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Part five of our second interview with the former royal pair.
#meghanmarkle #oprahwinfrey #splitthewestatwarwithitself #parody #harryandmeghan #princeharry #royalinterview
Transcript:
Interviewer: Prince Charles and Prince William are said to have been deeply hurt by the grenades you recently hurled over the castle walls in the form of yet more complaint, this time of the strictness of Royal life. Do you regret that?
Harry: Being brought up a royal was completely un-amazing, so rigid you know, so unable to adapt to modern times and let go of the long exhausted traditions that are mostly bound up in racism and sexism and stuff like that. (turns to Megah) That came out pretty good didn’t it Meghan?
Megahn: I could feel the truth emanating from it - it hit me like a wave.
Interviewer: Are you concerned, Meghan, that Harry has gone a bit too far with this?
Meghan: No, I think that he’s got potential and he’s showing that now.
(Harry gestures, embarrassed, as if to say: “get away”)
Meg: And being completely and entirely, right, up front about your weakness, right, you become much stronger and that is exactly what Harry’s doing.
Harry: Oh yes I’m a strong man! Very alpha-male!”
Interview: Which is evident Harry, but what do you say to those who say that the damage done by this current round of mud-slinging might make a reunion with your family impossible; the damage done, irreparable?
Harry: Look, they’ll come round in the end. They'll finally realise one day, I’m sure! If they just spent half an hour with Meghan, literally half an hour, and would just be quiet and actually listen, they could learn a lot.
(Meghan looks chuffed with herself)
Interviewer: You believe that a future revival of your familial circumstance will come about by a complete capitulation of tradition on their part, and then a full embrace of your excruciatingly vague newspeak and its fruiting ethical framework?
Harry: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Meghan: I think they’ll come round. I’ve been saying to Harry for a while now that, give them time, ya know, and they’ll see that a new day is dawning. It’s up to them whether they want to play a positive role in this.
Interviewer: It must be wonderful to have instant access to the absolute true answer to things, Meghan.
Meghan: but it’s a burden too, ya know, right? It’s not easy, you become an object criticism, a target for hate.
Interview: Of course, I was just about to say that despite this endowment of crystal clarity on all things moral, you are a victim even in that…
Harry: I don’t know how she does it?
Meghan: It’s as though some people think I’m just making this stuff up. That I just spout purposefully meaningless and cleverly destructive platitudes. Or that I’m trying to sound cleverer and wiser than I am? Or that I have very meagre life experience and qualifications for telling others how to live and be happy.
Interview: incredible that..
Harry: And completely horrid! It’s so unfair! What’s Meghan ever done but try to help people improve their lives; by showing compassion and offering free advice. Some people out there are still wasting their time being happy and achieving things instead of concentrating on their mental health.
Meghan: It's a more common problem than you think.
Interviewer: You think that it’s happiness and achievements that get in the way of mental health awareness.
Meghan: Significantly so, I’m afraid
Harry: the two biggest obstacles, I’d say.