Healing Our Inner Child | Internal Family Systems, Explained - Part 5 of 5

[@jackierogers6008]

I am just starting therapy at 59 years old with a therapist that uses the IFS method. She gave me the link for your series. I am a crying mess because I think this can work for me. I am angry I didn't know about this a longgggggggg time ago, but I am so grateful to you for explaining it so wonderfully.

[@DrToriOlds]

You're so welcome!! I also truly do hope it works for you...

[@4465Vman]

im almost 58..i did about six years if "talk therapy " uses...im interested in this IFS

[@elenahorton1375]

I’m going to be 60 this month. I feel same way. I wish I could find a therapist in my areas

[@4465Vman]

@@elenahorton1375 goto their website and seeif theres anyone in your area

[@emmamacaillen2683]

Yes I so agree...at 80!

[@oldrobby]

My IFS journey has just begun at age 75! I have only watched two videos so far but will eventually watch them all. My therapist gave me a 27 page PDF explaining the system. That led me to search the web which brought me to your videos. Excellent! I can't wait to start unblending.

[@iw9338]

That's wonderful,all the best to you 😅

[@BersH-m2p]

Hi 8 months later! hope you're as good as you can be Would it be possible to share that PDF ? I would absolutely LOVE to read it!

[@Adrian-sl9zj]

I’ve just started IFS at 49. I’ve been in a recovery community for 23 years, and worked ever so hard on myself. Even with all the hard work things just still don’t seem right. I have a mind that won’t let things alone. Serious intimacy issues along with other things. It’s been tough but I do have faith in this type of work. It’s an amazingly new way to look at things. This lady is very clever and informed 👍

[@Youdontknowyetbutuwill]

She’s the best

[@LifeLessons-ElderMillennial]

I've been dabbling around the edges of IFS for about a year now, but after watching this series a penny finally dropped for me. I think I know what to do now. Thank you for this series - it had the perfect blend of the science with the art - which made it just perfect for my brain. Truly appreciative to have come across your channel.

[@natalieg2867]

I am a therapist really enjoyed this series on IFS. I found it so helpful but interesting and surprising as in the end, when the protectors wern't needed.. It brought me to tears. I have my own trauma and protectors and I felt not just a sens of whew relief tears, but grief, sadness in them going.. like parting ways with a caretaker.. it felt sad and so I guess I have more work to do haha but wondered if that was another part feeling grief? or just the litte girl who has lived her life with these proectors and some attachment issues letting them go.

[@ST60097]

This video made me tear up and I'm a grown man. My younger self needed to hear this so badly. Thank you so much!

[@avinashanand122]

I finally feel healed. After 33 years. Thank you so much. I can't express my gratitude in words.

[@DrToriOlds]

That’s so wonderful to hear! Thanks for sharing :)

[@jimjimdiego]

omg. the idea of negotiating with inner selves sounds crazy. And brilliant."Just sign this contract, Jimmy"

[@SaabKen]

"Dr. Tori' presents IFS and other modalities with so much clarity, wisdom and insights. I've not yet found a better summary of IFS, inner child work and reconsolidation than Dr. Tori's. I regularly share her videos with my counselling peers as not only is it CE-worthy but also as great resources for our own discoveries and healing. Thank you for all that you do.

[@DrToriOlds]

Oh wow, thanks so much for this comment!! And for sharing these videos along!! I truly appreciate that! ;) Feel free to reach out through my website if you ever want to do an online or zoom training with me! ;)

[@zazo2911]

I recently stumbled on IFS after decades of conventional “evidence” based psychotherapy which wasn’t helping. It gave me hope but struggled to get my mind around the concepts. I really love and appreciate these videos presented with wisdom and kindness. Dr Tori’s simple and compassionate approach is helping me access this amazing method of self healing. They are a joy to watch, and she sings as well! Thank you so much Dr Tori.

[@scotchvelo]

Sounds familiar. I did over a decade of psychodynamic therapy. While enlightening, it literally did nothing for my anxiety, depression, anger, guilt or shame. Hoping IFS is different.

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks for the kind words, Nick!! I agree that many of our conventional methods just don't go deeply enough to touch many people's inner world in a meaningful way. I wish you luck on your journey...

[@DrToriOlds]

I hope so too!

[@ptanyuh]

i'm slowly getting to this place, but right now i absolutely RESENT that i have to do this because i didn't have a caring parent. i'm still too angry i think, and the pictures of adults comforting children in this video make me either want to cry or want to throw up.

[@YouTubeShepherd]

The resentful side of you is another part. I’ve been the same. Understand that other part actually protected you but now it doesn’t serve you. Every blessing to you

[@HolyMateria]

Thank you so much for this. I just finished the series (all in one day, because I couldn't stop watching), and I've already discovered multiple protectors and exiles within myself. Hopefully I'll be able to reconcile with them soon. But just knowing they are there, and using the language of parts, has already started a healing journey for me! Thank you so much!

[@franciszekserwa7518]

That is truly a bomb of a serie. I will come back to each of these videos because they're so rich in information I feel I didn't even grasp a half of it! Fantastic, professional production, your truly soothing and convincing presence - wow! Thanks so, so much for it. I feel I'll find some very helpful ideas on my internal healing journey :) Ciao!

[@fringbabyross4718]

My therapist does this work with me. It is so powerful. I’m so grateful and thankful for her

[@antoinetteparker5169]

Wow...what a well put together and presented series. You make this so easy to understand. You deliver in such an awesome way. You are compassionate and non judgemental and your videos give people a sense of hope without it seeming so dauntly impossible to heal and understand oneself. I think so many people are trying to connect to their true selves and don't even really understand what that means and who that is because of all the layers of hurt and trauma and unexplained behaviours. People are seeking answers in so many different ways and places but you have, in this short series simplified and explained us complex human beings and given such an awesome sense of hope of understanding why we heave certain ways even when we feel we don't resonate with that behaviour. Thank you. ❤❤❤

[@perrisdreydmc]

This has changed my life in a very small amount of time. So grateful for IFS Therapy and your content as well

[@michaelhyder5115]

As a therapist I share this often with my clients, but I probably have watched it more than all of them combined ha. Thank you for crafting this video and explaining these ideas so well. Helps me get prepared for sessions/in the right mindset to do good work as it gets me connected to my own parts in such a helpful way. Thanks again for your work!

[@markpowell6773]

I feel you are very, very good at this. Your videos have really helped me in my IFS journey to heal my trauma. Thank you.

[@christinegorman3629]

This was so beautifully hopeful. Tears streaming down my face. Thank you ❤

[@gabbyoneill868]

You're wonderful. I love the work that you're doing with sharing this work with others. I'm a therapist and I feel like this is coming at the right time, not only to help clients heal, but myself as well. Thank you.

[@lilyannarose]

Love this - having EMDR ATM and it's awesome to learn to basically love yourself. I was angry, frustrated and lonely - even though I am a mum and married to a man. Have so many unresolved inner child issues with my Mum - that I had no idea were there. This is wonderful - am doing this work now - it's not easy xxx thank you so much

[@paulak3221]

Wow! So heartwarming. There is healing in your words. Thank you.

[@michaelaohare2755]

I finally found a therapist that suggested a cptsd diagnosis and asked me to look into IFS parts work. I listened to podcasts, found tiktoks and articles and videos and it just wouldn't clicking! I'm so grateful to have come across your videos, I love the way you describe the parts and make it more understandable! 💕

[@JesseMovingMountains]

This is the best video ever. I paused it several times to integrate it and update my inner child. I just want to say thanks. This really helped, tonight.

[@CatDuvalNineLivesYoga]

How, what step by step method did you use?

[@christopherlall2889]

This video was very informative and changed my life forever. Thank you for sharing this.

[@chrismontoya4266]

Strong work Dr Tori!!!

[@donwalker117]

Im getting relief from a pattern ive been stuck with for most of my life from this beautiful way to accept instead of fight with. Way more at ease. Thank you so much

[@georginacretegny6119]

Thank you so much, Tori. A clear explanation for me of why my son couldn’t take it anymore 😢 and at the same time now I can fully enter into the amazing therapy offered by my French speaking IFS therapist because I get it! At last! After 6months of trying, your video series makes it crystal clear. Thank you for the part you’re playing in my healing journey ❤

[@PluviophileTraveller]

I just found your channel and am really appreciating it! I love the way you explain things and your voice has such a soothing and musical tone to it! Thank you for all you do for us therapists (and beyond)!

[@lindaholmes4746]

Thank you so much for this series!

[@jurgislusis4155]

How is IFS different from schema therapy? They sound pretty similar. Thank you very much for this helpful content. You really are making this world a better place. "It is never too late to have a healthy childhood". Loved it.

[@Cungnhaututap]

Thank you Doctor, your work is amazing. I love you.

[@MichaelMalinowski-c8v]

They wounded the spirit of a beautiful child

[@sebastianskylark4591]

Love your videos. Thank you :D

[@markamarzan]

thank you so much for this series. it’s been truly life changing

[@DrToriOlds]

I’m so glad to hear that!!! :)

[@healwith.ashley]

This has all been so helpful! Thank you so much for taking the time to make these videos. hugs!

[@kinglion5435]

Dr. Tori is the best exponent of IFS I like how she is able to show the similarities with to my mind a much clearer model Coherence therapy

[@debipettit6479]

Thank you so much for this video series. This was such a good compliment to doing IFS with my psychologist. 😊

[@markartist8646]

Thank you for this series! Hugely helpful and represents my beginning with this work. It resonates with my previous healing work and seems the next, and hopefully the final step. Peace!

[@mediacaolegal7586]

You are brilliant!

[@tinalouisewilson]

I’m about to be 61 and have been in therapy for 4 decades with some very talented therapists and have tried every medication and healing modality under the sun to no avail. My suffering is so unbearable at times that living is a real challenge. I’m just beginning to use this model with my 2 therapists. I’ve also been reading a book “Healing the Fragmented Selves of trauma Survivors” by Janina Fisher who uses IFS and studied with Richard Schwartz (creator of IFS) and Bessel van der Kolk . I’m hoping with every cell in my body that this works for me.

[@LasVegasSand_s]

What a great series thank you so much!

[@louiseellerby1853]

A wonderful series explaining IFS and I love the images within. I will be recommending the explanation videos to my clients. 🙂

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Louise!! ;)

[@menuchahats6760]

Thank you Dr. Olds, I appreciate every word and your gentle clarity.

[@loekbongaarts2130]

Though I'm not doing IFS but schema therapy, this video series was very helpful. You explained it beautifully and the video editing was very helpful too. Thank you very much!!

[@abelenriquez8485]

Thanks!

[@DrToriOlds]

Wow, that's a very generous 'super thanks!' Abel!! Really appreciate that! ;)

[@QCDoggies]

Beautiful video! You're very talented, thanks for your work ❤️

[@hclements3884]

Thank you so much for this video series! I recently developed an interest in trying internal family systems for healing, and your videos were excellent in explaining it all and helping me begin to understand myself better.

[@DrToriOlds]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad to hear that the content has been helpful to you.

[@arch94]

thank you Dr. it has been freeing to watch and digest your series, thank you so much.

[@athenaheart]

Thank you Dr. Tori...I truly appreciate this.

[@kevfinsed]

Dr Olds, this series and your other videos are great, high value resources and are greatly appreciated. I have a question related to IFS. Why is it always spoken of as if the trauma was isolated to early childhood? How would this process look different if the trauma was ongoing into adulthood and the fallout from the first twenty years causing new and overwhelming consequences in the following twenty years? Finally, what if the adult self, the one who is supposed to be solid, resourced and in a position to care for the younger inner child is themself a hot mess? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[@MizzNixx86]

Good question! I'd love to know, too.

[@FenderBlack]

these series are genius! and you are incredible :)

[@JR-xo8td]

You present IFS in a way that makes sense. Thank you. You embody the c's. Especially compassion , calmness and clarity. Taking in your videos has inspired me to find a therapist who uses IFS. I will start in a few weeks. Question: If the goal, after careful preparation of getting to know, appreciate, care for and gain the trust of protectors, is to lead to moments where the big S self help the exile heal, What happens with the protectors in time, after the healing takes place? Do they tend to be more mellow, chilled out, less involved? Do they get to go off and play kickball and tag (sorry, I'm not trying to make light of this). Do they cease to exist completely? Do they get absorbed into to the adult/ big S? From my career working with people with disabilities I recall one client many years ago who had a dissociative disorder who described the goal of her therapy was to (paraphrased) have her various "alter" personalities absorbed into her dominant, host personality. That seems almost opposite of the intent of IFS. I hope this question makes sense. I hope you get a chance to respond, do a new video on this topic or direct me to a video you have done that describes this. I'm taking them all in! Your videos give hope during some moments that seem quite bleak. Thank you so very much. -Jack

[@JR-xo8td]

I think I found part of an answer in your No Bad Parts video. The protectors can become smaller, take up less space, I think a little contained, but still there.

[@DrToriOlds]

Great question, Jack!! You are right that in IFS, the idea is that we don't need to 'get rid of' parts. There is actually this beautiful moment after the healing work with the wounded part is complete where the protectors are asked to step back in and witness (to their relief) that the exile is now safe and in the care of the adult self. Then they are asked what 'burdens' they might want to let go of (like feeling pressured to be perfect), and what (if anything) they would like to do for the system now. Yes, some just want a vacation. Some want to be useful (after all they have developed a lot of skill!), but in some less forced way. So lots of options...but ultimately the protector gets to choose. But in some ways they are 'free' now--from the burdensome role they had to fill. Hope that helps!

[@CatDuvalNineLivesYoga]

@@DrToriOldsdo you have a list of questions so I can try this? I would like to know how to guide myself from the beginning to middle and end of a session.

[@joyfullivingwithkath]

This was a wonderful series - incredibly informative and helpful. Thank you!

[@willmurphy6663]

Thanks amazingly clear. my experience both for an adult child and watching other adult children it's not that simple/painless.... but I still really appreciate all your work

[@mishkameow]

Your channel and your manner are simply a delight. Went to your website and am looking forward to doing some of the classes on offer over the summer.

[@AMY-jd7sk]

8K followers. Very well deserved. These vids are so clear and helpful. Thank you.

[@heedmydemands]

Such a great series. I'm gonna try it out.

[@SamuelMorrison-xv2nr]

Amazing, thanks Dr Tori.

[@karenvoorhees618]

Such great work! This is the best explanation and presentation of IFS that I have seen :)

[@davidblack1353]

This is dynamite - thank u so much… it ties up a lot of loose ends for me regarding the nature of emotions and good mental health :) :)

[@DrToriOlds]

So glad to hear that! Thanks for letting me know! ;)

[@sarahemmons7555]

Thank you so much 🥰 where can we find your music?

[@farzanehsharifi8273]

Thank you, Dr. Olds! The videos are fantastic, and I've learned so much. I do have one question, though-how do inherited genes influence our behaviors and characteristics? What about them? We didn't learned them.

[@luizlunkes3992]

Amazing!!! Absolutely.

[@hmsbeckett]

Wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

[@fifi-starchild]

thank u so much! ♥Starchild

[@telebish]

Hey! I've been loving your videos on IFS and wonder if you could do one that specifically talks about eating disorders

[@sean89564]

Dr. Olds, this is brilliant! As a therapist this is so very helpful!

[@rem97881]

I'm a therapist too. A new one, but still. I like the way she explains things. Her explanations are right up there with Dr. Schwartz.

[@shanijensen9933]

Beautiful song at the end, which I understand is your own. Which song is this, and can it be found with your other songs on Apple Music?

[@DrToriOlds]

You know, I haven't released that song in any format yet. I'm about to release a new album, but that song I'm holding off until my next album even. But I will definitely put it on youtube before that. If you'd like to contact me through my website (with your email), I'd be happy to email it to you, also... ;)

[@itsthelittlethings100]

3:54 - "What do you fear would happen if you [stopped protecting]?"

[@susanbetalleluz7124]

Your videos are so powerful. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@TheMysticTable]

It is interesting to me that my shamanic journeys align with what you talked about. Though to be fair. I sometimes take out protectors, permanently. Which symbolically is transforming them from the form they are back to their initial archetypal form. The inner child parts I rescue, I always bring back to the inner Round Table, where there are both protective/nurturing parts of me, and myself. So the inner child parts feels more safe. Though when integrating, there indeed is a fine balance between both protective and inner child. Sometimes I still lean too much to the inner child being too close, or the other way around. So this really helps.

[@kellypratt4375]

This is such a beautiful introduction Tori🦋!

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Kelly! I really appreciating you taking a second to leave a comment ;)

[@clarysagemannoroth]

Thank you ❤

[@itsthelittlethings100]

1:56 - 🎶 Blocked 🎶

[@tulyanond]

so clearly explained, thank you

[@urshki]

Sincerely thank you. Truly amazing vids! I only have one request. If you could add to the video titles part 1, part 2 etc, it would make it easier to go between them.

[@traegermethod3802]

I've watched the series twice over two nights, you are a truly gifted teacher. Profound gratitude to you and Dr Schwartz. Can you tell us who makes the music at the end of this video?

[@CatDuvalNineLivesYoga]

I want to practice this on myself but I need a step by step outline of what to do. Do you have one I can download?

[@MarkThrive]

11:05 When our Parts feel safe our True Self "S" emerges..😊❤️‍🩹😊❤️ 🙏

[@NorthtoSouthx]

I really appreciate you and this wonderful series which is really beautifully and succinctly explained. Thank you. I have real hope now and look forward to meeting my true Self.

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Jo!! Yes, I wish you luck in meeting your 'true self' for sure!! It's a wonderful mission....

[@annahgracci]

I love all your lessons! I grow up!!

[@douwebeerda]

Anybody know what the beautiful song is on the end of this video. Shazam doesn't recognize it, typing the lyrics doesn't give a result. Really would love to know and give a listen to that whole song.

[@pennywilson9910]

Thank You :)

[@Ruebenjohn8867]

Hello how are you doing today?

[@HeatherRose23]

I kinda kept phasing in and out while watching these videos, but the parts I was able to hold onto made sense. Does this therapy work with folk who lose bits of memory when they dissociate?

[@mileswhite4329]

This series has been immensely helpful to me. However, I am not in a position to work with a therapist and really I would rather work the IFS methodology on my own. Please let me know what I can do from here to further this work for myself. Thank you.

[@randalwing4433]

Great series. Thank you for providing this.

[@DrToriOlds]

You're welcome! Thanks for the nice comment :)

[@mattm9746]

Impressive and insightful, thanks!

[@DrToriOlds]

You're welcome! ;)

[@tanyalucas3169]

Is IFS therapy best for treating people like me who is suffering from sexual, emotional, physical, verbal and neglect for over 25 years now. I feel mentally exhausted,there is no help in my country and I have been trying to heal myself so please would greatly appreciate your recommendations.🙏❤

[@deepeddypsychotherapy]

FABULOUS!! So helpful!!

[@DrToriOlds]

Thank you!! :)

[@youngpilgrim5]

Hello Dr Olds! I thoroughly appreciate your work, and am inspired! A question for you: what resources do you recommend for grief work, both for clinician and client? Many thanks! Chris

[@stefanibojkova216]

Thank you so much you are gold 💛

[@scottmcelroy2322]

Appreciate you, Dr. Olds. So helpful.

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Scott!! I appreciate you too!! (And miss you)...

[@tamaranesic4917]

I love you, thank you.

[@sophiapace]

Thank you so much I'm very grateful for your videos and the way you deliver them. I have a question on the process after you unburden them. R.Schwartz talks on the importance of checking up on them, not to forget them. Do you have any advice/videos on this? thank you!

[@Ruebenjohn8867]

Hello how are you doing today

[@primalumina]

Thank you❤

[@blmjr]

I L-O-V-E these videos! Thank you so much for this beautiful gift. What was that music at the end of the video? That singer has the voice of an angel!

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Billy!! You're the best! ;) And thanks for noticing my singing. :) Miss you!

[@news2jennifer]

It is a wonderful song. Many of my parts found it loving and calm and welcoming. (And wishing you will post it somewhere.) I really appreciate your channel. It has been very safe and helpful in my healing journey. Thank you.

[@holistictraveller4217]

Hi..can i do IFS therapy on my own..kindly please do recommend me some books,and resources tonstart my journey.

[@itsthelittlethings100]

4:02 - "Who are you protecting?"

[@NilgunYetis]

Dr. Tori when i do this my adult is not strong enough to make an aggrement. How can i protect her as an adult while i am not feeling adult in that subject so i tried to do this exercise from other trainer but i could not do it. What eill advise to have string adult who can give true protection and support?