WORST APOLOGY EVER

[@Just_a_turtle_chad]

"I'm not a groomer, just a loser" is SUCH dangerous concept to put out into the world.

[@varisleek3360]

Point

[@akgfilming]

turtle is the true leader of the online left

[@murkyhydra6351]

To be fair, half of that statement is correct.

[@LymbicSystemuwu]

@@akgfilming ...Then why do I see him shit on leftists under Destiny's videos?

[@RamzalTimble]

I don't even know what's happening anymore!!!! XD

[@Maxisamo1]

You know the apology is awful when people who haven't even heard of her can watch this and immediately find her guilty

[@pinkteacrotchdweller6869]

hey man it's the parents fault they were at her show

[@YasseFlipp]

@@pinkteacrotchdweller6869oh please? She’s still in the wrong

[@pinkteacrotchdweller6869]

@@YasseFlipp it obviously was sarcasm you dull knife

[@aidanmccarthy9249]

That's because there is no quicker way for people to think you are diddling kids than to write a song about it.

[@hellsjamfleas]

​@@aidanmccarthy9249She's living an Always Sunny In Philadelphia joke.

[@apolloismydad]

“I’m not a pedo, you’re just toxic” got it

[@daanmollema6366]

Judges gonna have a rough time convicting her without being toxic!!

[@mathildesadeghi9867]

"and im not a gaslighter!!"

[@AwesomeReshiram]

my "not a kid diddler" song has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my song

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

She asked lil boys to see their asses and stuff lol wtff!!!

[@nailinthefashion]

​@@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342"I asked a 9 year old boy to eat snacks from the crotch of my pants but I'm not actually attracted to minors" so you're creepy but don't wanna admit it...

[@Sound_Escapism]

She sat down, wrote the lyrics, memorized the lyrics, wrote the chords, filmed it, had to render the video, and had zero insight that this could be a bad idea

[@robynd.4413]

and also probably messed up and had to re-record it a hundred times to get the dramatic sighs just right

[@paulipaz]

She even says in the song that her PR team told her not to post anything. She was hard at work defecting this one.

[@samanthasoares4806]

As a trans person who gets called groomer on a daily basis it's rich coming from an actual groomer that the words she hears are "life ruining"

[@meagtaylor3392]

I was thinking the same thing. Zero awareness.

[@ohshiditsgriff2793]

People seriously think that extreme privilege has nothing to do with a person's likelihood of abusing others, when literally 80% of people on registries that this woman should be on are cishet white men, and *those* people on the lists are just the ones that get caught and tried. The amount of societal power a person has is directly proportional to the amount of harm that they're able and willing to inflict on others, due to the increasing sense that they deserve to have whatever they want the higher their status becomes. If youre a cishet white woman who made a lot of money off of children and grew a huge following of young kids, you're far more likely than any trans person to be a gr00mer, imo

[@mspaint93]

I was literally thinking that. If a trans person said a single line she has here, we'd ALL take the heat for it. But this moron can be an actual predator and hey, it's not her fault right? Fucken pathetic.

[@fighthive4808]

@@ohshiditsgriff2793i’ve gotta clarify that in that Interpol report you’re citing, it doesn’t say that 80% are cishet white men. It says, “where it was possible to categorise offender ethnicity, the vast majority (78.84%) were white.” Multiply .7884 by the percentage of offenders they were able to verify male (92%) and it’s 70% white men. However, they were only able to verify age and race in a very small percentage of cases; It was not possible to categorize the ethnicity of offenders “in over three quarters (76.4%) of cases”, and it was not possible to identify the gender of the offender in “well over half of cases (55.3%).” All that being said, while you are right that white men have been confirmed as offenders most often, I don’t exactly agree with your hypothesis that positions of power or heightened sense of self are what lead you down that road. Especially considering another report on demographic indicators for likelihood to offend measured the three most significant variables as 1) Income Range 2) Unemployment 3) Violent Crime Rate in Area (Socioeconomic and Demographic Correlates of Sex Offender Residency in Massachusetts, Chiavelli, 2019)

[@ohshiditsgriff2793]

@@fighthive4808 Damn, thank you for the correction! I didn't realize I was misrepresenting that data, that's my bad. I was basing my theory on some of the studies from Some More News's video called "Are the Rich Okay?", wherein studies and individual people described how increased power and capital distorts one's view of the world and themselves. The rich, who are largely white cishet men, tend to arbitrarily break laws because of the relative lack of consequences for themselves. (They can afford bail, tickets, lawyers, etc.) Coupled with the known epidemic of rich men in positions of power being inappropriate towards others around them, and how white men at large are protected from scrutiny when allegations come out. In my mind, I linked those two factors, but admittedly, that is the case specifically for people who are very rich. That said, richness, whiteness and maleness in the traditional sense are all linked together, putting very specific people up at the top and causing that kind of entitled "I do what I want" behavior *in* the ultra-rich. They feel that they are more valueable than others in society, because they are literally given more value and power. But if the factors you mentioned are proven to be more indicitive, then yeah, that's far better to know, and I'm glad you shared that! I guess I just mean that the lingering removal from society at large that being rich/famous can cause made sense to me as to why Colleen is so uncritical of her own actions. My thought was that she isn't part of the regular average person group anymore, so regular average person rules are more muddled for her due to her relative position of power, which trans people and people of color are rarely awarded. That's why I said that someone like her is more likely to do something like that and not understand why it's wrong and gross than any trans person would be, making the distinction between those with power and capital and those without. My logic may be flawed and abstract, though, especially given that you pointed out how there are better indicators as to the likelihood of being an offender

[@sybill123ful]

i feel like even for people that have no idea who she is, she made herself look extremely guilty

[@Nicpick]

I have no idea who she is. This is cringe as hell. Not an apology that seems very apologetic.

[@hopelessromantic3786]

I just feel like she's going to make so many people more aware of what she did. This was so cringe it went viral, people who have no idea who she is are going to look up what she's talking about and realize this was a ten minute ukulele solo about grooming twelve year olds. I don't understand what she hoped to achieve here.

[@Burkesworth]

Get ready for my ultimate move; STREISANDDD BLASSTTT!!!!! 🎸🎸🎸

[@TonyCox1351]

I kind of feel like she admits to it so there’s no question of whether or not she’s guilty. She doesn’t seem sorry is all

[@knickknack675]

This 100% had a huge Streisand effect

[@Jxe9515]

This is an ANTI-apology. She literally said “I’m not sorry, no”.

[@nailinthefashion]

It's an excuse video, it's dumb

[@Smirfs]

good.

[@brentoncarter4275]

I mean setting an apology to the backdrop of a ukulele is making a parody of any perceived apology lol

[@JDoe-gf5oz]

If she's not guilty then there's nothing to apologize for.

[@patiotaiza]

​@@JDoe-gf5ozthe issue is she is

[@VibeJem]

it feels like she perfectly crafted the WORST apology actually possible

[@Gingermycat]

She was like I have no way to get out of this so I'm going to do the worst thing possible to hopefully profit off of it 😂

[@DubhghlasMacDubhghlas]

Funny how this is not even apology she is just saying everything is fake news. To call it apology is just false.

[@sizskie]

@@DubhghlasMacDubhghlas "i feel bad but also i didn't do it but also if i had done it, it's cause the victims were asking for it"

[@jaquandrejones]

​@DubhghlasMacDubhghlas almost sounds like trump. "YES I DID IT. and I would have it longer if they hasn't stopped me, but I'm also innocent."

[@VibeJem]

@@jaquandrejones ^

[@markpasichnyk5086]

Her apology has 60k likes and 540k dislikes. I think that's all that needs to be said.

[@nainikamukherjee1206]

how did you find the number of dislikes?

[@j-Gappy-h]

@@nainikamukherjee1206There are Chrome extensions for it

[@EddieMachetti]

@@nainikamukherjee1206I am also curious

[@lowkeyykiraa]

@@j-Gappy-hi love ur pfp

[@icu3869]

WAIT- ididn't want a one-way ticket to "Misinformation Station"! I hate this place- and the music is terrible.This is like a hostage situation-WTF?!

[@tomatoflight]

Even if she was completely innocent and everyone was wrong this would still be the absolute worst way to address it...

[@fiftyzanes]

i like ur profile picture

[@CatieAndHerCats]

She committed the number 1 internet sin: being cringe.

[@dumpsta-divrr365]

It's actually crazy, she could have just done a run of the mill shit apology and probably wouldn't have made waves outside of the people that already cared about the situation. But make something THIS cringey? Now everyone knows you're a groomer lol. This is like newsworthy levels of cringe

[@xdn22]

also pedophilia (real crime)

[@Nicpick]

​@@xdn22 She performed with a ukulele? You're supposed to "forgive" her. Duhh. Jk

[@CatieAndHerCats]

@@xdn22 Yes, that's the joke. The internet lets predators and criminals get a pass but as soon as you do something cringe, your career is done.

[@calebkent6706]

Fax Not only is she an “edp” but shes cringe

[@alttabs]

“There is no quicker way for people to think that you're diddling kids than by writing a song about it” - Mac, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[@supergluehotty]

Oh Gawd. This comment had me laughing.

[@Dante3214]

damnit i forgot about this episode. It's so apt here it hurts

[@sicklecuthammerfall]

frank's song was better

[@riyasudana2995]

oh my god pls YEAHBEOEBBE

[@CreatEr1n]

Her song has the same energy as Dee's song about not sleeping with a boy in The Nightman Cometh.

[@TheEngineerYTDS]

The irony of her playing her song in A minor given she's been accused of grooming A minor(s)

[@Wraiven22]

Wait are you serious?!! Oh my god???

[@kill_jail]

omgg

[@scalley]

I love you.

[@SWOLEX_1]

UNDERATED COMMENT

[@KR-mm4el]

it's in g major actually 🤓🤓🤓🤓

[@femmecomm]

Actually, grooming children DOES make you a terrible person. Hope this helps!

[@diane9812]

She asked a 9 year old to reach down her pants for a snack. If a man did that, jail. Everything is bad, but there is zero question that that is disgusting.

[@Yuu-pn9dg]

It annoys tf outta me how y’all ALWAYS say shit like “if a man-“ MEN absolutely have done shit even WORSE than this and got away with it OR did get away with it for a very very long time. Let’s stop making this about sex. 💀

[@diane9812]

@@Yuu-pn9dg people say that because for some reason, people give women more of a pass when it comes to this kind of stuff. Yes men get away with shit. But a 9 year old on camera being asked to reach down a man’s pants would have gotten a VERY different response from the audience.

[@myasmith1820]

@@Yuu-pn9dgThere is a double standard with men and women who interact with children.

[@jurxzy]

@@Yuu-pn9dg It annoys tf outta you that people are pointing out a clear double standard? Ask you father to ask a little girl to put her hands down his pants for a snack and compare the audience response between colleen and him.

[@leticia-zo8pd]

@@diane9812 and why do you think people don’t trust men around children? like there is a reason for that lol

[@brooklynndossey4183]

she put more energy and effort into those lil vocal runs then she did taking actual accountability. this can’t be real life

[@nailinthefashion]

Whoaaaaaaaoohhhhhhh oh nooooooo

[@genesissmg]

Lmaaoo😂😂

[@Psykells]

Just think, she probably even did multiple takes of this

[@LokiBeckonswow]

damn good point, this was so painful but also a crazy insight into how crazy she is yikes, most people would never even be capable of 10% of this terrible video she made, good that it's shown here clearly for all on the internet to learn from

[@ggl2253]

​@@PsykellsI saw someone say "there's a first draft of this" and I can't stop thinking about that

[@nobodieknows45673]

Do you know how horrible an apology has to be for Hasan to sit there mouth wide open

[@gargles5270]

that part in the vod had me cackling bc he sat like that for longer than in this video, mouth agape

[@hausof9tarot]

Mans was frozen for a hot minute

[@Yuno999.]

Had to process what she said. It's almost absurd. 😂

[@nailinthefashion]

​@@Yuno999.we passed absurd years ago when she created the Miranda character lol

[@Smirfs]

imagine watching hasan Lmfao

[@UnstableYT-u7k]

She’s the definition of “I’m sorry but I’m not sorry.”

[@mrpw1402]

‘I’m sorry that’s you're mad at me’ type person

[@MarillSweatshirt]

*embodiment

[@liloreoinya]

Sorry for losing her sponsorships.

[@RaytheonNublinski]

For what tho? All I ever see is people talking where’s some evidence?

[@aventurussy]

this isn't even her apology she thinks they owe her an apology it looks like lol

[@lordouidward9992]

I am 20 years old and talking to anyone under 18 about anything to do with my personal life makes me uncomfortable :D Talking to minors like that isnt a "mistake", you cannot do what she did unintentionally

[@julisakyani6306]

Literally! I'm 22 and I find anyone under 20 a child!😂 How at 33 she could be "friends" with 13 year olds in beyond me!

[@coolpasta2644]

like being "besties" with a child is WEIRD. no sane adult wants to do that so idk why she's trying to gaslight us into thinking that it is

[@sandrae2398]

Its not just that, she also on top of it used their love for her to get them to do things for her - spread hate to others and free labour too (in the case of Adam) or dirt cheap, below min wage labour (Johnny)

[@Emily-xy2ul]

Im turning 27 this year, I cannot even imagine myself speaking to or even looking in the general direction of someone under 22. It’s bizarre. That being said, I was groomed at 15 by people who were about my age currently so I already lost faith in humanity that long ago.

[@Serpico_Digg]

@@coolpasta2644 no fr 😭I joined a lil discord group that does lil stuff for my hobby got acceppted and boom all I see is 12,13, and 14 year olds. The way I had to run, like nun was weird but they were so cringe calling me unnie 💀 like idk how we can be over 20-22 talking to anything under 19 as friends let alone 33 to a 13 year old

[@cheshta8404]

Being in group chats with minors where she’s asking them about their sexual experiences, etc. is not weird it’s gross and pedophilic 🤢

[@nullskey8370]

adam asked for question for his q&a and she suggested some things that were common in teens video q&a at the time, of the bad interaction this was kinda a normal one

[@moonamigi]

She also sent then pxrn and asked for pics of them...yikes

[@Idiot_TaylorsVersion]

And weird

[@Idiot_TaylorsVersion]

@@moonamiginot just that, she sent them her best friends (Trisha’s) p0rN purely just to make fun of her body

[@johansmallberries9874]

I like that she can’t walk any of this back as “real and unscripted”. It’s a 10 minute song with lyrics and a hook. She for real sat down and said “what rhymes with groomer…”

[@Remedy462]

Colleen Ballinger rhymes with groomer.

[@alexkehoepwj]

For those of you talking shit because she doesnt switch up the chords, let me educate you. Once she slips into A minor, she stays there until completion

[@xp7575]

Best re-write of the top comment Waaaaaay better than the original

[@WetRatGaming]

💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@Romanticoutlaw]

💀 nooOOOOOOOO

[@brycesumrall7248]

Holy shit man that was impressive levels of savage. 10/10 you got my vote

[@Lil1kv]

😦😦😦

[@toddsutherland]

I’ve watched like 4 reactions to this apology and it doesn’t get old watching people see this

[@wildgrapesoda]

The pure shock at the audacity is so entertaining 😂

[@idkwhattohaveasausername5828]

Seeing everyone’s reaction to her singing is hilarious

[@vihmaussivenitaja]

Her train wreck is really catchy :D

[@JareththeGoblinKing86]

By far Nickisnotgreen’s reaction is the closest to the one I had and the most entertaining. He was fully losing his mind

[@IsisSururu]

@@JareththeGoblinKing86 yessss, he was so anxious for her to finally address the situation, literally christmas for us

[@lucagacy]

fart joke is not equal to sexualizing a sixteen year old on a stage in front of hundreds of people wtf. the insane amount of narcissism hurts me that she has no idea what she did.

[@harmony8623]

It’s not narcissism, it’s just gaslighting, manipulative, toxic behaviour. None of which is narcissistic, as that solely means liking attention (in basic terms). Besides, to be a narcissist, you need to have NPD, as that’s the term for people with NPD. Cluster B ableism isn’t cool regardless of who it’s towards :)

[@Funeral_Mannequin]

@harmony8623 Lol thank you. People will cry online when people use “depressed” or “anxious” casually but then turn around and use narcissistic to describe anyone they don’t like.

[@horseydino]

this applogy makes me feel so yucky 🤮 im sorry girl you took ZERO accountability. you literally described everything as a "lie" or "manipulation".

[@deusvult6229]

"I didn't do anything wrong you're just lying but if i did then i'm kinda sorry but i'm still good and you're toxic for saying i did something wrong and you also ruined my life or something idk i'm in the right here because uhhhhh cancel culture something something"

[@Remedy462]

I just took a shower earlier and, not lying, this actually does make me feel gross and that I need another shower.

[@Cuddlefunny]

No, she did take accountability. Years ago, about the parts about this that are true. If you want to see an apology from her, watch the one she made at the time.

[@daneater957]

Hasan is right, she would do wonders for the catholic church. The lyrics "I'm sorry I didn't realize that all of you are perfect" are essentially the secular version of "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." She's already got the talking points down!

[@edithputhy4948]

I think Hasan is acting awfully judgmental here considering the fact that she's not accused of being sexually involved with anyone while he solicited a prostitute and basically leveraging his socioeconomic status to make someone have sex with him which I find more predatory tbh

[@OGslays]

Do you remember when hasan defended teachers grooming children based on gender and thought it was okay to hide it from parents? Remember when hasan says it's okay to groom children if the parents are "transph0b!c" because parents who want to protect children don't deserve children but groomers and pedo should be allowed to?

[@FlutterBye-gk5ec]

Fr

[@Anotherfunnyword]

Impressive how she managed to squeeze in all the KZbinr apology clichés. - Don't address any of the ACTUAL allegations, instead just say that there are people making stuff up - Talk about how much it has made things harder for you (not because of regret, but because people are being mean) - Make sure to thank people who have supported you.

[@sparklesparklemoo]

All she left out was fake crying and a dog

[@imnotherermtomakefriends]

Don’t forget looking extremely sad & downcast 😔 Say(sing) you re taking accountability & have changed despite not Blame everyone else

[@annieroberts1910]

Grow up really your comments are shameful

[@psychicbyinternet]

Also: - Bring up how much you hate cancel culture. - Use the phrase "taking accountability" without actually doing it

[@imnotherermtomakefriends]

@@psychicbyinternet and I didn’t do it but if I did do it I didn’t mean it

[@khaIid624]

She really should've exercised her MIRANDA RIGHTS 🤣🤣

[@WeeWeeJumbo]

oh my god bro

[@khaIid624]

@@WeeWeeJumbo I had to 😭😭

[@talyahr3302]

Okay but I'm confused. Did she bring up Miranda Sings because she's the chick from Miranda Sings? EDIT: I Googled and omg she ISSS!!! Lol. I never watched her channel so I didn't know. I was pretty active on old KZbin as a kid and liked the silly stuff (like Fred) but I never watched a single Miranda Sings video even when she was at peak hype because she always seemed like a *genuine* weirdo to me and apparently I was more correct than child-me could've known. Glad I didn't become a fan of hers now. Ew.

[@khaIid624]

@@talyahr3302 It's a play on Miranda Rights (the right to remain silent) and her character Miranda yeah 😭😭

[@Ramberta]

CACKLING THANK YOU

[@HScarlet]

She's like "I saw them as my friends"... Who sends their friends their underwear? That's what a sex offender does.

[@Morning_Panda]

It's bizzare when "influencers" apologize by saying "we all make mistakes." Like, yeah, I used salt instead of sugar in my cookies, you groomed children. We all make mistakes. 🤷‍♂

[@webdrude]

I think as a community we should STOP calling these "apology videos". a true apology requires some things... but a lot of people are confused about that. as a category these are "accusation response videos". arguably, this song isn't even a reaction to the accusations, but the harassment she's feeling from online response.

[@SPACE.KITTY.]

Thank you! I’m so annoyed by everyone calling this and the Sienna Mae dance “apology videos”.

[@TimothyCHenderson]

The term "apology video" has grown to include context that ranges from insincere to straight out response and/or denial.

[@theangryambisextress]

​@@TimothyCHenderson exactly. i think the terms we currently have more than suffice. "apology video" is a genre at this point, and even though the vast majority (of the most remembered ones, at least) fail to actually apologize, we also already have terms for those that do; "did you see colleen's apology video?! she didn't take accountability at all" vs. "did you see jenna's apology video? she took accountability for all of her old 'jokes,' showed clips of them, explained why what she said and did was wrong, took the videos down, and left the platform." again, apology video = the genre. doing it well or digging your hole deeper = the execution, and we definitely already have the terminology we need to elucidate the difference

[@peachy_lili]

I don't really agree though. The point is it's what the accused generally CONSIDERS their apology, so the name is kind of important to imply that THIS is what she gave us for her APOLOGY. in other words, we see it and go "well this isn't much of an apology!" then it is our privilege to realize, this person is a liar. if we're just calling them response videos where does any of that get to come in? leave the language, you're not gonna change how people talk about this stuff regardless right

[@webdrude]

did she even try to sell it as "an apology"? from my perspective that's a category the comment section uses, but i didn't even get that intent from her song. it is far more defensive than apologetic.

[@houndood9134]

I can't believe she recorded this, most likely watched it, and said yep, this non apology apology is a winner! She rolled a Selfawareness stat of -100

[@stormydayolivia]

And had to do multiple takes almost definitely. Practiced over and over. Not a single braincell

[@postrachsmietnikow]

And wrote it as well don't forget

[@mindys5555]

How many hours did it take her to get the perfect quirky-but-natural conversational sing song thing she was going for?

[@hausof9tarot]

Wrote, shot, laid in a fake turn off the camera meta, did multiple takes, edited and uploaded. So many steps where she could have said nope maybe I won’t try defend myself with a ukulele song, maybe I’ll just own up to what I did and hope for forgiveness. NOPE! LIKE HOW AT 36 IS THIS A REAL PERSON!

[@Dante3214]

@@hausof9tarot I'm 32 and all I can say is, I don't know. It still blows me away what people are capable of.

[@angie1981love]

If she wanted to proclaim her innocence, this wasn’t it. It shows she doesn’t take the accusations seriously and makes her seem narcissistic.

[@Lilly-qt4yy]

This is like saying because the sun is shining it's bright outside I don't think there is a possible way to understate how insane this video is

[@pezzo418]

right. and it doesnt even have to be asked in mind of a trans child. cis children can be mistaken for another gender!! like i had a friend in elementary who was mistaken as a girl everytime there was a sub. conservatives politicize everything istg

[@fighthive4808]

@erinbussy97also including young children in your life so intimately as if they’re a confidant or bestie is a go to narcissistic mother move. I know because I had one. Every bit of gossip my mom had, every TMI story she had, every bit of trauma she needed to dump - she dumped it on my sister. All that to say, I’m absolutely terrified for how Colleen’s children are gonna grow up.

[@TheMunchkinita2509]

Seem? This is way past that lmao she proudly wraps herself in narcissism like it's her armor.

[@mackenzie3009]

I’m 22 yrs old and work at a high school, and my brain can’t register the students as anything other than children. The thought of sharing any personal information with those kids is baffling. Whereas Colleen’s pushing 40 and sharing sexual information (and sending underwear?????) to VERY young minors. How anyone can rationalize that to themselves is beyond me.

[@walkertexasraymond]

Because it’s children defending her, I saw all the comments on her video and wanted to respond but then I remembered most of them are children so I didn’t want to be like SHE SIMULATED ORAL SEX WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL, LET HER PEDO BROTHER HAVE ACCESS TO HER YOUNG FANS! to a child. lol see how easy that works Coleen. You think for five seconds and go ah right children, don’t say that stuff to them. It’s not hard,

[@zopiranha3871]

To be fair it’s easier to be friends with people you wouldnt be able to irl if it’s online. Not seeing their appearance can make you comfortable even if u know the person’s age. Im friends with a variety of ages online which I wouldnt be able to do irl. Of course we dont send ourselves any underwear or ask for sexual photos. We just hang out and talked about our shared interests…

[@sunshineslowking5025]

Love how she manages to say she's "taking accountability", dismiss the accusations, AND claim that the accusations are no big deal all in one go.

[@Robert_Browne]

She's now bashing the 13 year old intern that assured her this was the best way to do it.

[@xp7575]

Finger bashing lol

[@Romanticoutlaw]

somehow it doesn't surprise me that she takes her career advice from 13 year olds. She's at their maturity level and seemingly seems to think of them as her peers

[@janelbbuck]

Urgh why does she still have probably unpaid or underpaid teens working for her. 😩 Honestly she shouldn’t even be taking career advice from kids who’ve barely had a career yet.

[@Nildread]

@@janelbbuck they're just her "friends"

[@Nildread]

@@ChooseOneorDie again, she only recently left her minor support chat group. So she has to play the victim so that all her minor "friends" (fans) can continue to support her and maybe, just maybe, get the special chance at joining a new chat room with minors or have the reward of getting her unused undies for free child labour.

[@DingusMcBrungus]

The ability some people have to convince themselves they've never done anything wrong is honestly just scary

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Capitalism makes reality denial easier. Oh... I raped? Not good??? Well at least I have all this nice stuff to distract me long enough to blot this all out of my mind : )

[@nailinthefashion]

It reminds me of some interrogations where they're like "well she asked to be free basically... I mean she didn't wanna be alive anyway" just she found a way to make legal jokes doesn't mean they were good

[@maccamachine]

Mental illness

[@oomay1925]

That's straight up narcissism

[@Mary-np9dd]

Excuse you shes never done anything wrong bc we've all made mistakes. That cancels hers out or something

[@HTphyzycs]

It's kind of funny she brings out the "OH YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFECT?" when talking about being a groomer lmao

[@nathanjasper512]

Lol, Right? Sure I groomed kids but have you considered that one time you cheated on your taxes? 😆

[@actuallywaffles5267]

"May he who is without grooming accusations cast the first stone"

[@God_Is_An_Atheist]

She literally makes the same arguments in her "apology" as a former neighbor of mine used to make. He has been previously convicted for doing things to children that I can't and don't want to describe here. His "justification" (and this is a literal quote): "This happened 10 years ago! And they were 10 and 11, they knew what was going on and agreed!" 🤮

[@Deborah5000]

I first gave Colleen the benefit of doubt that she truly did not understand how her actions were wrong, but this apology video confirms that she definitely is psycho and does not care about what she did.

[@TheEpicYak17]

Instant Hall of Shame "apology" by Colleen. That is history folks.

[@JazzySaint]

I genuinely think she just wanted to go down in history and didn't care how lol, because I can't see how even a criminal or someone mentally unwell could have thought this was a good idea 😭😭

[@TheEpicYak17]

@@JazzySaint No matter how you frame it, it's pretty clear that she is a sociopath.

[@rianschultz5117]

I feel so bad for the girl that had her legs spread on stage. She really was too young to be put into a "joke" like that, if you can even call it that.

[@r1cklain]

wait she was the person who did that?

[@An0nymous_L0gic]

Huh, what? What are you talking about

[@LinkRocks]

@@An0nymous_L0gic There's a NBC News article that was publish a few days ago that details what the OP is talking about.

[@MaryamofShomal]

Yeah I didn’t know enough about her to care until I read a news article about that, so then I watched one of Adam McIntyre’s videos, and yeah…this woman is deranged.

[@asherwebb789]

Bro calm down it was just a fart joke 😭

[@tyghe_bright]

She says she's taken accountability and changed, but there's zero evidence that she has done either. Especially because she claims to not have actually done anything wrong.

[@blib4328]

She left one of her group chats just this week 😂

[@mirandabee2323]

@@blib4328 Wow. Time to give her the "You Did One (1) Thing Right" Award! 🙃

[@s4mzdagod]

@@mirandabee2323the main point is just this week, meaning that she was most likely still doing this

[@actuallywaffles5267]

Nothing says "I took accountability" like writing and performing a whole song about how actually everyone else is the problem and you're the real victim here.

[@roshango125ab]

You guys dont understand the amount of money id pay to watch her PR team's reaction to this video

[@AmburAlert90]

She should rename the video to "Victim blaming for 10 minutes by Ukulele"

[@hurdygurdy8754]

ALSO predators/predatory people always try to avoid blame by claiming they dont have bad intentions like they’re just ‘lonely’ or ‘desperate for connection’ they’re never predators they’re just ‘lame awkward losers’ no no no. how many times have you heard a predator try to defend themselves by claiming they were just ‘lonely and desperate’ it’s literally the number one line the guys on that show To Catch a Predator use when they get caught. this is just absurd. i hope she can’t get out of this one and i hope everyone who’s been hurt by her can find peace

[@stormydayolivia]

James Charles and his "I'm desperate" comes to mind

[@kupotenshi]

The fact is that predators are often stunted immature loser adults. But that's not an excuse to act weird with children because you aren't able to form connections with other adults.

[@Remedy462]

That's pretty much the entirety of the book Lolita, Humbert never taking accountability even when he does actually feel a pinch of guilt, he just forgets or uses it to try to sway us to forgive his atrocities.

[@actualgoblin]

@@kupotenshi I think that fully grown adults who go after the youngest legal age are the same way... but at least those guys they have the decency to not commit an actual crime... its genuinely so easy to just not be a pedo

[@AT-yo6qc]

It’s Unfathomable that she thought this was a good idea. She’s pushing 40, with kids, and still hasn’t acquired enough wisdom in her life to talk herself out of this.

[@Romanticoutlaw]

💀 I didn't realize she was that old, she has the maturity of a 17 year old

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

@@Romanticoutlaw Yeah she's like me. I'm 36 and act childish af. Not rapey towards the under age though... I can proudly say I've never been THAT bad lulz.

[@jojo-xk8ri]

no bc shes literally a few years younger than my mom which is crazy. im 18 and my mom is close to her age 😭

[@s4mzdagod]

@@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342saying you’re like her is crazy

[@robmckennie4203]

Accountability is when you say your accusers are lying for clout i guess

[@stone301]

What is she taking accountability for if she did nothing wrong lol

[@Nintend_No]

@@stone301 exactly

[@kylesmith5633]

Your UNDERAGE accusers. “Yeah those kids i was saying weird shit to are clout chasing. Fucking attention goblins.”

[@robmckennie4203]

@@stone301 she said in her video that she's taken accountability, so you'd want to ask her what that was for

[@rileyreacts7610]

I think if you get accused of something serious and this is how you respond…it’s quite literally the definition of self-reporting. Not just the pedophillia, there has to be something else deeply wrong with her mental state too

[@Cuddlefunny]

Pedophilia? Gtfo.

[@veravucic3182]

The victimization of herself is so insane and the lack of self awareness is…astounding.I’m almost impressed…

[@Youokhun]

My jaw dropped too, “are you all having fun?” She’s talking down to us all. The manipulation continues 😮

[@sleepinthemorningcalm]

The seething rage lurking just below her cutesy act is tangible

[@cryptbeast3222]

I'm waiting for her to commit violent crimes soon after this.

[@rnpee]

She’s just mad that she got caught smh

[@ashkebora7262]

The best part is, if she would've started with an actual apology, admitted that what she did was bad and that she can see that, discuss how she's done and will do better, and _maybe_ talked about how some things have surely been blown out of proportion... She _might_ have gotten away with making a song about toxic gossip as a closer. Instead, we got this gem. The Narcissist's Prayer in song form.

[@julisakyani6306]

Right?! Like, be an adult first- THEN if really necessary (I still don't see how) do a song or something 😭😅

[@Loki_K]

"That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it."

[@Jiminie53421]

That’s what I was thinking! If she actually wanted to proclaim her innocence she should have started by apologizing for her actions because I think it’s pretty clear that objectively, it was wrong. Even if her intentions weren’t bad (which I would find hard to believe) her actions were so clearly wrong and “good intentions” doesn’t make that behavior okay.

[@ashkebora7262]

@@Jiminie53421 Yeah absolutely. Even if intent was fine, it's still _critical_ to be able to actually show (and ideally feel) contrition when something goes wrong. Even if it's something benign like putting a scratch on someone's car when you borrow it, busting out a ukulele before an actual apology is _the exact opposite_ of showing contrition... It could be hilarious at a later date after feelings cool down to make a song about someone getting too salty about a car scratch. To think it's remotely appropriate _as the actual response_ and to _serious allegations,_ is just ... extremely autistic levels of social ignorance. Not digging on autistic folks, pretty sure I'm one of them. The struggle is real. Though you'd think *an entertainer* would have more social awareness than some dude who doesn't even like going out in public...

[@Jiminie53421]

@@ashkebora7262 Yeah, pulling out the ukulele and singing a song is like saying “ *I* didn’t have any bad intentions so *I* didn’t do anything wrong and *I* don’t care if you are upset” The song sends the message that no accountability is being taken and that she believes her intent is the only thing that matters and how her actions made other people feel is not her fault.

[@brianco28]

i cannot comprehend the thought process of singing with a ukulele to get out of minor grooming allegations

[@limerysmouse6005]

Someone in chat said “the perks of being a wallflower aunt” and I think that’s the only response ever

[@cooolinoff]

As a fellow Colleen, we don’t claim her.

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Claim her only to then toss her into internet prison lol she's nutz! Keep her away from teh kidz : )

[@DDDAvery]

Finally a former Colleen fan with a brain. Her comments are literally filled with fuckin bots she probably made or are just the most braindead fans ever saying everyone makes mistakes and haters gonna hate if it was a man his comment would've been much different.

[@mirandabee2323]

As a fellow Miranda, we don't claim her character or her.

[@EddieMachetti]

As a fellow ukulele, we’re not meant to be grooming defense mechanisms

[@phantomblot6072]

SHE DID EVERYTHING RIGHT AND THEY INDICTED HER!!

[@J5L5M6]

🤣😂 scandal multiverse!

[@Youokhun]

Ugh I’m missing H3 so much 😂 heard this sound bite

[@average3970]

THEY INDICTED ME! AT MANIPULATION STATION!

[@daymarie1111]

​@@Youokhunsamee

[@Remedy462]

EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES!!! THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE DESERVE PUNISHMENT!!! :P

[@SPACE.KITTY.]

It annoys me that people keep calling this an apology video.

[@infamouswildcat11]

Yeah I understand what you are saying…but what do we refer it as?

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Same.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

​@@infamouswildcat11I would say a response.

[@SPACE.KITTY.]

@@twiggledowntown3564 I agree. Response video seems more accurate.

[@wutthe8284]

@@infamouswildcat11 not sure, it's almost doubling down, but she's being centrist about it

[@mish375]

The irony of her singing about the toxic gossip train when she's run that train off the rails, smashed it into the station, and lit it on fire. This is pure cringe, demonstrating her hubris and refusal to be accountable for her actions.

[@giulianaherrera7775]

I can’t get over how she really WROTE LYRICS AND A SONG, while we all thought she was taking a break from the internet to think about what she’s done lmaooo wtf

[@stone301]

I love the part where she said let’s talk about the facts and then instead of talking about any of the allegations she indirectly threatened her audience 🤯 she may not be going to jail, but she’s def going to hell for this

[@Mikey-jv5fv]

Yes she was just like “you’re a all misinformed and you’re ignoring the gaps in my accusers stories for simple entertainment” like what lies?? Elaborate lmao. But oh wait she’s just honoring the wishes of her PR team by not actually addressing wtf the lies and rumors actually are 😇

[@hfis459]

@@Mikey-jv5fv she posted a video titled "addressing everything" 3 yrs ago about the same person and same situation. maybe start there

[@Photik]

​@@hfis459defend a groomer more

[@Westlander857]

If someone was publicly exposed for hurting me or wronging me, and they apologized like this… I’m gonna stop typing before I write something that gets me banned.

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

Just say it like me. That person will be blank blanked blankity blank blank blank or something like that lolz

[@GENDERLESSmaryjane]

BRO NO SHOT SHE PULLED OUT A UKE IM IN PHYSICAL CRINGE MODE RN IM REPULSED

[@jingbot1071]

This killed me

[@GENDERLESSmaryjane]

​@jingbot1071 the worst part is like yeah u feel bad but what about the kids u groomed or whatever? They are facing harassment at such extremes bc ur famous and some of them are still kids like bro ur in ur 30s u can deal with it you've been famous for like 7 years I don't think a random kid can handle critisim like u can on top of a having an adult talk sex w u and whats also bad about having one interaction like that w an adult can make it easier for u to be groomed by other adults since those interactions seem more normal to you as a minor. I don't doubt that those minors she talked to talked to other adults in such ways but since it's not her she's still gonna say people are making up lies. I'm tired of all these celebs asking for a pity party. What about the people you hurt you didn't even really mean a sorry to them

[@rnpee]

She shoulda just done a parody of the cup song from pitch perfect, absolutely millennial

[@catsinwonderland7473]

Her response was horribly insulting, but the most insulting part by far is that she's using a UKELELE. PUT THAT SHIT AWAY!!!!!!

[@Vampxiii_]

The way she admits some of it and then backtracks so fast ☠️😭 I cannot with this.

[@Sadzilla]

we need this on spotify

[@jingbot1071]

This is so caucasian, this is the most caucasian thing you can have without a confederate flag

[@SwedishDrunkard5963]

this aint caucasian this is so pedo.

[@schildkroete]

can you imagine if a person of color had done the exact same?? instantly canceled, fired, and Fox News would be talking about it nonstop

[@MEGaagv]

I used to watch her back in 2015-2016 when I was 10-11 years old, but my parent saw one of her videos they were beyond grossed out and banned me from watching her, but now I know why!

[@mrmooch2163]

This has had the opposite effect that an apology should have. More attention to her flaws/crimes than ever before. I didnt even know who she was until this 😂

[@ADarnSmore]

mirandasings, if you even know who that is.

[@mrmooch2163]

@ADarnSmore lol barely. The name is vaguely familiar but its not my corner of the algorithm idt

[@ADarnSmore]

@@mrmooch2163 well she hasn't been relevant in like 10 years so not suprising

[@Cybersomnia]

2:12 "Your Honor, he said 'pretty please with sugar on top' so I had to"

[@isengrim99]

Being held responsible for grooming and inappropriate behavior towards minors and responding by gaslighting her accusers with an ukulele performance? Yeah, that's normal. This woman seems downright psychopathic, something like this would have required rehearsing and planning, all for the purpose of manipulating people. If I faced anything like the accusations she's faced with, real or not, I would be distraught and emotional, desperate to come clean and engage in dialogue. She just nuked her own credibility with this insane performance.

[@CeeBeesBuzz]

There’s no way she has a lawyer retained, and if she did, they quit after she posted her video. JFC.

[@Grace-tg4oy]

Amazing how a response towards an accusation of grooming is "You're the manipulative ones actually."

[@stormydayolivia]

I think the worst thing she did that people aren't bringing up enough is when she called that underage girl on stage for a yoga bit and spread her legs wide open as a "joke" to the point she felt unsafe going outside...and then put it as a "fart joke" in this shitstain of an apology. Edit: oop just got to that point of the reaction nvm

[@John-po9wz]

the ironic part is that from a mental health point of view she's likely being sincere in this video, she's just exhibiting textbook narcissistic/BPD symptoms.

[@emp9413]

I predicted this. As narcissistic tactics become mainstream, they’ll adopt all the complaints. Now WE’RE the narcissists for speaking out against grooming.

[@katelynjoymoore]

“they didn’t say i couldn’t SIIIIING”

[@sturdybutter]

Oh, you never sent inappropriate messages to people half your age when you were in your 30s? Well sorry Mr. Perfect!!

[@EddieMachetti]

“C’mon guys, who in their 30s hasn’t sent a 14 year old underwear? I’m normal, you’re weird and toxic”

[@darkartsninja]

Laura Lee thanking god rn that her apology video is no longer the worst one

[@gulermo]

i think we can all agree that the Ukelele Community will never recover from this, and frankly they deserve it

[@redminus]

I got a chrome addon that brings back the dislike numbers and uh... yeah the ratio is incredible

[@fighthive4808]

Yup someone on the og video is asking how many dislikes there are. I wanna comment but I guess comments are disabled now

[@xtaintedx3l0vex]

Hasan's face when she starts singing is so damn funny. Like a perfect meme or reaction image right there.

[@apolloismydad]

Girl didn’t even bother to change the chord progressions 😭

[@sybill123ful]

stayed in the flattest tone while doing it too

[@alexkehoepwj]

Once she slips into A minor, she stays there til completion

[@apolloismydad]

@@alexkehoepwj yep, just like she slips into a minor’s dms

[@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342]

@@apolloismydad oh man lololol these jokes haha wtf

[@catsinwonderland7473]

@@alexkehoepwjAt least she didn't F minors, though she got close.

[@APunisherKnight]

Got a SA apology via interpretive dance, grooming apology in ukulele, now I need EDP do an 'im sorry rap' to complete the trifecta

[@Alexander-db9ep]

6:43 crazy thing she actually did do blackface whilst dancing to single ladies by beyonce

[@crabbypanda]

The "fart joke" was her telling a 13yo that her farts were going to "r*pe" his senses. She uses that word a LOT in conversations with minors. Like asking them what positions they like.

[@SeresVictoria]

This is the best edit!!! What really bothered me about her in the group chat... kids talking about homework and out of no where, Colleen would jump in chat saying something about her divorce or "everyone hates me..." These children were not inquiring about her. They're trying to do school work. Disgusting.

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

These people make me believe the internet was a mistake

[@MrStyles784]

These people existed before the Internet - you just didn't know about it

[@TheEclecticDyslexic]

​@@MrStyles784That's the mistake. Without the internet her following would be smaller or none existent.

[@Maxisamo1]

​@@TheEclecticDyslexicI think it's a double-edged sword It lets us know en-masse that people like this exist, and we learn more and more to avoid these types

[@MrStyles784]

@@TheEclecticDyslexic They would still exist. Your blissful ignorance of a problem does nothing to solve the problem

[@EddieMachetti]

Omg it was not.

[@LinkRocks]

Her financial empire is about to crumble so she's trying to blame the victims in a last effort attempt to salvage some naive fans into sticking around and buy things. Pretty gross conduct by her all around.

[@phrophannus]

There is no quicker way for people to think that you're diddling kids than by writing a song about it.

[@Chirp331]

I wish people wouldn’t call this an apology video because literally at no point during this video does she actually apologize. This video is a huge middle finger to all of it. If you take away the ukulele and the cute little song you could hear the contempt in her words. She’s angry, not repentant.

[@0elle_belle058]

“Even in Japan, that’s illegal. Think about that for a second.” damn.

[@VibeJem]

I still can’t believe this is actually real

[@rnpee]

Can’t wrap my head around how she sat down, practiced, recorded, then uploaded this.💀

[@kris.........]

Let me put my clown nose on for a minute - could this be a ploy to distract from the actual allegations? Because Colleen's delivery has everyone making jokes.. It's hard to believe anyone is both deluded and arrogant enough to respond this way in earnest.

[@angie1981love]

I wouldn’t be surprised. People who are accused of serious crimes would try to do dumb shit like this to deflect from the horrible things they’ve done.

[@GlitzPixie]

I genuinely don't think she's smart enough. I think she just didn't mature past 14.

[@Fopenplop]

I literally would have no idea who this person is.

[@nathanjasper512]

Yeah jokes about how she's probably guilty of what she's accused of so maybe not the best plan.

[@SwedishDrunkard5963]

​@@GlitzPixiestop insulting 14 year olds, she aint smart enugh for them

[@HeatherLovesTMills]

“Why’d she learn just a tiny instrument?” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@Jem640]

Her victim Adam didn’t even bring up what happened to him in the first place, which makes her claim that he was just chasing clout even more ridiculous. Another 30-something-year-old brought it up to get attention and absolve herself for participating in Colleen’s creepy antics… So Adam was essentially forced to address it after his traumatic experience was brought to light against his will.

[@omarmohd34]

That apology was a certified caucasian moment 😂

[@redlion45]

White moment. Don't associate her with Georgians, Chechens and circassians. They don't deserve that.

[@SwedishDrunkard5963]

nah it was certified pedo moment

[@Hejskndnfjsksjjs]

Caucasians are actually people from Caucasus, she ain’t that, she j white

[@fandomcringebucket]

​@@Hejskndnfjsksjjsnah, she from Cockup, bc that's how badly she screwed up! :D

[@vinciner4te]

“You know what would help me get out of this situation?” *pulls out a ukulele* “A song”

[@peachy_lili]

"a few years ago I used to message my fans" she says, having left the group chat 4 frickin days ago

[@TheSanndwichh]

4:20 fellas is it predatory to play the ukulele? Lol

[@iremnee]

I just love that she never apologized in any part on the video while admitting she has been weird towards children and his fans. Also changing the word 'grooming' to 'being weird' doesn't make anyone think of her any better.