Hashtags:

[@meredithsolis2905]

When people come over I apologize for the mess when there is none so they think I'm more neat than I actually am. #MyDumbLie

[@jasdipkaur6004]

SAME 😥😥😥✋

[@Yvonnization]

This actually seems to be a common thing as when I worked as a cleaning lady, most of the clients apologized even tho their homes looked like they had just cleaned their homes before I got there. Made me question - why do they need someone to come and clean :D

[@happyduck128]

SAME!!!

[@vanessawinkelmann7288]

@@Yvonnization Well from my experience I can tell you apparently quite a lot people actually do clean their house before somebody comes to clean it, because they don't want to be embarrassed but ...yeah... I was wondering too... why you would do that?😅 Or more importantly if you obviously have the time to do it yourself, why waste the money?😅

[@aamnaasim7951]

The last one was EPIC!!!

[@giftysands6760]

Yeah!

[@amiliamustaffa3414]

Aamna Asim ikr

[@czarinamarushka3224]

The ordering thing.. Too relatable. Hahaha!

[@csillustrations]

For skinny people yes Lol

[@DANIEL-sh2fh]

+Chris Fernandez im kinda chubby and i still do it lol

[@MrNemesisNuke]

+DANIEL ! It's time to stop and hit the gym then.

[@DANIEL-sh2fh]

+The Secret Society sorry netflix and food sound way more fun

[@nadak3032]

+DANIEL ! agreed 😂

[@tkmaz]

When I was 15 (over 20 yrs ago) I skipped school to go on a roadtrip. There was a pic of my friends and me in front of what is obviously a mountain. I didn't want anyone to know I skipped & my grandmother saw the photo. "Oh, that was Crystal's backyard." I still feel the sting of that one. My grandma pretended she believed me, my sweet grandma.

[@shrugs-]

I thought the title said #mydumblife I was like "same" and clicked

[@cecairegagnier2863]

Lol same 😂

[@chubbytink6414]

Same

[@kierstenlee7516]

Meee

[@oliviastevens3932]

haha same

[@TheJunior3600]

Lmao same bro

[@ButteredCalamari]

I've got a dumb lie: when I was in eighth grade I had brought a mini poker set to school (fancy metal case and all) because my friends and I were having a really intense poker game in this one teacher's class who was totally cool with it. I hadn't been busted yet for bringing a poker set to school (because gambling on school campus is against the law) until at the end of the day, a teacher saw me moving the poker case from my locker to my backpack. He comes up and was like, "What was that?" I GENUINELY SAID, "Drugs!" And he laughed and was like "hahaha good one" and walked off and that kids is how I pretended to have drugs in eighth grade so I wouldn't get busted for having a poker set.

[@Mtz2604]

Anna Grace Travis good one mate

[@therealrunesead]

In 5th grade, I told everyone I broke my leg while skiing. I really broke it when I jumped down a flight of stairs. Not fell down a flight of stairs; jumped #MyDumbLie

[@ayzhaburwell]

At 2:03 he had like 4 left, and then in the next shot he only has 1 paper left. I wanna see what he skipped

[@amensennac]

He thought we wouldn’t notice but we did

[@paulabruckman1783]

@@amensennac I understood that reference

[@amensennac]

@@paulabruckman1783And I understood THAT reference ❤️

[@haylemoo]

My sister and her friends once ordered Chinese for them all. They wrote down everything and when they went to order, the one who read it to the place misread LG as 1 G. He ordered 1 gallon of rice instead of a large rice.

[@starsaint]

Luckily, frozen rice makes the best fried rice.

[@rbrgef21]

How do you get one gallon of rice

[@haylemoo]

idk i wasn't there, but both my sister and her teacher who became my teacher said yes. He really ordered 1 gallon and they brought it.

[@valentinetc2396]

7.33 pounds of rice is a gallon for rice

[@nickrigdon8883]

The second one is a Key and Peele skit.

[@satyamgawali2734]

I got it too!

[@themccman]

Was gonna comment the same

[@woodrowscott4807]

Wendell

[@qxob2123]

+GOD • Hey, God? Can I ask you a question?

[@woodrowscott4807]

+Marty No, I'm busy

[@Jay_and_Meeka]

The skipped two! Just before the last one he had three cards in his hand. Then the camera turns back to him and he only has one! We've been duped! I want to know what those said!

[@jessface777]

He ran out of time so just chose one more

[@OlafavonGoeding]

he better be skipping those unfunny fillers he's doing next time

[@LysandreGagne]

I live alone, I always have a pair of man shoes by the door and when the delivery get's here I yell that the food is there... The best part is eating the whole pizza :)

[@sarahalbers5555]

Well played! I will remember that one.

[@bigghoss762]

I told my 3 year old niece that "lame" meant "cool" and got her to call her parents lame.

[@giftysands6760]

You're evil,lol.

[@Jusu331]

Such a daredevil

[@ninanina1787]

😂😂😂😂

[@OvSpP]

1:56 he tore his rotator cuff rock climbing? More like rocky road climbing.

[@hagarsayag4419]

Can you do #ComplimentsGoneWrong?

[@joylolly4458]

May 20th '21 and honestly I'd love to see this one! Hopefully they'll do it some time soon.

[@DeanWLover24]

Omg 0:29 is literally what I should do from now on. If I ever want any leftovers XD!

[@whyamihere1563]

First Summer holidays by the sea. I was 8, maybe. After whole day in water I still wanted "5 more minutes". It was getting close to 6pm and my dad said "you know, at 6pm they're letting the sharks out, for the night". I believed it.

[@andieb3632]

At 2:06 he has atleast 3 cards in his hand, but at 2:11 there was only 1? Did he skip some?

[@chrisperri2842]

Most likely, to save time for other parts of the show.

[@andieb3632]

I know, but I wish I could still here them. esp on his youtube clips

[@jackiedisspain5406]

Timing thing...

[@anmolhaans1170]

I got detention at school , when the teacher there asked my name , I said " ashley" ...and the next moment she said repeat it again , I said " grace" .........#MyDumyLie

[@talalalanazi2358]

Each time i watch this, makes me want to laugh so hard, not the show he is doing funny but his hair is so crazy LOL

[@thedarkknight7626]

😒

[@DANIEL-sh2fh]

احلف

[@cassidyjohnson8803]

🙄🖕🏼

[@alexandria2firmbaby]

my mother found an empty condom wrapper in my brothers room. when she asked him about it, he replied "I'm holding it for a friend."

[@WadeWilson-]

Blamed a stinky fart on my dog, but he wasn't in the room.

[@alex.dahl02]

This is my favourite segment!!

[@YesdogLive]

Ah, another installment of "Lame Things That Never Happened That I Will Tweet As A Joke Because My Life Is Sad". Lots of crowdsourcing fun.

[@tootz1950]

But you watch. Jokes on you.

[@PoppingCobble]

They profit off of you viewing the video just to hate

[@lynnturman8157]

I told the girl I was dating that I was a marine biologist. We were walking down the beach along the ocean one day & we saw a whale was just off the coast dying. There was a crowd there and somebody yelled out "Is anybody here a marine biologist?" Well, I'd lied to my girlfriend so I had to say "I am!" And my girlfriend said "Save the whale. For me." So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you. I was terrified. The waves were crashing down around us and, believe or not, I found myself on top of the whale, face to face with the blowhole. I could tell something was inside, blocking its breathing, so I reached in and pulled out the obstruction. It was a golf ball that my good friend had hit into the VERY SAME OCEAN on the VERY SAME DAY! I mean, what are the odds? But I had saved the whale and to this day, she still thinks I really am a marine biologist. Even though I'm actually an architect. True story.

[@yellowtulips2137]

Is your name George?

[@AllThatAndMore]

+Yellow Tulips Is your name Yellow Tulips?

[@MsGrapeNehi]

THE SEA WAS ANGRY THAT DAY, MY FRIENDS.

[@lynnturman8157]

What-If Machine That's good. Mind if I use for my story from now on?

[@hummus304]

Lynn Turman you must be George Costanza

[@baileyandthejets6240]

the jerry Seinfeld voice was creeping in at the end lol!

[@smiley27b]

love this one

[@oliviaantonette5647]

Limping out of the lift! Totally did that too! HAHAHAHAHAH

[@whatiwriteafterthisismainl7133]

Imagine being outside and u hear "dont make me push your bellybutton!"😂😂😂😂

[@mustafashabbir1051]

2.08 he had three cards in his hand then he had only the last one out of nowhere??

[@PotterKid183]

+Sidrah Zaheer you know, maybe for the people who watch the show on TV not the highlights.

[@LostChik7]

+Sidrah Zaheer those ones probably just don't go over as well with the audience or the joke they come up with just isn't as good as the others, so they edit them out.

[@saucedonkey88889]

ILLUMINATI FREEMASONS LIZARD PEOPLE RUN THE GOVERNMENT

[@daniheartsmusic]

I know, I think he skips some if they don't have the time.

[@theguy_222]

Mustafa Shabbir 2:08

[@backtothestart02]

lol oh wow at that last one. these were great. XD

[@giftysands6760]

I wonder whether the mom saw her,lol.

[@naid5533]

the second one reminded me of key and peele - 'pizza order'

[@skinkscat]

The last one!!!!!! Also, the pager one sounds like Barney Stinson

[@BunnyCalavera]

this is by far my favourite segment of the show! :)

[@megvantair740]

The ordering one is hilarious...😂😂😂

[@noahwright8109]

1:35 That backfired when he forgot the spare garage door opener, and he met someone

[@lorrainediaz5721]

Good thing on my 18th birthday my parents are not here with me when I watch 50 shades of Grey... but the last one was epic.

[@jessicaclark7130]

“ANDWEREALLSHARINGTHESAMEFORK” that got me dying lol

[@Violinist265]

The first 3 are genius 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MakeupbyAlex]

omg the 50 shades thing happened to my friend as well, her mom found out and i died laughing when she called after telling me everything XD

[@SHIFTIBOI]

Told Japanese exchange students that koalas are actually a pest here and that's what we put in our meat pies. I didn't see any of them eat a pie after that for the rest of their stay lol

[@manguy2000]

Anyone seeing fifty shades should be embarrassed and ashamed

[@ivonesilva9379]

nao falo ingles

[@shaterawilcoxson1259]

Oh, so you saw it when it first came out then?

[@zoeycoen1017]

manguy2000 Yeah, for wasting money on such a crappy movie.

[@bettydarling9154]

The last one could have been worse... it could have been her dad

[@oldnewheb]

you stole what i was going to write.

[@Mtz2604]

It could be both

[@lenroybrown3348]

When is it never a trending topic????!!!😶 Lol

[@MsSaxoBeat257]

I can relate to this so fucking much, especially the delivery and the elevator one. Oh Gawd xD

[@43Aquaman]

1:44. Because my name is Doctor Sears, DUH.

[@timothylewis2811]

3 cards in his hand a 2:09 and at 2:11 it's the last one? WTF!

[@carpaintings]

He must not have had enough time D:

[@muziktotheears]

OMG I do the limping thing all the time #thankgodimnottheonlyone

[@charisamartin2152]

The second one.. Hilarious!

[@patriciaabell9393]

I saw a funny show on Myth busters. .. they proved that if you wrapped a life jacket around one end of the door, both lovers could float their way to a happy ending! :-)

[@flaviagensem]

I love those hashtags 😍

[@rachkate76]

The first one is gold! 😂

[@deborahmorais2853]

The last one was the best!!! hahahahaha

[@chronickatie]

Oml they're all so funny

[@kimberlyfinch6055]

I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream and 50 shades of it oops I just hit the rest button.

[@vonreeves17]

The ice cream one was the best!

[@rains155]

The last one was funny as hell😂

[@larissahale6525]

I have totally done the limping one. A lot.

[@alexanderthomas8784]

By far the best Hashtags

[@sarahpanther]

......Sometimes I pretend not to have heard people, so they have to repeat what they said. Even if I heard them perfectly fine. Mostly so I have more time to think of a response and make sure I'm not about to say something dumb 😂

[@samantharandom7610]

I LOVED THE LAST ONE OMG hahahahha

[@noahknutsen995]

Pray feel steep everybody.

[@Hotshots2890]

lol did Jimmy do a quick Jerry impersonation at the end lol

[@lucindabean1646]

My Dad told my 5 yr old neighbor that Lemonade puts hair around your belly button. His Mom called my Dad and yelled at him cuz she couldn’t figure out WHY she was going through TWO large containers of Lemonade mix a week...He would drink a large glass of lemonade and immediately lift up his shirt to see if he had hair yet🙄😂

[@marinadiaz1762]

The last one though! XD

[@lolalotta2687]

Once I had a period stain at school. Now keep in mind we hadn’t had health class yet so lots of the boys had no idea what it was. They kept saying it was a poop stain so I said that I sat in dirt. Not the best ive got but I tried

2:08 he was holding 3 papers and after that the video went straight to "this last one..." ?

[@kypoll1608]

When Jimmy picks up the cards at 2:08 he has 3 cards left and then he says "the last one..." Hmmm...

[@VM13TV]

The second entree thing is so relatable.

[@TheReal_Dirty_Dan]

The second hashtag was a key & peel skit

[@lucefina5091]

I order food for me and I don't care they gettin paid!

[@bcaye]

I go up stairs all the time, but if you have knee issues, going down stairs can wreck you.

[@DinoHF79]

Up yours

[@RiotGrl416]

I tore my labrum falling down the stairs. It's traditionally a sports injury.

[@alexgregg1058]

These are not lies they are just alternative truths. ;)

[@rgayaala3946]

the ice-cream one, I can relate.

[@kellymadeline5889]

These were great XD

[@johnw2026]

I had my younger brother believing that our dead great grandmother was back from the dead... Took us months to get him to realize I was lying, because I was just SO SERIOUS, lol!

[@Bearskinbear]

That ice cream one sounds like an injury Jimmy would get

[@hamiltontrash1019]

My dumb lie was in 3rd grade when I was crying at school in my desk and a girl asked "what's wrong" I didn't want to say that my mom got super pissed at me that morning so I just said "I forgot to feed my dog"

[@ashnnaina]

At 2:09 you can see three more cards and then the clip cuts to the last one. What were the other two dumb lies?

[@karalyyyn]

The Chinese food one is literally me LMAOOO

[@shellymazalbenhacoun9969]

The second one was genius 😂😂

[@isabellemarie4926]

That last one XD

[@rileyhume7112]

K, the day after this aired I tore my rotator cuff rock climbing. Swear to god.

[@giftysands6760]

Liar, liar pants on fire!

[@long25714]

liar liar plants for hire

[@tugcebalta86]

Coming... "Don't say again!" Because her blank brain's gone to Keanu, it's stuck there. But I'm an obsession medicine and will give all of them. ♌ 🔆 👑

[@sadiepohl3340]

My sister had a date with a dude planned where they were going to see a movie. As a family, we went and saw the same movie. She didn’t want him to know that she had already seen the movie, so she told him that she saw a different one. He asked what it was about, and having not seen it, she said “I don’t really know” it was sooooo funny

[@GyDaBi]

JIMMY FOR GOD'S SAKE IF BRITNEY SPEARS IS COMING ON THE SHOW FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND PURE PLEASE DO THE PUP QUIZ WITH HER

[@bratchbone1992]

Acchhoooooo.... UP YOURS!!!!!!! Lol

[@sarahcaitlyn88]

While in Cuba, we went to a friend's house.. the uncle couldn't remember my mom's name to ask her to play dominos We were at the back of a long yard she was in the kitchen... He asked what my mom's name was I said "bitch" He started shouting "Bitch!! Bitch!! Hey bitch!!!!" 🤣 She finally realized and immediately knew.. it was either my dad or me who told him that 😇🤷

[@945chumFM]

I love hashtags

[@inthemix7640]

I told Billy Bush I was held up at gunpoint. I forgot they have security cameras in Rio.

[@erin9110]

I once told my sister when we were eating chicken that it was actually rabbit. I don't know if she realised I wasn't being serious. Best part is my dad went along with it when she asked him 😂

[@AestheticChanelxoxo]

"up yours" 😂😂

[@xeniosm4549]

2:08 Jimmy magically skips a bunch of those cards

[@catxo169]

I love hashtags 😂😂

[@sarahberkner]

I might have shared this on the #WhyI'mSingle video or something, but my mom said (not lying, just joking) that me and my older siblings couldn't date until we were 25. I didn't know she was joking, so I was surprised when my brother got married before the age of 25, and didn't realize she had been joking until she mentioned she was.

[@reviews4you440]

jimmy fallon is a sick lad

[@andreitaalvarezcardo]

i told a kid i just to babysit that if he touch his Pipi to much will fall off and he wont have it again.

[@SchulzEricT]

His future girlfriend can blame you when he pees all over the seat.

[@dansingwithpiano4509]

Genius

[@Sarahlovexox]

Why would a doctor thats on call be drinking in a bar lol