Healing Avoidant Attachment

Healing Avoidant Attachment
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Having an avoidant attachment style can leave someone feeling alone and unloved. Healing from avoidant attachment takes a lot of strength and dedication, but it's worth it to have happier relationships.
#avoidantattachment #attachmentstyles #attachment
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*Ryan Liberty is not a licensed therapist, lawyer, health care professional or counselor. Ryan Liberty does not provide psychological counseling, therapy or legal council.

[@elevatedbyelle]

THANK YOU. I just watched a different KZbin video that basically told people to run. And it's not helpful. I am transitioning away from an avoidant attachment style (as a female) and I am not at all denying it and getting help for something I didn't ask to be burdened with. I do want to change and I need encouragement when I am willing to put in the work to heal myself. I know it has hurt my partner but I am being accountable.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

Being avoidant doesn't make me feel stronger. It's a perpetual lie I am broadcasting to the world to make it look like I'm strong and comfortable. Damage control It makes me feel weak and pathetic. The more you do it, the more you hate yourself for doing it and the more you'll be likely to do it again.

[@lexabuzz]

We need more videos like this! It breaks the stigma for this kind of difficult personality that they can never change, (ex. Leave them, they will never change) which is totally not true. The fact that people with this kind of issue can access more resources is so helpful. Thank you for this!

[@heidi_d]

OMG thank you. I started wondering WTF is wrong with me?!?? I’ve been fighting a severe depression for over a decade, and have a LOT of childhood issues. This makes SO much sense, and I just need to know what I can do about it! Thank you!!

[@pampj8501]

Sorry for the novel. I am an Avoidant in a relationship with an Anxious. For the most part I handle my emotions well. I have a serious issue with reassurance. If I get in a mood I typically say, hey I am feeling some kind of way and then I will get quiet. I don’t leave, I don’t start acting weird or looking for validation elsewhere. I will read a book or do some sort of craft. Me trying to self- regulate triggers her need for reassurance. So she will ask if I am happy. I say yes, I know it doesn’t seem like it now, and this is why…… then she counters that with are you happy with me. I say yes again and she counters with more questions. It makes me question my every move like what am I doing or not doing that she keeps questioning me wanting to be with her. Sometimes she goes into well you only kissed me two times and you usually kiss me three or you held my hand but didn’t caress it with your thumb. All the things I didn’t do in that moment ( when I have already stated that I am in a mood) over shadows all of the effort I put in even though I don’t really feel it I the moment. That triggers my “I am not good enough trauma “ now I am sad and what’s the point of doing anything. I try to counter and explain even more and then she finds something to get upset about, now she is upset and I am frustrated and want to pull away even more. Then she says I act like I want out and in those moments I do, but I say no, not making decisions based on what would have been a temporary mood. But she pushes for more answers until I feel so trapped I do want out and and say so. Now I’m the bad guy for breaking up with her. Sometimes I just feel it would be better to be alone. It is certainly easier. I can show and receive emotions to my kids, my friends, my co-workers, and even strangers. But my Anxious partner and I trigger each other on the daily. It is exhausting.

[@brianhoneycutt5938]

So I am littlw confused here. Grew up with two avoidant larents, and I do have some of those tendencies, especially romantically. However, I am very in tune with my feelings and often can express them with others, more than most really. The stories I identify are not wanting to have someone because then I would feel good and also believing no one will ever really want to get to know me.

[@tamilomuti2012]

Very helpful and encouraging - thank you!

[@liztorres1173]

My bf is the anxious one and he told me once that having feelings is OK- feelings don’t need permission. And since im the dismissive one, i always feel safer avoiding having to express my feelings... work in progress though

[@samhassell1019]

Ryan, I think you do a great job with these videos and describing what avoidant attachment is. I have definitely struggled with avoidant attachment in my life, and just seeing your videos (and your personality!) has helped me be more forgiving of myself, understand my own behavior a little behavior, and most importantly it's given me hope! I do want to be close to people, but I just get so overwhelmed! It's going to be hard, but I believe a little more that I can change because of you. Thank you.

[@autismenlightenment]

Hi Ryan it was neat to see you this morning. I just got my autism diagnosis and i was told i have severe alexithymia. All this emotional stuff is what im trying to learn to navigate. Ive been trying to slow down and figure out all the sensory stuff but ive avoided looking at the emotional aspect and avoided emotion to the point of physical sickness. Looking for a more functional way. This was a good video and it was perfectly timed.

[@sparklylittlechicken]

You are so likeable. I just discovered your channel. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you.

[@jodam96]

I like your glasses

[@Serch_YB27]

Thank you I needed this information in my life, hoping I can be better

[@auroramarlowe]

So, so helpful. Thank you for your contribution.

[@vanej4553]

Thank you so much for this video Watching your relationship with avoidant attachment video, it described me to a T. I thought I was just an introvert, didn't realize I was repressing my feelings. Will practice identifying, labeling, and sharing emotions. Any tips for if we have a hard time labeling them? Thank you again!!

[@karenchenger5205]

The part where you say speaking about the emotions doesn't have to be anxiety inducing it's just communication... Ryan it's more than just communication and it isn't optional as it whether it's anxiety inducing etc

[@jinrounan]

really love your videos and the way you speak, rational but full of human. keep up

[@JasmineAmaa]

Really helpful. Thanks for sharing x

[@m17434]

THANK YOU! I grew up thinking that it was not safe to have my feelings. I am now learning to heal from this disability. Lucia Cappachione's working with the other hand really helped. Keep making more videos.

[@fredday091]

finally! Thank you!