Healthy Vs Unhealthy Boundaries: How to Tell The Difference

[@seth_piano]

1. In order to feel safe emotionally, I need: Space and time to think, feel, process, and communicate. I am a slow and thorough communicator in a world of people offended about "getting left on read" for 10 minutes. 2. I feel the most emotionally unsafe in relationships when: My words are used against me in disingenuous ways - in which the person would rather "win" the argument than solve any meaningful problems or reach any meaningful understanding. This has occurred to me both in my childhood and in a long-term romantic relationship. I don't yet know how to mitigate this if it comes up in the future. I would like to have a more balanced approach that's less vigilant/on-edge. 3. I feel the most excited and connected when: Strangely, when we can feel calm together. "Excited" isn't really what I'm after, at least not right now. Calm, comfort, and ease of connection are where it's at. 4. I'm the most attracted to: Kindness, openness, direct communication, a willingness to sit with unknown/uncomfortable/new emotions. 5. I'm the least attracted to: strict, rigid, unhelpful expectations, especially regarding gender. I want to be a person first, and I want to be with a person first. 6. My relationship to my own emotions is: lol 7. I want my relationship to my own emotions to be: I want to have better control of how my emotions relay to my actions. My emotions must be indicators of focus, motivation, and attention. They should not be the sole dictating force of action -- or in my case, often, inaction.

[@rebeccaz994]

Poor kim. My mother used to yell that ok she was a terrible mother and for me to shut up. Ugh. There was no concept of bounderies in the 70s and 80s when I needed it most! Tnx briana.

[@ronb9901]

And what happens when your boundaries are in conflict? Ex: one of her guy “friends” was asking her out via text, I happened to see the text and asked her about it, she said he didn’t know we were together, she assumed he knew. She said he knows now but still allows him to text or call and she’ll reply as well. My boundary says she should have cut him loose as soon as he crossed the “friend” line. Her boundary is she can be friends with whom she wants and it doesn’t matter to her what he wants, she’s just friends.

[@Alimck333]

Thank you so much for your content 💞🙌🏾🌱💚 so very grateful

[@ErinnAlissaSelkis]

Wow. Not proud, but I totally did this to my ex 😢I didn’t understand then how my own lack of sense of self and my fear of disappointing him or of him leaving disallowed his experience sometimes, and made it about me. Clearly comes from my mom who did the same, just not so openly. I feel like it took truly finding more self worth to heal this. Anything else you recommend to not go down that road again?

[@angelmossucco]

You’re smart to admit fault and grow.❤

[@mer-ced-es]

Oh my God I AM THIS GIRL KIM. Except my parents were more extreme. How do you know me so well Briana? 😅 And thanks for the 7 questions... I hope I'll have the strength to go through all these healing processes... God help me...

[@CandidlySubtle]

Can you explain how Kim's father's reactions are considered as "isolative?" Also, how should you respond / reach someone who is being emotionally isolative?

[@adinubila]

fantastic explanation

[@laurasandlin9098]

The emotion I feel about my own emotions is ... annoyance

[@nugget6635]

Emotions beget nothing go back to work!

[@myworld-underthesun]

Informative 👍

[@sala320]

I feel.. emotionally unsafe cause I am not attractive to women 😞 I cannot retain a partner because I am not attractive/physically unattractive.. I don’t know what to do

[@jodlkopp7434]

Holy hell, is this all about mystical emotional boundaries? Is there any reality and logic too anything? This needs substance and science

[@sanji546]

Boundaries happen when whn you yourself healthy