Happiness for Enneagram Type 3

[@kevinredifer8558]

Ugh. For the longest time I thought I was a 5, but i was never really comfortable with that. After a lot of soul-searching, it's become obvious to me that I'm actually a 3w4 who experienced massive failure and moved to that catatonic 9ish state. I beat myself up constantly for my perceived fall from greatness and got into a lot of awful habits which sapped my energy and deteriorated my health. At my lowest, I completely stopped even trying to achieve - I just made excuses and tried to make it look like success. Now, I'm back into the swing of things and have my life more or less on track. I'm learning to trust again. I'm succeeding, more or less. To any disheartened 3s out there, I have but one message: you are doing fine. You're okay as you are. Find what it is you actually want.

[@UrbanArtCentral]

How long were you stuck in that down time Stage? I'm going through that now as a 3.

[@philcole368]

thanks Joshua, After 20 years living the textbook 3 corporate life, I was let go, and what a wonderful gift. I am exhausted it's so true what you said. And I'm practicing a less driven attitude, and am being to find myself, a person I forgot. Nice work with your videos.

[@katherinew2155]

When I was 14, I was a lead in a musical and everyone told me how great I was, but I felt that I hadn't accomplished what I should have because I made one mistake in the very first performance on opening day. Because of that one mistake, I couldn't feel proud of myself for that accomplishment. I didn't feel successful. Needless to say, I didn't ever go back to acting. I felt no joy from it. I spent the rest of my school days excelling in my class work and desiring recognition from my teachers. I think there's a lot of emphasis about 3's needing validation from others, but I think the problem is that deep down we feel like failures, no matter how many people think we are successful and tell us that. I want to see myself as successful, but no matter what I do, I never feel that way... so I keep going, wanting to achieve more and more in hopes that I will one day see myself as successful. The cycle never ends. I get depressed when I am not achieving something and I start questioning the meaning of existence and wishing I was like normal people who were just content with doing nothing. I also greatly question how people can be satisfied in life without having goals or focussing on something and accomplishing things.. I would be so bored if I had that life.. but I also wish I could be content. Anyways... those are just my musings on what it's like being a type 3.

[@hirokoyamamoto8857]

OMG, this is exactly what I’m thinking!! Thanks so much for sharing! It made me feel better to know that I’m not the only one!!

[@Mbalz779]

You just typed out my whole life

[@Stoffendous]

Sounds more like the type 1 perfectionism than a 3s need to achieve.

[@SallyTadmor]

thanks! i really enjoyed your video. you seem very happy and relaxed when you talk, very authentic. As a 3 I learned a lot. For example, I liked the imitation of a 3 smiling to you in a party, and you not knowing what he things about you. very funny and true!

[@lisazoria2709]

As someone with a three wing I've begun to recognize all these kinds of "unhealthy motivators" you've mentioned. It scares me actually because it makes me feel empty and contradicts my type 4 (main type) desire to be authentic. I especially agree with your assessment of American culture being 3ish. As someone who's lived in L.A. my entire life, and especially as an aspiring filmmaker, it is so tempting to get lost in unhealthy "threeishness" being around these Hollywood types. Sometimes I just want to get away and separate myself from it, but I'd hate to give up on my dream before I've really accomplished much. Anyway, this was a great video and reminder to "keep it real" in a way :) (Btw, loved your video on type Fours as well. So nice to know other people deal with similar emotional issues. :))

[@rebecam.8397]

I'm a three and I really like you. 😊......because you offer me information I need to be successful. Lol but you look very friendly and interesting👌

[@MaryMathews54]

These are absolutely terrific.... you are spot on (and also really make me laugh!) Thanks so much for creating/sharing these!

[@ChrysalisCoding]

I love to hear you talk. Your voice is so calming and you are a great storyteller. Supposedly, I am a Type 3, 2, 7. Your videos are very informative!

[@riaannesimoens]

"They'll soon get bored when they realise that there's not" :-D Very fourish note, there ;-)

[@BenRosner]

Love your enneagram videos. Haven't found anything out there as clear and informative. Thank you for sharing.

[@coomzee1]

Thankyou So MUCH !!what you have shared in this upload for me has been/is quite profound for me hear and I can deeply relate to it Im 50 years old and have only just come across the eneagram Absolutely amazing insights into what really makes me tick.Massive appreciation to You for doing these videos Joshua

[@rebecam.8397]

I need more of this. Help me get better. I just got out of a huge depression because I felt absolutely useless please make more videos about the three im so scared of falling back into the pit of my mind

[@athenabotbol6474]

Fuck, I'm a cold superficial monster.

[@darrickwhite1986]

OMG, when he mentioned Louis Vuitton, I gagged!!! That's me. I have several LV wallets and bags but they are not the monogram flashy ones, but the subtle ones you can see the detail, and see if you look closely you will know its an LV. I'm a 3w2. Then he mentioned Lady Macbeth, loved her character, Posh Spice, and Mr. Ripley, too some faves. Scary spot on!!

[@MKSpeakz]

Darrick White for me it’s Versace 😂😂 I’m a 3w2 as well and I’m pretty materialistic, I know and love myself now however life is too short to not have the best. It’s all about experience so why not enjoy it

[@dilemma_unheard-of_dilemma1917]

I’m a 9, and I feel empathetic for 3, because I realise as hard as it is for me as a 9 to get going, is as hard as it is for a 3 to stop.

[@franziskasteiner4635]

Thank you so much for this series! First of all I love the way you talk, very calm but intense or as you would say in this video, genuine. I thought I was a 1 at first, but 3 really blew my mind! It's so accurate in many ways and I would love to give that "description" to people and say "wanna know me?" - read this! Thanks for this eye opening video!

[@kuroshruch-kamgar4358]

Thank you for making these, I especially liked your video on the type one. While I was watching I felt the desire to understand ideals for each type. For example perhaps the three's great ideal doesn't mean to achieve a [symptomatic] state of warmth; and instead it should mean a direct connection with the abundant unfolding of the great self - all that exists (as opposed to narrow symptoms and visions toward which we strive). For example, to know what vision and state will be miraculous, takes the miracle out of it.

[@margiemassar-fjeld3845]

I am 2,3 &8 ...A 3 also remind me of the play the glass menagerie...I am an Olympic athlete my wife who is also three Emmy award winning actress and producer but I'm also a two and an eight...I'm in my 60s now it's taken me awhile to figure out myself so thanks to Enneagram and you too for your excellent explanation of all nine of the enneagram personalities great job!

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Deep grief from loss will STOP the 3 back to connectedness.

[@ppapshrek4485]

How do I stop. Is that something I just need to notice and do when I'm moving? What does that look like. I tried stopping and staying in the moment. Shortly after, with a state of pure confusion, I started crying

[@nmarcus7233]

Great breakdown

[@inaiachaar3434]

I used to get 7w8 on my enneagram, but I took another test and I got 3w4. right now I don't know what to think, cause am an ENTP and I can identify with pretty much any personality if suggested, can you give me some light in here?

[@marcaurel9322]

Ich sehe mir gerne diese Enneagramm Videos von Joshua an, hab jedoch festgestellt, dass ich mich durch die Darstellung jeweils eines Typs überall wiederfinde. In dem Buch "Wer du wirklich bist" von D. Rathmer sind Übersichten, wo ich auf einen Blick alle 9 Typen vergleichen kann. Das hat mir letzendlich den Durchbruch gebracht und Klarheit verschafft.

[@crowbird213]

Fantastic! Thank you so much.

[@BrentThomasFit]

Thank you for your insight.

[@chilldude2376]

You look like Ewan McGregor

[@wafaaharmel4643]

Do you think it is possible for a 7 and a 3 to have a long term relationship?

[@Mbalz779]

Where are you? No recent posts

[@KendrixTermina]

You actually did "the voice". It's almost frightening. O.o

[@frauk.522]

i like you :-D it´s difficult to concentrate me on the Text (im German) cause you´re so sympathetic (? right in english)

[@sosnow6194]

Yeah I would say the 3 is probably the most busy off all. Even tho I am an 8 and it's excessive tendencies I feel the 3 is even more busy. Yet im confused about victoria beckam, are 3 most likely to get trophy wifes instead of true love ? Sry for my straight forward genuine question I'm an 8 ^^. Not meaning any arm nor resrepect just trying to understand

[@jennar.strawberry4938]

I really like your videos. :)

[@davidtrig]

So what do we fall back into?

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Prestige, fame, star,

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Impressing people excessively has an empty core

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

What can others do for me?

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Reptilian/ruthlessness for the goal

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Soul exhaustion

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Back to connectedness

[@jeffbenefield6039]

Shit this is me all the way

[@alexchaney8916]

Hillary Clinton type 3?