Harvard Professor's Guide To Achieving Real Happiness - Arthur Brooks

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before KZbin by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps: 00:00 What We Get Wrong About Happiness 05:23 Current State of Modern Happiness 14:02 Why Faith is Crucial to Happiness 20:05 The Importance of Family & Friends 27:01 Finding Purpose in Your Work 35:43 How to Manage Your Desires 43:49 The Pleasure of Reliving Memories 51:38 Optimising for Satisfaction 1:01:48 Being Seduced By the 4 Idols 1:10:59 Why Meaning Impacts Happiness 1:23:16 Meaningful Parenting in a Comfortable World 1:26:37 Differences Between Happiness & Unhappiness 1:30:59 Why Anxiety Has Become Common 1:35:25 The Modern Evolution of Envy 1:41:25 Understand the Complex Human Experience 1:44:07 Where to Find Arthur

[@genericbotface]

Anyone else constantly confusing this guy with Scott Galloway?

[@brianfoster9699]

26:00 "If it doesn't hurt your heart when you haven't spoken to your friend in a week, they're not a real friend" - I like the sentiment here, but I feel like you don't need to be in touch with your friends once a week to maintain a true friendship. We all have busy lives, and some of us go weeks or months without speaking, and then we can get together and hit it off like we saw each other yesterday.

[@thechrismear]

This bit struck a nerve with me also. I'm in a similar boat with my friends as you are with yours and yet they're still the people I can turn to when I need them and they're still the people I'd like to spend a lot of time with. Sometimes life can get in the way (although, to be honest with ourselves, the only reason we don't have the time is because we don't make it a priority to have the time)

[@anoncspan4129]

Yeah, I completely agree. I don't think I've ever had that pain with anyone except my wife, kids, and parents when I was a child. I've had curiosity about what they're up to. They're in my thoughts regularly, but, yeah, everything else you said.

[@anubhavmisra84]

I understand the realism of seeing people only occasionally, but the other side is, if you don't have someone who you can see almost regularly, your friendship has reached a point of distance where it's at an optional status. That realization is hurtful, and can create yearning for someone who is more present for you.

[@Mr_Penguins_Pet_Human]

I have a couple of life long friends since childhood that I trust and doesn't matter I saw them yesterday or months ago.

[@CibitiPro]

You bring up an important point about the nature of true friendships. While frequent communication can signify closeness, the real measure of a friendship often lies in the ability to reconnect effortlessly, regardless of time apart. Life's demands mean we can't always be in constant contact, but the strength of a friendship is evident when we can pick up right where we left off. This understanding acknowledges the depth and resilience of meaningful relationships, highlighting that true connection goes beyond regular communication.

[@dosboot1]

Good and bad episode, which makes me sad and I have a lot to say: I always find it amazing how Arthur Brooks hits the very center of the bullseye of the topic that is closest to my heart. And he is so polished with the right words and definitions. I'm consistently amazed... BUT ultimately his insight isn't much of a life preserver if your life isn't already successful. Listening to Arthur is more like gaining an academic understanding of life & happiness, not an understanding of how to live. Out of "faith, family, friends, and work" I have faith, but making the other 3 healthier and thriving is the tragic odyssey of my life. I feel like I'm going to war every single day to get my life nutrients, but that day doesn't feel like it will come and I'm likely to starve. Understanding your 'idols' and 'crossing off political opinions from a list' just doesn't cut it, Arthur. The world is competitive, we're all competing for the same jobs and we all want real connection from each other. It's HARD. There's also less connection available to go around because we're also competing with technology for people's time and attention. I feel MW is difficult to listen to because I'm a struggling dude and every guru is so successful in life nutrients. Where's the guests where things didn't work out so perfectly in the end? Where's the guests where they actually know male (or female) relatives or coworkers that are lonely out of their minds with no obvious problem to point a finger at? I'm dead serious here. If you want to keep calling the show "Modern" wisdom then I think you need to have people who actually live in the modern world without being insulated from the unique features of it. People who don't themselves have as large of a cushion of life nutrients, or who have close relations to someone without that cushion.

[@Samantha-bq8bo]

I agree with all your points . The cushion of family and being loved properly by your parents I think is the biggest factor towards increased happiness ability. People who say “money doesn’t matter so much “- that’s ridiculous . They have never been truly poor. The comfort of money can help a great amount when you have no comfort from family .

[@nottomclancy2439]

​@@Samantha-bq8bo The people who say that "money doesn't matter" are oftentimes people who did nothing else besides building wealth and when they reached that goal, it was empty and they felt just as lonely and shitty as they did before. There is an amount of money where, after you reach that amount, your life doesn't become better. You just get more things. If you have no money at all and can't pay rent and can't eat... well, that is the other side of the coin. Point being: Money is not the answer for EVERYTHING. Once you get comfortable with money, you'll know what they're on about.

[@Darko1.0]

This is the definition of "misery loves company". Also kind of sounds like you atribute all your problems to the eternal world and never yourself. I may be misinterpreting what you said and I don't know you, obviously, so please take this with a grain of salt.

[@dosboot1]

@@Darko1.0 I'm interested in interviews that I can relate to and is applicable to me. The kind of content would speak to an important group of people in the modern world. I attribute my problems to myself. And so do other groups of people in the audience whose lives I don't relate as well to. What you said was off base. We're all trying to not feel lost and find our purpose. Don't try to squeeze me and the group I represent out of the conversation.

[@ericdraven3654]

I feel the same. I have learnt a lot listening to these conversations but many times I feel totally disengaged, listening to people Who live in a different world than mine.

[@cg000gc]

Married people are happier if the marriage goes well, if not is hell. Mr. Brooks, why don't you show us the data that you shout so loud that you have, and expecially, explain to us how they have collected and analyzed. Harvard is bin of garbage, and seeing how you talk, I realized why: you are making ideology not science.

[@Robin-f8f]

Unfortunately Mr. Brooks hasn't all the answers for all people. What resonates for me might not be for you? Sometimes, in our own unhappiness, we start placing blame onto others. I wish someone had all the answers, but in reality, it's never going to work out that way.

[@Druss757]

Anyone else feel like Chris is listening to their thoughts and just puts out episodes precisely when you need them? Looking forward to this episode, really enjoy some Arthur Brooks

[@Chase.77]

I swear to you, I thought to myself ‘I feel directionless, I don’t know what my next step is gonna be for me (career wise; as I work for minimum wage atm and need to escape that). Then I go on my phone and this is the video I see at the top of my feed! 😮. I also genuinely just finished a clip from JRE featuring Howard bloom and he was explaining how ‘everything is connected’. So ….. yea 😶

[@hobojungle1]

I think we just all always need lots of guidance with everything, all of the time. Lol

[@matejoh]

I was having a conversation with my brother 5 minutes before this episode was released, about him having the ability to make small changes to have a high impact on improving his life.

[@natejuda6855]

Well...I just started reading Brook's book on happiness yesterday. I will be using it in one of my classes this fall. It was remarkable timing.

[@adriansanchez4875]

We're all going through life, we tend to go through similar things , there's nothing new under the sun (maybe just more modern versions )

[@bentationfunkiloglio]

Damn, KZbin is cramming more and more commercials into videos. Making its videos increasingly unwatchable.

[@onionfarmer3044]

Ad block.

[@wkb9211]

KZbin red is like 6 bucks man. More than worth the cost

[@bentationfunkiloglio]

@@wkb9211 You know, I’d have no problem paying if not for their political censorship problem. Perhaps, after the election if they are even handed. Not looking good so far, unfortunately.

[@thefrostyscoop]

KZbin red is worth the cost imo I hate ads

[@spaceghost8891]

I agree with mostly everything. But many times people don't come from a good family and for them it's very hard to understand how a family environment is important. It is my case, and it's a big turn you have to make on your head to start believing that family is a good thing after you spend 20+ years in a bad family environment. The nurture part is very defining on those aspects and it's a chain effect. If we have good families it's more likely that in the future the next generation would like to keep it that way. But it's not what I see happening, the future looks grim in this aspect.

[@tempsoda]

I enjoyed it too, although I think I will pass on the suggestion of taking a 2.30am walk alone without my phone. 😂 But definitely some good take aways on the whole.

[@CibitiPro]

Your perspective on family is both insightful and deeply personal. For those who haven't experienced a positive family environment, understanding and valuing familial bonds can be a significant mental shift. The cycle of dysfunction can indeed seem hard to break, but recognizing this challenge is the first step towards change. Creating a better future for the next generation starts with redefining our own understanding and experience of family. Your story emphasizes the importance of breaking these cycles and striving for healthier relationships, even when it seems difficult.

[@jorgetinoco3574]

None of that matters, the reality of things is that you are the person in control, create your family and put the effort into making the change in your generation, otherwise, nothing anyone else does matters

[@nottomclancy2439]

People need to stop listening to some well established, everything in order academic and need to look within themselves. Academia tells you about the "average person". There is no average person. It's a statistical thing. "When you look at the data" doesn't mean shit FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY. It can tell you something about OTHERS and what THEY have in COMMON, but that average statistical thing doesn't apply to everybody, does it? Everybody is an outlier in some way and average in some other way. Stop consuming social media (that means this shit, too), stop watchnig TV, stop gaming, stop overworking yourself for AN HOUR and just go outside and DON'T even TRY to do ANYTHING at all. Just fucking walk. Disconnect from the outside, reconnect to the inside (you don't have to do that actively btw...it just happens once you allow yourself to be with yourself without distraction.) When you ask most people: "What is scarier? Spending a day with a person you hate, or spending an hour in silence looking at a wall?" most will answer "the wall." But that is exactly what the fuck they need. How can you expect to ever be content (not talking about happiness here) if you're running away from yourself?? Everything is just "run run run gotta get the bag" even though they can live comfortably (not starving, can pay rent, are safe). Instead the conclusions are "if I have X amount of money, THEN I can live life and then I'll be happy.", "When I reach X amount of years in age, then I am able to live life.", "Gotta get that promotion to go to that expensive place for a vacation, THAT'S what I need.". Nah. What you need is values and a good life philosophy, which you now actually have to work towards, which means THINKING / WRITING about it and asking YOURSELF tough questions you probably know the answer to already, but are actively lying to yourself and avoiding the answers to. Why? Because you know you'll have to change things and it's going to be uncomfortable first, before it gets comfortable again (think drug addiction: Why are some people able to just walk away from smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use from one day to the next? Even though it's one of the hardest habits to quit, some people have a realization and just walk away. Some struggle and relapse, but eventually quit. It's not about the substance, is what I am trying to say: It's about your inner workings. That's why you're turning to drugs in the first place). We all know this to be true within ourselves, if you've spent ANY amount of observing your inner turmoil once you encounter such a hard truth. "I should break up with this person, but I really like the sex" is a good example of your hedonistic side winning over your morals and the innate knowledge of what the right thing to do is. Again: The right thing to do oftentimes is uncomfortable but very much worth it. The easiest thing is not the thing you need to do... Do the hard things, which doesn't mean WORK EVEN MORE. You know exactly what's right and wrong. If you don't....disconnect and go for walks. You need to listen to the thing inside of you that is telling you exactly what YOU - NEED - to do. Trust it (have faith). Not in some god / religious way (but if you are religious, you're gonna have a way easier time with this), but in YOURSELF. There is no losing. It's all winning and learning. No step back. It's ALL forward. Doesn't matter that you lost the job, if your character and integrity is intact. You will find work / purpose that suits YOU, not you forming yourself to suit some work! It's gonna be tough, but that is part of the course. In the "end" it's all worth it. Life is only hard, when you firstly: don't know who you are, what you want and what the direction you're going in life should be (all of those things are just lying inside of you, waiting to be HEARD, but you're unable to hear them, because you're busy jerking off, doing drugs, playing video games while listening to podcasts in hopes that you'll hear something that makes you change your life) Secondly: you're so poor that you're starving. How many people in the western world are really THAT poor. People in the comments listening to Modern "Wisdom", having access to the internet which they're probably accessing from a mobile phone which has been built on the backs of slaves (african cobalt mines / chinese workers that regularily try to kill themselves so much so, they installed nets around the buildings so they can't - research it) and commenting on how poor they are, need to rethink what poverty means. You don't have to make 100k/yr to not starve, or to attract a partner, either! Be somebody that is comfortable in their own skin, have a goal (which you can only find if you listen to yourself) and work towards it. That is everything you need to do to be "happy" in the end. Before I forget to mention it: You have to be honest. With others ofc, but honest with yourself most of all. Truly 100% ruthless honesty. What do I mean? Maybe you're unhappy with your marriage and you have kids with the other person, whom you most certainly love. Still, you're unhappy. You know you have to talk about it, but you're afraid of what the other person might say or do, you're afraid you're maybe gonna lose your children and everything you own in the divorce, if the worst case were to happen and so you "accept fate" and live unhappily for another 5-10 years....then you really fucked up. Now the worst case actually IS happening and you lost the chance to do anything about it when the time was right (when you noticed that something ain't right). If you had been honest with yourself, honest with your partner and genuine in your approach and talked about it, things might've turned out differently. They might've turned out the same, but you wouldn't have lost 5-10 years of your life being miserable, too. Your fear of conflict / of hard decisions / of a hard life made you choose the easy way, but that made everythinig so much harder in the long run, that in comparison the hard life WAS the easy life. In the end, what's better? Saying something, being aware that you're unhappy and DOING ANYTHING at all, or ignoring it and just "living life" in hopes that the problem is gonna go away on its own? It's not going away. You know it. You can FEEL it. Listen to that feeling FOR A BIT and just SEE FOR YOURSELF. See where it wants you to go and watch things magically fall in place. You will start wondering if fate is real even if you're an atheist (which I am). You'll watch everything, even problems, become opportunities. You'll experience negative things as a way to grow, like a challenge from the universe and when you do your best 100% of the time, are honest about everything, then even if you "fail" at something the universe gives you a little present. That is what religious people call God or God's plan / fate, Buddhists call Karma and so on. As Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: "Ignoring what goes on in other people's soul - no one ever came to grief that way. But if you won't keep track of what your own soul's doing, how can you NOT be unhappy?" - Book Two: On the River Gran, Among the Quadi; Marcus Aurelius' Meditations

[@ssykes7]

Would you give your life for your parent's life? Chris: Yes, but I would be in a lot of trouble for it.

[@sajafendel]

I hope one day we can all realise that the nature of our mind, pure consciousness, is happiness itself. And that we need to do nothing in order to experience it. It’s not a feeling or an emotion. It’s the lack of resistance to life. Any step we take towards it is a step in the wrong direction. It is in our last attempt to escape the moment that we realise happiness is already what we are. Have a great day guys.

[@bryanh1830]

Your brain literally focuses on the negatives despite how little. What made you say that happiness is the nature of our mind?

[@alexYouTubehandle]

There are three macro trends that have brought us here. 1. The long march of the 1960s Boomer “counter culture”. 2. Globalization. 3. Tech. Silicon Valley is the nexus where all three meet. Anyone who is not actively fighting to roll back the first two and approach the third with the question “what’s best for humans?” is not worth listening to, and is usually obfuscating and gaslighting. Globalization has been an utter disaster for Western economies, which have been limping on life support since 2008 with low growth due to massive trade deficits and open borders, while the cultural revolution has destroyed the fabric of society that used to provide support in difficult times. Tech is neither good nor bad inherently, but those in positions of responsibility have been flailing to adjust to it, when they’re not trying to harness it for Orwellian oppression. But no, kids aren’t depressed because of social media. They’re depressed because they have no economic future, and their minds and relationships have been destroyed by cultural insanity. Social media, drugs, games, ‘corn’ and so on are what people fall into when they have nothing else.

[@CibitiPro]

Your analysis of these macro trends and their impact on society is thought-provoking. The convergence of counterculture, globalization, and technology indeed shapes our modern world in profound ways. While each of these trends has potential benefits, their combined effect can also exacerbate economic and social challenges. Your call to critically evaluate and address these issues with a human-centric approach is crucial. It’s important to foster a balanced perspective that recognizes the complexities and strives for solutions that enhance human well-being amidst these ongoing transformations.

[@vir6472]

I’m out in a couple hours on 😅😅😅😅😅😅😊😅😊😅😊😅😊😅😊😅 42:18

[@LavishPatchKid]

Professors are like career military - they go that route so they never have to think or worry about anything. lol They go from parents - to institutions that are basically their parents, for life. Take advice from either with a grain of salt.

[@flowmovementtherapy2096]

My two points in my life where I was experiencing depression was when I'd invested and sacrificed a lot to be very good at something I was very passionate about and nobody was hiring me to do it.

[@jimbohaddon]

One minute into this video and it's already one of the most important, profound things you could hear, happiness is not a destination it's a direction 👍🏻

[@erawanpencil]

"If you get married and have kids you WILL be happier. I have the data." What he misses here is that it's not really anti-marriage rhetoric or philosophy that's stopping people from having kids, it's something way deeper. Most guys hypothetically want to have a wife and kids, but solitary life is becoming way too comfortable with all the technology we have now. Both men and women's standards are going up, on top of hypergamy and the lack of social pressure to settle down. We all know the usual incel spiel, but what all of this ultimately means is that even if a dude is able to start attracting women, there's little incentive NOT to just run through them. I'm seeing early 20's girls saying they HAVE to date guys in their late 30's or older to find someone who's even remotely interested in settling down. I feel like that wasn't around 10 years ago. And if you're a woman over say 32, what guy given the choice would risk a geriatric pregnancy? It's really sad and messed up and I think it will be the downfall of our species. I wonder if creatures like us have evolved before on Earth, but after a few millennia they just download themselves into quantum foam or something and they vanish from the fossil record.

[@TheFuzzician]

Marriage and kids are definitely NOT for everyone. Indeed, as you said, going single is becoming quite viable as a strategy (or at least not getting married/having kids), as it lets you save up money much more easily, and have a chance to secure a decent retirement. Otherwise, just the freedom to live as you please is quite attractive, as is the peace of mind that solitude offers. With multiplayer games about, and things like Discord, it's easier than ever to enjoy a "night with friends" from the comfort of your own home. And, for anyone not inherently attractive/charming, dating can be tough work, and often not really worth the hassle.

[@frontierlandfrank5314]

@@TheFuzzicianexactly what he said. You have to actively go against the animal brain, in order to achieve happiness. All of the things you said about going the easy route is what is keeping everyone so unhappy.

[@JSiracusan]

I know 32 is considered geriatric, but I think as long as they are healthy, they do just fine. my mom had me at 37, and my older sister had kids at 37 and 39, both healthy... it is true that health issues are more and more common though. the point of his 3 questions was to really narrow in on what you're here for presently. I doubt many would say, eh I just wanna play video games and watch porn... or would they? I don't know I'm out of touch with the younger generations to some extent. many of the new kids at my company start talking immediately about gender... and I feel like that's not that important. Well the egyptians were certainly advanced... now they are foam... I like it.

[@frontierlandfrank5314]

@@JSiracusan unfortunately statistics would prove otherwise. The rate of problems with pregnancy go up significantly. Not to mention problems with the mother, but malformations with the children as well.

[@JSiracusan]

I know what the stats say. However, living life in accordance with stats is severely limiting. Why would anyone get married? Given 50/50 outcome?. And there are things you can do to limit risk in marriage... no guarantees... and things you can do to limit risk in having children. And physical health of the parents is a huge one. Hopefully you see what I'm saying... generally yes, specifically, not necessarily.​@frontierlandfrank5314 @@frontierlandfrank5314

[@Yuvaln4]

Kinda have to say that I disagree with all the “data” quote and quote. Of course I highly suggest to involve yourself with society, and get into a relationship. But I don’t think it’s enough and if you are not ready for it then it is going to be a miserable ride, that’s why there are more divorces now.

[@panmarszczelec]

'my wife grew up in Barcelona' lol like coming from Europe is somehow indicative of rough life even if it's a wealthy, big, developed place? Sounds weirdly ignorant

[@ericdraven3654]

Totally. I am from Spain. It looked as if Barcelona was another Planet and not one of the best cities in the world to live in, specially a few years ago (not so much now).

[@anthrplgy.]

I enjoyed your aura and insights very much, Arthur. Thank you. I also appreciate that CW was excellent at delivering his questions. BUT.. When people say, “You are perfect,” they mean that you are wonderful just as you are in this moment. It does not necessarily imply that there is no room for personal growth or improvement. Rather, it is a metaphor suggesting that you can find contentment and happiness within yourself, regardless of where you are or who you are at any given time.

[@12Sanguine]

Arthur looks very healthy and energetic, especially if he's 60! Inspiring, and does make what he's saying seem more worth listening to - he walks the talk.

[@fabulousnewt770]

It's not that old😅... he looks like a normal 60 year old who takes care of himself.

[@BigWickTraders]

“And all I want for you my son is to be satisfied.”

[@chewbrocka6833]

He brought up Nietzsche and said most people follow him. Then he just said don't follow him. He glazed over him. It's because no one can actually counter Nietzsche without going into extremes to counter the apathy. I think it sucked that he acknowledged Nietzsche ideas as the leading contender in modern life, but like many other people doesn't provide an actual satisfying modern answer to this. That's because no one really counter it or requires some deep understanding of the modern world right now. Not history. That's my 2 cents.

[@FoobsTon]

Since when do Harvard Professors have two tickets for the gun show?

[@Samantha-bq8bo]

What if your family hurts you and you’ve tried many times to make it work . But your parents are in the age group of judgement and sometimes coldness . It is a huge loss towards happiness not having family. But you have to leave the situation to stop being set back emotionally. The other note is .. if you’ve lived in poverty success would give you comfort and calmness . It’s just balance . When you’ve struggled forever you don’t really need the struggle to keep going ..the fear keeps you going lol

[@edgar9651]

Moving 20 times? Really? That sounds horrible to me.

[@northernidealist]

Wonderful conversation. I was really hit by the topic of letting your kids see you doing hard things, and having it be okay to fail. I find that I'm a perfectionist, and I often don't let myself get outside of my comfort zone, therefore I'm not risking failure. But I realize that's not what I want my daughters to learn, I want them to dare to do the hard stuff. So I'm going to show them what that looks like. Thanks Chris, as always, really enjoy what you're doing.

[@jimmypontbriand3241]

Love the episode, continue the great work, love the guests everytime!

[@abableeah3070]

Anxiety in society is possibly related to the high rate of caffiene use.

[@Andrew-tx1qc]

Hey Chris just started listening to your podcasts loving your work. getting a lot from them. But this one with Arthur Brooks just blew me away his energy enthusiasm I just couldn’t get enough. Thank you both

[@StrangeTu]

Not sure I agree with the real friend thing (weekly talks). Turning 50 soon and had a best/great friend since age 5 and we talk about once monthly for an hour or so.

[@BrandonAshiyana-zk7se]

No reason for happiness? wah? Way off...It's so much easier to go through life happy as appose to sad and miserable. .. happiness is a helpful characteristic of being human. It's helpful to have joy and happiness... If it was just a miserable life and nothing could be enjoyable..then I'll just kill myself. I wouldn't just survive to survive. Some sort of reason to even get up in the morning. ..."well, I like to get the daily news! " George Costanza

[@Wouldyoulukeatthat]

This guy is so specific to his own experience with his prescriptions. “Listen to Bach” - later explains he was in a choir. “Speak to your friend(s) semi weekly or they aren’t your friend(s)” - then explains that’s how his friends interact. Kinda loses a bit of credit with the specific anecdotal absolutes.

[@jennanelson5453]

To say " we lost a generation" is just extreme and untrue. Majority of mchildhoodod consoled of self loathing, neglect, emotional abuse...oxytocin deficit. I was depressed at the age of 5, homeless and drug addicted by 15, only 5 years ago at 25 did I start my journey down self love and happiness. Despite my past, I consider myself one of the happiest people, because I choose to be. Just because my braindevelopment environment was not conducive to happiness, it doesn't mean it can not be learned.

[@lorimoore5589]

How long was covid? What child " never" got socialization? You had years before covid, even if only 5 years and you still had time with your family. I feel like many people had better family time.

[@noNdeSCRIpt732]

Fuck words like happy and pretty and well-adapted etc. what percentage of your experience has been characterized by contentment? how do we justify the incessant suffering when it fails to be counter balanced by some semblance of positivity? what do we tell these folks? EVERYBODY requires genuine attention and the interest of others, what of those who go without? loneliness is a real Hell and it tends to feel deliberate and specific to those who suffer.

[@hariseldon3786]

Kinda had enough of 'Harvard" at this point --- PhD = Piled Higer and Deeper The evidence of those on his campus makes all what he says specious - like the loving and wise parent who has spoilt unruly kids who manage to annoy all the neighbours bc he is both too benign and going about bleating... all these "rights without enough emphasis on receptibilities - which is exactly what we see on the Harvard campus.

[@b.melakail]

Hmm Thomas Aquinas reference. Chris you can find some commonalities with Bishop Barron on the topic of values. He can also discuss the youth and latin mass culture

[@loonadeux]

“i am the 60 year old version of you.” um, kind of. you have the same type and level od status seeking. but you are very different personalities. chris = ni / fi intj (i think) and orher guy is ne / fe entp. so, some things in common but mostly very different.

[@yveje9720]

Women will also be happier married with kids that’s an even bigger counter cultural message then telling it to men these days. Though I guess in the past when I was younger (90s era) the messaging was always that men hated marriage and women were such a burden to them. That was probably detrimental to young women and girls at the time. Why the hell was this the messaging? What woman would strive for marriage if she thinks her husband only tolerates her and would rather be a bachelor? We only have ourselves to blame for young people’s reluctance and negativity towards marriage and family.

[@mattmurphy6250]

For real or deal friends, what if you just make the deal to be REAL friends?

[@cecilydeshea7222]

This is an excellent episode! I love applicable lessons.

[@surendarvijay2520]

The moment I heard about brahmamuhurta, I switched off. This is some old age nonsense from India, and the reason why we are superstitious and backward.

[@jackiego1]

Dang this guy is so articulate 👏

[@Jose-Sanquizvid]

This about happiness reminds me of a podcast with David and Huberman. When its mention that in life need to have friction to be better and happy overall.

[@itisgarrison]

I've never been this early! Do I win the terminally online award now?

[@TomHolland-mk1zp]

Nah uh

[@flowmovementtherapy2096]

My childhood: 'you are more exceptional than your peers, the world is scary so we will do everything for you, when you go against the grain we will plant doubt under the guise of being concerned, we don't talk about emotions'

[@timbuktu4610]

Totally out of touch. As usual. These podcasters need to interview some average to below average people.

[@idontknow3108]

After I started to listen to this podcast I've become more neurotic as I was befour despite not being ill intentioned

[@ericdraven3654]

Regards from Spain, Arthur, I see you have Spanish connections❤

[@stephenphillips6888]

I have never heard the expression “lower working class” before. Is it a thing?

[@AnaBrigidaGomez]

Looooved this one. One of your best guests!

[@Bjjmtb]

This was a great episode! So insightful!

[@MarthaJane-z8z]

Superb interview. Thank you.

[@eli7527]

This is great, definitely a rewatch

[@BertoBoyd]

You had me at Bach Fugues and Cantatas. Wow. Great stuff!

[@gyldenaas]

Thanks for ignoring the podcaster trend of having a pompus intro trailer❤.

[@NoahSewardD]

I didn't know the guest and I wasn't sure if I was going to watch, so I just clicked, and I heard the first line from him... dang. now I'm going to have to watch the whole thing. Thank you for your incredible content as always Chris 🙏

[@gelatobenne4342]

Energizing and insightful. He took a lot of risks here and it worked out well imo

[@anaszeghari9696]

What a discussion, lots of insights and very compelling questions

[@jessicabenavides9556]

I listen to your show almost every day and it helps me so much, Thank you!!

[@emmanuelmatei3501]

What a conversation! I sadly enjoyed this:):)

[@MyFriendsKitchen]

"What's your Idol" needs to be a short if it's not already

[@KatieM-by7ut]

Chris, you are absolutely smashing it with the guests and the topics right now!!

[@bryancabral]

Who was the guy arthur mentioned you should read? The genius guy lol

[@connormoir1695]

chris williamson you gotta play one night warewolves

[@Arielelian]

The key aspect that professors like his always fail to address is "the emptiness" or "the void". People may interpret this experience as "unhappiness", but it's truly so much more than that. Most of the time, academics approach life from an "absurdism" perspective (a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe), thus don't make it make sense. Just struggle. Just do stuff. As Albert Camus says, "The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." So the solutions proffered are just about "the struggle" (e.g. FINDING purpose in an ultimately meaningless existence), but they fail to recognize the futility of the struggle with no viable end goal (e.g. how exactly does one fill the emptiness). The questioin of "What is the meaning of life?" is something I've been pondering since age 8, and I've certainly learned a great many things from those ponderings. But the most glaring aspect is how frequently "professioinals" and "academics" dodge the simple question of the void...even though they themselves most likely experience it. Just like everyone else.

[@iiNspirex]

I'm asking out of curiosity because I'd like to know more about this. Would an answer like "there is no set/universal meaning of life, everyone needs to define it for themselves and your job is to find what it is for you" be satisfactory and if not, why not?

[@Arielelian]

@@iiNspirex Definitely a valid question and one that's been asked/stated throughout history. Let's discuss the two primary points. ** 1) There's no meaning in life. I once heard a line on an old TV series that said, "We live only because we fear to die." If life has no meaning, then to what end should people struggle? Aside from merely preserving their existence. And why should people be "good"? Or civil? Or follow rules, laws, etc.? Or even subscribe to any set of ethics, except for a utilitarian purpose (i.e. manipulation to get what one wants)? In essence, why should Sisyphus continue rolling the stone up the hill--only to have it drop again--if all is futility? Why should one continually torture themselves for the sole purpose of merely "passing the time."? And why stop people from committing suicide and encouraging them to live...if ultimately their living is futile torture? Thus is the conundrum of life having no meaning, because then life really has no value aside from "passing the time". ** 2) Everyone needs to define for themselves what their meaning is. This is pretty much relativism (i.e. one's meaning is relative to their own pscyhe and whims). Thus, if one decides that their meaning in life is to take over the world, kill a bunch of people, etc., can others make the argument that such a decision is "bad"? Not really, though it doesn't stop others from making a reverse decision to resist. However, no matter how many deaths arise from the conflicts of contrasting "meaning making", it's all still futility. Whether people die, suffer, live, etc., it's all rather pointless. Because life has no meaning, and one's decision to ascribe meaning to one's life is just a different way of "passing the time". If people choose to pass the time in a constructive way, then great. If people choose to pass the time in a destructive way, that's fine too. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. All the sacrifice, suffering, patience, etc. that people are told are virtuous...doesn't matter. One's "meaning for THEIR life"--no matter what it is--is just as good as the next "meaning for life". Thus is the conundrum of relativism. Can humanity exist within these two modalities? Or even accept them? Deep down inside, the majority of humanity rejects them...for reasons they don't know. Except for the single fact that humanity feels they're wrong...hence why they continue to search and struggle.

[@charlenek2502]

i wonder if the question we have been fixating on: are you happy? is even an accurate or relevant one to have? because the more we fixate on "happiness", the more "unhappiness" will become amplified and obvious. perhaps not having these conversations or placing so much emphasis on it will make everyone more happy LOL.

[@charlenek2502]

this obsession or desire to derive answers to happiness, as if there's a formula, is a pretty simplistic one in my opinion. whatever experts say may contain some truth but i dont think it should be used as the be all end all blueprint for everyone. it is extremely generalised and does not take into account individuals and their unique and contextual situations and personalities. i think personality type and a person's innate strengths and weaknesses can have a huge bearing on happiness.

[@guavastorm]

The essence of despair is feeling like a liability to be managed

[@HK-rr6kt]

Healthy and balanced guest. Sound...normal advice...community, transcendence. All the things our ancestors taught us😊

[@Mark-Walsh]

Excellent episode. Thank you

[@AJ-iq9ng]

JBP content with fewer biblical references

[@socalnick509]

"Do something that makes you small and the universe big." Can someone explain this to me a little bit more? Is this referring to finding faith or purpose or your own specific philosophy of life?

[@JSiracusan]

For me, which is my subjective truth, it's like this... our consciousness can expand or contract. I can expand my "consciousness" out enough to understand that I am a spec on a blue dot from far enough away or I can contract it down until I am it, completely selfish and self absorbed the only single point of consciousness that I know. It's all my view, but am I part of something bigger? I can expand out to see my work or my city, or the world and choose to be a part of that, connected, or do I contract down and only be out for myself. when he has Hormozi on, he says "if you zoom out far enough, does it matter?" it's like an inner mantra he has to understand if what he's dealing with has meaning in alignment with his most important values. At different times in life it might feel better to be more contracted, or more expanded OR moving in a contracting direction, like this guy was saying with the marble and the sculptor getting down to the real meaning, your real essence, or expanding direction like trying new things, knocking on the doors of life to see what feels right in this season of life. If we live in a static contraction, then the universe seems small and we are big... whereas with the quote, it's like your sense of wonder is renewed... which is important for things like your capacity to be flexible, to expand, to be curious, to push your edge.... etc. Both are ok and necessary and true and moving. I hope this help. it's a work.

[@nottomclancy2439]

In short: Yes, that is exactly what it is referring to. Once you can find that perspective that you're basically insignifcant in the grand scheme of things, but very significant in the microcosm that is your family / friends / you yourself, it makes much more sense, because you can FEEL it make sense… It's the knowing (theoretically) and knowing from experience. It has to do with relinquishing control and having "faith" that things are going to be alright if you live your life with integrity and give 100% effort and focus on whatever it is you're doing in that moment. Things just come your way when you're "a good man / woman". It's the same things the stoics talk about: A true education is not what you have learned and can spout facts about, it's about knowing what is and what is NOT in your control. What you can not control you have to accept and let go with indifference (which is everything besides how you act, basically) It can be hard to follow such "advice" like you wrote about, without having any philosophical knowledge / spirituality or idea where he is coming from. How to achieve that? Disconnect from technology, go outside for a walk and don't try to do anything besides being outside and walking. You will think about all sorts of things, your brain does what it is supposed to do and you'll find clarity (probalby not immediately though! But if you keep doing it, you will and if not: at least you went outside and got some exercise) No need to actively do anything at all really, just give yourself space TO BE, without judgement, without trying anything… just BE and things will fall in place at some point. (Think of showerthoughts! Why do we have showerthoughts? Because it's the only place we give ourselves space to think and to be uninterrupted and not distracted by technology or others) I highly recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations or Senecas "On the shortness of life - Life is long when you know how to use it"

[@kaze.14]

Thank you so much Chris for everything you do. This was beneficial. I'm listening to this all the way from India.

[@serenityimagesstudio]

him: "why are you on this earth?" me: "man, I don't KNOW. I thought this video was supposed to help me figure that out...!" WTH?

[@seasonedvegan3586]

Interview Dr. Alex Hershaft

[@thzzzt]

No, I think striving for meaning creates more anxiety than it resolves. This is a immense world with "everything, everywhere, all at once". It's impossible to comprehend its (or your) meaning, unless you want to claim omniscience.

[@poggers3218]

I was just watching a bunch of videos with this dude in it, this episode came out at the perfect time

[@JSiracusan]

the question is when Chris's future wife asks him to be home more what does he do? Say no, and she's in her place, but may ditch you for it, say yes and you've lost your mission and she may ditch you for it. That's a tough one and it's not just that.. it's like parental leave and much more to navigate. One thing I've heard on multiple podcasts lately is that, oh yeah , people in the past didn't have that problem, therefore they must've been happy. one example was that widows in the past were happy after their men died, to counter the point of the man saying that women hit the wall and want a man. In this case, that older men didn't have envy before phones and must've been happy in their bubble... I think that is very much speculative and probably just a half truth if that. The older people in my life were not any happier, both men and women. They were just who they were with their own struggles sometimes happy and sometimes not. Does being enlightened mean happy? or just being lighter? This was a great podcast though. I may re-listen because I didn't take notes. I don't think they touched on the marketing of happiness, which became a cultural phenomenon... Like that if you're not happy, then you should be chasing it, or that there's something wrong with you if you're not happy (take a med or something).

[@federoffm]

Hi Chris! Fantastic episode. Arthur Brooks articulate stating of eternal truths is a balm for the soul. If you'd like to sample his daily regimen of spiritual nourishment, take in a Catholic mass. The trick is to find one done properly and reverently by a priest that genuinely loves what he does (not always true, sadly) Fortunately it looks like you have quite a few options. A friend from Austin recommends St. Mary Cathedral downtown w/ Father Daniel Liu, St. John Neumann in Westlake w/ Father Dean Wilhelm, or St. Vincent de Paul w/ Fr. Tom Reitmeyer. Go and sit in the back and take it all in. Just watch. Much of it won't make sense at first, but that's okay. No one's going to bug you or ask why you're there.

[@gingerolinghouse1832]

If you have a very large extended family that you are very close to can that take the place of friends? I don't seem to have the band with for friends beyond my family.

[@caroljohnson5724]

I’m 62 and I’m happy. I have learned to question my thoughts and I’ve realized that those stressful thoughts just aren’t real. I follow Arthur Brooks, have read his book and taken his online courses but he’s still working towards it.

[@WeeTheSheeple]

This guy. For years, I felt and thought as much, and this gentlemen clearly articulated as such.

[@FoobsTon]

The definition of working class and middle class differs between the US and the UK and it's funny to see that in the convo without the parties being aware of it.

[@yuzaR-Data-Science]

absolutely loved this episode! thanks Chris! Arthur Brooks rocks!

[@Itsjtothet]

Sounds like a lot of bs lmao

[@PatrickFletcher]

This guest was awesome!

[@ecsta_chic]

I'd like to know what books Mr. Arthur Brooks has in his background.. 😆

[@daalmightpanda]

Great video ! Love hearing Authors insights and enjoy the great questions you ask. This has to be one of the best KZbin channels on this app! Keep up the great work Chris!

[@CMVOG97]

Wow. Great episode.

[@justinb4368]

Amazing video. They always are but this one really hit right. Thank you both Chris and Arthur

[@immamba8774]

Arthur needs new metaphors - same ole stuff

[@chayblay]

Is there a new episode of Chris interviewing David Buss yet to release?

[@Alpár-Dobos]

almost all episodes are very good but this one is exceptional! will listen to this multiple times!

[@payamism]

What I got from this episode is that Happiness is not a thing; it is an overall direction in your life. Your overall happiness is about your connections with other human beings. It is about the quality of your connections with other human beings. Working hard, working long hours, accumulating wealth, and so on are not going to make you happy. Pleasure is not happiness!

[@bingflosby]

I have multiple sclerosis Am fighting for my life Thank you for your work it’s helping me

[@Boylieboyle]

Well enjoyed that

[@LorenzoBertotti]

Let's thank Arthur for putting special effects on video

[@tokertriuga]

Ever since I found my rumbo my life is much more meaningful

[@c3ka]

39:28 We need a conversation with Gabor Maté on this podcast.

[@Jgordon847]

He’s obnoxious.