My TOUGHEST Challenge Yet! (Harder Than An Ultra Marathon!?)

[@kerrynball2734]

Good one James.

[@gtn]

thank you very much for the support! ❤️

[@ketjuariittaa]

Look for 50 . Best times😂🎉😢😂 ...it is best Time. Welcome

[@ketjuariittaa]

60 is just extention your best Time 50 + 10=60 🐕☝️🙏🇪🇺🇫🇮

[@jamescunnamaGTN]

Thank you to everyone for the messages under this video. I have read them all and will continue to. It means a lot that this video has been so well-received and hopefully it helps someone going through something similar somewhere in the world. ❤❤❤ If you're struggling, start by reading the comments below this video - you'll probably find someone going/been through exactly the same thing. Start with admitting to someone, anyone, even if it's yourself, 'I'm not OK.'

[@clay8717]

This video really hit me hard. I was a struggling alcoholic and got sober two years ago. Doing triathlon helps but I've seen them lows. Thank you for everything you do....

[@angeli12341]

Big love James ❤

[@bobmckenzie394]

One of the toughest and inspiring videos to get through. I hope it’s helped you as much as so many others. Really glad to see you’re on the up.

[@cockerfamilyadventures1854]

@@jamescunnamaGTN we appreciate you helping to decrease the stigma around depression and suicide especially in men. Lost one of my mates at 25, I'd give everything to go back and re-read the warning signs. Message to everyone to reach out to those you love and appreciate and check in constantly.

[@IvyPerez_DreamBuilder]

@@clay8717congratulations on your sobriety. I am 6 yrs sober and found triathlons to be my saving grace 🙏🏼

[@AndreasBergman]

This video was well needed for myself, and I bet thousands of others.

[@gtn]

🫶

[@jamescunnamaGTN]

I'll be happy if it helps even one person. Thanks for watching.

[@TiagoCortez84]

@@AndreasBergman count me in.

[@chevystuffs5971]

@@jamescunnamaGTNit helped me.

[@jonathanbrandenburg6508]

Seriously James, this was one of the best videos GTN has ever made, and that’s saying something. As a 40 something who has struggled with health issues, mental health challenges, and being a father of 4 and a husband of 1, this video meant so much to me. Ever since you joined the GTN crew I thought you provided a needed perspective, especially for us old guys doing trying just to keep fitness and sanity in our training. This video confirms you were the perfect addition to an already awesome team, and so glad you are still moving forward in your journey and sharing with us some of that journey. So blessed by you, brother! ❤️‍🩹❤️✊🏻

[@typhoon7006]

Takes a strong person to admit the thoughts and feelings you had, especially on a popular channel with a large audience. Stay Strong James.

[@chasingtheclouds]

Thank you for this raw and honest video. In this sport, we don’t talk enough about mental health, so I‘m so impressed by your openness. James you’re an incredible athlete, but what’s more is that your determination, dedication and empathy make you an exceptional person. Thank you for being part of this world and sharing your life with us.

[@craigreed5440]

Thank you, James and GTN crew. This was brave, honest, real and relatable.

[@gtn]

Thanks for the comment!

[@richardruns4cake]

GTN / play sports Thank you for sticking by James and making this film

[@youngy76]

Hi James your video has brought me to tears, Im Paul and have been struggling with ptsd and depression for a couple of years, i also experienced panic, agroaphobia and was scared to train out in the country far from my house. I recently completed IM 70.3 Weymouth to face my demons and raise money for MH. I am 48 and love the GTN vids and always enjoy GTN vids. Training has been my saviour but sometimes life just gets too much still and I break down. I wish you all the best mate, hold your family in your heart and soul you have achieved great things be proud. Id love the opportunity to one day meet you and the GTN crew maybe do a ride with you guys and share my full story.

[@jamescunnamaGTN]

Hang in there Paul, and reach out to someone in the tough times. I hope we get to do that ride together sometime!

[@youngy76]

@@jamescunnamaGTN Thanks James your kind words mean alot and much appreciated. I think without IM training I would be totally empty with no goals. I want to prove to people that no matter how dark things get we can push through it and achieve our goals with small wins. Seeing your story was so moving for me as i can relate. Maybe one day I will also help people with my story of what happend and how I dug deep to find the strength to fight through. The focus now is sub 6hrs 30mins at Weymouth 70.3 next year

[@ODBlackout1]

I’ve never resonated with a KZbin video so much in all my life. Similar age, family and situation to James…with the same dark thoughts at times. So brave to put this out and admit, very inspiring. You’re a role model for many middle aged men James.

[@werdnaeyaf]

Powerful video that. To show such vulnerability is true strength. Thank you James ❤

[@johngmcdonnell]

F… that was hard core. Thanks for being so honest. Stay fit in every way. Family is the answer

[@kneedownpom397]

That took some balls to make that video and share your very personal feelings and personal life with the world, but thank you. ❤

[@samwinstanley6820]

Thanks!Great video James, really glad you are doing okay. I've been there and I have done the journey back. Well done for talking about it, keep going

[@gtn]

Thank you for your comment and for the support on behalf of the GTN team!

[@Lindemann0815]

One of my best friends killed himself in July...he was 39 and from the outside also had nothing really to complain about. Did not stop him though. I have had those dark moments too, after the breakup of my relationship, just seing my kids half of the time now. Triathlon really has helped and gave me a goal and something to focus on. Got injured a few times too and had to take a break. I think that's the universe telling us to deal with our "demons" and not just ignore them. I hope you can find happyness again James. Suicide does not erase the pain. It just moves it to all the other people around you. Sending a big hug

[@Triathletforlife]

Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight! I feel your pain…been there myself.

[@Lindemann0815]

@@Triathletforlife

[@Chasing-the-outdoors]

Lost my best friend in January, sorry to hear about your loss. I know it was so difficult to exercise afterward, since we did all of these activities together. What you’re going through, you aren’t on your own here. You’re very accurate with the pain being spread around.. one thing I took from it is how important our friends are, which includes you, to the people around them.

[@Lindemann0815]

@@Chasing-the-outdoors thank you for your kind words and condolences for your loss. You are very right with everything you said. That loss made me realize how important friendships and relationships are. Seeing the reactions to this video makes me happy because Triathlon really is an awesome community to be a part of :)

[@cernymir]

Respect. This is by far the best video from GTN in a long time for me. Not because others are bad, they are very good. It is because it resonates so much with me. Thank you man for sharing this.

[@RunOnTheWyldSyde]

So many thoughts watching this video. It can all be summed to with a simple "Thank you." This was beautiful, truthful, and real.

[@SnaxNoCo]

I think that many endurance athletes do what they do simply to keep their demons at bay. Moving keeps us vital, joyful, social, and alive. Stopping leads to pain, suffering, isolation, and sadness. Explaining this to others is frequently impossible since it doesn't really make much sense. But it's real. Always keep moving!

[@TheImprobableIronman]

Thank you for sharing this story James - and thanks to the GTN crew for the way the story was told. It was insightful to hear about how many things, all piling on top of each other took you where it did. Like many others in the comments, I can relate to that. For me, a highlight was hearing you say to your kids, "I ran 79 kilometres and didn't''t finish but it's OK - I had a great day" - spot on mate; spot on.

[@andrewmcalister3462]

Thank you James for your honesty and openness on a very difficult topic. And thank you Belinda for the magnificent shots of the Lakes scenery - they help make this video a story of positivity and hope in dark places.

[@BelindaHumphries]

Thank you so much☺️

[@phill3676]

Thank you for making this video. It takes a very strong person to talk about the difficult stuff, and we just do not talk about mental health enough. It is really important, and really honest, to talk and to hear about the highs and also the lows. Stay strong, and thanks so much for sharing.

[@alekslambfitzone5144]

This was very special video. I'm a mother of two, business owner and a triathlete. I'm a woman, but still relate and understand exactly how you feel... Its so easy to loose yourself, especially when the children are young, daily tasks are longer than your shopping list and you also have a marriage that needs to be cared for otherwise it dies slowly. Doesn't matter whether you are a woman or a man - life can be overwhelming and looking at a "quick exit" might be so tempting at times. And yes, sport and having a goal can be life saving, but you need to have people around you who can support you and make it possible. Without it it's even more frustrating. Because you know what you need but you can't have it. Thank you for sharing your story and talking about mental health issues and what's more important, how to deal with them.

[@lanceball3209]

I've never commented on a KZbin video before. Thank you James for the best GTN video ever. Like far too many, our family has unfortunately been greatly affected by mental health and suicide. Incidentally, I wasn't aware until this video that your wife is Jodie Swallow. I raced against Jodie at Ironman Kalmar 2013. That's rather stretching my description of racing! Jodie won. I came 1,514th overall. I remember Jodie well, because when she spoke after winning, she was so nice, humble and made those of us that finished at the back of the field still feel really special. I wish you and your family all the best. Lance.

[@1carus1]

I have watched hundreds of GTN videos but this was the most powerful. Your honesty was brave and courageous. Kudos to you James for helping breaking down the barriers of men’s mental health. Forget the finish line, you showed you’re a winner. Thank you.

[@JMHertford09]

Man, this was an unexpected video! As many others have said, mental health is so under diagnosed and under appreciated in modern life and it really shouldn't be (your quote about suicide being the biggest killer in men under 50 completely underlines that). As someone who had dark thoughts going through a divorce (with 2x young children at the time..) I can relate to some of the despair you might have felt. I also completely understand your happy place - it's also my happy place - albeit on a mountain bike 🙂 I am 55 and as I continue to fight old age, slower Parkrun times and slower bike times, I console myself that I am still able to get out at all. So many people are shut at home and cannot move, either because of a physical problem or a mental one. If I could say one thing, it would be to look for easier challanges to start with and slowly progress. Not completing a challenge could mentally put you back a few steps. See you on the next start line, possibly at one of the superb Lakeland Trail events - and live life to the full!

[@marcinswirek3253]

This is the best video I’ve seen on the GTN channel, and I need to say, that all the content published there is excellent. It's deep, sincere, and forces you to reflect on yourself. I also found a part of this story with which I fully identify. 42 years old, father of one princess, divorced. And yes...we keep moving forward... All the best for all of you.

[@AlasdairBayne]

legendary words James, thankyou for the video

[@loolapalooza6429]

Thank you, James. And thank you GTN for all your inspirational videos 👏

[@gtn]

Glad you like them! And thank you for the support!

[@Finn-d9p5w]

Ex athlete at 36 and this hits home. Good on ya mate - no other words.

[@nichafordful]

James - what a video - not what I was expecting from the thumbnail but incredibly moving and brave to put it out there. I am sure that this will help many viewers.

[@rogger55]

James, I've seen GTN videos for quite a while now, and I have to admit I didn't think of you as someone who would struggle with this kind of problems, I suppose I've always looked up to pro triatheltes myself as people that are thougher, stronger than ordinary people, I still think they are.... I think that's why i got into triathlon as well, I wanted to be just like them... like all you people in GTN, I honestly felt bad to see you admit you thought about ending it all and I think we all are at risk of feeling like that at some point in our lives. Having said all this, I am really really happy you have overcome this and are ok now, however, you still seem to have something left in there but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Please take this comment as a token of my admiration to you for being able to admit and overcome this in your life. I really like everyone in GTN and i think you are an important piece of the puzzle in GTN's formula of success. Sincerely from Mexico...

[@mattread5891]

Thanks James for sharing this part of your story. An ironman with a tender heart.

[@fhakim21]

Well done James and thank you for sharing your story! Life is like an Ironman, you just have to dig deep and trust the process. I wish you all the best 🙏

[@louiskirkham9845]

Hey James, took me a while to watch this video as I thought it was purely an ultra challenge - I'd have liked to see this in 2 videos but I can understand reasons it's not, and I recognised the metaphors. 100% in support of this content on the GTN channel. I can imagine the journey of needing, asking, admitting was very hard, even alien, so huge admiration for being able to get to a point where you can make a video like this. Well done for picking back up with the training/health/happiness and good luck with future attempts 😊

[@jimobrien919]

James, what you have done by telling your story is nothing short of incredible. As a 58 year old father of 2 (now grown) women and also married for 30 years, to say that I can relate is an understatement. I finally started dragging myself back into shape 10 years ago and am doing my first full Ironman in a week. Thank you for having the guts to open up and tell the raw, dark, painful story that so many of us men go through. Usually in silence. You have cracked the door open to let the light in and make others aware of what so many men deal with. Thank you from another James in California. BTW, I use Humango and love it!

[@LaFraiseSews]

Me: oh, I'll just watch a chill little video with lunch. Didn't realise I'll be crying during this lunchbreak. James, I'm glad you're feeling better, keep taking good care of yourself, this is so important. It's incredibly brave to share your story publicly, but worth it, as I'm sure many people in a similar position look up to you and will feel less alone watching this. A video that might literally save lives 🩷

[@BelindaHumphries]

Thank you so much for this comment! I’m glad you enjoyed it☺️

[@angel0fdeath667]

Probably the best GTN video for a while, speaking truth to everything that we all experience. The fact you didn’t finish is okay, you got out there and gave it your best crack. I’m sure we all know those struggles for sure and that adjustment to “normal” life is so hard

[@khazza930]

We all have have capacity to feel happy and sad... and depressed... regardless of how good or bad our lives are in general. You can't invalidate what someone is going through simply because "they have a good life". Know that we love you, James (in the weird way fans love people), and wish you all the best. It takes a lot of courage to come out and talk about something like this. It takes a lot of courage and effort to take action to work through it. Thank you for sharing. Keep it up

[@alansmith2593]

It’s difficult to find the words to describe how grateful I am for GTN and especially this video. I’ve had some very dark times these last few years to the point where I was sat in the floor at home calling the mental health professionals to explain that I’d had thoughts of suicide. Having this channel to turn to in my most lonely times and pick me up and give me focus and remind me to enjoy life and that we have the great outdoors and the sporting family is mega. Thankyou James and team.

[@michaelflanagan5066]

Wow, that took a lot of guts to deliver. Very proud of your honesty and putting yourself out there. As others have said, this is probably the best GTN video I have seen. “RUOK ?” Is extremely important for all, especially blokes. Congrats.

[@DavidTench0]

Little tear in my eye watching this. Same struggles, same age, similar scenario. Be strong, look for help (its there) and accept your situation.

[@adelesparke9516]

Thanks!

[@gtn]

Thank you very much for your support

[@mattkemp2749]

Powerful video, James, and that's nothing to do with the ultra. Know that countless men have been where you've been - me included - and this video will help everyone who sees it to know they're not the only one and that there is another way out.

[@marcuswills6569]

Huge respect James, this no doubt has resonated with so many people and fundamentally provides a clear picture of why so many us choose to exercise in whatever capacity.

[@jgduke63]

I takes a lot of courage to speak openly about the downs. I admire you James not only for your career as a triathlete or your job as presenter on GTN, but as a person as well. Wishing you all the best,m this is definitively one of the best videos GTN ever made, showing how life can hit somebody hard. Continue the tremendous work.

[@ConchFritterTime]

In the midst myself of a very real and almost measurable low spot. Equally surprised at how blessed my extraordinarily wonderful life somehow manages to put the same kind of weight on me that you expressed feeling. I have absolutely nothing, seemingly, to be “sad” about. And I am endlessly thankful for all the value in my life. Yet here I am, struggling to get up the smallest of maintains, ones I have historically climbed with vigor and talent. I was not expecting this from a character like you - someone oozing positivity, balance and humor. But thats the point, isn’t it? That the outside isn’t always the showpiece for what’s actually occurring inside. This helps. Helps me. Helps others. It’s human and healthy and beautiful, just like so many legs of our crazy athletic pursuits. A million thanks for making the trail not feel as lonely as it seems. Much love!

[@DavidFritzIII]

Holy sh.. James, it's crazy and unbelievable to think you were going through such difficult times. Obviously I only know you through the show, but you build a sort of preconceived notion as to how your online personality is, well just would have never expected what you're going through from what can be watched on KZbin. Regardless what you ever think, I want to say, you add value and joy to my life. Thank you for just being you!

[@mattreid859]

Hi James - seriously one of the most profoundly honest and moving accounts. You have to dig deep to get as far as you did in any run like that, but your self-expression on here is a way tougher achievement than it would have been crossing the finish line. I'm grateful for you sharing and judging from the comments so are many others. Trust me, having been spat out by many a race, the hills will always be there for another day and what matters most are the simple things like, for example, being a dad and a loving partner. You're good enough just the way you are. Go well 🙏

[@Ali_48z]

That video really hit home James. Thank you for having the guts to share that in public. It's all too easy (wrong word, but) to hide away and "hope" life improves. Now in my late 50s and picking up a few health issues and niggling injuries has meant a reassessment of my capabilities and what is and isn't sensible to try and achieve. After finally hitting my BQ back in April, I've now had 3 months with almost zero running (immediately following on from 15m no cycling from a farming-related shoulder injury). Getting back on the MTB at least now, but with numerous other "life issues these past couple of years, I understand completely how disheartening loss of fitness can be (even though we are on two very different levels). Again, thanks for the share; that helps many of us I suspect in similar ruts.

[@innesdunbar]

Of all the different races and achievements in your career James, this one video may be one of the most important things you have done. Being so honest and open most likely will help someone out there, it may just be what someone needs to reach out to get some help. I think the most important thing that you put across that just because you have everything lined up and everything looks sorted out, you still needed help. Just because someone's life isn't a car crash around them, they may also may need help and seeing someone else reach out for help and for it to make a difference, may just give them the confidence to seek the help they need. It's easy for channels to throw about some buzz words about mental health, but good on you GTN for putting out a well thought out, honest video that most likely will really help someone. Take care James, being able to process the DNF looks like things are getting much better, looked like a tough race as well.

[@jamescunnamaGTN]

Thank you!

[@davidhaywood8961]

Maybe one of the best GTN videos. As someone who suffers from depression. Triathlon was definitely my savior years ago. Still get the bad times every now and then. Just keep moving forward and setting them goals and it always gets better

[@nickmallett7391]

Great video James and well done for putting yourself out there as society needs more open discussion relating to mens mental health. It is very easy for somebody to lose any purpose in life and without "purpose" you are just marking time and there is really no perceivable point to life. I have documented my personal struggle via blogs during my bike tours and triathlons for decades and have said publicly that one day, I will go by the "way of the elephant" and that is to ride off into the wilderness for my final ride and end my life quietly where I won't bother anyone and where I won't be found. I have accepted that reality and actively speak to other troubled souls and more importantly their friends and families about why it is our minds sometimes operate in an altered reality where checking out seems the best option. Hearing the struggle from someone who is living it helps and I'll continue to do share my experiences until my time comes and that time is approaching. All the best to you and your family and keep talking openly as you will do so much good for those who don't have the courage to.

[@TheFinav]

It matters not a jot that you didn't complete the challenge this time. What matters is that you gave it a serious shot. That's inspiring all by itself. Best wishes from Switzerland.

[@sebastienbrochard9812]

Hit a cord as I lost my Dad, 11 years ago now ... I can't say I understand what people go through, I certainly know how helpless one can feel seeing a loved one struggling. Superb video!

[@DaveGayer]

Full respect James, I have been in the military over 25 years and have suffered from PTSD, to get me by I keep trying to set myself small goals, At the moment I’m doing a personal challenge 5 km a day for October.

[@MR-wh5wp]

Can relate. Im onto my 16th stress fracture. I've had a lot of success in the sport but it has broken my heart over and over and over again. Sometimes I just want the physical and mental paim to just end. I question why I keep contuining on, but nothing gives me greater purpose in life than endurance sport. It helps me to feel proud of myself. Without it, i feel worthless, hopeless, weak. But we will always heal mentally and physically. Just need to keep moving forward ❤

[@JimmysGarden]

Well done James, when I don't finish my severely disabled son always tells me "you did try".

[@jjcsantanna]

Thank you for sharing James! Like you, I had two kids during the pandemic, my wife got postpartum depression, a friend died, my father died, my grandma died, and when I thought life was getting in the right place I lost myself! It is good to tell that after a year I’m rediscovering myself! I’m not 100% but life is never 100%! Keep going man! Lots of strength to you and your family

[@wtargentina]

Hey James - thanks for the very honest video - I hope it was cathartic to make. 79km is stil pretty awesome, and some challenges are not meant to be overcome at the time; and can often be more rewarding in hingsight. When things are crappy try to remember "this too shall pass". All the very best. wt.

[@georgeparker1429]

Heroic to share all of this!

[@henrycruickshank7884]

Thank you for making this video and being so honest. Although never pro or even close, your story echo's mine so closely. Fell into being full time dad, and loved it but lost so much of me along the way, especially fitness, to a point when I didn't feel like me. Depression hit me hard. And knew fitness was the way out but endless up's and down and set backs just pushed me further back into the hole. I would look at pictures of myself years ago and cry, I hid all my medals because they too made me feel terrible. When hit total rock bottom I worked out how to find some peace and space. I lost a lot along the way, but still have my kids, dog and fitness is almost there. When it all comes together, fitness wise, it's like I have hit 88MPH and I am transported back in time to where everything makes sense. Thank you so much for making such a thought provoking video and good luck.

[@craigalers4341]

Thanks James! This is an important message that will resonate with many endurance athletes. It meant a lot to me, appreciate the honesty and courage!

[@OllieBridgewood]

The best GTN video ever. Everyone should watch this ❤

[@BelindaHumphries]

Thanks Ollie 🥳🥳

[@markhansen4301]

Thank you James and GTN for this video. Thank you if not for anything else than for reminding me I'm not alone. This video touched a little closer to home then I'd probably like to admit. Thank you James for being brave, not only for yourself but for all of us.

[@Triathletforlife]

I’m 43, I can relate to everything you said. I’ve struggled big time with the ups and downs of training, raising a family, loving my beautiful wife, working my job and staying on top of my Ironman training. Ive cried many tears feeling lost , not good enough, not fast enough and not disciplined enough. Thank you for this , you’re a good man!

[@conradburdekin722]

I absolutely loved watching this. Especially as I love running, my mum is South African, I’m a twin, I have 3 kids, and my wife is a therapist!

[@benrobinson4495]

Thanks James for the honest video. I'm sure there are plenty in the audience that need to know they are not alone in having those thoughts. Keep on, keeping on!

[@dalchin3210]

Thanks for sharing your deeply personal journey James. I hope you don't mind,but if I see you in Kona, you're probably going to get a hug.

[@EXFElectrician]

Hi James, it can be so difficult to open up to your loved ones, especially when they are going through the same thing. Thank you for sharing. I had same experience when leaving the Military. I found your channel then it Give me that drive to get back out there and I attempt my first Ironman this year which much like yourself didn’t go to plan. But back on it Keep Smiling

[@lcre0002]

Probably the best GTN video ever, period. Why? It deals with the darker, less glamours aspect of middle aged athletes. Often overlooked; but most certainty present. Respect to James for sharing his feelings with the viewers 👏 👏 👏

[@peterliljebladh]

This is why I love the outdoors and exercise so much. The absolutely best way to overcome your inner ghosts is to release them as far away from your front door as possible so that they never find their way back. Thank you for your honesty.

[@simonmarsh8581]

Incredibly brave admissions to share, which I'm sure you and Jodie wrestled with putting out there. As comments testify, this has inevitably helped many people, many of whom won't have commented but will have taken aspiration

[@cbeats1715]

Dear James. Thank you. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these kinds of issues, and for way too many men they simply lose that battle. It is really encouraging that your fitness goals are so intertwined with your mental health. Since Covid lockdowns I went from being gym member that barely ever actually went to recently coming 4th in a local marathon and aiming for my first Ironman next year. If I didn't focus on my physical health my mental health would have also deteriorated beyond repair. I always enjoyed watching GTN and it is good to know you guys are also human. Good luck to you and your beautiful family, you're going to smash the next one and the ones after that. Cheers, Chris.

[@fitnessresolved7373]

Great video, thank you James for you honesty, it means so much. Your daughter giving you a cuddle, the cutest.

[@rt6920]

This is a refreshingly honest video! In 12 days, I'll be lining up at the start line in Kona. However, around the same age as you, I was physically shattered, mentally burnt, and spiritually bankrupt from my corporate career. I went through an experience similar to yours. I honestly couldn't answer the same question the therapist asked you. It was too confronting. As part of coming out of that deep, dark place, my good friend introduced me to triathlon. The problem was that I had no background in the three disciplines. Nevertheless, the triathlon gave me a sense of purpose and meaning in my life. From where I started as an overweight guy to qualifying to race on the sacred land of Kona, it feels surreal. It took years of hard work as an age-group athlete. A genuinely humbling journey that kept me grounded. Well done, James. You are indeed a courageous man. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@rastus21]

Thank you James, I need to exercise everyday to keep smiling. Some family don't realise how important it is for my own mental health. Keep up the fight ❤

[@rossblezard574]

Thank you guys for sharing so much in recent videos, it really adds another dimension to GCN. Everything James talks about resonates hugely. It is some weird paradox, and one few people can understand, that people, specifcally men with "amazing lives" can deep down be so depressed and not show a glimmer to the outside world. However talking about it and raising awareness is really positives... also its was suprisingly effective marketting as I just signed up to humango! Hope you are in a good place James!

[@karlbratby4349]

Thanks james… seems so many of us are in the same boat after reading some of the comments ❤❤

[@fellrunner1975]

Thank you so much for this film. I certainly resonate with it. I’ve had a shit year with illness and injury and feel like I’ve lost my identity. I’ve had some very dark times too, and thoughts that I’ve never had before. This is inspiring, stay strong 💪🏻

[@hollyandersen9394]

Thank you for your bravery, strength, and vulnerability in sharing. Your words and actions are appreciated.

[@DP-sh3nk]

Wow, I hear you, I mean truly. As someone who is in their middle 50s sole provider. first world problems as you said, but that and just current dynamics of our world my mind has definitely gone to some dark places. I love triathlon, but I also know it’s often an escape . Thank you for sharing. Truly impactful and appreciated.

[@willfromfreeport]

Sharing the pics/videos with the kiddos is my favorite part of racing. You rock, James! Thank you for everything you do!

[@anolan8033]

Dude, I am officially a James fan! Did I just tear up during a GTN video? Thanks for speaking for all of us. The truth is we all experience those dark moments. I totally related to a lot of what you said. You’re not alone, brother. Thank you for your candor. Looking forward to many more videos from you.

[@winklertribe5268]

Thank you James and GTN for making this video!

[@gtn]

Thank you for the support!

[@wesleyjacobsjr4001]

One of the best Videos I am a week out from my first 70.3. At 42 years old this was so relatable. I am right there with you. Keep up with the great content.

[@rossanaulloam]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! Last year, I was really really down and stuck in my head, until one morning I woke up and was like, “I’m doing an Ironman” (having never done a Triathlon before 🥲). I didn’t know why at the time, but looking back, I realized I needed to turn all that mental pain into something physical. I can’t even express how much GTN helped during that time. I spent every free moment watching your videos and started feeling genuinely happy again. You did that! Even through your own challenges, you’ve been a source of light for others. I’m wishing you strength and peace in your own journey!

[@rmeste]

So much emotion into a single video...Thank you James for the sharing, hope it will help others to talk and realise that sometime you may find some light, even when you think you are tied to darkness. 🥺 Even a DNF cann bring internal peace, as long as you find your own peace.

[@Bart9754321]

James, I like others will recognise the challenges you have faced, including me. You’re not alone and shouldn’t be when life gets tough. So good that you can talk about it, I’m sure this video will have a positive impact on others. Stay strong.

[@pjlehtim]

Thank you for sharing. It must have been a difficult video to make. I've gone through similar mental health issues and similarly found running long distances pulling me out of the darkest place. The idea of feeling guilty of feeling so bad despite living a very privileged life compared to the massive amount of suffering in the world is difficult to overcome. I went to hug my kids after watching this. Also, James, many of the videos on GTN, many of which you have been part of making, have been a big part of me starting regular running as a mental health cure. Thank you!

[@kaywalsh5560]

Thanks so much for sharing your battles James, For helping to tackle the stigma around mental health and depression. You’re a champ. I am sorry you ended up in this dark place but so relieved you have navigated your way out. I had a serious bout of clinical depression in my early 20s and hope never to end up in that place again. We really miss being able to pop around to visit you and your beautiful family here in Stellies and think of you often when we drive down the jonkershoek road. Sending lots of love to you all. Xx

[@orangetwelve3462]

James, hats off to you for being so open about your struggles and not mincing your words about suicidal ideation. This will help others! All the best to you and your family!

[@markusmichalowski2054]

What a massive achievement! Thank you James, I work as a clinical psychologist and you sharing your experience will help so many people. While it might have been frustrating for you not to finish it is all the more relatable and valuable for those struggling. Thank you!

[@danmckenzie5395]

Really appreciate the general meager of this video but even more I really appreciate getting to see james the human and not just the athlete. It takes a big person to be that expressed and I give you kudos for being willing to be in that situation to act as a guide for us.

[@TheSgkerr123]

I have struggled with mental health all of my life. Without exercise, I feel lost, I need a purpose. I have learnt this over time. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work.

[@shorterdanny]

strong effort James, think all of us 40 somethings can relate to this. Takes a big man to admit it and an even bigger one to do it in front of a audience like GTN.. Keep it up if you can help just one person with this video then its a mega success..

[@travisgraham2906]

Thank you James! Your courage and vulnerability really cut through. Your best video to date and one that I really relate to. No failure is worse than the failure to hope. Here's to the next big hairy audacious challenge 🫸🫷 And just a general shout out to the whole GTN team. Thank you for all the years of awesome content. For the practical, the fun, and like this, for the truly inspiring.

[@peterking9139]

Dear James, I admired you as a pro when I first got into triathlon, I admired you and the family for such a massive relocation from SA and this brave, thought provoking and very honest video brings further admiration. Continue to be strong on your journey and enjoy the support and friendships you clearly have around you.

[@craig.a.murphy]

Beautifully done. Obviously have never crossed paths with you but your openness makes you very relatable. I’m an Army Physical Therapist, currently deployed and have travelled through some deep spots myself. We are all fighting battles that you can’t see from the outside - thank you for making that point so eloquently in your video! Peace!

[@pierregranet]

James, that was such a great video. I really appreciated it because like many others, I'm struggling with depression even if I've a lot of things to be happy. That was very courageous from you to be so opened on your situation. Congratulations 👏

[@chuckmccracken4136]

James, thank you for your courage in sharing your struggles. I assure you you are not alone. Many of us have the same struggles you shared. I pray that you will find balance and joy in your life. As a 66 yo grandfather and athlete on the other end of raising my children, I applaud your introspection and honest evaluation, and I wish you all the best as you find balance and stability in your life. Be assured that there are many of us who care about you and your coworkers. We appreciate you guys as people and not just for the great content you produce. Love you guys.❤

[@tool3833]

Going back over the detail of those dark times took some serious courage James. You have done a great thing here. A long time ago, I lost a friend to depression, and very nearly lost my wife to it as well, it was a close thing. I've seen the journey she chose to make, when she chose to live, and it was brutal. I'm sure yours was too. You made a courageous decision there. I'm not sure where you are at, but I can tell you that with persistence you can find peace. I don't think it ever completly goes away, but you can be at peace almost all of the time.