Identity Crisis: Why Defining Yourself by Your Career Is a Problem

[@harvardbusinessreview]

If you found Arthur's advice useful, be sure to check out this recent article by him, on the dangers of workaholism: hbr.org/2024/09/youre-more-than-a-success-machine

[@ladfuisvj7032]

hello, the link of the page says there is an error. Could you attach workable link , please?

[@CR-ze5pw]

I learned a long time ago I that no one is indispensable no matter how intelligent, skilled and capable they are. Someone else can do your job.

[@ishtiakjordge]

"Engineer different good times under different circumstances" Wow!! this is wisdom. Thank you

[@j3tztbassman123]

That's what I'm actively working on doing now.

[@darklorddisco]

I've never had a lasting friendship with someone who defined themselves by their career, but I've been blessed with a great number of lifelong friends who define themselves by what they're interested in.

[@TheRealSaintNickNorthside]

Preach

[@Juelz4ever]

the only friends that matter tbh

[@Xdjdjdjrhdbsowodb]

That is exactly what happened to me after working in a company for more than 16 years and initially believing that everyone was my friend or believed in me. But things have changed over the years; we've grown apart, there have been disagreements, and the most frightening thing has been my layoff last year. I was devastated at first and grew bitter. However, I am grateful to the people who have stood by my side outside of my corporate job, such as church and family, and who have helped me to reflect and not to be worried in facing the reality. I am now happier than I ever was in my previous company. Not only that, but I am in a job with great deal of flexibility, even full-time work from home.

[@xcrazy98x51]

Church sucks so does religion

[@SBayrd]

After 16 years? Probably not. Maybe you responded that way because you're insecure about your own work ethic and have fear of being fired for it, think about that

[@blockmasterscott]

That happened to me after retiring from the school district after 20 years, I dropped all my lifetime "friends" like a bad habit after I left, never kept in touch with anyone.

[@heemagauss8691]

I lost my job as a wireless engineer at Huawei in Sudan , right after the war started before year and half , suffered from identity crisis because of that , until I learned to deattach and redifine myself Wish saw this video earlier ☆

[@KhushiSingh-ix6fs]

Woah I’m really sorry about this! Working in STEM in such a big electronics and tech company, you must be a big deal. The best of us think this stuff can never happen to us. Really sad about the war and its repercussions. Take care.

[@felixz2703]

Don’t worry mate, I also left this company. Not because of war but wanted to grow in different field. Less money and lots of uncertainty but learned a lot about myself. Keep it up and all the best for you!

[@heemagauss8691]

Thanks, good luck in your journey

[@YegorBudnikov]

Oh, god, I haven’t even heard about the war. Wishing you a peace of a mind and a peace for your country.

[@StrategicThinking4Leaders]

It's easy to get lost in our careers and let them define us, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all aspects of our identity. Shifting focus from job titles to personal values can lead to a more balanced and joyful life.

[@lilmeowmeow0901]

thank you so much for saying this

[@nepenthe_1610]

Well put

[@winromeo]

May I assume that’s part of the reason why people volunteer? Helping others to help you.

[@advocate1563]

Define yourself by your values. It gives you much more room for manoeuvre.

[@darklorddisco]

And interests!!!

[@winromeo]

Thank you for this. I have been 100% the person who identify myself with my work, always. I love what I do and I’m lucky to love my job coz it’s also my passion, but when work slowed down in 2024, I had a sense of losing myself! That’s when I realized my life should not just be about work! Happy New Year everyone, onwards and upwards to all!

[@urigarcia6441]

“Engeneer new good times under diferent circumstances” is gold

[@RidaFathima-z7u]

I am 21. And I just realised that I've been in an identity crisis from when I was 13. This video blew my mind, cuz I realised where I've been going wrong all my life. Thankyou so much for this.

[@Profile659]

You've hardly lived. Come back when you're 35.

[@bananaman975]

No you come back when you’re 45!

[@Profile659]

@@bananaman975 No you come back when you're 55!

[@dysplasiaanaplasia4128]

Duration doesn't define experience ​@@Profile659

[@asefnak4764]

@@Profile659 lol

[@per_growth]

This is really helpful. For the past few years - I've been telling myself that my financial success cannot be the ONE THING that identifies me. I never thought of it as fear - but now that it's explained in this context - it is fear. The fear of failing (at least in your mind). Incredible insight.

[@GabyMinou]

This video is exactly what we don’t need. It’s empty just like the speaker. Just like society, full of knowledge but completely disconnected from the inner self.😢

[@uguremirmustafaoglu40]

Wow, I am neither a budhist nor heard this idea before but whenever I feel like I will fail, I close my eyes and imagine my funeral. It is a complete relief.

[@dogwalk3]

look up "sky burials"! it's leaving the dead out for vultures, with monks meditating on decomposition the same idea as the speaker in this video mentioned about paintings. i'm a death doula (lol @ context of saying "i'm a" with the video at hand), & so much fear of death is fear of the unknown. so get familiar with it. there's fortunately a lot of accessible material & meditations available.

[@Okay-rc1se]

I just left my inpatient nursing job and have been unemployed for a month and have been always wondering what more I can identify other being a nurse at hospital. I am still learning this and and this video couldn’t have been perfect timing!

[@ananddoctor5898]

😊 wow . Be strong

[@Okay-rc1se]

Thank you! I now work as a nurse at clinic.. I trusted the process but I am still working on my identify as a human being

[@maciejdworzanski5063]

Wow! My jaw is somewhere on the floor now. Didn't expect this depth and spirituality from HBR. Amazing video, and so inspiring! Big thanks

[@yichispiritual]

Yeh, todays trend

[@grandjette]

Aside from letting go and being grateful for the opportunity to be part of building up society, I have a desire to continue being part of building up society in my own little way. Rather than looking at success in grandiosity, I want to reconnect and witness the growth of virtues in others.

[@ksenjkai.9429]

This video made me think of my mum. She was a teacher her entire life, but she’s been retired for 25 years now. Even so, it still seems to hurt her that her former colleagues don’t remember her anymore. Nobody calls or wishes her a happy Teacher’s Day. I never really considered that this might be a side effect of an identity crisis. But honestly, it’s been 25 years-of course, people have moved on. Definitely food for thought.

[@blockmasterscott]

I was a custodian for 20 years, and I understand why. The school district is a way of life, not a job. It's like the Marine Corps, I know because I was in the Corps. You get so involved that it's hard to let go. And the people that don't retire resent the ones that do. Your mom did the right thing by retiring. My hat's off to her.

[@lokhandetejasliladhar4216]

'Managing your life as a project' - Wowww level analogy

[@worldtraveller4613]

My party is finished two weeks back. I am in shock. Very refreshing to watch this video

[@NESherv]

You’re dead?

[@armijinyawa]

@@NESherv😂

[@jrodartec]

I fist stumbled upon Arthur's work on Peter Attia's podcast and, since then, have followed him closely. His ideas are extremely simple, yet very useful and pragmatic. I arranged a "Happiness Workshop" based on Arthur's work for my wife and I during our honeymoon, while we stayed in a bamboo house in the middle of Indonesia, and that was a truly important momment that I treasure deeply. One of the activities of this workshop was a death meditation related to our own wedding and private lives. While it may sound weird to start off a marriage talking about the inevitable death of it, that was actually crucial for us, keeping our fears on the surface and not letting them feast on us while buried below our subconsciousness. I actually suggest that as a bonding exercise with your loved ones. Best of love, mates!

[@patriciagutierrez9465]

"people are so afraid of failing at work" never been less related to a phrase in my life. My job is just something that pays my bill. At most, I'm afraid of loosing the capacity to pay my bills, but that's it.

[@muzzammilaltaf]

I am seeing this, hearing this, feeling this at a moment in time in my life when I have been contemplating this. Arthur has a direct way of sharing a topic that most would consider sensitive, yet it has resonated with me in a good way. Looking forward to exploring this book sometime.

[@saurovfayzulla]

Yes, feeling afraid, fearful, or failing is normal, and I think we often feel anxious about it and about what people think. What should I do? Arthur’s remark about meditation being one of the good solutions to our problems is helpful.

[@EvolveByNEC]

Thanks HBR. Important to do and hard to practice. Many of us start working and making money at a young age, and we work past 65 years old these days, it’s hard not to be identity as your work, we want that validation that what one does matters. But, keep practicing this everyone! You are not your work, be your best and find the right role/team.

[@mellow-jello]

Thank you Arthur Brooks for the 9-part meditation, as it puts in real perspective the legitimate boundaries between one's life, and one's career. I had similar thoughts, and some points resonated with me, albeit in an unstructured way. This mediation will fit well in my self reflection toolbox.

[@nespodzany]

I think I had several micro-anxiety attacks watching this video

[@jman2871]

I did too

[@EstewCA]

@nespodzany But did you feel at peace after this piece?

[@nespodzany]

@@EstewCA I don't think I'm there quite yet, need more active practice.

[@kaderoscope]

😂

[@teombe2081]

Me toooo 😭

[@MyKrabi]

As a Buddhist who has been practicing for 15 years - I really DIG the cheerful jazz in the background lol. (Trying to live in the moment ...;-)

[@RakeanRadya]

I love this new Arthur Brooks series from HBR, he brings this tone of breezy candidness that balances the elegant seriousness of the subject matter. Please keep this up!

[@youllloseagoodthingmovie2109]

I have to say I love this moment in history when enlightened media like this is popular and commonly accessible.

[@YT3am]

This hit home! It’s crazy how an identity crisis can feel so overwhelming, but also be a chance for growth and self-discovery. 🙌 Thanks for shedding light on such a relatable topic. Anyone else feel like they’ve had to 'find themselves' more than once?

[@abbasmahammed2514]

Thanks for this man, you are not your job, you are not your accomplishments, you are not your career, you are none of that.

[@javiercastro077]

I’m 20 years old and studying Law. I’ve been feeling ineffective and exhausted for a while now. The fear of failure has grown into overwhelming anxiety, even though I perform very well in my studies. Despite everything, I’ve stressed myself out so much that I can no longer concentrate completely. My friends keep making progress-reading, completing assignments, moving forward-while I feel stuck, paralyzed by stress. I’ve always been well-regarded at school for being a competent student, and now I’m afraid of being looked down on for underperforming. I need to accept that failure, sooner or later, is inevitable. I have to overcome this fear now.

[@ericmouchel8328]

Very easy to be at peace when you don’t have money problem

[@UNMEASURED100]

Exactly.

[@AB.926]

Started thinking about this in my late 20s and I am happier for it. Left my career as a senior leader and became a full time artist eventually, and needless to say I am ok to not even be defined by that as long as I am happy and content enjoying life and fulfilling my purpose.

[@andrewjpalla]

This video is so intense. Exposure therapy to the worst possible fears.

[@ananddoctor5898]

😅

[@NealSoloponte]

It is always nice to listen to this guy (especially when he leaves the ending with religious advice out!)

[@JimDubendorf]

The death meditation is also known in the western/christian practice as “momento mori”. Very powerful practice. I appreciate your commentary, thank you!

[@gnomishviking3013]

That is neither a western nor Christian practice fyi.

[@SSwingjohnnie]

People love Eastern wisdom because it feels all zen and universal, while Christian ideas like memento mori get ignored for being “too religious.” Guess it’s cooler to meditate on death if it comes with incense and a Buddha statue.

[@gnomishviking3013]

@@SSwingjohnnie Memento Mori came from roman philosophy, not christianity.

[@elliegrizz]

If this video is an hour or two of wisdom and work therapy from Professor Arthur C. Brooks so be it! We need it. Please share it HBR!!

[@zhangshiyucao]

I choose to be special instead of happy... that is a succinct way to put it.

[@SouvikDas123]

I love this guy now. Great wisdom without being preachy.

[@jasminhamilton1147]

You are so much more than what you do!🎉 We are multifaceted creators! Failure is a part of learning!

[@twilde3754]

I have always told my children that my job doesn't define me but allows me to do the things in life that do. Should I lose the job, I will find another one so I can continue doing those things. Pretty simple.

[@jubyjoseph6332]

Arthur C. Brooks has truly found Nirvana, to be able to speak like this. Now, I want some of it too.

[@MyHanck]

We should be free to be ourselves and to be real. It is essential to our well-being and we neglect this at our own peril and demise.

[@noellewest4347]

I love this. I'm not in business, but I am in academia, and I am getting older. His words resonate and his advice is applicable to me too.

[@ngideo]

I need to rewatch this every month

[@TeddyBear-dk7tk]

Every week for me 😅

[@loxleybattle2591]

This is a powerful meditation tool and I think I can apply it to almost any shift or upcoming change… like aging. Thank you for the insight!

[@sportlams]

this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood

[@Shaunmaselela.icloud]

Tailored suit is 👌

[@richardthoya4782]

Ikr... Was scrolling to see who else caught that.

[@kates5617]

This man should give a Ted Talk. Beautiful speaker.

[@paramitacdewi]

I feel like this practice needs to be monitored by good therapists cause despite its benefit, it may be suitable for people with anxiety, but may not be for someone with depression. For people with depression, what can help lift them up each day is hope, but reminding themselves about their worst fears, it's not the kind of mindset that's suitable for someone who's already lost hope in life. They'd forget the "despite changes, it's going to be okay" part and focus on the negatives instead

[@jeffreydaniels7519]

Very sharp wardrobe! Thought provoking perspective.

[@assakurayoh]

This is why I love Hardvard Content, It's so smart, people are so smart ! Killing you identity so is why people ponder over their deaths, the deaths lost their identity. I truly love smart content, it's so comforting in the misdt of useless content. On the other side, as a personal story I'd like to share, I have never got a loss for perhaps all my life, and then I started an entrepreneurial journey and everything has only been about losing

[@jodykaufman4080]

Wow, what a straight forward yet amazing presentation of some simple, but hard truths. More of this guy please.

[@andmand]

This man's communication skills are impressive

[@kdb_7223]

Contemplating on tha verses of the Qur'an brings you to reality - it helped me in this life on so many steps and honestly one doesn't need to be a Muslim to understand what it's saying as most of it is plain understandable

[@lokhandetejasliladhar4216]

Please keep on this series ! Mr. Brooks is transferring out-of-world wisdom that we desperately need .

[@lalat5899]

People really need this right now.

[@danielaortiz8737]

This was one of the best videos I’ve seen in a while. Felt like a guided meditation for information I didn’t know I needed. Cheers.

[@laurencechow4793]

this is super mindblowing and helpful at the same time.. thank you

[@cmep]

This is excellent advise. Every student should hear this at the beginning of each year (to be sure it actually sinks in - lol).

[@andreelliott467]

I have those exact realizations and i understand the reality of why i do and deal with it.

[@sevilla2187]

In my last two jobs, I got a label with my name that I was supposed to stick to my desk after removing the label with the previous employee's name. I guess it was a way to show others that it was my place at work, but I knew it never was because all of us are just dispensable and replaceable. So, I took the label with my name home and left the one with the other name on the desk as a reminder of my temporary link to this particular job.

[@endgamefond]

As I get older I realise how much money I make is how much value I have. This makes me have an existential crisis especially when my job does not impact people's lives that much or when I am unemployed. This is depressing. Yeah it's like fear of death. I wanna leave something behind that's useful for other people and Idk what it's.

[@kasiapetruk6730]

I think here it may be worth looking outside of job: try to volunteer, sit on a board or as trustee of some non profit organization that is close to your values. Even if that is an hour a week being engaged in service for others can make you feel better. Or different approach - maybe your job itself does not bring much of a value to average people or planet (lots of jobs don’t as business is there to make money, not to serve) BUT the means you have because of that job can be a contribution to something altruistic, i.e donations to charities etc.

[@anonimo5912]

Want to leave something useful for people? Yeah, then that "something" needs to be bigger than yourself, and that's your tribe and your family, a dinasty, a legacy.

[@DakotaFord592]

Why don't you write a book? All humans can pass down some form of knowledge.

[@endgamefond]

@@DakotaFord592 I upload my lessons online. I am a teacher but I teach online. Part of me thinks it's part of my immortality. When I die I hope someone or some people can get something from my lessons I upload on KZbin. It's more detailed and I actually spent hours on editing and making graphic designs so I hope one day they can appreciate my video lessons.

[@AB.926]

If you keep looking the answer eventually comes. A good starting point is to know what is it you don't want and eventually you will find what is it you do want.

[@thaihealthylung]

Thankyou

[@user-gz1lm1vm8b]

loveee this! I say being a muslim, I went through this exact same thought process. And now I'm just living my life, fully aware of the reality I'm in, and tryna secure that highest rank in the hereafter. We all ARE a cog in the grand scheme of things, but its not a bad thing when you know whose controlling it

[@bathiyawickramage3982]

Awesome Content. 🔥 And the correct word is "Marananussathi" which loosely translates to "Keep the death in mind" ~A Buddhist from Sri Lanka~

[@TheMangyCalf]

I have an identity I am desperarely afraid of failing at, this is getting right at me at less than a minute in.

[@atifsheikh3190]

Thanks for sharing these thoughts! A great new perspective indeed.

[@alexandrayla]

Thanks for sharing. Without decomposition, there is no nutrients for the soil, and hence growth. 😊

[@souhilbenaskeur1094]

There should come an end to all our projects in this life... this is a truth

[@vvmanimadhuri]

I am thinking of similar trajectory for parents since their child is born and until they leave the nest. Thank you for the video. The Buddhist practices are helpful for people who are not monks as well

[@Jaredbbishop93]

This guy is crazy insightful! I love these videos

[@darinakalinova2180]

Interesting, I have very pragmatic approach. My job doesn't define who I am. What is the most important is what I am doing to feel like I am progressing in my life.

[@amirsadeghi2571]

It was a helpful video, this is somehow related to the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer. He was one of the first Western philosophers to combine Western philosophy and Buddhism.

[@BossNzzle]

As a motion designer and graphic designer, I typically watch these videos for inspiration in my own work. However, this video struck a chord with me and was truly inspiring, not just from a visual standpoint, but also because of Arthur C. Brooks' perspective.

[@O-Demi]

Those steps sound great to me though! Retirement is a great prospect! I think for me a 9 step meditation should include the horrors of being replaced by AI in the field where I enjoy working.

[@Anthony-p6d5u]

All I had to do to was take a vacation to realize that my existence at work is nothing but a body that produces labor. If I am not there, people will fill in the gap. Eventually they'll just outright replace me and move on. The way I feel about my position and status at work is purely about ego. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can let go

[@collinrutherford2324]

Preparing mentally for the end of a career helps reduce fear and allows us to live more fully in the present.

[@emirhandemir3872]

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

[@paulnevelos3923]

Simple, yet powerful…thank you

[@ccbedardable]

Wonderful and timely. Wish HBR had not opted for the music in the background.

[@rubenv.p.6344]

Excellent advice and practise! Thank you very much!

[@sakshambhadoria9998]

Professional identities and roles have come to define and dictate every aspect of a individual's life in the modern world. That's quite problematic as personality traits of the individual are socially ignored. The perception of the person is also directly linked to its financial condition and status.

[@touchvichet3806]

I am very glad to here that. Thank you so much

[@kianashirangi]

This was like a hard slap at my face,,, thank you.

[@nedgey]

Well done. This is great.

[@923ap]

Very good, would like to see more of him.

[@joeovip]

Beautiful message, thank you.

[@ramesh_i1]

So long as one is part of society one will always seek one's identity within that society. Only humans who live in extreme conditions (far removed from human civilization) or those who are self-actualised and no longer identify with even their own body can avoid this "identity crisis". "Who we are" is a dynamic question, so the answer can't be static either.

[@stevenovetsky3274]

Brilliant, thank you.

[@EquinoXReZ]

Submitting to Allah has given me the ultimate peace. I recommend it to all my brothers and sisters in humanity. Peace be upon you.

[@CybillJohnson-y1u]

Thank you!

[@chaoliu]

It’s a very interesting practice the maranasati meditation. I’m wondering how one can mindfully differentiate this and catastrophizing. At a glance both are thought processes leading to the worst scenario.

[@patrick07124]

he is a sage

[@aadityapratap007]

This has been the core of our philosophy and having been as a professional makes so much more sense to me. Defining yourself by your career traps you in a cycle of endless striving, but embracing the principles of dharma and letting go of attachment to outcomes can help you transcend this and lead a more meaningful, balanced life. It advocates for a dilution of the ego by selflessly performing one’s duties, or karma, with the ultimate goal of uniting with Brahman-the supreme, omnipresent cosmic consciousness. This ancient wisdom reminds us that we are far more than our titles or professional roles, and real fulfillment comes not from external success, but from realizing the deeper, interconnected nature of our existence.

[@mejdabensoltana5780]

I enjoy learning from you. Thank you for sharing the knowledge 🙏

[@amangoyal1999]

Wow, this video is amazing.

[@yaaat7400]

So in short imagining a career nightmare will set me free? Very interesting and counter intuitive! As a person who always have too much thought and worries of others judgement, should I try this instead of repeating self empowerment comment?