Have You Been Spiritually Abused? Author Lila Tueller's New Project Needs Your Stories

[@rachelhansen2417]

I feel like the Mormon mission fits so well into the framework of spiritual abuse. I was so isolated, and every day was controlled by the organization.

[@incognito137]

Absolutely!!! I agree 💯!!!

[@ashleyclawson4363]

I couldn’t agree more. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

[@susiekathryn8570]

Looking back my spiritual abuse probably started on my mission in 1973. Hearing this I realize that I had a couple Bishops that certainly abused their power to make me feel useless and impure. My relationship with Bishops in my adult life has been a roller coaster ride as has my relationship with the church. But this show has made me realize how spiritual abuse is so prevalent in my life! I’m 74. We’ve left the church and we are now getting spiritually healthy. But you have got me really thinking. 😢

[@tamicox990]

I joined the church when I was barely 15- I joined all on my own- not my parents. I remember the first youth temple recommend interview. It was 1974 and I was very naive. The man interviewing me was asking me about masturbation- I honestly didn’t know what that meant so he had to explain it to me. Years later as a mother I thought about how upset I’d be knowing some man would be talking to my 15 year old daughter about that- and - I often wonder what my non member parents would have thought if they knew their teenage daughter - who they just knew I was at church- was in a room alone with a man asking her questions about such things.

[@debbieshrubb1222]

I was a teenage convert at a similar time. I agree with all you say. My parents didn't want me to join and would have been even more upset if they had known about the interviews.

[@christopher3d475]

She's totally correct about a lack of boundaries in the church. As a teenager I totally resented that the bishop and my parents could just ask intrusive questions about my sexuality whenever they wanted. I hated that.

[@maddexq9107]

@chrstopher3d475 thank you for your post - I was 28 or 29 when my mom demanded to know if I was having a lesbian relationship with a room mate. In this case, it was a platonic relationship but i realized that it was really none of my mother’s business and I courageously told her “It’s none of your business,” shocking both of us. 😂

[@China-Clay]

I worked with Lila on her last book. She was super helpful on keeping deadlines and things on track. It was a good experience and I was amazed at how much I grew in the experience.

[@jeromics]

I love this idea, because I don’t think I’ve even heard a definition of spiritual abuse. There is physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse... For me, what is defined as spiritual is based on belief; when a group of thoughts are found to be true, this is a belief. So when someone is being manipulated by their beliefs, this is spiritual abuse. For example, if I believe that marriage becomes eternal because of temple marriage, I could be manipulated to maintain an abusive relationship for fear of losing a place in eternity, or upsetting God…

[@patriciafinn5717]

Love you 3...keep talking..❤

[@99blackbirds]

My story & Others: Every missionary is REQUIRED to get their endowment and go through the LDS temple. (this is not a Choice) We have very little idea of whats going and what covenants we will be making. We are all dressed in white and surrounded by our family and friends... they open the door and give ou the option to leave if you do not want to proceed and they say "FOR GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED" (everyone gulps) whos leaving???? unless you're having a panic attack or have to go to the bathroom we all proceed. So now the church can say it gave you a choice to leave but this is called Psychological pressure. We all make the covenants on the spot together not individual and no discussion no fine print. And they do not discuss if you break these SERIOUS SERIOUS covenants the leaders can and will discipline you and subject to excommunication.... more FEAR SHAME & GUILT. (Gulp) Then we make covenants to wear garments 24/7 control If you don't wear them then you will not be "protected".. more FEAR SHAME & GUILT (Gulp). After the mission trying to find a spouse in our sexual prime the leaders are constantly reminding us to "keep our temple Covenants" we have to remain WORTHY at all times to hold the priesthood and enter the temple. (its not even possible) anytime you sin in the least degree its a constant shame your not worthy. I found out most people just live a lie.. Ego takes over... And it hurts the ones who tell the truth and or have issues. It only works for people who think they are perfect or close to it. It has caused me depression anxiety PTSD plenty of panic attacks. I never took it too serious I just did what they said.

[@terrillmel]

The church convinced me that I was part of an epic test, in which God was giving me the opportunity to prove myself which ultimately required me to give up everything for him. Eternity was at stake for both me and my family and the enemy was the natural man (myself). And if the natural man existed in me it meant that I hadn't trully chosen God and was a hypocrite and God knew it. I pleaded often to be a better, purer, human. I never believed I would make it and hoped that one day God would work a miracle in me and change me to no longer want anything but him.

[@debbieshrubb1222]

😢

[@benjamingardea4511]

I can’t listen to this without getting emotional.

[@gladtobefreeagain7375]

I think spiritual abuse begins with the investigator/ missionary interaction. The primary school level mission discussions were ridiculously sanitized & provided little information about the full Mormon belief system let alone its culture. Absolutely deceitful & disrespectful, ironically for both potential convert & missionary. Marketing at its finest over integrity & informed consent. No wonder converts slide out as fast as possible. And, I think church presidency recently said the convert's baptismal forgiveness was retroactively withdrawn by God once he/she left church. That's a new one. Baptism is a temporary covenant now.

[@maddexq9107]

My understanding is that your covenants and things like baptism and confirmation are in effect and not voided until excommunication occurs even if you become inactive they are still in effect meaning you can repent and have access to the holy ghost’s promptings. So in that respect baptism has always potentially been a temporary covenant along with all the others. Please don’t start hating on my comment. I resigned in 2014 and am part of the queer community. I do not believe in the LDS church’s authority or truthfulness, and I left in 1995 for good, so maybe things have changed in that 30 year time span?

[@Latter-dailyDigest]

Awesome!

[@barryrichins]

Lila, Check out Mormonism Live episode 54, Mission Impossible. I talk about a nervous breakdown I had in 1962 while on my mission about 64 years ago. Let me known if there is anything in my story worthy of your book. Love, your friend Barry

[@Daniela_Explored]

So needed! Yes it needs to be made illegal somehow. ❤ I will definitely be sending in some stories:)

[@sleepycalico]

Lila, the field of psychology recognizes religious narcissism as a subtype of narcissism. I won't be surprised if most of the stories of religious abuse you will hear will fall within that, so you might want to familiarize yourself with religious narcissism, if you aren't already.

[@dianethulin1700]

Listening to this I’m hearing Bob Dylan “because something is happening here but you don’t know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones” An awakening of something isn’t right about the status quo

[@marys.currie9026]

I thought that Landon was growing his hair long 😀

[@amazinmaven]

Wasn't it Margaret Toscano that ex'd over an article on spiritual abuse?

[@davidfrey5654]

I've been spiritually abused time and time again by ex-mo's.

[@evelyntaylor742]

I can relate. The truth hurts, doesn't it?

[@mormonishpodcast1036]

Obviously you don’t know what the term spiritual abuse means. Forcing someone to participate in religious practices they don't want to Preventing someone from practicing their religious beliefs Using religious teachings or leaders to force someone to stay in a marriage or relationship Using religious beliefs to excuse or blame someone for violence or abuse Using religious beliefs to manipulate or shame someone Using religious texts or beliefs to rationalize or minimize abusive behaviors. Please explain how an exmo did any of these to you?

[@ashleyclawson4363]

As an exmormon I’m genuinely curious how? I don’t ever want to co tribute to the abuse of others. Could you elaborate for educational purposes? Thanks in advance.

[@ashleyclawson4363]

@@evelyntaylor742could you possibly explain how so? I don’t ever want to perpetuate abuse.

[@maddexq9107]

David Frey’s comment was apparently just trolling and disingenuous as he has not bothered to respond to requests for clarification. Also, spiritual abuse seems impossible by definition because ex-mo’s do not have a religion or use religious authority to coerce others.