Vulnerable Women (An Abusers Perspective)

Are you always finding yourself meeting guys that take advantage of you? Meeting guys that use your kindness against you?! Guys that leave you feeling down, drained, depressed, hurt, afraid or trapped?!
Have you considered you may actually be attracting that type of guy on a 'subconscious' level? Have you considered that abusive men could be attracted to your energy or your traits?
A lot of traits abusers are attracted to in women are actually good traits for any person to have. Some of these traits include being empathetic, caring, compassionate and forgiving. Problem is, over time an abuser will subtly use these traits against you.
It seems you need to be very decerning when displaying these traits around certain people...for some will see it as a weakness....a weakness that they will not hesitate to exploit.
This video focuses on 3 conscious, provocative abusers that look for these particular traits in women, as well as the more obvious traits like naivety, weakness, insecurity etc. Obviously these 3 fictional abusers are not representative of all abusers, but they certainly represent a percentage of them, and this is what I wanted to highlight.
I also wanted to remind parents of the importance of raising their daughters in such a way that abusers on any level will find it hard to manipulate or entangle them in their destructive web.
For more useful information on abuse this is a very resourceful link to look at or to share - www.nhs.uk/Live...

[@lenaharris3817]

You can find the weakness in a man who uses his strength on a woman”

[@michellee2990]

Lena Harris Most men who abuse women are cowards. These type of men will show "strength" around women, but wouldn't dare fight another man.

[@adolfhitler8739]

+MICHELLE E abuse can happen to a mem or woman but the men stay quiet because most of the time they are blamed

[@yvettebennett6320]

Exactly. Friggin loser vibes be evident. We just ignore them.

[@DennisRay99]

They also use shame and guilt

[@elenaanastasi661]

No...thats not true, loads of strong and independent people have been caught in this 'trap too'....some abusers love the challenge!

[@joanflemmingkendrick1107]

Yep! My ex told me when asked why he thought he could get away with his treatment towards me. He replied, "I thought I could break you". My blood ran cold.

[@babyhandgrenade4004]

You're right. I am strong and confident and won't take people's bullshit normally and I got taken in by a narcissist and someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type one but honestly I think he was misdiagnosed and I think he has antisocial personality disorder. I'm no doctor but he exhibits every trade of it. Anyway you're right in saying that even strong women can be taken in by these monsters. People always think that abusers have an anger problem but it's not that it's that they have a flawed belief system where they actually think it's okay to treat people this way. This is exactly what I went through with my ex. He loved the challenge and any time that I had a difference of opinion he when take it as a personal attack and would challenge me on it. I was not allowed to have a different opinion.

[@prettyface192]

Strong an independent but not mentally firm an know thyself an have self love those are the lack in the sum.

[@isabels2973]

Very true.. some abusers like to slowly erode at a very strong woman's esteem and sense of self. Like you said a challenge

[@beckygould7509]

If check the description, it said that this is about a certain type of abuser, not all. Also at the end the men say we’re telling you they his because it’s too easy, we need a challenge, step your game up! Even a smart person can be fooled! That’s why you need to keep your support system sting. Don’t get so into the new guy or gal in your life that you forget your family and friends. Keep your loved ones close and always have a plan B just in case !!!

[@krollpeter]

I thought it is even the opposite. They enjoy breaking down clever and confident women. If a woman is already submissive they can't make up so many reasons to batter her up.

[@spiritofmatter1881]

It is true. There are a type of people who seek people who seem at ease in their own skin to wear them down. What they don't see is that it is exactly those people who will not have their kindness be taken for weakness. It is not the abuser they target but the entire social, political and economic context that contributed to the abuse. The abuser himself can be Hitler. He is still a nobody without society and organizations supporting him.

[@KissesandCurls]

I think every girl is vulnerable even the strongest I've seen broken down by my abuser. Dozens of them. This video hit home though

[@KarinaLicursi]

Kisses and Curls and the reason some men are abusive is because they aren’t allowed to be vulnerable. If boys were allowed to express their feelings this would stop. Not making excuses for them just a fact.

[@MM-yl9gn]

@@KarinaLicursi predators aren't deficient in the ability to express their feelings stifiled by cultural roles nor do they weild their power and control to avoid their own vulnerabilities...predators exploit others vulnerabilities and find delight in the fact that they are capable of maneuvering a piece of the game...if they can move the pawn, they are king without any sense or desire to "appear" vulnerable or express feelings unless it is to move the pawn toward their sinister, alterior motives. Only the victims will ever see this act because to the world and others (whom they are also effectively playing as well) they are aware of these cultural roles...they play them to precision and wear every hat perfectly according to occasion and will never ease off the wave of deception as they surf just atop the crest as it crashes down over those on the surface and drags everyone else below deeper swept up under their undertow. He knows this. He's navigated the seas forever...it's in his blood but he waits until he is home to suck the blood right out of those where warmth and hearth exists because he can't do that exactly when he's "writing business"...he will crash right on down upon opponents because that's how he sees competition...they are surface...superficial...yes...he is somewhat vulnerable...superficial is NOT vulnerable at home though...the undertow...the only feeling derived? Power...the only feeling suppressed? The inability to gain total control and if he can do this with the one person whom he devalues and sees as the weakest possible link (the one whom nature has evolved to be lesser...the virginal claim to unraided land...that which nurtures his sires and royal claim to the thrown...the womb...the blood and the alter of blood sacrifice, he will draw the knife and slit as many throats as he lines up and you can see it in his eyes and comments...watch it in the ways of his hands. Blood lust as old as time. They are not vulnerable nor do they feel but their name is written in stone for thousands of years and their bones are entombed in gold...their digital imprints are forever marked as we embark into the onward press of time. Power is not vulnerable. Power does not feel.

[@Willy-su6dz]

Men are abused too.

[@mommabear5059]

Carus Productions if that were true then all men raised in the same culture would be abusers. Some people (men and women) are just assholes and they enjoy it.

[@marilynmonroe5824]

No not all females are! Some had good insight and heeded the warning signs! Pushing sex too quick is a big red flag, but some abusers will wait so watch out for those dirty birds too! It's not sex they are after, it's your mind and they use sex as the gateway. The old fashioned keep your legs closed works!

[@summerrose5752]

This was an amazingly done video! Oh my gosh, every girl in this generation needs to see this video and come to terms with the truth. And that is there are bad guys out there just waiting to take advantage over you, guys willing to take advantage of your nicer, less confident personality.

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Men with Ritalin addiction are nicer and safer

[@jessimarie4413]

@@fooddrugadministrator4079 🤣🤣

[@andreajanewilliams]

Teach them this at school also. Educate them about the perils of bad relationships.

[@emmapatten]

This really depicts the emotional abuse I went through...especially when he is crying in the floor. :( please note abusers NEVER change.

[@ModestPavement]

That might be true in most cases but I think some can or do. Abusers are often abused themselves. This doesn't make what they have done okay. I have personally seen abusive people turn their lives around and start treating their partners better. This is why labels can be problematic. If someone is labeled as a abuser, that does not give them the room to change. You are entitled to your opinion as many would agree with you. This is just my take.

[@franceshaggitt3104]

My ex got worse

[@jilligain3409]

I've dated men like this. Back in my early 20s I was swept off my feet by the most charming man I've ever met in my entire life who made me feel like a goddess. He was 11 yrs older than me, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe he loved me! Real quick he moved in, & it wasn't long that things took a turn for the worst. (This was back when the Internet wasn't so readily available). I had the good sense to break up w/ him fairly quickly, as he moved right into draining my bank acct, disappearing, claiming he was working OT, or visiting his daughter from a previous marriage. Things like that, that i was able to prove were lies. He also dropped red flags everywhere, once even saying he wished his ex would just die & that he'd poison her, no problem. At first I brushed that off as him being frustrated. But, adding that to the other things he was doing, it was deeply disturbing. No one who's a decent person would ever wish that onto anybody, no matter how bad your relationship was. He was the kind of man that you hear about on a Dateline tv show, who would bate & switch trusting women, & could possibly be capable of murder. He stole my dog after we broke up. And broke into my house, garage, truck, etc. It took me 3 months to get him out of my house. And he spread lies about me at work. Horrible lies too. (We worked at the same place). I got my dog back by the grace of God. Wooooooow, was he one huge lesson for me. I wish I grew up w/ the Internet as things like this are available for you to learn & research. If you have any inkling at all about a person you are involved w/, and your gut is screaming at you. Pls, don't ignore it. Protect yourself & never dismiss your instincts! These type of ppl are master manipulators. And monsters. They don't need saving, they don't need a sympathetic ear or a shoulder or a friend. They purposefully prey on good hearted ppl & enjoy stabbing you in the back & taking you for all you've got

[@lauraleehenry5657]

I completely agree with you. I met a few very handsome drop-dead gorgeous men. I know absolutely nothing about them. But the moment they approached me, something in my gut started screaming run. Believe it or not, I listened to my gut. I never gave them nor myself an opportunity to even finish our conversation and then exchange number. I cut the conversation short and I ran, just as my gut advised.....lol. Not physically of course. I just stop speaking and started ignoring them when they spoke to me. I could possibly be wrong and have missed out on the opportunity to meet two really great guys, but I would rather that be the case than for me to ignore such intense gut feeling and then end up with sociopaths.

[@dawnnicolas7617]

Apparently 60 people did Not want to hear the truth. Knowledge is power and as shocking as this video is it truly hit home and educated me on how to avoid these nasty predators.

[@dawnnicolas7617]

Wow, sickening sad! Very informative video. Well done! Satan in disguise. Be aware ladies, stay vigilant. Be safe, guard your life, your heart, and your money. Make a man earn your love, trust and a place in your life. If it's too good to be true,it most often is. Always trust that inner voice it doesn't lie. I am a 3x survivor of domestic violence and it's embarrassing to think that I trusted. Loved, and gave too much of myself.

[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

Why should we feel embarrassed for being a good hearted person? Society is screwed up and backwards!

[@MariahAurora]

I feel like this is full of stereotypes. Abusers are attracted to strong smart women because they get more out of being able to control them. It's no fun to control somebody who's weak but if you set out to control somebody who's really empowered it's a bigger rush. Everyone needs to be warned about people like this. I feel like there's a lot of victim blaming here implying that it's the woman's fault that she falls for tricks like this.

[@Blessed1283]

They go after strong and weak. It just takes them longer to break down the stronger ones.

[@femininejewel]

the women must not be naive, they will know almost immediately something's off. Even a confident smart empowered woman, if she is naive that's not strength. And such guys WILL know that.

[@May-zl8bf]

This just highlights the types that such predators and abusers are drawn to and can entrap. Stop with the "blaming the victim" thing. It only adds fuel to fire and doesn't address the underlying factors that play into how women, smart and empowered, but also the empathic albeit naive and gullible can become victim to covert abuses by intelligent but dangerous high conflict people. Its a cautionary tale to all women to not become blindsided to red flags and take care with their heart because it can ruin and destroy them mentally, spiritually, financially etc. And we make choices consciously or unconsciously, its a fact and stats speak for themselves that there are correlation with these types of high conflict personalities and their impact in terms of anxiety, depression, gaslighting, paranoia etc so you can lose yourself. Many are survivors and many outgrow certain patterning either from childhood trauma or other such wounding that made them susceptible to dysfunctional or toxic relationships because they start healing and taking ownership of their life. Lets just take on the BIG PICTURE messages of this video and share that.

[@dethkon]

I could pimp the Queen of England (before she passed I mean)

[@fransinclair3356]

They don’t tend to go for women that are powerful and strong

[@snowstormonsat]

I was groomed and programmed to accept abuse as a small child from my psychopath parents. Only thing is I'm not weak and will stand up for myself. I do have boundaries but I keep attracting narcs due to my good nature. They can sniff you out. I dump the guy as soon as he gets violent or cheats. I don't keep them around but have discovered when you break up with them that's when they really turn on you. And that's when it gets scary. My sick mother would get angry with me when I'd break up with a guy who beat me or cheated on me. She would tell me to stay in it anyway cause she did. I was so stupid when I was younger, not realizing that some people are evil to the core with no good in them, preying on good hearted people. As I got older I got wiser, but still the covert narc was slipping through. All my subconscious programming. Sucks but I need to hide my light. I'm a single mom and no longer interested in dating. After years of abuse, what's the point? I use to dream that someday I would find my best friend who cares about me. I feel hopeless and broken hearted cause it never happened for me.

[@lorrecco]

Never lose hope. Focus on you and your kids

[@love4artnl]

I don't want to date either , because of what i have been through .

[@4gma59]

You need to heal from what you grew up with before you can move on to a healthy relationship. Get some counseling -- it's the best thing I ever did. Almost 3 years. If you're attracting men like the ones you've described, there's something you haven't figured out.

[@louisaklimentos7583]

The kind hearted forgiving woman is the one the abusive man goes for .

[@nicolabless9232]

The video was very informative. I’ve gone sexual, verbal and mental abuse. The majority of abusers are narcissist!!! They have no remorse or empathy. I would like to use your video for creating awareness. The frequent question asked, among victims, why do I seem to attract abusers?

[@c.t.8856]

Trust your gut! Do not discount anything. No red flags are minor. After you get burned, don't become infected by their evil. Rise above them, like the phoenix. You will heal, you will live on and you can be better than before. That is your power, that is why they targeted you. You were good supply. Now be great supply to yourself. You deserve it. Peace and love to you.

[@jaygriffith6269]

The women they describe also attract men who want to be their saviours and nurture them

[@jaygriffith6269]

Keep your good traits & ur witts

[@catherinebirch2399]

The comments about raising a confident daughter hit home for me. My father was over critical and was always losing his temper with me over the stupidest things. He would then apologise and I would have no option but to accept for fear of setting him off again. My mother was useless and either blamed me or made excuses for his because of his difficult childhood. I ended up too shy to stand up for myself and would fear confrontation. I know now this is why I attracted toxic people of both sexes when I was younger.

[@michellelanfor4280]

I just got out of a very bad domestic violence relationship with my husband of three years we have two boys 3 and 10months these videos are keeping me strong go though with the devoice when I start getting weak he's trying to convince me now that things will change and be better it's really hard and I often think about going back but I know that's not what's best

[@sobiakhaled4991]

Stay strong. You deserve better life and pls dont go back. You have to think about yourself before anyone else at times and theres nothing wrong abt this. You have a beautiful life ahead and beautiful kids to teach about compassion and love.

[@michellelanfor4280]

Thank you

[@dawnfinch8873]

please i hope. you have not gone back i got out of a 35year abusive marriage never been happier ,stay strong please

[@Chasiraw]

Michelle Lanfor I hope you got out and stayed safe. Be sure to get some counseling.

[@snowstormonsat]

Michelle Lanfor....NEVER GO BACK!!!!

[@jaygriffith6269]

Also ladies be yourself don't worry bout your "game" think more about there's if there's feels off it is ! Run !

[@emilyfrugalsworthkiang2324]

Abusers are drawn to pretty, kind and unsure.

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Men with Ritalin addiction are nice and sexually arouse

[@lucindastewart7997]

Scared me when that guy shouted! 😐

[@emmapatten]

Same

[@SoftCarno-co7wu]

I know of a man who's about 23 and he abuses his mother and sister. He has not gotten physical yet but he does sometimes raise his hand. He yells if he doesn't get his way and he treats his mother like a slave and refuses to move out or let her move out , Telling his mother things like "you cant take care of yourself." and stuff like that. The man calls himself the man of the house and tells his mom and sister that "Everyone has always told me I am the man of the house, which means I am your leader.". The man is sometimes nice but only when his mother and sister refuse him. If they start refusing him and trying to stand up for themselves he becomes nice and will even buy them treats but then he reverts back to being cruel and uncaring. The mother and sister have been thinking of leaving him without warning but fear that if they do he might kill himself or make a scene. Its funny how even though he treats them like complete garbage they still worry and care about him. It almost seems like he doesnt even realize he is being abusive and if someone tells him he is he tries to justify it by saying things like "I have to yell at you or you wont listen." or "your the one making me angry because your too fucking stupid to listen to what I say to you." Hes nice to everyone outside but he treats his mother and sister like they are nothing.

[@baddieeex8497]

That's true, even you girls abuses their mums. these people behave different in schs . silent parents alot in uk and children have law on their side. parents end with financial issues, depression , divorce, Alcoholic, isolation and mentally ill

[@sicah8898]

If you see this or hear it call the police before its too late

[@Chasiraw]

Jessica St.Amand Have you reported this to the police?

[@dawnnicolas7617]

You need to call the police, this man is Very dangerous. He is a manipulator and could very well resort to violence. Don't wait, it could be too late.

[@fatimasarif5975]

Sounds like my brother

[@willowclay3137]

Abusers are losers!

[@nellieponks]

The irony is these traits are those of the Proverbs 31 woman. Those characteristics are held in high esteem in Christianity, to be strived for and accomplished by the woman of noble character. And we die for this.

[@Que772]

It's sad because I thought women are supposed to be vulnerable. Without forgiveness, where would the world be? I understand because I was a forgiving person. It's the Christian thing to do. Now I will forgive and move on

[@chrisharris2367]

But you can't be too nice as a woman You have to use discernment

[@4gma59]

@Que772: Forgiveness is essential -- because it sets YOU free, not your abuser. You can forgive them, and you can even love them. But there is NOTHING in the Bible that says you have to trust them again. Because you can't.

[@mentak2593]

Teach your sons how to treat women decently, that should be the first video made! Always put the responsibility on women?

[@willowclay3137]

I can see through all their bs now!

[@JCannon2010]

Thank-you so much for this. This is the only video I've seen that actually captures how and why abusive relationships happen. I have seen so many people make comments in the past about how "if all your exes were abusive, it probably means you were abusive. " NO! The least abusive members of society are usually the ones MOST likely to be singled out for abuse, because they don't recognize it - they are blindsided.

[@jaynejarvis5226]

I have been though this, getting stronger by the day.

[@heidithomas5455]

This is so true. Woman do the same thing to emotional men. One reason abuse happens over and over is ladies love the confident bad boy....men also like the crazy bad girl. Abuse works both ways.

[@hedgemist691]

Not as much it doesn't. There are many more female victims of domestic abuse, many women are murdered by these men.

[@JCannon2010]

Actually thats complete bullshit. The majority of abusers will sneak into your life playing the part of the shy, reserved and general good-doer person who's had a few bumps in life. They make you feel sorry for them, and use your sympathy against you.

[@ashlieprussey5426]

The only abuse women do more is financial.

[@heidithomas5455]

@@ashlieprussey5426 Actually, men do not report abuse as readily as women do. The male ego is fragile, and men have a very difficult time saying they were raped, sexually assaulted, or physically assaulted. Many men do not have issues with talking about the verbal abuse, financial abuse or psychological abuse they have faced, but in many cases the verbal abuse is only the tip of the iceberg. Johnny Depp, Brendan Frazer, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, James Van Der Beek and so many others are opening up now, but they are still the minority. What about all the others who haven't reported abuse, or who report it after they themselves have been arrested or OD'ed like Scott Weiland, DMX, and R. Kelly. Too many men go unseen and unheard. Besides, how open is society to hear of men being abused? How many people wanted to believe Corey Feldman and his abuse allegations? How many people are going to try to say, No way. R.Kelly was never abused. This is fake. Therefore, how many men do not stand up for themselves, because they know people just don't believe men are also abused? How much can a man endure before they break, and why are they not being helped with their mental health issues after such trauma?

[@denelll.bennettsurvivorwar8224]

What a Fantastic Video! If only I knew this before...

[@marilynmonroe5824]

All women know to keep their legs closed in the early stages so it's choosing not to wait that gets you in the most trouble, but sex is the gateway abusers use to get control of your mind. It's not slut shaming these days, it's just good sense!

[@eatfastlive2870]

this was one of the most powerful videos I have ever seen. thank you so much for making it!! wow!

[@BVking509]

This happened to my friend, she escaped into drugs and to this day goes missing, remains traumatised and can’t find help.

[@tearthangel373]

Listen to your gut and feelings in your body

[@sonyaspanik3492]

Great work ! I love how u broke this down for others to see

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Men with Ritalin addiction are nice and sexually arouse

[@SunFlowur]

So that's why my husband was so peppy during the year I suffered horrible post pardom depression

[@ashlieprussey5426]

Same, he hung out with heroine addicts while I was post partum with my son.

[@graceyoung516]

your vulnerability empowers us !!! Very true. Vulnerability = Powerv imbalance = Power over weaker ones !!!

[@NegativeMass85]

Brilliant! One of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long time. This needs to be shared!

[@jasonsandifer3250]

These stories very disturbing, and very upsetting, this man was extremely cruel and Very violent This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch I hope this Woman Survived this terrible situation and left this very violent situation Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man.... Beating a woman is Not masculine Beating Women is NOT sexy Beating Women is NOT manly Using abuse, and force for sexual intimidation, by harmful behavior for sexual intimacy with someone doesn’t make a man, strong, cool, or, manly. I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman: For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable... Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe... No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often. Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been... My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior, I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others... Keep everyone SAFE PLEASE BE SAFE Your Life is important Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate Jason Sandifer, Michigan MESSAGE REPOSTED 10/16/2021, 10/30/2021

[@kjtamf]

Thankyou god for this video 🙏🏻❤️ This should be shown in schools definitely 🙏🏻

[@FreddieandBrenda]

My husband verbally and physically abuses me. The verbal part is the worst. He always says, I shouldn't have married you, I get on his nerves, I'm a phycho, I'm going to hell, I'm a pig, I caused my last husband to cheat, I'm fat, fat head, and the list goes on.. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018 and I'm in remission, but he knows that I need him ,I'm sick and weak tired everyday. My family says, leave him, but I have no car,no family and no money, so you tell me what I should do... I had a house before we married but I sold it. He belittles me everyday, I feel so sad and worthless 😞..someone please help me

[@mharidunlop4427]

I see what you're trying to do, and it's great that you're trying to help, but a few things. First, "we stay well away from confident, empowered, well informed and self assured women with the ability to see through us." I don't think you'll find this is necessarily the case, more a stereotype. I know in my case I was very happy, confident and successful, and the control and abuse started so slowly in my relationship - which was initially very equal. In my family I'm known for being stubborn and outspoken. Not all victims are shrinking violets, and it's damaging to portray us as such. It's damaging because a key factor in the cycle of abuse is women blaming themselves, feeling guilty - so starting your video with a negative reinforces this. Having said that, the traits of being forgiving, trying to see the best in people, believing they can change, etc I think (in my experience) are common in women who have been abused. I've noticed that a large proportion of my fellow nurses have had at least one abusive relationship. Secondly, the tone of this video is very threatening. I almost switched it off because if you've been in a relationship of this type it's difficult to see the escalation scenes. I think "triggering" is sometimes overused, but I doubt you'll see abuse charities sharing your video for this reason. Abuse doesn't come with creepy music and dark rooms. The first scene in particular, coupled with all the "look at all the things that are wrong with you...needy...desperate...conform..." This is the way an abuser speaks, you've got it right, but as I've said before it's negative reinforcement and it doesn't help us. Lastly, perhaps you need to rethink your audience. Your description says it's for women who find themselves always attracted to abusers, and I've said why I don't think this video would help them - but perhaps it could help women who've not yet experienced abuse - although even then the negative stuff at the beginning might be a problem. 4 years ago, I would have watched this and thought, "well, I am forgiving and want to help people, but I'm definitely not needy, and I'm pretty confident, so I'm not at risk from these guys. This picture shows me and my abuser at the beginning of our relationship. Do I look like someone who lacks confidence? i.imgur.com/r2HAH.jpg

[@creativeintelligence7838]

+Mhari Dunlop Thank you for watching and thank you so much for commenting and sharing your valued feedback.I wanted this video to inspire debate and more discussion on this complicated subject, so I welcome yours and other people’s views. Many abusers do stay well away from confident, empowered, well informed and self-assured women with the ability to see through them...I think that goes without saying. But I’m fully aware that this isn’t always the case. For its known that some abusers actually go after confident, empowered women as they find it a rewarding challenge to break them down. These 3 particular abusers in my video do tend to go for that stereo type as well as the not so stereo typical women. But overall they are mainly drawn to the women who display the traits I listed....and these traits are often shared by nearly all women who end up being in abusive relationships. I wanted to really highlight these traits as its often these unobvious traits that will cause a confident self-empowered women to wake up and find themselves in the midst of an abusive relationship and wonder how she got there. Her friends and family will wonder too as on the surface it will make no sense. The debate we should really be having is...how discerning should a woman be with these traits I mention? For these traits are great traits to have. It could even be argued that if everyone shared these traits and qualities our society/world would be a better place. The problem is if you display these traits to the wrong men, they will use those same good traits against you. So where should a woman draw the line with her kindness, empathy and forgiving nature? I’m hoping this video will cause women to take an honest look inwards to see if they too have the qualities and traits I mention. And then if they do, I encourage them to use those traits with discernment. I also encourage them to raise their children to become aware of the traits they’re consciously and subconsciously sending out too...then show them how to use them with discernment, in any way they can. I certainly don’t have all the answers and I couldn’t tell you specifically who this video will or won’t help. I can however guarantee that if watched in its entirety it will cause viewers to look inwards...and its through looking inwards that solutions are found, healing begins, lessons are learnt, growth can occur and honest meaningful discussions can be had. I will be doing more videos on this topic. Would be great to connect again.

[@mharidunlop4427]

+Creative Intelligence Thank you for such a thoughtful response, I will look out for more videos from you.

[@imperialhistory]

@@creativeintelligence7838 Perhaps discuss what type of men go after these traits so people know what to look for.

[@whotelakecity2001]

Yes, thank you. This is definitely thumbs down video and very victim blaming. If these guys did a video on raising awareness against rape, it would be all about how your skirt was too short, you showed too much cleavage, walked home alone too late at night, didn't watch your drink, lead him on, etc. You get the drift. How about laying the blame, shame and the responsibility where it really belongs- with the perpetrators. Being empathetic and kind makes one human, not a victim.

[@MM-yl9gn]

@@whotelakecity2001 nefarious dramatization of what to warn our daughters of so that they are aware of the lurking dangers...if you choose to wear a shirt that exposes yourself and skirt that invites a trail walking home alone at night after the bar...there are predators lurking in the shadows who will see a sitting duck and opportunity to strike. Warn your innocent daughters!

[@karmafsp6704]

Awesome video! All I can say is Thank you so much!

[@yvonnecolema9666]

I showed this video to a Church audience. They were astonished. That was four years ago. Now, I'm going to use the transcript in my Podcast because the video is still so very powerful, even today. I hope that's okay.

[@kaelightupthedark]

I make excuses for him all the time my mum lost it yesterday she said I have a trauma bond an so here I am watching these

[@nataliejune84]

@Creative Intelligence Thank You so much. Myself and others have shown this to friends and family members. Before seeing your video people didn't understand the seriousness of this. I believe that it's very hard to understand this type of abuse unless you have been thru it. However after myself and others showed your video to family and friends we all had similar experiences. They finally understood and they wanted to help. Before this we were isolated, felt trapped and everything felt hopeless. We had grown and knew what we had been dealing with yet we had no idea how to get out. The lies, smears, many many years wasted it seemed hopeless. This is worse when you know what you are dealing with and want out yet you feel like you have been drained by a vampire that feeds of your emotions and thus you now have nothing left. After your video was shared people started reaching out. They understood. Parents let their daughters move home while going thru divorces, friends offered their homes and support. Your video has changed and I believe saved lives. Myself and others can not thank you enough God Bless You!!!

[@CandelaZarauzCCC]

WOW, wait what ive just seen! Pure goold

[@amazingsoapfarmyardcollect7406]

Thanks a good video instead of all of this hairy fairy fluffy depression mental health nonsense. a perfect example of the mindset of some predator guys. it took balls. well done lads. great way to get the message across.The psychiatrists get paid a fortune for utter crap ..id rather pay you guys to give a talk at the women's center .reality checks are priceless

[@graceyoung516]

The best film about this topic - EVER !!! 🏆🥇

[@eibhlinnichrualoai]

How about a video targeting narcissistic sociopaths to change their behaviour instead of trying to constantly clean up their mess? I think self love is more imperative than “knowing yourself “.. you can know you’re an addict- but that doesn’t stop you from using ✌️

[@Creative_ntel]

It's hard to love a 'self' you don't know. Knowing yourself is imperative .

[@acceptingWhatIS]

Thank you for this film - it may have woken me up sooner to see my story exactly mirrored. i was empathic and alone in his country and raged at daily which made me a nervous wreck.

[@roxpearcerp]

I have just come across this video,This is so accurate look at what has happened to me until I saw this I didn't realise it .

[@RHathemoment]

Very, very good video. 👍 Informative. We need a lot more like this. Great awareness. 💛💛.

[@123.earlystart]

So sad good qualities like compassion and empathy will be used against you. Good video, very revealing.

[@chardillon3175]

I want to know, how do you know; we woman could be attracted to the same type of (person), abusive relationship? honestly I keep ended up in the same kind and thinking he's the good guy but turns out he's like the rest I dated, all the emotions involved as well!

[@samboriboun7866]

Hes probably good looking

[@nataliejune84]

@@samboriboun7866 Extremely charming, seems to good to be true.

[@the8thchurch461]

​@@samboriboun7866Indeed, these "alpha males" who have everything such as looks, brains and maybe even wealth from parents, are the worst. Just look for a nice guy who is not necessarily struggling but knows something about hard work, is intelligent and respects his parents and elders.

[@neowaifu]

1:04 reminds me so much of my abuser.

[@nancygonzales8477]

Video well put together thank you because more women need to hear and see things like this

[@klattalexis]

Inmates at our local prison have programs offered & due to boredom, many take all the offered programs & even get their diplomas. Why am I typing this??? Because I heard an inmate say that predators can smell victims a mile away. Apparently we give off some kind of scent or something that gets picked up on predator's radar & they can pick out victims out of a room full of people. So if it is really a scent, if victims wear heavy perfume, can we disguise that scent we're supposedly giving off or is it something else & not a scent at all???

[@JCannon2010]

its how your eyes move when you look around the room, the position you sit in, the was you walk, how much you fidget with fingers etc etc

[@tracystevens2290]

Wow thank you an amazing tool I can use to educate the younger women in my life thank you

[@YoshiIsCool1]

Make Me Sick

[@racheledwards2352]

Let's be realistic this is ALL men

[@sashasg11]

Thank you. This made so much sense

[@suzierelf7455]

Plus most have mother wounds ,they hate women but can't live without them

[@SMH-vi4ht]

Vulenerable woman who also see through you, are your favorit.

[@keeganlshoemate6291]

Pray for me

[@crazycats535]

This was excellent.

[@sandypaz2335]

Thank you!!!!

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

Thank me when I say men with Ritalin addiction are nicer and sexually arouse

[@juanitasullivan3372]

Within a minute of this video starting, I saw BS. Also read it in the intro! These men will go after any type of woman no matter how strong or weak they come across. So that is total BS! They just work harder on the stronger women. I don't know if these guys are actors or what, but after 1 minute, I'm not watching any more of this nonsense. Been there and done that so I know what I'm talking about here. Also, insinuating that nicer women attract these guys is over the top! Even worse, insinuating they should watch who they are nice around, is just ignorant!

[@mommabear5059]

Juanita Sullivan you don’t know if they’re actors???? You can’t tell that this is an educational video??? 🤦‍♀️

[@juanitasullivan3372]

@@mommabear5059 Considering I'm an abuse survivor, I know more about this subject than I want to. Since I sensed the BS at the start I did NOT watch much of this. You might want to go try and shame someone else because it doesn't work with me!

[@maryanngray6665]

Your right, warn your daughters let them c this video

[@lovemquiz]

What happened to these men? Why they became that way?

[@smasherjosh5000]

Usually upbringing, A lot grew up witnessing their fathers abusing their mothers and probably were abused as well

[@lovejohnmerc5269]

@@smasherjosh5000 hurting men and women are affecting each other and the development of the children. We need to heal each other so our children have better chances of becoming healthier adults.

[@smasherjosh5000]

@@lovejohnmerc5269 it does indeed. Unfortunately some refuse to do so and things like this happen and the cycle continues

[@charlenemoody4496]

NOTTA ONE OF THESE BUMS COULD GET A CONVERSATION...WHAT THE FUDGE HAPPENED TO THE OTHER SIDE OF DUDES HAIR,,,AND THE SCHOOL BOY ACNE..HELL TO THE NAW NAW NAAAAAAAAW!!!!

[@Willy-su6dz]

Men get abused too

[@teresacullen8838]

They waiting with phones to record us I was targeted through work 😷

[@labazoops]

Great Video So true !

[@creativeintelligence7838]

+Patty S Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment :)

[@franetica123]

2:44 EYE OPENING

[@carlabroderick5508]

Women should stop accepting a relationship with men who likely abused their former partner. The world is full of women who believe men deserve for this past to be forgotten. Examples are three famous men whose second partner ignored the past. Stienbeck and Onassis forced their partners to have abortions. Picasso was a serial abuser who used the beauty of women as inspiration, so accumulated new partners like canvases. These men’s subsequent partners were powerful women, however, and seem to have succeeded in their relationship in until the death of these men. Picasso’s pronouncement that some women are door mats, others goddesses, is horribly prophetic. Two of his wives committed suicide. Consider Diego Rivera’s opinion that “women are machines for suffering.”

[@Indigenousaustralian]

But when you try to stand up, you get hit 😰😰😰

[@kaelightupthedark]

He left something at my place last night so he had an excuse to come back tonight i see right through him

[@name-ce7sn]

Mine threatens me to get his stuff back. When I stand my ground he ramps up the threat. Leaves his stuff so he can use threats to get back in. I'm scared to not be in because he may boot the door off.

[@stickshift3204]

It can also be the other way around

[@marisafaith8664]

What about *Pandora's box* "Vulnerable men?"

[@mayvortjarnberg6778]

Great!!! 👍👍👍👍👍

[@abeltesfaye_]

Some of the messaging in this is just false. It seeks to ignore or even misinform that "strong" women aren't/can't also be abused, which couldn't be further from the truth!!

[@celebrity_rooster7488]

Vulnerable Women (An Abusers Perspective) aka Lazy Women (A Megalomaniacs Perspective)

[@al.g9534]

Abusive people do change God is love and eventually love does transform people. Love is stronger than any broken soul…any follower of Christ knows this. I’m not saying allow manipulation but honest word and love will change a person like this

[@4gma59]

Oh no they don't. If you aren't the type to have standards, they know it. If you stick to your standards they can't run game on you. That pisses them off and reveals a side you haven't seen before -- which should be a red flag for any smart woman. If you stick to your standards, eventually they get sick of waiting and move on to the next victim -- the woman with weak standards and trusts too quickly. If you stick to your standards, your average jerk will either shape up or be gone before too much damage is done. An abuser won't be that patient. The women in previous comments who say they go after strong women too --- they do. But most of those strong women ignored the signs. The signs are always, always, always there. You can forgive and you can love them. But you do NOT have to trust them. Go ahead and love them...but from way over there>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

[@suzierelf7455]

No some abuser go for confidence and strong women, ots a challenge to break them ,I did think the traits they go for in a person is correct though, green and red relationship flags should be taught in schools ,

[@MistresstheMediator]

Wow!!! 👌👌

[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

I want to know why!!!So be a good hearted person and become a victim!???? Wtf!!!

[@crissieroserose]

very useful video thank you

[@Annai_]

The yelling gave me hella ptsd woah

[@mini-mum253]

Great vid though, appreciated.....

[@gogetter3721]

Brilliant

[@ThePyramidSystem]

Wow. I feel a little sick

[@lindaj7167]

So true!

[@fabstouchcosmetics3191]

My God. I'm shocked

[@MsRayDG]

WHY??? :(

[@Ayitiana]

Teach ya sons too

[@noneofyourbusinessgotthat4444]

they do it because they can

[@fooddrugadministrator4079]

This abusers need Ritalin SR

[@insidebg8959]

ok but that dont told me enythinhg about the abusers prespective.Its all about the bad things.I want know their explonation like i want control thats why,or i feel weak.Becouse in the abuse the foult is 50/50.That video is like the abusers is bad,100% their foult.

[@shimpashields983]

This is incorrect. Many abusers see self assured smart women as a challenge

[@swaysavage579]

this is hilarious😂

[@ishloveheart7487]

Sway Savage your Dumb I can't wait until someone does this to you then you will find it funny, my mother had this before she was in love with my dad and without him he would of been dead, its not funny its sad.

[@sansimi]

Have you got a conscience?