HAD A BABY WITH THE WRONG WOMAN NOW THE KIDS ARE SUFFERING

[@TheShumakeWay]

Hit the subscribe button while you’re here 🤝

[@joannefarrior6544]

Thank you for this. I’m on the opposite end of the common spectrum. He had me in court for years trying to posses his trophy at the expense of the kids. They’re teens now but it’s been a long journey. I know my oldest wishes we could just enjoy everything together but that would mean losing so much more than a mile, with him. Because of what you shared, I can do better though-in appreciating her experience😳. I’ll try 😁❤️

[@sugar-spice38]

New subscriber

[@kimoramicheal8353]

More videos like this please! This definitely can apply to both genders. Both genders are trifling! 😭

[@Embelemokua]

I just subscribed bro!💯

[@thekinginvestor47]

Brother stop simping for the subscribers it’s cringy. We must hold women accountable. It’s very noble for you to take all the blame. But that type of burden will catch up to sooner or later

[@gmarie3082]

This man is TEACHING. Sex is too damn casual in our culture and it’s creating so much dysfunction.

[@beatricedevarenne2621]

It’s not sex but promiscuity! No one want to protect themselves and wear comdom! Then kids pay the price of their reckless parents’s mind! People need to wake up and start to wear protection! Specially in our community

[@imtheprize]

Preach!

[@Kitathegang]

Yes and this is the issue it needs to be taught more and more to growing women not to give your body up to any and everyone !!!

[@LlinsBen12]

@@beatricedevarenne2621 nah sex in general, to much soul ties and energies being transferred. Don’t matter about protection. Protection don’t guarantee anything but celibacy do!

[@marishajames3581]

Yes and a lack of self control!

[@adamsamuel6706]

Never make a decision when you are stressed, depressed, or being caressed

[@BigReggii]

BARS!!!! 100% Facts

[@AMiah-jz8uu]

Hahah

[@Banana-lk7tf]

Amen!!

[@godmused]

Absolute Truth!!!!

[@RainneRae]

True 😂

[@harrisonjoa]

Notice he said it’s his fault and not try to blame his kids' mother? Real man!

[@caribbeanraised6084]

I agree this is rare

[@snuggisthecute]

Yes, I did notice that. So much respect for him.

[@YaYa-zm3wu]

Because he isn't a deadbeat...those are the ones who typically try to place blame everywhere but on themselves...

[@c.s.804]

He may or may not blame her in his head, but the key is not announcing it public for the children's sake.

[@bettyphillips40]

There are women who do the same but I’m glad he is speaking up. Men need to hear it from a man.

[@amarieh2002]

I had a daughter at 18 not knowing the consequences worst day of my life was explaining to my daughter why I couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted more than anything both of her parents together. It will humble you like nothing else can

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

It is humbling.

[@ThePeacePlant]

I love your comment. Its beautiful

[@MaddHeather]

Going through it with my 4 year old son right now. His dad has been in and out his whole life and it's been 2 months since he has seen him last this time around. It's so hard.

[@jayo3074]

​@@MaddHeather we're you two married?

[@ashleyofnaath]

I used to work in the office at an elementary school, and I remember once I was calling for a pickup for a sick student. I tried his mother multiple times, she wasn't answering, so I told him that I was going to call his father. I kid you not, the color drained from his face and he asked me not to. I asked why, and he told me that it was his mother's week and that if I called his dad and his dad picked him up they'd scream at each other. My heart broke for the student, and it reminded me why I continue to wait until marriage for children.

[@teremertz]

I hear you, though marriage is no guarantee life will end up any differently. I waited until I was married to have kids. I was married for 12 years, had two kids, and it ended spectacularly badly. It’s been almost seven years now, and I still feel terrible for how my kids suffered during the divorce and aftermath. They are extremely well-adjusted now, fortunately. Life is hard no matter our best-laid plans 🧡

[@ldwoods3237]

Very 😥

[@q.t.gamingfamily]

@@teremertz very true but that doesn't mean throw children after marriage out the window

[@kai8865]

@@teremertz Sad as hell 😓

[@mlewisbaltimore4947]

Right marriage is no guarantee but waiting is still the best option.

[@chrissy1448]

Us black women also need to learn to protect our wombs. That's what I'm teaching my daughters from day one.

[@janine3330]

@BrownGolden Girl I agree with you but that is only half of the equation. Black boys also need to be socialized to be responsible and accountable. They need to be taught to respect themselves, women and girls and not to buy into the toxic male belief that being a man is about sleeping with as many women as you can. As a community we put so much pressure and accountability on females but little to none on the males. This will create good women but No decent men, it's like building half a house. 💯

[@bremd2018]

@BrownGolden Girl Very true, it starts at home. We can’t avoid mistakes we make at a young age if we aren’t educated properly and don’t know. But keep in mind men can be great actors to get what they want and that includes sex, kids, and marriage. The best way I’ve seen it play out is just staying protected for a few years, even in a marriage. Marriage doesn’t prevent a split home because people constantly change and you may think you know a person well, but you really don’t.

[@ULuvJanae]

@BrownGolden Girl I know that's right

[@SisterKnight]

Boys are never taught this lesson. I've been taught to 'protect my womb' from birth and to never become a baby mama. Dating in a pool of men who were taught the opposite is exhausting. Little black boys need to be taught to protect their fertilizer, and not create children in different homes. I dated endless dudes with multiple kids, I never slept with any man who had kids outside of marriage or in multiple homes. Needless to say I was always disappointed. Until I met my hispanic husband, I never dated a man who values family and need to have a two parent household and that is sad. Women have been told to protect their wombs and are still tricked into babymama-hood by deceivers and liars. I think we need to teach little black children to value the creation of life and the need for it to happen in a healthy two parent atmosphere. Not just the girls...

[@astoldbymuriel103]

Yes. I wasnt taught this surprisingly. Especially with me having a mother who had her children from her husband. I was fancy and free with my womb since age 15. But my girls were taught better by Me. I have 5 children and absolutely NO grandchildren.

[@ayoolaogunleye5960]

Don’t make her a mother if you’re not gonna make her your wife

[@Ascension1004]

Women have to do a better job of using discretion as well.

[@michaelhester404]

@Ayoola He Didn't "make" her a mother! Only a man who raped a woman can "make" a woman a mother.

[@Ascension1004]

@@michaelhester404 exactly

[@ayoolaogunleye5960]

@@michaelhester404 Taking it out of proportion bro, I meant for those in power of choice

[@bossqueenStar]

Exactly!!. It's a norm to have child mother's but not to have a wife. It's so mess up. People sexing around and they don't even know the person . Then there's possible of pregnancy .

[@kathyoneill4011]

As a teacher, I have seen the emotional damage this causes to kids. They think the absent parent does not love them anymore because he or she has another children to attend to. This sparks a lot of hurt, rivalry, hate and low self-esteem

[@TheLightShines]

Complete facts

[@tobyjohn-kq8hr]

It's like a family member um around you had a baby by men you aren't with and looking at family like the supposed to take of them well you still reckless um sorry there yours

[@CatherineCherlene]

Same way black men tell black women to “pick better” black men should be “picking better” too 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@PennyMsElite]

Very true.

[@CadillacBoss30]

Unfortunately "picking better" for men and women to often means settling for less. Less Money, less ambition, less attraction. It seems like too many men and women have to settle for less than relationships, for a black community full of families to be realistic

[@PennyMsElite]

@@CadillacBoss30 Not exactly true.

[@mlewisbaltimore4947]

@@CadillacBoss30 no people just need to be realistic on top of being mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially ready.

[@chandishuntley5001]

@@CadillacBoss30 What? 🤔 I think that's just called...settling...not picking better

[@timothymarchant]

Every 16 year old boy needs to watch this and then periodically every year till they're 26.

[@simeon2851]

Till long after they are married..

[@shanae9594]

Yes, this is the truth!

[@veeeeneerkay6098]

Totally agree

[@globaloneinc.2838]

Women as well.

U not lying!

[@ChezB70]

Two minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of pain...

[@chanelschanel8493]

💯 I always say it can only take a second To change your life forever

[@ericlester5033]

For me it's like 59 second's N a half

[@ChezB70]

@@ericlester5033 😂😂😂

[@TheRenegadeStarr]

And two minutes with someone you BARELY know. Sh^t is weird

[@neonwaves6449]

Two minutes?!

[@kneeapolytan]

I tell my brothers all the time, “you want an easy girl, then you going to have easy girl problems.”

[@vitaminhead1465]

Same goes for men, don’t want no easy man

[@God.sDaughter]

What makes a woman an easy girl?

[@Peach-kv4ze]

@@God.sDaughter That’s what I wanna know.

[@YunikuYosefMomoka]

@@Peach-kv4ze @Mary A one night stand, stop acting stupid. Women who willingly sleep with people's husbands are not mother material.

[@athena7042]

Easy girl probably means someone who will have sex without a commitment and or soon after meeting the man, and perhaps without protection. Date someone in person for at least three months before having sex, and only in a long term, loving, monogamous relationship. If they won't wait for that, they aren't the one.

[@dfjr19]

At least you’re man enough to own up and take accountability. Much respect!

[@iamhelena7159]

Very true not that much man will speak up. Like that respect.

[@gmamose9152]

Think about how the parents acrimonious relationship is being modeled to the children on this is how relationships work. Most people are not healthy. It's hard when the culture amongst men is that to have credibility, they have to have had sex. Thank you for sharing. My kid's dad got them 3 weeks a year (it was all he wanted). I had to deal with a lot of emotional fallout when he dropped them off. Not the oldest child, the youngest...

[@herlittledove]

that is why the King finally found the right Queen...good to see a Man giving thumbs up for this :)

[@wandaparker6183]

I agree with you Mr. MARTIN

[@Timwinful]

Precisely

[@justjanies]

Both genders need to see this.

[@msgatlin357]

Agreed

[@thekinginvestor47]

Women need to be held more accountable period

[@carolwilliams8840]

@@thekinginvestor47 What about both being held accountable?

[@freyaljones7368]

@@thekinginvestor47 true im a women and i couldnt agree more both genders get abused and its scarey the fact they is more cases outhere

[@soufbayshawty]

@@thekinginvestor47 You mean the single mothers that have raised most of you

[@heartlesswoman1904]

When you get to your late twenties it seems like most black men have atleast one child by someone, It’s strange that we are such a religious community but so over sexual

[@CeeceeH1819]

I explored this aspect and it has a lot to do with the passed on trauma from slavery times. The stunted development of our Blk men is also a consequence of pased down trauma. Look up epigenetics.

[@CeeceeH1819]

@Precious Erving-Frimpong As you are Ghanaian, you may not fully understand what your fellow Carribbean and AA brothers and sistahs have suffered through trauma.

[@h.n.r2151]

@@CeeceeH1819 💯 We have a lot of unhealed trauma from slavery that’s just getting recognition.

[@CeeceeH1819]

@Morgan Taylor it is a good starting point. To understand your present, you have got to understand the past. What savagely happened to us has shaped who we are today.

[@andreaa.1393]

And black women too

[@pinkymcd4684]

Brother, you should become a motivational speaker for young black men. They will thank you in the end, trust me. Stay focused, and Much Love !! ❤

[@daughterofzion6566]

Amen...

[@deidremoulton2719]

God bless you son. Become the best Father you can be to your children But...Also don't Forget to love and respect the Mother's of your children! You are a GREAT Influence to how your children will see you . They are also the product of their Mother's. If you don't show love to the mother's Your children will see this and not respect you because your are hurting the other half of them.

[@MM-km5zf]

I worked in a men's prison where the population is mostly black men...I challenged their promiscuity thinking so much as well as breaking the single parent household statistics...some argued with me and blamed the baby mammas, but I challenged them and sometimes feared for my life as I walked out to go home for the day...I had several of them (wish it was the majority) tell me privately that I inspired them to break the generational curse of single parenting/absent fathers.....I am not black, but I grew up without a father..I don't even know who he is...the damaged it has caused me the emptiness I've always felt are motivators to continue talking to men who care less for their children and only focus on having a good time

[@Kmama801]

@@MM-km5zf please continue doing this work it is so needed!

[@JenniferJohnson-fh8fx]

My husband told me once that he wished he never had sex before he was married. I was so surprised to hear that because I never thought men even thought that way.

[@griotolu7040]

There's so many lies promoted in popular culture, misleading many men and women.

[@griotolu7040]

I want men and women reading this to check out Tony Gaskins and Breeny Lee. Only ones I'm seeing exposing the real motivations behind the behaviours we witness among us as well as the long term impacts. May we all gain more wisdom and understanding!

[@stardustgirl2904]

God intended for his children not to have sexual relations before marriage! Sex is sacred it's used to create a bond between two people in 💕 love! Society has cheapend love, and made it so it wasn't special anymore, and people in society, our young people are being CHEATED of real 💕 LOVE! IT'S why society and children are suffering! Good for your husband, realizing God's way is best! 🙏🏾🙏🏼🙏🏻👍💜

[@gseric4721]

@@stardustgirl2904 that "one flesh" thing is real too. Almost scary when considering 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@adamsansom4822]

Of course we do. Well, some if us...

[@solemates5306]

As a 22 year old I appreciate this friendly reminder bro... life ain't a joke

[@TheLastBarrel]

Yes sir!

[@Jeffery99]

Same. Also 22

[@JayPistol2000]

Same . I’m so glad we have opportunities to be mentally sharp

[@UzitheSaint]

Yeah fr, same age. This why I’m fine with only getting head😂😂😂 but that’s just me 🤷‍♂️

[@mutegoldfish1158]

I'm 22 too

[@laurastevenson2785]

I am a 72 year old black woman , and I have been around the block, but I have never had any man confess about the reality regarding sex, pregnant, children in the most honest, respectful way of telling the truth so help me God. I am so proud of you, for putting this out for hopefully other people, to just understand what you are saying, and follow you for the good of man kind. This is what I pray. anyway. Continue to love and Bless your children.God Bless your journey love.☺️❤️🙏🏾

[@shepink6204]

Very well stated and needed from a woman of your caliber. I wholeheartedly agree

[@TheIntrovert83]

You should make a video.

[@sevenkings2354]

Girl I bet they look at you like your crazy.. They do when I say it....

[@monsieurimhim6147]

Upload a photo 72?

[@YourAverageNiche]

A 72 years old who uses emojis in texts? Nice try, though.

[@nickoharden]

Young Brother THIS is what needs to go VIRAL!!!! I’ve been there done that! I’ve been teaching my boys this since they where 10 and 11 because it starts when you’re very young. You over hear male family members and friends glorify being a player,Mac and a pimp and your mind begins to form the WRONG impression of relationships with women and you become vulnerable to the traps that have been set for you to fall into this lifestyle. Every single mother who has a son and every father who wants to lead his sons and daughters in the right way, YOUR CHILD NEEDS to hear this MESSAGE!!👊🏾💪🏾💪🏾Thanks Bro 4REAL!!!!

[@octoberflower6943]

Lmfao!

[@notbroku9528]

Yess 🙌🏿

[@sweetness3367]

Yes..great post. We need to talk with our children honestly. Age approved conversation.. The casualties is the kids

[@nikkinikki3001]

REAL TALK!

[@natilyfe]

I'm 34 with no kids. Everytime somebody asks me why I don't have any I always say that just because a woman can get pregnant doesn't mean she's ready to be or can be a mother/wife/partner etc...

[@WilliamEllison]

It's mostly you are not ready for kids. I've been Married almost 20 years, and I'm 39. We started having kids our first year married. At this point you are going to be a old man dad when your kids are getting out of high school. That is if you started now. By the time you understand what Love is and how to treat a woman it's going to be to late for you, I fear. Women need guidance, and they are always a mess at first, just like we all are, --- thus Love requiring a lot of sacrifice. No woman or man is ever ready to have kids or be in a loving relationship. Learning how to Love is a hard road that most will never walk or they will fall off the path due to hard times. Love demands courage, strength, gentleness, humbleness, No-ego and self-control. Most men never learn these skills. And yes they are skills you need to work on. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love is not a feeling. It's something you wake up and do every morning.

[@mizzchoc10]

Same thing applies to men. Why is there a high rate of fathers disappearing?

[@WilliamEllison]

@@mizzchoc10 I just told you if your listening

[@FiveMCity]

@@mizzchoc10 more so women keeping and doing everything in their power to keep men away from their kids. There are more men willing to be father, rather than 30 years ago. All my guy friends are in their kids lives and love them. It's the bby mom causing hell.

[@FiveMCity]

@@WilliamEllison There are women out here getting an abortion despite if the man does not want it to happen. And there's nothing like someone else killing a part of you and throwing it away like trash.

[@MoonKingGamingMobile]

I’m 24 and I appreciate the message brother. I was one of those kids caught in the crossfire I have a counselor to help with the trauma so I don’t repeat that cycle I promised myself growing up I wouldn’t allow my future kids to know the life I went through; I plan to find someone with same values and in my religion get married and then have kids.

[@TheShumakeWay]

You’re a smart man. Keep doing what you’re doing

[@shedellpretty8607]

I’m here what’s up what’s your ig

[@shepink6204]

Awesome, just always be truthful and real with your children, they'll appreciate it.

[@marttelly6663]

@@shedellpretty8607 😀😀😀😀

[@08Coolster]

Us brothers gotta have self control and say no to women who we don't plan to see a future with. Good video brotha

[@TheShumakeWay]

Facts... Thank you

[@marciachristina9513]

Us women too I had a baby with the wrong man now me and my daughter is suffering because he's choosing not to be here for us

[@katelewis3245]

Black men have to stop forcing themselves to be with black women.

[@kingoscar5884]

@@katelewis3245 Huh?

[@bg23allday1]

@@katelewis3245 wait what?

[@18Wheeler-cf1mx]

A black man being a dad. Much love my dude.

[@elvinisroberts2987]

There are great Black fathers. In my generation all my friends and neighbors had fathers in the home. It wasn’t until it became “normal “ to be teenage mothers and fathers. THAT is the problem.

[@GHO5tMod3]

Honey other groups have absent fathers trust me I know because I do social work with all types of people. I’m fourth generation in my family and we ALL knew our dads and grew up in wedlock as a black person Black fathers exists

[@mintleaf4651]

Taking accountability for our actions without blaming others is needed.

[@kai8865]

Yep but the baby momma needs to start being accountable also

[@rose-annwoodsley1252]

Exactly, it's always "someone's fault"...smh If you break a glass, you were holding. Take responsibility. Spend over your monthly financial budget. Take responsibility. Driving a car, and you get into a accident without anyone else involved. Take responsibilty, Everything isn't about walking away and avoiding fault or responsibility. Too much blaming going around

[@marleyhill34]

@@rose-annwoodsley1252 Liam just said yeah but...so everything before that he discounted. I always say do what you know what you supposed to do. the people who ain't acting right going to get their karma.

[@ranedoecht.3042]

@@kai8865 👍yep. Everyone needs to be accountable. And not get defensive and point fingers. Two people laid down together. Two people should be taking responsibility. I see many mothers that don't and many fathers that make excuses and join groups like mgtow. I understood the premise of this group and even supported the main tenants but it quickly devolved into what feminism is today, only that these men seem bitter towards their bm. Now we have this weird dynamic of blaming the other gender.

[@kai8865]

@@ranedoecht.3042 Spitting straight facts 🔥

[@Portia7189]

I shared this video with my two unmarried, no children, young adult sons. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@Chid098]

My dad told me what his father told him. "Never sleep with a woman u gon regret...so that incase a mistake happens you can at least have some peace of mind". took that shit to heart since.

[@chanelschanel8493]

Those are real men right there! I am a 19 girl and what my grandmothers and mother told me “ be careful who you open your legs for because you never know what will happen it may either be a lifetime of happiness or a lifetime of pain” We have to let the next generation know that sex isn’t the answer to everything.

[@silentlessons4221]

thats some real advice u got there.

[@joseph200ful]

💯💯💯💯

[@therealjulez7886]

AMEN to that homie.. I have a mental case ex who always hits me up for sex, i always leave her on read

[@signsofthetimes886]

@@HebrewHammer1337 naa, thats not it. Sex is not the only thing to do in order to have "fun". You saying to pull out from these "hos with no babies" is the type of thought process that leads people into a life long problematic situation just like what the man was talking in the video.

[@SasaSasa-wy9wu]

This is very refreshing to hear, a man teaching another man.

[@oceanlover2426]

It’s great! Plus, it seems like there is a phrase repeated over and over that women must “choose better”. No. Both women and men need to choose better. Both women and men need to exercise more self control. We all have room to learn, grow, and evolve.

[@WayCoolNurse]

By the way, same thing happens by marrying someone too fast based on "chemistry" or sex.

[@triniwondawoman]

💯👏🏿 so true! heck I've known ppl who didn't rush. took their time to get married. took their time to have children only to divorce. sadly nothing is guaranteed 😔

[@annetteadams1694]

True

[@MsJoyce31202]

Yes.

[@lovejones69]

Honnnneeeyyyy 🍯🍯🍯🍯

[@t-alimichael3363]

@@triniwondawoman 💯. Let God in..the devil will have its way on families.

[@teremertz]

I’ve been sharing 50/50 custody with my ex for six years now. It sucks. It’s heartbreaking the emotional havoc torn-apart families cause. I waited until marriage to have kids, and after 12 years my marriage ended very badly. Married, not married, being apart from your kids is a special hell, for them, and for you.

[@lelo46]

I’m going through all of this now. In the beginning stages of divorce. He’s already brought the children around another woman. And we’re just together 1.5 ago. Now my young children have another woman around. I sometimes regret ever getting married or having children with him. I wanted a solid family unit. Smh

[@realtruth3762]

@@lelo46 omg thats most women’s nightmare. is there any legal way to not have other partners around your child? I dont have kids yet but just curious if there‘s such a thing in general

[@bremd2018]

@@realtruth3762 Not in most states unless both parties agree to this for each other during visitation and it’s written into the custody agreement, or for the previously married couples, in the divorce decree, and signed by a judge. It’s not mandatory and judges won’t agree on it unless both parents want this or there is abuse or drugs involved, which will cause a loss of custody in general. When visitation occurs, the parent granted that time decides whoever, whenever they want around the children. Judges understand and promote both parties moving on but they don’t understand or get involved with how long they’ve known the person or if you have a reason not to trust the judgement of who the other parent has around the child. It usually comes off as jealousy, even when it’s not if you have good reasoning. So as @lelo46 said, it makes you regret things all together. And the only thing you can do is learn from it, but it’s honestly too late when you’re already in it.... But I’m glad Shumake made this video to hopefully educate others.

[@palmtreemrs]

Same. Was a virgin when I married at 27. We divorced after 13 years and I am heartbroken for my kids being caught between 2 parents. My ex will not co-parent nicely.

[@lighteningsnips]

Sorry to hear that, it must be hard dealing with this situation.

[@sppsports2449]

Look at his eyes. I see pain in those eyes. This man has been through some shit.

[@willster1863]

Brutha, 1. I admire you for putting yourself out there on display! 2. It’s good to see brothers, taking accountability and action for being a great dad!

[@TheShumakeWay]

Thank you

[@dontme4132]

God tried to warn us when he told us not to fornicate. A whole slew of problems happens as a result.

[@marcellespencer124]

i wish i had listen to father God i didnt and now paying the price. but one thing i know my God has forgivin me.🇬🇧

[@caribbeanraised6084]

Right!!

[@marymitchell3422]

You said that right, ask me how I know. God is faithful🙏🏿

[@oyaami1874]

How many children did the men in the old testament have.

[@awesom2bemelonestar10]

This is the precise reason why he said that. All kinds of problems comes with fornication. It's a difficult habit to break, but it's possible.

[@TinaLove-os7lq]

Single parenthood =POVERTY Having 2 separate households means double the bills instead of one. For example separate households The bills of the other household Rent =$700 Util=$100 Cable +phone $100 So in om1year Loss of $10,800. In 18 years there is a loss of $129,600. Single parenthood households LOSE OUT ON on minimum of $129000. Thus is just the minimum many could be losing out on as much as $200000-400000. This is money that could be used for wealth building. And this is why black people stay impoverished.

[@nigeriansista]

Wonderfully explained!

[@echanelle5926]

Facts

[@5thdimension625]

Having a baby as a single woman before age 20 guarantees (95%) likelihood of permanent poverty. No babies until you get yourself financially settled!!

[@ednaaalin]

Say the truth. This is the dynamic in America. These are Liberal/Democrat policies for black people. They told black folks, “if you don’t marry the father of your child, we will take care of you and your children..” Absence of father figure in the home is really killing our families. It’s worse than Racism.

[@pauljoseph3081]

To view sex as a form of true happiness will be the most depressing experience, EVER.

[@fkhan1036]

as a woman i agree !!

[@childofolivares8754]

Imagine what people like that would do to get it if no one wants to do it with them. Not saying all of them but at least the thought would cross 99% of their minds

[@SRoseBlog]

Sex with my husband is the best feeling in my world. It makes me truly happy and exciting experience

[@mustaphamarseille8102]

@Nicholas H you’re very smart. I don’t know what the hell that woman is talking about. Sex is part of love, she might wanna look up the four parts if love. Eros is the sex part.

[@mustaphamarseille8102]

@@ARS-fn6px Nicholas does have a point, you don’t sleep with your husband and he will cheat. Period. Try messing with reality and see who loses. A man can love you and still cheat on you. What is love to you?

[@heathermetz6576]

15:04 "Nobody never told me aye, the psychological aspect of having children outta wedlock and having children with somebody that's not right for you!" Thank you for posting this. I remember the pain of split homes when I was a teen and that hurt.

[@gainchasers7769]

Thats why Gods way is the best. Get to know the person as friends then if they're suitable, court then get married.

[@ARMY_RUGS]

No guarantee, marriages collapse daily and it’s the worst form of this . There’s a big question to all this ! Hm

[@Valeska6000]

A lot of marriage (not all) because of selfishness, pride, and bitterness. Unless God is the center of a marriage which brings loving like Christ loved, denying oneslef for the better of the other, make compromise and treat with respect and dignity the dauther or son of God that is in a marriage covenant with you. It's very difficult. We are selfish creatures by nature. When I submitted to God in my marriage even without my husband doing his due at first things changed dramatically and our marriage dynamics have neverbbeen better. The change God has made in me as influnece his behavior and ways. Like proverbs says a gentle word stops an argument. A gentle spirit (for both men and women) will tame affect the other spouse.

[@jesusisthetruth4497]

@@Valeska6000 Amen!!!

[@diamondgodisis5367]

Marriage is not a guarantee. My parents were married and divorced....I was traumatized by it.

[@diamondgodisis5367]

@@Valeska6000 I grew up in the Church and many divorced and broken homes there too. Having God as the center is not a guarantee and I wish people would stop spreading this message as if it's the only way and giving people a false sense of security.

[@delnitap]

My ex thought I was crying because he was dating another woman behind my back but I was crying because I know the feeling of not having my dad living At home. Now my kids have to know that feeling. 😪😥. I cried for my kids.

[@ojay2595]

They don’t have to. Get therapy as a couple

[@jassh2610]

It’s never about then choosing another woman, it’s about a man choosing another woman over their child.

[@missantrafalgar782]

@@ojay2595 why? The man cheated, he made his choice. Idk about u but for me cheating is not a part of relationship struggles.

[@veliciawilliams5865]

@@jassh2610 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@veliciawilliams5865]

@@missantrafalgar782 I am confused about that statement.🤔🤔🤔

[@lavinder11]

My generation had a serious teen parent problem, so my dad was very strict about sex, protection and pregnancy. He made sure to drill it into my head to be safe and only have relations with men that I could marry. I'm 33 years old with no children (on purpose) and very little relationship drama.

[@sylviemorgan9770]

Good for u,am the same,and am near 50..

[@reg8297]

That gay relationships

[@reg8297]

@@amyqb117 in end we find out bible holds all the truth God says none of us will inherit kingdom of God if we fornicate so hard to he like Lord

[@sylviaj270]

“This” is the conversation they don’t want to hear.

[@kellychavers]

He’s trying to tell y’all. This is wisdom he is choosing to pass along. The smart ones will take heed. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@queenofthesouth4205]

Being raised with both parents!!! It truly makes a difference.

[@eerynessential]

Yes..But..It can be toxic as well..ive lived thru it..& see it now..smh

[@aviannawilliams149]

@@eerynessential The same for me too

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

It didnt for me. My dad was toxic . my friends dad molested her. You need to reword it and say being raised with * good* parents make a difference.

[@chavelahutchinson2657]

@@sixteen.candles.4644 We all know what she means. Of course it's two " good" parents.

[@FreeSpiritMom]

Not for the better nor the worse as all children and families are different.

[@KimontheWeb]

And that’s why I live and promote celibacy until marriage, which is the REAL planned parenthood.

[@KimontheWeb]

@Lo Livingston Hi Lo thank you for your comment and you’re right a lot of men aren’t waiting however I personally know many who, are some even male virgins or celibate for years or was celibate and are now married.DeVon Franklin and Russell Wilson are examples of men who actually encouraged their now wives to wait with them and in my book, ‘How to Date and Stay Saved’, I feature 12 couples who were abstinent with each other, in spite of their sexual pasts, and are now happily married with families so it is possibles and the right person will wait with you it’s all a matter of perspective and believing in the possibility and not basing it on the majority.

[@shiftautomotive854]

Marriage won’t solve anything ppl who go through divorce after having a child

[@mustanggang5.0]

Kevin samuels has entered the chat

[@KayKashi]

You don’t have to be celibate just use a damn condom and birth control.

[@KayKashi]

Also you can be married but it fails

[@beverlycarter5382]

I enjoyed watching this video, I was very impressed with his message and this is for both men and women. Sex is not love, and making a baby is more than cuteness, it's a financial, emotional and psychological responsibility and so many children suffer in the long run because the conception was from lust not love. Good message!!

[@nompilokhanyile8100]

So I'm african and in most african cultures women are taught to take pride in their virginity and to look for a man who is educated or financially stable. And men are taught to look for a woman who has this kind of values and is submissive and obedient. But I think it's sad that most of the time they don't teach you about picking a partner or their intellect, emotional maturity, spiritual, mental, psychological compatibility. I grew up in a household that was very toxic. Even though my parents are still married to this day, they don't love each other. They're still together for the sacred promise they made and also I think it's because of the shame that comes with divorce. But I honestly believe they're not right for each other. They would fight all the time, I was emotionally neglected. It's something I've just discovered effects even today. My point in all this is don't just look for a partner who looks good on paper. Maybe they might be financially stable and have no kids but really get to know them. Their background, how they interact with others (especially people like waiters etc.) Their mental and emotional maturity. Make sure you love them and they love you. And most importantly their family and what kind of relationship they have with their family!!! If you have to convince yourself that you'll end up loving them anyway. They have money and security it's fine. Don't do it!!!! There's more to compatibility and love than this.

[@janisefrost3323]

It's the same for women who don't protect themselves and wind up with children not wanted or cared for by their fathers girls and boys need their fathers.

[@checkmate8015]

@prince Rak South African based on the name

[@CodeSwag]

@prince Rak what are "real africans"???

[@triston9618]

@prince Rak A u serious right now? 🙄🙄🙄🙄What do you mean?

[@Man-Dtrading]

@prince Rak who are YOU to say that???

[@tiffanyg5465]

Amen brother! If you're not having sex then people think something is wrong with you or not normal. We all need to go back to the way dating is supposed to be. Conversation, spend time doing things together, and set good intentions on where it is going. Too many people giving advice on dating but not many people talking about the real issues. Thanks!

[@indigoGoddess7]

Agreed!

[@katybrown9205]

That’s a fact. My ex BFF literally joined online dating sites and met up and will literally have sex with them after the second date. And she’d have them in rotation. I abstain and there’s something wrong with me!!!!! 😑And she falls so easy. Creating soul ties and bitch to me about it. Why complain to me if there’s something wrong with me?? !!🧐🧐🤷🏾‍♀️. I stopped talking to her. She drained me.

[@amarildopires2979]

Lust is a hell of a drug

[@ms.sunshine2u635]

Very well said.

[@Jesus-kt5dc]

*Nah, just legalize prostitution and it will solve a lot of dysfunction in society.*

[@fsmithh]

AMEN AMEN that exactly why I decided to become celibate. I was raped on my first time ..second time I was being lied to just for them to have sex with me..thirst and last time was my „ex“ who hid his pregnant wife from me that he had been living with which is also the mother of his first son..I got pregnant during that relationship but refused to keep it..cause I knew he couldn’t/wouldn’t take care of us.. I‘m still feeling so guilty and ashamed..and that when I finally understood what God has always been trying to protect us from. „Rape, unwanted pregnancy, STD‘s, having to use plan B, and so on .... Its just so unnecessary we go through all this just for temporary pleasure rather than wait till we mature enough to make wise decisions on who to let touch our sacred body and have kids with...

[@beautifulty777]

True until the part that you talk about rape. Rape is not your fault. It's the lack of respect that the individual has for you and your body. Don't even think that you allowed that behavior bc clearly you had a boundary and they crossed it. Thats not your fault. I pray that you can find forgiveness and grace for yourself so that you can heal completely.💕

[@beautifulty777]

And it's hard finding the right person. Being decieved and munipulated happens to alot of people before they find the right one and thats of they ever do. Sometimes our heart is deceptive to us too bc we want to help and love that person who does us wrong. Only discernment and prayer will lead you to the right one.

[@sloanbanks1932]

@@beautifulty777 Snapple Apple Fact plus fasting

[@camiba6773]

I am celibate because of what my mother went through chasing love and having violate men in the house that abuse us and abuse her. It scar me to the point I never want to go through that. It is horrible and I will never want any child to witness the horrific terror of my decision

[@historiqueafricaine]

I was also raped my 1st time and ended up with a manipulator pervers months later ou was hard to deal with but it's possible to overcome with counseling and prayers

[@bagobeans]

What a great video. Grandparents suffer too. The mother of my son's child refuses to let me have contact with the child. Everyone suffers. All because a few minutes of pleasure.

[@peggynorton5535]

I'm right there with you. I'm not even allowed in my sons house now nor his dad because of her. Neither have done anything except not be her parents. She screams at my son and his other two kids constantly. I wish he would throw her out.

[@susanmorgan7177]

Yes I hear you all, I have two grandsons , these parents are always busy , but you can’t take it out on 2 precious boys , because he married a bitch , and to top it off , nobody did nothing to her , wrong wrong wrong 😑

[@glorfindelchocolateflowery6392]

That's why I say its better not to give people grandkids. Because if you try to keep your abusive spouse away from your kids the grandparents will just guilt trip you. Can't wait to get my tubes tied so I won't ever hear a old person guilt trip me about grandkids

[@juanitamanderson9201]

To all grandparents, you have rights to see your grands. If need be take the BITCH OR BASTARD TO COURT PERIOD!

[@evaphillips2102]

She’s pure evil. I’m so sorry.

[@scarletpimpernel195]

We live in a hyper sexual society . Everyday we’re bombarded with messages promoting lust and promiscuity. It’s tough to resist the urges . Self control is key. We can cultivate this within ourselves. Not just because the media promotes a certain lifestyle we have to follow. Get to know people beyond what they look like, find out their financial history , their sexual history. This culture of hook ups is not the way. It actually interferes with our ability to pair bond and have healthy relationships.

[@Raindrops4eva]

Sadly, it's true, people follow the media like sheep these days. Hook ups are considered normal these days, when you say you don't want to , you are considered frigged. It's great that the comments are all agreeing on the fact that we need to stop sexualising relationships to a point it's just a physical thing and nothing else. God, that is one thing that sperates us from animals 😐

[@cardo92w]

So correct on all accounts

[@hearanecho]

Right the other day the tree man just tried to kiss me and I pushed him off me like what the fk? You just go around trying to kiss people I don't need or talk to you beyond trees bro...I just don't know why so many people want to just jump right into sechs it's just weird to me

[@abena1919]

Exactly!!

[@AkwaIbomDoll]

I agree with everything you said apart from the ‘pair bonding’ part not everyone is spiritual or processes things that way and it’s a highly unscientific approach that encourages harmful behaviours (long term) in the name of ‘self-preservation’

[@Bufekana]

Its called HOOK UP culture nowadays! A lot people dont care but i hope this changes! Thank you for speaking about this!👋❤️greetings from Europe

[@thatdude123]

Hookup culture has been here for a long time. It didn't just start in this generation. Different names, same face.

[@MH-yj5ed]

@@thatdude123 it's always been there but it wasn't as heavily shamelessly promoted as is now.

[@xguy9999]

Much respect for this video. I've been married to the right woman for 16 years, and we have two kids. And people always tell us we are unicorns In the black community. So sad.

[@TheShumakeWay]

It definitely is. Hopefully people will see more videos like this and see the light. By the way I’m about to get married soon and I I like to ask men like you this question... What is the best piece of advice you can give a soon to be newly wed?

[@xguy9999]

@@TheShumakeWay You already on the right track from what I see. For my wife and I it was all about building that strong foundation. God first, follow by us. We keep making that foundation stronger every day because the storms of life will always come to knock your marriage over. By the grace of God we made it through the storms and have become even stronger from them. May God bless you and your fiancé and your marriage.

[@TheShumakeWay]

@@xguy9999 i appreciate that. I can’t wait to be able to say I’ve been married as long as you.

[@KrissyBeeTv]

@@TheShumakeWay congrats. Im waiting for my god ordained spouse.

[@tangoalpha94]

@@KrissyBeeTv faith without works is dead. He’s not just going to pop up. Now go ahead and insult me and curse me out.

[@R0Z3MVRY]

I have to share this with my male friends and cousins ASAP!! They need to take notes and reevaluate their lives.

[@michellejade3272]

Morals are often looked down upon but often protect parents and children from these kinds of situations.

[@keepitsimpleydb6151]

So true -

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Yes

[@tlashai9902]

This is true, I respect men that have children, but at the same time I refuse to be with a man that has kids with multiple women, really not even one child. I had a man curse me out, then say I was judging him based off his past. People hate for you to call them on their mess, but I judged him off of current events. But these people don’t care if you are right for them or not, they just want who they want, but end up suffering the consequences later.

[@oursimpleandnaturalkindofl7301]

a lot of them will just lie to you and tell you that they don't have any kids. You end of finding out later. Those same guys that feel like you are judging them, will be the same ones on the woman hating youtube channels talking about how single moms are trash. There are thousands of guys on those channels, saying single moms are trash and don't date them but these guys don't have any children and havent made any single parent families?.. hypocrites. Also, that same guy will get you pregnant and you will be the next single mom. He has already shown you that he will walk away. Smart woman. I am teaching my daughter too. Keep her legs closed until marriage.

[@tlashai9902]

@mizzmolly thank you 🙏

[@historiqueafricaine]

That's why praying for discernement while dating someone and not getting intimate fast is a must!! God reveals red flags and can even send people with receipts about the people we're dealing with before jumping to a messy situation🙅 God asked us to guard our heart for a reason💜

[@marleyhill34]

@@oursimpleandnaturalkindofl7301 marriage is no guarantee either. the way how things are now, people get married for unholy and unhealthy reasons, ego trip, peer pressure, religious pressure, financial stability, lust, fear of being alone. I married for healthy reasons love and building a Christian life together but I didn't know what subtle signs to look for. My husband told me he was ready and ready specifically to marry me specifically and I believed him. Not a soul told me not to marry him. Effectively he was very good at hiding all of his unhealthy thoughts and behaviours and the Church loved him! But something in my spirit said not to have children with him. He got arrested for assaulting me and I left him. I know many single mothers who were married and had to get a divorce due to abuse or were divorced because their husband wanted a younger thinner woman. There are also those who married but their husband died but they get tarred with the same brush.

[@oursimpleandnaturalkindofl7301]

@@marleyhill34 I agree. These days marriage doesn't guarantee a person won't be hurt or abused or left but i am trying to lower the chance of running into this trash because they don't want to be married anyway.

[@paulstrathern4309]

Yep. That's always been a major fear of mine. In my teens and early 20s a whole lot of dudes I knew growing up snickered and laughed at me for taking this position. Now I look at them all complaining about having to deal with child support. family court, custody battles, and resentful children. Now I'm the one laughing.

[@CB-gl5xn]

When children have to go back and forth it can be difficult. Children want a mom and dad because it’s natural. They want their family living under one roof.

[@pazuzuxx]

The entertainment industry music, movies etc are promoting a culture of promiscuity, sexuality, hedonism. Basically the opposite of what this dude preachin

[@tiffanyv7174]

Agreed...

[@Rarediel]

condoms

[@joannpreston2023]

Enjoyed listening to you. Thank you for not using bad language most time some speak truth but because of the foul mouth I personally chose to not listen. Keep up the good work.

[@tropicalco2339]

Yep

[@shantajules-russell1067]

You're absolutely right. It promotes a totally unrighteous life!

[@dii-N-sd]

It's about "quality" not "quantity". You can't be out here having sex with any and everybody you meet. Men and women both have to learn to have more self-respect.

[@YunikuYosefMomoka]

That's what you do if you want to give someone chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis.

[@kingquan3826]

Why do men wait until they have children to finally decide to get their life together? Using the child as a catalyst for their own growth. It’s way too common for men to find purpose through their children. Definitely need to heal and be happy BEFORE you have children so that child doesn’t have to heal from having you as a parent.

[@gokeogunremi7575]

Truly, there's nothing that sets you straight in a hurry like it, ...huge responsibility involved. But bringing a child into this messy world with no plan in view is just plain criminal!!

[@benmartinez2226]

My mom took like 4 kids to kinda get her shit together soooo women too man

[@darrellguzman2045]

Sometime it take a child too set u straight.

[@jessicabeca1234]

Right ✨✨

[@childofolivares8754]

That goes for both sexes too

[@mariademers3111]

I’m in favor of you giving this talk to high school kids. What a gift you’d be giving them. You’re 100percent

[@antisocialextrovert3008]

I see why my son doesn't want children now. He's 20 and has already made up his mind on it. I see too many marriages failing, mother's and fathers having babies and one leaves, or your situation. I won't ask again about future grandchildren.

[@marleyhill34]

He cannot handle children psychologically. My sister is the same. I'm in therapy and hope to go to parenting courses to raise a child with good psychological health. My psychological health was completely ignored by my parents.

[@indigoGoddess7]

@@marleyhill34 Children just aren’t for everyone. Not everyone is meant to be a parent just like not everyone is meant to get married, own a house, etc...

[@AC-ql5gb]

Thats a healthy perspective at 20. By the time he's 30-35 he'll wake up and realize he's worked hard and become master of his universe. Then he'll want to share that. Keep him focused!!

[@vicvic2081]

I commend him, I bet your son is pretty damn smart. But please tell him that we need smart people to have kids

[@leesteal4458]

Teach him to wait until he is married to a good woman.

[@ruthharris5110]

Well done to you for posting this. You may want to do a talk in schools, to young men, and in fact women.

[@MrNanah38]

You should write a book but I'm afraid most of these men will not read it.

[@twintwo278]

He needs to be speaking this to the MASSES!!! Men and women, boys and girls!!!! Yesssss Lord!!!!

[@Nattaferg]

Men, be careful which gardens you plant your seeds in. Some of these gardens are full of weeds! Be careful who you dally with as one moment or two of pleasure can be a lifetime of crosses! Same for the women.

[@lionessnala2000]

So true

[@EdemAf]

Takes a real man to have this convo.

[@RobertGarcia-wb4hy]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a wise man. There's a reason why God's word says not to do certain things, because He knows pain and suffering will be the result. But we live in a society that glorifies and promotes sin. Lord have mercy. My heart goes out to this dude, I went through the same thing. God bless 🙏

[@gdust6579]

I hope he can reconcile with the kids mom

[@ricko2301]

@@gdust6579 For what?

[@savonnahsmith4112]

I like your comment and you are correct about the bible it's our instruction for life. If we learn some knowledge and seek some understanding then perhaps we can apply some wisdom to our lives, then just maybe we can live a purpose driven life.

[@paigeoliver425]

He can't be that wise my G, that's why he going through this shit now

[@amarie8769]

@@paigeoliver425 So true, I was wondering had this been figured out before he got caught up. He would be in a much better place.

[@Beowulf002]

I appreciate this video. I always grew up knowing something was not right that all my non black friends and mixed friends with non black fathers and black mothers had two parent households. I remember one birthday party where my dad was there and one of my friends asked me why my brother and sister weren't calling my dad, "dad". After a while I would lie and say me and my sister had the same dad bc it was so embarrassing being in a single household with different dads. them recession years was hard on us. My sister went on to perpetuate the cycle and got 3 kids by 3 men and only one is partially active and my sister is not active in the oldest life. He being raised by my mom. Men in our community do a lot of blaming on women picking the wrong men but its 50/50. the majority of men in our community have a pump and dump mentality and create single mothers not only in our community but in non black women as well. Thank you for holding men accountable

[@grandson2537]

Love your videos I’m a 25 year female wit no kids and I wanna wait till I’m married to have kids but I’m in no rush

[@sophielorraine4654]

🙌🙌

[@tboss8243]

Same

[@CharisBrinkley]

Good for you sweetie 💜

[@lebonhlapo2607]

Same here Sis 25 (Will be 26 in June), and not having any babies out of wedlock.

[@grandson2537]

@@lebonhlapo2607 definitely I feel you

[@noeldeleon1166]

I grew up without my dad, only seen him twice in my life. I went through alot and I always felt alone and stressed out due to life bills and my mom being a single mother. No one to talk or understand me to guide me in the right direction. I always wonder what my life would of been like if I had a dad. Luckily I believe and pray to God. God helps me understand life situations. But what you say here is very real and I appreciate it alot.

[@ForGlory1]

Damn man you wrote my entire life story

[@winnieeldama4687]

lm so proud of you. God bless you!

[@Kharizmah]

@Owi OwiYou are your "god" and "Veganism" is your religion. Look at you testifying and witnessing...

[@GoferGirl]

You're gonna make me cry 💔

[@bossqueenStar]

You can have a dad. But he might not know how to be a father. Same goes to mother's.

[@Brenaenae]

Hope this goes viral. 🔥🔥The psychological damage to the kids alone is the reason why I stand by what he’s saying. Being the kid of this very situation SUCKS. I love the fact that he’s owning his mistakes. I didn’t expect my dad to be perfect but at least admitting he was wrong would’ve been enough for me. Imagine what would happen to the childs esteem if he didn’t?!?! Or worse, if he started blaming the child for their mistakes. It’s happened to me and many others. Keep speaking out bro ✊🏼💯

[@susanmurphy958]

It's nice to see you care about your children so much.

[@Apostylicpoet]

This is why God wanted sex to be within the confines and safety of marriage. Fallen humanity is selfish and all they think about is the “fun” of having sex! Never think about the babies and how it’s going to affect them. Such a relevant message!

[@marleyhill34]

Doesn't matter. Look at how many Christian marriages fall apart. smh.

[@Redkoi88]

No . Religion puts even more pressure and dysfunctional ideas about something so natural and beautiful as sex. Sex should be respected simply because of what it is . Teaching our kids early on not through fear .

[@TruFilmProductions]

Some people do wait for marriage and have kids but there is this thing called divorce.

[@marishajames3581]

People divorce because they marry for the wrong reason. Love, lust, or money are the wrong reasons.

[@marleyhill34]

@@marishajames3581 I don't think marrying for love is wrong. God is Love. Love makes the world go around. Unless you don't believe in love. but that's another topic. Why did you get married?

[@spamman6369]

Daddies are so important to their children's lives.

[@lisanidog8178]

Spam Man BOTH parents are important in kids' lives!

[@spamman6369]

@@lisanidog8178 Of course that is true Lisa. That should go without saying. Sadly in recent decades there has been a push to diminish the importance of the father's role. I only meant to emphasize, in the context of this video, the traditional obvious truth that daddies are indeed so important for a child's healthy growth.

[@candy_apple8931]

Yes ...

[@lisanidog8178]

@@spamman6369 they are contributors. There were times I had no choice but to go to dad because mom was insufferable at times. And yes he could be just as nurturing if not more so. But moms take on most of the burdens and aren't recognized. Dads are contributors. And a single mom for instance can be capable of being both parents since there are so many dead beat dads.

[@myemail9711]

@@lisanidog8178 what about the dead beat moms? You will never understand the pain of being a hard working man, that will and do sacrifice any and everything for his lady and children only to be told you have to leave the home because she chose to no longer work and rely on the system. Then that very system see that you make good money so they attach child support on the sole provider to the point where it comes to pay your rent or mortgage or child support, which transfers to pay child support or be homeless. So many men fall into this category, if I choose to pay child support I'm gna be homeless which leads to being jobless because no matter how anyone look at it you can't be homeless and hold a good job. So you choose your own health and survival and get labeled a dead beat. So many men sell drugs and do dumb shit because of a woman they loved made choices that put their back against a wall

[@LetsTalk9102]

We should show teenagers this video. This is great and psychologically building content. Greetings from South Africa, Mzansi.

[@TheShumakeWay]

I agree. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@calebhenderson6507]

There is no such thing with having a baby with the wrong person. Man or woman. Most of these people (not all) know what they were doing and whom they were doing it with. Funny how these "wrong" men and women seemed "right" when you were doing your thing with them. Are there exceptions to the rule? Absolutely. But at the end of the day men and women like this really wanted to just ruined their royal oaks, and NOW they want to regret it.

[@Londonlink]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who Compares sex to drugs

[@TommyDJr45]

Facts! I tell ppl all the time sex is the most addicting drug on this planet! People kill for it, steal it just to get off. A quick fix. It's crazy smh

[@janinelew2483]

The sad part about this is that a lot of those men don't care. They couldn't care less how their children eat or how they live. 😞

[@kynathomas4809]

💣💯

[@davidwalker2030]

Men don't care???? Love u can fill a Stadium with females that don't give a shit about their kids. Females now a days ain't shit. So if you really care about our children start checking these "women"

[@MH-yj5ed]

@@davidwalker2030 the person said a lot don't care not all. It's true. How many single fathers have you met compared to single mothers? It's easier for men to walk away from a child than women. When you hear that a man walked away from his kids, you wouldn't even bat an eyelid. Because it's something we are all used to. If you heard the same about a woman, it would probably most likely garner more of a negative response. It's just how it is unfortunately

[@davidwalker2030]

@@MH-yj5ed I know 4 single fathers. NONE of the mothers are in the kids life. Have the fathers tried to get custody of the kids???? It's been my experience that women end up with the kids bc they think the kids are theirs and believe the father is their only for money. Myself and plenty of other men are willing and able to take the kids. So are the men asking for their children? Esp. the boys?

[@ms.teaversation8072]

@@davidwalker2030 I hear you...its easier to point the finger in the other direction. Some women think they are exempt from being corrected...I have watched my son deal with all kinds of foolery ...he is involved in his children's life, pays his CS, good job all that...the BS has to stop.

[@Tyzen7]

Everyone gets in a relationship just to say that they're in a relationship and not lonely. People are so weak and can't handle society seeing them as "unattractive" so they literally jump in a relationship as fast as they can, even right after a breakup, they will rush right into the next one. And 99% of the time they have a kid before marriage, then boom, breakup and then they're a single mom/single dad.

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

Yep!!! Guilty.

[@GoddessBlueYozakura7]

I don't do that. I never felt it made any sense jumping into something without going through a healing process or growth after a break up. I always saw it as tracking muddy shoes over a freshly shampooed carpet. If I wouldn't do that to a carpet, it makes even less sense doing that between relationships. I'm not saying break-ups don't hurt. I'm saying you have to get to the point where you're comfortable being in your own company again.

[@CodyCole80]

And they usually break up right after the kid is born. I think some just have babies just because it’s expected.

[@Nille0212]

This is something every single young man needs to hear once puberty hits and every 3 months until 18, then every 6 months until they finally find the right woman. I tell my nephews all the time, "Don't get caught up in a lifetime of grief over a 10 second nut!" I have seen the damage done to children born in hostile situations. I'm a product of it. My parents are like oil and water. They got caught up, and he dipped out a week after I was born. It's still horrible having to interact with them both at the same time! And I'm 41!!! 😳😳😳 So I definitely don't want to see that continued in their generation. I didn't have kids because I didn't find someone who could be the man I wanted to bring children into the world with and create a family with.

[@Erikaisfavored]

It’s so great to hear your honesty. It was another guy who stated how he wished he did things differently as well he had 3 kids by 3 different women. He stated how his son wanted him to stay over but the dad couldn’t because he had to spend time with his other child. He said it hurt him deeply as well. Marry the right one and truly consulting the Lord if this is the best person for you. Goof stuff brother.

[@TheShumakeWay]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@JimmyBritishBeats]

That man needs his own house

[@skittlescupcakes7233]

That’s Tuff

[@DaintyAbby]

No offence but if he had children out of wedlock 3 times.. he did not learn his lesson. He didn’t regret shit

[@picklep9812]

Why are people in the comments responding with “black women or black men”. I think the important thing is to remember people are flawed no matter the colour of skin. I think humanity needs to do better. Thanks for thinking of the children. I’ve never heard this talked about and it’s actually shocking.

[@deborawhite3126]

No offense to you and please don't take my comment the wrong way. To be honest, you are basically stating ethnic & color don't matter. I totally disagree. Some poverty-stricken Afro-American people were not taught the same as Caucasian children or ethnic. Statistics will give you the percentage of what ethnics and poverty-stricken areas,and states for unwanted pregnancies. It's mostly Afro-American people, Latino's and Spanish low income areas that do not practice unsafe sex or using protective aspects to prevent unwanted pregnancies. There are a lot of dysfunctional family aspects to trigger unwanted pregnancies in poor poverty-stricken area's as well. However, I understand you want to think on the level of equal races for unwanted pregnancies, however, it's not that way at all. Whites statistics are not same for people of color. However, I also understand what you are stating as well. There are some Caucasian children make mistakes; but not higher percentages than people of color.

[@deborawhite3126]

@@jesusisgod4992 The only thing I can tell you....READ...😊 Stop being illeriate & delusional. You're right it is human race of different cultures and ethnics. It sounds like you are very young with no experience in life. My best friends are almost every ethnic/cultures of color. I am not bias and never will be racist a person. I was brought up as a Christian from two adorable parents that taught my siblings and myself very well. I am an intelligent individual with a Doctoral Degree. I read and know what the statistics consist of in America. If you would like to know how America cultures are different and treated different...turn on your television, get a book and READ or observe the world news. Maybe you will learn statistics numbers in America and observe how different ethnics are treated in this nation. God Bless you!

[@citybythesea2010]

Hello ladies, I work at a historic plantation site and we discuss the unbending line between events of 300 years ago and today. There is a definitive and well documented connection. Moreover, trying to ignore the impact of race suggests you don’t have to deal with it, it doesn’t impact you, therefore you are trying to minimize the trauma all over. That’s your paradigm. It’s nice that you care but go one step further and research history. I think you mean to be supportive, but instead your comments come off as dismissive and that leads to division. This brother’s message is unbelievably true to life, sad, hurtful and real and I deeply appreciate his candor and vulnerability. Best to both of you.

[@citybythesea2010]

@@jesusisgod4992 The humanity is the point and for you it is one way and for me it is another. You don’t decide for the world. Do you. Learn what you can. Leave it there. My experience isn’t less valuable because you disagree. Have a blessed day

[@deborawhite3126]

@@jesusisgod4992 Find God....So you will know the truth. God brought you in this world when he put breath in your body to breath. Your soul and spirit will return to God when you die. Every human-being is brought in the world with God and will leave this earth/world with God. The next step you will be judge on judgment day, which means your soul will be in Hell or Heaven eternally according to the way you have lived on this earth and how you have treated people. God Bless you! I am praying for you!

[@kd_479]

I really appreciate this message. I’m a young black women and gave myself up to someone I didn’t plan on being with and it really messed me up In so many ways. Thank God I didn’t get pregnant!!! Made a promise to myself to never do it again until after marriage.

[@kynathomas4809]

Yayyy! For you. God bless you hun. We all fall down but must dust ourselves off and get back up again. You can do this. ❤

[@qodeshcreative]

Literally went through the same. God is so good. That seed was rejected!

[@Jaisha26]

Great video sir. Marriage first, sex and children later. This way, you can have these types of conversations at home and prepare your children for success. Bless you sir.

[@Unpopularopinion1960]

When it came time for a divorce and fight for custody of my kids I played zero games. I had a rough childhood and I refused to let my kids have one. I happily paid thousands for lawyers and court fees and ended up with 50/50 of my kids with no child support. Everything my ex wife put me through on purpose and tried to take my kids I still forgave her for my kids sake, my kids think that me and her are the best of friends, I refused to argue with her and I only say positive things about her when the kids are around. Men, no matter how bad your child’s mother is it’s still your responsibility to fight for your kids and give them the best life.

[@wysefavor]

You are a hero sir....What did you have to do to get 50/50 custody ? I am going through same situation right now sir...

[@Unpopularopinion1960]

@@wysefavor I hired a lawyer and went through the family court system.

[@khadhrikhan1549]

You are a hero man. Your children are blessed to have such a dad.

[@sonderexpeditions]

Beautiful!

[@Jas-oo4qc]

Did he lie . Neither of my parents like each other. One is like amicable, the other still mad 20 years later STILL . Had me stressed as a child . You tied to that person for the rest of your life when you have kids with someone. Make sure you have kids it’s with someone you love and wanna build a future with. Starting a relationship with sex gets nowhere. If not with a child , someone gets hurt sooooooo. Don’t do it, think. Does the person possess traIts that would make them a good partner and parent? Are they even a good person ?Chile I’m done talking Don’t let these rappers and Social media ppl steer you wrong . They say one thing and do another .

[@amyqb117]

mehn social media is so hypersexualised. the current society pretends to be sex positive but what about safe sex? what about real relationships? Sex positivity is doing sex the right way! I am just so scared for the future because I feel that it will only get worse.

[@naturalforme]

Say it again!! My parents divorced and haven’t talked to each-other in 10 years! When I tell you that I’M STRESSED believe it! It’s ridiculous!

[@chasechase9059]

I wish you tube was around when I was young. Imagine if I heard this message when I was young. My life would of been different, I would of doged the bullet🙆🏽‍♀️. I had a child with the wrong dude and I was blinded at the fact that he was a crack head and doing drugs in front of my daughter. He was verbally abusive, till it broke my daughter down and she stopped protecting him. She has severe mental issues that she is seeing a psychologist. Crying out to me telling me how come my dad dosen't love me. Her self esteem is low and her marks are dropping. Its been hell !!!!! Young people please think twice before you jump in bed with that individual. A one night of pleasure can cause a heart ache of pain.

[@marleyhill34]

Damn. I dodged a bullet but I was on the Mirena coil. I'm actually thinking of having a child alone via sperm donor. I'm not meeting the men with the emotional capacity that I want for my children. I don't want my children to think that they were abandoned by their father.

[@dre8463]

You had to be told to not to sleep with a crackhead, unprotected? 😱

[@marleyhill34]

@@dre8463 Maybe she didn't know he was a crackhead at the point of conception? Don't forget Rihanna's father was a crackhead. I didn't know my husband was an abuser until year 7 of our relationship. He never laid or threatened to lay a hand on me until year 7 either. They hide it very well.

[@dre8463]

@@marleyhill34 If that's the case, then understandable. I was just shocked, crackheads aren't usually very good at hiding the fact that they're crackheads unless she didn't know this guy very well before having sex with him...

[@marleyhill34]

@@dre8463 I have spoken to and listened to many drug addicts and initially, they hide it very well. When we see them in the street that's when they've lost everything/ in the peak of their addiction but not everyone starts out like that. But I also know someone who was a cocaine addict who kept his job, relationship and home for 10 years before getting clean. They are incredibly good at lying and if you don't take drugs yourself you would know the signs. Same with mental health. No one would know I have a personality disorder unless I told them.

[@triciabowles8992]

You did an OUTSTANDING JOB creating this EXCELLENT MESSAGE! You took a risk and it WILL pay off for someone who watches this video. VERY proud of you as an AA man! My husband and I have two AA sons. We've been saying these same things to them since they were in 6th grade. It matters! It works! But someone has to speak this truth! DO NOT give any thought to the irresponsible people who gave this video a thumbs down. Chaos comes from irresponsible choices and behavior. Very big of you to share your truth and to be so transparent in your example. Bless you!

[@Sarai1996]

Black men and women need to be terrified of being a Baby “momma or baby daddy “... And strive to be parents. Parents that can provide financially emotionally. If you hate your child’s mom or Dad..chances are you are screwing up the child emotionally

[@BCAprocess]

Facts 💯!!

[@brandonian6940]

You ain’t no deadbeat. And you ain’t gotta explain yourself to nobody, especially to someone who thinks you’re a deadbeat. God bless you brother. And thank you for sharing with us!

[@Dastardly_X]

🌟

[@ellap4235]

I grew up in the 70s. Born to an almost 18 year old child. She kept me, but she shut my dad out. Not having a daddy affected me in ways I don't want to describe and I did things I'll be ashamed of for the rest of my life. I did meet him later and had a semi-relationship with him until he passed a few years ago. From him I have two half sisters, both whom I adore. I love my mother so much and am super close with her (we basically grew up together!), but, oh, what I would have given to have a daddy like you. You, sir, are a good man.

[@indiald3373]

Respect

[@avayu2289]

This PSA should go hugely viral! Thank you because having babies is serious business and lifetime commitments.

[@mintleaf4651]

I'm glad the community is waking up, we can make better decisions for our children by choosing better partners and be more responsible❤ i learned from other's mistakes.

[@sagewords6335]

One of the saddest things I hear kids say, "I'm going to my dad's house." or "I'm going to my mom's house." Kids in these situations are transients.

[@favouritethings11]

Story of my life lol

[@carolwilliams8840]

@@favouritethings11 So sorry gor your experience. ❤

[@JM-sm8ir]

I always correct my children and say it's Your house too. They live in two houses and have to make adjustments every week. It's sad. They want us to All be together.

[@yonisali3879]

Yeah sad sad situation Indeed. You can see their behavior change depending who and where they at. What is even worse is when the kids are sperated and one parent Don't give fuck about their physical and mental development. Somebody better set it right before they deviate from their rightful path. I would advice the responsible parent does whatever that is necessary ( get funds) to put those kids under the same roof with somebody who is willing to take up half the share of the workload. After seeing some shit like up by that close and personal puts me totally off having kids cuz I did not know there was so much responsibility that has long term consequences.

[@sentb5744]

Every young person needs to watch this. Unfortunately, too many aren’t capable of receiving this message.

[@jonheredia8789]

Great respect to you for being real....... coming from a 60 year old man who never had children.... continue teaching life's lessons to our young people.

[@feliciapillow5860]

Great video; however many men aren't talking about what you're discussing because they don't care about that. They talk about child support because that's what they care about. It doesn't take 9 months to get outta dodge.

[@teresam5199]

Right...it's not that they don't know, or don't understand, or weren't taught, etc....that's nothing more than excuses....they know, THEY JUST DON'T CARE! For many of them, they don't spend time with their children so that they don't have to actually SEE 🙈 the hurt, trauma and neglect they inflict on their own children.

[@belle3055]

@@teresam5199 sad. Generational trauma...

[@henryhall2403]

Men are taking about all of that. A lot are talking about not paying child support for a child that isn’t really theirs too.

[@Jasmine-et4zm]

You never know a person. I was with my ex-husband since middle school, we married at (21/20) at the time we had 2 children. After 7 years of marriage and 2 more babies later...we are divorced and I'm a single parent something I never thought I would be. We hate each other, so much and I can say why.. People change.. yes you can wait until marriage to have children, you can spend your entire youth with someone and not know them.

[@OShawna23]

Felt this one-I almost had the same faith as you with my middle school sweet heart but thankfully I didn’t sleep with him or anything and I am happy I didn’t go to bed with him because he turned out to be everything I feared 📌 They really do change -

[@lets-talkautism7133]

I was wondering why everyone speaking about marriage as if marriage saves you from this reality? I am now separated and we have been married for over 9 years. Our relationship have become so toxic that being a christian I know this cannot continue. I rather separate and not remarry for the sake of a healthy lifestyle for our child. Sometimes you have to assess which is healthier; being with both parents under 1 roof or being with both parents separately?

[@DaintyAbby]

So at 21,20 you had children before marriage.. you didn’t go by the bible from the beginning so you can’t use marriage as a crutch right there n then

[@Jasmine-et4zm]

@@DaintyAbby who said anything about "going by the bible?"

[@Jasmine-et4zm]

@@lets-talkautism7133 Exactly!

[@kabbyhearts]

This is exactly why I don't want kids. I'm not trying to put my kids through all that nor myself

[@ELee-zv5ud]

You sound like it is automatic that marriages break up.. It comes down to taking a long time to get to know the person and choosing on shared values. Why do they want to get married, if it's not to building a family but love or lust then NO.

[@kabbyhearts]

You can have a family and not have kids...so I don't get your argument.

[@jonathancastor7563]

@@kabbyhearts exactly I think the same. Uptil now I'm happy I didn't make none. Giving birth is a serious matter , 90% of people don't understand that

[@tapiwakay]

For some having kids is a societal norm checkbox check. They don't think about being the best parent they can be, it never crosses their mind.

[@MrGengad]

@@ELee-zv5ud You can not take too much time to get to know, they all play the sweet card until reality kicks in. I have 2 from a good mother, she is religious and had my kids on wedlock.