The Bizarre but True Story of the Rusty Hammer Donut

It occurs to me that this seems unbelievable...like I set the whole thing up from the beginning to create Hankschannel content, and you can believe that conspiracy theory if you want, but that's not the situation.
Why did I put the donut in a Subway cup? This is going to sound weird but I did that so that I wouldn't have to take out all of my office trash. if I just threw the donut in there it would have gotten nasty fast, so I put it in the subway cup so that I would be able to just take the subway cup into the main garbage in the house instead of having to throw away all my office garbage do you get it?
If you have thoughts re: how this happened, please let me know, I remain perplexed.

[@thewinterizzy]

I kind of hope you wake up tomorrow and the Subway cup is on your nightstand with a little bit more of the donut eaten. Can you imagine. 😂

[@somaniradhika]

thewinterizzy 😂😂

[@Razbeariez]

That's a horror movie I'd watch

[@0dious]

"Ghost of Recycling: The Awakening"

[@camelopardalis84]

+thewinterizzy Then it would be clear that Katherine did it. Wait! Maybe she pulled this prank on Hank!

[@sherylw4599]

You're a little bit evil ... and it's pretty flippin' funny

[@CaptainPIanet]

Your life is wild Hank

[@osmia]

Your life is wild Hank

[@ProfessorPuppet]

The upright-ness of the cup is what seems the weirdest. But maybe it's just a coincidence. MAYBE, if you jam a heavy donut in the bottom of a paper cup, the weight just tends to make it land upright when tossed - or shaken off the head of a frustrated raccoon when he hears you coming. It's like those youtube water bottle flippers, but in raccoon form.

[@toobusytocreateaname]

ProfessorPuppet +

[@ameena6485]

+ Good thinking. That could be the case.

[@GarceusLegend]

+ If Hank still has access to it, that might be something worth testing. Doesn't prove who ate it or was involved, but at least it might remove some of the eerie factor. Or add to it.

[@iplaysdrums]

JAM a donut! Get it?

[@sarahprunierlaw9147]

+

[@fakjbf3129]

Next week put another donut in a cup in the trash but set of a camera to record what happens. If it's a person just let us know but don't release the video, if it's a raccoon then share the video so we can enjoy the adorableness.

[@nikkifeltman8523]

Fakjbf +

[@sampaiosamps9930]

+

[@FrumpybutSuperSmart]

+

[@kira540]

+

[@progyandas8223]

+

[@thebradcolbow]

Narrator: But Hank would sleep walk again and again before realizing he had a problem.

[@cupofmocah]

Honestly hanks posting schedule recently keeps me alive!

[@guppy8073]

The donut will never leave u hank. you could burn it in a fire and it would still find its way back to u

[@Fluid_Chaos]

Shadow_Owl242 "The treat came back, the very next day, the treat came back, you thought it was some garbage but the treat came back, it just wouldn't stay away..."

[@sylviaodhner]

This donut will haunt Hank for the rest of his life.

[@Skip6235]

It’s like the killer snail from rooster teeth

[@oof-rr5nf]

Shadow_Owl242 Yesss. Accepted as headcanon. When will this be made into a horror flick.

[@MarkThePage]

Hank, I'm still not convinced you didn't get up in the middle of the night to go sleep-eat the rusty hammer donut. And that doesn't change my opinion of you.

[@rikareader9315]

++

[@GaviLazan]

Probably a raccoon or other animal smelled it, found it, got its nose stuck while trying to eat it, and the got it off in the middle of the road.

[@Naiadryade]

This seems like the most likely explanation to me.

[@DineLade]

it's still baffling that the cup stood there instead of lying on its side

[@danochy5522]

Or Katherine is pranking Hank :)))

[@gamesman0118]

Yes and after getting it off it's nose didn't want to risk it again so left.

[@nyramurphy1845]

I love the new hankschannel

[@jagrubster]

I am very glad that you find time to share things like this with us

[@GaleFlamel]

Seems like a lot of work to hide your love for rusty hammer doughnuts

[@groovypullet2337]

Hank have you ever read the Rime Of The Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge? A sailor shoots an albatross for fun and from that moment on he is cursed. The albatross' corpse is hung unremoveably (is that a word?) Around his neck and all sorts of disasters happen until he realises and repents for his sin of killing a beautiful harmless thing, and the albatross falls away. The donut will keep turning up, Hank. The donut will haunt you forever because you cruelly took a hammer to it. THE DONUT IS YOUR ALBATROSS, HANK.

[@winterkeptuswarm]

+

[@Grarrgle]

This new wave of regular videos on this channel has quickly become the most entertaining stuff in my sub box. Thank you, raccoon/very hungry person, for creating this opportunity for us to enjoy.

[@teen-at-heart]

Re recycling in other countries: donut goes into organic waste (compost/methane facility), plastic goes into plastic recycling, smashed router goes into electronics waste management. :)

[@eliwest3393]

Raccoons have very good senses of smell. And very good tactile senses.

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Some people like to put their food waste inside their empty drinks cup. I've seen people do that with sandwitches before, I don't think it's very uncommon. A local freegan might have a method of always checking drinks cups for waste food. If there is food in the drinks cup you can probably be more sure of it not having touched non-food garbage than if you find food in the garbage without any kind of container.

[@DineLade]

that actually makes a lot of sense but still begs the question why the person didn't eat the whole donut?

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Maybe they noticed flakes of rust and changed their mind about it being a good thing to eat?

[@driverjayne]

I know this is super old but freegans generally don't go through household trash cans. They go to grocery store dumpsters where large quantities of perfectly good food is thrown away, generally not contaminated by other trash.

[@00Linares00]

We're having a lot of fridays lately

[@loe1234567890]

Andre Vieira One per week on average

[@fraserorourke2028]

Hear me out... It's the wolf llama... or llamawolf... can't decide

[@onytay75]

+

[@sadderwhiskeymann]

lmaowolf?

[@NiklasFreidwall]

The big question is why you throw recyclable electrinics, recyclable plastic, recyclable paper and compst in the same bag. In Sweden thats sorted into four different bags to be recycled.

[@lindseymuscara8869]

This isn't the video I thought I'd watch today, but here we are. No regrets.

[@nicklas7377]

The time it took me to understand that the donut is not, in fact, from a food place called "Rusty hammer" but Hank calls it that because he hit it with a rusty hammer which is also the reason he doesn’t eat it is…longer then I would like it to be. (…listen I’m European and you Americans have countless fast food places and sometimes strange names for those places like grocery stores called "Giant eagle" and "Big bear" or chains marketed towards kids whose mascot is something you love to associate with food and hygiene…a mouse called Charles entertainment cheese. Also I associated Rusty as a name in this context.)

[@thelocalsage]

I know I’m two years late to this specific party but the vlogbrothers have been an integral part of my life for like seven years and the fact that I have not seen this video until now really speaks to the volume of content they have created

[@camelopardalis84]

You put electronic trash into the normal garbage? No way to recycle it, Mr GREEN?

[@theicedragon100]

everyone knows you have to recycle e wast.

[@Piemasteratron]

Yeah what happened to recycling Hank?

[@shadowsfromolliesgraveyard6577]

I think you mean, Mr NOTSO Green.

[@Piemasteratron]

Kieron George Mr NotsoGreen from now on

[@stellagilbert]

+

[@ShadyPossum]

I sincerely hope that when i grow up my life is as interesting as Hanks

[@PearlAlex]

I love that I could read the title, understand the reference, and yet not expect this.

[@TheGlowstickOverdose]

Thank you so much for all the Hankschannel uploads.

[@exlibris2249]

If you think about it, your video was about a half eaten donut in an upright subway cup. This is the kind of content I like.

[@SomeBritishDud1]

I would love it if John's next video on Vlogbrothers was just "I know what happened to the donut and I am sorry".

[@katerw9650]

I'm loving the frequent videos on this channel 10/10

[@TrAnMu]

Maybe they were thirsty and wanted to see if there was some melted ice (water) in there. But then found the donut and were like “hey donut!” And took a bite but then tasted rusty hammer so they stopped eating.

[@ThisIsReMarkable]

I'm really glad this happened before your video came out or I would be weirded out and concerned that someone knew about the donut, came to your house (which meant they knew where it is. Euch.), and specifically retrieved the donut cup. But I don't think that's the case because of the Subway cup. Good thinking on the subway cup, Hank.

[@pvtpain66k]

A Crow or Raccoon got startled halfway through eating your rusty doughnut. Thank you for enabling me to post that exact phrase.

[@calvinball1]

When you hear hoof steps, never think zebras, think horses right? .... it was a racoon. This step advice is relative to your local environment. May change if you work in a zebra sanctuary.

[@kitoshi]

As a huge fan of Hank and John, these daily videos are making my day. Thanks

[@FutureNow]

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, HANK

[@arrbos]

My area (Vancouver-ish, BC) has a compost recycling program so that was a little surprising to me. Amazing how fast you get used to not putting organics in with the electronics.

[@chitwansingh]

+

[@ACDBunnie]

I. AM. LOVING. All these hankschannel videos. I'm getting new hank in my sub box like all the time.

[@sofftgiraffe]

these latest hankschannel videos have been my favourite thing

[@abbierivett6950]

This is one of my favourite Hankschannel videos by miles

[@pgraterol]

Human and Raccoon are not mutually exclusive!

[@mMeFlora]

omg i'm shaking _what_ does that mean ....

[@pgraterol]

mMeFlora it’s open to artistic interpretation !

[@DineLade]

ohhh interesting

[@camelopardalis84]

+Pedro Graterol Cartman.

[@RestlessHarp]

Are you suggesting it was Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy? lol

[@emilyc99]

These “hank green slice of life” videos have a quality to them that I don’t know how to describe. It’s a good quality but there’s not a word for it? Whatever it is, I want more.

[@FuleMedia]

Ok, again though, why did you buy a rusty hammer, and not a ... not rusty one?

[@kittycat7471]

+

[@alliethomas6464]

+

[@jmz1736]

It was probably not rusty when he bought it and then became rusty

[@Nofxthepirate]

Michelle Ziems he said in the vlogbrothers video that he spent $5 on a hammer for the video so now we are required to "Hank" him with his own rope. He must explain the hammers origins.

[@zizkazenit7885]

In the short clip he showed it looked like he was in a thrift/construction surplus shop

[@c-cubecreates4404]

Hankschannel is quickly becoming by favourite channel :)

[@chesbrocrysta]

I love all these little videos. They make my day

[@carlhumanbcrab]

my major question about this is do Americans not have recycling bins???? like if that was england, those three items go in separate bins, or if you are especially good you put effort in and take the router to an electronics recycling centre

[@onemooreperson13]

You know that feeling Hank was expressing in the video in the alley? That's the closet I can come to explaining the feeling I have when watching one of Hanks videos. I love it so much. Btw, my theory is racoon. Probably smelled it. I think it plopped down with the cup to enjoy the rust donut and then was startled or frustrated so it left the cup like that.

[@SethMacMillan]

This is my favorite thing ever. Yet again, more and more I hear, I cannot help but believe that classic paraphrased quote from Mark Twain: Truth is stranger than fiction.

[@MathHacker42]

How have I gone for so long without being subscribed to this channel

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

If this happened after the video, I would totally have thought that a fan found your trash, and I would kind of oddly admire that determined donut-nibbling fan.

[@SEH221]

i love that you're posting more on here!

[@jamesblinzler1637]

I’m a garbage man in real life Hank, and I also enjoy science and love your channel. I would have to ask about maybe homeless ppl wandering your alley and looking for treasure or food or maybe raccoons,opossums, or trash bears in your area. Then I’m reminded that trash trucks can fling stuff everywhere and chances are the cup flew into the air and the doughnut weighed the cup down from the base and it “bottle flipped challenged” ejecting the cup lid and straw and the cup landed on its base with the remaining doughnut inside as the trash truck drove away.

[@Kat-qk5ob]

I absolutely LOVE these more frequent uploads. How else would i have found out about some random raccoon who gave your trash back to you?? Amazing.

[@buffster948]

Racoon: "Ooo, I smell snacks!" Racoon: "Ew, Rusty Hammer?! Really?! I only do Krispy Kreme."

[@Mehrnooshb]

I love how abruptly these Hankschanel videos end.

[@CatherineLu]

This was a thing to wake up to.

[@katkam_]

Anyone else loving all these random unedited vlogs?! ♡

[@camelopardalis84]

+Katkam Most of us, probably.

[@calvinball1]

I feel like all of these videos that are cutting off at the end could be a secret message. Possibly related to the plot to the upcoming book.

[@Skip6235]

ThankGOD you found it before the video went live, otherwise that would have been “time to move to a new state” territory

[@manyrainbows]

Totally a raccoon. I have (had?) a raccoon living in my water heater closet all winter. My husband would give it a bowl of dry cat food every night. My husband set the bowl on top of the water heater, and one day watched Ricky Raccoon (yes, we named him...) look my husband in the eye, grab the bowl in his mouth, carry it down to the floor, and then use his hands to calmly eat the dry cat food, all while never taking his eyes off my husband. So if a raccoon can do all that, I have NO PROBLEM believing one could sniff out a donut, take the lid off the Subway cup, and start snacking on the donut contained within before something startled it. And really, raccoons are very fastidious and will avoid making a mess whenever possible.

[@zizkazenit7885]

I guess this is what you do is there's no one to yell at you for getting to work late.

[@emilyrose4269]

This is 100% the start of hanks next mystery novel

[@KallianaCorus]

I'm pretty sure by this point we know that you can probably turn almost anything into fun, random hankschannel content, you don't need to stage a rusty hammer donut mystery. You're just the type of person who finds themselves in a situation when there happens to be a rusty hammer donut mystery... Also, I'd like to vote to nickname the mysterious donut eater Sue.

[@Azzarinne]

This is why I love this channel. 💖😂

[@laurenpierce835]

That is such a traumatizing experience. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing there was a hammer donut-eating cryptid skulking around

[@MCRogueHaven]

I think this is my favorite channel.

[@verdatum]

Sleepwalking Hank wanted a midnight snack. Rusty Hammer Donut is now the name of my Hank Green tribute band.

[@TheSugarRay]

This is like the start of a creepypasta or arg.

[@latestranger]

Because of the length of the video I assumed this was a vlogbrothers video (even though it's the wrong day, in retrospect), and it took me a looooong time to realise the profound take or the bringing it around for a mainsteam audience bit wasn't going to happen.

[@nowculturezine]

I hope this video is part of a series in which you become more and more insane, culminating in you wrapping yourself inside a giant donut.

[@MiddleAgedNerd]

Can we forget for a few moments about rusty hammer doughnuts, raccoons, and demolished routers and just address what's going on with Hank's face? There's something certainly going on around the mouth area (and a bit on the chin.) Not sure what it is, though.

[@jessicaonymous4352]

Middle Aged Nerd oh god I see it now

[@emullinsstreams]

He's had facial hair before... lol

[@onytay75]

Middle Aged Nerd +

[@rachaelcarlson1714]

Almost certainly raccoon. That’s a great story tho and I am glad you did not eat the rusty hammer donut

[@jaeric]

If nothing else was disturbed I doubt it was an animal, especially since it was sitting upright when you found it. But I guess it could be, weirder things have happened.

[@OddAlice]

Can someone people write a story about someone constantly finding rubbish being moved and placed in the middle of their alley. I don’t know why, but I would definitely read that.

[@Travis_1997]

see 30% of stephen king's novels

[@Kelly_Z]

This reminds me of Stephen King's "The Dark Half"

[@Nae_Ayy]

this is the quality content I subscribe for.

[@Pruncible]

Could it have been the wolfdog?

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Maybe if the wolfdog has opposable thumbs? I think it'd be difficult to get the lid off the subway cup without partially crushing the cup if all you had was paws and a mouth. Evidence that it's a warewolf after all?

[@raqFarha]

I once found a partially eaten chocolate chip muffin balanced on the handle of a snow shovel that was leaning against the outside wall of my house. In the backyard, with a closed gate and fence. It prompted me to put a security light/camera back there. It was a squirrel.

[@rachelleggett1634]

This reminds me of the time that someone switched the entire contents of my trash and recycling cans! My neighborhood has a good amount of people coming through checking for returnables in the trash, but only once has someone ever deliberately swapped every item. It was bizarre. Maybe they were upset we had no returnables.

[@RememberTheTrees]

So weird. I was afraid for a second you had some crazy fans or something, but then relieved when you said the video came out after the incident.

[@CapsPage]

I would like to formally apologize for doubting your rusty donut eating willpower.

[@lilykep]

Thanks for the new Creepypasta Hank.

[@factoredpuppy]

Sleep eating! The thought of that wasted donut haunted you so much that you went out and ate it in your sleep!

[@berglettemom6045]

Big doings in Missoula, Montana!

[@CaptNSquared]

You could pick up a food place cup, feel that it is far to heavy for an empty cup, assume there could be food in it, and then check.

[@Xpndable]

I'm really liking unfiltered stream of conciousness Hank

[@TheEricBray]

What blows my mind is your alley is paved

[@elewis9180]

The problem with that premise is that you assume 'they' were going for the donut. The stranger phenomenon is that it was just there, by itself, sitting upright in the alley. Like, what are the odds of that? That would be one crafty raccoon...

[@ragdoll2442]

You look so thoroughly confused it's adorably hilarious

[@RowanRiderofRohan]

Last night I witnessed my friend's micro opera based on this experience. It was glorious.

[@victoriaz14]

These videos give me life.

[@YamiChip]

I found this far more compelling than Infinity War

[@CynStacy]

I am more interested in the reaction from your neighbors as you recorded such a glorious reaction.

[@marcdean9618]

DFTBA- Doughnuts From Trash Be Awesome

[@cedareverly5497]

Marc Dean how about Back Again

[@marcdean9618]

Cedar Everly sure

[@nadiak4661]

now u need to strategically place several rusty hammer donuts in the same trashcan and set up a camera to create a movie about the donut theft

[@PearlAlex]

Scene beginning from 0:56. Oh man i started with amazement and then unstoppable laughter.

[@BaileysPeople]

The Hank chronicles continues

[@GrantLanning]

Poor little critter, gonna get Tetanus from Hank smashing the donut with the rusty hammer.

[@mandyelizabeth84]

Plot twist: It was Hank sleepwalking, and he DID eat the rusty hammer donut, but just can't remember doing it.

[@kateh7484]

An absolutely remarkable mystery.