I Support You If You Want to Lose Weight | Can You Eat Intuitively To Lose Weight?

Hey everyone, today I’ll be chatting about where I stand on HAES, weight loss and Intuitive Eating.
A reminder that everything in this video about HAES and Intuitive Eating is for entertainment purposes only and you should always seek the advice of a health care provider for your unique case.
Other videos I've done about HAES:
• HAES vs Weight Loss | ...
• Intuitive Eating + “OB...
Here are some other videos about me and my personal life that you might like:
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Some important links:
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My favourite supplements (amazon #affiliate) amzn.to/39pGV3j
My favourite kitchen appliances and tools (amazon #affiliate) amzn.to/2ubQnXV
My favourite healthy snacks (amazon #affiliate) amzn.to/2ucC6dD
My favourite healthy breakfast foods (amazon #affiliate) amzn.to/2SK8b6s
My favourite intuitive eating books (amazon #affiliate) www.amazon.ca/...
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Check out my blog for healthy recipes, parenting tips and tricks and busting nutrition myths and diets: www.abbeyskitchen.com
If this video on Intuitive Eating, HAES and weight loss was helpful, please leave me a comment below with your thoughts!
Xoxo Abbey

[@katscratch5389]

I’m so glad to see this growth. Going extreme into weight loss or extreme into HAES means that so many people in the middle get cut out and left feeling alone and confused. While I think intuitive eating is the ultimate ideal, that’s not going to be reality for everyone. Some people THRIVE on structure, it’s why some people love their 9-5 desk job and other people can’t stand the idea of having a boss. I personally LOVE structure. I truly thrive with it. And using some structure and general guidelines as well as listening to my body’s hunger cues, I’ve gotten to a better place mentally than I’ve been since I was a small child. I enjoy a challenging hike and roasted cauliflower, but also don’t feel guilt going and enjoying a soul-food filled meal with people I love. It’s balance and finding what is best for every individual

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Kathryn Nims totally!!

[@HatsuneTokisaki]

Definitely agree. My eating and exercise patters were very disordered back then and i was very strict religiously with food that simply going out with friends or family freaks me out. I still control portions too and exercise regularly, but I now enjoy donuts and brownies with friends or a simple ice cream with my brother. After that I barely gained weight and there's not much of a difference. Its really just balance and listening to your body cues.

[@meganadamson6204]

I feel the exact same! I’ve really struggled with a unhealthy relationship with food and it’s messed with my hunger/fullness cues. I feel like I’m getting into weight training and understanding my body which is where the structure comes in completely, I’m enjoying this intuitive eating journey while also reaching my realistic, forgiving etc. physical goals and trying to reject a ‘diet’ and such

[@rubygreta1]

If you intuitively think that eating a daily no-fat bagel with low-fat cream cheese and orange juice is a good way to start the day, you will NEVER lose weight. The entire concept of HAES is ridiculous. It's a new name for EIM (eat in moderation), which is a total failure.

[@leahdragon]

This tbh. IE fixed my mindset with food as in my teens I was anorexic, but then at 20 I recovered and forced myself to eat three rigid meals a day + snacks. What I didn’t realise was that this was just as damaging as I hated eating food. The schedule and forcing myself to eat made me hate eating and it made me overweight too. 6 months ago I started IE and I now love food, I have more energy, I eat what I want when I want (I’m not a fan of sugary or greasy foods and I’m vegan so my diet is fairly healthy). I’ve lost 40lbs so far and I’m now a healthy weight. I didn’t try to lose weight. Every time I’ve tried ‘healthily’ I failed miserably lmao. For me IE fixed my mindset with food and I’m now healthier than when I had the rigid structure to my diet. Some people thrive on structure. Some don’t. It’s about learning what works for your body and works for you. Edit: I don’t believe in HAEs, but I do believe hat IE can be the best thing for some people and disastrous for others. It really just depends on the person.

[@maxchenowith9060]

Wow. You’re on a journey too, and you’re asking yourself questions because you truly want to help your clients. Thumbs up!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Max Chenowith that’s the goal ❤️

[@harvestcheddar0]

I honestly feel so overwhelmed. Every time I look up how to be healthy, how to keep in shape, ect there is so much information, often contradictory, that I put my phone down and sigh. I just want to be healthy, feel strong, and look good to me.

[@herodotusgreenleaf6776]

There is so much out there, but you get to pick what you want to do and what works for you. I believe in you! For me, the most important thing has been doing a physical activity I like (right now it's powerlifting) and thinking about food and exercise as something that can help me reach my goals and learn new skills. I focus on being able to DO things that make me feel strong, and I eat to enjoy food and also to help me reach my goals. This has been fun and super empowering, and you can do it with anything from gymnastics to dancing to whitewater kayaking. It's been great to paradigm shift into "what do I want to do and how can I help myself get there?" instead of having goals about just "being." And just like me (and my body), my goals will change throughout my life, and I might do different things to reach them. It's all good. So I'd ask you: What do you want to be able to do? What does a healthy and strong and good-looking to you version of you like to do? A handstand? A night out on the town dancing? Choose with your heart and see where it takes you.

[@cauthoncrazy]

Honestly putting down the phone seems like a crucial step! I for sure have to.

[@cauthoncrazy]

@@herodotusgreenleaf6776 Well said! I am trying this too. Long term!!

[@Tymala1]

And I am going nuts hearing so many people say that if I embark in a temporary-healthy diet and fitness plan that might start out intense or not so easy that I will quit it and gain it back. And the constant comments saying I will binge eat later it I restrict too much. If I start seeing results no matter how difficult or tough, then I will stick with it until I get to my goal and then work on intuitive type maintenance regimes. I usually keep my happy weight on for a few years but later need help to get back in track when circumstances change. But I seem to keep hearing from people who do not know me that I will do xyz if I do something tough that is still healthy. Counting calories does not mean an eating disorder. The only times I get eating disorders (which are temporary) is when I do what you just mention. When I hear all this conflicting information then I will quit and skip meals and do bad things temporarily until I figure out the best things to do.

[@ddowner77]

U got this Eat moderation less processed foods and more whole foods Do something fun everyday- even just 10-15 min is enough Just get up n do it No matter if it is dancing to a song or a short walk Or jumprope or whatever BRiNGS u JoY

[@Melipeli]

This is so interesting. I was very overweight (close to 300 pds) and am now at 170 pds. I achieved this by working out everyday, but also by extreme dieting. I now have trouble with binge eating and intense calorie restriction. I am near a goal weight (I guess) of 160 pds, but mentally, it is always a roller coaster. I understand that I must eat what my body needs and I have to listen to it, but I also feel extreme shame about it. I know that I am nearing a state where I will have to maintain (I don't think I can have losing weight as a goal forever) and I am anxious about it because I feel as if my worth comes from the fact that I am now ''good'' at losing weight. This video and your channel has given me a lot of perspective that I needed. So, thank you a lot! :)

[@luciasvoboda7344]

I think your point of view is great and makes a lot of sense. As a weight training athlete I'm intentionally cycling weight in order to gain muscle. Your videos have helped me a lot in the all or nothing mentallity of dieting and therefore binging. A few months ago I was eating really healthy (oftentimes not even in a deficit) until I had a meal or a day where I just let loose and ate everything in site. Now I try to include small treats everyday, which makes it much easier to adhere to my macro goals and is also gentler on my body. Once I'm not interested in training as hard and often anymore I think the goal will be to start to eat intuitively, but for now this works and I'm glad I found your videos and am able to learn more about intuitive eating, while not being judge for dieting :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lucia Svoboda that’s amazing

[@fre580]

I'm 200 pounds but have a history of atypical anorexia. Now I'm stuck in this state of being obese and wanting to lose weight the healthy way but my brain just can't do it without obsessing and being disordered.

[@beethovenjunkie]

I'm sorry if this advice is unwelcome, but I'm also obese and, due to mental illness, not able to lose weight at the moment. For me, it helps to think about things I can do to be as healthy as possible without losing weight. Many of the health risks that come with obesity can be reduced by lifestyle changes. Just doing more exercise (rockclimbing and dancing, specifically) helped me get rid of my backpain, for example! And experiencing my body as a source of pleasurable activity and being kind to my body in other ways psychologically helped me be kinder to myself about my weight.

[@cauthoncrazy]

I feel similarly. It is a really bizarre place to find oneself in.

[@jessicah3450]

The mental part is like 90% of weight loss. If there is a dietician who knows some psychology or a psychologist who also studied nutrition, we need more of those!

[@ddowner77]

First work on being less hard on urself about ur weight i weigh 231 and have learned how to be happy I am making small changes so my body doesn’t hurt as much I move at least 15 minutes every day and only if itnis something I love n makes me happy- Start there my internet friend and start ur nee journey- loving ur self where u r wt is the best place to start

[@Ajschroeder7]

Love this!!! I am currently working through some disordered eating issues, and your content has been helpful/encouraging without being extreme (which I need). From my own experience, I am truly coming to believe that many of the weight/food/body image issues people have in our modern society are deeper than the food we eat. I believe the mental health/spiritual health aspects are actually bigger pieces of the health puzzle than most people realize. Getting to the Why is so so important. I really believe that weight loss/gain/maintenance (though not the focus) can very likely be a positive outcome of working through past/present mental health issues.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Anna Schroeder totally!

[@gmochrie7439]

I really appreciate your journey and your honesty. Your grey has been similar for my grey recently. As a bigger body I’ve moved from HAES to making choices that honor my body or hunger while making small changes. The goal is now how my body feels versus how my body sizes. Also saying we should take what serves us and leave behind what doesn’t is exactly what I’ve come to. Thank you - for the compassion and heart.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

G Mochrie thank you 🙏🏻

[@courtneygalloway7578]

I saw one of your videos a couple months ago - you said something along the lines of "if you're listening to your body and eating nutritious foods/meals, your body will adjust to its natural size" - it was the first time in my 25 years of being overweight/consumed by diet culture where everything surrounding food and nutrition just made sense to me. if anything, since seeing that video, I've been eating more - I've just been more conscious of what I'm putting in to my body - and not based off of what will make me lose or gain weight, but based off of what makes me feel energized and not like crap. I've unintentionally lost 15 pounds since then and I don't even worry about if I'll keep losing weight because I just know I will now that I'm living a healthier lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I think what's best for people seeking help from a dietitian to lose weight, is to see someone like you who has their general health in mind, not just the number on their scale.

[@greatfulheartgarcia9884]

I don’t know why I read a lot of comments but this brought happy tears !! Tfs

[@emacosic1001]

I'm sooo happy for youu

[@HeatherIsCool93]

This is what I'm thinking is going to happen with me! Thank you for sharing.

[@begummm11]

Thank you for giving hope to me❤️

[@LissaxKristine]

There is something I wish more HAES/ Intutive Eating/Anti-Diet/Body Positvity influencers would address. There is a lot out there about how our bodies are biologically predisposed to seek foods that are high in fat, salt, and sugar because those are the things that helped our paleolithic ancestors survive. A LOT of money in the food industry is going into research to find the right balance of those elements to encourage consumers to eat more. (It's not a cruel attempt to make everyone fat. It's purely a money issue. Lay's just wants you to eat more chips because it fills their pockets). I can see how people can learn to listen to their body's signals and trust their body when it comes to eating foods that are more or less directly from nature. However, what about highly processed foods that are designed to make consumers want to eat more of them? Why has nobody addressed the psychological and biological impact of highly processed foods in regards to intuitive eating? Now, I'm not saying highly processed foods are bad in any way, but I do feel like this is something that needs to be addressed because while eliminating foods for an arbitrary reason (ie: it's "bad") can lead to disordered eating patterns, I believe that intuitive eating may be more difficult for people who live in "food deserts" and eat too many highly processed foods simply because of all of the salt, fat, and sugar in the foods and how it affects the body. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

[@Kate-hm7cj]

read "The Pleasure Trap" by Dr. Doug Lisle - its amazing -

[@laurenj432]

Yes exactly! This is why I feel like intuitive eating isn’t best for everyone

[@babygurl6962]

i think maybe you dont interact with this group regularly because HAES and intuitive eating promoters frequently do address these things.

[@Thepinkxx]

my body naturally dislike empty calories after eating a lor of sugar I feel sick and weak, also I dislike fruit . My body likes carbs (rice Oats lentis bread.potatos) Fish -vegetables -Soups , fast food from time to time and peanut and almond butter.

[@vulpixelful]

I have never seen an answer from intuitive eating influencers about this. Then they would be forced to say that you have to actually try to control your portion size if that doesn't come naturally to you.

[@ExNihiloArchitecture]

I adore your heart to serve people well and for practicing in the “gray.”

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Nicole Lakra thank you

[@sarahvand3628]

Same.. yay for not being a freakin hardliner ❤

[@tradwitchmorgana6933]

Love seeing your growth. I’d lost weight, going from morbidly obese to normal, and kept it off, just by changing my diet to satiating, whole foods. Then I gained a lot back while struggling with anxiety. I realised while my diet hadn’t been punishing, I hadn’t addressed the reasons I became overweight to start with (chaotic food upbringing, a history of deprivation then binging, using food as a crutch when under pressure). So I started planning and cooking again but also incorporating intuitive principles and mindfulness and I’m slowly seeing the weight drop but also cravings and binging reducing as well. Every time now I get an insatiable craving for a ‘bad’ food, I have a pep talk to my body that it can have it if it really wants it, nothing is banned. Then I pay attention afterwards to how I feel (satisfied, bloated, still hungry etc). It feels like my body is slowly relearning it’s intuition around food. You can definitely do both, it just takes patience. It’s definitely a journey. We don’t expect people with anorexia to get over it quickly. Why do we expect people with disordered eating leading to obesity to change quickly?

[@AbbeysKitchen]

TradWitch Morgana well said!!

[@jillianwickham31]

TradWitch Morgana Yes! People coddle the ill from starvation and then throw a party for a fat person who is obviously starving themselves to lose weight quickly.

[@stefaniek5991]

What a great statement. Keep up the great work!

[@zeeasmr645]

I definitely feel like intuitive eating helped me. I feel like I’m more focused on my health then losing weight. Before on my diets if i had ben and jerrys in the Fridge and told myself no I’m on a diet i was way more tempted to break that diet and eat it. Now I have that ice cream in the fridge and I admire it and will eventually eat it if i want to without guilt and I even noticed I have way more self control. I still haven’t touched it yet but not because of a diet but simply because I haven’t craved it yet and its been a couple weeks which normally by now on a diet i would break that. So definitely seeing a better and improved relationship with food

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Zee Cook so glad!!!

[@Behnors]

This exactly the changes I've noticed with myself since I started to eat intuitively

[@jessicah3450]

Exactly, that ice cream will still be there when you are ready. I grew up, not in poverty, but we didn't always have much food around. It still made me so unsure and anxious, that I had to eat food now if I had it, and overate because there might not be food later. But now you're the adult and in control, and the food you love will still be there, and your diet also isn't ruined if you eat some, and it doesn't make you a bad or lazy person of you eat some. But also, you don't have to eat it, you're free!

[@TheCedx10]

I cried watching this. You made me feel so validated and really feel like I could improve my relationship with food to help not only make myself feel better, but without sacrificing my goals to be the best me on the outside as well.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

TheCedx10 so glad it has helped ❤️

[@ColleenF30]

I am still calorie counting a year later. Down 75lbs, and doing very well healthwise! Diabetes is now not medicated and under control. I am very comfortable in what I am doing. I seem to have found what works for me!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

ColleenKoon77 I’m so glad you have found what works well for you 😊🙏🏼

[@laurenrobson46]

@Ego Amatium It may be mind-boggling to a person who hasn't experienced disordered eating. What I mean is that calorie counting only works for a certain number of people. For many, calorie counting can potentially lead to obsessing over the numbers and shaming oneself after failing to stay under a daily caloric goal. Oftentimes it's best to do it under the supervision of a professional to make sure it's being done healthily and won't lead to an eating disorder.

[@laurenrobson46]

@Ego Amatium No, you do not need to actively count calories to maintain a certain weight. It may be necessary to have some knowledge of calories and how your body processes them, but you can maintain your weight without counting calories. I've maintained the same weight for five years without calorie counting. Your body will tell you what it needs and you can listen to it to know what to feed it (which is a large part of what intuitive eating is and what Abbey Sharp advocates). And regardless, calorie counting is not "basic dieting." There's much more that goes into weight loss and weight loss maintenance than just numbers. A large part of the work is in the mind. The mental part is could easily go wrong, and that's when eating disorders occur. That's where a professional should be able to provide guidance and assistance.

[@rezwanaalamgir9772]

@Ego Amatium people have become more overweight because of the shitty foods they eat and also due to the fact many start to adopt more sedentary lifestyles as they become older. lol you don't need to track your calories and most people don't, unless they're actively trying to lose weight then it can be beneficial

[@emmallen2]

Good for you! Perfect example of healthy and intentional weight loss!

[@b2h316]

I started my journey to intuitive eating by asking myself 2 questions of what I was eating: 1) will this nourish my body? 2) will it nourish my soul (or the slightly less hokey "will it bring me pleasure") It helped reframe my relationship with food and also helped me identify my motivations when it came to food. A salad will surely nourish my body, and eating Haagen-Dasz on my couch nourishes my soul and that's a pretty good reason to eat them both :) it took a long while and an awful lot of soul nurturing for me to merge the two but now I get a lot more pleasure from almost everything that I eat. Once I started identifying why I was eating what I was eating it was easier for me to make mindful decisions about food. I realized that binging on processed snack food really wasn't nourishing my body or my soul and it really made me crave good quality snacks like my overpriced ice cream or apples with almond butter or that really decadent full fat Greek yogurt (I'm talking the 10% stuff). It also made me much less inclined to eat larger portions than I really needed to because I felt fulfilled. I get excited now at the prospect of adding more vegetables to my dinner, or picking the perfect protein to go with it, and finding different ways to bump up the nutrition. I love being able to nourish my body and it nourishes my soul to do so. I dont ask myself the questions anymore because they're habit now

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Brittany 2H amazing!

[@jillianwickham31]

Brittany 2H This is such a delightful and inspiring and wonderful comment. Thank you. This is where I’m headed as well. 🥗🍨🥦

[@megangaboda3276]

Wow, I can’t wait until I’m in that place!!

[@rosellaaj3709]

Thank you so much for this!! I like how you're honest about the "pleasure" aspect and also the thing about buying the quality "soul" foods because they're more satisfying and isn't that the goal when we reach for soul food? This is so good thank you I'm gonna try this

[@L_W748]

“Shift your focus to behaviors rather than the number on the scale”. This line hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to type it out so it will stick. I was fully immersed in diet culture when I found your channel and your videos are really helping me heal from my body dysmorphia and disordered eating. I can’t thank you enough for thoughtfully taking the time to put together such great content. You are truly helping people and making a difference!!

[@annala2956]

When you say the changes must be "easy and pleasurable" - I feel like that's not always true. When ones health isn't in dire risk (complications from diabetes, cardio-respiratory issues) then the changes may not be easy or pleasurable. Sometimes making real and important changes are uncomfortable. Let's say it's not about diet but about a bad habit at work that is putting you at risk of losing your job (like playing on your phone too much). You may have to leave your phone in your car or put away somewhere out of reach. That would be uncomfortable and not easy, but it'd be required. Are you more referring to changes for a person who may be fighting higher weight but is otherwise healthy? Then, yes, the small changes are great and I agree. I also get what you mean by being a slave to diet culture. I was and can sometimes fall victim unless I force myself to put down the food diary, etc. Again...an uncomfortable change for me but necessary.

[@svety4444]

Wow this was a really insightful comment

[@Cammerlot]

I think this is along the lines of “self care” being more like washing your dishes, calling the doctor, and saving your money for yourself in the future. Not all “easy” behaviorally but the common sense kind of easy. That once you do it the first time it’s easy after that because of how much better you feel.

[@darkerSolstice]

So, I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in October, and I've spent the past 3 months trying to figure out the changes I need to make--that I'll also *keep up with*. See, in addition to diabetes, I have ADHD, and if something isn't easy enough to remember and work with, and pleasurable enough to catch my monkey brain, I'm not going to continue it over time. For me, adding exercise to my life has required me to find ways to make exercise fun. Adjusting my diet (note, not going *on* a diet) has required me to find foods that intrigue me. A lot of my problem was that I'd fallen into a pattern of fast food being easy and quick and satisfying. So I've had to find ways to make better meals easy and quick and satisfying in order for them to 'compete'. And the way I've approached that problem for myself has been to sign up for an Imperfect Produce weekly box, because if fresh fruits and veggies are going to show up on my doorstep, I might as well try and cook them, right? Monkey brain appreciates the challenge of figuring out what to do with colorful produce. Add to that a.) actually making sure I get a breakfast, even if that's a Glucerna shake, every-single-day and b.) getting more thoughtful about portion control and recognizing that I don't need to clean my plate for no good reason, and that's the beginning of a plan that is, in fact, easy and pleasurable, while being effective in addressing my personal health goals. Look, I know this may sound like I'm minimizing the need for changes, but like. When you make things hard and uncomfortable, you're more likely to lose someone like me. Even with the small changes I've made, I've managed to bring my A1C down from a 10.1% at diagnosis to 6.0% earlier this month.

[@zencat55]

@@darkerSolstice You're so right. I worked as a health care professional and I have my own weight problems. People are much more amenable to long term changes when it's done slowly and is enjoyable. I made the decision to stop dieting and I've lost weight. No lie - at first I binged but then I noticed that I was starting to eat less. I feel much more relaxed and comfortable.

[@ima7333]

Solstice Hannan good for you to be able to find a way that works for you. Personally i too struggle with weight issues and body image issues during my teenage yrs. Then i wise up and simply do what i find attractive (lean & toned body) & ignore what people around me say about me. I also had cancer and i found that eating 90% whole food plant based oil free is the to go (again for me) is best. I only need to check my calories intake in the beginning to ensure i got enough and once i got the hang of it, things fall into their places. My health got significantly better. My tumor marker got down to all time low that it baffled my doctors that totally makes me happy. Keep up your progress. We’re all on a quest to be our better and healthier self. As a professional fitness personal trainer, i think compliance is best at making the weight loss/gain sustainable.

[@crystalgroves3335]

I’d like to know more about hypothyroidism from a diet perspective

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Crystal Groves on the list

[@gracied1114]

Yasss thank you! I was going to say that too!

[@effacalorie]

Thank you SO MUCH for making this video. When I first started looking into intuitive eating, it made so much sense to me. I was like, this is great, this sounds like a much more sustainable way to reach a healthier weight without having to stress about calories or carbs or setting meal times. I even started listening to podcasts about it, and they are SO DISCOURAGING. The podcast Food Psych especially, she'll bring on guests and they'll mention they started out wanting to lose weight through intuitive eating and they both have a great laugh about the ridiculousness of someone "in a larger body" trying to become "someone in a smaller body" and how diets don't work, and HAES and you need to make peace with the body you're in... I'm 100 lbs overweight. I'm physically uncomfortable. And this movement is telling me that I basically have to suck it up because I'll never be able to get to a size I'm comfortable with. It made me want to give up and keep binge eating if it was going to be pointless anyway.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

AmyLameyBobamey thank you for sharing this 🙏🏼

[@AnnieBellet]

HAES and IE are about making peace with food and your body where you are at now. It doesn't mean you won't lose weight (or you might gain, or maintain, weight is not the focus or the point). The whole point of health at every size is that we have to deal with where we are at, not just idealize where we want to be because our bodies might not agree with our own arbitrary idea of what we should look like. HAES is about saying "I'm uncomfortable but here are some health-promoting things I can do to help myself be happier, healthier, and feel better in the body I have because my body is me" So I'm sorry you feel discouraged, but even if that smaller body you desire never manifests, there are so many things you can do to feel better right now. That's why the ten steps of IE are so important and why they are a progression to be worked through at our own pace for each individual.

[@cauthoncrazy]

Oof, yes, you nailed it.

[@hannerikruger7216]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ So sorry that you've had this experience

[@jamiemaxcold9325]

This is the video I’ve been looking for. I’ve really always rejected diet culture and do my best to not participate in my personal life with friends. However, I’m 5’4 and at my heaviest was 301 pounds. I really doubt 301 pounds is my “happy weight”. Telling someone who weights 300 pounds to not to try to even lose weight cause diets don’t work is dangerous. I started using noom which is at its heart is a cico diet. However, Noom does introduce the idea of intuitive eating and teaches nutrition. Also does introduce the idea that you may want to rethink your ideal weight and look for more of your happy weight. I have lost 50 pounds and I never feel deprived. I am eating the healthiest I ever have. I still eat Doritos and Reese’s peanut butter cups when the craving strikes. I guess my point is I’m glad to hear someone say intuition eating may not be the best option but to try and incorporate the concepts into your life. I am finding I need structure in my diet or I feel lost. When I am lost I end up eating poorly with large portion sizes. I hope to someday get to a point where I can trust myself to intuitively eat, but it’s going to take some time and more structure.

[@emrose333]

This comment has helped me as I gained a very abnormal amount of weight in 3 years and now I’m obese. Yes I want to lose weight but I also realize it’s not mainly about looking good and being smaller or whatnot, or at least it shouldn’t be the sole focus. I want to feel healthy, I want to be in tune with my body but I also don’t want to fall into “diet culture scams” as these people also say. On the flip side when one us obese or whatever, I also realize being at a healthy weight, whatever that would be for us while feeling healthy is also important though it’s hard to do that without “disordered” tactics but perhaps it’s not always like that. I’m trying to look into other peoples journeys to see what I can incorporate that feels right. I also like that you reviews noom as I’ve thought about joining that before. This was the comment I was unintentionally looking for, thank you :)

[@thehealthyolive5736]

As someone who is studying to become a dietitian, I applaud you for trying to meet individuals where they are, and being compassionate about their approaches. Thank you for being genuine and understanding. Although I disagree with some specific points you made about weight loss. I don't necessarily think it's fair to say someone doesn't have control over their weight. Sure, weight fluctuates based on numerous factors (that time of the month, menopause, pregnancy, water weight, bloating, etc.), and yes, we can't control those factors, but just as you stated the phrase "most diets fail" as discouraging, it may also seem discouraging to some people that they have no control over their weight. Having no control over your weight has a defeatist semblance to it since there is a logical way to at least maintain your weight i.e. maintaining a caloric balance, and exercising. Also, many people aren't able to eat intuitively because of their own circumstances or situation. What I mean by that is just as anorexia can cause hormonal dysfunction, so can being "overweight" or "obese". The hunger hormones leptin and ghrelin don't work as well if you're someone who is heavier than what they should be. This can make it difficult to know when you're hungry and when you're not, causing difficulty when trying to listen to your body. Finally, people who have eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and others all across the spectrum), mental health disorders, and any other disorder that makes it challenging to eat better, and to live a healthier lifestyle should seek professional help if they can, instead of seeking out a certain way of eating. It matters how people face their issues and handle them instead of focusing on the symptoms only i.e. disordered eating, and not the cause. What matters is espousing a healthier lifestyle, and that goes beyond eating healthy and exercising. P.S. This wasn't meant to be critical, you are a lovely dietitian! The health crisis we have is definitely a challenge, and as dietitians I understand we are doing the best we can to help the people we are serving. Best wishes to you and your family!😊

[@AbbeysKitchen]

The Healthy Olive thank you!! ❤️🙏🏼 good points

[@FlyingWonderGirl]

Compassion for myself is actually a goal of mine this year

[@AbbeysKitchen]

FlyingWonderGirl great goal

[@aliyahdrissim]

Something that is really helpful for me when losing weight while eating intuitively is to eat whatever I want when I’m hungry and nothing when I’m not. You’re not going to always want something unhealthy. I’m learning that when I’m hungry yes I can have three large cookies, but I know from experience that my stomach will hurt and I’ll feel really tired. So instead I’m going to eat 1-2 cookies and maybe some fruit or yogurt on the side and if I’m full from that I stop eating and still feel great afterwards.

[@MaryannAuger]

I like your approach! I don't promote intentional weight loss or advocate for it but as a personal trainer, a lot of people come to me in order to lose weight. I would never turn someone down just for wanting to lose weight. I just turn the focus to behaviors and moving their bodies for health, feeling good, etc. without dismissing the fact that they want to lose weight. I simply don't bring up weight loss unless they do. And when they do, I always talk about being kind to ourselves. I like the idea of saying that we can't really control if we will lose weight or not, that ultimately, our body will decide. I'm an intuitive eating advocate and I consider myself a HAES, non-diet personal trainer but I think we have to meet people where they are and if someone still wants to lose weight in the end, I won't send them away because I rather they have the help of someone like me (or another trainer with similar philosophies) who can encourage kindness and incorporating healthy behaviors instead of going to see someone who will promote damaging and unsafe methods. I think there's a middle ground and in the end, we are here to help the client and guide them, not tell them what to do.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Maryann Auger amazing!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@ima7333]

I too am a personal trainer who specializes in weight loss. I often encounter clients who eat mindlessly or to soothe an emotional pain or frustration. I often empathize/sympathize w/ them as i use to turn to exercise to let go of my emotions. I don’t know what you mean by “damaging” but i often ask client to send me photos of their meals before & after. I helped lots of clients lose a whole lot of weight over long period of time. However when someone ask me for a quick weight loss exercise routine without giving me any other info such as what they eat and lifestyle, i usually tell them it’s not doable. Coz while i understand what they’re asking for, most of the time they’re thinking of exercising lots while eating minimum calories which is a no no for me. .

[@AimeeGroenewald]

Maryann Auger could you come to South Africa and train me please 😂 wonderful!! I wish more personal trainers were like you x

[@MaryannAuger]

Aimee Groenewald thank you so much xx

[@MaryannAuger]

Majesty Hill You’re so right! I’m not here to tell someone what to do. I’m there to teach and guide them and then help them. I just add make sure to add self-compassion and self-kindness in the equation!

[@johnd5574]

This is such a difficult topic to tackle, for a myriad of reasons. But I have to say as someone with a clinical psych MS degree that your guidance on taking things slow, making small changes, having a slow wt loss goal, and focusing on self-kindness and compassion is totally on-point with the psych science for health and long term maintenance. 👍🙂

[@AbbeysKitchen]

John D thank you!! 😊🙏🏼

[@Sophie-rq5gx]

Embarking on the IE journey and I feel like I'm in the gray area. It's comforting to see a professional there, too. Thanks for sharing!

[@AnnieBellet]

As long as you are honest with your clients that long-term weight loss isn't possible for 95% or more of people and also warn them of the dangers and health issues associated with weight-cycling and that restriction/dieting is one of the top predictors of weight gain, I guess there's no conflict. It is about being informed in the end, at which point we have autonomy and if people want to restrict (which is what intentional weight loss requires) that's their choice. As a professional though, I feel there is a duty there to gently inform people that there are dangers/risks with dieting and make sure that your client is fine with short term results that may lead to long term results that are the opposite of what they want and poorer health. Where I find ethical issues is when professionals have different standards for people in smaller bodies vs larger bodies, and also when they claim to be HAES or to teach IE practices but also are fine with advocating restriction and dieting. Intentional weight loss requires restriction in the end, and we know there are very really biological consequences for this. It might be discouraging to say "diets don't work" but... we have the research shows that they don't work. It might suck to fight diet culture and have to tell people things they don't want to hear, but that might ethical in the end because it is what the research shows. Saying "you can lose weight slowly and gradually, intentionally" is... a diet. Research on "slow" diets also shows this method doesn't work. Some people who make peace with food and eat intuitively do lose weight. Some people don't. Some gain. But intentional weight loss is restriction and restriction has never been shown to work long-term. But my anorexic brain hears "you can reach a comfortable weight" from a professional and immediately starts thinking "oh, it's okay then/I should be controlling my eating more"... anyway, this is my two cents as someone who lives in a larger body with a restrictive ED who has been through all this diet shit for 22 years. Holding on to intentional weight loss seems like it isn't going to lead to health since it doesn't lead to long-term results and has so many potentially negative downsides and almost no upside.

[@AnnieBellet]

(I do want to say I loved the end advice of the video. Adding instead of thinking about substituting has worked really well for me and been an easier thing to do especially when fighting my eating disorder brain. Thank you for this!)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

I totally can appreciate what you’re saying and it’s exactly what I mean by it’s a slippery slope. But at the end of the day I want to be inclusive of all people’s goals and desires even if they’re philosophically at odds with science / odds / my own

[@valeriemcdonald440]

I agree with the idea of gentle, positive changes. 50lbs down so far. Here's my experience: Sometimes you need to take something out of the diet for health reasons. It's easier to take things one at a time, and preferably add something else that is rewarding back in. I have brought full fat milk back into the house because I am a dairy lover and I hate skim milk. Now I have a small glass of milk whenever I want instead of a tall glass of juice, and that's my thing. For a reward or when I need to destress, I go to the archery range. I go "off diet" when I'm at other people's houses and stick to what works at home. No stress. It's not a race.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Valerie McDonald love it!!!

[@ksuxaksks]

It's easy and unfair to say that weight loss is dangerous or unhealthy when are so slim and good looking. Just not fair. And I never hear you suggest any healthy "the right way" methods of losing weight. Being obese is not healthy or attractive why should we want to stay like that? I really don't get it. And, also, if all dietitians are leaning away from weight loss, then what is your job? Lol what do they do now then? Wasn't this the primary job of dietitians is to teach people how to eat healthy, not be obese and be healthy? My example, I was 60-70 kgs before kids, now I'm 100-105. It's hard to exercise, to bend down, to have sex... why should I love this body? It's like saying "love your flu, it's part of you"... tf? Obesity is a disease, we need to heal ourselves, not embrace it. man... maybe make a video where you teach us a healthy way to lose weight? Or decrease BMI...

[@laurenmiller1401]

Watched your channel for about 8 months and never have I loved or related to one of your videos as much as this one. Living in the grey is tricky but human beings are endlessly complex so a case by case approach resonates with me so much more. I just love to see someone grow and shed old belief systems that no longer serve them. I can imagine what a hard shift this is for your channel and career but just know you’re doing it with absolute grace and you’ve got support!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

lauren miller thank you 🙏🏼

[@jennzobel7630]

Totally agree when you said that intuitive eating doesn't work for some! I've been tracking macros for 6 years, and the thought of not tracking stresses me out! I love that I can eat what I want, and still maintain an appropriate caloric intake dependent on my personal goals at the time.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jenn Zobel amazing!!

[@callmecharlottex]

@@AbbeysKitchen apparently some people feel they can intuitively eat while losing weight, by taking a more intuitive approach, if that makes sense? For instance, I feel like all foods fit but I don't want to continuously stuff myself and gain a lot of unnecessary pounds.

[@Kaitaritz2013]

Thank you for this video. I was practicing intuitive eating before having my baby, and adopted calorie counting and healthy eating habits post baby to lose the weight. It made me realize that I wasn’t being very healthy before and needed to change my eating habits. However I incorporate flexibility, compassion and an overall body positive attitude and self talk into my current approach. I don’t feel like I belong in the intuitive eating communities I used to be part of because they are so anti weight loss, but I wanted to pursue weight loss to feel myself again and fit into my clothes again. I constantly use my IE knowledge to check myself and make sure I’m not being too restrictive. I feel really good overall, physically and mentally. I love the structure of my nutrition and I love feeling myself again as I’m almost back to my pre baby size. Thank you for supporting those in the grey area trying to find their balance.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Kaitaritz2013 I’m so glad you found what works for you

[@padfootslover]

I count calories while trying to be mindful with how I eat. Just because I log it, it doesn’t mean I have to eat it. I make sure to check in with myself while eating, so that I don’t overeat in that moment. I’m a work in progress but I think this meshing of the two can work for me.

[@rosellaaj3709]

"just because I log it doesn't mean I have to eat it." It's an option. I love that. Hope you're doing well I'm also in that boat rn

[@amelliaknowles3141]

you remind me of an older Caroline Forbes from the Vampire Diaries !! Love this video too x

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Bree ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@laurenrobson46]

Agree 1000%

[@cynthiar3444]

I have been thinking that too. Where is Klaus?!

[@AnniMcSally]

I used to be 8-10 kg heavier (depending on the season). I just changed a couple things that were super easy for me to do. I started cooking for myself more, I added more vegetables to the dishes I was making, I reduced my sugar intake a little bit and walked more. Nothing dramatic. It's been 5 years now and I haven't weight that much ever since.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

AnniMcSally glad you found something that works

[@dotexe6415]

"Its possible to learn some of these techniques, whilst still holding it in your heart somehow." This is basically how I'm reducing my eating disorder tendancies. By acknowledging that I still want to lose weight, but getting my health in order. Before I make any other decisions. Nothing else has worked.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

dot exe glad you’ve found what works for you

[@ispyamoose]

I'm in the grey area and it leaves me not knowing what to do. I struggle with binge eating disorder and related food restriction after I've gone on a snack binge. I'm 315lbs. Every person I've seen for nutrition so far has suggested things that seem harmless but are extremely triggering to me. ("Eat no more than 1300 calories a day, don't have sauces, ONLY drink water, no butter, only oils or oil sprays, only chicken, turkey, or fish for your meat") I've tried consuming less butter, I've started consuming less red meat, I'm eating more salads, and drinking water far more often. What sucks is my eating disorder is ignored and all they see is me over 300lbs at 5'4". I know I do need to be at a healthier weight for my personal body, but at what cost? I left the office crying after that because I was so overwhelmed. I understand I shouldn't eat refined carbs and processed foods as much as I do, but it made me feel like food shouldn't be enjoyable because I'm fat, if that makes sense.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

iheartninjas24 definitely. This is a huge problem- practitioners treating patients differently based on size when obviously telling you to restrict is so damaging and is fueling the binging. I hope you can find a therapist and RD who better is aligned to your needs

[@kitkaty3587]

We can’t even all agree that the world is round 😂 if that make you feel better. Your honesty is very appreciated and refreshing✨

[@coby_mj2536]

It's been hard to find a intuitive dietician in my city. This rant gave me the confidence to just take the leap and trust that any good dietician can adapt to my needs. TY.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Coby_mj 🙏🏼❤️

[@mrskaa7584]

Stop making this so confusing for everyone. As a dietician, if you are employed by a hospital and get a referral for a patient who is unable to eat or be tube fed, and you are asked to come up with TPN order to maintain the patient's current weight, do you throw your hands up and say, "Oh I've got no control over that!!"? You would get fired. I suspect you would do the math and come up with the calories and nutrients in a TPN that will maintain the patient's weight. And if you noticed that the patient starts to lose or gain significant weight while on that TPN, you would not announce, "Well that is what their body obviously wants to do,, I've got no control over that!!" Er...no. You would decrease or increase the patient calories accordingly. You are talking out of both sides of your mouth and you know it. And you aren't helping people stay or get healthy by constantly trying to stay PC and not offend anyone, and you are creating a serious lack of education and accountability. You can love and respect people at all sorts of weights, but if they want to lose weight and/or become fitter and healthier, please don't tell them that they ultimately have no control over that. Your pants fitting more snugly or loosely every few days due to hormonal shifts or water/salt balance has nothing to do with the fact that people are able indeed able to gain or lose significant weight to get themselves at a healthier place. It is disingenuous to imply otherwise.

[@life.unrestricted.withmere7354]

Your message directly contradicts the very message of the authors of Intuitive Eating Elyse Resch and Evelyne Tribole. They explicitly say: Intuitive Eating is NOT for weight loss, it is for healing one's relationship with food. Whatever happens with the weight, happens. Some stay the same, some gain, some lose. Be careful whom you attract like this. A lot of eating disorder people are following you and you are directly colluding with our "ED" brains.I am sure you mean well, but I sense some serious fencestraddling here. No accusing, just suspecting...

[@Eladelia]

Suspecting what?

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Absolutely. And I acknowledge that if you watch my full video. What I am saying here is simply that it’s okay to still want to lose weight and that I’m not guilting or shaming you if you do, but rather I’m open to you finding your own combination of strategies that work for you. That’s all. I acknowledge that to really fully embrace IE you need to reject the diet mentality but if you can’t that I am not against ppl picking and choosing what elements serve them

[@rubygreta1]

@@AbbeysKitchen Still having trouble with this. A 5' 2" 160 lb. unhappy woman walks into your office. One year later, taking your advise, she is a 5'2" 160 lb. body positive happy woman. Sorry, but this is 90% failure.

[@jk3253]

I really like your channel and think you generally have a balanced approach by thinking of intuitive eating as a skill that is learned over time. That said, I find your angst over how to deal with clients who want to lose weight somewhat triggering. You always seem to assume a smaller body as the default, even in this video about weight loss!! Not everyone who wants to lose weight is just buying into toxic diet culture. We are also in the midst of an obesity epidemic, in addition to a diet culture epidemic. The two are not contradictory. Yes the pursuit of weight loss has some risks like falling into disordered eating. But not addressing obesity also has MAJOR health risks, and thus fat loss is a very reasonable goal to have for many people. I say this as someone who is obese and has struggled with obesity since childhood. I appreciate the growth that you have had on this subject, and I do think you have come to a much more balanced approach here. But your repeatedly denying fat loss as a good goal to have is frustrating

[@mendyjanke]

thank you so much for this video. I was seeing an intuitive eating and HAES dietician because I wanted to learn how to really get in touch with my body's needs however I also medically need to lose weight. I have severe joint issues due to multiple rheumatic disorders. She was completely unwilling to even discuss the healthy way to deal with weight loss even though I stressed that I needed to take the pressure off my joints that the added weight has created. I felt ashamed for mentioning that I weighed myself and judged for wanting to lose weight at all.

[@jamiem6088]

IMO and what works for me is really listening to your body and trying to keep the “pleasure” in a reasonable place. That means I try to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full by mainly listening to my body using the hunger scale. On the other hand if I feel like eating sweets I will eat some. With these less nutritious foods I like to ask myself If I really want it (if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hard no!). If I wouldn’t do it i would eat only processed food

[@Elinious]

I truly do not understand this lol sometimes losing weight is the right approach for someone's health. How is that controversial?!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Eline Anne yah I hear you

[@RosesareRed38]

The more I ate whole unprocessed foods the less I craved sugary ones. I was basically undereating but now that I eat more I don’t crave all that junk food anymore!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

RosesareRed38 glad you’re found something that works for yoy

[@ebbyc1817]

Me? No. I had no idea I was eating so little protein until I started tracking it. For me a typical lunch would have been, wholewheat pasta or beans or rice, with brussels sprouts, almonds or cashews (or both)... which contains 10 maybe 15g of protein. By the end of the day I would have eaten maybe 30-60g of protein, which is nooowhere near what my body needs, to maintain lean body mass. I was just eating what I liked. So for now, no. And yes, tracking is stressful. Just like any habit can be stressful. Going to bed and waking up at the same time, everyday, I find that verrrry stressful. Would I naturally eat so much protein. Nope, no way. So it's really about the person.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Ebby C absolutely

[@PluviophileTraveller]

I respect your gray area mentality so much. It's a rare voice on KZbin and even in general. You're very discerning and thoughtful. I appreciate you.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

JennFriedman thank you 🙏🏼

[@LissaxKristine]

I really love how you've been approaching this middle ground between HAES and "dieting" (eating with the intention of losing weight). While I've always loved your sass when it comes to commentary on What I Eat in a Day videos (I'm looking at you, Bananas!), I also struggle with how judgemental many people are of people who do want to lose weight. I'm currently on WW (Weight Watchers). I do measure and track my foods- and I have chosen to be on the plan that has me tracking points for the MOST foods. However, for me, that structure is helping me learn about what my body really needs. Allowing myself full permission to eat ice cream and cookies whenever I want and keeping a kitchen stocked with sweets meant I ate a TON of sweets. I needed to choose a plan that makes me think twice about when I indulge. This restriction has helped me. It didn't make me crave them more or binge like many people assume will happen. Instead, having times where I consume little to no added sugar and times where I DO indulge in sweets has helped me see how sugar affects my body. It wasn't until I experienced how I felt WITHOUT sugar that I realized that too much sugar can affect my anxiety. It's the same way that some people need to follow an elimination diet to pinpoint which foods, if any, are causing health issues. I have not eliminated any foods (except artificial sweeteners because I learned long ago that they make me feel like crap). I still eat dessert with real sugar. I go to all you can eat buffets. I have days where all I want is to eat veggies. I have days where I end up stressed and eat cake for dinner. Still, I use those experiences to teach me. In all, I'm down about 22 pounds since the end of September. My ultimate goal is to not need to track my food- at least with not as much precision as I am currently. Maybe this means switching to a plan with more 0 point foods down the line. Perhaps this means tracking sporadically. I don't know. Regardless, I am trying to shape my eating habits so that I'm eating in a way that is sustainable for me.

[@eleighgirl9312]

What you said at 11:48 is exactly how I felt when I tried to go “all in.” I needed more structure. I’m approaching IE in a way that makes sense to me now. Finally, I feel healthy where I didn’t before. I finally feel like I’m not insane since someone is actually addressing the issue that some people can’t simply reside to all or nothing attitude when it comes to diet and health.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Eleigh Girl so glad it helped!

[@rosellaaj3709]

@@AbbeysKitchen SAMEEE

[@conniebillingsley3758]

You know, I’m almost 60 yo and I’ve been calorie counting since Sept. this is it … I’m done with all the fad garbage stuff out there! I’m gonna do this because I love feeling good and having energy!! I’m going slow, making lifestyle changes that make me feel great and most of all trying to be consistent. I just finished watching your intuitive eating series and I had been thinking… “ya know , I love these thoughts but I really think she’s missing something. 🤔🤔I think you CAN incorporate calorie counting AND intuitive eating together and lose weight in a healthy gentle self kind way”. Then… I came across THIS video!! I felt like this one balanced all the other ones out… Awesome👍 ! You should make this your 11th one in your series. Thanks for all the great info! So helpful😊

[@victoriagibbs4209]

I lost weight with intuitive eating. I am 5’9 and went from 140 to 133 pounds. I truly eat whatever I want, whenever I want with no restrictions. Sometimes I eat candy or even ice cream for breakfast but then I always crave something more nutritious for the other meals. I don’t think about food at all. Listen to your bodies, folks!

[@beccaboven521]

Abbey, thank you so much for this video. It's so evident that you care for your clients and their health journey, which is different for everyone! I love that you stress being gentle and compassionate when exploring your health. Keep up the good work and keep making informative videos!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Becca Boven thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@katherinebaker4]

Thank you. I think everyone on either end of the spectrum has been very vocal, making people in the middle feel like they're the only ones who think that way. But I love that you eloquently expressed this middle ground.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Katherine Baker thank you

[@freelynourished949]

Abby you are so sweet in the delivery of your messages and I can relate to you so much. As an RD2be with a disordered eating past I sometimes worry that while I whole heartedly agree with the intuitive eating and anti diet message, that I may project some of my own issues on others. & while I love the HAES movement, it doesn’t always feel like a place people can exercise body autonomy if the do want to lose weight. On the other hand, I feel so frustrated by RD’s in the field who promote such fat phobic and diet culture ridden messages. It is so so so important to have people like you standing in the middle for our field. You get me so excited to get started in my career. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you do. ❤️❤️❤️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Honest Health Life thank you ❤️❤️ best of luck!

[@courteneyskye5690]

As someone who used to have an eating disorder and is now recovered, I agree that there’s a place for both views. I haven’t watched all of your videos on intuitive eating so correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like for people with really disordered eating behaviors some structure is necessary to learn what a healthy diet is. When I started recovery, I wouldn’t have known what to do if my dietitian didn’t give me a structure and then keep track of calories for me. Now several years later I don’t need that and can eat intuitively but I think a structured diet can really be a good starting point.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Courteney Skye totally. Everyone is different in their recovery

[@rocketsoccer1]

Thanks for making this video! I lost about 20 pounds last year by pretty much simply counting calories but not restricting any sorts of food, and only losing ~1 lb a week while taking 1-2 week breaks from being in a deficit every 3-4 weeks (+ increased activity, mostly walking and some resistance training). It worked really well for me, and I have gone back to trying to eating intuitively and not counting, but I've always been one to struggle with weight because I do fall in the category of "I overeat because it tastes good." I respect the HAES movement and even after reaching my "goal" weight which I feel is the weight my body is comfortable at, I'm still on the lower end of "overweight" in traditional terms. But I do think it is really great you are acknowledging that everyone approaches food differently, and even if someone's goal is weight loss they should be able to do it in their own healthy way, that works for them, but might not work for someone else (in my case, calorie counting worked great for me.)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

meganrmz thanks for sharing!!

[@hannahthomnoble8300]

Abbey, your voice and dialogue online is so valuable! Thank you for being so open to listening and adapting how you approach things ❤️ I lie in the grey area with my relationship with food. I am often able to practice intuitive eating, and I'm getting better with practice, but my mental health is very up and down. So on a bad day the best thing I can do is to plan my meals in advance and be strict on those days, and I even have a little emergency meal plan saved on my phone for those dark days, so I don't need to think about it. This video was so relevant to me and was so encouraging. Thank you girl!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Hannah Thom Noble so glad it helped

[@EliseSecond]

Healthy crazy cool did a vegan keto experiment. So they don't have to exclude each other :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Minoes yes I know! However, majority of people who follow keto don’t do it plant-based unfortunately

[@Marpete721]

I’m becoming more and more aware and therefore supportive of HAES and non weight loss related health. Which I love! BUT... after my first pregnancy I was the heaviest I’ve ever been. And my joints ACHED. I could hardly get up from off the ground. I honestly didn’t feel good. The moment I lost weight and got stronger the pain stopped. Did the increase in activity and closer monitoring of my intake help, and the weight loss was secondary? Probably. But I’d be lying if I said losing the weight didn’t help. I totally get what you’re saying, this is such a gray area.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Mommy Dearest it really is

[@AQuinn-my3qt]

I'm at where you were. I feel in pain and really don't feel good in my body. I am doing my best at creating healthy behaviors. I hope I will lose weight, but it's not my top priority. I've been working out more, and I'm starting to feel better already. Even though some of my joints still hurt.

[@mailenteiseth9398]

I think any kind of weight loss should start with a psychiatrist to find out what the reason behind wanting to loose weight or the reason behind unhealthy habits that have lead to weight gain

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Mailen Teiseth it’s a good starting point for sure

[@mtngrace123]

If everyone actually listened to their body and ate intuitively in the first place wouldn’t they not be overweight?

[@brittniep9219]

Probably most people but they have to be taught that. Most of us aren’t taught to eat that way. I provide snacks for my students for this reason. I want them to eat when they need to eat. We are taught in K-12 to eat at x time x amount of times per day. Many students don’t have access to nutritious food in my area, some parts of my city are considered a food desert. Some people develop disordered eating from these eating patterns, mental health and ED is a big factor even if they’re “thin,” and lastly hormonal, genetic and health factors. The only people I have ever met that naturally ate this way were upper middle class people with good genetics. I’ve yet to meet a poor person that didn’t have some issues around food, in my own personal life experience in California.

[@shungumariti7742]

Love this!!! I've been living in the grey for a couple of years now. Tried intuitive eating, it was useful to help me find peace with food but once I got there I hated not having structure and the continuous weight gain I experienced. I started watching what I ate and slowly lost weight and have kept it off for two years effortlessly. I still practice some of the principles of intuitive eating and I believe that's why I haven't slipped back into disordered eating. I think intuitive eating is just another tool. It doesn't apply to everyone, in any circumstance, every single time. Like all things in life......it depends......and it should be nuanced. The vilification of diets usually has no context. Ultimately pursuing weight loss is a personal choice that people should be free to exercise without being ostracized.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Shungu Mariti totally agree

[@janiebruce8579]

Abbey, you are helping me so much by making this intuitive eating series. I've been struggling with the full range of disordered eating for five years, and stumbling upon your content is the first time I've really understood what it can mean to accept love and respect for your body. Hearing someone be able to objectively describe a very confusing diet-world with such an open and understanding attitude genuinely put me to tears. The good you are doing on this platform is more than you know! Thank you!

[@KevinBurciaga]

I think HAES is almost a form of gaslighting: "you don't really want to lose weight, that's just the modern culture telling you that." I find that disgusting. Weight loss comes with benefits and sometimes it is indicated. HAES is fatalism.

[@jennieeveleighlamond]

Hearing the little shrieks in the background made me giggle. As always, you are awesome Abbey, thank you!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Jennie Eveleigh Lamond he doesn’t get the whole quiet on the set thing yet lol

[@greenolly]

ugh, why can't you be in North Carolina!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Gooseperch if only!

[@mealover4]

Hi Abbey. I just want to say that I loved this video. Thank you for holding space for this topic. When I had anorexia, it was important for me to go “all in” with weight gain in recovery. However, after recovering a few years later from purging disorder, it was my goal to compassionately lose weight. It has been this pursuit of weight loss without a disorder that has prompted me to find acceptance for my body. I am working closely with my therapist as well as my GP, who have been with me from active disorder to thriving recovery. We came to the conclusion that my desire to lose weight after recovery came from a place of desiring my set point instead of listening to the voice of a disorder. I have found that I love now that my body has worked to keep me alive through severe challenges, & I know that even if I do not reach my loose weight goal, I will be content trusting my body. Thanks again for supporting your followers & allowing for gray areas in your perspective. Much love.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Clara C thank you for your bravery on this!!

[@justjosephineful]

I really loved this video, this is the kind of grey I am living in right now and it felt great to hear a health care professional discuss it

[@geniej2378]

I thought there's an obesity epidemic? That's a health epidemic where dietitians are one of the best evidence based tools to recovery. I don't see how weight loss is "doing harm" in that context.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

its so controversial

[@FleurPillager]

@@AbbeysKitchen Is it? The negative health consequences of obesity are well documented aren't they?

[@Bulhbluhbuy]

Fleur Bandito I think she’s talking about whether or not weight loss (specifically intentional weight loss diets) is “doing harm” in that context. This is opposed to making easy, healthy changes in terms of food/life with the goal of being healthy instead of specifically the goal of weight loss.

[@nikksterr0902]

This bringing me to tears. Thanks for your honesty and willingness to engage with these tough questions. I’ve been looking for clarity on this for a long time and your thoughts really help!

[@alignwithandrea2661]

LOVE this video so much!! So important to remember that we all have different goals, and we shouldn't put down anyone else's goals just because they may be different to our own. At the end of the day I think we all want to reach a point of inner peace and a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and our bodies...Amen to "meeting people where they are!" x

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Align with Andrea totally!

[@blairpersyn4580]

As a fellow registered dietitian, this is so helpful because I’m still (even though this was 2 years ago) seriously dealing with this in my career. The divide needs to be talked about more

[@gabriellasantos6318]

Thank you for this video! Just started a new eating journey, after 15 years of disorder eating. It’s been really hard for me, because after 2 years at home without moving my body much, and depressed, eating fast foods everyday, I want to go back to having a better diet, feeling strong, and feeling my best self. I’m trying to balance wanting to eat well, and have a strong and fitter body, with the temptations of diet culture. Being in the gray is so hard, but this video and your channel definitely help me a lot.

[@TheMrsarahanne90]

I really like that you made this video. I think that many times, even professionally, we try to make a complex situation black and white. Especially when we are still a bit newer to our own experiences. I love the HAES approach to body positivity in that all bodies deserve respect, compassion, and quality health care. But I just cant get on board with the idea that there aren't real health risks to certain diets or certain weights. I love intuitive eating in that it teaches us how to strip away impulse emotions from food and our eating and replace it with an intentional approach to feeding ourselves. But I also cant get on board with giving in to every whim and desire when it comes to food. Some times we have to be our own adult... the US has an extremely warped approach to food and I think that's where a lot of the problem lies. I personally believe that this is another result of how late stage capitalism has distorted our perceptions and desires but that's a completely different conversation... But really our bodies, body culture, and food culture are all too complex to prescribe a blanket ideology. What we need is balance, compassion and space for indulgence but also space for limitation in the name of health and feeling our best. This approach took me about 10 years to figure out btw.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Sarah Schech thank you for sharing this 🙏🏼

[@janehoe.]

Screenshot this and made it my phone background

[@mairzydoats4879]

For me 80% of the time I am focused on satiation only and what satiates me does change throughout the month. The other 20% of the time *(about 4 meals a week) I am in a social situation in which eating is an accessory to the social interaction rather than the focus. So I eat what I want from what's available and focus on the people more than the food (both in selection and enjoyment). And this has really helped me to detatch my emotions from food. It has saved me from the endless cycle of comfort eating and dieting. *edit

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Penny Opinions I’m glad you have found what works for you!

[@lauramartin4986]

Just want you to know you've made a huge difference to me & the way I approach food. I now have it in my head that to feel great after a meal to get in carbohydrates, proteins, healthy fats & micronutrients. Made a huge difference! I am so satisfied & have stopped binging!!!

[@brooklynbeyer2054]

I totally agree. I was at a higher weight (within the healthy weight range) eating an intuitive healthy diet and I was not happy with my body. I started eating healthier and exercising more to lose weight and I feel better mentally and physically now that I’ve lost weight. I think you can intentionally lose weight in a healthy and positive way

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Brooklyn Beyer I’m glad you’ve found something that feels good

[@miawook]

Damn I’ve never been this early

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Nadezhda Raskina awesome!!

[@Utu-qi3mk]

Thankyou for sharing your perspective on this issue Abbey. I am currently seeing a local dietitian, as well as I’m enrolled in an online healthy weight loss course ( I’m quite obese,& know that losing some weight would be beneficial to my health & daily quality of life.)- I have noticed that my dietician steers me towards underplaying weight,& focusing 🧘🏻‍♀️ on healthy behaviors, & discouraging me from goal 🥅 of losing. - I’m suspecting that her perspective is to protect people from extreme obsession with weight.., but as I’m obese- effort at reducing my obesity, as long as it’s not via ridiculous methods, I feel is a responsible & healthy goal 🥅 for me, & her downplaying weight seems counterintuitive?.., thankyou for your explanation of this apparent contradiction in the dietitian health professional practice.

[@AnyaReal]

Thank you for this video, Abbey. I have a question. Can intuitive eating be applied in the situation when a person suffers from chronic illness when diet is inevitable, and can’t be “enjoyable”. If so, how can it be implemented?

[@luciocastro1418]

I lost 100 pounds (really needed as I was an clinically diagnosed obese teenager) doing keto without knowing it was keto, someone prescribed me a meal plan, and I followed to the tea until I got into a healthy weight. I did however develop some dissordered eating behaviors so bad that they are the darkest moments of my life.Sadly in my country (Colombia) there are almost no centers where you can get help so I had to practically read books and get help online. I then fully embraced recovery, learned to trust my body and gave myself inconditional permision to eat. This took me years but I finally felt at peace and I could live the life I missed on before being so food focus. I now however do not eat all foods. Not because they are bad and not because I cant. I choose know to eat foods that help me stay in a healthy weight range and that are delicious and health promoting, it is a conscious choice and I make sure always to be fully aware of my body cues and I respond accordingly.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lucio Castro glad you found what works for you!

[@nowherenomad7303]

Hello Abbey! I know this is one of your older videos but I just want to say that I watch your videos everyday, and I truly appreciate your amazing work. You have really been a great source of wisdom of me about nutrition. I have been the victim of having constant food noise taking over my thoughts and my hunger cues were all messed up. However, over the past few months I am finally getting in touch with my natural hunger cues and it has added huge quality to my life. Thank you so much Abbey! You are so inspirational! P.S. Hunger Crushing Combo has become a part of my partner’s and myself’s daily vocabulary!

[@Sammyklynn1234]

I have not watched this video in completion but I have seen a lot of her other videos and there’s some thing I wanted to say. There are lots of diets for lots of medical conditions. Diabetes, heart disease, PKU, gout, to name a few. Isn’t obesity now considered a disease? If my kidneys were failing would my body know to take it easy on the salt? I just think some influencers are very black and white. There IS a place for diets in some situations. And if I have to choose between “intuitive eating” or following my doctor’s advice to avoid becoming morbidly obese again (true story, btw: 100 pound weight loss done naturally and kept of for 10 years) I will choose to follow the advice of my doctor EVEN IF Abbey Sharp declares my eating disordered. My “disordered eating” keeps me out of the hospital, off medications, and has surely extended my life so I can watch my daughter grow up. Sorry. 1 size does not fit all.

[@marguaritetherese3156]

I agree so much with making small, sustainable changes. A year ago I came to the realization that I was out of control with sweets. I was eating the donut in the break room at work, then buying a family size bag of candy the next day and eating it until it was gone (over the course of a couple days), and having something the next day and the next day and so on. I just decided an arbitrary rule: two servings of sweets a week. It's not that I couldn't have any sweet I wanted or say yes to that break room donut. I just couldn't say yes to them all. A year later, I've lost 38 lbs...over 20% of my starting weight (from bordering on an obese BMI just unto the "normal" range). Yes, that choice did snowball a bit and I've started to cook most of my meals at home and I try to make sure my diet has a lot of nutritious foods, but I don't eat any "diet" food and absolutely nothing is off limits. I don't know if I'll be this weight for the rest of my life, but I truly feel like there is no old way of eating to go back to. This is just normal now and completely satisfying. Oh, and I do try to move 60 minutes a day (walking, cleaning, gardening, etc.).

[@pamelacox540]

I love your series. I still have problems eating intuitively after years of crazy diets yadda yadda yadda. I’m also post menopausal with diagnosed osteopenia. Still going for delicious foods concentrating on protein, vitamin D and calcium and weight bearing exercise. Keep up the good work!

[@jennah9029]

This is seriously THE best video I have watched in a very long time! I have been searching high and low for someone (anyone) to share information from this perspective. I spent a couple of years learning from a IE trained registered dietician whom I loved greatly but I found her approach (as is the case with so many IE / HAES practitioners) very aggressive. I felt so shamed for wanting to lose weight. Do you coach people individually or have groups of any sort? You are the first person I've ever found to share this perspective and it has been so validating and reassuring to hear you share your thoughts. I want to embrace the principles of EI while I work towards finding my happy weight and I need the support of a professional who isn't going to be aggressive and harsh because they believe weight loss is the devil's work.

[@coreypar4102]

Would love to see you review Dr.Dray’s What I Eat In A Day

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Corey Par I’ll look

[@missspiritual]

Seriously fucking wonderful video. Thank you so much for elaborating on this topic :)

[@Mezog001]

I think remapping behavior is key and meeting people where they are at. Love people enough to work with them.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Frank Myers totally

[@meghanhulsey9207]

My feeling on why diets don’t is work is people are expecting a short-term change to have long-term results. That’s not a realistic expectation. I think that probably informs a lot of the success behind intuitive eating, as it is a sustainable lifestyle change. Diets are not sustainable and often there isn’t an expectation that it will be. You just suffer through to the end, if you can. Then you go back to how things were. (Reference to Einstein’s definition of insanity.) Excessive restriction of any kind is not sustainable. The only reason I can maintain a gluten free lifestyle (heading into my third year, 4 if you count the one I was figuring stuff out) is because for me, gluten is literal poison and my life was hell on earth with all the side effects. Otherwise? I’d eat bread every day. Unless you have health challenges like mine, there isn’t a reason to be so restrictive. It’s more about finding a healthy lifestyle that feels good. Don’t get me wrong, I face a lot of body-size/body-image pressure too. I got sick in 2020 and went up to 30 or 40 pounds above my comfort zone and the biggest size I’ve ever been. (And it also turned out I was iodine deficient so probably also had hypothyroidism.) Whereas, one of my sisters is in phenomenal shape and of course my entire family is commenting on my new size except my mom. My dad even went as far as to blame all the side effects of developing adult-onset asthma on my new weight. I was listening to this audiobook where the woman was talking how her definition of healthy was being “surprisingly strong.” I’m working on shifting my own goals to align with that, but it’s not easy. Not with all the tiny girls in my favorite tv shows and my own family working against me. But I think it’s an achievable goal: being so strong that nothing you want to do is out of reach. (I realize this is not always possible for some people with physical disabilities.) But think about it. Who woke up today and said, “Being able to do 100 pushups would make my life better.” Okay, even if you said that, check the roots of that desire. Do you wish you could climb the equipment at the playground so you could play with your kids/nieces/nephews/etc.? Do you wish you could run after them and not get winded or exhausted? Maybe you wish taking the 3 floors up to your apartment was easy so you didn’t feel so trapped inside your house. I’ve previously lost weight before through exercise. (A comment on longterm results: I only gained weight when I was physically incapable of continuing to exercise regularly due to some health challenges. If I’d been able to keep going, the results would still be here. Also, if I’m honest, I didn’t have consistent access to a scale, so my primary progress marker was in the mirror and I was loving the transformation.) I’ve discovered that you get a pretty sexy tone lines running along your legs after walking consistently for six months. Muscle physically takes up less space than fat and it also pulls you in. So whether or not the scale moves, you can see some great results in the mirror with consistent effort. But keep in mind that it takes 18 months for your body to make a significant change, so that’s part of why it has to be a lifestyle thing. The other important thing with exercise is you’re WAY more likely to do it if it’s EASY and FUN. By easy, I don’t mean you don’t break a sweat, I mean there are very few barriers to you actually doing it. (For example, it’s a lot easier to convince yourself to attend a dance class that is down the street than all the way across town.) And of course, it should be fun! I love walking and I love talking to people so for me, a great exercise option is a walking group (which I do twice a week). Even though, we’re at the same park every week, I never get bored because I honestly barely notice what’s going on around me as I’m so wrapped up in a pleasant conversation. What do you think is fun that will get you moving? (Also, you can totally change things up. Last night, for example, I held different positions, working different muscle groups for 1 minute at a time while reading a book I enjoy. That was less fun than walking so maybe I’ll look for an online dance class.) Again, I’m honestly still really working on this, but I think it’s a lot more important to feel good in your body, appreciating all the things you are privileged to do with it, and be fit enough so you have a lot of freedom than it is to conform to someone else’s idea of how you should look, when it’s physically, biologically impossible for some people. You are amazing.

[@lisilein2]

But if I was fat as a 16 year old (specifically a BMI of 25...)? I'm really, really afraid intuitive eating will make me go back to that. And I sure as hell wasn't happy back then even if I ate whatever I felt like. And what if my genetics are crap? My entire family on my mother's side is significantly overweight (to a point where it is proven NOT healthy)... so if my grandparents obviously couldn't eat intuitively how am I supposed to be able to do that? Sure, I'll had binge days but compared to what I eat when I'm intuitively eating I am bound to gain a significant and, for me at least, unhealthy amount of weight (my skin, sleep and body suffers from this as well). What about the long term consequence of sagging skin and things like that? Even if my weight evens out at some point it will be years until then .... I feel like this concept is missing something. I feel like you're basically telling people. Just learn how to eat, but if I knew how to do that, then why did I already struggle with it when I was a kid and am still struggeling with it now?

[@cherryblossom801]

I've always struggled with my weight. Right now I'm 170 lbs but want to get down to 130... What do you reccomend? I eat normal food. I don't cut back on anything except alot of sugar or carbs. In other words I don't eat alot of burgers, pizza or high fat foods.

[@jourdanhamme3426]

Thank you for this video, this everything I needed to hear and more. I feel that is your have an unhealthy relationship with food then you may need to have controlled rules (under the guidance of a professional) to re-learn/ re-get to know your body again. Then, your body, mind, and emotions are in sync again so you know you can trust yourself--all parts of yourself again :)

[@AshleyUpdike]

What are you opinions on modern weight loss surgeries like the sleeve? I recently did the sleeve surgery as a final option. I really like Intuitive Eating model. But find often anti-diet/HAES groups are very judgemental. Speaking for myself, my goal is to improve my PCOS and other health issues, not necessary weightloss.

[@msbekahbear]

I love this! I really respect you and your ability to admit and accept the “gray” areas. It seems like it’s the most rational train of thought.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Gracie K. Thank you 🙏🏼❤️

[@elissa3188]

I know this is an old video- but I am trying to embrace intuitive eating on and off for about a year- but struggling with the fact that I need to lose pounds. My feet and ankles are the biggest reasons the pounds need off, and my back. I also now think I have type 2 diabetes. I am just at such a loss...how do I do this at the kind of pace my body needs to feel good, while still avoiding triggering a binge - ahhh. Flipping 39 and I'm still a mess.

[@leslienelis301]

I don’t agree with taking away “what serves us” and what doesn’t in reference to the Bible. Just so you know the whole Bible serves us, it’s the word of God. Otherwise, what is the point of it? I get what you mean though in reference to the intuitive eating book. You make a lot of great points. I like following Kim Dolan Leto. She incorporates and addresses the spiritual aspects of our being and as it relates to food which nobody anywhere else does. She also denounces diet culture.

[@Awall79]

It disturbs me that there are dietitians who would turn people away because they want to lose weight. I can understand if someone with an eating disorder comes to you and you turn them away but if someone wants to lose weight with no disorders you should always help them. I'm a great example. I'm not considered obese...I'm slightly overweight but due to my mild CP my doctor has recommended I stay at the lower end of my weight bracket for my joints and agility. So I don't "look unhealthy" but I am. And when I get to my goal many people are going to think I can afford to gain some weight back but for my quality of life I shouldn't. HAES dietitians have a right to do what they want but I personally think people shouldn't be turned away JUST because they want to lose weight.