be confused/weirded out by the openness of LGBTQ+ community now, but silencing them is not the answer. The way our society is set up is meant to pin us against each other, to control by fear. It's easier to not understand people different from you so you can rationalize hurting them.
@dianabaudin81042 жыл бұрын
i can see this happening in Argentina, we passed a law that's called ESI so integral sexual education and ideally is adapted to every grade. Teachers have guidelines on what to teach in each year and then they choose how to do it, this is for the whole country. Plus, it covers not just the basic sex ed, it covers how to teach little kids where they can't be touched by adults, how to say no, consent, diversity, healthy relationships and much more. But still i see things like what is happening in the state also happening here, i was told by a co teacher that they are teaching kids how to be gay, the way i had to take deeps breaths and explain how the law works. I'm two finals away from being a history teacher and i want to be a good adult that students can trust and a good role model, teachers aren't robots and that's the whole point, the way we think influences everything we do and we teach. Is not ideology, is about giving kids and teens the space to grow and find themselves without judging.
@kiwibird49662 жыл бұрын
Thank you for having true tea back on YT! I really love these videos, they're my fave thing you upload ((:
@misha55702 жыл бұрын
Those who were groomed will not know why grooming is wrong for kids, and will internalize it make it about them. Thus harming the lgbtqia+
@KatBlaque2 жыл бұрын
I experienced grooming and know how it works and know why it is harmful. Most children who experience grooming do not have active adults on their life whom are looking out for them. This usually leads to them seeking out adult affirmation elsewhere and sometimes groomers are incredibly aware of that and take advantage of that. I experienced grooming because I didn’t have an accepting family. This meant that I was able to find an accepting adult who would eventually drug and rape me when I was a minor. And after I was raped, I still felt safer around him than I did with my parents. You don’t have to agree or support everything your child does but making sure that they can trust you or be honest with you and still be safe is key. You don’t get that rejection only creates a thirst for acceptance. I’d rather kids find that in a situation with an adult that’s being monitored than by an adult stranger who trust me, will always be there to fill in for a supportive parental role.
@coopigeon6192 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being so open and honest on this topic. I learned a lot from watching this video. You're amazing, and thank you for telling your story. We need more amazing people like you in the world.
@Starmander2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciated hearing this as I haven't had the emotional stability to engage with these people.
@bonesandhearts568310 күн бұрын
It reminds me of sexual abuse in churches: the more that sex in general is shamed, the less consent is emphasized and the more sexual abuse is able to remain hidden
@salembookworm Жыл бұрын
Are there groomers in the LGBTQ+ Community? Yes. Do we need to speak out against them? Also yes. But we also need to educate people on queer stuff. I wish I had the resources back in the 90s/early 2000s. My Coming Out Journey would have been a lot easier.