Hammond, May, Clarkson Translation Fails Compilation #1

Why hasn't anyone made a subtitle/translation compilation. They're funny af.
ko-fi:ko-fi.com/mustang150
All the clips included in this montage are owned by Amazon or the BBC. This video is posted for entertainment purposes only.
Translation Fails #2: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a3qqdZKiq7B9kLM

[@eddiet7228]

Richard nails it at the end. Asking a question in a foreign language might let them understand you, but then you don’t understand the answer. So it’s useless.

[@ianghose1]

Also because while Hammond tried to ask in what he thought was French...he got an answer in what sounded rather Italian.

[@inflatablewolfie]

​@@ianghose1 Nah, the employee did answer in french.

[@joermnyc]

Yes, visiting Copenhagen’s Central Station someone asked us a question in Danish... we did Pimsleur Danish before we went, and the only part of his question we understood was “Excuse me.” The rest was utter gibberish to us, and we were barely able to say, “Sorry” (in Danish before we slunk off dejectedly. (Up to that point we thought we were doing rather well... for the few hours since we landed anyway.) Mind you about half of the Danish we learned were driving directions... which was kind of useless because we didn’t hire a car (the Metro/S-Bahn are useful and it’s a very walkable city.)

[@ianghose1]

@@inflatablewolfie With a distinct Italian accent. He even used the italian word 'per' instead of the French 'pour'.

[@seanjosephhayes]

Apart from “do you speak English?” if you don’t know the language 😂

[@genesisfd4418]

"All Japanese cars-" *car starts speaking japanese* *HELP* God that part is gold.

[@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89]

What scene is that bit from?! I really wanna know!

[@aarxv_s1042]

@@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89 some race between the Nissan GT-R and James,richard

[@harrisonthecarguy3734]

next time you go on holiday, look out for jeremy clarkson, if you arent careful, he will eat your souvineirs

[@coypucars]

Underrated

[@sebastianalvarado2390]

*”H I V WOT”* Had me crying bro 😂

[@ryos.5974]

It said “HIV positive” lmfaooo

[@VauxhaIIOpel]

5:23 James: is speaking Subtitles: *RICHARD*

[@curtislui2675]

🤣🤣🤣

[@AverageAlien]

jeremy really was messing with them

[@fredschriks8554]

"HIV what ?"

[@wlgns7127]

Lol I think what it tells meaning “HIV positive”.

[@user-gk2vw6cz6d]

HIV陽性

[@mysticgaming2455]

Im a big fat bald idiot/ says Jeremy while Richard " and im a short arse " 😂😂 i love the old top gear

[@mysticgaming2455]

woah thats the biggest likes i had thank you guys

[@ddutsie]

well....they are true words

[@10Milleca09]

Do you maybe know which episode from which season is it please?

[@Maoulduin]

I remember watching the Vietnam special when it was first broadcast and when Jeremy stood up and spoke Vietnamese, I damn near fell off my chair.

[@UrAnus1231]

What does he actually say? 😂😂

[@KwakHru]

What did he say?

[@henmmi]

@@KwakHru I think he said "You need to be 18", which was the answer to how old do you need to be to drive a motorbike. But I couldn't really understand his pronunciations of each word.

[@KwakHru]

@@henmmi thanks mate

[@inb4230]

That might actually be the funniest special ever, I've seen it probably 20 times

[@klausoliveira3932]

Actual translation: 3:44 - I should be careful not to break it. 3:47 - There aren't any rats in here, right? 3:49 - Nah, it's fine. Engine's ok.

[@spirimanea800]

James' romanian was actually quite good

[@radustar9]

i didnt understand shit XD

[@AlgotB]

I didnt understand either. But that might have to do with the fact that I don’t speak romanian.

[@Young_Blueberry_]

@@AlgotB bruhhhh lol

[@mynameisjeff9312]

@@AlgotB was waiting for this comment

[@rafan8270]

He was closer to speaking french than romanian

[@peterp.peterson6215]

6:10 As a Vietnamese, I can confirm that what Clarkson said was absolutely correct(although he absolutely butchered the language and I had to hear it three times to understand). Edit: This is the transcript of what they said: Teacher: Người lái xe mô tô phải được bao nhiêu tuổi?(How old must you be to ride a motorbike?) Clarkson: Được phép lái xe khi 18 tuổi.(You can ride a motorbike at 18 years old.)

[@Lobito-shi]

What did she ask Hammond?

[@jaggns5774]

that was at 5:55

[@nguyencanhgiang2414]

@@Lobito-shi She asked “ Khi đi ở trên đường, nên thực hiện chuyển dần hay chuyển ngay ?” Roughly translated “Should we switch lane slowly or immediatly, when operating on the motorway ?”

[@Corgman]

thanks for that he butchered it so i cant anything

[@mrarnold96]

@@nguyencanhgiang2414 Always give way to the car from the right

[@els236]

04:45 Let's start with the Porsche. The easiest to drive, quite neutral. Very "virile" in the corners. Takes only a couple of laps to get used to it and be at ease. The Ferrari. Just magnificent. Easy to drive and handles (vehicle balance) in a neutral fashion. A compromise between both the Porsche and McLaren. The McLaren. Not easy to drive. Very much a big boy's car. Very easy to make mistakes and therefore not easy to do fast laps.

[@S500-]

Are You Italian ?

[@harleyb7880]

Thanks man 🎉

[@els236]

@@S500- it's French... lol - And yes, I'm fluent in French

[@danielhaddad7118]

8:52 his face kills me every time

[@harikings4585]

😂😂😂

[@GenericUsername-qp1ww]

"dafuq he just say?"

[@samlastname9460]

As a South-eastern United Statesian, I understood none of what he just said.

[@zerronyx1362]

The best translation fail was when hammond chatted with a french man about swimming in the sea and failed to pick up about how he was desperately telling hammond not to swim because a british tourist went snorkelling the other day and got eaten by a shark

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

Clarkson: Did he say, “Be careful out there. Someone was eaten by a shark yesterday” and did you then say, “The pen of my aunt. Which way to the railways station? My tailor is very rich.”?

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

"My innards were wonderful, right?" Speechcraft 100

[@cart6r]

7:47 was one of the languages I could understand “hillbilly” 😂

[@dingleberryhandpump802]

How Jeremy mixed up яблуки and капусти is beyond me.

[@hotcauldron7918]

Wot?

[@fopeprancis3207]

@@hotcauldron7918 seriously? these are the basic fundamentals of the Russian language

[@pr0ge]

(translation: How Jeremy mixed up "apples" and "cabbages" is beyond me.)

[@gittebjerrebraae8382]

I know!!! I laughed and laughed..... (Dane here.... only understood the three unwise men)

[@joermnyc]

@@fopeprancis3207 Ukrainian, not Russian... People from Ukraine get very mad if you say they speak Russian... There are some differences between the two languages, though both may be able to understand each other (akin to the difference between France and French Canada).

[@decodolly1535]

6:55 - Ding! Stream of Japanese. *HELP!*

[@1.8millionvolts87]

@Natsuki Senpai shut up weabooo

[@danbi2000]

@@1.8millionvolts87 うるさい ばか

[@tatsuyaaaaaa]

it's saying something along the lines of "Warning, lane restriction ahead."

[@danbi2000]

@@tatsuyaaaaaa そうでづか？apologies as im still learning japanese

[@despacitodaniel801]

@@danbi2000 (笑笑)頑張れ!!

[@joermnyc]

I’m American and I didn’t understand anything at either tire shop.

[@mrkrabs8112]

Probably because he wasn't talking about oils and burgers and incest

[@ogichi32]

He said he has an old 40/40 machine which is too small to attach a big tire, for that you need a rim clamp and the only person in town who had one was once on main street but moved locations. The second mechanic was explaining to Jeremy that he has a high pressure tire inflation machine that will instantly fill the Mercedes tire up with air.

[@OhHeBustin]

@@ogichi32 thank you lol

[@OhHeBustin]

@@mrkrabs8112 yeah he wasn't talking about run on sentences mr krabs

[@taomahNEGEV]

@@ogichi32 How did you understand the second one?

[@skybenv2211]

Japanese man: So he's going to ask for the price Jeremy: HIV Japanese man: **VISIBLE CONFUSION**

[@Mamenber]

"I'm so fat I look like I'm pregnant, and I didn't tip at the bar" "And I've got a small willy" - Jeremy and James speaking Czech, Prague, 2014

[@supercarsofwichita9485]

5:24 shows Richard talking when its James may. Clarkson really was messing with those subtitles

[@bugsiins3407]

i think thats the joke

[@supercarsofwichita9485]

@@bugsiins3407 well its obvious what the joke is but its harder to tell if that's part of it. I'm sure it is tho

[@Liv1nMohawk]

Because Clarkson had the worst car

[@abhinavrox213]

Not a single player they showed in that Chelsea clip plays for that club now

[@Gordanovich02]

Well... clearly when whoever's in charge heard what they really said about The Excellent, he decided they were all idiots and would probably kick the ball into their own net.

[@mydickisincrediblytinyandi7380]

Ik, pretty cool actually

[@danielcrossfield165]

How tall is Clarkson? He looked almost as big as Courtois and hes 6ft 6 😂

[@James-cr8mt]

@@danielcrossfield165 I believe clarkson is 6”5

[@ariqyafifatalahputraani7]

@Bilal Khalid well, both Courtois and Hazard is at Real Madrid in the present

[@4D4Mss]

7:41 i laughed so hard here lmaooo

[@Mustang150y]

G T 2 0 0 0

[@4D4Mss]

@@Mustang150y yes

[@murcielago481]

Yellow evo. FIVE months ago I think KZbin is telling me something

[@anthony2384]

It means HIV positive btw

[@harrymurray2515]

1:47 Well that brilliant. It's a hybrid. We Built a Prius.

[@syahminorizan8064]

You dont think, the producers are messing with the subtitles, do you?

[@harrymurray2515]

@@syahminorizan8064 No. They wouldn't do that.

[@SilverSting420]

6:56 Clarkson's face is priceless.

[@tungabunga4107]

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) (ಠ_ಠ) (ᗒᗣᗕ)

[@joeysopinion4463]

@@tungabunga4107 how do you make thise

[@_Zekken]

The car is saying "up ahead there is *something*", and I think its saying please slow down. I cant figure out what it is thats ahead exactly, but it says 'Sha' which can mean 'car' so my best guess is its saying theres a car accident ahead, from my limited japanese skills

[@axelolsson7591]

5:30 This scene might be my favourite in television history...

[@helen-fk4bf]

I don’t understand that part tho, why is Jeremy laughing-

[@axelolsson7591]

​@@helen-fk4bf I mean he was joking, so it's not that strange that Jeremy laughed. It's also Richard's hopeful confidence that he would somehow get the answer right to a question that he doesn't understand through guessing. Beautiful delivery.

[@patrickm7701]

“HIV what?” Instantly made me lose it

[@shmookins]

Asking a question in a foreign tongue is one thing. Understanding the answer is a whoooole other level.

[@aditya.sagraha]

Iirc there's the Italian hot hatch episode where Jeremy's rough Italian is subtitled "my prawns don't function"

[@mooncake4511]

One of the skiers Hammond was talking to sadly passed. May his soul rip.

[@jamie150741]

How you know?

[@mooncake4511]

@@jamie150741 legally I can't ans that question

[@Riolupai]

@@mooncake4511 ?

[@man.thegreat]

@@mooncake4511 sus

[@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89]

*"Man" was not the Impostor.* Does that mean he's not coming on then?

[@Lionn8563]

0:57 i can confirm "vaši nogi" is pretty similar how you say "your legs" in croatian(thats where im from), and "vaši suveniri" is 100% how to say "your souvenirs" in croatian

[@yoggsaron8452]

Ваши ноги, ваши сувениры 🙃

[@Lionn8563]

@@yoggsaron8452 haha i dont know Cyrillic tho

[@gw-ue4sc]

Which episode is that ?

[@tungabunga4107]

@@gw-ue4sc the chernobyl one

[@Vlad290999]

@@Lionn8563 Damn, boy, и ты называешь себя хорватом?😂😂😂

[@raphtes2572]

Oooh how I would have loved being with them to translate all the french bits !

[@toospooky051]

What was the driver actually saying about the Ferrari, Porsche and McLaren?

[@raphtes2572]

@@toospooky051 About the Ferrari, he said it was a really well balanced car and that between the three, it was the best deal and makes you feel confient quite quickly. For the McLaren, the hardest one to drive, mistakes are easly made. It's not a car to start with, completing a lap is no easy task. As for the Porsche, we don't here anything... That's about it 😁

[@toospooky051]

@@raphtes2572 Mercí

[@lmno567]

@@raphtes2572 thank you for that.

[@raphtes2572]

@@lmno567 anytime 😌

[@poppyharlow4448]

James' idea of speaking a foreign language just being something like "hello, in Arabic" is hilarious.

[@Philip.Magnusson]

Love the bit in the first clip before Hammond gets into the car and says "hit the ham" In french lmao

[@FunkeFresh01]

Honestly I was failing Russian because of pronunciation, until a guy told me to show up drunk, and teachers says I improved dramatically

[@newbornwiccan948]

5:44 always give way to the car from the right lmao 🤣👋

[@NickC-Ohio]

I wanna see a famous foreigner eat a large head of lettuce while staring, hypnotized, into the horizon.

[@TheTYMan2000]

3:05 Real people, not actors

[@preetamkumar9496]

Heyyyy

[@adrielsebastian5216]

6:56 what the car was saying was "lane restrictions ahead, please drive carefully"

[@PPRRPelt]

This is my level of French when i put "excellent level of French" on my cv.

[@goostavofring]

6:56 I love his horrified expression from the alert

[@RalphieMuskinyaar]

When James and Richard ask for direction to the train station in Japan is just so wholesome. Chaka chochosh chosh 😂

[@sammy60164]

7:46 I'm from the Midwest of USA, and i couldn't even understand that guy! Deep south is a WHOLE different language. 😂

[@battlefieldP4Fbeta]

"H.I.V WoT?" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@daunteuflay4859]

thank you sir this is entertainment at its limits

[@imstupid880]

Does anyone remember when James tried to make his own sign language?

[@almightykellus2585]

Yea, the universal language from Man Lab series 3 episode 3

[@CzechMirco]

I know that the vietnamese driving lesson bit is ofc scripted as pretty much everything on the show, but I still can't help myself but feel a bit in an awe of Jeremy nailing the answer. Because it is simply so unexpected.

[@ThebigGisthebest]

It probably was scripted but Clarkson has also learnt quite a lot of Vietnamese, he spent some thing like 6 months living their just taking language classes and cookery lessons

[@HeadPack]

Great compilation. What were those hillbillies saying?

[@rinoz47]

i got an old 44 that takes a ram clamp to change them. oh she was down there, used to be on main street - at this point they are probably using proper nouns i cant follow and if you want to know what the second one was saying, well you can go to hell

[@ImThe5thKing]

@@rinoz47 "I got a cheater/Cheetah tank back here, it'll air it up. It's a tank that shoots all the air in at one time" Although I couldn't tell if he was saying Cheetah which is a brand that makes cheater tanks or just "cheater tank"

[@mydickisincrediblytinyandi7380]

It would probably be easier to read morse code than whatever the fuck they were saying 😆

[@coast2coast00]

@@ImThe5thKing A cheater tank, and a rim clamp. They were probably trying to fit some weird low profile or stretched out tires. A cheater tank would be a separate air tank designed to seat hard to get on tires.

[@ImThe5thKing]

@@coast2coast00 Well yeah I work in a shop and I'm basically the "tire guy" but I was referring to the brand when saying "Cheetah" cause the cheater tank I use is a Cheetah

[@idkjackm8365]

0:12 me in French class and my teacher listening

[@bastlake]

"You seem to have ordered some wood"

[@thanhtuoivu6601]

If you guys are wondering, the vietnamese lady was asking Jeremy about the age that the Vietnamese are allowed to drive or ride a vehicle. Jeremy simply answered: we’re allowed to drive when we are 18

[@lukerogers151]

"My car is the only one with a blower job" 😂😂

[@ziaakbar2535]

at 4:43 and 3:10 you can tell that jeremy was in charge of the translation subtitles

[@hanzorious]

Yes we saw the video

[@lladerat]

Clarkson - I'm a big fat bold idiot. Me - What the hell are you talking about? You're not bold.

[@Geo76er]

2:36-3:03 The Asteroids Galaxy Tour. Cool band.

[@Fc-cb3tn]

“HIV yosei” How in the name of god did Clarkson get from buying something to THAT??!🤣

[@advaitkamatha_4438]

1:12 I will eat your souvenirs

[@kisherian6031]

5:24 even the subtitles are switching up their names

[@alansohn855]

Jeremy had to cover his tracks somehow.

[@rifttogo7108]

Finally, i found a compilation of these!

[@striderx8255]

"You don't think the producers are messing with the subtitles, do you?"

[@Rasscasse]

Bloody hell, this has 1.1 million views now! Good stuff Mustang 👌

[@TheSquall9473]

"So James, this generator is charging the batteries as we drive along?" "Yeah!" "Well that's brilliant! It's a hybrid! We've built a Prius!" "You don't think the producers are messing with the subtitles do u?" "No, they'd never do that!"

[@warpey5632]

As someone to understand French, watching foreigners completely fail to speak French without realising is pure comedy to me.

[@taomahNEGEV]

This is most hilarious. Made my day.

[@VoVilliaCorp]

James saying ice skating man and picnic table never gets old XD

[@traviscarlson6718]

Jeremy : MY CAR IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BLOWER JOB 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jeremyfong5684]

I mean, it's close to having one

[@nd5910]

I love the subtitles for the french talks

[@shawncoolArmy]

"HIV wHaT" Clarkson

[@screweduptx512]

5:32 that was the best lmao

[@rimax82]

@08:44 😂

[@boromiszajano]

Thanks for this compilation, I laughed my ears off:D

[@graycola]

no-one: my french teacher: me in my French GCSE speaking exam: 00:03

[@Annabelle66633]

8:53 Jeremy’s reaction 😌😂🤣

[@syzonax]

9:09 I didn't know Brandon Flowers appeared in Top Gear

[@rishimakhanlal8905]

They were given speaking translation machines 😂

[@Veyron722skyhook]

Morale of this story: Have a proper translator (a human one)

[@CountFisco]

2:33 This laugh...

[@jacobbaumgardner3406]

I love that Hammond's translation was incorrect. Many the second language speakers won't know.

[@notmeowth]

6:54 LMFAO

[@TheToasterPope]

I’m American and I was still struggling to understand the Americans

[@turbopower780]

4:33 I am dead 🤣😂🤣

[@utehartman7489]

It's great watching this as a german

[@andrewh6292]

when I first heard his reviews on the holy trinity (The fake subtitled version) I was so happy cuz the P1 is my favorite car (and brand), but I found out that it was actually wrong lol

[@thariqfiorano7290]

3:11 damn i miss Eden in blue😔

[@MrEvan312]

Imagine them going to Hungary and (without their knowledge) being purposefully given that dirty Hungarian phrasebook from the Monty Python sketch...

[@wall4818]

Man, I had no idea the "where is your legs?" bit was from the same special as almost dying in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone.

[@flexvision2000]

1:10 Jeremy speaking in reverse.

[@eryczakpl2337]

6:58 cracked me up 😂

[@ewankerley4840]

6:54 HELP

[@CrashmoreElectricBlue]

Jeremy: You see the thing is, all Japanese cars- GT-R: *starts speaking anime* Jeremy: HELP!

[@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89]

You're on your own there, Clarkson, sorry!

[@troyrosin3466]

The hillbilly portion got me laughing so hard

[@oc_vatsal_1197]

I'M THE BIG MUSHROOM

[@oyblech8671]

the guy at 2:51 is just like 'your guts are what. get me the fuck out now!'

[@arnavg7486]

7:47 😂😂

[@memes4themasses365]

In that first clip the sub titles are actually what he’s saying lol

[@senkumeow5095]

My dear,I just can't stop laughing,I just might need some help...

[@shitpost-o-matic7469]

Lmaoooooo hammond's french 😂

[@o_o-_-8639]

Can someone tell me what is the ep. and the season of this short episode at 8:54?

[@samueltowers7042]

For this video I got Hammonds opel Cadet 1963 from Botswana ad