HAES vs Weight Loss | Where I Stand

[@Mt-kd8gl]

When you said, "I think I've just gotten so caught up in the social justice aspect and the political correctness of the none diet movement..that I feel like I've kind of lost touch with my true purpose as a Registered Dietitian and that is ultimately to help improve individuals' well being and health, both physical and emotional health." I was just sitting here marveling at your willingness to be this genuine and transparent. It is really rare. I think most of us have our own ideology/agenda that stems from our experience, but to actually see it in ourselves, admit it, and say it publicly, takes a lot of strength. I think you're right. It is very complex. But true health should be the primary goal to strive for.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Mita1 thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@insideself1471]

Yes, I loved this aspect too. x

[@kell_checks_in]

BULLSHIT. Have you done any research outside your own mirrored, uninformed assumptions? THIS IS NOT WHAT HAES IS ABOUT.

[@Chris-MusicTheoryAndFretboard]

The problem I have with "intuitive eating" is that the food environment itself is not intuitive. RDs seem to be afraid to criticize the food environment created by capitalism.

[@AshIsAWolf]

I think this was started to be touched on in her mukbang video. People gorging for some sponsorship and ad revenue. But it's got to keep on going from there ya know

[@thesleeplater]

!!!! Lol wow this really hit me. Exactly this!

[@Tangerinka410]

Finally, this is the point. I wonder that people always never mention it. Diet culture plays role only for people who are sensitive to it, the addictive non-natural food designed to confuse our hunger signals has impact on EVERYONE.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Good point! I’ll try to address more of this and be more mindful

[@marcojavier94]

YES YES YES!!!!!

[@elephas33]

Being a part of the HAES community almost killed me. Morbidly obese as a teen and believing that I was healthy and happy until my mid 30's when the obesity risk factors hit me in the face, almost ending my life. Over a decade of being nearly 300 pounds, but having perfectly normal blood panels, then turned into hypertension, plantar fasciitis, chronic shoulder and back pain, diabetes, pcos and cancer, which took my reproductive organs and any chance of giving my son a sibling. I was run over by everything health professionals said I would get, starting at 35 years old. And when I began my health journey, losing 70 pounds, reversing my diabetes and curing myself of the painful, chronic inflammation, the HAES community turned on me. I was now the enemy promoting diet culture. The HAES community is dangerous for so many women. Love yourself in every stage of your journey because your human and your beautiful, but life is a journey and health is a part of that. It can save your life.

[@julielafford8315]

Keep being a moderate, science-informed voice.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Julie Lafford thanks 🙏🏼❤️

[@sarahvand3628]

@@AbbeysKitchen I had a terrible dietician who because I didnt want to/couldnt eat 4 meals a day, basically dismissed me lol (I have digestive issues so that was too much eating for me) and I was looking for diet vids and came across yours and I really appreciated your approach and sensitivity especially with eating disorders. So thank you and keep being vunerable and sharing the 'grey space' ❤❤

[@tamarblackburn4312]

As someone who doesn’t have an eating disorder and would like to lose weight, mostly because of physical comfort, I find it difficult to find nutritional advice that is helpful. I like my body, but I felt better when I was lighter, especially for my back and knees. I know dieting can be harmful and so I don’t do it, but I don’t lose weight from exercise. I feel like a lot of advice comes from people who have or have had EDs, and that can sometimes impact advice in a way which makes it less relevant to me. Like, going all in just doesn’t seem very relevant to my situation. Anyway, I really appreciate your videos, thanks Abbey.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Tamar Blackburn ❤️🙏🏼

[@tamarblackburn4312]

@@AbbeysKitchen btw it was you who made me realize my relationship with food is actually quite healthy, I wasn't sure before because my parents' isn't, so thank you Abbey :)

[@geniej2378]

Same here! I found keeping a food diary a good tool, even though it's a bit tedious. It's easier to find patterns of overeating (especially if you track time of meals as well).

[@Nagutama]

Join Macros Inc on Facebook. Best group ever.

[@Jadeikens]

Tamar Blackburn this was me in the beginning of the year now I’ve lost 35 lbs and I honestly feel so much better in my body movements and mobility. I did limit calories with the help of a fit bit but I wasn’t super strict and never got mad at myself if I didn’t stay completely on track just saw it as part of the journey, now I’ve maintained for 4 month just eating intuition

[@Mezog001]

Okay I got to comment because I never see anyone talk about this. HAES does not address the emotional factors of people over eating. I'm speaking from experience here. As I have a strong tendency to eat my feelings and am in the process of correcting that behavior. RDs really need to preface every conversation on weight loss and health with emotional health will make it very hard to drop weight and keep it off. People really need to deep dive their own mind and understand their trauma.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Frank Myers thanks for your thoughts!

[@sophiec5578]

imo this is why so many people are overweight/obese (because of unacknowledged/untreated issues with their emotional and mental health)

[@sarahvand3628]

Totally and the social group pressure to eat

[@catskilton1511]

I love this video. As someone who has had an ED and gone through the fanatical world of diet culture with its burning and imperative truths I think we need to live in the grey. I have recently found myself becoming as fervent about HAES and intuitive eating as I was about only eating a sweet potato in the light of the full moon (or whatever that months fad was). And i found the new found worship of HAES was creating a disconnect between what I want from a health point of view and what I want for myself aesthetically. And that was causing as much mental distress as diet culture. I completely agree we have the right to want to change our bodies, and love your message of getting safe and research driven advice over dangerous and unscientific guidance from an unqualified youtuber. In the grey both health and aesthetic are possible and not incompatible. I also believe that if we work towards change with love for ourselves instead of from a place of hate and disappointment with our bodies it can be a positive experience. Great video.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Cat Skilton love to hear that 🙏🏼❤️

[@alexazuber9556]

So important! As a fellow RD I have felt this way since HAES and IE started becoming more and more mainstream. Like I absolutely want to acknowledge that people shouldn't feel the NEED to diet/ change their body to be valued or seen as healthy, but also I don't think it makes you a bad person to have aesthetic goals or to want to lose weight if you know it will positively impact your overall health and wellness. It's definitely becoming harder to stay in the grey with how polarized the issue has become. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Alexa Zuber yes 🙌🏼❤️

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Sure, diets don't work, but a lifestyle change ALWAYS works. It really upsets me that so many are taking diet culture and the obesity epidemic (people LITERALLY losing their legs, finding themselves unable to walk or to have sex, people dying before their kids have been raised) and running with them both and acting like they're two sides of the same coin. I'm a body positive person, I don't believe in diet culture, but I am all for encouraging people to be healthy whilst accepting that some people don't want to be healthy and that's fine if that's their decision. I just really hate the whole debate at this point. People care more about being right/not facing up to uncomfortable feelings and bad habits, than they care about their own health and the health of others :( (btw - loved this video!)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Melanie Murphy thank you 🙏🏼

[@xtinkerbellax3]

I get not wanting to hurt someone's feelings or be seen as mean but that has clearly taken priority over health.

[@jennah9029]

I agree with you 100%. I was one of those people at 220lbs overweight. I've lost 82lbs so far and am still on my journey but I find it offensive and hurtful when people shame me for wanting to lose weight. I was on the verge of buying a walker or wheelchair because I couldn't walk.

[@mtngrace123]

What did you do to lose weight? I tend to get obsessed when I try but I am 220 and sick of it. I am a size 16 and 5’6 so nothing extreme but I am uncomfortable. So sick of it.

[@franklinfernandes5593]

Thank you for expressing this in a so eloquent way, thank u 🧪🙏

[@caralawson9616]

We need people who are in the middle to bring both sides back down to earth and see things from a different perspective. I totally think dieting can be damaging to our mental health ,and I really appreciate when rd's put a focus on broader lifestyle changes vs. temporary diets. Thanks for being the supportive person you are on this platform

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Cara Lawson ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@gmr2broadway]

I’ve lost 110 pounds over the last two years. I did that through many means, including bariatric surgery this summer. My first fifty pounds was lost “on my own”, the latter pounds lost with the aid of the surgery, meeting with my health team that includes an RD, adhering to a new, intuitive way of eating, and a great fitness journey. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this video. I totally agree that insidious diet culture must be called out. We CAN have health at every size. But I, at nearly 200 lbs overweight, was not healthy. Diabetes and heart disease was a near certainty in my future, and I didn’t feel good. Now I’ve completed a couch to 5k and am able to move and thrive in ways I never thought possible. It has been very frustrating to hear HAES adherents in my life comment on my journey. They are often almost dismissive of my efforts and successes. Because they are so religiously devoted to the HAES philosophy, their comments on my journey seem to hint that they think it’s irrelevant. It isn’t irrelevant, and it was necessary for me. Not everyone needs or wants to do what I did. Your explanations in this video are so beautifully balanced. Much love to you!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

gmr2broadway thank you 🙏🏼

[@trashukun3787]

I lost 60kg in less than a year just eating as much meat as I want and not being hungry all day. :D

[@brittniep9219]

Perfectly said!

[@bhadgyaledds3333]

Right I believe in body positivity and loving yourself at any size but I don’t think extreme sizes are healthy I feel like I need to lose 20 pounds to be at my healthiest weight although I’m genetically on the chubbier side I just feel like it has gone too far

[@bhadgyaledds3333]

Right I believe in body positivity and loving yourself at any size but I don’t think extreme sizes are healthy I feel like I need to lose 20 pounds to be at my healthiest weight although I’m genetically on the chubbier side I just feel like it has gone too far

[@lese91]

It’s so freaking cool that you came on here and admitted that you may not have viewed weight-loss from every point-of-view as successfully as you would’ve liked. As a PA, I think you give great advice on how to speak kindly to patients about diet in a way that won’t shut them down. It’s really tough to see a majority of patients today suffering from chronic diseases that likely occur in a large part due to diet and obesity: hypertension, diabetes mellitus, early onset degenerative changes in weight bearing joints, etc. It’s a fine line to tread trying to educate your patients on a healthy lifestyle in a way that’s helpful and not shameful. It’s such a common healthcare concern in today’s patients that we really should get more education as providers on how to best treat our patients with obesity because most of us suck at it.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Janie Tyrell ❤️❤️❤️

[@hillarymaxson4451]

Everyone's relationships with food are so different based on our experiences, so I can see how this is such a complicated and deeply personal debate. I remember in a previous video you mentioned that calorie counting was not good, and I remember feeling a little alienated because calorie counting helped me realize, one, that I was under eating, and two, that because I was under eating I was probably struggling with depression. In the end, calorie counting helped my overall health, physically and mentally. That being said, I understand why you give this advice because calorie counting can be dangerous for a person who has a different relationship with food. I think these issues are complicated and it is okay to take a nuanced approach.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Hillary M for sure!

[@terapia.desenredada]

I totally agree with you. Everyone’s experience is different. For instance I became very dogmatic and I only wanted to eat “clean foods”. I got eczema and I realized not everything is about food. I was eating so clean, paleo, 0 refined sugar and carbs. But I was so overwhelmed about my food decisions. In the past, I have done food tracking especially because I tend to eat low amounts of protein and it actually helped me to realize that my skin needs protein. I also got a very bad acne went I stopped eating animals because I wasn’t getting enough protein. It’s crazy because I thought “eating animals” get helped me clear my acne but the reality was the protein helped me to clear my acne. So tracking food or in your case calories can help. I never get obsessed about calories but I did about eating only Whole Foods. Now I enjoy my sourdough bread with lots of butters and croissants 🥐🥰

[@daniellewegner3380]

@@terapia.desenredada animal products and sugar cause a lot worse problems than acne. Better to not eat those and have acne than eat them and have heart disease, cancer or depression. Low protein isn't good but adequate protein intake can definitely be achieved without eating animal products. Tracking protein could make sure you get enough protein while also not using dangerous foods to get there. There's more to life than food but food choices affect every single area of life, mental health included. Added sugars significantly increase risk of depression. For example. Refined grains have a slew of real dangers as well. So although life is about more than food, it's important to make healthy food choices to preserve those other areas of life.

[@lauracoleman3077]

Putting aside your personal beliefs to be more professional is always very hard to do. This video proved that you’re willing to acknowledge your biases and find the best way to help clients reach their goals based on science. I’ve always loved your videos but this one really stuck with me. Thank you for being willing to challenge yourself and go the extra mile just to help people!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Laura Coleman ❤️❤️

[@iannawasser6247]

One of my most favorite quotes is: "Your best weight is whatever weight you reach when you're living the healthiest life you ACTUALLY enjoy" The pursuit of HEALTH is still important even if it doesn't directly impact weight. Working on improving your health overall is important.

[@bhadgyaledds3333]

Wow best comment ever!!

[@lounakin]

The fact that the comment about projecting 'hit you hard' is proof that you are a person who will question themselves. I think it's a great testament to your abilities. Someone like you will never stop learning, developing skills and ultimately helping people. Your approach to health really resonates with me because of the intuitive side, (I don't think anyone can dispute the fact that we've lost touch with ourselves in this society) and the fact that you are not rigidly locked in your own mind is a breath of fresh air. So many people these days are glued to their own ideals, so much so that it doesn't make any sense anymore.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

lounakin thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@LoveYourselfHealthy]

We love a self aware queen 👑 💜

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yka Marie 🙏🏼❤️

[@lexiPB81]

I currently work with an RD, which is why I follow you, because I have no room in my life for this kind of stuff from anyone who doesn't have advanced degrees in it. My RD is a part of the mindfulness research lab at UMass Medical School in Worcester, MA, and has taught me so much about how mindfulness can play a role in my life in general and in how I manage my relationship with food. She has helped me to tune in to what makes me feel my best, how my energy, mood, digestion, etc respond to different foods, meal times, amounts of food, etc. Thanks for doing what you do! I love having thoughtful, reflective, evolving humans with actual degrees in the youtube and social media sphere. There's so much misinformation out there that this is content I love supporting.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lexi Alm thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@Writing-joy]

I have SO much respect! I am so tired of people being “demonized” for wanting to lose weight for whatever the reasons may be. It’s a personal choice and NO BODY should be shamed for it.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Olgaplus4 Gav ❤️❤️

[@deviwhitt]

As someone who has lost 20+ pounds this year, I can say that my reason for weight loss started as wanting to be "smaller", but as the weight started to come off, I realized how much more clear headed I am, how much better I feel daily, and my goals began to change. I'm not saying that you can't be overweight and be mentally healthy, but for me, added more wholefoods back into my diet and being active more frequently has massively improved my health both mentally and physically. I guess that's why this really resonates with me, because I don't think I should be shamed for wanting to lose weight for physical reasons, I also don't think people should be shamed for wanting to stay exactly as they are if they feel good. Your openness, realness and point of view on this topic, is one that I think a lot of people can relate to, and I'm glad it being shared.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Devin Whit thank you 🙏🏼

[@immunity_berry]

Perhaps talk about iron deficiency? I was feeling tired all the time and blaming myself personally for it, lazy, unmotivated etc.... When I started treating my low iron, I truly felt like myself again, and I wish I could have learned about this sooner! Thanks! This was a great video, and we need more of this on the internet!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Luisa Masclans I’ll write it down!

[@protectedlands2869]

Highly relatable

[@orfhlaith]

B12 deficiency too (and not just from a vegan diet)

[@mariafordon121]

I relate to this so much! Getting my iron and thyroid levels in check really improved my mental health.

[@juicysatsumabeauty]

D3 is another important one. Especially in the northern hemisphere.

[@elizabetho7654]

"I just got so caught up in the justice aspect." I respect your integrity. The quote about letting clients be martyrs for the Cause rocked me and put into words the unease I've felt on this whole topic. I appreciate that you're seeking Truth on this.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Elizabeth O'Meara 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@mindyhartwick9708]

I lost 100 pounds and have kept it off for 7 years, so diets do work if you do it as a lifestyle change and not just a temporary way of eating until you drop the weight.

[@mindyahartwick8214]

moths from neptune I try to focus on getting plenty of protein in my meals to avoid being hungry, but I do have days where I am hungrier. I try to snack on healthy foods on those days. I also work out so that helps with burning extra calories.

[@devenblackwell5690]

@moths from neptune Try making sure your meals are full of fiber and protein to keep you full.

[@MangoMintMickey]

Personally I see dieting as a short term scheme that may or may not fit in with someone’s overall lifestyle whereas when people preach “diets that work” it’s like you said- it’s completely a lifestyle change. If changing your diet and lifestyle doesn’t align with your values you’re going to have a hard time.

[@barbarafox5989]

Abbey, this is amazing! How much better would the world be if it were full of people who admitted not to having all of the answers and didn’t just pick a side without being informed and empathetic? This example of “good humaning” goes WAY beyond nutrition!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Zorosgal NYC aw yes I agree

[@kimoose8]

It is demoralizing when you know losing weight would help improve your health, but you also know from experience that diets backfire and don’t work for you long-term. When you can’t see the way forward, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Hearing Abby grapple with these issues along with me is somehow helpful and hopeful.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

kimoose8 I’m so glad it’s been helpful

[@meganwilson8465]

I'm currently in school to become an RD and this video has been so inspiring. I used to be very overweight and on my own, I found my own version of health. in doing this, I found my passion for nutrition. Every video you post gives me so much motivation and you have been such an inspiring person to watch! thank you for always being honest with your audience and for teaching me so much while I'm in school. i start clinical classes next semester wish me luck!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Megan Wilson good luck!!!!

[@BellClan37]

I've been struggling watching your videos because i DO BELIEVE in loving my body AND my health would (and will) be so much better if (when) I lose weight. And i kept feeling like there was no option for me. I can't tell you how HAPPY and GRATEFUL I am to see this video. I can happily say that I am gently and lovingly eating with intention and awareness and for me that meant tracking what I ate the past weeks. B/c I wasn't in a self loathing or shaming place i looked at it only as information and it actually SUPPORTED my intuition and trust of myself! I feel so so good. I've lost like 4 lbs and i don't even care, i just feel empowered and competent taking control. I have felt jordan syatt has really helpful non shaming advice for fat loss specifically with sustainability at heart and a continued emphasis on "you are not your weight. Your worth is not based on the scale" type thinking. He's still likely too far into the dieting camp for you but I think a discussion between you two could be soooooo interesting as i think you have more in common than what it would seem on the surface. Anyway THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

BellClan37 you are very welcome!

[@mariahn5764]

My goal is to be happy with food and my body and my health. I have PCOS, a metabolic and hormonal condition that makes it very difficult to lose weight, but most sufferers and practitioners swear that weight loss is a great way to reduce symptoms. Consequently, eating disorders and extremely restrictive diets are rampant in the PCOS community. So where to go about losing weight sustainably, effectively, healthfully and without shame? You are the first person whose nutritional information I resonate with, and I feel your channel is a safe space for information and can’t wait to see your intuitive eating series, and everything else you come up with ❤️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Mary-Kate N ❤️❤️

[@brittniep9219]

As a fat person, who has lost weight and needs to lose more, I don’t like that HAES attacks women losing weight. (Pushing disordered, unhealthy eating for any sized person is wrong of course). But me wanting to lose weight for myself, and maybe part of that is for society too, to even (shock!) fit in more, that is OK. I’m tired of both discrimination for being plus sized as well as wanting to lose weight. You thus can’t win anywhere online! (But in my experience regular women are all navigating this area and agree A LOT with each other haha). Thank you for this video! :)

[@JamieLuv2u]

Huzzah Abbey😍 self reflexive awareness is a position that only comes from rigorous self inquiry. I feel you, and I constantly recommend your channel because you land for me as truly authentic, and ready to engage with the tough calls. I believe in HAES and I also struggle with knowing that I take a medication that will make me gain weight. Focusing on intuitive eating helps me remember that it's better to be fat then dead. However the women in my support groups seem so desperate that they are willing to do anything that promises results. It's very disheartening. I am grateful that I feel like there is someone with me I can trust to hang out in that grey area and see what possibilities arise from examining those experiences. Blessed Be.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jamie Luv thank you 🙏🏻

[@alexandrasive]

this is such an important discussion - thank you so much for being so open and compassionate in exploring these issues !

[@AbbeysKitchen]

alexandra sive 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jaimier1629]

I'm an RD and have been feeling this way for SO LONG but always feel strange talking about it. THANK YOU for acknowledging that HAES is absolutely incredible but that some patients/clients want to lose weight and it is our job to help them do that in a safe and sustainable way (if appropriate for the individual) in a way that will be beneficial for their health. There is so much emphasis on "patient centered care" and honestly, some of my patients (specifically those with type 2 diabetes as I am a CDE) are extremely motivated to lose weight and I really find it to be helpful for everyone (myself and the patient) to work with them on their own personal goals (again, in a way that is not damaging their health) and then focus on intuitive eating/HAES once we have built up a good relationship and they realize that I am not, in fact, crazy for telling them that weight loss is not the end all, be all. :) Thank you again for this video. It's SUCH an important topic!!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jaimie R hi fellow RD! ❤️🙏🏼

[@shenn141]

I lost 50lbs and I know that it made a difference in my health. I was 226lbs and went down to 176lbs, and I am only 5'2". I was prediabetic and had undiagnosed high blood pressure. I know that it was undiagnosed because I would take my mom's BP meds before I would go to the doctor. The only way I could do this was by changing how many calories I ate. I have maintained this for about 4 years now. I did lose the weight over 2 years, very slowly. But this has helped me keep the weight off. My weight loss has always been food-based and not exercised based. I am a nurse and work 12 hour shifts, so I have always have had an active job. My weight loss has been about 90% food related and 10% activity. I still log my food, because it helps me keep track. I do follow a certain amount of calories per day, but I still try to live life the best I can. I have been doing it for so long that it has just become part of my natural routine. My biggest issue was always portion control and still is. I just don't think I am the right person for "intuitive eating." I do see the benefits of it and how it can work for many people. But I do believe that there are some people who this will just never work for. I don't think I live in diet culture, just monitoring what I eat. These are my opinions. I do love your videos and am open to many new opinions. Thanks for the education.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

shenn141 thanks for your thoughts!

[@mandy8035]

Hi Abbey. I just found your channel a month ago, and I love your videos! I respect the high quality information you disperse. I had weight loss surgery 2 and a half months ago. I went through emotional ups and downs in the first few months after surgery, just being terrified of long term weight regain and freaking out over my calories. I have to say thank you so much because watching your videos has calmed my mind down and brought me back to a place of respecting food and the values I've always held about food. I never felt your material was against or in conflict with my decision to have wls and lose weight, but rather supportive of efforts to eat well and be more intuitive. It's because of you I am starting to read books about intuitive eating and feel this is a necessary skill for me to learn to enhance and properly use my tool of wls.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Mandy y so glad!!!

[@sarajernigan7265]

As a fellow RD I cannot say how much I appreciate this!! I have been struggling so much with where I stand between these two arenas and I could not agree more with what you’re saying. I hate that being in a middle ground is seen as such a negative thing. THANK YOU for this!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Sara Jernigan of course 🙏🏼❤️

[@memyselfandi1366]

I'm currently fighting my food addiction that formed because of a very unhealthy relationship with my ex. I actually started calorie counting a year and half ago, because I was morbidly obese and struggled with my health altogether, I was on the edge of getting really sick, and I thought for a long time, that it was all only related to my weight. Now I know that it was because I just ate too much stuff that wasn't good and my diet was just totally imbalanced. I'm 60lbs smaller now and my body remembers all too well, how I felt mentally and physically when I was eating badly. Everytime I fall back into my old eating habits these nauseous feelings come right after. It's going to be a long way to become an intuitive eater for me without absolutely overeating, but I'm getting there. Thank you for your support and your honesty, it's really refreshing.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Me, Myself And I so glad

[@bethiebrown9848]

Thank you for having a moderate stance. As someone that is just starting to leave the diet culture yet also needs to lose about 10 pounds it is refreshing to get support in a moderate and sustainable way of life.

[@varvaraseliutina4095]

Abbey, this was a great video that really made me think about things as a non diet and HAES dietitian myself. The one thing I’ll say is that it is unfortunate that there is this very small group of HAES dietitians that may be coming off a bit strong for people and making it feel like shaming to want to lose weight. But any actual practicing dietitian does not do this or believe in this shame. I’ve actually seen more of a movement within HAES that discusses to stop that. I think the thing with prescribing weight loss to anyone (like you mentioned) is that it is not a behavior.. you can’t tell someone ok lose weight, now that’s it. There are behaviors that go into “losing weight”. So therefore as a HAES dietitian I would rather focus on those health behaviors over the weight loss. If someone is in a large body and having a hard time moving around or physically feels uncomfortable, the goal is to get them feeling good! And that comes with exercising or moving their body in the best way they can, eating foods that provide them energy, good digestion, etc, good sleep hygiene, etc. these behaviors is what the HAES or non diet messaging likes to focus on rather than saying this is how you lose weight. Because if you engage in these behaviors, your body may shed some of the weight for a larger bodied person... but it also may not! But I bet you after engaging in those behaviors they may feel much better than before. I think you are going on the right path with engaging in these conversations and thinking about just how important it is to focus on the client and their experience. And create that space for them to share their struggles and wants and needs! That is the basis of dietitian care in general! And haes and non diet approaches as well.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Varvara Seliutina thanks for your viewpoint!

[@amyhayes2988]

One of the things that pushed me into an eating disorder was feeling like I couldnt talk to anyone about wanting to lose weight, and that wanting to lose weight was something to be ashamed of. We need to keep the conversation open from both ends!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Amy Hayes for sure

[@Average_Jo]

I really appreciate this video and your honesty and openness about your own journey as a professional and personally. I found your channel while training for my first bodybuilding competition after having struggled with body image issues and disordered eating my whole life and while it may seem like that pursuit would make me adverse to your content it actually has been a huge help; you kept me Mindful of the realities of what I was doing... and why, the possible negative side effects of such restrictive eating (which made coming out of the show so much easier) and shed light on how much diet culture had shaped the way I saw myself before... and how much healthier I am now. And I’d like to clarify that I am pursuing this sport/altering my aesthetics because I fell in love with the process and journey-not because I hate my body (which is in fact why I started working out... the first time) but because I love and appreciate it. I don’t think everyone has that same experience nor do I promote the sport for the general public as I really feel my journey to a more positive relationship with food/mindset as a result is an outlier). But I still wanted to Thankyou. And also... I think you’re hilarious. Video request: Whitney Simmons full day of eating. She recently posted a video and she compared how she used to do her full days of eating, when she had an on healthy mindset and was entirely too restrictive… Versus now. I would love to see a dietitian‘s perspective on the way that she used to eat on the way she’s eating now and commentary on the change in her mindset. Thankyou :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

AverageJo thank you 🙏🏻

[@TaliaMann]

As a therapist to be and someone who recovered from a decade long eating disorder, I think about these things all time. I really appreciate this video. Client centered care is new and something I haven't heard of before. Would love to hear more about that!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Talia Mann definitely

[@shariwelch8760]

Thanks Abbey. I'm all for acceptance and not living your whole life on a restrictive diet - but I also have Type II diabetes, which does require some diet modifications. A weight loss of just 10% of body weight can significantly improve a diabetic's blood sugar. So it's nice that you are willing to support everyone's personal needs.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Shari Welch 🙏🏼❤️

[@CatBarefield]

This is a great example of someone who wants to serve their cause so much that they are willing to make a video saying, hey, maybe i wasnt entirely right. Thank you for this.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Moon stone thank you 🙏🏼

[@hannahj489]

Abbey, thank you for continuing to be honest and open. I continue to watch and enjoy you and your content because you are a real human being. You are willing to admit you were wrong, to grow, to work to stay positive, to try and help and make people happier and healthier. I come from a long line of individuals who struggle with their weight, but also how their own relationships with food and their bodies affects themselves and those around them. Your channel has helped me be more in tune with my own body as well as find empathy for those around me. Thank you. Continue being you, you're a pretty great woman to be.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Hannah Johnson thank you 🙏🏻

[@brennasalkin6949]

Lots of love for this video and your message - I think a lot of times in discussions like these, the grey area is the only balanced and healthy approach. Thanks for always being honest!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Brenna Salkin of course! 🙏🏼

[@GwynEileen]

Thank you so much Abby! As someone who lost 50 lbs in the last 3 years and still going strong after watching my family members struggle with health issues due to both their weight and other factors I really appreciate this direction you are deciding to go. I loved your videos when I first started to watch them, but I’ll admit that in recent videos I was becoming less engaged because at times I almost felt shamed and discouraged for losing weight because you railed so hard against people who supported it. I understand that it was coming from a good place of you wanting to change society to be its best, but I couldnt help but internalize your criticism of others desire for weight loss, which I recognize I am definitely at fault for as well. But this video has really rejuvenated my excitement for your videos because I feel like you understand my side of things and feel supported like I used to. Thank you and I can’t wait to keep watching your journey!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Gwyneth Eileen ❤️❤️❤️

[@Soleil5291]

I’m happy you addressed your projection tendencies. I thought I was the only one thinking it. I still don’t understand how you can say that “diets” don’t work when you’ve never lost a significant amount of weight *and kept it off* before. I lost weight VERY successfully with the help of my incredible nutritionist. Sure, watching raw vegan diets and whatever else is definitely not going to work. Working with dietitians and nutritionists SHOULD work though. I would never want to have you as my dietician if this is the type of belief system you have. Losing weight literally saved my life and probably the lives of a million other people too. I just don’t think it’s fair to cast a death sentence on people and insinuate that nothing works. I also don’t appreciate “dieticians” who have never been obese having such strong, definitive opinions on something they’ve never experienced

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Michelle Unal very good points!

[@juicysatsumabeauty]

What she says is statistically accurate though. Over 90% of people on diets fail to lose weight and keep it off. That is fact. I also think there is a massive distinction between working with a RD (which most people don't do and can't afford to do) on creating healthy habits and "going on a diet" e.g. Buying a youtubers e-book, Herbalife, weight watchers, slimming world, keto, obsessing over macros and on and on and on. Most people's "diets" do not come from RDs but from profit driven corporations. Perhaps Abbey should be clearer about the distinction but I always knew the difference when she spoke about it, but maybe others don't.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes I simply am communicating what the research says so I do stand by that. You’re the 5%! I’m glad it worked for you! But a doctor wouldn’t recommend a drug that only had a 5% success rate, especially if it came with risks

[@Camig1708]

Abbey Sharp then what’s the solution for a 400 lbs woman? Just to hang in there waiting to die from heart failure or diabetes because you RD’s refuse to do your job properly? It’s utter garbage. If you go to a dietician in my country and they realize that you’re at an unhealthy weight, they put you on a diet, end of the story. No HAES bullshit, no harmful/irresponsible statements such as “people can’t lose weight” etc. They put you on a diet even if you’re 10 pounds overweight because they understand how detrimental it can be for your health in the long run. And no, these are not like some of those crush diets that seem to be so popular nowadays; no food is cut off completely, no “keto” , no “paleo”, no “clean eating” and other nonsense. They simply provide a good old-fashioned balanced diet. It is no coincidence that we, with the French and the Romanians, are the thinnest people in Europe, despite being famous for a very rich, carb-based cuisine. Just like it is no coincidence that our life expectancy is the second highest in the whole world.

[@tope2386]

Abbey Sharp so what do you as an RD recommend to your clients?

[@federicafinocchiaro9589]

I never comment yt videos. I like to be more of a silent person online, but in this case I have to say that I 100% agree with what Abbey said and I’m happy that there is someone who seems to want to find a balance between all of the voices that wants to pull you one way or the other. Thank you!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Federica Finocchiaro thank you

[@kamaliancirranoush1916]

Props to you Abbey, changing your stance on things is difficult to deal with. Sharing that with your viewers shows a lot of character. There is a distinction that needs to be reiterated in terms of diets. There are unsustainable ridiculous crash fad diets, and there are health promoting diets that are a part of an overall health promoting lifestyle. The same way that there are terribly refined junk carbs, and wonderful Whole Foods like oatmeal. You can lump them all together, but in reality they are drastically different. I believe the lack of this distinction is muddying the waters and creating unnecessary confusion for those seeking dietary improvement and weight loss, and taking power away from those who wish to change, but hear the old tired line of “diets don’t work” and stop trying. We should never stop trying to live healthfully. It can be done and will only improve quality of life. Thank you for all the resources you provide Abbey, I appreciate your channel.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

casey miller you’re welcome 🙏🏼❤️

[@annalisacreger1560]

This is so refreshing and so reassuring to see. I'm a new RD and I've struggled with a lot of the same feelings you expressed here throughout my short time working in the field, my dietetic internship, and my undergraduate education. It's so important to me to be an evidence-informed practitioner but with so many different voices it can be really hard to decipher the best recommendations to make, solutions for clients, etc. Thanks for being relatable and being so open and honest about this!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Annalisa Creger thanks 🙏🏼❤️

[@victoriabrady48]

Hey Abbey, I want to thank you for being a voice of knowledge base reasoning in this crazy world of nutrition, food and health. You are making a difference and I can only speak for myself, but I can assume I am not the only one that is thankful for you and your work!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Victoria Hunsucker thank you 🙏🏻

[@yourbffnat3602]

I know for me being obese is not healthy, I develop sleep apnea, I lose my period, it causes depression and anxiety. I feel the best when I am at a healthy weight. Thank you for this video. The truth is excess fat is not healthy, it messes with hormones and can cause infertility, it surrounds our organs, it's not a passive tissue, it is active at destroying our health. I am working on getting down to a healthy size, using moderation with everything and listening to my body.

[@adorapollard7308]

I am glad this is being discussed. I really feel that HAES is detrimental to our population. So many studies show that obesity and morbid obesity causes an increase in the likelihood and severity of diseases. Even if those diseases are not preset in a morbidly obese person at 30, the story is so different at 50. Obesity is one of the leading causes of death due to a number of serious health consequences that are causes directly from being obese. While I don’t believe people should be fat shamed, we also shouldn’t be sugar coating being overweight. There is no such thing as being healthy at every size. You can make healthy choices at every size and you can work towards being healthy at every size but you are not “healthy” at every size. And I’m saying this from someone classified as being obese. I know I’ve made choices that mean I am not healthy and I don’t want my medical professionals dancing around my feelings. I get offended when I go to the doctor and they don’t mention my diet or have a chat with me about health because I believe they should be doing that for all their patients that come through the door that aren’t a healthy weight. It’s hard to balance discussing weight and food management without creating stress in someone, which could potentially cause disordered eating, but I think our medical community needs to prioritise finding a way to discuss this regularly with people, without glorifying HAES.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Adora Pollard thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[@palomajune1863]

I do think it's important that doctors can have frank & helpful discussions about weight loss. However, right now a lot of doctors either avoid the issue entirely (my GP has never brought up m weight with me) or are WAY overzealous (the ER doctor who lectured me while I was in extreme pain waiting for a surgical team to be assembled, while I was only a little overweight, very active, and a pretty healthy eater). I don't know exactly the right approach, but I don't think that either one has been very helpful for me.

[@CK-mq1tb]

paloma june But the fat phobia in today’s society means most people of size are not getting good medical care. Everything gets blamed on their weight - strep throat, a broken finger - and it prevents them from getting good medical care or even from seeking medical care because they have been shamed and mistreated in the past. It’s not that doctors are “afraid” to talk about weight loss. This mistreatment and stigma is central to the HAES movement.

[@whoopsiedaisy2990]

Yes!!! I stopped following you because HAES is unacceptable to me. I am coming from this background. Intuitive Eating didn't and won't work for me. I was addicted to food. I appreciate your experience, but make it clear where you can that it isn't for everyone. When I couldn't stop binging after starting Intuitive Eating, I felt like a failure and it made me spiral harder into my ED. Thank you for sharing, Abbey. I appreciate your honesty in this video.

[@mally6101]

abbey is such a real one. we love you girl

[@AbbeysKitchen]

mallory hynes ❤️❤️

[@viktoriavadon2222]

Thank you for taking a stance in the middle! It does take a lot of courage to stand your ground when both extremes are so loud and critical, but I believe we need more people like you, especially experts, who stand by a healthy and reasonable balance! There is one thing I may or may not agree with you on, which is "diets don't work", but it depends on what you mean by a diet. I am currently working on changing my lifestyle, I've already implemented eating healthier (recently transitioned from sticking to 1200 calories to just eating intuitively hopefully this will work too), and figuring out ways to include exercise soon. The goal is weight loss for the sake of my health (I am still heavily overweight, coming from mildly obese), energy levels and confidence. I want my life back, and I am getting it back, I am making good progress. I believe it is possible to intentionally lose weight and keep it off without being restrictive for a lifetime, just by being mindful.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Viktória Vadon so glad you found what’s working

[@MissFitAndNerdy]

I really appreciate your insight in this video! As a professional in the health and fitness industry, the MOST damaging thing, in my opinion, is people becoming too dogmatic about their nutrition beliefs and only reinforcing what worked/didn't work for THEM and treating it as gospel. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, different mindsets, and different health points. I think your message so far has been great for a lot of others who come from a restrictive diet mentality who were handed the short end of the stick by diet culture. But there are others who instead are overweight for entirely other reasons. Not *because* of diet culture but because they have a chronic health issue, or they just grew up eating mcdonalds. Those people need an entirely different approach to health and weight loss than those who have struggled with their weight due to an eating disorder. In my opinion and experience, calorie counting can be an amazing educational tool to help my clients learn what they are putting in their bodies. To just make them aware of foods nutritional value. It can also be damaging for those who have an unhealthy relationship with food or with their bodies. Some people have amazing success in losing fat with *proper* calorie restriction (not crash dieting) and some people need to eat intuitively. Saying that calorie counting is always bad or that following any sort of "diet" is going to doom you for life is misleading to a LOT of the population. So again, I appreciate your insight and I wish you the best on your journey in this to discover what you truly believe

[@AbbeysKitchen]

MissFitAndNerdy ❤️

[@rachelperson-brookrealtor9617]

Also, I have recently lost 45lbs. I am healthy for it because of my joints having less weight AND I am no longer pre-diabetic. I am also SO MUCH HAPPIER!! I finally feel like myself after having a baby. I love my body and the life it gave but at the same time, I am allowed to change and evolve. Thank you for this video!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Rachel Brook so glad

[@eg2012squared]

Although I am not a dietitian and cannot relate to your experience professionally I can assure you there are many of us who feel very torn between the two worlds. As someone who struggled with bulimia and disordered eating in her teens years ago, I definitely see the evils of diet culture and the thin idea. Yet...I have several relatives who struggle with obesity and deal with associated symptoms such as heart conditions, mobility concerns, fall risk, skin lesions..I find that I resonate with both elements from the health and fitness world (which is, admittedly, embedded in diet culture) and HAES. Like anything in life...I feel like this is an issue that is not black and white, and there is so much nuance to every conversation and each individual's experience. Thanks for opening up and being transparent :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Emmi's Wellness thank you for sharing this!

[@timfrieling8818]

This^ Emmi's wellness. You put into words exactly what i was wanting to say. I also struggled with disordered eating in my 20s and 30s (still in my head sometimes). However, as an RN I work with children with type 2 diabetes and I see them and their relatives struggle with the excess weight and the associated co-morbidities. -Jill

[@eld1rt]

Thank you for your clarity, transparency, and honesty Abbey. I was not at all expecting such a down-to-earth video... Gosh there's nothing more lovely and beautiful in this world than somebody who's humble, willing to learn, and who looks out for those in the wider community. It's seriously such a rare thing... And it really makes a big impact, too! Myself, and many others I'm sure, truly appreciate your efforts and kind soul :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Elly Grace ❤️

[@missknight9]

I love all of your content. It has helped me so much as I’m recovering from severe anorexia. I’m worried some of the changes you plan to integrate wouldn’t make this a safe space for me right now. But I know that by diversifying your content you’ll have a larger outreach and hopefully help even more people. If this happens I’ll continue charging ahead with my recovery & periodically check back in. You are so incredibly inspiring and I hope to one day do what you do. Thank you so much.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Miss Knight I can assure you my non diet message is not going ANYWHERE. I will continue to operate from an intuitive eating weight inclusive practice but I am just going to try not to shame or belittle feelings of those who are pursuing weight loss

[@elizabluerose]

You may find kzbin.info/door/TvnKA-Oef-wruoTQ3SsLFA helpful in your recovery journey. Good luck!

[@LissaxKristine]

I've been watching (and rewatching) a lot of your content after a poor experience with an Intuitive Eating community I was a member of. From 2019 to 2021, I lost a fairly significant amount of weight (25% of my starting weight) through WW and calorie counting (eating at a moderate calorie deficit). In 2021, I also went through a reverse diet with plans to maintain my weight for an undetermined period of time. While I was still keeping the possibility of losing a few more pounds open, I was also switching my focus to strength training, muscle building, and focusing on some of the mental aspects of my body image. In 2021, near the tail end of my reverse diet, I decided to stop tracking my food. What started as an experiment to see if I could maintain my weight without the meticulous tracking quickly turned into me going all-in on the intuitive eating/haes lifestyle. In the process, I gained about 40% of the weight I lost. Recently, I went to this intuitive eating community to express my frustration and concern. While I do believe that weight and health are only correlated and that correlation and causation are two different things, I am also of the belief that an individual may benefit from being at a lower weight. Personally, I felt a lot better physically at a lower weight. Most notably, I had foot pain that disappeared when I lost the weight and has resurfaced since gaining it back. While I understand that issues with feet and arches are NOT exclusive to people in larger/heavier bodies, in my case, I believe that my weight DOES play a factor. My concerns were ultimately dismissed by members of this community. While there seemed to have been a general acceptance that you can be healthier if you GAIN weight, these people were so scarred by diet culture that they refused to accept that some people may be healthier at a lower weight. (Even though this group often stated that weight loss is a potential side-effect of intuitive eating). In fact, someone even told me that my recurring cold symptoms (that began after I started this journey; that was the only thing in my life that changed at the time- in fact, I started getting sick AFTER leaving my job at a childcare center when my risk should have been lowered) were because I was finally eating enough calories and was fueling my body enough to get sick. (I was eating at or around my maintenance calories when I stopped tracking my food. I was NOT severely restricting calories). Now, I'm sitting in this grey area. I don't believe that I am at the weight where I feel my best, but I am also aware that I have some rigidity issues around food. So, I'm not sure if I'm going to start pursuing intentional weight loss again at this time. However, while I'm not counting calories, I am making small changes to the way I eat. I never stopped eating the foods I ate when losing weight, but I have started snacking more. Unfortunately, as someone who previously was only able to eat when it was mealtime (due to work schedules- an example of the privilege required to eat intuitively)), I haven't fully grasped what a "snack" looks like. So, I am looking at "diet" websites and articles for examples of snack ideas. I am also starting to experiment with the size of my plate. While not a hard and fast "rule," I want to know if eating off an 8.75-inch plate instead of a 10-inch plate will make a difference in my satisfaction level. Will these things result in weight loss? Possibly. Even if it doesn't, however, I feel a lot more balanced about these action steps than I felt about being all-in on the intuitive eating bandwagon. And while I understand that many people in the IE camp may say that eating off of smaller plates is "restricting," I am truly doing it from a place of "let me see how this feels." I also have the added benefit of coming into IE from a place where I wasn't severely restricting my calories- which is something I know many people don't have.

[@emilygood4368]

Thank you so much for everything you do! You’ve helped so many people including myself better their relationship with food, and I’m always excited to see a new video from you in my subscription list!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Emily Good thanks!

[@SweatWithAbby]

I’m pausing right in the middle of this video to just say that as somebody who has read health at every size, the intuitive eating book, who has been coaching people for weight loss for years, and has looked at both sides of the argument, I am also a more moderate/modern approach to coaching when it comes to helping people heal the relationship with food but I’m not going to shake my finger at somebody who has a desire to lose weight in a healthy sustainable way. In fact I still think it’s possible to lose weight in a healthy range according to your body is ideal natural setpoint without dieting! I think it’s important to learn and grow by listening to both sides and then figuring out where you stand. So this video is very refreshing because I also have been going through some similar growing pains but it has made me a better coach!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Abby Auriemma so glad

[@AMakesmesmile]

Thank you for being so genuine, reflective, and acknowledging areas of improvement (which we all have), and wanting to work on them... Honestly, i did find your recent videos a bit too anti-dieting/weight loss, because I do believe that it can be a beneficial goal for some. And I find it very ironic how in the body positivity or HAES movement, some people shame others for wanting to lose weight, because isn't the whole point of these movements to love others for their inner beauty, and not their physical appearance or dietary preferences? At the same time, I'm also very thankful for these videos, because they motivated me to learn more about these movements through podcast etc. and it has really opened my eyes. I would love more videos on intuitive eating, which is something I am trying to work towards. Thanks for all the effort and time u put into these videos Abby!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

AMakesmesmile yes I have a new IE video coming next week

[@shandacrouch4946]

I think the way you speak and come at with your channel is in the correct way. Your not promoting anything toxic or triggering and using science based research,data, and facts. I think weight loss is the answer for some but not for everyone, some really feel happier and more self confident in a smaller body and that's ok, just like it's just ok to love your body when it's larger that's also a beautiful thing. I think sharing healthy recipes that can help with weight loss is fine and just giving scientific knowledge for those who that is their wish on their own personal journey. I think people just need to do it right if they are gonna do it and do it for health and not for body image ultimately. Your doing a great job 💛

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Shanda Gregory thank you 🙏🏼

[@AdrienneRamsay]

Thank you so much for saying this. Recently watching your channel has made me lose hope and feel ashamed for wanting to lose weight. I’m happy in my body, but I also have goals and would like to be at a weight that I know will be not only beneficial for me as an athlete, but also one that I feel my best self in. I’ve looked for different ways all across the spectrum to be able to do this in a way that would promote wellness and health, and I initially felt encouraged by your rhetoric, until it became pretty clear to me that you would never provide a real source to your audience about weight loss, and it in turn made me feel unwelcome in this community. Although I realize you’re still looking for the answers of how to be more inclusive, I greatly appreciate you making this video and acknowledging those of us who feel like we are lost in the margins in the movement to ultimately live our lives with an eye towards wellness, but also to achieve our goals. We live in the gray area and it gives me hope to see that you recognize that it exists and that we should continually search for solutions. Thank you so much for this ❤️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Adrienne Ramsay I’m sorry for causing you feeling that way! I’m glad that this video has helped ❤️

[@jazminejohn2]

You have helped me tremendously in my journey to a healthier me (which did include weightloss/building a good relationship with food because I suffered an eating disorder in the past) and I've always loved watching you and I've learned so so much! However I did feel that guilt that I shouldn't be wanting and succeeding in the weightloss even though I knew in my heart I needed it to be healthy. This video felt like a giant hug and was such a breathe of fresh air! ❤️ you so much Abbey, thank you!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jazmine John so glad

[@bellagrayr1234]

Abbey this was really helpful for me as a registered dietitian and I am going to continue pondering what this might mean for me and my practice!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Sarah Blaser glad to hear that!

[@Rose-gy1pi]

I have watched your videos for a while now, off and on as they have appeared on my suggestions page. I think the content you create has helped many people, myself included. From adding more nut butter and Greek yogurt to my once fruit-only smoothies to incorporating more whole grains into meals, your candid and honest presentation of nutrition has helped IMMENSELY as I work to overcome some long-held disordered eating issues. Thank you for being open-minded enough to reevaluate your opinions and continue sharing them with us!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Rose 🙏🏼❤️ glad to hear that

[@Teacupgirly]

Honestly the whole HAES vs weight loss movement has made me regret becoming a registered dietitian. HAES RDs take it too far..

[@elizabethpenton2306]

Some definitely have agendas sadly

[@emilybogaudo4882]

So much shaming..

[@kecrn4132]

Mariya Kuyan - what is HAES? I have never heard of it til this video!!!

[@Teacupgirly]

Running Girl Runs It is a new movement-health at every size. It’s not bad in theory and definitely has good things about it, but a lot of people have gone pretty extreme with it. They shame people for wanting to lose weight (even for health reasons). They shame dietitians for giving diet advice and helping people intentional weight loss 🤯

[@revuesdeminuit4071]

Mariya Kuyan how would being a dietician work then, if they hold that belief set? Most clients will be seeking you out to lose weight, do you then not take those clients, or attempt to persuade them into your way of thinking? It seems somewhat defeatist, even if I can understand why a movement like this is necessary for some people. I’m just curious

[@Terri_Stauffer]

I understand stand the struggle of needing to be where a client is at and not trying to force your will on others. I have the same issue working in the addiction field and at times I want to impose what I think is best for a client rather then listening to where they are at in their recovery journey. Self reflection is so important and glad that you are doing it so openly and honestly. Thank you so much for your videos, they have been a blessing since I found them. They helped reinforce my feelings of accepting who I am and not demonizing food categories. God gave us fruit and veggies, as well as meat to eat, who I am I to say they are bad.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Terri Stauffer 🙏🏼❤️

[@themelligator]

"Could we be projecting?" Really, how could you not? An important realization.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Melanie Clarkson totally

[@eleighgirl9312]

It’s refreshing to hear a RD say this. Because as a 38 year old who has struggled with her weight and been every different size, I’m seriously so confused about what to do for my health vs what to do for my mental health at this stage in my life. It’s kind of a discouraging and confusing place to be. I really wish I knew what to do. IE hasn’t seem to been the answer for me thus far.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Eleigh Girl 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jankenaude]

Personally, I have always wondered why trying to loose weight is deemed so “unnecessary” in videos where you have called out diet culture. I have worked out for the past 6+ months and I am feeling very strong. However, losing a bit more fat will be extremely rewarding, and watching some informed youtubers speak on that matter has helped me learn how I can achieve that. So yes - it is a case of aesthetics, but also personal growth and appreciating what my body can do. In saying this I by no means support diet culture and trying to change yourself (while negatviely impacting your health) to fit in with society. I DO support setting attainable goals, intuitive eating and changing your body in a way that makes you feel extremely proud and capable. All in all, IT. IS. TOO. MUCH. OF. AN. INDIVIDUAL. THING. I love that you are seeing both sides of the coin, Abbey. Thank you for all the information and being neutral!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Janke Jacobs ❤️❤️❤️

[@Aaronbacca]

I like that you’re taking multiple sides into consideration with your videos. I’ve already learned a lot from your intuitive eating talks and when I feel disordered eating thoughts come into my head, your voice is there to help me. I am one of those people with a disordered eating past who also struggles with obesity, and I’m trying for the first time in my life to lose weight with my mental and physical wellbeing in mind. Your videos have already been helping me with that. Whatever you decide to do in the future, please keep making content with the same positive, uplifting, and caring attitude you already have. You have been inspirational to me ❤️❤️❤️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Aaronbacca so glad

[@Chromeangel8]

Maybe a video on intuitive eating and weight loss? I know those two things kinda cancel each other out but I still want to lose weight but not have an unhealthy relationship with food.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

MELANIE I’ll see what I can do!

[@Orangesherbertgirl]

Abbey Sharp yes please!!! I find that with some intuitive eating things I have seen there is no scope for those above their ‘healthy’ weight to work towards a healthy weight, improve their relationship with their body and food. I have also noticed that HAES can be closely alighted to fat acceptance movement which can sometimes have followers that get upset if people even work out eg Tess Holliday recently started working out more and had to tell people that she was not planning on losing weight

[@juicysatsumabeauty]

Orangesherbertgirl Have you actually read the Intuitive Eating book? It covers this extensively.

[@The.Caroline]

@@AbbeysKitchen I second this! Long story (not-so) short, I have a chronic illness that prohibits me from being physically active (I'm mostly on bedrest). It's unrelated to my weight, but I was told by a nurse specializing in my illness to eat more food because I had a bad relationship with it and was only eating two meals a day - which food = energy and so important for my health condition. I ended up losing some weight, finally started feeling good about my body and my relationship with food. Then, I saw an alternative doctor that was a huge supporter of KETO, and he thought that I should lose weight (I was only two kgs overweight according to my BMI). It ended up destroying all my progress with food and I gained weight again because I started eating less = feeling worse = feeling guilty for eating carrots and blueberries because that was too much carbs. Your videos have massively helped to build up my relationship with food again, but it's still so hard, especially now that I hate my body and can't work out. Would love some tips on how to lose weight, but in the healthies and most intuitive way. And maybe more recipe/food videos on how to easily incorporate veggies to your day for example. (Sorry this was a long comment haha)

[@Orangesherbertgirl]

Juicy Satsuma no I haven’t. I hope it suggests a word that abbey used recently ‘gentle nutrition’

[@shallowwaters6690]

I discovered your channel last week and have been enjoying your content. I can tell you are a thoughtful, compassionate and passionate person. The genuineness of your convictions and willingness to self-reflect and approach issues in a way that allows for their complexity is refreshing.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lauren Arnold ❤️❤️

[@CNJL1]

The problem with being grey is that is does little to move forward the positive message while reinforcing the negative message which results in the negative eventually crowding out the positive.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

CNJL1 that’s of course been my fear. So it’s not that I don’t buy the HAES message, I do. I just want to make space for what you want (client centred)

[@JayeCole]

I have never loved your channel more than I do in this video. So says the woman whose 60lb weight loss gave her the ability to love herself again. I am tired of being made to feel bad because I enjoy not having daily joint aches and poor sleep due to weight induced snoring. It took losing weight to have the mental space to learn to fix my relationship with food.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jaye Cole ❤️

[@Emma_love10]

I love this so much. Being grey isn’t trendy but I really think it’s where most of us lie right?

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Emilee Ryser yes!

[@katherinesklaver8206]

As a researcher (not on diet but still) I so highly respect your evidence based approach and willingness to adapt your stance and advice upon the admission of new evidence. You are the stuff a true professional is made of and I would trust you with my diet any day.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Katherine Sklaver thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@戴恩驰-p5r]

While I was watching Stephanie Buttermore's video, I learned that Jeff Nippard also had the history of binge eating and purging pattern. He worked through the problem by going kind of all in and now he is still able to combine intuitive eating and tracking macro to lose body fat or gain muscle. I think there is a legit grey area that works the best when you've had enough experiences. I am personally working on the unhealthy pattern and trying to get to the neutral area.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

戴恩驰 🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@戴恩驰-p5r]

@@AbbeysKitchen Thank you for all the information! I think the previous alarming attitude towards dieting culture also helped and still helps because dieting does correlate with some serious issues. We need strong attitudes at both ends to come to a better resolution. Big shout out to Abbey's Kitchen!♥️

[@andreajohnsMyPotteryBliss]

I can speak from experience that weight loss is mandatory in some situations. I need a hip and both knees replaced. My Dr will not, under any circumstances, do the replacement unless I get my BMI below 40. I’ve lost 70 lbs and kept it off for 6 years. I have been unable to lose the additional 25 lb he requires. I am eating under 1200 calories, carb intake below 50. My A1c is at 5.5. Cholesterol, triglycerides, HDL, LDL are all textbook perfect. For 2 years I have been unable to lose any more weight. I use a walker now and can no longer drive. I am in pain all day, every day. I sleep in 2 hour increments because of the level of pain. I am well and truly f---ed. Every orthopedic Dr I have contacted has the same BMI below 40 requirement. Abbey, I appreciate that you are truly wrestling with the best way to be of help to people who need the knowledge you, as an RD, possess. Some of what the body positivity folks preach I agree with. Some of it is simply so black and white it’s unreasonable. As in every human condition there are many shades of gray too. There cannot be hard and fast rules to be followed. Each individual is different, as is their metabolic health and life circumstances. Diets don’t work except when they do. I did lose 70 lbs. My efforts to lose the 25 needed to get my hinges fixed have kept that 70 lbs off but I have not been successful in losing the rest I have to lose. This is non-negotiable because I want my life back.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Andrea Johns I fully appreciate that! I think we all have to evaluate the risk benefit for ourselves

[@mrs.snuffleupagus5735]

I thought you video was great. I often wonder if a body positive RD suddenly gained 100lbs for no medically obvious reason except for higher hunger levels, if they would really just accept themselves or if they would take steps to reduce their weight. I think body image is a balance...we can work to realize current beauty standards are unattainable but also accept from ourselves that we might feel better (mentally or physically) if we dropped a few. I try to remember that I can do the things that I know will make me feels good (eating a wide variety of plant based foods...moving every day in a way that feels good to me) and mostly let the body-weight chips falls where they may...but yeah, I occasionally put effort in to lose 5 pounds when my weight crept up a little. It’s okay, I love myself! :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Kirsten Geyer thanks for sharing

[@katienorris1979]

I really appreciate your self-reflection here. I started following you for your recipe and debunking of health myths videos. I really loved your videos with Abby Langer. I have been on a journey to get healthier and lose weight and some of your recent videos made me feel guilty for wanting to do so. I understand that you come from an orthorexic background but a lot of us don’t. Though I’m not overweight (anymore) I struggle with binge eating. Calorie counting has actually really helped me recognize what my body needs to fuel itself. I think you’re wonderful but it’s hard to listen to someone who has likely never been overweight before tell others to just follow their intuition and that diets always fail. It can be very discouraging for those of us who want to change our bodies for the better and have found success by changing our lifestyles. I’m always worried that I’ll slip back in to my old habits that left me feeling sluggish and sick. Sometimes the HAES movement makes it sound as though you can never achieve anything other than accepting that you’ll always be as big as you are. I’m still a big fan of yours and I love my copy of the Mindful Glow Cookbook. Thank you for this video! There’s nothing wrong with going Switzerland. The truth is always found somewhere in the middle.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Katie Norris thank you so much 😊 and Abby is back in dec!

[@lrodenlr]

I love your gray space. I live in black and white and desperately need some gray. 🖤

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lemon Lindsay totally me too

[@operationpower4245]

As a personal trainer who is also recovered from a decade-long eating disorder, this is something that I've had to work on myself. Just because of my past, I see dieting and exercising for aesthetics alone as a slippery slope and I've had a hard time working with clients on these goals. I often find myself attempting to veer them in another direction with regards to their exercise goals or discouraging them from limiting their calories, and it's just not okay. I realized how bad my bias was recently when I was working with a 70 year old client of mine who recently lost 100 pounds to achieve a healthy body weight for the first time in her life. Her quality of life is the best it's ever been regardless of all of the dieting involved in that. I found myself wanting to tell her to stop focusing on the weight loss and to set other goals but.. no. That would be doing her such a disservice. I agree with you that it's so important to recognize your biases so that you can avoid reflecting them in your clients. I actually kind of cringe at the fact that I encouraged some of my clients to not worry about their weight in the past. Just no.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Operation Power I’m so glad! Yes it’s so key to be reflexive

[@oliviavincent9405]

I am a student in highschool with hopes of becoming an RD one day myself! I’d love a video explaining the journey it was to becoming one and the obstacles the profession faces day-to-day!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

olivia vincent got it!

[@JessieCarty]

I found this video so calming today. I'm uncomfortable with the weight I am, somewhat for aesthetics reasons, but mainly because I want to feel better. As I got heavier I did develop higher cholesterol and acid reflux. I want to reduce those symptoms, but I also know that dieting mentality is part of what got me to the weight I am. I can so easily slip into using food as a weapon against myself. Trying to make peace with food and not just living to eat is a meal to meal process. Thank you for your balanced approach.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jessie Carty 🙏🏼❤️

[@sydneyjones8849]

Hi Abbey, I’m really glad that you’ve come to this conclusion after considering both sides. I lost 120lb with weight loss surgery and have improved my quality of life tenfold. Dangerous dieting definitely doesn’t work but healthy weight loss does. I was really sad to see you agreeing with some of the extreme HAES views that totally discount the experiences of those of us who lost weight the healthy weight and got our lives back. Please don’t be discouraged by the hate you will probably get from saying what you said here!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Syd Nah ❤️❤️

[@SongbirdAliWhispers]

As I'm learning to be ok with my body and figuring out where I stand on HAES and wanting to eat nutritiously and eat for wellness, I so appreciate your videos. I needed to hear a dietitian say it's ok to be fat and to be ok in my fat body but that it's also ok to want to lose weight because it may help my knee pain and/or back pain etc. Your willingness to own your level of learning and desire to promote body autonomy and continuous growth is refreshing and so needed. Thank you.

[@elenakinny7857]

I've never heard anyone (a professional I mean) say that they think the risks of obesity are overstated. Why do you think that? The message I get from all the MDs I follow is that prolonged obesity is dangerous. You may get away with a lot in your younger years, but by the time you reach 65, you will be reeling from the consequences. I am not a professional though and would like to hear your point of view on this, based on science of course. All I am interested in is the science.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Elena Kinny and that’s all I give! What I mean is that it’s correlational and it’s hard to tease apart excess weight from other aspects like weight discrimination and weight cycling

[@AveragelyAwesome]

Portioning! For people who struggle to eat enough to maintain a healthy weight and for people who struggle to read fullness cues and override social conditioning to "finish your plate". My partner and I are on opposite sides of this coin and a solid understanding of how to plate and portion food to make the most of our meals would be so lovely. I have achieved a good sense of how our food translates to energy our bodies can use by learning about calories but tracking is neither a maintainable or healthy long term solution. Would love to see what you recommend.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Danielle Virginie totally agree

[@billiec.443]

Thank you for posting this. I like a lot of your content but the “intuitive eating” thing has been making me disconnect with your recent content, as it will not work. I was obese and unhealthy and will overeat if I “eat intuitively”. I have to give myself rules in order to maintain a healthy weight (which I now am). I had considered unfollowing on a few occasions because this made me so uncomfortable. I appreciate you taking a look at how this may affect others. Thank you.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Billie C. ❤️

[@andradafff]

I love that you made this video, because I'm also a big supporter of intuitive eating and HAES, but have noticed the polerizing tendency that many intuitive eating RDs have. The reason why I follow you is exactly the grey area you are in. I don't think it's ok for a RD to make me feel guilty for wanting to loose weight as much as I don't think it's ok for a doctor to tell me I should loose weight (even though I have no health issue). From what I have seen until now, we know that drastic diets don't work, but we don't talk about slow lifestyle changes together with emotional work and regular exercise can actually work in not only improving your heath, but quite possibly loosing some weight on the way (it almost feels TABO to mention it). It feels like it has come to the point that if you do manage to slowly loose some weight you must be starving yourself or not loving your body. In my own experience it is possible to not feel the best in your larger size body and you shouldn't be made to feel horrible about it. As in for content, I would love if you could present something for women and the nutritional needs during or before their menstrual cycles, if there are things(food related) that could improve the way we feel in those times.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

andrada mihaela falcoi yessss great questions

[@MissFitAndNerdy]

Can you please define in a video what you mean by "dieting" when you claim that "dieting doesn't work?" I assume you mean extreme dieting specifically or dieting where you severely restrict calories. I personally would define "dieting" as including simply switching the composition of your food. For example, going from eating a standard american diet to eating a more paleo based diet. In my personal experience as a personal trainer, a simple switch like that can make a WORLD of change for a person in their health and their weight loss journey without negatively impacting their relationship with food (obviously it may still have a negative impact on SOME people, but it wouldn't cause EVERYONE to become obsessive or restrictive). In my experience with my clients, simply encouraging them to eat MORE vegetables and things that are good for them is incredibly beneficial. And I personally would lump that into the "dieting" category because they are changing their diet. But I have a feeling you define "diet" differently. I just think that your stance on things would be a lot more clear if everyone understood how you are defining that word :)

[@user-yo5yr9yr2h]

I think diet culture is based on restriction which is why it doesn't work. You need to change your entire psychology to stop liking or needing bad foods. If dieting was more along the definition of opening yourself up to more food options instead of cutting out entire food groups it might be a more positive thing. But unfortunately dieting means restriction. I think what is a more positive experience is learning how to cook and knowing what a healthy meal can look like. For a lot of people, it's just a lack of education.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

MissFitAndNerdy when I say dieting I mean intentional weight loss diets that involve restriction of calories or types of food in an effort to lose weight.

[@nancyklingler1335]

I agree completely. I have lost 35 lbs by changing what I ate not restricting calories, but weight loss was the goal. While losing weight is what I wanted to do, it has taken me 4 years to get to this point so far and i still really need to lose about 10 more, but it is not hard to maintain at all. I fully expect it to take a long time if ever, but eat good and move daily (just walking is ok). I haven't demonized any food but have restrictions on eating them such as must have big salad before eating pasta just because it helps maintain a smaller portion.

[@TheNapfeny]

Totally agree here. I wish she clarify that too. I love her but my whole family has diabetes n being responsible with my diet is a huge part of my life if I wanna avoid it. She recommended people changing their diet..I would think that her main job definition...and that's dieting for me.

[@insideself1471]

I've learned a lot from you, Abbey, about diet culture and the fact that all diets fail, and as I'm going through that learning process myself right now, having restricted all my life and now turning to bingeing, I am grateful for your perspective that I might not have picked up if you weren't quite so forceful about it, lol. and I agree that it is also okay to want to lose weight. Nobody has a right to say that's disordered, bec. it is basically natural to want to look your best. I like the way you're thinking and owning up to the pos. projection of your own experiences (and maybe biases) onto everybody. we're all doing that to some degree but very few people can see it, let alone admit to it. (Maybe that is natural too, as most of us want to help others.) xxx

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Debra Goring thank you 🙏🏻

[@maddyt96]

Love that you're acknowledging the grey area! Thanks for this video :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Maddy Taylor 🙏🏼❤️

[@saminajackson7295]

I only recently started watching your videos. I am vegan and have a very disordered eating background, and I really like hearing your perspective on healthy eating and diet culture. Three years ago I very rapidly lost a large amount of weight, going from obese to a healthy weight. Looking back on it now, although it was a 'healthy' thing for me in some ways, the way I achieved the wight loss was not healthy at all. It is alarming for me to look back on that time now, and see the evidence of how quickly I lost the weight, and also think about how positive the feedback I received from society was about it! I got so much praise and attention for something that was so incredibly unhealthy. Now, three years later, I have pretty much maintained my healthy weight, more or less, but I recognize I still have very disordered eating, so if anyone comes to me for advice on losing weight, I refuse to offer any opinion or advice, because I recognize in myself that while I may have lost a large amount of weight and maintained that, I have NO experience of how to lose weight in a healthy way. I think it is a huge problem that there are a lot of people with disordered eating who are giving advice to others, that is not healthy or realistic advice, but they lack the self-insight to recognize that that is the case. So that most of the information out there about diet and losing weight is flawed and unhealthy. It makes for a very, very confused and toxic minefield of mis-information. I like that you are constantly working to be self-reflective and continue to expand your point of view and be really open-minded to others experiences being different from your own. From my perspective, if you have a blind-spot in your perspective (being someone who started off with healthy eating habits, developed orthorexia, then did a lot of work to recover from that) it's that many people who struggle with their weight have never had healthy eating patterns to begin with, and have been socialized to ignore their own internal guidance system regarding food completely, and have a trauma background that sub-consciously keeps them overweight for protective purposes - so intuitive eating as a concept is something that is potentially not going to be a viable option for many people, and can come off as a gas-light to be told that's the only way to eat in a healthy way. That being said I love your content, I like that you are constantly improving your thinking, and I'll continue to watch and learn and grow with you.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

samina jackson thank you 🙏🏻