Groucho Marx: Best Jokes, Puns and Ad Libs #1

Enjoy this collection of witticisms and responses to guests from Groucho Marx on his game show "You Bet Your Life" from the 1950s.
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[@whenthemusicsover6028]

"That's one of the few things I've never had on a mattress!" XD

[@spvillano]

Was married for over 42 years, never considered that on a mattress. Thousands of other things, not that.

[@jackspry9736]

RIP Groucho Marx (October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977), aged 86 You will be remembered as a legend.

[@thelastmotel]

His death was overshadowed by Elvis' death which was 3 days earlier.

[@user-wp4ju4hp5w]

I liked when he said: " I love my cigar but I take it out once in a while "

[@spvillano]

In response to Freud.

[@StrikerEureka85]

up to this day it still does not cease to amaze me how lightning fast he is with his witty comebacks. a true king of comedy.

[@tristanyokom1542]

The reason he started smoking cigars was so that if he needed time to think of a joke or line he could use it to buy time

[@KenL414]

Still one of the funniest people to ever live IMO. His delivery was almost as good as his mind.

[@jerryoshea3116]

Can't argue with that(Groucho w/b appalled by today's so called humour)but today they w/b labelling him all manner of things,but somehow I don't think he'd care!!..A ****** class act..

[@edwincarlosroman]

Haven't seen anyone better

[@1odham]

Agreed.

[@hayden6700]

@@jerryoshea3116 what the fuck does "today's so called humor" mean lmao

[@jerryoshea3116]

@@hayden6700 What I said was clear enough..Of course u can make what u like of it!

[@fig816]

You mean the girls couldn’t run without felt? A lot of them are felt and then run. That line is classic!

[@AceripXF]

i dont get the 1st part

[@konni6694]

@@AceripXF The candidate is listing a few commercial applications of felt (the fabric). He mentions it's used in women's clothing but also says "automobiles and aeroplanes couldn't run without felt". Groucho initially goes for the low-hanging fruit and asks whether women "couldn't run without felt" - and then absolutely kills it

[@wilbertpaul4099]

I loved You bet your life , as a child. It's great seeing these old reruns. Groucho still makes me laugh. What a great comedian, one of a kind.

[@jordank1489]

My favourite part is how disappointed he is in himself with every dirty joke

[@destree6348]

I would catch him do that in movies too lol

[@DalyTheThird]

Knowing full well it could never be aired! He'd say " that's what we call a waste of film."

[@EstebanGunn]

I know that feeling when a dirty joke enters your mind and right after you say it you're like, "oh no, I hope they go easy on me..."

[@Voidroamer]

thats why that last joke really hits home

[@PreservationEnthusiast]

This is not funny at all.

[@kernowarty]

Wow. How quick he was to think up the Felt joke. Genius

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Of course that's what genius does!!

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Or " if you keep your feet on the ground you'll never be a mother.

[@spitshinetommy3721]

Lightning quick. Came here to say the same thing.

[@damohanson5393]

Not everyone adored Groucho. His son told the story of his family returning from a vacation in Canada. When they stopped at Customs the agent asked the usual questions but when he asked Groucho’s occupation instantly he replied Smuggler. Their family then was interrogated for hours and their car searched. The family was pissed but Groucho thought it was hilarious.

[@thelastmotel]

When they were in Vaudeville, audiences came for Chico. When their films were first released, Audiences came for Harpo. Groucho wasn't popular with the fans until the 40s.

[@bobbyscalchi4013]

Must have been smuggling Cuban cigars '62 embargo.

[@awcleve]

Never really watched any Groucho before, just a lot of imitations and pop culture references growing up in the 80's. Watching this now I'm amazed at his wit and delivery, and I can see the caricatures of him didnt do him any justice. He was a man who was truly made for comedy!

[@bobcrestwood740]

At the time of these shows, he had been doing comedy for about 50 years, so he had a lot of practice.

[@dontanner232]

I hope you caught up.

[@golfhound]

Might I suggest you watch all of the Marx Brothers movies. Their two best were A Night at the Opera and A Day at the Races. Duck Soup is also a classic. Those three were when they were at their peak. After Erving Thalberg died, their films went down hill. Bear in mind their comedy was from the 1920's - 40's. And you'll need to have an appreciation of slapstick and physical comedy or you won't get it.

[@alro2434]

@@golfhound The films were at their peak, in the movies, but their peak was well before then when they did these shows when touring, live on stage all over the country.

[@mavjimbo]

Didn't need to be politically correct then

[@ijustwannaleaveacommentony6511]

pulling my leg girl is stunning

[@sladikk]

This video is great because it shows how people back then actually talked; most media from this era is heavily scripted

[@seanburns4168]

The greatest comedian of all time; no one ever comes close to his talent.

[@BankaiFever]

Dave Chappelle, George Carlin, Rodney dangerfield, Louis CK come to mind

[@aaronrepp8182]

Amen

[@Rick_King]

Groucho was incredible! His humor still resonates today, and while he could be very suggestive, he was never downright dirty. Although considering the censors of the 1950s, it's surprising some of his comments made it past them!

[@rgrim7409]

Only Groucho could have his audience laughing in the aisles merely by looking out at them. They expected that the ad lib one liner was about to be dropped. Johnny Carson could do the same thing. Groucho once had a guest on that remarked that he and his wife had 10 children. Groucho asked him how that happened. The guest replied "I love my wife." As always Groucho did the slow look into the audience and they were going crazy with laughter. He did not disappoint. His come back was, "I love my cigar but I take it out once in a while." Imagine if you were in the audience for that one!

[@davebowker1113]

The timing is absolutely amazing!! Just the pauses and slight facial expressions.......

[@gonzogranny]

Good lord Groucho was quick.

[@Mrinsaneinthemind]

The next quickest i saw after him was Craig Ferguson but noone was as quick as Groucho

[@Cluv22]

Groucho's delivery was just PERFECT!! *Muah* *chef's kiss*

[@headshock1111]

THE MAN DOES NOTHING AND HE MAKES ME LAUGH. HE LITERALLY DOES NOT DO A THING, DOES NOT SAY A WORD AND I LAUGH OUT LOUD. He was the GOAT.

[@user-xu4ow3bu6f]

You nailed it

[@golfhound]

Jack Benny was just as good at that doing nothing with a blank stare and audiences couldn't stop laughing. Groucho said that Jack Benny was one of the few comedians who could have him ROTFL.

[@richardpodnar5039]

The clip with a young "Gypsy Boots" (an early legendary health advocate) talking about the football and the bag of nuts cracks me up every time😂❤

[@robertmiller3381]

I thought he was going to tell the guy he could've played with his nuts. In fact I think he kind of did with a look, then pulled his punch at the last second.

[@leekorbel1191]

The one and only Groucho... amazing mind, timing, delivery.... truly one of a kind! No wonder he is a legend. An American treasure.

[@georgemoore7186]

Not sure who the fastest gun in town is but there is no doubt who the fastest wit in town is.......Groucho is truly one of a kind of any era

[@stevenshook3348]

The "felt" bit was great. I think Marx even surprised himself with that play on words.

[@getgaming3151]

I didn't understand it can you explain? I know it's a sex joke but I didn't fully understand it

[@burtbloom4794]

I'm 76 years old and Groucho 's "You Bet Your Life" was one of my favorite TV shows; my whole family watched it regularly. He had a monumental. True humor is timeless - these clips are as funny now as they were in the 1950s.

[@dragonbutt]

It'll be 100 years after groucho marx and he will still be funny af

[@andyjay9346]

They were all brilliant. Never get tired of the Marx brothers.

[@walterfristoe4643]

I remember that once on this show an old lady made Groucho put his cigar out! :-D

[@mspeter97]

We should all aspire to be as quick witted as he was. It's like he knows what people will say to him

[@thestranger9226]

In a world where wit is rare the man with quick wit is king.

[@thestranger9226]

its routine for him... he understands the patterns

[@TPDManiacXC626]

@@thestranger9226 Groucho Marx wasn’t exactly a straight A+ student in actual classrooms, but he was quite a voracious bookworm. I can’t help but wonder which books he was reading that helped craft his quips.

[@robertewing3114]

@@TPDManiacXC626 principally Hear Yourself by Prem Rawat.

[@LeroyBraun]

That man was hilarious.

[@homiehomerton7638]

The great Groucho. I wish I could have met him or seen him live. One of the GOAT! Never saw him speechless

[@williamkoppos7039]

Ya know I never forget a face....but in your case I'll make an exception. LOVE that man.

[@jamestillman3150]

What a true genius. Nobody has had the timing and poise of this man before, or since.

[@davidpage3893]

Groucho was more quick witted and funnier than Milton Burl. Milton was all about Milton..an ASSHOLE.

[@Yawnpawn1]

7:02 if you get laughs like that, you're Groucho.

[@jimmyju76]

Tongue and cheek humor, tongue and cheek lol 😆

[@badczech8485]

The phrase is "tongue in cheek" 🙄

[@kwdrm1]

One time Groucho had as one of the contestants an organ grinder, who claimed his monkey could impersonate Groucho. He brought the monkey out and the monkey did a perfect impersonation, to which Groucho replied, "That's not the first time somebody ever made a monkey out of me. "

[@neilfeinberg7825]

Elephants are prized for their tusks but they're very hard to remove. That's why I hunt elephant in Alabama where the Tuscaloosa. You can't make this stuff up!

[@rogerlegends166]

One night I shot an elephant in my pajamas .....

[@Powerranger-le4up]

@@rogerlegends166 How he get in my pajamas, I don’t know

[@SergioArellano-yd7ik]

We took pictures of the native girls but they weren't developed

[@stephencarpenteri2223]

Funniest guy who ever lived. He had more comedy in his eyebrows than any of today's so-called comedians.

[@lnAmberClad]

Calm down man

[@joe-nz4xz]

He's right, comedians today suck. @@lnAmberClad

[@larrykanner37]

One of the sharpest, quickest comedic minds ever!! Brilliant!

[@cedricd7110]

I counted so many lawsuits, it made my head spin. Funny, I won't lie.

[@robertcarter8868]

As much as his words were brilliant, his pauses were also. He had the gift to extend laughter.

[@vaeshethblade931]

Some of the best moments are when even the great Groucho gets surprised, has to process what was just said, and just silently looks at the camera. The look and time he has to think of what to say are just as funny as anything he might have just quipped had he been able to do so.

[@maxelldenomie6131]

"I thought my jokes were bad!" The Joker

[@jazzguy1927]

I met and talked with Groucho at the repremiere of Animal Crackers at a theater in Westwood near UCLA campus in the 1970’s.

[@jimmartin7881]

I got in lots of trouble as a kid using Groucho's lines, I remember getting the strap after church one weekend for an impromptu impersonation in Sunday school.

[@XxLIVRAxX]

I bet it was worth it

[@jimmartin7881]

@@XxLIVRAxX It sure as hell was, I was even laughing about it while getting whacked and it just made my dad angrier. I cried later though, my ass was beet red for 2 days.

[@PepperWilliamsMusicBlend]

Groucho was such a quick wit!

[@TheDiablo6661]

He was the real deal, very cunning. guests were standing 😂

[@jjackson4754]

All improv. Amazing.

[@3847CAK]

The master of double entendre.

[@MrAjizzle89]

Gilbert's impression is spot on🤣

[@zovalentine7305]

Rest in powerful peace Julius Henry Marx⚘ 2 October 1890 ~ 19 August 1977 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@cherylween4973]

I'm surprised he lived that long.

[@marknagy5892]

None like Groucho he was the best.

[@kiwitrainguy]

@@cherylween4973 It must have been all those cigars.

[@cherylween4973]

@@kiwitrainguy is that a joke?

[@kiwitrainguy]

@@cherylween4973 Yes it is. I'm sorry, I should have put "lol" after my comment.

[@richardfurey690]

Groucho Marx was one of the funniest Men who ever lived!

[@acousticshadow4032]

My God - Groucho was the best.

[@randymerlo4070]

he is the best

[@howardmckenna]

He was surprisingly risqué for the time!

[@samiam9582]

i know this is for Groucho but Women of the 50s were beautiful

[@jimmartin7881]

The blonde in black was gorgeous.

[@springyslinky2190]

@@jimmartin7881 they were all in black knucklehead; color tv wasn’t invented yet

[@jimmartin7881]

@@springyslinky2190 So the blondes at :06, 1:10, 6:40, 8:20, 8:46, 9:40 and 11:02 were all in black too? You must be color blind, lol.

[@deezlesteezle]

@@springyslinky2190 Sounds racist if you ask me...

[@Grim528]

@@springyslinky2190 you didn’t think that joke through, didja?

[@AceripXF]

thats 1 of the many things i havet had on a mattress LMAOO😂

[@kojirohyuga9]

Tak się żyje. Groucho to mistrzunio!

[@lesliethyagarajan]

best of Marx....Thanks

[@yokomitz]

No matter how many times I hear the one beginning at 0:08 , I still can't help get freaked out!

[@mstrsims2]

this is hysterical. thanks for posting.

[@davidcarney1827]

He was a comic genius

[@jazzmanchgo]

Strange that Groucho couldn't decipher the word "scourge" -- he was a very literate, well-read man.

[@alexanderdelacruz9249]

Yeah, I was surprised too 😳

[@wildwoodtop]

timestamp please "scourge"

[@humanbeing2420]

@@wildwoodtop 5:11

[@AceripXF]

how Do u say it lol

[@humanbeing2420]

@@AceripXF sk-urge

[@clairewing6260]

Bloody love this man .. 👨 🧍‍♂️

[@MichaelTuohy]

The way the lady @ 0:57 says "maternity clothes". So funny!

[@nathelondon3719]

Groucho Marx was one the quickest, smartest comedians in the history of the world. He was sharp and funny until the end. Shalom and RIP.

[@jamaldominicbarr7379]

Timeless

[@tacticalsapper]

The girl at 0:37 is just lovely. What a pretty girl.

[@rabidrabbitshuggers]

His mind was so quick.

[@jasondinger9984]

Eat your heart out, Steve Harvey.

[@spectralv709]

Man don’t even mention Harvey in the presence of groucho

[@mindriot91_96]

@@spectralv709 Yeah, really. Groucho is on a whole different level.

[@kevinhallisey5201]

This was a 30 minute show. Usually they had 2 pairs of contestants. BUT He would talk to these people for a long time, and that's how he got the hilarious sound bites. This was the 1st show to use the "3 camera setup, to capture the whole shot, Groucho's responses and then the reactions of the guests. THEN It was all edited down into a 30 minute program. Was it brilliant? You bet your life.

[@davidekstrand8544]

There is a commercial going on right now... ...which gives you an opportunity to go to the bathroom! 😂

[@jeanbaumgartner4052]

Groucho Marx 🥸is absolutely hilarious 😂 😅

[@rossriver75]

Girl 1:37-1:45, what a doll. Real 1950s doll ( Or anytime doll, I guess).

[@joshs.6426]

Yeah shes someones great grandma now

[@rossriver75]

@@joshs.6426 yeah. But doesn’t matter. It’s what she was that counts. It’s all fantasy anyway.

[@joecampitiello3643]

Strange how this was on TV would never fly on prime time today

[@josephbryanmitchell5938]

will you marry me? are you rich? answer the second question first. Genius!

[@scootscootriot1020]

4:39 looks like Leonard Nimoy and Moe Howard had a baby and slapped it silly. 🤪

[@sliceserve234]

wonderful stuff

[@AceripXF]

Groucho is my kinda guy!!! LOL

[@bobeichelberg7715]

Comedic genius.

[@TheMrB]

Love it

[@grouchomarx2276]

Grouch is class 🎉

[@alanthirsk374]

Now, allow me to slip out of these wet things and into a dry martini.

[@restjbo]

The jokes aged beautifully…

[@lhs66]

Imagine the circles he’d run around someone like Howard Stern (howeird stoin)

[@itsjustian8484]

Howard Stern? I had a feeling that it was Howard's turn. You're up next, Howie.

[@justayoutuber1906]

He was the king of comedy

[@rainmakerii2610]

LMAO 😂😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣😅😂 This guy is comedy!!!!!!

[@b.deville3236]

GROUCH MARX IS A LIVING LEGEND!!!

[@TheHornPipeSmokeShop]

He’s still alive???

[@ghoulrush]

I guess it's nice to know that people have always been making dirty innuendos

[@connortidwell4147]

In your endo

[@ghoulrush]

@@connortidwell4147 Right in the endoooo!!!!

[@itsjustian8484]

Dirtyin' your windows.

[@31emxof]

Have you seen the marginalia from medieval texts or murals and street art in Pompeii? I'd say we've become pretty tame by comparison.

[@ghoulrush]

@@31emxof nerd alert!!!!! JK, I have seen it because I am a nerd too. I guess nothing beats the classics, not even the dirty jokes.

[@jjmboston5832]

i laughed at all of them.

[@AlephNeil]

He reminds me of Peter Sellers sometimes - that mischievous grin.

[@scruffy2365]

Great

[@Brough1111]

Guys the best there ever was

[@dan5660]

"LET'S GO GROUCHO!"😁😁😁

[@mattschneider6773]

Only Groucho could get away with these lines....

[@goddamnit816]

Now i know where late night comes from.

[@lupedominguez8872]

God he was amazing.

[@hillcrock]

I love to watch all the video’s of the Quiz show “you bet your life” on you tube. There are so many of them!

[@StayOnParade]

Anyone else finally here after hearing Gilbert's impression for decades?

[@user-iv7ts3zm4y]

Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end, we sang and danced for ever and a day........now we have........hello darkness my old friend....I've come to talk with you again....FJB...

[@barbaracrain2975]

True comedy!!

[@MikeOkslong-vi8et]

The two funniest words in the English language, Groucho Marx