Guinness Book of Records - Derek and Clive

[@darklordzden]

"I said 'Dolly, you've tested my patience in the past...'" I remember when I first heard this as a schoolboy. Talk about a defining moment in life. Still has me in tears of laughter all these years later.

[@pix046]

"I said 'Dolly, you've tested me in the past...'"

[@nicksully6663]

Looooool

[@stuartlathey4990]

Absolutely hilarious. Two incredibly funny and much missed people. I bet they are entertaining the other sinners and can't wait to go to hell to see them!!!

[@redmercury77]

It was about 1979/80, I was “9 years old” at the time when my brother and I would secretly listen to my dads collection of Derek & Clive records and cassettes when we went up to bed (volume turned down of course)... I never laughed so much in my life since. Coarse language but completely harmless comedy. Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were just comedy gold.

[@jackjohnson2775]

Hearing this as a teenager in the early 90s had a big impact on my life... when I get out in a few years, I'll pay homage to Dolly and all who sailed in her!

[@chapster6273]

Yeah, Dolly, didn't help out because she was busy with important things that truly matter. What a world class kunt , greatest in recorded history, and you married her, for four teen years.

[@DrSimonBignell]

This is the reason I became a Psychologist. Wonderful.

[@kikque]

"Broke me foot and scuffed me Kickers.........."XD One of my favourite Derek and Clive bits from "get the horn" film. Two fellas I'd have loved to have met. Peter Cook was a genius and Dudley Moore had bags of talent...A great partnership sadly missed.

[@shepp65]

the world needs more pete and dud. comic genius in the filthiest sense

[@philsmith6466]

As a student in the late 80s we would stumble home in the early hours, crack open awful Home Brew and listen to Derek & Clive until dawn We are all Captains of industry now

[@MartinR1_91]

We"d struggle home, unwrap terrible crack, smoke it and then at dawn we'd make a special brew with no milk or sugar but we'd still listen to Derek and Clive until the electric ran out

[@shamrocker67]

This never ever gets old

[@harleybraylon5602]

I guess I am kinda randomly asking but does anybody know of a good place to stream newly released series online?

[@elishavincenzo1833]

@Harley Braylon I use flixzone. You can find it by googling :)

[@oakleyjensen6172]

@Elisha Vincenzo Yup, I have been using FlixZone for since april myself =)

[@harleybraylon5602]

@Elisha Vincenzo Thank you, I went there and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :D Appreciate it !!

[@elishavincenzo1833]

@Harley Braylon Glad I could help :)

[@kathleencreamer6648]

Finally seeing this makes me truly understand how brilliant Rhys Ifans was in his portrayal of Peter Cook...like he was born to play him.

[@fin3590]

I remember reading tragically I was an only twin (a book full of petter cooks best material) at school, with one of my friends whilst we had tutor and were supposed to be reading in silence. But we were reading it out loud with the accents and we and all our mates were in tears when, especially when I shouted “Lobsters up her bum” 😂😂😂😂

[@johnnytungsong8719]

Funny how I can remember this from 45 years ago, along with all their other bizarre yet totally hilarious, original and best of all, ‘rude’ sketches! To this day, whenever I meet up with my mate, Frank, who introduced me to D&C, we always end up saying…’I’m Alfie Noakes….etc, etc’. Priceless!

[@nicksully6663]

Fucking hilarious. The type of comedy which doesn't age.

[@suzbailey23]

You can't afford to let your bogey sag. Words to live by, truly.

[@garyturner5739]

The greatest philosophy said by anybody today.

[@EmilyCarneySpaceflight]

Am laughing so hard I'm in AGONY. RIP Peter and Dudley

[@wayne_twentyfive]

Magnificent ! ... No one tells a story like these 2 legends ... have all their Derek & Clive records, but great to see the live footage. ... Wayne

[@michaelcrowe]

What a last line! Amazing, horrific, wonderful.

[@ajk1989]

Hahahahaha! My god this is brilliant... "I don't feel like being fucked to death by a fucking hampster" "Who said you did?" genius...

[@creativegoth]

Still makes me laugh out loud..

[@09nob]

Best skit ever.

[@aldershot5100]

It was incredible what came out of Cooks Brain.

[@mjh5437]

Particularly so years before this in his youth before the booze took him.

[@ashleyhoward8926]

Snot, mainly.

[@LiamTheGreat]

I remember hearing this for the first time with a mate of mine. We were both 14 at the time and this sketch shock our world

[@tomes55moon]

literally. the funniest thing i've ever seen

[@mrbret]

True classics. You gotta love them.

[@motleyhar]

Wow... this was really forward and advanced. This of the time... good stuff!

[@Danechip]

Great Video. Nice work !!!!

[@invertedchords]

this is very funny. Derek and clive are hilarious

[@kssykssygg]

I'm not really into this kind of humor but that was hilarious. I really found two great comedians when I found Pete and Dud. I love how Dudley's voice kinda breaks at 2:48. I think I really am in love with them.

[@wayne_twentyfive]

@fundakok ... My brother and I still reel off lines to each other from D&C, and do the accents as well as we can for a couple of Aussie guys. We also do the same with Monty Python ... That sort of stuff will always be funny to us. Cheers, and thanks for your comment. Wayne

[@bigpete111100]

'Think of the poor fucking hamsters who are gonna come back as you' lol

[@shorelineboy]

I'm stilllaughing , absolutely brilliant

[@Nhnhnfk]

0:49 why does he always get Dudley just as he's eating something

[@Andybaby]

3:38 What happened to "I put my hob nailed boots on"?!?!

[@denmachan]

I wondered the same!

[@ashleyhoward8926]

One concurs wholeheartedly.

[@renzo7575]

i love it when dudley gets angry! hes so cute!

[@paulway9926]

Just class boy's, love it.

[@bigleonard1984]

I remember when I was about eighteen this was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. I don't see it at all now. Not that I think that devalues it. making an eighteen year old laugh is just as valid as making a thirty year old laugh.

[@krustysock8611]

+bigleonard1984 You lost the child within, how sad for you.

[@jackjohnson2775]

Cancer?

[@mjh5437]

@@jackjohnson2775 lol!!

[@markhartfield8186]

I nearly died so many times listening to these two that I genuinely considered prosecution.

[@garyturner5739]

This is reminds me of what Mel Smith said of Peter's humour in tv interview 'he was laugh getter and he didn't mind how he got it.'

[@timothy790110]

3:38 Im pretty sure, in the record Cook also says "and I put my huge grape nail shoes on" or something similar. can anyone verify?

[@pradolover]

Yes I remember that too!

[@mjh5437]

"Hobnail boots" I think.

[@merlin5476]

Very odd that the least offencive bit was cut out !!! It was " my size 10 hobnail boots on"..... I also noticed that on Cd version of Derek & Clive live at the end of Dud's little tune " Jump" they cut out the punch line by Pete " Thank you The Reverend Ike" .

[@Shaun-w9f]

Cooke was crazy as fuck

[@makkamccann]

Absolute comedy classic!!!

[@DaveThompsonfairlife4all]

It's weird they cut that out, like it was going to make any difference! It's OK to kick her in the privates for half an hour, but not with huge nailed boots? If this video was released today, I would expect Cook to get into serious trouble over it.

[@vernonhedge4530]

No, his editor, Ian Hislop, is on the PC side of the culture war right now. It would be ignored

[@steveforest8385]

It would never get past the cutting room.

[@ThePaulv12]

Yeah the Blu-Tack from Woolworth's is missing too.

[@squeatley]

Stuff legends are made from. And sadly no longer with us.

[@danxl5]

Same, SO AWSOME!

[@daveandbear6676]

fabulous

[@DrSimonBignell]

Absolutely genius.

[@JimmyGuitarist]

“Think of the poor fuckin hamsters”. Brilliant.

[@Arrested101]

@LillabetteHane The "rushes" refer to the unedited footage of TV/film that has been filmed.

[@pix046]

Fucking brilliant.

[@todd6ishop]

ooooh Dolly, you've tested me in the past...

[@andrewmorton3344]

The life of Peter Cook is full of stuff we would love to have been on camera and stuff we would love to have been edited out. This sketch falls into the later category.

[@smokethepancakes]

pure genius

[@aethelwulf8753]

Genius

[@clash84]

Fucking legends

[@friendofsgran]

My dad's got the album of this

[@davidbayly1]

3.24 "Shall I tell you what I"m going to do now"?!

[@01tony]

mad.....i love it

[@Drifter1981-x7p]

legends

[@bananaman17]

Rumour has it that Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington starring ricky gervais show is intentionally a mere copy of Derek and Clive, but without the copywrite infringments. Both are darn funny nonetheless.

[@themorganator]

Fan bloody tastic!

[@Helsingfors]

Fucking tape still being fucking played ain't it?!

[@farswept]

"Think of the poor fucking hamsters that are going to come back as you" - this line makes clear to me the reason of Stephen Fry's estimation of Peter Cook as the funniest sentient being in the totality of time-space. Absolutely dominating Dudley Moore's slightly mediocre attempt.

[@PhoenixWright101]

I think it should be viewed less as a competition, more like they compliment each other. It's the interplay between the two of them that made them so funny, and kind of irrelevant which one was most inventive on his own.

[@jackjohnson2775]

PhoenixWright101 The 'competition' became quite dark and vicious towards the end of Derek and Clive...it was very much survival of the fittest...and Dudley unfortunately came second.

[@gavinaustin4474]

In this case (and most others), yes, that's true. An exception, in my opinion, is 'This bloke came up to me'. For me personally, Dudley's contribution is hilarious. By contrast, I don't find Peter's contribution to that particular exchange funny at all. Dudley had his moments.

[@thebaconcruesader]

"the chain broke" "AHH FACK!" XD

[@VeEmCe]

In The Cubicles, from Come Again, I do believe. A classic purely due to the amount of abuse Pete gives Dud at the end, they just swear and shout at eachother for minutes.

[@mjh5437]

"In The Lav" with "The Attendant"

[@dorotttta]

do someone know where I can find lyric for this song?:)

[@zxingzxing]

" Not everybodies cup of tea " ~ 'Neville'

[@paul280272]

how dare she do that to you...my mate xD

[@stevengallagher2250]

Dolly😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😁😁

[@johnnyenfield2648]

laugh,i nearly shat

[@gummybits]

I haven't laughed so much since aunt Mabel got her left tit caught in the mangle

[@Bravva218]

Legends! They do give me a horn!!!!

[@aldershot5100]

Carried away by 3 2 1 🤣

[@gashalasha7]

you've tested me in the past! hahahaha

[@mr4nders0n]

@airheadstudios similar thing 'appened to me, 'cept mine stopped bleeding :->

[@GlenyD]

Too right! Horne and Corden are the most wildly over-rated piles of shit ever. It has to be said - and I'm glad you have!

[@mjh5437]

I can`t stand Corden....he`s like a gushing schoolgirl who just got given a pony for her birthday.

[@kellyb0279]

0:49 😂😂

[@MillwallOlly]

Broke me foot and scuffed me kickers

[@333baast333]

LMAO..same here!..but it's so f* funny.

[@1980Sarah1]

Dark.

[@johannamix966]

Robbie Gregory and extraordinarily fu Fu funny!! Lobsters! Gotta go

[@tsaxondale2499]

Think of the poor f-ing hamster who's gonna come back as you

[@MartinR1_91]

Possibly the most misogynistic free association in existence, since records began even. Scuffed his shoes and broke his foot I can only listen for about ten minutes before i have to call an ambulance these days. Its a young man's game Oh such memories .......

[@fayezfaye]

this is by far my favourite Derek and Clive sketch, Peter Cook = God of Satire Faeden, ha, calling the angels wankers, i really do hope there's such a place as heaven, just so that statement can be true.

[@kadeee1000]

Clive says,,and I spread her legs apart..... below is whats next ,,and that's whats been Censored Out!! ''and I put my huge Great Nailed Shoes on",

[@vernonhedge4530]

I am *so* glad they deleted that bit, that was going too far. I could really enjoy this scene without the need for that sort of gratuitous hatred.

[@kernzyp]

@@vernonhedge4530 lmao!! It was cut for sure.

[@mjh5437]

@@kernzyp "Hobnail boots" wasn`t it?

[@mjh5437]

@@vernonhedge4530 There`s far far more gratuitous things in the DVD than that!!

[@kernzyp]

@@mjh5437 HUGE hobnail boots! :D Indeed, there was far worse, which is what made the young ones famous. Harmless, really. Ficticious characters. When Dudley sings the "Mum" song, Peter gets so angry and just screams "CUNT!", hilarious ;)

[@kadeee1000]

ahhhhhhhhh yes ,,,,Censorship,,,at 3:38... I guess what Peter Cook actually said after 3:38..was to much for KZbin so it was removed......

[@KairuHakubi]

Thi sis hilarious, but what keeps bothering me is.. what does a sneeze have to do with mucus buildup? XD he shouldve said blowing-his-nose..

[@ivor1977]

how dare she do that to you!! my mate!!!

[@KevinReynolds-q4k]

roy and hg is the G rated version but D&C are the funniest blokes ever in front of microphone 🎤

[@Blahblahblah-k8w]

No doubt that if there is a God and,or Heaven they will be there.I am a Hamster and I would'nt mind Knobbing Dudley!XOX PEACE

[@fizzy49cc]

hanky n that

[@GaryLDN]

u know whats going to happen when we get to heavn ...

[@Noid111]

"You have tested me in the past...". Every man in a relationship.

[@mr4nders0n]

@vivascargill u mean he was pissing his sides, cos he owed the CANT a fiver ?!

[@stuartliddle7228]

"is that awlll?"

[@lagathy]

DOLLY

[@flappospammo]

jerry sadowitz follow this

[@twigthewonderkid1]

jerry sadovic

[@mortallious1234]

This is older than some of Gary Glitters, Gary Glitters. Pucker and wince. It was funnier before I wrote it, in my head like.

[@rambr0vids]

Hil-fucking-arious

[@markhartfield8186]

I think cancer of the wife tipped me over the edge.

[@invertedchords]

Correction... Chris Morris is the god of satire.

[@frflinstone]

If you want to get rid of a woman for any reason just stick this on, guaranteed !

[@vanvilet1]

Or the vicar

[@frflinstone]

@@vanvilet1 Or the vicar's missus !

[@mjh5437]

I usually just strangle them instead....far quieter I find.

[@flappospammo]

derek n clive rule ok ?

[@merrett]

Hahahahahhaha