GUTTED!!! - Voice Coach/ Opera Singer FIRST TIME Reaction to REN & CHINCHILLA - How to Be Me Live.

[@MikaelLundin-x3c]

I find this even harder knowing Ren is struggling right now. Thank you for your honest reaction.

[@thanossnap4170]

His recent post about asking for people to give him hope.... i was so floored, i couldn't breathe. The man who has given so much love, needing it so bad now. I'm not religious at all, but i might pray for Ren.

[@staceyjayneplatt9527]

@@thanossnap4170I know reading that just breaks my heart and I had to stop what I was doing for a while to pray for him and send him hope. We need to give him HOPE ❤️🇬🇧🇺🇸🫶🏻🫶🏻 Nikolette you are an Earth Angel 😇

[@maurylehane5059]

@@thanossnap4170 I missed stuff, whats going on with ren ?

[@playinggames4u364]

@@maurylehane5059 He's struggling with his health issues real bad. He had a relapse with his Lyme disease and infection due to Bartonella, he's really having a rough awful time right now. It's been going on for at least a couple of weeks.

[@myst0307]

@@maurylehane5059 Relapse with Lyme Disease issues.

[@JustaGuy2.0]

"Suicide" and "Dominoes" are other really amazing, sad and cathartic Ren songs, but remember to bring tissues...lots and lots of tissues.

[@carolperim1675]

OMG YESSSSSS!!!!! Dominoes is my favorite!!!!

[@akakiospelekanos7637]

Dominoes is a MUST song for every woman in the entire WORLD!

[@nuniko117]

suic*de is one that i would also say is rather heavy but beautiful song and really sad

[@ajpekarek3762]

I always put "Depression" and that certain version of "Freckled Angels" in with this group of heavy hitters as well.

[@andrewrobinson-morris1852]

One on the reasons I really like for Joe , is that it’s a mash up of critical parts of each of them. That said I do love them in their own right

[@tjh5716]

Love you Ren. I’m alive because of you.

[@hooflungpoo700]

You're alive because of you 💪 keep pushing through

[@tjh5716]

@ ❤️❤️❤️

[@StevenJago-j2y]

@@hooflungpoo700great shout mate. 😢

[@stacie9229]

Nicole, I cried right along with you here. I've had health struggles since my equestrian accident and unexpected issues after it that cost me my beloved ER job, inability to ride anymore (my lifelong identity) and yes...be ME. I felt angry & betrayed by my faith, and somewhat reckless since Ive begun to "dig out" - which was inspired by Ren himself. When I allow myself to look back at those feelings, it's like ripping open the wounds all over again. This reaction meant so much to me. I don't feel so alone. Stacie from Boston

[@ZephyrsLoki]

I'm so sorry Stacie!! I feel your pain!! I rode for 11 years, and I worked in the OR until I was too sick to work. Hugs, my sister!! 💜

[@nickgreig997]

It's great isn't it. 15 seconds in (ignoring the intro) you are perfectly poised, held and contained. By the end, like most of us, you are emotionally shredded, torn and raw. And God damn.. is this not how music and empathy should make us feel? Thanks as always for a great reaction ❤

[@danielmoore9071]

I'm a recovering alcoholic. The line 'I forgot how to be me' hits so hard. I've forgotten how to feel anything, but I'm getting better. Ren hurts so much, but I need to feel again. He's healing me. Get well soon my friend.

[@k0vert]

Me too man, you're not alone, I Will Not Drink With You Today

[@shelleynull6532]

I don't worry I'm a part time Alcoholic lol meaning be been drinking regularly this year as a stress relief.... could I stoop if I was told I have to? Yes but would I want to? Probably not. Unimaginative stress does crazy shit to you. I've given myself the year to so whatever you need to to survive then I will need to pull back the reigns

[@nostalji93]

@@shelleynull6532 Brother relying on alcohol or other drugs to regulate stress is a direct road to addiction. Please take care of yourself! There was a dude in you who could deal with stress and everything life threw at him without numbing himself. Find him again!

[@ao3300]

Oh my dude i know what you mean. I am about 10 years sober now. And yes it gets better, but a part of you ist lost when the past you practically only existed in a drunk state. But it is ok. Some things must be lost in order to obtain new ones. There will be times when you will feel small, insecure and weak. Whenever i felt that way i would say to myself out loud: " I am strong, i am not weak. I move forward, always forward, never back down. Never again." I would chant those words as often as it took for me to believe them. And that is the only secret there is to changing yourself. Believing. Not for others but for yourself. Stay strong, if i could make it so can you.

[@VictoriaDuncan-mq7zu]

Me too! Of all songs as a recovering person this is the one that strikes most to the core of the issue for me. Ren has been part of my “work” in recovery.

[@johnplaysgames3120]

I take the "Or do sad eyes blind me?" as the second half of the question he starts in the previous line. After talking about his kingdom turning to dust and watching all his riches rust, he asks "Have I lost the Midas touch?" -- i.e. have I lost my luck, my ability to turn everything to gold -- but then wonders "or do sad eyes blind me?" In other words, "Have I really lost everything, or do I just **feel like** I lost everything because I'm sad/depressed/whatever. When I'm looking at the world through a veil of tears, am I seeing it as it truly is, or is my perception of it colored by my emotion? I think it also adds to your understanding of Ren's questions about losing everything when you know that he was signed to Sony when he was, like, 19 or 20 but then was dropped by the label after he got sick bc he couldn't finish the album, tour, do promo etc. And the same year that he was signed to Sony, 2010, is also the year that his friend, Joe, jumped from that bridge. Then another childhood friend, Callum, also took his own life in 2011. By 2013, Ren had been officially dropped by Sony, his band (Trick The Fox) broke up, and he was bedridden. So, as you can imagine, this song is from the point of view of a young musician who, during a meteoric rise, had to feel like he was living the dream but then, suddenly, over the course of just a couple of years, everything was pulled out from under him and he began his nearly 10 year ordeal of severe illness, misdiagnoses, wrong medications, etc.

[@CactuSoul]

Callum did not take his own life on purpose like Joe, he just tried to save a man from drowning and unfortunately they both drowned.

[@Shiroar]

No one shows vulnerability like Ren 😢 I highly recommend checking out the following songs in order of release: Freckled Angels, Suic!de, and For Joe. Ren is truly a master at channeling his emotions into beautiful music 🖤🐰🕳️

[@Tearnofear]

imho Mackay is missing in this List :)

[@Harbor-S]

Totally concur with everything here.

[@andrewrobinson-morris1852]

Thank for such a tasteful “surprise “. It was beautiful. 2nd don’t ever apologise for your faith . It’s important to you and we should respect that. This really opens the door to Suicide and for Joe. I find that these take the emotions to a level that how to be me only just touches on. Definitely ones to do one your own

[@DandelionCollab]

I've watched this song a couple of hundred times. Watching it all the way through with you hits me like the beginning again. Exquisite pain.

[@gletski7591]

Feel that emotion 🤗

[@lucygonzalez-zo5nz]

This reaction gutted me. I wanted to hug you so many times. You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with all of us. I know this reaction will help so many people going through challenging times. You have a such a beautiful gift to connect with people through your reactions. I subbed after just watching one of your reactions because you are so genuine. The reaction community is blessed to have you Nikoletta. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Edit: The ending was incredible. Your voice is so angelic ❤

[@TwinkleToestheBerserker]

I'm glad you didn't do this live. Better for you, and this reaction was so raw and visceral and beautiful. I think some of that would have been lost with an audience. Thank you, and your surprise was gorgeous and haunting

[@NikolettaOfficial]

Thank you:)

[@DyvmSlorm]

I imagine life as a pond. We are all pebbles being thrown in and making ripples. Those ripples expand and contact other peoples ripples. Those closest to us get the largest ripple effect from us but even the distant ripples can have a profound effect. A forced smile at your barista in the morning might turn a dark thought of theirs into a light thought. When we cease to be, our pebble sinks but our ripples continue to spread. We don’t produce new ones though. Many depressed people think those closest to them would be better with their ripples subsiding. That is not true. Those friends will sorely miss any new ripples and, as important, those distant ripples fall off even faster. Our absence creates disharmony not harmony. Ren, realizing this disharmony through Joe’s sacrifice, is why, I believe, Ren is still with us, even through the hell he has been through.

[@NikolettaOfficial]

This was beautifully written. We never know what others are going through, that is why even a simple complement saying “I like you dress” or as you said “smiling at a barista” can go a long way. Longer than most realize. Thank you for this and thank you for your donation 🥹

[@gletski7591]

I've watched people react to this song and both artists maybe a100 times.. Still tear up.. Damn you Ren ❤😢

[@BLIND82]

Alyssa Milano has just recently discovered Ren and has shouted him out on how amazing he his! Beautiful reaction Nikoletta 💙

[@claretlake]

Beautiful reaction to a stunning performance 🙏❤️

[@K8TDidToo]

Sorrow. It's about sorrow. Sorrow that suffocates you and makes you fear that nothing will ever feel the same again. Seeing the faces of those you've lost all around you - wanting peace but afraid to let them go.

[@kalenaquinones7963]

This song always makes me cry. Ren is going through such a difficult time right now, a set back in his health and well being. Praying for his recovery.

[@leonbond9275]

Ren and Chincilla together are a powerful pairing with the power and synergy to evoke the most visceral responses from the human condition. Your empathic response was truly beautiful. Thank you xxx

[@jwtsongaelking]

Oh yeah! I love when I see Chinchilla in this Channel ! Hope to see more!👍🏽

[@Lou-xq9br]

Only way I can describe this one every single time I hear this is beautifully haunting 🩷

[@Gordon-s9s]

I liked the fact you felt compelled to let the track play and soak in them feels, deep 👍

[@marianneszijj]

It takes a lot of courage to share personal stories in such s public platform and react to Ren’s raw, provocative music with camera on you. Like Ren, you are helping others who may feel alone in their struggles. Then you had the nerve to skillfully add your voice and take such a perfect song to a whole new emotional and operatic height. Kudos to you for doing all 3 fearlessly and beautifully. 💔❤️‍🩹♥️

[@frabo1000]

Beautiful reaction to an amazing and heartfelt song by Ren and Chinchilla ❤ I have seen this many times over, but your heartfelt reaction brought all of those healing emotions back. Thank you... ❤

[@badsabre5917]

Those last few lines by Ren just rips my heart out every time. One of my friends I was in the Army with “gave up the fight” last summer and this song always reminds me of what he was struggling with. He had those thoughts for so long I guess everyone thought he had gotten through it. But similar to Sam’s dad we didn’t know he was still fighting.

[@TheBigburcie]

My wife now works with the PTSD Foundation and some of the stories she's heard absolutely send shivers down your spine. Some are the men who are going through the program to reclaim their lives, some are graduates of the program who now work to help their brothers who are still fighting their demons. All of them have either been ready to end it all, or tried and were saved by fate or dumb luck, and are now trying to embrace what they have and are looking forward to waking up tomorrow.

[@sebrina8057]

Ren's strength is in his vulnerability, and that vulnerability allows us to be vulnerable in turn. The first step to healing is allowing yourself to drop the walls and feel everything and allow others to see those things.

[@kv4320]

Beau-ti-ful reaction/tears/words/silence/questions and doubts. Beautiful human. Beautiful little surprise. All the best from Belgium for you and your husband.

[@iamsquatty]

This is my favorite ren and chinny collab. Its so hauntingly beautiful 🥹💜

[@Sheilla357]

That "Where is my God? Where are You?" gets me every time as well Nikoletta. The studio version is easier on the heart however this is my go-to version. I've seen it tons and it still stabs my eyes. Sending hugs and love 🫂🤗♥🫰🫶

[@gletski7591]

For you and your reaction.. ❤❤

[@juliehoward9654]

Nickoletta sending you a BIG BIG hug ❤

[@reinori8322]

You are a lioness Nikoletta. Very brave of you to stick this out - Yeah I cried.

[@jeanninegervais5874]

I don’t know how you did it but you made a perfect song more perfect that was so beautiful. Thank you. Enjoy watching you.❤

[@MaxwellMoore-d1u]

Excellent Reaction .To 2 performer's i Love. Have you seen Ren & Liv Sangster yet .Best jamming sessions ive ever seen. " Im in Love " is the 1st. Just go with the Flow .

[@georgeaarons777]

you should absolutely react to "suicide" by ren, its one of the most heartbreaking songs ren has ever written and that's saying a lot. Definitely wait to do that one alone.

[@Runedthings]

This is my favourite REN song. It just speaks to me. Was def crying first time i saw and listen to it. Still choked up. Thank you for the reaction, and your vulnerability ❤

[@RandallMorris222]

Thank you for your honest reaction. Sharing your truth this way is a beautiful thing.

[@DJLast1977]

Ren is such an amazing therapy tool. He helps us revisit our own traumas with new lenses and gives voice to ideas maybe we weren't sure how to express. I am happy that you found a way through your pain and figured out how to be you again, because the "you" that you now give the world is such a blessing. And much like Ren, the nuance of your pains, which no one should gave to endure but many do, makes you more open and aware of how to be compassionate now.

[@bosbornefischer]

There is always a song of Ren's that will just kneecap you. Hugs to all those for whom this one is it.

[@stacie9229]

Yup. Stacie from Boston

[@stacie9229]

I feel like Kujo's gf got to them 😅. Sorry lol

[@HistoryPanoptic]

I am a HUGE fan of these 2 but your thumbnail is what made me click because I feel like that every single time I hear this!! #RENegades

[@dangermouse0480]

Shout out to all the Charmed fans. Loved that show!

[@BlessingMoon.]

Another beautiful way to make us all cry. He likes everyone but hits everyone so hard. Hopefully he recovers soon or he will be hitting us hard for even longer 😂. Great reaction thank you Nikoletta. Blessed Be.

[@xaxscratchxax926]

Love your breakdowns and sharing your vulnerability. I can feel it from the song and from you.

[@TheBigburcie]

This is a great example of how Ren is a complete artist. He can write poignant lyrics with the best songwriters, he has a vision of the visuals of the videos, and he can perform in the most raw and honest manner about something painful and personal. He also has mastered the recording process and post production to squeeze every last ounce of feeling out of his songs. Check out some of his work with The Big Push. They captured full band busking on the streets, using a combination of iphones, and a handheld Zoom recorder, but the final mix is an absolute punch to the chest like you're standing right there.

[@gshoots4357]

I love the honesty of your raw emotions, I would love to hear you react to Mackay from Ren, it's purely a piano piece but the story telling Ren delivers without any lyrics is masterful.

[@xaxscratchxax926]

Love this song. World love to see your reaction.

[@akakiospelekanos7637]

Perfectly agree!

[@Adalinedaydreams]

Yes please 🙏🏻

[@craigevans8912]

I’ve never had an artist pull so many of my emotional strings like Ren has….. when he was realising his songs last year I kept having to prepare myself for an emotional rollercoaster. 47 year old man crying to some songs on youtube!!! I guess I’m just human. Ren is a genius.

[@sefander74]

50 yr old man here. Same, bro. Same.

[@MikeSmith-km9ff]

I really like how you watch the whole video first and then go back thorough it instead of pausing, it lets you (and us) take it in as an entire work. Thank you.

[@sigally]

I loved the way you broke down the lyrics as they convey the emotion in the song which is what we all feel. 💞 Ren said the last bit of the song is about Joe. After watching Ren's chapters, (it's like a spoken literary auto biography of 8 years), It sounds like he's describing in oar as well as he generally felt during the worst part of the disease, what it felt like when he had the period of stress induced Psychosis with hallucinations and the fear that came with it. He chokes up when ver he talks about this period in his sickness that lasted a few months. It's one of the sources of his PTSD. But for any listener that hasn't done a deep dive into his life, most people, it's just as you explainedas well as how anyone relates to the emotions they feel. 👏🙂❤

[@akakiospelekanos7637]

Chapters explain almost everything about Ren's life and also career path! Even the "finger in the anus" line 😅 The song Troubles is following the chapters. It is another one song of Ren that spreads awareness to the world and leaves a wonderful message!

[@badwolf1587]

YES, A straight play for full effect is sooo helpful for the whole experience. Then breack down and thoughts. Whatever feels natural or right for that song. They are all so different and amazing.... idk what im saying. 😂love from TEXAS 👋 ❤️

[@mldkenny]

You never disappointment with your emotional and deep reactions, thank you.

[@jorice5528]

This is the “one” that hit me like no other, the very first & every time since 💔🥹 Hauntingly beautiful in all its facets. You’re reaction echoes our own, and your “surprise” was stunning & expressed that haunting pain - sending you big hugs xxx

[@UndershotDan]

You made the right call letting it play through the emotion the rawness needs to be heard and felt. Remember fragility is what makes us human. ❤

[@kevancole]

Ren is such a beautiful soul and must be protected at all costs. For me When he talks about not feeling safe in these halls and bruises on the walls with bodies in the floor breathing so loudly and wishing you could walk out, takes to a place when I felt like my own mind and body betrayed me and I was no longer safe within my own head. We all should feel safe within our own minds because that is our halls, walls, and floors, it's our structure, and when that falls it does feel like a tomb while everything begins to unravel and you definitely forget how to be you. Ren has such a way of putting things into perspective and wish I could have had this song 7 years ago, but it's ok, I got through it and I'm good now. I really hope people that need to hear his music finds him and it helps them get through whatever they have going on so that they can continue to move forward to where it's safe again. Thank you for a wonderful reaction to a meaningful song.

[@RippedPixels]

This is an amazing song and their chemistry along with Ren’s emotion just make this a masterpiece! Big Love ❤

[@bonostaffharlaar9910]

You are my fav Ren reactor by far

[@woodywoodman2319]

Perfectly imperfectly Perfect!

[@philk9227]

Beautiful insightful reaction Nikoletta. Thank you. Ren always makes us feel and in doing so opens us up and brings us all together.

[@paddythefly]

It was a great choice of you to do this seperately to your own! So you had the opportunity to really dive in deep...Your empathy, which I have seen in some of your reactions, makes yours particularly valuable, not to mention your musical expertise. I've probably seen 50 or more reactions to this song and even more to the song itself: I rarely get through it without shedding tears. Thank you for taking the time!

[@paulajardine5566]

lovely reaction. At the end he's talking about his best friend Joe who committed suicide.

[@cedarcreeper1859]

As a survivor of suicide in my family, this has a very personal meaning to me. Thank you Ren for speaking for us who are unable to!

[@suesee4855]

Great reaction. If you want to see Chinchilla at her best. Fingers, the LIVE version for Hunger TV next level. Much love ❤️ Sue

[@annamarie3306]

Have been waiting for you to get to this one. Its a masterpiece ❤

[@doobiedave9686]

This is a powerful song about dealing with the loss, in this case it's Ren's friend Joe. Ren and Chinchilla are made for each other like peanut butter is made for jelly 😂. Ren also has a tribute song to Joe called For Joe that is worth a reaction. Ren has been in Canada since 2023 receiving specialized treatments 5 days a week for his autoimmune disease that was caused by a misdiagnosis of his Lymes disease years ago. I hate that I missed the livestream, hopefully I can make the next one. Great reaction Nikoletta 🙌✌️

[@NikolettaOfficial]

Thanks Doobie! Hope to see you there!

[@gaweaver81]

"For Joe", him and a piano, can't beat that. It's beautiful and sad at the same time. It explains more about his best friend Joe that this song is about.

[@ancltube]

A great and emotional reaction. I hope you are ok. ❤ It is such a beatiful song, with so much pain and dispair. I can't listen to it without tears in my eyes. Even though I have never felt anything close to these levels of despair, I can feel it through Ren and by that he teaches me to be a better human, and to better understand those who do feel that way. Your reaction and the way you dissected it was so good. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I really like how you actively tried to restrain from making it about your own faith, even though it was obvious what you were feeling. We all choose our own ways of dealing with the big questions and who are we to claim that our own way is the only way. Me, although growing up in a christian home, now see myself as an atheist, and I really appreciate how you delt with it in the video.

[@KathyAnne28]

Miss Nikoletta - I'm a chronic pain patient who has been sick over half my life now, who also struggles with mental health. I needed your reaction and to hear this song again this morning. Being buried under the weight of pain constantly and feeling like there's no hope in sight for an end or even a reprieve definitely makes you feel you can't catch a breath or even take one.

[@DanielJones-c1i]

Love it your a proper Renaholic like us all now 🙌🏻🙌🏻🥰

[@turtlebum]

so happy this popped up in my feed. the surprises are so amazing!!

[@craiggilchrist6218]

give yourself a great big hug. all the best.

[@Markus-uc5jq]

Hi Nicole, great reaction to a great song/performance. Congrats for you being you!

[@NikolettaOfficial]

Thank you so much!!

[@joshuawiedenbeck6944]

The ending of this song is about Ren's best friend, Joe. "For Joe" is another great song, but you're going to end up reacting exactly the same. 6 months after Ren lost Joe, he also lost another friend who jumped into the sea to help someone else who was drowning. To say Ren has gone through it would be a massive understatement.

[@seth1455]

No, you got that the wrong way round, Callum (Mackay) was drowning and his friend jumped in to save him, both lives lost unfortunately

[@joshuawiedenbeck6944]

@seth1455 Ah, my bad.

[@Aelizabethm6896]

Patience is a good one to look at. It is just Ren discussing his health and singing his song Patience with his guitar without any production. Just his raw voice.

[@BinaryDad]

I can't articulate how your reactions make me feel. Because they make me feel about 50 things all at once. I have to go have a nice cup of tea to calm down now.

[@BlessingMoon.]

Thanks for your surprise with this one because it was definitely a tough one for you 🫂

[@UtahEm]

Thank you for sharing your heartfelt reaction to this beautiful song.

[@mrdarengilbert3907]

Nikoletta, ❤🙏 I don’t know what to say, beautiful, emotional, impactful reaction. Thank you Nikoletta 🙏

[@staceyjayneplatt9527]

Renegades 🙏🙏 please assemble and please 🙏 share this with Ren and team ❤️❤️🫶🏻 he will love this reaction!! Also Chinchilla needs to hear this!! I am not on social media so try and reach out to them both 👍🫶🏻🫶🏻🇬🇧🇺🇸

[@alexandertiberius1098]

My interpretation of "And the fear baptised me" was more literal, a non-believer calling out to a god in a time of struggle.

[@dillonpatterson4310]

I always thought of it as changing your whole world view. But that's just me

[@supertuscans9512]

The paradox that Ren presents is that as a self proclaimed agnostic, he has more intimate relationship with God than anyone i’ve ever come across. For those familiar with his music it would be fair to say that God for him is not just a recurring theme but an obsession. Maybe he should have been named Saul.

[@alexandertiberius1098]

@supertuscans9512 isn't everyone technically an agnostic? No one knows for sure if God exists, the difference is faith. I don't believe in God, personally, and I'll leave my opinions of organised religion out of this, but I think when you strip all of the systems away from religion, the core stories contain a lot of what we have considered universal "truths" for a really long time. I dont think it matters so much what name you give to the darkness and the light, we can all agree that we feel them both inside of us.

[@highlightspotent127]

Welcome to the Ren rabbit hole . Since stumbling upon his music some four or five months ago , I’ve been captivated and have not been able to stop listening. Ren is a genius that has connected with millions who can relate . The renegades will fill you in with all you need to know. He can do everything and fits into no one genre. It’s going to blow your mind. Watching reactors like you gives us a chance to relive the moment of hearing these songs for the very first time. For singing check out - Murderer live Fred again Chalk outlines How to be me MC sessions blind eyed And his band the big push red suspender series “I shot the sheriff” For rap - Bittersweet symphony Hunger Naz retake illest of our time Genesis Murderer Animal flow For anti greed - Money Game 1,2 and 3 Story telling - take of Jenny and screech full including violets tale Suicide Masochist Oh and for more brilliance ….. Chinchilla “fingers” live is an absolute must !!!!! 🙌🤯😯 There are so many !!!🤪 But money game 1,2 and 3 in a row will blow your mind. He’s won awards for that series. He just did a couple recent ones - money ties and kujo beat down . Look for his 30 minute video explaining the huge debacle between Kujo and himself. He goes off in the Kujo beat down. He lets the dark side out , which we rarely if ever get to see . Cheers from 🇨🇦🍻

[@Entropy72]

Thank you for sharing this honest and raw reaction with us. Many of us have had the same visceral reaction to this song so we fully understand the depth of emotion it can evoke. Know that you are loved and respected. Sending love xx

[@Entropy72]

The best way I can describe the beginning of the song is that its like Ren and Chinchilla are both harmonising with a melody line that isnt there. They both dance around the melody, but the melody itself is only ever intimated, never heard.

[@caladonn2659]

Being Baptized in the Original Sense required Complete Immersion and in this context Being Fully Immersed in the Fear

[@Miss_Renae_Author]

I love this so much 🥹😭😭

[@In_42_Space]

Beautiful raw reaction Nicole. Thank you sharing.

[@JonniPants]

I appreciate you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable with this. This song always makes me misty eyed, but I was flat out sobbing with you. And yanno, it was kind of cathartic. Especially right now, where a lot of us probably have a lot of feelings going on. There has to be an outlet. Though my feelings and tears may have come from a different emotional compartment than yours, it was still this very real shared moment (even in this digital platform). Much love for always being you, Nikoletta. 💜 Edited to add: your voice added to this was sublime!

[@TheAutisticPastor]

I hadn’t heard this song before so I just watched the lyric video before starting this live performance+reaction. The line “Have our Saviours died too soon? For my sin surrounds me,” is punching me really hard right now, like a line from a psalm of lament if there were psalms in the New Testament. I’m almost positive I’m not ready for this… Edit 1: I was fine until he delivered that last unexpected line of the song and I remembered my best friend who took his life in 2009 and I nearly started bawling. Then a few second later Nicole started talking in a lower, somber, almost defeated tone that I’d never heard or expected from her (compare 1:25 with 7:58) and it was almost like my soul was hollowed out. Sheesh. I don’t think I am ok. Edit 2: For the “did our Saviours die” line I don’t think it’s referring to heroes dying, but rather to an ineffectual substitution- “Weren’t my sins supposed to be taken away? Why do they still surround me? Did our Saviours die too soon? Did it work for others? Because I don’t think it worked for me. Maybe others got saved, but we were either neglected and forgotten or left out of the plan from the very beginning.” What an impactful picture of just how foreboding and isolating the combination of depression and vice can truly be- and the church and church culture have met that juxtaposition and pain almost exclusively with only derisive hypocrisy and self-serving superficiality. Edit 3: “Hallelujah! God, where are you?” is such a real depiction of the reality of living through faith, especially when around others in a faith community. “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to, I’m even praising when I don’t feel like it, God, aren’t you supposed to be here? Where are you? Why did you die too soon and leave me behind? Why am I so much more wretched than everyone else? Why does the formula keep seeming to work for them, but not for me?” Edit 4: The way the final line cuts off without completing the timing. It truly drives home the impact and reality of a life cut suddenly, needlessly short. Edit 5: What I really, genuinely want people to understand about suicide and attempts is that it is not born out of selfishness, laziness, and cowardice as the popular rhetoric reinforces. At a certain point you have done everything, tried everything, failed everyone and at everything, been ignored or rejected by everyone, and been overwhelmed by everything. At a certain point all you have left in the universe is your physical life not only with no reason to keep it, but every message from every direction inside your head and out screams that you are only a burden and that you do not deserve to keep it. Once you are at the point of trying to take your life you are always stuck somewhere between tying to do everyone a favor by ridding their lives of the worthless dead weight that is you and the last-ditch hope of maybe, just maybe, having something finally turn out the way it seems like it was always supposed to. It is the only reality you know- and as a church and society in general we have been absolutely, needlessly, selfishly cruel and judgmental toward those who are stuck in and act on this unshakeable, crushing torment. Edit 6: I was 100% not prepared for a third rendition of this song.

[@SpaceFox1033]

Thank you for being vulnerable and doing this breakdown. This song brings me to tears every time and I couldn't find words as to why. Thank you for explaining my feelings in this as well. It helps to understand where the pain and hurt comes from. I appreciate you. ❤

[@ShellyZorEl]

Thank you for being vulnerable… I know it’s not easy. The vulnerability is something we have all felt going down this rabbit hole. Going off of this video, I think you need to watch Trouble - Ren. He touches on his relationship with god. It’s a hard song but it is healing. ❤️‍🩹

[@akakiospelekanos7637]

Troubles is not just a song. It is a message spreading awareness, and giving a tremendous amount of hope to a lot of people who can relate!

[@ShellyZorEl]

@ I think it’s a message Nicole needs to hear. Hope, forgiveness and Ren’s story. Plus, she likes rap.

[@ChemAndAdrenaline]

Ren and Chinchilla together are magic. Every. Single. Time.

[@tripeddy-j9i]

Thank you so much for the reaction, it was worth the wait. I know faith can help some people get through tough times, but as far as things happening for a reason and not being given more than you can handle, that obviously isn’t true for rens friend and the countless others that commit suicide every year. As an atheist, the easiest explanation is that sometimes really bad things happen to really good people. Not every cloud has a silver lining. I appreciate your candid response and sharing your perspective, without coming across as preachy or superior to others’. I look forward to your future videos😊

[@marlonwilson647]

Beautiful authentic reaction ❤ much love

[@monolit73]

I recommend making a reaction to one of the best vocalists in the world. Meet Diana Ankudinova! Diana has the title - Queen of Goosebumps. Challenge yourself, can you resist the charm of her voice? Comments under the video: "What perfection, it's out of this world, not even to explain how extraordinary her voice is." "It is definitely the most beautiful voice in the world❤" 1) super unique voice (dramatic contralto with rich polyphonic overtones); 2) the most complex vocal techniques, a bewitching voice; 3) Diana sings in 6 languages : English, French, Russian, German, Spanish, Arabic and any musical genre; 4) incredible charisma, artistry and living of any song; 5) a vocal range of 4 octaves; 6) a large army of fans around the world; 7) an independent artist, without producers and labels, only with the support of fans and reactors like you; 8) more than 21 thousand reactions (all collected in my playlists). The incredible fate of a girl found with a broken collarbone at a bus stop and ended up in an orphanage.

[@monolit73]

One of the most famous hits of the king of rock 'n' roll Elvis Presley in an unrivaled gorgeous, phenomenal performance by Diana Ankudinova ( 18 y.o.) Video title: Can't help falling in love (Stereo) - Diana Ankudinova @ ShowMaskGoOn, Round 1 (Grammy awards) VERY IMORTANT, the video must be original (duration - 8.56m) from Diana's channel (1.54 million subscribers), NOT a short pirated copy from "brocoli" with 13 million views. 17 million views 381k likes 18 thousand comments - total 1450 reactions to this performance by Diana. ❗ATTENTION: Videos from TV shows are often blocked by KZbin and video EDITING is required. MV, live performances are available for unlimited reactions WITHOUT EDITING.

[@7Taric]

Diana Ankudinova is a unique singer! Phenomenal!

[@greglecig5549]

I think most of us didn’t really know what to say after hearing this one. It hit me so hard from personal experiences and I was sobbing. I replayed it a bunch of times and it hurt every time. I hope you’re healed from the issues you had. You deserve to be! Loved your reaction and always love how you support our Sic Boi so passionately ❤

[@AwfulOcelot]

They did "Chalk Outlines" together too, and it's amazing!

[@hummingbirdstones]

Thank you for this beautiful reaction. This song hits me every time I hear it. Praying for Ren to feel better soon. 🙏

[@jasonremy1627]

Ren does this to all of us.

[@ZephyrsLoki]

This song feels so personal for me. When I had to stop working because of my illness, after fighting it for 13 years, and dealing with the loss of income "I watched all my riches rust" and we eventually lost our home "my Kingdom turned to dust", and then I lost my ability to sculpt, which was my passion "Have I lost the Midas touch" and the inevitable depression that took hold "or do sad eyes blind me" It guts me every time. 💜

[@majbrat]

❤ so powerful, beautiful, and just fills me with so much emotion; Ren calling out for God to help - I weep every time. I enjoyed your haunting surprise. 😊

[@andreakinuthia4197]

Please share this with Charlie Carlotta. I'd love to see his reaction to it ❤

[@seth1455]

constantly surprised by your little surprises, truly beautiful, thanks

[@staceyjayneplatt9527]

Your reaction was palpable 🫶🏻🫶🏻I wanted to pull you through the screen and hug you ❤️❤️❤️❤️🇬🇧🇺🇸