Happiness on Opiates VS: Sober Happiness

Hey guys -
I wanted to talk a little about the happiness I feel today, in comparison to the happiness I felt while I was on opiates.
I am now one of those people who can say: "It gets better." Because it really does. Even for someone like me, who struggles with mental diagnoses... I'm so much better today than I was a month ago. It's incredible. And by practicing mindfulness, it's made it clear to me how much happier I am.
I'm still very new to recovery. But my mindset has changed completely. And I have zero interest in going backwards. Despite struggling with the anxiety and depression, now that I'm not numbed up, it truly has all been benefit. I feel more equipped to handle life than I have in a long time.
Thank you all, for being a part of my journey thus far. And thanks for letting me be a part of yours. 💛
Please sub and show some support to Kickin Addiction. / @kickinaddiction
Peace, love and good vibes -
- Jason

[@TroublezAhead00]

I needed this. Thank you.

[@TheseFourWalls]

🙏✌🙏

[@cece3194]

Wow! You're sticking with it! I'm glad for you. I came off suboxone twice and was heartbroken when I had to return to it because of an chronic pain. It just feels hopeless sometimes. I can't live with the pain but I hate the suboxone too. WTF. Good to see others getting well. You stick it out one day at a time bro. God bless 😘

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for the support. I tried getting clean several times in the past, But this time, with all of your guys support, it's just felt different. And now I'm starting to experience the benefits of being sober... And trying to be mindful of those benefits has helped. Thanks so much for your kind and supportive comments. 😊💛✌

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@Discovering_Nicole1 💛

[@rockinroberta9925]

C CC 🌸

[@noellemerry514]

You have definitely shown up for yourself !!! Wishing you more of those moments of relaxed bliss and days that rate a solid eight. Thanks for the video and here's looking at a Happy New Year!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so very much, for your kindness and continued support, Noelle! It means the world to me. I hope 2019 brings us all a lot of happiness, good health and great memories. 💛😊✌ Happy New Year!

[@dp8708]

I've really been struggling with whether this withdrawal (24hrs in) will be worth it but what you said about falling asleep comfortably w/o percs and being numb vs happy, really resonated. Just want to thank you for sharing - and know that there's probably a lot more lurkers like me who rarely subscribe and comment but we're watching and reading, and basically clinging to any strand of hope while we go through this...

[@TheseFourWalls]

The struggle is truly worth it, my friend. I know it feels like it's gonna take forever to feel normal again... But honestly, after less than 1 week, I was physically feeling better... And now with over a month clean, my happiness has improved so, so much. EVERYTHING has improved, honestly. Just remember to be proud of yourself. Show up for yourself, and realise you deserve the benefits of a sober life. And just stay sober for one day at a time. You'll get there. I'm proud of your progress. The first 4 days were the worst, for me, then it was more mental. Stay strong, and thanks so much for the comment. ✌😊✌

[@dp8708]

@@TheseFourWalls Thanks again for your thoughtful response. I'm a week into this, and just now starting to see the light at the end of this dark, fearsome tunnel. It really is one tiny step at a time. To anyone else reading this. It can be done - It has been done, and with the support of everyone here - we'll help you get through this. Please just ask.

[@TheseFourWalls]

I'm so proud of you, my friend! For me, the first 7 days were the worst. Then you start getting relief. After that, it turns into a mental battle... But one that is totally doable, as long as you stay on top of it, and reach out for support. I'm so happy that you're starting to see that light! It gets better and better, the more work you put in to your recovery. Stay strong! 💪😊✌

[@hol3raturboiaddictionsobri371]

What’s up brother good job man keep up the support brotha positive vibes man

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks for showing support, my friend! It means a lot. 💪😊✌

[@hol3raturboiaddictionsobri371]

Bro I seen you from another recovery channel I’m just getting to know the recovery scene on you tube I have a channel my self but yeah man stuck with it brotha

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@hol3raturboiaddictionsobri371 Yeah, I saw you in Nicole's live stream earlier, and I subbed to your channel. 😊 Having this recovery family has really helped me get the support I needed. It's been so great, and beneficial. 💪😊✌

[@MaineReactor]

Goosebumps brother! I think I talk in a video about how I hated actually waking up when I was in active addiction. I wished I had been taken in my sleep as well back then. This is why reaching out to others now for you will help tremendously! You will get the same kind of happiness that I get seeing you succeed and it warms my soul Jason! I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you still doing so well! Waves of anxiety and depression will persist for a while but the true happiness we feel now makes it so worth the learning curve we go through trying to figure out how to deal with shit again! We are saving lives Jason. Keep it up! So proud of you! Peace and Love homie! ✌🏼❤️

[@TheseFourWalls]

Yes, brother! The true happiness makes the learning curve we're thrown so much easier to deal with. All the struggle has been worth it. I've tried to embrace it, and I've now been wearing it like a badge of honor in front of all my relatives. I feel stronger, and mentally, so much more resilient. I'm so happy I made it to this point - where I can see all the benefits. And the benefits truly do outweight the waves of depression and anxiety. I feel more balanced by the day. And more capable of helping others now, which feels so important right now. Thanks Shane, for believing in me, even before I did. You were the first one to shout me out in a video, you were the first one who I identified with on so many levels, and you were the first one who made me feel like I was mentally tough enough to do this. Thank you for being such an awesome person and friend. I'm forever grateful to you, and my whole recovery family. 💪😊💛✌ You guys have helped me find purpose again.

[@MaineReactor]

I am going to continue to believe in you and also in myself! 2019 will be an amazing year! Appreciate you and proud to call you a friend! Continue being proud of yourself because you should be! Take care my friend! ✊🏻

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@MaineReactor And continue being proud of yourself too, my friend. I'm super proud of you, and happy to call you my friend. Here's to a happy, healthy new year! I hope 2019 is great for all of us. 😊✌💛

[@kellyandersen3856]

I am so proud of you.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you for your encouragement and kindness. 🙏🌻

[@kerryirving2949]

This is BRILLIANT to hear Jason! It made me smile & warmed my heart!

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you, my friend. I'm glad it made you smile. I'm much happier now, and it's a great feeling. 😊💛✌

[@nicelydone4846]

I'm glad I found your channel! I relate to everything your saying in this video. I've also experienced those moments of euphoria in recovery. Its like I realized i was safe. Im not sure I'm describing this very well. I'm so grateful for these moments bc I too struggle with depression. Anyways, I hope both of us can find more of these moments and increase the amount of time we feel happy. I need to work on mindfulness and staying present. 💙💜

[@CMoore8539]

Nicely Done me too.💛

[@TheseFourWalls]

Yes, those moments of euphoria are great. I think the happiness I now feel capable of feeling is going to help me stay sober. Practicing being mindful has been really crucial to me. It's such an easy thing to practice, but such an easy thing to forget to practice. Lol, it's easy to forget to remember to be mindful. :) Thanks for being here, and being supportive. 😊💛✌

[@scottishserin]

Jason this is such a great vid. Gave me so many things to think about and so many things to look forward to. 👍🏻👍🏻😁 congrats on your recovery and your progress. This is the first vid of yours I have watched but will be watching more. I subbed and look forward to watching your progress. Biggest hugs to you! 🤗🤗🤗🤗 Serin

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much for your kind, support comment. I'm glad you've got something to look forward to. I never thought it could get here. I never thought I could stay sober. And I never thought I'd be happier sober. I was wrong. My life is so much better today than a month ago. 😊💛✌

[@3PICTUREPERFECT]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about recovery! I'm 8 days clean because of you and I'm still pushing forward knowing it will get better. God bless you and your amazing kind and caring heart, you're helping alot of people, including myself. Thank you so much, ♡ Candy ~

[@TheseFourWalls]

I'm so proud of you, Candy! 8 days is amazing! Congratulations. I'm so grateful that you've found my videos helpful. I'm also excited for you, because soon you'll start feeling that genuine happiness again. Stay strong, and just stay sober one day at a time. Soon you'll be celebrating your one month sober anniversary, too! And I'll be here, cheering you on. ☺✌🌻💜 Best wishes and warmest thoughts. Thank you for your kind, supportive comments. You've warmed my heart.

[@3PICTUREPERFECT]

Thank you so much for being my support system. I truly look up to you so much and look forward to continuing this sobriety, thanks to you! Big hugs from me to you, ❤️Candy

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@3PICTUREPERFECT You are more than welcome. I am humbled by your comment, and so, so proud of you. You have all my support and encouragement. Remember to be proud of yourself. It took me awhile to start feeling pride, but it's important to remember you're making amazing strides in the right direction. ☺💜 If you need to reach me, my email is [e-mail] Feel free to reach out if you need to talk. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@3PICTUREPERFECT Hey Candy, how have you been doing? Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat. [e-mail] 💛✌

[@Laynasmuse]

❤️ man I really needed to hear this. I’ve got myself down to 20mg from 120 (but I was taking all my takehomes up to where I was taking 120mg 2 times a day after being on it since 2001) over a week so I know it’s to fast but I’m going to try my damnedest not to walk into my clinic and just jump off from here. I can see you have such a beautiful soul 💕

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much, for such a kind, supportive comment. That's great, that you've worked yourself down to 20 mgs from 120mgs. That's amazing progress! You're well on your way. Remember to be proud of every accomplishment. And also know that I'm very proud of you! 💜🌻✌

[@dp8708]

Good luck Michelle - I just jumped off at 20mg.

[@kickinaddiction]

Brother, thanks for the shout out! I’m glad you made a video about this I really feel like it’s so hard to tell through video how much a someone’s happiness level has changed, but you clarified it. Makes me excited for the future! Heck even just not having to think about taking my next dose of suboxone would raise me up a solid point or two. I am so sick of spending my entire day thinking about it... major energy vampire.

[@TheseFourWalls]

I can't wait to see your happiness and zest for life go up several points. You've got this, man! You've done a good job tapering yourself down so low that I have lots of confidence in you. Soon, your energy will be spent how YOU wanna spend it... But don't get frustrated with yourself. And remember Suboxone is better than opiates, so if you feel yourself slipping, remember there's no shame in the maintaince game. 😊✌😊

[@CMoore8539]

Great Topic! I totally hate opiates now. I am so thankful that I feel that way about those things too.😊 I thought that this day would Never come. I was very close to death. It was pure evil how the pharmaceutical companies put them out there and lied to the public. Maybe we should all sue them. Take good care of you, Jason. I’m so thankful that you made it!!!😊💙✌️ P.S. In Only America, 72,000 people Died last year of an overdose. This is a global problem, and it’s growing, unfortunately.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank god we made it out alive, Cindy. So many others didn't, and those are heartbreaking statistics. Thanks for showing me continued kindness and support. 💛😊

[@pornstarlivesmatter3319]

don't get mad cindy but there are many people who opiate have saved their lives including mine. I was ready to commit suicide because of the pain i was in and after 3 years of losing everything i had because i could barely work let alone walk to the bathroom because of the pain i finally got on some meds. I have run into people who saw me decline and are amazed how i look like a new person all because of pain meds. This war on opioids has screwed those of us who need them and the laws which lowered our doses has taken me a step back. I honestly feel people need to be held responsible for what they choose to do and take and just like buying a new car do research on everything you put into your body. For those who blame a doctor or a pharm. company for their addiction is not fair to those of us suffering from a disease with no cure and those with cancer are also being told they have to get a lower dose.

[@CMoore8539]

erin rossi I Totally Understand your point of view, Erin. I believe that Everyone who has a chronic disease should be allowed to take Opiates, provided that they can take them as prescribed. I don’t agree with cutting people with chronic pain and disease off or down from their dosage. That’s another thing Wrong with the system. I’m very sorry that you are going through this. Please take good care of you. My Love and Prayers for you.♥️

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@pornstarlivesmatter3319 Addiction is a disease, with no cure. So I understand where you're coming from. But doctors are absolutely the problem, as well as the addict. That's why so many doctors have lost their jobs, and are now in jail. Many doctors are great doctors, who help people like you get the medication you need. But just as many doctors are not good, and their pockets get fatter off people like us. I'm glad opiates are so helpful to you. They have made life worth living for my mother as well. But don't come over here on my recovery channel and talk about how doctors aren't the problem, with the opioid epidemic, but insinuate that addicts are. My doctor was my drug dealer. (I hope this doesn't upset you, and I'm truly happy that you have a better quality of life now.)

[@rockinroberta9925]

Love u J!:)

[@TheseFourWalls]

Love you too, my beautiful friend. I'm proud of us, heading into a new year with our heads in the game. We're gonna make it! 2019, here we come! I hope the new year brings you all the happiness, health, and kindness that you deserve. You're a fabulous warrior, and I'm continuously inspired by you. 💛😊✌

[@RifleEyez]

I feel like I was wayyy more numb to stuff than I perceived I was when I used. I thought I was taking them still to feel normal, but it wasn't ''normal'', it just meant feeling ''not like shit and with hopefully a short buzz''. It was actually making me far from normal, not least because my life had become an insane and draining game of ''I need to get stuff today so I'm good tomorrow'', every single day, which at times could consume a couple hours of my day when I should have been doing other things, and I barely bought a thing for myself. Everything was based around them, every event, holiday, when I'd eat because they hit more on an empty stomach, when I'd go out because I didn't wanna kill the high, when I'd go to bed because I didn't wanna sleep and waste the feeling, everything. It drained so much physical and mental energy. It had been so long since I spent time sober it eventually amounted to almost a 1/5th of my life on Opiates alone. The thing is I was incredibly functional somehow - worked, married, bought a house, but I still missed out on a lot because of it, like I was just along for the ride only. I honestly I feel like I stunted my emotional growth in that period by being so numb through all of it. After being off them 26 days now after daily use for over half a decade...I have noticed a big change. I end up constantly cleaning the house, making the bed, just little things, and actually doing things on days off, not waiting and planning my day around drugs. I definitely take way more pleasure in the small things already that I avoided as much as possible on Opiates, and the feeling of stuff like not having to spend 2 hours after a 12 hour shift before even getting home, frantically trying to get something or you'd end up in withdrawal at work, makes such a huge difference.

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you for sharing. I identify with so much of your story, and I appreciate you taking the time to share it with everyone. Together, we're stronger. Fight on, warrior. ✌☺🙏

[@CMoore8539]

Jason, could you recommend some type of therapy that helps with ptsd? Some thing that I could learn on my own. You are not alone with these issues. Please know that.💛

[@TheseFourWalls]

It's tricky to do therapy for ptsd on your own, unfortunately. Because you really need someone to work you thru unprocessed trauma, and then you can start feeling relief. We are in this together, and it's a tough battle. We all need help to make it through. 💛💛

[@CMoore8539]

These Four Walls Thank You, Jason! I’m going into intensive counseling again. Hopefully that will start helping me. I’ve been through it before but I was numb, so I didn’t open up. I suffer from ptsd, depression/anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder, along with a few more. That’s why I wanted you to know that you really aren’t alone. Personally I believe that all of us in Recovery, suffer from ptsd. I’ve studied it extensively. So in Recovery, we have to learn how to face these things. It’s very challenging, especially after being numb for years. I believe that mindfulness training can be helpful. Happy New Year to you! May 2019 Bring Us Many More Victories!!!😊💙✌️

[@kerryirving2949]

Cindy Moore I’m also on the waiting list for abuse councilling, I had 1 or 2 sessions before, then after them they said I wasn’t stable enough to continue. I wish you all the VERY BEST with your councilling! ❤️💫🍀

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@CMoore8539 Thank you, Cindy. 💛😊 I will keep you in my thoughts, and pray that the intensive therapy will help you. While working thru my own trauma, I was numb at first, too. My brain liked to check out on me, and dissociate. Remember to utilize grounding techniques while doing trauma therapy. It will help keep you in the present moment, so that you can more successfully work thru your trauma. It's a struggle, but relief is out there. I wish you all the best, my friend. Here's hoping 2019 brings us health and joy! 😊💛😊

[@CMoore8539]

These Four Walls Thank You, Jason.💛

[@user-ln2wu2ri2p]

fire shirt love Bjork

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thanks! Yeah, she's friggin increadable. ✌🙏

[@askledhead]

Thank you for sharing. Pain meds unfortunately are good for emotional pain . It just puts off the inevitable , they will eventually have to be dealt with . Hope you are well ✌

[@TheseFourWalls]

Thank you so much for your comment. And I agree with you, pain meds worked great, for a long time, at masking that emotional pain. But it was all still there, inside. Today, at over 100 days sober, I find I'm much better equipped at dealing with my mental health, and I'm so grateful for that. Thanks for your support. ✌😊

[@jaimereynolds258]

200 subbies! 🙂

[@TheseFourWalls]

I just noticed this! I'm so grateful for all the incredible support. Thank you! 💜😊

[@3PICTUREPERFECT]

Thanks so much for your time and support. Also, thanks for the email that is the best gift anyone could ever ask for. We’ll be in touch. ❤️Candy

[@TheseFourWalls]

I look forward to hearing from you. And remember, I'm proud of you! ☺✌💜🌻

[@TheseFourWalls]

@3PICTUREPERFECT I'm thinking of you today, Candy, and hope you're doing really well. 💛

[@chelseacarter3374]

They always made me feel liked by people, outgoing, even pretty. I've never loved or even liked myself, I'm an introvert. But when I took it, I felt liked and loved. It was courage in pill form to go out and talk to people, it was like an antidepressant. I just want to know how to just be happy. Thank you for your video☺

[@TheseFourWalls]

Yes, pain pills are great at covering up emotional pain, that's where my addiction really took form. I have had to slowly begin learning how to accept myself again... It's a really difficult process, but finding understanding and support with others is so beneficial. 😊✌ Thank you for commenting, and identifying.

[@chelseacarter3374]

I've recently had wrist surgery, and I was scared knowing I had to take pain medication! Today is my first day without it, and I'm scared again. I feel uncomfortable, alone, and lost. Anything that has helped you get through it, would be greatly appreciated!😃 Have an amazing day!😃

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@chelseacarter3374 The first few days of being out is never easy. So, I truly sympathize with what you're going thru right now. Keeping your mind distracted is the most important thing, when withdrawaling. I kept my mind busy by talking to others going thru similar struggles, watching Netflix and KZbin, listening to music and ASMR, and stuff like that. It's also important to eat well (things with B vitamins) broccoli, blueberries, salmon. A lot of these foods help boost our dopamine levels, naturally. Drink lots of water, to help detoxify your system. And try to move around as much as possible, even tho I know you don't feel like it right now. Meditation helps, too. Get out in the sun whenever possible as well. I know a lot of these things aren't immediate fixes, but I promise they do start helping. It does get easier. Take it one minute at a time, till you can take it one day at a time. If you need to talk or vent, feel free to email me. Zennorjd82@gmail :)

[@chelseacarter3374]

Thank you for responding! I feel depressed right now, and being highly sensitive, it makes my symptoms feel magnified.😑 I've been trying GABA, and I take daily vitamins, as well. Thank you for all that you do, it really does help to know there is someone out there that uderstands.

[@TheseFourWalls]

You're more than welcome, my friend. I understand it's a tough time right now. When you say you're taking Gaba, do you mean the supplement, or Gabapentin? (prescription) The only reason I ask is because if you're taking Gabapentin, you can talk to your doctor about upping your dose temporarily. Taking extra Gabapentin, especially while going thru withdrawal, was beneficial for me.

[@owlseyetarot]

Hi

[@seekingfreedom9020]

Macaulay Culkin? Lol

[@TheseFourWalls]

Lol, yeah, I've been hearing that my whole life. 😊✌

[@seekingfreedom9020]

@@TheseFourWalls I'm glad your doing good man

[@TheseFourWalls]

@@seekingfreedom9020 Thank you so much my friend, for the kindness and support!

[@owlseyetarotprivatereading6367]

Hi