Harry Enfield - Methods of Self-Defence

[@redsquirrel1086]

"Blimey, stone me if me blasted centre of gravity ain't been disorientated." Absolutely wonderful!

[@danielkarmy4893]

Evening guv'nor! Wizard weather we're having, in't it not half...

[@MrIrishscouse]

A most splendid tutorial of a visual nature on the bases of self-defense. I am thoroughly reassured that their application against any ruffian one might encounter when one is about one's business of a winter's evening will bring an unwelcome confrontation with a chunky desperado to a favourable conclusion for all concerned.

[@CollaterlieSisters]

All concerned minus the ruffian.

[@lablackzed]

🤔😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Cor"Blimey gov you ain't half posh .😳😂😂😂🇬🇧

[@barriemaclean6872]

Glad to see the various classes in the hierarchy know their places & respond appropriately, making it quite safe to proceed out of a winter`s evening, Mr Cholmondley-Warner

[@PiggyWiggyO]

I say,if we all had these lessons today there would be no car thieves, shop robberies and no need for the elaborate legal defense for the ruffians! LOL

[@elizabethblackwell6242]

The upper class twit in his natural environment.

[@bradleyweiss1089]

I’m from America I’m sure I don’t know what he means.

[@bernadettemurray8260]

@@bradleyweiss1089 🤣🤣

[@pauldelaney5990]

These scallywags need a very stern talking to!

[@mark-j-adderley]

Well, one has to say that one has learned a great deal of useful information from this splendid educational short film; I shall be studying it diligently and applying the techniques in my everyday life in the most appropriate ways when accosted by scallywags, ruffians and ne´er-do-well vagabonds of all persuasions. Thanks awfully.

[@MrDaiseymay]

OR---you could read this out-loud to them and bore them to sleep first, thereby allowing a nifty escape.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

"A chunky desperado confronts you with larcenous intent" may be one of my favourite statements ever

[@thomasandersen6719]

@mauro. Fucking idiot

[@richardhockey8442]

an exceedingly rum looking character with designs on your money purse and portable valuables

[@ericconnor8419]

I say this whenever my fat cat tries to steal my dinner

[@mantabond]

. . .the beauteousness of Edwardian English.

[@samthemac17]

Sounds like me approaching the fridge.

[@bigmeknurgle]

"Where the devils me intended victim opted to?" Timeless and brilliant.

[@laurastuart3814]

No "opted to" but hopped it to.

[@steveross8364]

@@laurastuart3814 Not hopped it to but 'Opped it to. The lower class larcenous types always drop their h's don't you know.

[@foddyfoddy]

Or even "opped it too". Their grammar is also poor, what what.

[@Robertonnz]

Cor chummy - what a great perishin' sketch, and no mistake.

[@silverfish8059]

Thanks to whoever is posting these..... you have sincerely made my day! I’m now forcing them on my Canadian friends....

[@MrDaiseymay]

Well Quite---I think our colonial bretherens require a fresh injection from the Motherland. Clearly--far too much influence from those vagabonds in the Americas.

[@nicbarrax76]

As a chunky desperado I am most displeased. This informative and educational tidbit will make my larcenous behavior most difficult to uphold. Blimey.

[@johnritter6864]

Needs to be a meme

[@ronaldkelly1878]

Well,perhaps you have learned your lesson lesson and no mistake . If not,just avoid posh blokes and constables

[@ahassen1236]

Harry Enfield is a national treasure. Unique talent.

[@danevans9008]

"A chunky desperado confronts you with larcenous intent". Brilliant!!

[@worldsgonebonkers4512]

It's a good job KZbin is around or these clips would be just memories.

[@bar10ml44]

Rich 1988 yes but for how much longer? I think this is brilliant. Sadly so many now wouldn’t agree. There isn’t any comedy or satire or fun any more.

[@thesandwich5321]

No satire or fun?! You're not looking hard enough.

[@mrbrown2186]

They are on UK gold at least 3 times a week and also on Netflix.

[@johnmartinez7440]

@@bar10ml44 Yes there is. Why are there always plonkers like you bemoaning "the good old days" and how "we don't get comedy like this nowadays!!!!" on every single bloody Harry Enfield video on KZbin?

[@martkbanjoboy8853]

Gor blimey, youar roight guvnah!

[@Hysteria98]

Probably the most ingenious of Enfield's sketches, absolutely classic

[@spmoran4703]

As a professional scallywag . I object to this.

[@MajPickles]

Are you also an 'up to no gooder'?

[@lazykipper]

At least you know what to expect now. I don't think they've done themselves any favours.

[@Philg-z5r]

😂😂😂

[@00ir]

"hand over your perishing lolly, or face a bit of rough and tumble"

[@robs639]

Still hilarious after all these years

[@gyrozeppeli8303]

I would not like to ruin your 69 likes, guvna.What ever shall I do ?

[@stevefowler3398]

It's now '23, and yep! Still funny.

[@shriharihudli]

I don’t get it. This is a joke? I thought it was a serious instructional video!

[@whatshisname3304]

these defence methods are just the thing better than going to self-defence classes. i must try them tomorrow, at work , i m a police constable.

[@paulhickie9148]

Alan Cogan wow calm down dude.

@Alan Cogan I'm glad spods like your ancestors don't get to do it their way any more.

[@bradleyweiss1089]

Alan Cogan Quite.

[@bradleyweiss1089]

Alan Cogan An obvious climate change believer.

[@bradleyweiss1089]

- Have you met Greta?

[@micahnewman]

Love the jump cuts.

[@vinesauceobscurities]

Also love the recycled footage.

[@synthonaplinth5980]

First time seeing this. Calling it 'hilarious' would be an understatement.

[@opinionday0079]

That's what has disappeared from lots of shows today...really good writing.

[@jeffhubbard4688]

That's what was being said when when this came out. It was also being said when Yes Minister came out, Not The Nine O'clock New, Yes Prime Minister...........the list goes on. You are just a degree in a circle, enlessly repeating.

[@gazotoole3933]

What a blast I had reading all the youtube comments. You lot make me laugh :)

[@flat5sharp11]

"Ooyah!" the exclamation of pain/surprise from the Beano and Dandy comics :) @1:34

[@Philg-z5r]

Another priceless piece of British comedy.

[@Veetoria]

OMG! These sketches are amazing!!!! I have never seen nor heard of them before..but I love them

[@BuddahUK]

LOL I love how this skit has opened up a deep and frosty international discourse rather than become the site for multiple postings of how funny it bloody well is!

[@greglynch391]

Perishing comment sections 🙄

[@mruresm8]

OMG, so very very very funny, just cant stop watching these BRILLIANT clips!!!!!!!!!!!! Well deserved 5 stars an no mistake ... not arf!!!!

[@tonygrice1450]

Still watching in 2025;

[@elizabethtaylor9321]

I’ve learned my Lesson and no mistake ! Back when muggers were polite and let you sit on then till the cops came , those were the days !

[@joannanoel4757]

Beware the 'up-to-no-gooder'.....marvellous Mr Cholmondley-Warner and Mr Grayson we need them back..!

[@jimlaker6552]

That's Grayson, not Mr. Grayson. Grayson is a manservant, not a gentleman.

[@joannanoel4757]

Thank you Mr Laker for putting me straight on this matter....I doff me hat to you!

[@MrDaiseymay]

@@joannanoel4757 Why--avya got a brick innit?

[@ClipSalad]

@@jimlaker6552 Absolutely - we simply must not meddle with the natural order of things. We can’t have the tail wagging the dog, now, can we?

[@richardbranson8658]

These are great tips after watching this I now feel safe again to venture into my town for a night out.. Thanks for this very informative video... Subded

[@MatiProbably]

I say! Jolly good! I shall employ these methods should some ruffian wish to inflict a clobbering upon my person.

[@SuperNevile]

Just make sure your person is within hailing distance of the local constabulary.... oh wait a minute, this is two thousand and eighteen years anno domini …….. Good Luck!

[@bradleyweiss1089]

Meanwhile back in the colonies...

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Blimy! Stone me if me blasted centre of gravity ain't not been disorientated.

[@redsquirrel1086]

I don't know who the burly ruffian was in this but he was brilliant.

[@krachenford9594]

My life has changed, thank you!

[@orac1waterskiing]

Gosh, never realized Harry Enfield had such a long tv career.

[@nigelbenn4642]

Late Eighties to present. Not so much as an award.

[@nigelbenn4642]

@Someguy136 Top drawer!

[@hoomanm6807]

Yes. Looks like he's been doing this for forty, forty-five years.

[@MrDaiseymay]

@@nigelbenn4642 Probably because even the Royals were lampooned

[@Thorin440]

​@@nigelbenn4642Whoosh.

[@maddyg3208]

There's something very "Dad's Armyish" about this film. Apart from the way that the characters speak, you can imagine Captain Mainwaring showing it to his platoon while training them to deal with any German paratroopers they might meet in a dark alley

[@vtrmcs]

Remember, they don't like it up 'em.

[@DanBoy42]

Give em the old cold steel!

[@The1969Vintage]

There is a real WW2 unarmed combat training film which refers to kicking your opponent in the balls as, "ruining his prospects".

[@MrDaiseymay]

Well they would certainly have been influenced by ''Public Information films', like this, with clipped posh, terrrribly terrribly English tones like these.

[@timkyle800]

That first punch gets me each time.

[@peteraddison8323]

absolute classic

[@Samantha_88]

I have apprehended a skallywag. Thanks for all these videos, happy memories :)

[@bingowingz70]

absolute classic sketch

[@ArchetypeGotoh]

“Blimey! Stone me if me blasted center o’ gravity ain’t been disorientated”

[@yakacm]

It's good that the potato setting was used when this video was rendered, it's the only time that 240p adds to the videos realism, lol. I'd actually forgotten how good these were.

[@allnightrunner.6515]

The most unbelievable part of this sketch is seeing an officer on foot patrol.

[@PhilipTaylor-ye5uo]

Goodmorning. I have issues scene 1=although the ruffian doffed his cap no forlock was tugged. scene 5 the miscreant recieved a fist to the orchestra stalls=!After the watershed please..

[@gsons]

ingenious!!! Love it!

[@OnlyLadyJ]

OMG, this was too funny! I really enjoyed it! One Luv, Peace & Prosperity Lady J

[@prez58]

What if they come at you with a pointed stick?

[@zaphodbeeblebrox6627]

prez58 :- Or some fresh fruit?

[@raspberrymojitogirldec]

get gun kill them or eat he fruit 😂

[@davidgillettuk9638]

prez58 Then call on the Spanish Inquisition to help you out....

[@stevebinning977]

@@zaphodbeeblebrox6627 Release the Tiger! However the tiger does not relish the peach. The peach assailant should be attacked with a crocodile.

[@gyrozeppeli8303]

@@davidgillettuk9638 NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

[@221b-Maker-Street]

Harry Enfield's TV prog of the 90s. Available on DVD, but these Cholmondley-Warner (pronounced Chumley) slots were a sketch each week in a mixed sketch show, similar to The Fast Show.

[@richardhockey8442]

along with The Palace of Righteous Justice 'She-woman-cat-type-thing has coughed up a furball - The day is saved!'

[@QuagmiresDooflab]

It's not on DVD.

[@nigelcarren]

Blimey, I ain't never expected to see such blood n' gore n' that immortalized here on the tellyweb! 🇬🇧🤔

[@saltech3444]

"With the instinctive deference of his class..."

[@hadb9084]

All these techniques still work today

[@McRocket]

I really liked these.

[@johndanville6643]

Fantastic. I remember seeing these years ago. Still piss funny 😁

[@cassandra6199]

The founders of Kingsman, rath-ah!

[@WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

"Where the devils me intended victim offted to?" hahahaha, this stuf is my fav from this show

[@patrickporter6536]

'opped it to.. didn't you read Beano and Dandy?

[@beadtific]

I love these SO MUCH. I can't get enough of these. Where do they come from?

[@zachjones6944]

Harry Enfield & Chums.

[@theziggyh]

“I’m going to administer a flipping clobbering”

[@MrOkami75]

This is classic!

[@Wingalaxi]

There's quite a bit of nostalgia hidden under the silliness here. Ha ha! Manners then seem stiff today, mainly because modern manners are mostly vestigial.

[@whatshisname3304]

a bit like the word vestigial.

[@Akendolfr]

Indeed Mr. Cholmondley-Warner.

[@dudanunesbleff]

This is so silly! I love it.

[@zulubeatz1]

The drop to the knees bollocks punch is an actual self defence move.

[@martinmills135]

And if these don’t work, try Number 6: When the ruffian bent on larceny assails you with the phrase: “‘And over your wallet!”, quickly point out to him that he has dropped an aitch. He will instinctively bend over to look for the missing consonant, affording you the opportunity to make good your escape!

[@modsheff1]

simply sit on the ruffian..until a constable arrives..

[@TheLieutenantKnows]

Keep in mind this doesn't work in the Western United States, where removal of a hat is typically used as a distraction to go for your gun.

[@SvenTviking]

The Eastern cities were far, far more dangerous than the West.

[@txgunguy2766]

Chicago still is.

[@michaelxx7022]

A flippin gun? That's dashed ungentlemanly!

[@ClipSalad]

Should such a situation arise when in England (or her dominions) before going for one’s “shootin’ iron”, it is customary to offer your opponent a small-arm of equivalent stopping power before walking the requisite ten paces and turning to discharge said weapons.

[@rapido2963]

A typical American shabby trick …….. with the belt worn loosely around the ankles.

[@atilllathehun1212]

Number 4 works!! A scallywag attempted to rob me but I disorientated his center of gravity and a handy copper gave him a clip around the ear....

[@shaundyble]

Class distinctions are what make Britain 🇬🇧 great😊❤shaun

[@quaker57]

Love it

[@capokhatpin]

Where the devils me intended vcitim opted to......absolutely brilliant.

[@weaseltoothpaste]

36 people need a flipping clobbering

[@wilbo95]

all this Harry Enfield stuff is hillarious!

[@Lumby1]

'Face a bit of rough and tumble' ! ROFL!

[@absolutedisease1699]

And it really works. I just bought a hat and an umbrella last week and went to a footballgame. As i found myself in a group of hooligans i gave them chaps a bit of rough and tumble and i only lost 10 teeth, broke 5 ribs, lost me left eye, got some ankles dislocated and they broke me nose a couple of times. Next month i will take my granddads watch to the next game and try it again, this time i will give them ol´ chaps a real clobbering.

[@tonycavanagh1929]

lol

[@peps7721]

But you didn't use the centre of gravity trick!!

[@bradleyweiss1089]

You must of done something wrong. Watch it again.

[@stevetaylor8698]

I'm afraid old chap, your Estuary English grammar gave the game away. These defence instructions are only valid for the middle classes. An upper class gentleman would simply run the blighter through with his swordstick.

[@Gunyo]

That is just bloody awesome!

[@Harmonical1]

Absolutely fantastic!

[@lukeybaby45]

Not available in my country. The UK...

[@icemanx2353]

😂 that last one would definitely work. There's nothing worse than then being bashed in the bullocks., I say! lol wouldn't it hurt? Christ, you're not kidding. You just don't get comedy like this anymore. Pure gold kudos to Harry Enfield

[@steve.wellersteve.weller9855]

I'm thinking the Alleyway scene in Collateral 😂😂😂 Vincent had the means and ability to deal with the situation quickly and effectively

[@tomservo56954]

Actually, that bit with the umbrella WOULD make sense in a real-world situation.

[@shmookins]

I need to buy a hat.

[@sHART1780]

I'm not usually into British humor but this guy's freaking hilarious.

[@redsquirrel1086]

Robbie Hart Perhaps you should be in to British humor. It is the funniest after all.

[@lebertmcbert485]

Easyandy100. Prejudices??? It`s a comedy sketch taking the mickey out of the way television was way back when. Lighten up mate.

[@HelgeKS]

Made a note of the umbrella one.

[@FallNorth]

If only he had been around to tell us what to when "ambushed by cake" in one's office, we might've had something else on the news for the past couple months :)

[@tommiatkins3443]

Strap me perishing vitals. Ol Boris, e's gone and bloomin well brought Britain back to a land of warm beers an the sound of leather on willow e 'as, and no mistake.

[@pauldavies152]

This has me in stitches lol

[@alundavies8402]

Me too

[@marklane5222]

This came up in between Mcgregor v Mayweather highlights 😅😅😅 Funny as fuck. I think they should both watch this before they fight.

[@richardmarkwood]

Enfield - Genius!!!!

[@chrisrowl5001]

Sit on the ruffian until a constable arrives 😂

[@Dicky104]

Hypnosis is a wizard idea!

[@SvenTviking]

No trusty service pistol?

[@stevehall5299]

I say capital my good man,these baly ruffians are simply a ruddy pain!

[@alzeNL]

was this filmed in Croydon ?

[@lordeden2732]

So that where the Kingsmen got their training

[@WolfieRich1]

What a charming thought, you sweet fragile little thing.. XD!

[@stephenhughes9575]

Chunky desperado!!😂😂😂

[@dowling1981]

No worries. What is your opinion on the recent antics of Ian Beale?

[@54spiritedwill54]

Absolutely fantastic! classic!

[@Isleofskye]

Why you say that,please?

[@MrLuvlyJubly]

2:10 best Enfield face he could pull. It encapsulates 1940's.

[@oldhippy1017]

Great stuff pure class. Unlike todays fucking rubbish.

[@purefoldnz3070]

2:39 discombobulate