Does the Gaydar Actually Exist? How Do You Identify a Gay Person? 🌈 | S3 E4

This week we speak about 'the gaydar', does it exist? How do you tell a gay person from a straight person? Did you know that 'gay voice' is an actual thing? We also go through some gay languages from around the world!
Welcome to Season 3 of Happy Healthy Homo hosted by Keegan Hirst and Joel Wood. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, it'd really help us out: podcasts.apple...
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⭐ Sign up to our newsletter: www.happyhealthyhomo.com ⭐ Get extra perks on Patreon: www.patreon.com/happyhealthyhomo ⭐ Get a personalised video: www.cameo.com/keeganandjoel

[@Nflxorganic]

I tried signing up for the newsletter but your IP address from the link doesn’t have a website attached.

[@PepperSprayed-bc5de]

"Please, do not respond to any more videos from this dreary and disingenuous duo. They (try to, at least) sell themselves as being "posh" and other assorted buggery. The reality is that both of them are quite rude and condescending (most likely as a cover for their own feelings of personal and cultural insecurity and envy). masking whatever appreciation of cultural/national difference with a veneer of faux-superiority. It's old-hat. It's tired and quite tedious. The first time I saw one of their videos, I actually thought it was a parody of reaction videos, a satire, like something from The Onion. In one video, they actually went to the City of Philadelphia during the height of COVID, in lockdown, during a blizzard, no less, and ordered a Philly cheesesteak sandwich from a shop that was barely seeing any business (remember, this was during the pandemic, replete with supply-chain issues and worse), and the two of them sat outside, in the freezing cold, sneering at how the sandwich just wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I kid you not. They then walked around downtown Philly, during that time when travel bans were just beginning to lift and tsk-tsk'ed over how the streets were virtually empty of people. Again, I kid thee not. 'This is a joke,' I thought. 'It has to be....' Nope. These two mental giants are sincere . . . (Or so they claim.) Ignorance wedded to arrogance pecked in eye-liner. Probably due to the negative responses to and subscriber-flight from their channel, they changed the name from "Joel and Lia" to "These Two Brits." Well, these two Brits AIN'T worth anyone's time. Unlike your channel, which is a delight and appreciative of the surprises and twists of another nation/culture, These Two Brits are a barrel of sh*t. (They are as phony as their concealer-smeared faces.) Keep up the nice work."

[@m.deverdi2800]

sorry I've taken so long to respond. Whenever I've gone to the city (S.F.) and I meet guys here and there, they will always say that I'm not from the city because I don't have the gay accent. I also live in a redwood forest one hour from S.F. and have worked in education for 25 years. My students never guessed I was gay. I didn't want to be known as "the gay teacher." Thet have enough distractions nowadays.

[@DaltonPorter]

Can I just say how much I love the healthy disagreements, the healthy inquiry, the learning new things together, the inquisition to paralleling our gay experiences to those in less progressed countries! You boys are both such amazing role models for me, and I love seeing you both growing and learning together! Total goals. Please keep these research-based episodes up! Love to you both

[@neerg63]

I'm a gay man with a linguistics degree. I frequently find that other people I meet who have majored or minored in linguistics turn out to be gay. I have loved your channel and podcast since the day I found it, but today was the best! You guys make me feel sane and normal. Thanks for doing what you do!

[@sunnykawatachi]

Gay linguists are the best ❤

[@pajarothebird9842]

Ditto. Cheers~

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

Women are better at verbal expression, and in one of those studies where they compare gay male brains to straight females they noted that men are also good at verbal expression.

[@patrickgreene2062]

I, too, am a gay man with a linguistics degree

[@aaronying4989]

Hah why are so many gays in linguistics? I remember in college so many from our gay group majored in that 😅 lool

[@muthamucka9009]

I just love the fact that a big rugby player like Keegan knows so much about Julian & Saaaaandy! For younger viewers, Kenneth Williams was far more than Carry On films, and his Diaries are amazing detailed snapshots of gay life in the 50's/60's in particular - for the closeted side of things. Hilarious and truly sad in equal measure. He was a highly intelligent man, very self learnt and made his own uniquely original path in life, coming from a very humble background. Cheers chuck!

[@PatricenotPatrick]

Spanish men tend to be flamboyant? Thats rich coming from Miss Joel 💅🏼

[@Filthycasual17]

He's not wrong lol as far as Latino gays. They tent to be very flamboyant

[@danielhelton4814]

I believe Gaydar is a thing because of the fear of being caught. Becoming a teenager in the late 80’s in the US I still felt fear of physical violence about being found out to be gay. Using Gaydar was a safer way to find the other members of our community. Unfortunately, it was mostly used for finding anonymous sexual encounters as a “gay relationship” was not seen as a viable option in general. There was still a social bias that being gay meant you weren’t capable of romantic love and you were only a sex pervert. In fact, I remember having that very conversation with many of my friends when I would “come out” to them. They just didn’t believe me when I said I wanted a romantic relationship and normal life, just like they have as straight people, but with another man. I had many actually call me a liar and become angry that I would suggest that being gay was anything other than a sexual perversion. I’m glad that as a society we have come a long way in accepting that who we love is who we love ❤

[@ohioan2903]

Correct == one had to be quite cautious before USA laws protecting gay rights and the right for gay marriages and for being gay in the USA military were put into place. That is why GAY RADAR was very important for the gays' safety. And gay romantic relationships were almost nonexistent for all these years because of society's condemnations for/on gays.

[@joecaprani5772]

You're clearly confusing the app with actual gaydar. The app was specifically named Gaydar because people already spoke about having an innate sense of being able to spot another gay person and would say "it's like having your own personal radar for gays", which then became a portmanteau word, gay+radar becomes gaydar. The developers were obviously just capitalising on terminology that already existed.

[@Krishicher]

Perhaps this fits better in cruising, but I’ve found that eye contact, slightly longer gazing, and the look back thing are key to my gaydar.

[@ohioan2903]

Absolutely correct. Many sex experts say if a male stares/glances at another male for more than a minute == chances are very high that the eye receiving male is gay if he holds eye contact for a long time also. Straight males quickly look away from such eye contact because they have no attraction to the staring gay male.

[@ohioan2903]

Absolutely correct. Straight males almost always AVERT their eyes from other males because there is no attraction for males -- primarily it will be the females who will be the straight males' attraction and eye staring/glancing/interlocking.

[@lee9650]

5:55 Joel: "my favorite thing about being gay".... that's a sentence I hope I can one day utter... Currently I don't know about being "gay in the wild" I feel more like a gay in captivity, trapped. Whether that has more to do with my miserable life in General rather than the fact i'm gay, i'm not sure. Ironic how the word gay originally meant happy... Is it just me who finds life horrible or is it a common thing?

[@romaneros4583]

Accepting yourself is a huge and vastly important step. I wish you well with that.

[@TCt83067695]

​@@romaneros4583you've just assumed that it's his sexuality that leads him to have a horrible life. It's always interesting how we make queer ppl one dimensional

[@junsu21]

Hugs brother. It will get better but yes, we all have to first love and accept ourselves and the fact that we were born this way and had no choice in the matter

[@charlesprice925]

In my prime, my gaydar was so good that I could tell who, to what extent, and where he was on the scale, whether he was aware of it or not. I could tell who was hiding and who was in turmoil over it. And I always tried to meet him mentally where he was, to reassure him, there are many more of us than he knew of, and we were alright. And there were the ones in which there was a spontaneous, unspoken, dialog of a thousand words, in a slit second, that triggered an immediate sexual response. Letting me know. I could not hide from it, or say it wasn't natural. And that there are many more of us than the established norm wants to acknowledge, or they wouldn't have any control at all. That's why they've gotten on the bandwagon, and want to stomp us into some limited stereotype of simple sexual responses, which mimic women. Which we are not. I personally feel, all men will interact physically with each other, given the circumstances, from a common male bond. But we also relate on a much greater scale, in many diverse ways, on most everything, from our instinctually connection. Because we're one species. The species of man. And I'm glad to be among you.

[@ohioan2903]

When boys were children, they grativated naturally to playing and hanging out with only other boys. So, there must be an inborn male tendency to bond with other males. Look at all the camaraderie males have all their lives when they get together -- in sports, camping, fishing, hunting, fraternities, golfing, clubs, etc.

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

Wearing socks in the foreground. I don't know if that is a good look. My straightdar is going off on that.

[@someone7409]

DL

[@joecaprani5772]

Lol

[@mattconcertlife]

I’ve been watching a lot of y’alls videos lately and I’ve agreed with just about everything each of you have said. It’s really nice to be reassured in your opinions and not feel like you’re crazy. ❤

[@lianacat]

Excellent content gentlemen, and I particularly enjoyed the tangent into the “studies”. More is more for me. Thank you. 😁

[@richardbuckwalter8571]

You guys had me laughing as usual! Your banter back and forth at times, is amusing!! The new setup in your home is working great!! The audio is great and the backdrop is beautiful!! Who needs a professional studio? Certainly not you guys!! And as you, I'm all about saving money!! The subject of Gaydar is really interesting. I have an attraction to masculine gay guys, and I find them to be the hardest to pinpoint, unfortunately. Does anyone else have this struggle? Any tips would be appreciated!! Thanks.

[@davidraezer5937]

I find that I have zero gaydar in the wild. Joel I saw you first in I believe was a TikTok video where you were visiting America and talking about your Jeep rental car. You had me in stitches. I love your English accent and when I saw your content I had a hunch you Might be gay but I just figured it was due to the accent.

[@yettamarmelstein5095]

The home studio is MUCH better than the studio you were paying for!! The sound quality is EXCELLENT!! One "Note": Please angle the chairs slightly more to the camera. Keegan's chair is facing the camera pretty well but Joel's is facing more towards Keegan instead of the camera. We all realize you are both speaking to one another. However, we (your audience) would like to feel as though we are sitting opposite you and it's like we are in on the conversation. This not meant to be a criticism. Just a helpful "note" as they say in Hollywood. 😁 ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@AprilInSpringChannel]

Super agree!!!! 🥰😎

[@jacksonholer]

Agreed and well said, I would so much prefer being part of the conversation a little more. Turning Joel's seat toward the audience would make a world of difference. Love the content of your show btw.

[@randychampion184]

same limd of approach used in sitcoms where the actors angle their bodies mostly towards the camera.

[@ajaxon319pldunbar]

Keegan and HRH Prince Joel, you provided yet another engaging, humorous and informative podcast...and in the new studio in your home! By the way, the sound and aesthetics are great. Seeing Keegan sitting there in his socks evoked a very comfortable feeling as if I had been invited over as a friend to your home. I enjoyed the topic of gaydar. I thought mine was finely tuned...until I moved to France. Like you mentioned in the podcast, gaydar does appear to be cultural, regional and generational. Gaydar needs to be calibrated and recalibrated depending on where and when you are. French guys that appeared to me, a 27-year-old Black American having been recently graduated from an Ivy League university, as what we might say were Los Angeles/West Hollywood kind of gay twinks were unabashedly not gay, sleeping with all the women at work and around town. My French was good but not good enough to pick up on the nuances of codespeak a lot of the time. However, I did notice that older French gay men would really emphasize the phrase, "n'est-ce pas?", which is used at the end of a sentence to convey, "Isn't that so?" or "Isn't that right?", by extending the pronunciation just a bit longer than needed. Having gone back to France in my 40's, the use of "n'est-ce pas?" seemed relegated as old fashioned and wasn't really used by the younger generations. As such, using "n'est-ce pas?" today in France seems like codespeak, as an easy way to pick out "Friends of Dorothy" for an older generation.

[@michaeljamesstewart1000]

Another really great podcast. You are both an absolute joy to watch......down-to-earth, good sense of humour, are knowledgeable, and have great interaction. Chimo

[@candidolopez1131]

The video looks perfect and the sound is very clear - just like the other studio. Great job boys...

[@hjmadsen]

Guys, thanks so much for another great episode and for putting yourself out there - even if you were a bit on a limb on the other cultures 😂😂 That’s why it’s such a fascinating topic!! Love from your fellow North Europeans in the Nordics, Benelux, Germany and Ireland (continental Europe is such a UK thing to say lol)

[@angelpajarillo]

The biggest the away from your content is the obvious respect you two have for each other and lightness of touch and the way you both LISTEN. to each other ❤

[@Thorn99855]

Wow. I started watching One Day, but now I have to finish it. Thanks guys. I will now. Edit: On the topic of expressing your gayness. I, oddly, actually have been a bit "swishier" of late and instead of being worried about negative backlash, I think it really drives the point home to both family and people in general: "Yes, I am gay. It is not going anywhere." And then they oddly seem more comfortable. Like "Confirmed. Got it. Lingering ideas about making you straight packed up and put away."

[@R.C.79]

Hello Keegan and Joel, I was watching your podcast and I don't know if y'all have thought about this for merch ideas.... Have you thought about creating Happy Healthy Homo designer socks? Great show!

[@m.deverdi2800]

Love you guys. The new set works even better for you two because your at home and at ease. BTW, here in CA, we say someone's gay if "he has a gay accent."

[@m.deverdi2800]

@Tell.egramme_happyhealthyhomo OK but I'm probably not in your demographic. I'm 72 yrs old gay man , a cancer patient, and single. I live one hours drive from San Francisco. Matt

[@Timoofthee]

You guys are a breath of fresh air. Bless you.

[@ChristianPerez-gc2hm]

Got checked out walking into the supermarket as I was checking out the other guy. The tiny thrills of married life.

[@lee9650]

How do you know if someone is checking you out? I always think they could be looking at me because they think i'm strange.... Or they could just be "people watching"?

[@julietarpey4216]

Great episode boys ❤. Sound was amazing and you both somehow seemed even more relaxed - always love the bants ❤❤❤

[@gegemec]

In the 60s in Australia, we identified with a number of things. A bit of Polari, slightly colourful or white socks, rubbing the forefinger up the side of the nose during conversation, passing someone and stopping to look in a window and turning back, when shaking hands, using the thumb in a light way as it touches the top of the other hand, holding hands a second too long ... so many things come to my mind. Sadly an effect of all this meant that I became even more paranoid about the way I behaved in public for fear of being "found out". The aim was that the signals had to be secret enough not to attract but commonly understood enough by other gay men. I also remember my mother screaming at me for using the word "gorgeous", which later on became a habit I loved to show my nature to others. Sorry, I am raving, but its good to remember.

[@candidolopez1131]

Tried to sign up for newsletter but site not allowing me....

[@stephenthorn9040]

I believe in gaydar, but I have been mistaken multiple times. I’ve initially thought some straight men were gay, and vice versa, where I’ve initially thought some gay men were straight. When I lived in San Jose, CA and San Diego, CA, I took mass transit quite often. And there were a few cases where certain attractive straight men were sitting next to me, and if they struck up a conversation, I would sometimes flirt with them. And these men would just laugh it off. However, when I moved here to Pensacola, FL, which borders Alabama, is part of the Deep South Bible Belt, I found out very quickly that native Pensacolian local straight men would react completely differently. They get very defensive and one time a nice looking construction worker, his friend had to hold him from him physically attack me. And I agree that the couple times Keegan, jokingly, has acted very camp/effeminate, I thought it was super-cute and very attractive!

[@ohioan2903]

Differences between BLUE states (e,g, California) and RED states (e.g. Alabama, Tennessee, Florida). Florida metro areas such as Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando, etc., though have very large gay populations and folks seem to be quite tolerant in those areas. Even though Ohio is now a RED state, gays are widely accepted in Ohio.

[@dawnevans157]

Keegan are you comfy in that chair lol

[@NoWayMrBobby]

Hello guys, nice to listen to your podcast on some very interesting subjects. Keegan mentions Julian (Hugh Paddick) and Sandy (Kenneth Williams). They were in a show called “Round the Horne” the straight man you mentioned was Kenneth Horne (His show). I still find them fun. If you play it to younger guys, they often find it funny. The show ran from 1965 to 1968 when, as it happens, homosexuality was decriminalized. The sound was OK, aside from small things like on Keegan's mic it was a little too loud compared to your Joel's. It was easy to understand both of you, so that was all that mattered. You are certainly getting a sub from me, and I look forward to watching your next video.

[@randychampion184]

Coming from a non ritish person, what accent is Keegan speaking in, his pronounciation of words is very interesting

[@pablodelnorte9746]

He's from Yorkshire. Nice accent.

[@lee9650]

I wish there was a "gaydar" that tells you whether or not the other guy likes you.. lol I feel like when I like a guy I can come of really shy, but a sort of abnoxious and standoffish shy. It's a huge problem. There is this guy I like who is a 10 i'm a 5 on a good day, i'm sure he must think i'm the most weirdest, arrogant person ever because I just can't bring myself to look him in the eyes and have a conversation with him, it's so intimidating. Like whenever he approaches I could literally faint. And I find myself hiding behind others loud voices when he's around in an attempt not to make a fool of myself. Is there something wrong with me?

[@dubon9999]

There are many ways to know when a man is Gay or when a woman is lesbian. The important is help other Gay men and lesbian women to know them better and accept themselves in the way they are. Majority of the people is straight, so there are things very common in straight men and women; and very particular things in Gay men and lesbian women that will let us know when they are different.

[@hosed2]

Like what? can u set some examples

[@lee9650]

Care to enlighten us?

[@ItsCoreyLynxxYall]

@@hosed2 Some gays give off an energy and can't hide it. Within the community there are many different variations of personalities and experiences. Even among just the gay male section. At the same time there are some gay men who are good at either hiding or just don't want to bother with it and you wouldn't know unless they told you.

[@ohioan2903]

Males interlocking their eyes for more than a minute would be good indications they are gay. Straight males would quickly avert their

[@MichaelLopez-f5u]

No .. sometimes is dangerous .. i think

[@marcusgomez3447]

Gay or European is a song from legally blonde musical 😊

[@Myplop]

Gay or American I find is more accurate

[@janmichaels8550]

Love to listen to you guys you’re both very interesting. Thank you for taking us on your journey. J

[@Thorn99855]

I love masculinity and I am so tired of people saying it is toxic. I think people have "toxic masculinity" mixed up with "toxicity" in general. Putting on an emotionless facade, or being combative isn't something that only masculine men do. And I also like some of the things that I relate to as masculine that others may not like, but personally I relish them. Such as machismo. I guess this would be showing off for people, or being super confident. I dig it. This comes in so many different flavors. I think it is kind of a masculine trait. But butch lesbians do it too. And people who are just confident in general and have a good mix of energies. I love it. To each their own. If it isn't for you (you being anyone reading this who disagrees- this isn't pointed at the hosts), don't go around trashing things that many of us love. And we will repay you that same favor.

[@jimbearone]

My ‘sense’ about people is about 70% accurate.

[@nathanroboticist9563]

So much is culture. I was stared at aggressively from a man who was helping me get games to my vehicle after a LGBTQIA boardgame meetup. He just staired at me. Only the 2 of us in the parking lot. I had no idea what he wanted and when I did not respond to what I did not know was going on (till later), he got offended and later shunned me. Why he could not just talk and say something is beyond my understanding. Especially as we were just in a gay boardgame play setting. So his culture and knowledge of things was one thing. Me...I have something to say to someone, I go and say "Howdy, I am ....." and off goes the the conversation or not. There is no guide to gay interaction for those who did not grow up near around other gay folks.

[@garywilson9640]

Keegan can you move Joel's mic about 3 feet lower ? 😊

[@wgbltd]

Truly, truly enjoyed the Podcast! However, I found it difficult to center my focus on you two great guys with the background being so busy. Of course, being an old nosey queen (73) and an interior designer I was distracted by the photos, positioning of books, the accessories, is the dog by Koons! Lol…sorry can’t help it! You both are so articulate, handsome and funny I would prefer the focus to be on you and not the tchotchke…

[@Manx36]

If you are lgbtq, a woman or a poc, you know you have a target on your back at all times, if you don’t, I don’t know where you exist. I remember as a kid, my mother telling me that there were people in the world who would judge my value solely based on my skin color and I remember thinking, I’m beige, who doesn’t like beige 🤷🏽‍♂️. Not long after that I had an experience where someone made it very clear that they didn’t like me and why and I understood, my mom was right. There is something woven into the fabric of our society where making the minority (whoever they may be) feel like they are different and less than, is the thing to do. Being a man of color and gay, that’s just the worse as far as passing when you are younger. I remember playing football with my cousins just so none of them would think I was soft, weak, I frigging hate sports but I did it to pass. I had a friend figure out I was gay, he asked me if I was gay and I asked why he would think I was and he said you speak very well and I thought wtf have I been doing, I dated women, slept with women, always presented as masculine and my damn grammar gave me up 😳. I pretty much stopped trying to project that day, I’m me and that’s the only person I can be. I never think I’m a gay man, I’m a man who happens to be gay. Touching on Brit men coming off as gay, I met a guy who at the time had a tv show here and I swore he was gay, not because of behavior or anything physical. He to me projected as a really good looking British guy and we’d speak and he was very flirty and I swore he was putting out vibes like something could go down and then out of nowhere he tells me he’s engaged…to a woman…whattttt 😳. It was so weird because even friends were saying to me, when you gonna close that deal, well apparently never, so yes Brit’s are tricky to gaydar.

[@joecaprani5772]

"I'm a man who happens to be gay" - THIS!! Me too. It's just one aspect of what makes me the person I am. I work, I pay my mortgage, I love food, film, music, photography and many other things.... none of these are part of me being gay, I'm not just one thing. I wish some people could move beyond that. It's a bit like coming out to someone, they just have a new label to stick on you, but you're exactly the same person you were before you gave them that label to use about you.

[@ChrisBaird-w2l]

As a 73 year old man I agree with the vast majority of your observations. Gaydar is a thing. At least for me. I came out in university in the late 1960's and "the eyes across a crowded room" sealed the deal in my fraternity. I went on to spend 39 years in the Air Force. Mostly repressed but there was still that gaydar that served me well. Plenty of encounters and some long term friendships to cherish.

[@joshuavickers2506]

I'm a gay guy also from the UK (england). I'm 28 and came out at 17/18. don't want to sound pretentious but I think living in the UK i pretty much feel comfortable wherever I am- with the occasional exception (for example, I wouldn't want to walk around a council estate at night waving around a pride flag)....which makes me wonder, has it almost sort of died a death now? Like I remember someone saying "trans is the new gay and gay is the new black" and I thought it was pretty accurate...I don't know if I'm making sense or not. But yeah that's my two cents

[@chrisk5651]

Except for mentioning the vocal fry (& having Joel demonstrating it) you guys didn’t really touch on the aspect of gay voice really - there was a documentary called “Do I Sound Gay?” which discusses that issue completely!

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

I walk fast a lot of the time. I had some lunatic person who I offended once. Then on two occasions he drove up onto the sidewalk in his car trying to menace me when I was riding a bicycle. I came from a rural town and people raise their kids like the farmers raise their cows or other farm animals - to breed. The more isolated your town the more intense that is because humans want to multiple and have the security of numbers. You just get caught in the crosshairs if you are gay.

[@ARpirateant]

Some guys show it through their voice, dress, movements etc. I do believe in gay face as well. Some guys just have a face were you just say “that man is gay 💅🏼 “

[@Preppie-thirty]

I know this subject is tongue and cheeck but for me its far more important to be your authentic or genuine self than to be overly or discreetly gay.

[@numtwelve12]

I love the convo here guys. This is great. I agree completely with the thought on masculinity. I think that’s the world though. Everything in moderation is fine. It’s when you go overboard with anything that you have issues. Too much sugar or fat, possible weight issues. Same with masculinity

[@miamianz]

i used to be more out when i was younger now i hide it more especially at work because of the ostracizing regardless if its accepted locally or not. i get hit on by women all the damn time but we are taught to accept it as men when we grow up. and that may be part of why i hide my identity to a certain extent i certainly don't go around like im a pride parade. but defiantly have a switch mode but im more aware of my surroundings. i dont konw about gaydar anymore at this day and age. i used to be a pinky ring was the low key signal or a bandana hanging in the back pocket.

[@romaneros4583]

Same, I get hit on by women and I have guys who've tried to get me to flirt with certain women.

[@falkon26]

The actor from Some Mothers Do Have Them - Micheal Crawford was not acting Gay,he is Straight,his acting character was an innocent and child like style.

[@joecaprani5772]

Spot on.

[@williambender6711]

The Hanki code was used too

[@michaeljunak-q2d]

I love this episode. We need these kinds of conversations

[@richleaves]

I went to school with two twins who had very gay mannerisms; I thought they were both gay. One of them came out as gay and the other got married to a woman and had a bunch of kids.

[@Liya_Nyengane]

On a point. Just because 1 twin got married to a woman and had a bunch of kids, does not necessarily mean they aren't gay or atleast bisexual. Men who hide or suppress this aspect of themselves is actually more common that you'd think, by the way. But yes, I hear you.

[@ohioan2903]

Yes, the numbers of closeted married gays are surprisingly very high. I have read and heard many times that some gay male escorts' clients are mostly married men who have gay sexual desires but feel they need to stay in hiding their true sexual desires.

[@rainmanjr2007]

When it comes to nature vs nurture I think it's a pointless distinction. What I learned (nurtured) before age five is as much part of me as if it were nature. I can question it but it is intrinsic to my brain. I learned about freedom by nurture. Should I forget about it?

[@howardmarren3199]

Watching from Fort Lauderdale. MY gaydar is okay, not great. I can usually tell by the other person's eyes. There are other tells: walk, use of language, clothes. But the eyes seem to be the goive away. By the way, I enjoy watching and listening to you very much. Thanks.

[@ohioan2903]

Absolutely correct. It has been said and written thousands of time that if a male stares/glances at another male's eyes for a minute or more == he is gay.

[@howardmarren3199]

@Tell.egramme_happyhealthyhomo Thanks for your reply to my comment. I am not on any social media, so the only way I can follow you is on KZbin. My best friend lives in Yorkshire (Pontefract, to be precise). I told her to be on the lookout for you in Leeds, but, so far, she hasn't spotted you. As I said, I can usually tell by the eyes and how and where the person focuses. It's difficult to explain it in more detail. It's a feeling. By the way, I love the way you interact with each other. Together, you remind me of my husband and me. We were together for 33 years, seven of which we were married. He died quite suddenly right in front of me three years ago. It's been tough going, but I have great friends, many of whom live in the UK, and they and therapy got me through it. Anyway, I didn't mean to get maudlin. Keep up the good work and continue to love each other. FYI: I believe a successful relationship lives or dies on respect for the other one. Without respect (and honesty and love, of course), you have nothing. I am finished now.

[@theresamontoya4065]

Keegan here in America we would say meat and potato.

[@dubon9999]

Gay men of all the world together forever 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌎🌍🌏🌎🌍🌏

[@robertschwartz4810]

I don't have the best gaydar, especially these days when men take much better care of themselves. However, my tells are excellent posture, well fitting clothes, and a general heightened awareness of their surroundings. This is not to say that there aren't plenty of gay schleppers out there, too. One thing about which I may be wrong, is that people who boast about their excellent gaydar are mostly victims of wishful thinking.

[@ItsCoreyLynxxYall]

Sometimes you can tell, sometimes you can't. From my experience most gay men have key facial features. Like an innocent youthful look even into adulthood.

[@ARpirateant]

I agree Idk why we look young for our age

[@lee9650]

Or maybe that's just the ones you notice? Maybe you have a type?

[@WillMaiJunior]

I do like the set of books you have on display!

[@ED-zc2um]

Hilarious!…. I always say the gays always look ….. busy, busy, busy…. Running around 😂😂😂😂

[@nathanroboticist9563]

Modeling oneself after gay stereotypes also creates some identities. However the same person can drop it all depending on the situation. Especially when being out is dangerous....

[@jimtrue1465]

My problem is no one thinks I'm gay. Even when I'm sitting in a gay bar wearing clothes emblazoned with the rainbow flag, people assume I'm gay-friendly straight man. I am invisible to all gaydar.

[@aaronying4989]

Hah why?? Maybe your personality or how you look?? 😅

[@StarlessSnep]

god I love being called out. I'm gay and just so happen to walk faster than everyone around me 😅

Welcome back

[@Marigoldblu]

love you guys :)

[@sergiodma]

Two English guys stating that Spanish men are not very masculine... Interesting, to the least.

[@keeganandjoel]

When was that said? Specifically, when?

[@sergiodma]

​@@keeganandjoel mate... 21:42

[@peppapickmeisha]

Coming from Joel no less lmfao

[@ohioan2903]

The Latin (Spain, Italy, France, etc.) races are quite affectionate compared to the Germanic races (Germany, Scandinavian, Great Britain, etc.) One sees all the time in the movies, television, all other media == the Latin males kissing/hugging each upon meeting. The Italian families are always hugging everyone all the time. Years ago, the German schools would have teachers/adults pick up young boys == and drop them to the floor. The German boys were told == see - you cannot trust another person. Thus, the cold demeanors of the Germanic races compared to the warm embraces of the Latin races.

[@Imetwurld_]

Lies

[@tomschmitz-dj1fg]

Off topic, but I'm totally "entranced" by keegan's lower body in those jeans! lol! Just saying!....Anyone else??

[@williammencia5857]

Yes! My eyes are focused directly at keegan's massive muscular legs!!!! 😮

[@tomschmitz-dj1fg]

Keegan should live in those spray painted on stretchy to form jeans! lol! I'm now picturing him in some flesh colored ballet tights! OH LORD! lol!.. thanks for replying, like minds think alike!@@williammencia5857

[@simongoodwin5253]

It sounds and looks great. The Home Studio is better and colourful. Save money! I have no Gaydar whatsoever, unless they're screaming. Since moving back to Yorkshire from The South, I have had zero problems with being Gay. The only people that know I am Gay here, in Yorkshire, are people that have been told by people that I know from my previous life here. All were shocked that I was Gay and didn't realise. I talk about my ex and people presume my ex was a woman. I always correct them, and after the initial shock that they were wrong, we've always become friends, men and women alike. I've noticed though that Gay men have very expressive hands. Have you got Gin in those mugs??? You're both so much more relaxed than when in the Studio. "Julian & Sandy" were brilliant! Kenneth Horne was the Straight man.

[@aaronying4989]

I can usually tell, lol 😂 even if a guy seems super masculine acting I can pick up something small and subtle. I’ve been told I should be a detective lol. I see little things. 😂😅

[@billrichardson6866]

If we are talking stereotypes, we in America tend to lump anyone across the Atlantic as European.

[@bevanpetersen1625]

My gaydar is so bad I cant tell when someone's flirting with me 🤣🤣🤣

[@joemalick]

Gaydar is totally a thing, I’m kinda ok at it, based on some guesses I’ve made, and then confirmed. It’s basically a vibe that I think some people give off, that can then be picked up by others. And you made a good point, I honestly feel like I would fit in much better in Europe, it seems to be much more accepting and “normalized” to be gay or at least somewhat more feminine. Great podcast! ❤

[@ohioan2903]

The continental Europeans from the 1800's to before Hitler took power in 1933 were somewhat more tolerant of homosexuality than in the USA and Britain. I believe France under Napolean in the 1805's or so permitted homosexual sex (and not being against French law). The Germans I believed permitted gay sex after 1870. From 1870 to 1933 Germany was the epicenter for homosexuality in the world until the Nazis banned it.

[@williambender6711]

Gaydar, it happens that I can tell that said individual is not str8. This means if they are bi, trans, etc as well.

[@nealwhaley63]

Walking fast? Never heard that one before.

[@Kevin-1969]

I started weight training aged 17 in 1986, I met a blonde lad there aged 18, he was gay and clicked with me. He is my husband now. Gaydar exists for sure, I tried to hide it but it’s no use.

[@simonfive713]

Joel, if you live in Leeds you don't need to worry about wearing Pride socks to the gym, Leeds has a great gay scene and the largest free Pride event in the UK

[@Splash-nr8ot]

My take on gaydar is that it does exist. It's basically your sixth sense, which will vary from person to person. You either have it or you don't. Thanks for posting this.

[@ohioan2903]

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. Most gays do have some GAY RADAR or they would have dull lives and not be able to enjoy the gay communities.

[@ohioan2903]

The more older and experienced the gay, the more likely he has developed the capacity to have GAY RADAR

[@Splash-nr8ot]

@@ohioan2903 Agree!

[@Greenriver592]

You guys are adorable!

[@wewonderandexplore]

Thank you for the interesting discussion. BTW, at 70-years-old, my gaydar isn't all that bad.

[@ohioan2903]

Yes -- we in our 70's (Baby Boomers) -- we have lived long enough to have quite the accurate gay radar -- and it is almost 100% the eye interchanges that tell if one is gay. Why, if you watched the 5 seasons of BBC's Arthur and Merlin == the eye interactions between the 2 British male stars were so noticeable in almost every scene, one would have to be stupid not to have seen them as playing gay lovers. Many articles about the series explain that Merlin's magic was symbolic for homosexuality.

[@marial8235]

I think lgbt people operate on a different wavelength than str8s. Sometimes I can feel another gay person approaching: like the energy is different. Like a “disturbance in the Force.”

[@jmichaelberryhill4856]

Thank You, Gentlemen! :)

[@erichamilton3373]

A good ol' gay saying: Today's trade,.tomorrow's competition

[@JoshPimental]

Hey I'm from a rural town and get my iced coffee.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Gaydar is weak for me. Nice to see the in-house setup

[@МаксимМоисеенков-е2г]

Birds of a feather flock together 😊

[@wilhelm-z4t]

Generally, "gaydar" strikes me as a form of stereotyping. Stereotyping has acquired a bad reputation because it's too easily abused, resulting in overgeneralisation. However, what people have to remember is if there wasn't a kernel of truth to a stereotype, it would make no sense. So, what would be the use of it? I would hazard that most people's gaydar is pretty poor, but a very few people have excellent gaydar, probably because they're super analytical with keen powers of observation. To a degree, I suppose experience is also relevant, too. They'd be the equivalent of say, Dr. Joseph Bell, the man who inspired the creation of Sherlock Holmes. Bell was able to deduce from the minutiae of behaviour and physical evidence astoundingly accurate conclusions about a person. An amazing but rare talent. That's what gaydar is. Moreover, those that have this rare ability can be either straight, gay or Miss Marple.

[@igortirkajla8042]

The longer I interact with the people, the gaydar becomes more reliable. It might be b/c I know they are gays, but I think if I were to sit with these guys, just watching and listening, I'd assume the guy on the right is gay. He sometimes has these hugher pitches when accentuating (I hope that's word), then these hand movements from time to time - these things are giving gim away for me. Also, Eurovision - not all gays love it, yet I'm still to meet someone who likes it, but isn't gay :D

[@donaldskinner-reid8998]

I like being woke. I think you can see in people's eyes an indication of sexuality.

[@jmm2511]

What a beautiful hunky guy

[@johnvaccaro7022]

It's meat and potatoes here in The States.

[@fshepinc]

I always loved Julian and Sandy on Round the Horne!

[@Foggydays-b8z]

I would say my gayder is 70-80% accurate. My immediately obvious. Im like painting my nails, and very swishy and camp. If im round Guildford its probably me ❤love to everyone❤

[@annmcintyre2193]

I like the cow figurine.

[@alfredsantella6477]

Yeah most times. But I just like people, sex is so miniscule in the gran scheme of things for everyone. Men are Men you just gotta grow up and ❤ one person my opinion only. 🇺🇲✌️🌞🌴Al

[@archdragon2002]

HAHAHAA...Me and my husband walk by someone we think is gay we look at each other and say "YES"! LOL

[@Look_itt]

As an American, NO! … It’s also Gay or European for us as well 😆 Then add in Gay or Bad Bunny fanboy as a chaser 😆

[@GG-pg5zs]

Spandex jeans….interesting

[@mnh1956]

My gaydar is terrible, I do not have a clue. Unless they are being a flaming queen.