Still Ranking Every Baldurs Gate Companion But Now I'm Halsin

[@nerdherder9340]

We need a “how quickly do the companions realize astarion is a vampire” tier list, because tbh i dont think minsc ever figures it out on his own

[@spoopybat7880]

I posit: 9 Minsc (never finds out unless explicitly told) 8 Karlach 7 Lae'zel (pretends she knew it all along) 6 Shadowheart 5 Minthara 4 Gale 3 Halsin (i feel like the bear nose would be able to tell) 2 Jaheira (took one look at the man and pieced it together, since everyone else determined him safe she was fine with it) 1 Wyll (would probably know almost immediately)

[@nerdherder9340]

@@spoopybat7880 i agree with the ranking but i think laezel is at 7 because she doesnt even know what a vampire is, like she ranks higher than like, minsc who doesnt even know anything is off with asterion, but not because of her knowing he is a vamp. She just like…..something is wrong with this elf

[@MissySodapop]

no, no, minsc knows right away because Boo tells him

[@spoopybat7880]

@@MissySodapop but it would be funnier if boo just assumes minsc knows because the vampirism is so noticeable that 'there's no way anyone could miss it'. Obviously the miniature giant space hamster doesn't need to warn Minsc

[@emsitdown9141]

Minsc actually has a little dialogue when you ask him about Astarion, where based off of his reaction to Minsc's blood he thinks Astarion is... a coward. But yeah of course it's boo who informs him of the truth.

[@daynechrisco9070]

If Scratch dies and you throw his ball as Astarion he basically has an emotional breakdown so I honestly think he’d love to take Scratch.

[@GeekMasterGames]

I wouldn't know... I refuse to let Scratch come to harm

[@sweetyft]

Scratch can die ? 😫

[@MinnowTF]

Minthara says something like “Why do people assume I killed the dog? I liked the dog.”

[@ettaetta439]

​@@MinnowTFwait how do you get this dialogue? What happens to scratch?

[@MinnowTF]

@@ettaetta439 I think you have to purposefully kill Scratch

[@thejettiestcat]

I fully believe Halsin would play GTA like a normal driver

[@claran3616]

Wyll too

[@cabbagyboi9129]

Halsin is the one who has to look down at the controller at least five times to remember where the shoulder buttons are.

[@benwilliams3698]

@@cabbagyboi9129Well dam, didn't expect to get called out for that in this comment section

[@nathanpfirman625]

And would literally let himself get arrested if he committed a crime.

[@George_Washington_1776]

@@claran3616 Wyll would drive on the sidewalk while avoiding hitting anyone and think he's being extremely devious doing it

[@faithmoir1637]

astarion being tall for an elf but still 3rd from the bottom is SOOO funny to me because you know he’s so mad about it

[@sabsain2399]

I think he couldn't care less about that kind of stuff

[@emmamccartan9277]

Please consider: Gale would win the hell out of Chopped. Wyll makes a comment when he finishes his questline and makes a particular choice that he hopes to wrestle cooking duties away from Gale for one night - which means that Gale has been making meals for the camp our entire journey, sometimes out of like, some fish heads, two apples, and a salami? We've been getting fully healed every time too if we provide enough random ingredients in our pack so they must be at least somewhat successful. I think if given a basket full of ingredients and told to make a cohesive dish out of it, he would thrive

[@ashec.6824]

If you have a full party by the time you pull him from the rock, his post recruitment dialogue is him talking about how he'll head back and get a slow roast going for everyone to share once they get back to camp. My guy declared himself camp chef before he even saw the camp

[@FaolanHart]

He adds a magic touch to each meal.

[@Druidic_Brujo]

The sentence “Lae’zel is a gym teacher” actually made me drop my phone, it was so out of pocket funny

[@bellaliandrino7735]

HALSIN AND MINTHARA SHARING A GREEN HOUSE IS MY NEW OBSSESION

[@barbecuedsimsbaby]

His side is overgrown with loads of colourful plants and fruits and her side is all these black, dark toxic plants.

[@artbunny9199]

I love how halsin's curse is just having to eternally deal with minthara and minthara's curse is eternally having to deal with halsin

[@kropotkinnie]

"his inability to be conscious at the end of combat" took me the fuck out (like gale halfway through literally any combat)

[@xxgirl101xx]

At one point Minthara says it’s not worth getting to know Gale because wizards have the lifespan of a gnome in a war. Either their hubris gets them killed by going too far with magic, or enemies try to kill them first. And like, that’s mean but looking at Gale… the situation with the orb, his inability to make it through combat without being knocked out… she’s not wrong. Though if you’re playing as a wizard she specifies you’re fine tho.

[@zareklordofthefries7858]

One of my favorite parts about Lae'zel as a character is that she already genuinely believes that she's the main character and the leader of the group. If Tav is there I think she knows that Tav is the one keeping the group together, but like, she thinks of it as Tav being the heart of the group while she's the real driving force. To the point where if you go too long without going to the Creche she says you're wasting her time and will leave if you don't convince her not to.

[@rjai5003]

When you interrogate the tiefling in the grove about where to find the other githyanki, and you stop her from doing it her way, she even gets mad at you for it and straight up calls you her subordinate

[@KimSokolArt]

Yesss Wyllstarion supremacy, I love the idea of two people who’ve - in their own ways for their own reasons - had to create personas to survive, and who grow to like each other in spite of those personas instead of because of them.

[@blinkfilms1]

Definitely gonna go Wyll origin and romance astarion my next playthrough

[@mel-burnes]

@@blinkfilms1 i think it's more fun in reverse (because non-origin wyll can refuse sex without hurting the romance progression) but yessss absolutely

[@blinkfilms1]

@@mel-burnes you're so smart

[@ettaetta439]

​@@mel-burnesThat's why I played Astarion origin. Anything to not have to deal with yet another sex scene. I'm ace and I'll happily wait till marriage for Wyll.

[@mel-burnes]

@@ettaetta439 yesssss same hat

[@shaelin-]

Haley dropping huge life changes casually in her videos like it’s nothing. “I’m getting married tomorrow” “I’m moving across the country in 2 days” “I started teaching kindergarten” 💀 much love from a high school teacher ❤️

[@merchantarthurn]

Wyll and Astarion canonically are constantly just telling the player character how hot they think each other are so 100% correct on his no1 rank lmaoo. In addition to Astarion's line you show here he's also wistfully comments on how "everything looks good on him" when talking about his new horns (him being super unbothered by the new look + being able to relate to a violent and painful change of physicality is so... mwa, also), picks him as the person in camp he'd most like to drink blood from, keeps making comments about how sweet his blood would taste (and in his origin run his unique 'secret' he can tell halsin is that he's got a sweet tooth). Wyll is just fucking obsessed with Astarion's hair and how nice he is, calls him charming in multiple dialogues and banters with him constantly. If you've not had them together in a party in a while and then pull them in they're so fucking chatty with each other. After killing Ansur they can start planning a... date??? Firmly believe if you're not romancing either of them then Astarion's getting courted just off-screen by Mr Blade. Karlach is a fantastic third, also, especially since she's like the only one that Astarion is just Nice about lol

[@Emma-se5wm]

wyll is totally the swashbuckling prince charming monster slayer that astarion would fantasize about coming to save him while he'd be broken on the floor of cazador's kennels. bonus for astarion that wyll is happy to wait for marriage or a strong emotional commitment.

[@lackslyricism]

storybrooke astarion is in a customer service/sales position of some kind where he has to constantly be Nice to people and make them feel Important, i feel like that's like, thematically relevant without being too big of a Bummer

[@VesperOfRoses]

Astarion being the sassiest barista at Starbucks is canon now

[@Geini0]

I imagine him working in a sweat shop that cazador runs

[@sabsain2399]

​@@Geini0 bruh

[@charlesmccallie7402]

Haley: "I am a BloodWeave truther..." My wife, watching with me: "I HAD A FEELING ABOUT YOU!"

[@kamisamaks]

I just took emotional damage with the idea of a Astarion/Karlach ship. Yes, put the immortal vampire in a very emotional relationship with a FAR LESS immortal future pile of ashes.

[@woufwoof]

If you romance Astarion as Karlach origin it can get exactly as tragic as you’d expect. He starts crying if she decides to die in the end :)

[@claran3616]

@@woufwoof WHAT. He does? Since when?! thats horrible omg

[@woufwoof]

@@claran3616 It’s always been in the game just not many people have seen it, you can find videos of it on KZbin pretty easily. It’s heartbreaking

[@lekarabbit5181]

Evil gale and asterion romance leads to the creation of the most canonically powerful a single character can become.

[@naccount5584]

Okay, okay, okay. Hear me out. Wyllyam “I broke dance records” Ravenguard would absolutely win Dancing with the stars. Instead, Minthara would DOMINATE BigBrother.

[@barbecuedsimsbaby]

Astarion on drag race

[@tamaralocksmith4988]

The moment you mentioned Lae’zel in the Scratch ranking, I immediately pictured him with a little oxygen tank and bubble helmet, sitting precariously behind her on her dragon😅

[@The1LGirl]

Wyll definitely won the bachelor

[@DriftingLightOfTheWoods]

I agree so much with "Astarion can be 5'9 if everyone else is taller" to the point where I like to believe the tav I romanced him with is constantly teasing him like "I'm short for a tiefling, actually." (she has the femme tall body build of the vanilla game and is at minimum 6'1. She's *lying* 😂)

[@friskybitzboi]

“Inability to be conscious at the end of a fight” REAL

[@Rocker4JCforever]

Bah, you're just not picking the right subclass! Lol. Make him an Abjuration wizard and after about level 3 HE IS IMMORTAL. Seriously, the Arcane Ward ability is busted in BG3.

[@friskybitzboi]

@@Rocker4JCforever He’s there to do big damage, evo ONLY

[@Rocker4JCforever]

@@friskybitzboi Abjuration still does big damage tho. If you really want to be able to nuke an AoE with allies in it, just give him a few levels of Sorcerer, too, for Careful Spell.

[@blaize2638]

While I dig the Halsin cosplay, you would absolutely slay an Isobel cosplay

[@haleywhipjack]

I've done an Isobel! She was super fun, her makeup is so obnoxious for no reason.

[@spapples69]

I was one of those Isobel voters your cosplay is SO GOOD?! Fingers crossed the brain rot continues so you can do more videos in BG3 cosplay

[@tabaquaberry]

bearing the weight of being the sole halfling representation of the party feels incredible. "get behind me, everyone!" she says, standing with her friends in a cutscene where the camera cuts everyone else off at the chest. also dating halsin makes it Extra extra funny :)

[@VesperOfRoses]

dating Halsin as a halfling is SO funny

[@lois9271]

I was cackling at ‘tiny angry babey’ until my 5 foot nothing ass got called out specifically. I am the tiny angry babey now.

[@jonathanhibberd9983]

I mean, in the OUAT situation, Mizora is Wyll's mom. Maybe stepmom, but she's married to his dad, and they absolutely hate each other. She's the reason Sargent Ravenguard sent him off to military school. And now that he's graduated, he works for Halsin and Minthara growing their... special plants (which he samples liberally).

[@jaredragland4707]

Gale the tragically arrested adjunct professor of astrophysics would be the most devoted patron of the "special" arboretum, not because of his crippling depression, but because he started a botany degree once and dreams of opening a little apothecary shop in upstate Massachusetts

[@alyssaolson7964]

I've never been so certain of my own demise as I am while contemplating the idea of getting trapped on a desert island with Astarion, like it's not even a question. We would both refuse (and/or fail) to do literally anything useful, fight the entire time, and then perish at the earliest possible juncture because neither one of us knew better than to drink salt water. There wouldn't be a single thing on that entire island that couldn't just kill both of us

[@friskybitzboi]

Mario Kart characters go as follows: Astarion: Rosalina Gale: Luigi Halsin: Yoshi Jaheira: Bowser Karlach: Toad Lae’zel: Mario Minsc: Wario Minthara: Waluigi Shadowheart: Peach (fighting with Astarion for Rosalina) Wyll: Daisy

[@Anonymous_Individual]

Lae’zel: Mario (because it’s the first one there)

[@ArtemisMoon12]

For “most likely to lead the group in the event there is no origin/tav/Durge” I do think Larian said it best themselves with Gale as leader. He’s the one who can most easily slide along the scale of morality, he is also the most … not charismatic, but diplomatic. Wyll is a good-good run but he also needs to be talked out of hurting Karlach bc he’s beholden to Mizora’s whims. Gale can choose to ignore Mystra or go along with it. Also as the most opinionated amongst a group of ultimately self interested people (personal quests are important) he has an unending need to quiz/question so it makes people feel wanted, even if they feel annoyed. Like, how he’s intrigued about Gith culture or can connect to Shadowheart about overbearing goddesses and how for some reason Minthara roasts him but also ends up down to fuck people up for him. Like, a Drow of the First House goes to bat for him in non-origin. Like?????????? He’s a human male wizard. My point is that he’s got opportunities to make common ground with everyone & also frankly would want to be in charge. After level 5 as well most parties end up being the wizards entourage anyways in TTRPGs. Which is to say…. I respect your ranking but I have my own. This comment feeds the algorithm. Yeeee.

[@torumakalig5692]

Forget everything else. Just continue to make increasingly abstract rankings about BG3 characters until the sun dies out. I live for it. ❤

[@imaginaryguide1895]

Gale's cursona is an adjunct instructor at the community college next to the university he graduated from. He was the student of his department chair, dated her, then she broke up with him when his lab work went wrong and he failed to get tenure.

[@katyak5664]

Astarion "falling off the rainbow road" sounds like a euphemistic way of saying he ended up in a het romance.

[@gwenpool6748]

Oh my gosh, I actually laughed out loud reading this. I love this idea.

[@SlendysWatchingMe]

To back up your Minthara on Dancing with the Stars opinion, one of my favourite tidbits of lore is that she attends nedeirras, Menzoberranzyr dances with a competitive acrobatic style of dance. She's SO READY for DwtS LET HER DANCE

[@zey6123]

i’ve never played baldur’s gate despite being very baldur’s-gate-adjacent as a person, but now i’m imagining wyll doing lindy hop and it makes me very happy

[@zey6123]

(he doesn’t do west coast swing cause the big lifts aren’t allowed)

[@lolaf1er]

Minsc's curse situation being turned into a statue is so funny because you know that that's supposed to be extremely traumatic but he'd bounce back from it like it didn't happen the moment the curse is broken. It's not even the first time he's woken up from being a statue. It's just another Tuesday for him.

[@JacquesZeWhipper]

I am so here for another one of these. Please make 10,000 more

[@owentaylor7549]

remembering you only had minthara left .001 seconds before you declare minthara best at mario kart sent me rolling

[@ZereTheTank]

Mizora and Raphael are absolutely rival loan sharks who front as eccentric philanthropists.

[@artificialdevil-sm]

When you mentioned the idea of Karlach romancing Astarion, I knew I had to add this: I have done that as Karlach origin. And telling him that you kinda just CAN'T have any physical contact but you still like him and want to spend time with him makes him perplexed in a way that is so sad. Like, he genuinely cannot see why someone would want to be with him for a reason other than sex. Yeah, romancing characters as Origin characters really does lead to interesting stuff you wouldn't otherwise see.

[@lilliankurzhal1627]

Oh boy I feel like Gale and Wyll would do really well on Amazing Race together

[@ceridwenaeradwr8105]

I hadn't realised how much I wanted a Once-Upon-A-Time style BG3 curse

[@liamross340]

someone write the storybrooke au fanfic pleaseeee

[@sphinxyb]

You know what? You're right. Minthara is absolutely SO good at Mario Kart this is cannon now

[@roriksavant]

This was my first thought too!

[@fraserking4747]

I support the affectionate bullying of Starman at any and every opportunity. Not just because it’s deserved but because his reactions would be priceless every single time. He would also absolutely romance himself if given the opportunity. There are definitely fanfics out there with this exact premise, I know it in my heart. Also, kobold and goblin playable characters WHEN, Larian??? I just wanna be a Silly Little Guy™!

[@Strix182]

Shadowheart is absolutely the person I want to be stranded on a deserted island with, and I'm not saying that just because I am madly in love with her, nor because I am thrilled by the idea of building sand castles. She doesn't have it in Vanilla BG3, but in D&D 5e and with the 5e Spells mod, she gets *Create Food and Water.* That's a 3rd level spell, so she has that at Level 5. Shar IS gonna help us, whether she likes it or not. Not only that, but Shadowheart is usually the first person you recruit after the nauteloid crash, and she's all business. She doesn't bemoan her fate, she doesn't freeze up, she immediately makes a plan of action. Find food and water, locate a safe place to camp, find a healer. Girl has a plan and we are gonna survive! Aaaand maybe have a panic attack during the night, but hey, that's what the ithibank is for. Edit: also pretty lady on a farm with her matching dog very yes 🥹

[@nina9565]

Astarion should be pretty close to Minsc when it comes to leadership, canonicaly smooth brained that one.

[@nealenthenerd399]

I like the idea of everyone living their Curseonas, but Mizora is the inciting incident as she shows up needing Wyll to do something, sees he is stuck in the curse situation, and snaps him back to normal. Now Wyll has to try and help the others with him being freed.

[@Theology.101]

Love Haley UNAPOLOGETICALLY having her party ships. And they’re all so real. Bloodweave ( 24:03 ) and Shadow’zel (her TikTok) are CANON to me Of course I’m also a Wyllthara Truther so maybe my brain is broken

[@rimjobsteve3264]

Galethara

[@Theology.101]

@@rimjobsteve3264 Honestly i fuck with it but Wyll is underloved in fandom. Plus I like the idea of Noble, Idealistic and Chivalrous Wyll saved Minthara because OF COURSE you save people! She swears her life to him and then realizes that he’s the most self sacrificing motherfucker she’s ever met and now she has to be the voice of ‘reason.’ Meanwhile Wyll is flabbergasted that this horrible woman seems so attached to him, and he’s attached to her Also I think her political schemes in Baldur’s Gate while her Husband is just trying to do his job would be HILLARIOUS

[@AceCookie]

Shadowheart at the top of the "adopt Scratch" list is ABSOLUTELY correct. That woman loves animals so much. It might be harder to swing it in her dark ending, but i believe she'd find a way to make it work. The ending where she goes off adventuring she would be delighted to have Scratch along and they would have a great time together. And the ending where she settles down in a little homestead with her parents? No brainer. She canonically ALREADY has a small army of pets in that ending, and is only too happy to keep adding to it

[@dumpsterhag]

I think Lae'zel wins the battle to play Peach but she doesn't actually want to that much, she just sees that everyone else does and she's sure as heck not gonna let Astarion or Shadowheart have Peach

[@MHortonWho]

Shadowheart and laezel always placing lower than they should in Mario Cart, not because they’re bad, but because they keep pushing each other off the road 😂

[@meeyachan8303]

Karlach on Forged in Fire? Karlach working on motorcycles? You’re killing me. I’m dying.

[@nealenthenerd399]

Fun fact: Gale has the cure to vampirism. It’s that scroll he has in that pouch

[@OakandIV]

I adore this. Well done. And Astarion is not joking when he tells Shadowheart he’d rather bite Wyll. He wants you to think he’s teasing, but he isn’t.

[@elliottedwards1163]

I will say I’ve seen the dialogue Astarion has for when scratch dies. Man sobs. Honestly sobs.

[@JBSouls]

I totally ship our pale vampire boy with Gale, Wyll, and Halsin (not necessarily at the same time but I can see him with any of them)… And while I don’t necessarily ship him with Karlach I can definitely see why many people do - they’re cute together and the lack of sex early on must be so much like a breath of fresh air for someone with his backstory / trauma. To me Karlach and him are more like siblings while him and Shadowheart are catty besties 100%.

[@SayaCeline]

Astarion's got that dex though...it would take him A WHILE to get the concept, but I think once he gets it down his natural dexterity would move him up the list. Minsc will still keep that luck so they'll both surpass Gale. Also Halsin is playing animal crossing with the same intensity that SH and Lae'zel play mario kart.

[@aaronjafri9004]

Halsin would devote his entire being to building the perfect island or town or whatever while also being very self conscious about his leadership style. My heart, they are little cartoon animals, you do not need to worry about the politics of how you got in this position

[@SayaCeline]

@@aaronjafri9004 He would be so sad if a villager contemplates moving. Like he'd be supportive and encourage them to follow their dream but he'd definitely be sad about it and need a hug from Tav.

[@Theology.101]

33:16 See I like this option because Minthara is cannonically a pet person. Granted, those pets are Mimics and Displacer Beasts, but I think her trained ones could get along with Scratch!

[@xxgirl101xx]

Personally I feel Minthara might not want to bring Scratch with her? Not because she doesn’t like him but because all her previous pets were capable of defending themselves. Killing pets (other than spiders) as a message doesn’t seem that out there for the culture she grew up in. In general Minthara is very cautious about caring for people or creatures she doesn’t believe are strong enough to survive and while she certainly cares for Scratch, she wouldn’t bring him somewhere where his life would be at risk or could be used against her. Maybe if she stays on the surface if you romance her, but she’s ambitious even then, and if she returns to the Underdark it’s to wage war so… not a good place for a dog.

[@Theology.101]

@@xxgirl101xxyou’re so real for that, but i refuse to consider someone trying to harm scratch so you’re wrong :)

[@xxgirl101xx]

@@Theology.101 fair enough, the good boy has immunity

[@gemstone71552]

The SECOND you began talking about Cursonas I immediately went "Shadowheart's a nun" and I am glad to be right

[@alexanderprevost8236]

Ok but the real question is which companion would win RuPaul’s Drag Race and why would it be Minthara?

[@TheEmerald97]

I don't know, feel like Astarion or Gale have more flair. Plus Shadowheart having a hair change mid runway would appeal to the judges.

[@HekatieSquires]

Minthara would win an earlier season, astarion is your violet chachki type winner, wyll is a contemporary winner and Karlach wins all stars (and miss congeniality on her original season of course)

[@alexanderprevost8236]

@@HekatieSquires Karlach wins All Stars but we all know Gale would have the ultimate early out to All Stars runner-up to Vs. The World winner storyline

[@shortinsomniac76]

Idk about that but i know Minsc would be so fun to watch, gets eliminated early then makes a podcast

[@KeitieKalopsia]

NOOOO the OUAT Minthalsin greenhouse plot twist was such a banger! Shit, now I want a Minthalsin enemies to lovers romcom for _this specific au._ Omg I think I had Lae’zel as my gym teacher. Shoutout Mrs. Wagner from my elementary! She was amazing but we were all terrified of her. She was also quite petite.

[@francesmcginn5850]

The fact I know exactly which Tailor Astarion artwork your talking about should probably worry me. Because this current obsession is going deep.

[@irinakermong1217]

If Gale was stuck on a desert island he'd see it as a great opportunity to unleash the nuke, so I'd put him at number 10 tbh

[@FosterF.]

I adore the cursona segment omgs You didn’t include names but I wanna come up with their cursona names. Snow being MM is because of the time she lied about being named “Margaret… I-I mean Mary” and Regina didn’t know about that, so the names just vaguely relate to their past. David is a similar case Lae’zel: Kathrine. Kith’rak, something she’s always wanted to be but isn’t allowed to obtain Minsc: Nameless statue. He was never actually cursed, similar to the mad hatter, he is perpetually conscious and witnessing Everything, and has all of his memories (but is also minsc and therefore has very little memory). Astarion: Caz. Everything he’s never wanted to be and everything he’s doomed to become if someone doesn’t interfere. I think Cazador/Laslo (glorious rule/ruler, referencing his hold over Astarion even in this world) would be his step dad or something. Cinderella story type beat. Shadowheart: Jenevelle. It’s a David/James situation where their cursona name is just their not-fake name from fantasy land Halsin: Oakley. Nuff said Mithara: Ivy. Nuff said Wyll: Nick/Nicholas/Nyck/Nycholas. Means glory of the people/victory, and that was what he wanted to achieve w his original pact w Mizora, but he doesn’t have any of that power here and has no way of protecting/helping his people until Gold or Raphael brings back magic to Storybrooke. (I also think Mizora would be very Cora coded.) Jaheira: Angelina. Ironically referencing the fact that she is a poor mother by comparing her directly to an angel Gale: Dale. I think it’s an ego thing. When the curse eventually DOES break, he’ll feel insulted that he wasn’t given something more creative, and that’s part of the torture. Edit: OH MY GODS I FORGOT KARLACH 😭 Karlach: Raven, symbolizing her own impending doom. Once magic is brought back to Storybrooke, she’s a ticking timebomb again. Ravens are also seen as messengers of the underworld, so perhaps it could symbolize her being able to visit the overworld from time to time. Befriending a raven, while sometimes difficult, can also be very rewarding as they are very social creatures who form tight bonds. She joins Henry when he’s trying to destroy all magic, I think.

[@claran3616]

Deciding Astarion gets called Caz is NASTY. Literally vomit inducing. That’s the most compelling thing I’ve seen in this comment section.

[@wardenmages]

Oh now I need to write out a whole OUAT au fanfic, for Wyll & Mizora it could be something like Graham & Regina, but like Wyll works for animal control with Mizora as his supervisor, occasionally being asked to do unethical jobs until she orders him to confiscate Karlach's dog and fabricate a report and he refuses, gets fired, then starts working with Karlach instead 👀 I'm obsessed with these lists, I would only rank Astarion higher for the who-gets-Scratch list because I think he needs a service dog and he really does love Scratch so much it makes me distressed, and also Scratch could go run errands for spawn-Astarion during the day with a little scroll attached to his collar to tell people what he's there for

[@hannahchatterley5329]

OK OK OK but consider!!!! Wyll and Asatrion both have the inherent tragedy of being turned into specifically Monsters against their will. They both have extremely abusive people who controlled/currently control their lives! So both the duality of monster and monster hunter, but also they can understand eachother on a level deeper than most can (Karlach and Gale also get major points here I will say). Also Wyll/Astarion's ship name is Bloodpact and that is beautiful and perfect. I am a bloodpact truther. xD

[@claran3616]

You might’ve just made ME a bloodpact truther tbh

[@RestinPowerHind]

For the desert island, I must remind that "Create Water" is a spell that is fairly common for casters

[@LadyKittybug]

As a forest gnome ranger (cause no firbolg) not only does the lack of the smallfolk bother me, where is at least ONELINE of dialog addressing Astarion's constant derision of gnomes!! Don't get me wrong I got that man on his knees just to kiss my hot shrimpy behind, but I would have liked at least a "hey gnome standing right here" and a "well you're the exception" or something.

[@hannahchatterley5329]

YES! I also romanced him as a gnome and I was so sad they didn't use his hatred of gnomes at all. xD

[@rimjobsteve3264]

Nah astarion is right about gnomes they’re just charmless halflings

[@LadyKittybug]

@@hannahchatterley5329 There is actually a small line from him, I was playing as Durge Tav and it was an early long rest after talking to/freeing Sazza. Everyone is reflecting on meeting Priestess Gut, and he says “I’m not normally impressed by someone of your stature, but you’re stronger than I have your credit for.” Still it’s kinda lame that it’s a line that you’ll only get if you do something very specific AND do the long rest at the right time.

[@AeridisArt]

Astarion: "Who cares about a bunch of deep gnomes?" Me, deep gnome assassin: "Yes... I wonder who..."

[@nerdherder9340]

Wyll plays mario cart like he is driving to a 9-5, just so responsibly and so slow.

[@Suchega_Uber]

Was not expecting Noel Fielding enjoying Minsc discourse this morning, but I agree. Minsc would absolutely be invited to guest spot on The Mighty Boosh. He wouldn't even be given a script, he would vibe along and still fit in.

[@mse90]

Also, for the people who might not be aware, if you've got the owlbear in your ending, Shadowheart will ABOLUTELY take them. Adding Scratch into that mix is a no-brainer. She truly is a goth disney princess collecting animal companions like they're pokemon.

[@keirstengrant4132]

@9:20 appearntly Larian Stuidos knew what they were doing when the didn't make any small race compions because statically the majority of Baldur's Gates fan base in indiffernt to all the smaller races.

[@milapiepers502]

i need to keep defending minthara on the internet EDIT after finishing the video: minthara no longer needs to be defended on the internet thank you for your service

[@SquartGlobzo]

Your first two on “who should keep scratch” are so correct and appropriate. Those are literally the two that can adopt the owlbear at the reunion camp if you ask them to, and Shadowheart is so excited and tells you that she meant to check in on the owlbear in the aftermath of the final battle.

[@ultradude15]

On the Mario Kart one, I agree with everything you said about Karlach growing up with Mario Kart, and being incredibly good at it. The only problem is... she melts the controller now. She cannot play Mario Kart anymore.

[@GoldenSpiderMonkey2480]

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME CRY IN THIS WAY 😭😭

[@tylerlane2579]

This is the first game where party comp and romantic interest are both major considerations for me and it's amazing.

[@TheProblem2025]

I know a guy who won a bunch of games of Jeopardy and got a flashy car with Winner plates and I want that for Gale. Take some validation from taking the risk on those daily doubles, king.

[@nealenthenerd399]

10:10 best part is that Drow are one of the shortest Elves on average in the Player’s Handbook

[@Arikata]

The fact we don't have nearly enough wyll/astarion fanfic hurts my soul

[@TheProblem2025]

Working on it 🫡

[@Arikata]

@@TheProblem2025doing the lords work and be sure to drop that AO3 link

[@OakandIV]

Also completely here for tiny angry Laezel. She knows 50 ways to make your life better and 100 ways to end you, she’s hyper competitive, and yet she never gets the respect she thinks she’s due. And she is pissed about it. She’s also, for almost the same reasons, a great bestie or partner. She’s fierce and she works at it.

[@benjaminbaygul-stevens4262]

I know I'm literally 6 months late but I'd never seen your channel before and only just watched part 1 I did NOT realise how much the fangs were affecting your speech in the last one lol

[@SuperGakman]

“Are you smarter than a fifth grader” was supposed to have average people as contestants. Gale wouldn’t be chosen as one. Gale needs to be on jeopardy.

[@rebelmage6929]

When I think of a random ranking idea, for some reason my first idea is "quickest to pay off all the loans in Animal Crossing" and I don't know what that says about me.

[@katyak5664]

10:00 Laezel has watched this video and is coming for you.

[@tetrabrush]

Gale is 100% winning the Great British Bake Off

[@Rocker4JCforever]

As soon as you started the list for Most Likely to Keep Scratch I blurted out "Shadowheart!" lol In my first playthrough we retired to the countryside with her parents and a ton of animals. And during the Epilogue I was able to convince the Grown Owlbear cub to come live with us. When I went over to break the news to Shadowheart she ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.

[@trashfire_nia]

I know it's sad, but I have a guess on what Astarion's other cursona could be-a model. He'd live a deceptively high-fashion socialite lifestyle, aloof and snobbish in the press, but he'd be very unhappy and unhealthy. It'd be emotionally and physically toxic for him; he'd be underpaid and be under the controlling, suffocating thumb of his manager (who is of course Cazador). All he really wants to do is actually make the clothes rather than be the object paraded around in them.

[@Savenysis]

You’re so right about this. Locksmith did not feel correct to me, but tailor didn’t feel “cursed and unhappy” enough. Model though, that’s the ticket. My poor, beautiful, very fictional vampire man 😩

[@Savenysis]

You’re so right about this. Locksmith did not feel correct to me, but tailor didn’t feel “cursed and unhappy” enough. Model though, that’s the ticket. My poor, beautiful, very fictional vampire man 😩

[@Only_here_4_funny]

My attempt at assigning the companions Mario Kart (specifically MK Wii, because I know enough about it) mains, because why not: Wyll: actually gets Peach Karlach: Dry Bones Astarion: Daisy (because he’s mad about not having Peach) Gale: Waluigi Shadowheart: Yoshi Lae’zel: Bowser Halsin: Funky Kong (doesn’t know he’s broken) Minsc: Mario (because he literally knows nothing about the game) Minthara: Funky Kong (knows he’s broken)

[@haleywhipjack]

astarion pouting as princess daisy is actually so inspired thank you

[@withercat]

heavily underestimating shadowheart on a deserted island, even at level one she has access to create/destroy water and if you can get her up to level six before you get trapped or by i dunno fighting crabs on the island thats free hero's feast! youre never getting off the island though but you do survive

[@TheProblem2025]

Ok ABSOLUTELY Wyllstarion is my current play through and I want 100000000 YA tier true love for the Monster (going both ways) for them immediately “ And the bloodweave! They both deserve to live in a world where people say: “The Wizard Gale? That guy who cured vampirism?” maybe with the “um actually he only cured vampire spawn” caveat.

[@talvituhkat5099]

Yay! Happy to see Bloodweave ranked so high! Those two idiots are perfect for each other, I'll stand my ground on this.

[@t-vo6443]

I subscribed a while back just because i liked the chaotic deep dives but after seeing the BG3 companions in OUAT board? I'm clicking that bell, this is my place

[@sadierich7128]

I didn’t know anything about baldurs gate in your first ranking and it’s safe to say that I am now fully obsessed😅

[@caligurlawesomness]

randomly rewatched your first baldur companion video earlier while getting ready for work, got back and saw you’d put up a sequel!! weird coincidence but made my day, these vids are delightful

[@broken_hq7807]

Omfg the urge to read a BG3 x One Upon A Time fanfic is STRONG!! Hell, even a modern AU with this setting could prove to be just as effective. I'm just imagining this in TV show format: Gale sitting at his desk at 3 in the morning viciously typing away at his keyboard looking like a complete mess, sending an email to this random unknown higher up and getting increasingly frustrated with each response he gets. Mystra doesn't even have to make a direct appearance in this scenario, she could just be alluded to. And/or, the only form of communication he gets with his superiors is through Elminster. Minthara and Halsin sharing a greenhouse has me CACKLING!

[@Trashley112]

the fun thing about the OUAT ranking is that it immediately made me realize in this hypothetical you could just replace Mr. Gold with Raphael and literally nothing changes

[@polinaignatenkova3634]

"'oh but then you'll get burned' the ocean is Right There. Idiot. We'll hang out with the fish until the ocean firefighters get there" How are you the funniest person The idea of ocean firefighters tickles me. I'm imagining something between SpongeBob fish ppl and One Piece fish ppl with those hats, lugging a hose to safely get rid of the fire

[@GeekMasterGames]

Hmm... Karlach on motorcycles. Yes.

[@Rocker4JCforever]

I, too, had my brain shut down for a moment while I considered Karlach as a motorcycle mechanic. 🥵🤤

[@corvaes]

the romance astarion list was absolutely perfect. your read on these characters and how they interact with astarion lines up very closely with how i read his character. and wyllstarion owns. it took me a minute to get into the ship but once i did, the longer i thought about it the more i loved it i’m also in complete agreement about halsin seeing astarion as a project. any halstarion fic i’ve found with good characterization tends to have that element to it

[@daisyjohnson4837]

thinking about halsin crouched, huddled over a single left joycon

[@somewhat-blue]

I was a Dancing With The Stars superfan from seasons 10 through 16 and I cannot describe to you how firmly I agree that Minthara would be taking home that goddamn mirrorball trophy. I need her doing the jive or quickstep with complete, stone-faced seriousness more than I’ve ever needed anything.