Why Does Your ADHD Make Things So Hard?

We made Dr. K's Guide to ADHD and Doing Stuff so you can focus on the things you actually want to. It is full of lectures, neuroscience, worksheets, meditation, and more. Check it out today: bit.ly/3qvHKBr
▼ Timestamps ▼
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0:00 - Reddit meme
1:27 - Reddit Post - "I have concerns about 'Your ADHD is an advantage' video"
3:01 - ADHD and hyperfocus
6:24 - Neurodiversity research
10:20 - Differing Perspectives
12:52 - ADHD is a spectrum
15:49 - Clarifying 'benefits'
17:54 - Illnesses are not homogenous
18:10 - Default mode network
20:52 - Research on the positives of ADHD
21:40 - Selection Bias
24:23 - Dynamic minds
26:43 - What should I believe?
31:29 - Your issues do not have to define who you are
32:47 - Why you should seek treatment
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[@Vic-Valentine]

worst thing about my adhd is i dont even have the patience to watch this video to help me

[@konrTF]

Lmao I've dipped off the tab like 9 times

[@adgefreeman6091]

I feel this

[@TheFinrodInglorion]

Same. But i can watch just about any other 2 hour video without a problem cuz it's more interesting to my brain. Very annoying, i have that with all of Dr. K's videos.

[@saelol301]

Felt

[@picklem576]

Play a game while listening, as long as the game can be played "mindlessly" and there isn't much reading or character's speaking to pay attention to. I've listened to hours of Dr. K while playing Bloodborne.

[@uku4171]

Another problem is that "hyperfocus" wears off and you lose interest. Many people with ADHD spend large amounts of money on interests and hobbies they will abandon after a month or so and never come back to. This also means they can't use their hyperfocus to advance their careers, as they will likely start to hate their job that they were very recently super passionate about.

[@pottop880]

I remember having "phases" of my hyperfocus even wayyy before when I was a kid then growing up. From different magazines like for girls, disney, for boys or cool topics, anime.... to novels, then to games like BoTW or splatoon, etc... but Genshin kept my interest for 2 years now lol.

[@uku4171]

@@pottop880 it's a struggle when you get interested in expensive hobbies and every time are convinced that it will stick, which of course it won't.

[@jchoneandonly]

You can game that system sometimes if you can figure out how to anticipate burnout and swap hobbies beforehand

[@notshawkee9234]

@@pottop880i had that too

[@mikafoxx2717]

Me, who has spent dozens of hours reading about various things and ending up buying far more than I need even though I know logically that's the case. Like buying 5 pairs of headphones for over 1k type bad. Or 7 high performance flashlights for 300 dollars.. etcetera. And even worse, spending hours upon hours a day reading forums for a week on end, or watching every single video KZbin has on the subject. And it might take a year for that interest to cycle back around. The least harmful type of hyperfocus would be that if it's interesting, I'll easily read a novel in a single day. It can get problematic if I get deep into it and read a book series for basically every free hour of every day for a week straight. And yet all the things I logically want to do, I almost can't unless I catch myself in just the right mood, or have ADHD medication that diminishes the barrier to doing it. Though said medication also doesn't help one not focus on the things they want to, just that it's easier to put it down when you actually need to.

[@abbieamavi]

looking back, what made me actually angry, mad, almost raging, was realizing how easy school was for others not because I was lazy, unfocussed, or didn't care, but because I literally had to fight my brain everyday just to do what a normal person could without trying.

[@user-th4cn1uv1p]

Dizz happens to me all the time

[@michaelstephens360]

Brushing your teeth counting as an accomplishment . When you know, you know.

[@ChaoticNeutralMatt]

If it helps the average school just sucks regardless. It was designed for a specific function and we haven't changed it up

[@newbleppmore7855]

I remember a girl in school randomly asking me, Why dont you care about anything?

[@TakingJupiter]

@@michaelstephens360 finally I see someone say it, ok so embarrassed about it all the time but it’s just so hard. It really is an accomplishment to get done. P.S. thanks for the reminder

[@SIC647]

My mom was exactly: "They can focus, so it can't be that". The kindergarten teachers suggested that I might have ADHD, but my mom laughed it off, since "You could easily focus on things you were interested in, and you were a bright girl". She told me this, when I got diagnosed at age 40....as a fun little thing that came to mind for her...😑

[@Samuel-qg2bh]

I’m in the same boat as you. I was diagnosed this week with it and my life makes so much more sense lmao. I’ve struggled very hard in college and try to tell people I just can’t focus and I’m not sure why. Now I know why and it’s validation to a point

[@JK-ek5jv]

Oh boy. Yeah. Thanks Mom. 😂🥰❤ I was “gifted” and put into special classes for part of my days starting in 2nd grade....but no one questioned something might be wrong when in third grade I was sitting at the table at night crying about homework...or when I went on to not have excellent grades....meaning they gave me the label of gifted and left it without ever questioning why I wasn’t living up to my full potential. School was so difficult for me until nursing school because I was actually interested in all my classes...it was still extra work for me to push through and manage my time and keep up.

[@lizardwizard2444]

same here, diagnosed at 29 lol

[@arturcuryllo5832]

In the meantime, you have fallen behind 10 years in life. Same here.

[@annabelcleare138]

I’m nearly 55 and was finally diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. At school I was always described as “very bright but lazy” or “a daydreamer”. One of the comments which comes back to haunt me even now was my form tutor confiding to me when I was in Upper Sixth (year 13 in modern) that when I started at my Grammar school they’d had me down as a “science student” due to my high test scores (98% in my first physics exam) but I ended up as a mediocre “arts student” with only one A level (instead of the expected 3). Fast forward 30 years and I’ve never been able to drag myself off the bottom rung of the employment ladder. Perhaps I should’ve been less lazy and tried harder?? I’m now grieving for all those lost opportunities and a wasted brain. But at least I am starting to forgive myself… my glass remains half full (when I concentrate really hard and don’t get dist

[@undeadbunny4719]

The problem is that we ended up calling it hyperfocus only when it benefited us. When I have to study for my exam but all I can think about is the other five things I want to do instead, it's not hyperfocus, it's the damn ADHD.

[@tookitogo]

Right? A few weeks ago, I had to pull two consecutive all-nighters to finish a project for school, largely because of falling down numerous rabbit holes of reading up on interesting things having nothing to do with the project. If my brain doesn’t want to focus on a task I don’t want to do, it just won’t do it, no matter how much I try. :/

[@kattodoggo3868]

@@tookitogo when you have project to finish but start researching egg vs chicken and you end up learning about black hole psychics

[@tookitogo]

@@kattodoggo3868 I know EXACTLY what you mean! And from black hole physics you end up reading about black (the color), then black pigments, then clothes dyes, then the Citarum river, then nasi goreng, …

[@AlwafiCharki]

very true , first half hour i study and my focus at its peak but after that i start losing focus and totally get distracted in random ideas

[@nidiashalabi2036]

Which is why “attention deficit” is so misleading. It isn’t a lack of attention but rather the inability to control how much you can maintain focus and attention on what. For things that feed your brain dopamine (aka things you like) this tends to become hyper focus. For things that do not feed your brain the much needed dopamine (aka things you don’t like or don’t stimulate your brain) you cannot force your brain to focus, or feel that dopamine rush…

[@mrpk646]

I found I could only hyperfixate on things when I had intense pressure to do something or a strong interest in something, and it definitely helps me do stuff quickly without breaking concentration. But it can be hard to get away from that state and stop what I am doing, and its tiring. Without that interest or pressure I find it very hard to do stuff I don't want to do. Like getting blood out of a stone. It does feel like flow state to me imo, but just more possessive.

[@Tirannie]

There's a good acronym for this that I like: INCU: Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency

[@aqune9578]

me too. right now i only really do my schoolwork when my grades get bad and i was only productive right before the semester was over so i could get my grades up. its really sucks

[@Omnihilo]

@sen Oh my god that explains so much. Video games literally hit all the adhd buttons. I never realized that.

[@jacobstone312]

@@Tirannie this is absolutely true. It's how I keep my room clean/do housework as a uni student. Most people are so surprised that my room is clean, but it's because I am passionate about not living in mess/being able to move around and stuff in my room. It stopped being a chore and instead made me feel bright and clean after doing it.

[@IQuickscopeCA]

@@EggEnjoyer i dont feel the fear or urgency motivation, not sure if its adhd or because i have asd and adhd but i feel that meme to my core. if im enjoying something i can achieve great things, if i dont enjoy something ill achieve less than nothing.

[@Rohtix]

My ADHD has ruined my early life. Now that I'm trying to get a grasp on it, I often find that I don't really enjoy much of anything anymore. I can't seem to tap into that passion or hyper-focus like I used to with creative stuff like writing. Everything feels either overwhelming or pointless. I don't really know what to do.

[@mindseye3185]

Same boat 🚤

[@yoshi4691]

I'm right there with you, man.

[@quimiu4400]

Same.

[@bhyden8425]

When I felt that way, mathematics saved me.

[@benjamintodd6885]

Invest in some 🍃

[@montycora]

I hate having ADHD, it has certainly ruined my life. I have been diagnosed recently, after spending 42 years of my life being a stupid dumb f**k. After taking Ritalin, my life has changed completely. After some testing, with Ritalin, I have 30+ points in my IQ.... My work performance has changed, I went back to college and I am getting great grades... it is another universe and I just wonder what my life would have been if I had taken this when I was in my early 20s. This thought messes me up big time. This is not a gift, it is a curse.

[@beckymcdonald9529]

I agree

[@tifthetif6567]

Iq is always the same

[@montycora]

@@tifthetif6567 - It is not, it changes as you get older... sorry to break it to you...

[@tifthetif6567]

@@montycora with age yes, buy not with ratilin...

[@montycora]

@@tifthetif6567 - Of course it does as well. The Ritalin corrects the attention deficit in the brain, thus elevating the IQ. Do you know that attention is part of the measurements of someone's IQ?

[@ohkaygoplay]

Does anyone else feel physical pain when you're forced to do something you have zero interest in, on top of getting distracted every five seconds even when you try your hardest to focus, because you know you have to get this horrible thing done or you'll be stuck there forever until "your plate is clean?" Being misunderstood, having assumptions made about me, told I'm just a daydreamer, forgetful, lazy, 'just focus. how hard is that?' too talkative, and that I'm faking everything DESPITE trying my absolute hardest not to be all of these things for my entire life, and having the strain and hardship and energy it took trying be instantly invalidated makes me rage-punch angry.

[@bluanemoon]

I can’t believe nobody responded. Yes, physically sick 😷 is how I feel when I’m forced.

[@yurishaa.9337]

Oh yes, of course my body turns the attacks into itself when I know I can't freaking punch the real problem, which are them who fed me up.

[@esinfa]

What works for me is to couple a dreaded task with spmething I like.. For example listen to books while doing housework or walk outside during a business call. This tricks my brain to feel like I am doing something fun and interesting so the dopamine hit comes..

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

I feel that last bit, but my fantasies are... dark and macabre, the likes of which are scarcely found in true crime stories. I generally view NTs with a baseline of resentment and disgust, and masking is something I need to do lest my true feelings are known and they conspire against me. Don't get me wrong: being feared offers a nice peace of mind and a relaxing power trip, but they outnumber us, and stepping into our power will cause mass resentment on their end leading to a democratic ousting. Just remember: Instill fear, but always give off an air of kindness. If you can't help it, it isn't your responsibility, so feel free to delegate tasks. This is our world, and they are living in it.

[@Chamieiniibet]

That describes my life in a nutshell.

[@mortalkomment8028]

Many gamers definitely have ADHD. It's the ideal playground for a mind that loves adventures, can't stop focusing on fun activities and has trouble focusing on boring tasks. A perfect mix for becoming a gaming addict.

[@SKRILLA777]

Agreed

[@simplyydream]

This is weird for me because I used to be like that but games have gotten boring for me too, I used to play hours s and hours each day but now I have to force myself to play more than half an hour.

[@teenytinytoons]

hence why i had to give up gaming after the xbox 360. i didn't know it at the time, but i could play for 16hrs a day no problem. i no longer play video games for this very reason. i'd get too caught up.

[@whatevraa]

In a 9 to 5 world filled with boring tasks that u have to do over and over again and never get any real rewards, playing a video game is the escape needed to not go completly insane. I dont consider myself a big gamer, but I use it to get away when life gets to much.

[@Eze_Aj_Steezy]

Fax

[@nura1627]

Omg! 4:55 Yes, that's it! Hyperfocusing is being *"unable to interrupt* what you are doing, when you should have shifted to doing something else." This is why I'm late everywhere, it's hard to stop being where I am.

[@rachelgriffiths1]

I find the whole transitioning process incredibly difficult.

[@noeliaurquizo4620]

Yes. The transition is what’s difficult

[@nura1627]

@@noeliaurquizo4620 Still figuring this out. ... Syncing... Sinking... 🙌 It helps to isolate the challenges enough to name them. Before that, it's this nebulous mess. Somehow both nothing and everything. How can we address what we cannot fathom? Others offer well-meaning but uncharitable explanations, ascribing lousy motivations that don't ring true. Invaluable being able to put it into words. Naming allows me to fill that void where comprehension and explanations would be. Small as this is, it's _true._

[@andacondanation1933]

It also just so happens to be the 'Most Replayed' timestamp in the video lol Had to listen to it three times to fully grasp what he was saying.

[@AliPi7]

The worst part about my ADHD is I disconnect very easily from people. If my husband goes on a trip and is gone for a few days, I go on about my days without him as if he never existed. It’s wild and horrifying to me. Same thing with friendships. I can abandon anyone and it’s like that person never existed.

[@roguequeen6323]

Yup

[@jack.6956]

Me too, has addiction of some sort been an issue for you? Be it alcohol or tobacco or whatever

[@AliPi7]

@@jack.6956 no addictions for me. I do use food for comfort and out of boredom.

[@jack.6956]

I see, relationships have always been very difficult for me. I forget holidays alot until last minute. Social situations can be confusing/tiring at best. And I don't seem to care about anything MOST others do like sports or concerts or whatever. Sometimes I wonder how I got lucky enough to have my son and family and friends yno?. I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone tho I guess.

[@jamiibear]

​@jack.6956 I've got ADHD and have the same experience as OP; many relationships ended because they think I just didn't care. I do struggle with substance abuse (nicotine and thc), and it started long before I even suspected I was ND. I've found that my diagnosis has absolutely helped my recovery process, but I still struggle.

[@adriansalinas1862]

I’m 17 and my whole life my dad never properly acknowledged my adhd or actively helped me with it. He always expected me to do good in school all by myself and never even looked at my grades. He would only start to yell at me when he would get a call from school saying I’m failing a class. He’ll hammer the idea to “just do it” and then I’ll be more responsible. This applied to cleaning my room or remembering little things. He would only yell when he’s confronted with a problem. At one point I forgot to do something small he told me to do and he straight up told me it’s because “I’m always thinking about video games.” I couldn’t make this shit up. I’ve never once proven him wrong because he’s never once admitted to being wrong (only when something serious happens). Whenever I brought up my ADHD my argument would immediately fall flat for him because “it’s just an excuse.” I’ve had good times with him and I know he loves me but holy shit I hate his guts. Just typing this is making me tear up because I had a dad that was never there for me and it fucking hurts.

[@mistyculous9644]

Maybe your dad experienced the same issues you're struggling with and he only had the ineffective strategy of getting angry at himself. Maybe "just do it" worked for him? Delivering a conclusion about what you should do because he doesn't have any idea about the really effective tools you need for a real solution is how minds work to simplify and classify problems. He can only imagine you "only care about gaming" because brains want simple solutions that don't require self-education or extra effort on his part. Although it seems as if parents know it all when you're a kid, parents definitely don't - no requirements to know anything to be a parent... Perhaps a school counselor or another relative could help you? Rather than mentioning ADHD, (which he says is only an excuse) perhaps better to say - I think this youTube video describes what I'm struggling with. I'd like to try some of these solutions - I need understanding from you. Please invest in me.

[@jetterdone7434]

I had the same experience when I was in school

[@kernium]

It sounds way too much like my parents, like the description is spot-on to the point that I felt my heartbeat getting alarmingly faster, that's how spot-on it was. I love my parents and they love me but sometimes when they do that, it angers me to a stratospheric level even though, I never really lashed out at them even a single time in my 18 years of life.

[@naryosh_]

my parents also don't really understand that it's not something I can just do better with and that I am actually mentally ill

[@Simonsiempie]

Same here. I miss them also. But I just do what I like now so stay in flow. Or sleep more. And sport and body work is good to. Take care buddy

[@Elspm]

My experience of ADHD is that yes my ADHD swoops in and saves me at the last minute often. But if I didn't have ADHD I would not need it to do that, I would have been able to work at a reasonable, organised rate. I have no idea if I'd be so interested in so many things if I didn't have ADHD but I almost certainly would have lost a lot less of my shit.

[@Tonisuperfly]

Well said. My experience is that my adhd would swoop in and save me at the last minute too… until it didn’t. I’ve lost that ability in recent years. Currently exploring hormones (perimenopause) and burnout as contributing to “breaking” my adhd “last minute rescue” system.

[@boldvankaalen3896]

When you get older this last minute thing does not work so well anymore.

[@JK-ek5jv]

@@Tonisuperfly omg yes, I’m only just realizing I have adhd and likely asd and am also experiencing perimenopause. That and the fact that I’ve healed so much deep stuff that peeled off my masks before I even know I was using masks to cope with life. Life feels like it’s caving in on me at the moment with all of it. I’m like how did I ever do so much before?!

[@deechonada]

I quite literally am interested in everything. If i didnt lose receipts (lol), I would better be able to see the amount of shit i buy due to interests i have. I picked up rollerblading a month ago because i supervised a school trip to an ice rink a week before and wasn't too bad at it on the trip. So i bought some, got really good at it even learning how to cross over and spin in 3 days without falling once and now i struggle to even put them on and go outside. Dont get me wrong, im still interested in all the things I've learned 5-10% of, but executing and continuing it is where i struggle. My one complete achievement I learned Spanish fully by myself and i think the one thing that helped me achieve that was i put myself in situations where if be worse off if i didn't know it. I couldn't even complete university, failed on the last module in the last year. I'm currently learning simultaneously, how to run a small business, sewing, animation, coding, arabic, Swahili, Portuguese AND my father tongue WHILE having a full time job... I hate how i cant focus on one interest. It feels like im missing out on all the other interests that i have. I feel like my concept of the future isnt the same as someone neurotypical. I can't wait for things i can't foresee. It doesn't make sense to me to not do everything at once. But then i struggle to even get going with any of these things after I've learned a basic to moderate amount. edit: after reading back, I'm going to try and go out on my skates today wish me luck 🤞🏾

[@Elspm]

@@deechonada yeah, I have only found one thing where I lost interest quickly, and that's American football. Which I'm pretty sure is just because I get sick of ad breaks. It's almost always something novel that takes me away from interests, rather than boredom. Totally incidentally, what dialect of arabic? Have a great skate!

[@douwe4254]

Here is my take on it. I've been diagnosed at 24, I've always been functioning fine right up until I had to go to university. I finished my education, but it wasn't easy. I learned one thing in therapy and almost got in a verbal fight with my psychologist: She said (based on her studies and background) that ADHD was a disorder. Which in my language, translated is a disturbance within your personality. I felt a little offended by it, not towards her, but the definition of it. She then explained that ADHD is a disorder -> based on the average person. So I challenged her, I explained her that my entire life I felt like education was sub-par to what I needed. Because of my ADHD I learn different, and schools don't offer theoretic knowledge in a way that I easily consume. But... I'm a knowledge sponge, and quite smart as well. So why was I failing monotonous tasks, where I clearly was excelling in other fields. So I pushed my argument that ADHD only is a disorder, a handicap, when raised in an environment that treats you like you have to be (!) THEIR normal. Imagine... if the roles were reversed. ADHD is the dominant personality trait. "Normies" are a minority. What would change in that society? Schooling, being the first. Second is more control on overstimulation within our lives. A little more "back to basics", less social media, less addictive entertainment products we have 24/7 access to. Would that be so bad? From an evolutional standpoint, ADHD is just a different sub-race of genes within humanity... and 'normies' push it aside as a disorder. Which is only... a disorder, to them. Now I do agree with the fact that having ADHD in modern society isn't great, because it isn't designed for us. Yet... in my country forcing a left-handed child to write with their right hand, is called child abuse. You can't do that. We deem it inhumane, so we accept that 10% of society needs tools designed for left-handed people. But this isn't always possible... so left handed people are always being considered... but the dominant group decides. And that dominant group is now telling us: "your 'disorder' isn't needed and doesn't function well in the world we created. Yet... their brain cannot comprehend how this difference actually works, for each individual. How that "hunter theory" is absolutely observable when you go outdoors and your ADHD individuals all jump up because they notice something way before the others. I've experienced this multiple times as well as a child. I called out there was an animal around our tent. Nobody believed me. I was put to bed, then people start screaming because there was a mother hog with her kids roaming about. A very dangerous situation... nobody was hurt in the end. ADHD individuals who are above average intelligent, knowledgeable and smart? They are masters at connecting dots, and really fast at figuring out new things. My friend (normie) talked to me a whole bunch about ADHD, because he had 3 programmers that were insanely talented but they couldn't get shit done. When my friend became their manager, he switched their job into a innovative design department where these 3 programmers got the freedom to create new tools, methods and modules. Sometimes these idea's would be implemented, sometimes they weren't. Their productivity went through the roof. They could do new things all the time, and not fall into a pit of repitition. A perfect environment for people with ADHD. And NONE of the 'normie' colleagues could function at their level. Psychologist compare to statistics based on the average person. Yet... we don't understand how we are handicapping individuals with ADHD, because they don't have the learning environment they need. Which make it a handicap/disorder on the masses. And forcing people to behave differently than the rest... isn't abuse yet when it comes to ADHD.

[@T.E.Twilight]

Couldn't have said it better myself mate. Also I refuse to believe that there's something about the self one can't control or optimize. I've found the commonality is that people with ADHD no matter how extreme can wield it like a weapon when taught. Medicine never seems to actually accomplish that task, and that's the main source of 'treatment'. I've found that the healthiest, happiest, people who were labeled with disorders initially were ones who in practice got off their medications and took responsibility for their mind which you have more control over than people are comfortable admitting. It takes a lot of strength to do, but it's possible. Medicine should only ever be a temporary solution and only if it's absolutely necessary because we are messing with something that is more intricately designed than we are prepared to handle.

[@Auktioneronline]

This weeks best comment on youtube! From a Swedish 47 year old Guy on my 50th trip to Brazil got diagnos 2021 ADD (know this since I was born) anyway 2023 I will get help so I can be a normal robot 😂 they will give me Ritalin then when this will not work I will get Ylvanse that will make me be a normal robot 😂 if you hear Swedish healthcare is world class I advice you to think one more time 😭🥳🤣

[@pazu8728]

I watched a number of videos and cannot wrap my mind what "average person" the experts are comparing to. Most of them are "descriptive" and not quantifying the degree and feels slippery.

[@echo-hotel]

This is true. I guess your trying to say there is room for improvement? Your ‘normies’ can change. Like terraforming a planet while living on it. You have a disability. Incapable of living in that environment until it changes. It’s not an insult, it’s a fact. I’m bipolar supposedly. I could function well in an environment made for me. But I can’t in this one. So I have a disorder in this environment. And it’s so bad that legally im disabled and can’t get a job. It feels insulting. Because I know I could do well. But not in this world. Not in my lifetime.

[@douwe4254]

@@echo-hotel You are correct about the fact that some disorders aren't cripling people, and improving a world for them, equally improves the world for others as well. When it comes to ADHD, a third of the entire planet has the genetic traits activate it. A third of the planet carry the gene. Yet, a lot less people actually have ADHD. Meaning, there is a genetic marker for it, very similar to people being left-handed. I understand your comparison to being Bipolar, but these are separate and not in the same playing field. I might be 100% wrong on this assumption, and if so, I apologize in advance. Yet... ADHD is much more common than we might have thought originally, yet we treat people who have ADHD. People without it see our issues as issues they have as well. Not in the intensity we have. Not even close. They feel they understand, but don't. And to fix these issues, they themselves say "this works better for me as well". Similar to men learning more by seeing and doing, compared to women (who can absorb books better then men, on average). It's suiting a learning style that benefits all of us better. Which isn't discussed yet in politics. I can think of a world where people with ADHD function better, and regular people improve along with it, without holding anyone back. I can't say the same for Bipolar individuals, because I know too little about it.

[@Mokujin__]

The saddest thing of ADHD is how little people know about it. They can only think a person is stupid if is not able to do such simple tasks. From the moment I know ADHD exists I can finally understand sooo many things about me, and I'm so glad I know it's a disorder and not just me not trying enough. For sure I would have loved not having it but it's way better to know that it's not my fault entirely. But again, people just believe it's an excuse because they don't have it, so it's not the best

[@vixxcelacea2778]

I have friends that don't seem to understand it. The whole "Everyone has x" Yes, but I have it times 11 and it ruins my ability to function. You lose your keys for 30 minutes, retrace your steps and find them. I lose them entirely for hours and now I'm late for work, or I lost them entirely and literally have to go to a key maker so that I can function. Not to mention the countless memorabilia and sentimental things that you misplace or accidentally throw out. It's no wonder I have a bit of a pack rat mentality. I hate the phrase "That's just an excuse." Yes, that is the POINT of an excuse! What they're really saying is that they don't like the reason and they want someone at fault because a thing that is out of the power of everyone makes them feel powerless. Blame is a game of power when you put it on an individual who is assumed to be able to change the situation.

[@nfc598]

I'm so used to being brushed off about my daily struggles with ADHD that I have a hard time reminding myself that this is a very real and serious disorder that some doctors research and take seriously.

[@cameronschyuder9034]

I was struggling to decide whether I probably had ADHD or not because I did not relate to some of the symptoms, but it turns out for a fraction of that category, I did have said symptoms but I have normalized it in my head since this is pretty much what I've been dealing for the majority if not the entirety of my life. It's so normalized that I tend to forget/not attend to certain aspects of the disorder. For instance, I can forget or misplace things and they would cause me an acute distress in the moment, but when I find the item (or if I made peace with the fact that I lost it forever), I will dump that memory away somewhere else because I need to focus on other things. Forgetting what I'm forgetting, symptom-ception. My friends also didn't question any ADHD because aside from how it's usually seen as hyperactivity/impulsivity (whereas I was primarily very inattentive), I did really well in school (general education; I'm struggling much more in college) and *I* brushed things aside with a laugh so they just saw it as a "me" thing (personality feature), not a disorder. I told them I left an orange in my bookbag for months and one of their responses was, "Why am I not surprised?"

[@Vincisomething]

​@Cameron Schyuder i didn't suspect I had adhd until I was about 25 - 26 and didn't get diagnosed until 29 (last year). So I went my entire education with undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and depression thinking (and lowkey still) thinking I just dumb 🫠

[@vixxcelacea2778]

It's literally a disability. Not only that, it is a developmental disability. This isn't some temporary need of a cast or crutch. It is for life. It's rooted in the hardware of a person. This is the HARDEST thing to accept. Not only for a lot of people in society, but people who have ADHD. Because it doesn't always feel like one and it doesn't need a cane. Accept it does, it's just not visible. Anything from non-typical work around tactics, medication, CBT whatever it is IS the cane. The way society demands a person to function is not something someone with ADHD can do. People who are successful in spite of it happened to find ways to do so that work with their limitations/hurdles/conditions. There are a ton of people out there with jobs that if they didn't have those specific areas to work in, they wouldn't function. Lots of youtubers, gamers, creative types have ADHD. They need those jobs because it stimulates their mind. I've known lots of people who put off (myself included) getting even checked out or who suspect they have ADHD and struggle to accept the idea at all. The world really is ableist with out meaning to be and especially to issues and conditions (even physical) that are not visible to anyone looking at them, including when we look in the mirror.

[@MadMetalMacho]

I always had the very simple reasoning that, as ADHD is a disorder that doesn't allow you to filter as well as other people, it automatically makes you more creative. Think about it, you actually think about all the stuff people filter out automatically. It's hard to think and stay INSIDE the box, as that'd require the filtering you lack. Unfortunately this is also such pressure that it gets hard to decide what to do/choose and leads to paralysis. So you gravitate towards the thing you really like and throw your energy in there. Or not, and then you get stuck and eventually depressed. If you have a few interests and high IQ you'll get really knowledgable about these things (throw in a little autism and you're on that side of the spectrum) and if you switch interests every week you'll know a good bit about a lot of things. But productivity... yeah, no. Maybe sometimes you'll do a lot more in a day or week than most people can, but at the end of the year you've probably been way more unproductive than productive (if untreated, at least). Creativity sounds so positive, but most creative people suffer, hard.

[@maxineyang1332]

It really makes you think how much a person had to struggle in order to create something so beautiful 🤔

[@IPH-sd1zv]

this would make sense why music is one of the only things i'm really good at 😂

[@TheDavveponken]

Russel Barkley mentions this as well. It's down to personality - and of course your personality will be shaped from having untreated adhd - but personality doesn't come from a disorder. It comes from multiple variables, as well as how their surroundings and themselves react to their symptoms of adhd.

[@ZionSairin]

I spent 14 hours nonstop on one drawing that I did from start to finish without references and it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever done. It has gained me nothing.

[@mistyculous9644]

​@@ZionSairin You must take what you did further to get more than "nothing." Art EDU gives the wrong impression that being an artist with their work sold by a gallery is the only way to succeed as an artist. As a gallery artist, this piece would represent a collection of perhaps twenty pieces similar to it. If you have that many, then you can photograph them and go to a gallery and the gallery will sell them all to you and ask for more - especially recently large non-representational abstract artwork is in demand. The inspired creation of the art itself is only perhaps 25% of the art "business." (As is being an awesome composer is only 20% of the success of being a musician - who have an even harder time succeeding than artists!) One of the cool things about being ADHD multi-talented is you can shape your raw talents to amplify your preferred activities within your own business design. Some of these "business designs" of how to make a living off of what you make are codified - like a franchise. But perhaps the one you prefer isn't, so you need to design it yourself. You must strategically get a benefit from your art, which will be just as creative as the art itself. For instance, someone I know loves the subject of animals - She house-sits and her house-sitters pay her not only for house-sitting but also they buy a portrait of all their pets that she paints for them - she gets a paid place to live AND paid for her art! A drawing can be the first part of many forms. Now that you have this drawing, you can sell it to someone else as a plan for a larger work. Consider it the awesome plan for a much larger work - expand it and make it into a 3D sculpture, a mural on a building, etc. This way the drawing becomes a sales presentation for you to get a huge bunch of $$ upfront, half on completion. It could become a personalized greeting card, a "big business card" that makes you memorable to others. Anyway - now that you've made something you know is valuable - run with it!

[@johnmimbs5289]

Practicing meditation was hands down the best thing I could have ever done for myself having ADHD. I would encourage anyone with ADHD to practice meditation and understand it will be extremely difficult but hugely rewarding.

[@Lakshyam9]

What kind of meditation do you do ?? Any resources that you could share please ??

[@devopshelper]

​@@Lakshyam9+ andrew huberman's work on both ADHD and meditation

[@yeahboi686]

Coming back on this comment, what meditation technique helped you the most?

[@johnmimbs5289]

@@yeahboi686 silencing the mind, and being of singular focus.

[@rohamcsigusz]

​@@yeahboi686dr k talked about this in a dedicated video. The eastern original meditation apparently works great for adhd brains.

[@steceymorgan814]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@matchamixing]

A student I was working with has ADHD like me and I told him that despite having difficulty focussing and staying on top of deadlines, he doesn't lack motivation. He agreed and said that he has a lot of motivation to do other stuff (e.g.: learning Linux, video games, etc.) so I told him that I can help him master "redirecting his lightning". However, it's difficult to do it alone and I learned that when i was in high school

[@pizzamnchr]

Any tips for how one can “redirect their lightning?”

[@matchamixing]

@@pizzamnchr -Finding an accountability partner like a friend, parent or classmate can help. Writing down when you're most focussed can help you create the better studying conditions (i.e.: where you're studying, what time, diet, recent exercise, etc.). Plenty of ideas but those are two big ones that have helped me

[@uber1ns4n1ty8]

@@pizzamnchr Ask uncle Iroh. He seems to know a lot about it.

[@levihughes9180]

@@uber1ns4n1ty8 this made my day

[@ErlingGrey]

@@pizzamnchr what’s the chances of appa asking this question 😯

[@DoctorAzmain]

Really appreciate the balanced overview Dr K. The fact that ADHD results from very real changes in the brain (differences in the prefrontal cortex etc) means that those with ADHD are quite literally wired differently. It's not easy to focus and maintain productivity, just normal boring everyday things are so much harder and takes much more effort to overcome. As you say, it's a spectrum, but still people across the spectrum struggle with it and everyone deserves help to achieve the best that they possibly can!

[@Kavriel]

I don't know if they "deserve" help. I don't think thinking we deserve stuff is good for us.

[@Skarry]

Myself and two children have a prefrontal cortex cocktail of Adhd, Tourette, and OCD. It's really hard. Medication is really hard to balance as well.

[@metroid031993]

@@Kavriel maybe the better word is need or require

[@kernium]

@@Skarry Oof... Life really shot you in the head with the genetic russian roulette... I hope you're okay.

[@naryosh_]

I'm trying to get the proper medication for it but my psychiatrist keeps prescribing me medications that don't do anything and I don't know what I have to say or where I have to go to get an actual stimulant medication

[@DRAG0NEERS]

Very well stated. I was diagnosed as an adult in my early 30s. At first, there was a bit of a grieving/existential crisis: "How did everyone miss this my whole life? What could I have accomplished by now if I was diagnosed earlier? Who am I now that my entire personality turns out to be just a collection of ADHD symptoms?". And I found forums and KZbin videos that's validated my reaction as being common and logical, but also gave me a lot understanding and insight into the condition. And I began to accept things as they were: I hadn't changed, these symptoms weren't new, I just finally understood what they were and what to do about it. The best advice I heard was "Learn to make your brain work for you, not against you". And the same goes for your life. ADHD is only a detriment for me if I put myself in a position to fail: a boring office job, a partner who demands my attention constantly and has no patience for my occassional symptoms, etc. But once I understood that the condition is just simply me being wired differently than most of the population, I began to create my own path differently than most of the population and started building a life around my strengths, abilities, and needs. I built my own company doing something I love, so hyper-focus is being productive where I need to be productive. I have a family so my need for mental stimulation and connection makes me a loving, attentive father. The combination of therapy (CBT mostly) and stimulant medication helped me utilize the strengths of the condition and mitigate the negatives as much as possible. And 5 years later since the diagnosis, I don't view it as a disorder for myself at all. I view it as simply the way my mind is wired and part of my personality, with strengths and weaknesses, just like anyone else.

[@youropiniondoesnotmatter]

This is a great read, thank you for sharing Ryan! Your family is lucky to have you as their father figure.

[@balajireddy7811]

Does ur children have adhd

[@mariesook9141]

Very well put & a great testimony.

[@hasamahikaru]

REAL, this is exactly me

[@JimmieHammel]

On the concept of perseveration: When I am forced to stop a task my brain is fixated on, my consciousness feels different. It feels like being half asleep, foggy and thick. I can physically feel the pieces of my brain that are refusing to engage with the new external task. The idiom about "not firing on all cylinders" is a pretty good description. It's like my real attention has split off and is doing it's own thing outside my awareness of it, while my body and my one single remaining "cylinder" are trying to push through the new task against some kind of thick mental resistance. I even feel like my body is moving slower than normal, though that might be just my imagination.

[@lenjack7700]

are you on medication? I have the same feeling, but dopamine reuptake inhibitors can basically artificially generate that status for like an hour. Then i can feel the old state of mind slowly creeping back. Like for me it feels like my conscousness is beeing compressed and my thoughts become like wrapped in fog. Then when im hyperfixated its suddenly all clear and my mind feels expanded

[@noeliaurquizo4620]

S A M E

[@kenobiwanobi889]

After watching this and some other of your videos on ADHD, I think I will finally get tested for it. I was the "gifted kid" in elementary school, but my performance dropped hard, and I mean HARD, from best-of-class in 5th grade to completely failing 8th grade. I got bullied and increasingly depressed, so my mom took me to a child psychologist for a while. The psychologist took the first two appointments to figure out what exactly was wrong with me, and then wanted to have one conversation with my mother present. She then asked if perhaps one of the reasons I was in such a bad spot was that I was feeling under pressure because of my "Gifted Kid" status and my mothers expectations. She hit the nail on the head. My mother was deeply offended, of course, and I never went there again. So no treatment, not even for the depression that was actually diagnosed. A mediocre graduation, almost an entire year of unemployment and depression later, I currently have a part-time-job I enjoy, but I still struggle with basic shit like finding the energy to get up on free days, clean my room or even eat, and I am scared of never getting my drivers license because I have built up such a complex around it. Also, no stable career in sight. My mother still maintains that I just "don´t care" and that I could´ve easily done everything I failed at. We have regular episodes of her yelling at me for not looking for an apprenticeship. When I told her that I believe I might have ADHD, she said "Sure, get tested for it", like its some minor inconvenience, completely ignoring that she should´ve had me tested for it ten years ago. Or that she just ignored the diagnosis for depression because she disliked the psychologist. Better just tell me I´m being lazy. I know it sounds extreme, but I feel like my life will only improve once I move out and leave all of it behind me. I don´t think I will ever be able to fully forgive my parents for blaming all my failures on me for "Just letting things carry on", when it´s THEM who´ve done it all the time.

[@TheShizzlemop]

you need to talk with your mother about how she wronged you and how that makes you feel. you dont need to forgive her, dont blame her just have a conversation about how that's something that happened and how it impacted you. accept that it happened and that there's nothing you can do since it already happened, but also if you're able to get her to acknowledge it i think that would help you a lot. work on improving yourself right now for the future, get evaluated for these things and get treatment for what you can. the sooner you improve yourself the sooner you can be independent and move out.

[@floppavevo5920]

The "gifted kid" bs schools pushed did nothing but harm. It made non "gifted" kids feel bad, and it made "gifted" kids feel like dumbasses when we eventually fell off, which in my experiences all of us did have a drop in grades during middle school.

[@EBgCampos]

I got tested and diagnosed at 29, was a "gifted student" too, even in university. Never really studied that much and passed in all courses at engineering. Medication hasn't changed my life yet, but it did help a ton regulating my emotions. I still have motivation problems that affect me severely. Understanding and learning how you work will take a long time, but it will help you live better and forgive your flaws.

[@omkarvaidya25]

yeah no we all have shit parents, im on ur side. my mom is literally so irrational and close mindedthat i cant go thru a day without her yelling to make up forr her issues. moving out will make things better edit: i was a gifted student as well if that helps (im still higher iq than averrage but my studies are suffering coz adhd)

[@jbouchard1944]

I understand your situation. I was a gifted kid and my brother had a very pronounced and visible case of Tourette's. Our family was often strapped for resources so he received much of the bandwidth when it came to parental concern/attention. I was the gifted child, destined to be a doctor or professor, or great scientist. In the eyes of my parents and teachers I didn't need help or guidance. I was going to get there by expectations and potential alone. The signs of ADHD were there, I had excellent grades but could only do things last minute when I could hyperfocus the night before a large test or deadline. My parents told me that I wasn't meeting my potential, and that my laziness would be my downfall. How could I complain about focusing on homework when I could be on my gameboy all day? I didn't begin falling off until 3rd year University when my terrible study habits were no longer sufficient to get excellent grades. I passed my classes after semester 1 with 60-70, but I had never been a less than 85 child (due to a lot of pressure from my mom and natural ability). Unfortunately that send me spiralling, I hated myself for failing to meet my potential and my grades tanked in the next semester where I failed my first class. I barely managed to keep my GPA high enough to pass my course and graduate. I went into Uni top of class, and graduated near the middle/bottom. A decade later, after a ton of self loathing, and a life filled with distraction and avoidance behaviour I sought out a ADHD diagnosis after one of my employees had her son diagnosed. I was floored at what she told me, she described me as a child, when speaking about her newly diagnosed son. I'm sorry your mother is in denial of what you have. Ignoring a diagnosis of depression due to ego is disgusting behaviour for a parent. I wish you luck with seeking a diagnosis and treatment. I now have been on 3 medications, they do not change your life, but for me it feels as though a weighted vest has been taken off, a burden on my soul has been lifted. It has helped me improve in some ways, but it won't be a cure all. I suggest trying other mental health techniques as well. My best results have been with medication, self reflection, and eventually meditation (though I am terrible at it).

[@Khora]

I found that my adhd got considerably better after resolving some of my internal conflits. It's biological, yes, but in my case the psychological made it 3~5 times worse. I still sometimes leave my books on the sink, have trouble starting things, space out or have a peculiar focus style, but nothing is absurd anymore. I'm writing this because some people may feel like they got sentenced to failure because of ADHD. Maybe dealing with your maladaptations, traumas and anxieties (I did through 3 years of psychoanalysis) is enough.

[@Limemill]

Are you taking any drugs too?

[@wplants9793]

Well said! I’ve also made more peace with my ADHD and it has taken the stress off. I worked a lot with healing my trauma (which is a lot, I had 8/10 ACES) in the past 6-4 years. It’s been hard but worth it. However, perhaps it’s easier for me than other’s since I’m not as “bad” in terms of ADHD as other people.

[@vazzaroth]

A million times this. ADHD meds left me with a flying kick in the chin when they stopped and I realized, after months of working through my moodiness w/ my wife, that I am probably, actually, having my OTHER, non ADHD issues flair up when that happens. I know that ADHD meds activate your stress/survival instincts, but what I didn't realize is that I was effectively burnt out from a life of feeling deep, deep shame and rejection (Possibly amplified by RSD) that I had gotten REALLY good at ignoring. Plus, it doesn't help when you can take a pill, and start accomplishing and making progress on your goals that you just recently decided to have after a lifetime of just kinda existing... then have that 'jet fuel' slowly sputter out and die every afternoon. Really effective recipe for sudden onset imposter syndrome, where it felt like all I had EVER done in life was A) Just since I Started pills and B) 100% due to the pills. And throw in a little C) The comedown effect makes you jittery, feel weird, and all the other post-stress effects on the nervous system at the same time. I'm off chemical ADHD treatment, but I have a feeling I may be able to navigate between the two states much better as I'm making real noticeable progress with my off-pills shame, mood, and dysregulation.

[@ZeroStriker165]

SAME, that's exactly how I've felt until I finally resolved some internal conflicts that I've had over the last year. My adhd has gotten significantly easier to handle and I can finally start working with it instead of against it to get stuff done.

[@snikrepak]

@@vazzaroth some people handle it better or worse than others, I stopped taking mine at 18, I opened my eyes and I'm in a uniform, holding a rifle, yelling commands in a launguage I never thought I would know. Now I just feel there isn't enought time in the day to get everything done, between kids, work and wife.. we never get a break.

[@humancapitalist]

I'm a 24 y/o woman and I recently got an adhd diagnosis after years of being medicated for depression and anxiety. None of the meds ever worked they just ruined my sleep, making me sleep too much or not at all. My mental situation and life challenges never changed either. I never had any energy to do anything, unless there was a massive consequence involved if I didn't or a reward I really wanted. The doctors were beginning to try tell me I was bipolar lol. I am not bipolar. I don't get manic. Found a new psychiatrist told them what was going on and started new meds. Immediately my mood changed, my thinking changed, and I became efficient as hell. I can actually get normal ppl things done like basic chores, or texting ppl back, or completing tasks on target with a sound plan. lol I used to get home from work and just sit and stare at the wall for hours. Totally had stuff to do, didn't give a shit my body wasn't moving. @HealthyGamerGG do you ever speak about adhd and its appearance in women? my experience is that my adhd is way more internal than external, but the behavioral symptoms seem to be somewhat the same.

[@lenjack7700]

what meds did you get that worked? My entire life i basically just got prescriptions for stimulants that benefitted me barely but messed my brain and body up

[@humancapitalist]

They put me on SSRIs, benzos, mood stabilizers, and then anti psychotics, I finally got to try a stimulant (adderall) once I got the adhd diagnosis and it's worked really well for me. I do a 20mg XR dose once a day in the morning when I wake up. I won't lie battling sleep is still my biggest issue, but as long as I take the stimulant early enough, and manage a good sleep routine I tend to be okay. My mom ended up with an adhd diagnosis, after I got mine (go figure lol) but she was prescribed Wellbutrin (which is a mood stabilizer). I've been through at least 40 medications and been in and out of therapy since 14. So It's been a long journey, and you definitely have to work on yourself hard and figure out what works best for you. Medication isn't going to solve everything, the biggest thing has been fixing my trauma and self esteem through therapy, being vigilant about diet, exercise and sleep, as well as managing daily routines that works for me. Good luck! @@lenjack7700

[@oogabooga5510]

how do you speak up? currently taking anti-anxiety meds but i noticed ive gotten much more unmotivated, and ive been sleeping more. I feel horrible because i have all my final projects due this week and i haven’t started/finished most of them 😭 no one takes me seriously and it feels super unfair. how do you handle this? :(

[@user-fv3eg3ig8p]

ADHD: IN THE COMMENTS INSTEAD OF LISTENING 😂😂

[@chaddad4046]

This was the most intellectual meme review of all time.

[@blueso5351]

lmaooo

[@enzocompanbadillo5365]

Then you should probably check the MemeAnalysis channel. Wont regret it.

[@flawlix]

I need to watch Dr. Barkley’s video. I knew a little about his work, but that clip about adult ADHD and hyperfocus put a pin on a serious issue I have. I cannot stop once I’m hyperfocused. That 15 minute research project for a brief turns into a 2 hour rabbit hole of trying to understand all the nuances even though they aren’t relevant to what I’m working on. Cleaning my bathroom turns into a days’ long project of scrubbing it from floor to ceiling and reorganizing everything-and I can’t think about anything else until it’s done. Hyperfocus isn’t a super power. It’s a curse.

[@andrewstambaugh8030]

But those things are generally only negative because we have created *a strict and rigid life and cultural expectation.* We have created a society unable in some manner to handle that their are different types of people and demands they all be the same easy to know thing to plug in to the system and fit it's same unyielding schedule that is actually broken for most people. If, say, you were a retired person with a self-sustaining house and garden, and you were turning to different enjoyable artistic pursuits, then enjoying to dive into something further would not be perceived as negative but as enjoyable pursuit of liberty. Saying, "I enjoyed cleaning the house so much, I turned focus on cleaning the shed too," is not a bad thing, unless it comes at the expense of some other duty or obligation that ought to have been attended to. I agree with others who have differentiated the focus-type spectrum from the unhealthy/immature versions of those. For instance, one may be naturally gifted at attracting the attentions of others. Independent of _being good at attracting people,_ the person could also have healthy or unhealthiness stemming from this. They could be severely insecure, always needing to be the center of attention and always fearing losing it. They could be nefarious in their use, manipulating people to social attention and attraction to take from them in some way. Or they could be healthy, enjoying that they are good at that, but not _needing_ the attention to feel good, and also using their skillful manipulation of people's interaction for the benefit of all. Leaders actually need people to follow, or all their bold aggressive drive amounts to little more than self-aspiration. _If everyone_ was focused on boldly and aggressively pushing their agenda like most natural leaders do , then we would see constant competition and butting of heads. If all the people were inclined as supporters, nothing would get done. It would be a never ending circle of "what do you want to do?" "whatever you do. What do you want to do?" "whatever you want us to do".... We need both. The same is true for type of focus. To anyone with a little knowledge of history, were Tesla, Edison, or Einstein even remotely considered normal or balanced people? Yet, their very imbalance (to some real degree, inability to be happy doing things the normal_ized_ way) is what gave them the ability to improve society so much. If our society cuts those people out or forces a structure that has no room or tolerance of them, then *we lose their benefit to society and condemn them to lives of dissatisfaction,* as they are forced to work outside their competence and will never fit in as 'normal'.* *As with a person, it is not strength but disability to be unable to handle different situations and deal with reality.* So it is not the _strength_ of our society to be so rigid and inflexible that it cannot handle the truth of different types of people, with different giftings and limitations. Our schools tell boys to sit down, be still, and quite - like nice young girls do so well. Our schools use metrics that tell one student you are exceptional and another a failure, because it's easier for the system than acknowledging that different people are better at different things and instead focusing a finding and enhancing their individual capabilities. *This is not strength of our society, it is an immature and selfish stubborn denial of reality and an attempt to deal with that imbalance with reality by forcing people into fit a one-size-fits-none sheep mold.* (PS. I offer a little background for my criticisms against schools. I excelled in school, with easy A's, frequently acing or near acing tests, while my younger brother struggled in the same classes. They made him feel stupid, because he wasn't gifted at math. They then tightened their focus on what he was bad at. Fast forward to adulthood and post college careers. Burn their stupid tests to ash! He excels at knowing and managing people. By most objective standards, he is more successful than I am - in complete contradiction to anything school would indicated.)

[@killhimnotme9129]

Same lose track of time and stay awake till 4 am

[@jennh2096]

That is exactly what I do. I NEED to know all the ins and outs of something, and I can't stop until I'm basically forced to. I can't just skim the top and move on when I get hit with the hyper focus. It is incredibly problematic in life and work. I've learned a lot of things, but it's mostly useless knowledge that isn't going to help me out in life.

[@s.b200]

ADHD and autism often coincide and it's SO important to catch if you have both to help adapt your life and understand your brain. Up to 20-50% of people with ADHD also have autism. Many symptoms overlap between them, like hyperfocusing and executive functioning issues (for example being highly motivation-driven). High intelligence can compensate for ADHD and autism-related symptoms and therefore you may be diagnosed first later in life. Women are also diagnosed later in life because of a high ability to mask/hide their traits.

[@always12lovemusic]

I LOVE SO MUCH the fact that he is open to criticism. And not only is open to it, points out how someone criticised something he did, he reflected on that and will make/has made changes. We're so rigid these days and stuck in our ways and take constructive criticism as an announcement of war! I'm new to this channel but I really respect the way you conduct yourself and wish more were like you. Thank you for this and for the great content!

[@joelman1989]

I spent 15 hours across a weekend, lost sleep, showed up to work late, for a 30 slide presentation that didn’t require a PowerPoint and that was supposed to be a 5 minute discussion about a topic I took 1 hour to research. The entire time, I was aware that this wasn’t necessary and harmful. This is why hyper focus is not usually an advantage. It’s almost always overkill. And it disrupts our ability to live a balanced life. There for sure have been advantages. It might depend on the severity of your adhd. I am great at divergent thinking. But due to adhd, I’m never really able to take that creativity and create actionable tasks to accomplish the ideas my brain comes up with. Therapy, medication, and sleep treatment are helping though. And I’m in a much better place today than I was 4 months ago.

[@bobobsen]

This is unusual. Most people with ADHD would do this in 5 minutes instead.

[@joelman1989]

@@bobobsen I wouldn’t say it’s unusual. Perfectionism and ADHD go hand in hand. Also, because of past mistakes and frequent correct, many people with adhd overcompensate and mask their symptoms through perfectionism and overthinking. Throw in hyperfocus and you have a recipe for obsessive hyperfixations that deregulate your life.

[@AnymMusic]

it can indeed differ per person and whether or not the hyper focus is on smth that helps you achieve a goal you wanted to achieve

[@kattodoggo3868]

@@AnymMusic it would be an advantage if you had control over it

[@cameronschyuder9034]

@@kattodoggo3868 Or if it coincidentally helped you with something you wanted to achieve. An analogy: you don't necessarily need control over the lottery to win, but chances are you shouldn't rely on the lottery to pay your bills

[@noushs8004]

I found that making a to do list in my alarm app gives me that “pressure” to complete tasks. Also, breaking down tasks into tiny steps gives me the self esteem and motivation to finish the rest of my to-do list.

[@gideonswrld3]

I do this as well, helped me get through my finals as a senior

[@ladykemma3]

Yes, chunking the tasks, and crossing completed tasks is satisfying and rewarding. Dopamine?

[@scoobi089]

May I ask what alarm app you use? This may be helpful for my teen. Thanks.

[@kitcat2449]

Yep! My to-do-app also gives this nice DING sound when I get something done lol

[@sugarwoofle6067]

One thing I've noticed about my hyperfocus (I don't know if anyone else experiences this) but when I'm super focused I can't hear anyone outside of what I'm focused on. Someone has to do something or say my name really loud in order for my brain to snap out of it. It's frustrating for other people but they forget how frustrating it is for us.

[@outsidethewall8488]

Two things can be true at once. Personally, my ADHD is both a gift and a curse. Hyperfocus has gotten me a lot, but it has also interfered with a lot. While I don't like the take that adhd is and Advantage Actually (TM) because it invalidates the struggles of so many of us, I also find a lot of ADHD communities are so intensely reactive to any possible suggestion that there might be upsides to adhd that they end up invalidating the very real experiences a lot of us have of either finding silver linings in our adhd clouds, or trying to focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses as a coping mechanism. It's hard to draw the line between self acceptance and doomerism, and personally, the only way I can do that is through acceptance of the duality of all things, including my adhd.

[@briannakeep]

I have a lot of adhd symptoms but am not diagnosed, I get called lazy all the time by my dad because I'm able to do art for days at a time without taking breaks. If I have to do something like the dishes it feels like so much cause doing the dishes turns into organizing the pots and pans, then wiping down the table, then taking out the trash, the feeding and watering my dogs, then organizing the cupboard next to my dogs bowls. I do one chore and it turns in 20 chores. But then I also end up spending days in my bed watching a show without doing anything else. I'm on the phone with my boyfriend 24/7 cause he brings me comfort and makes me feel safe. With him I feel like I'm able to do things and focus on things I couldn't before cause he motivates me. But when I'm alone my brain jumps a million different ways to where I could go from thinking about the psychology of Encanto. To wondering if I could reach a certain brick outside the building while trying to get up in the most dangerous ways possible. From almost crawling out my 2nd story window, to stacking 5 chair on one another to get it. And the only thing I'll be thinking about is "I need to reach the brick." And won't stop till I do it. I always feel like somethings wrong with my brain because of this and I think of things in way no one else does. Working up tasks at work to knock down pillars of anxiety, for example. Everyone else sees it qs unnecessary tasks until I have a panic attack when I don't do them.

[@TheGlowingOnee]

So you depend on your boyfriend to make you feel better, etc. Don’t you think that unhealthy in the long run? What if he leaves you one day or it doesn’t workout, would you be able to handle it mentally?

[@mistyculous9644]

yeah - sweet that your boyfriend can do this for you - but perhaps extend that connection to help you find other means to settle yourself that's not necessarily connected to what another person can (or cannot) do for you. An activity such as exercise or something you can do all by yourself - but connect it up with doing the activity with your boyfriend as a tryout.

[@Dice-Z]

@@TheGlowingOnee You're not entirely wrong. It's not necessarily unhealthy, but it could still cost them a lot. People break up more often than not these days, and break ups tend to be devastating for people with ADHD, especially if it's someone they are close to who can help coping with ADHD. The reaction can be bad enough to look like Borderline Personality Disorder. But in my experience it's also tremendously hard for people with ADHD to make connections, and they need those connections. They have little choice but to rely on other people for motivation, validation and such, if no other option to manage ADHD is available. Perhaps it's just me, but i have a sneaking suspicion that those with ADHD may be clingy, especially emotionally.

[@melinhead3766]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 27. For me it has been nothing close to a super power lol it had made my life pretty difficult. I’m glad not everyone has the same experience! Lol

[@Sura.bbyyyy]

Same

[@ANNEMARGARET0319]

Same! Diagnosed last year at age 56, It is definitely not a super power for me. I’m horrible at multitasking…and in my office job, I am struggling. It’s all about metrics… And I try to work as fast as I can, (very metrics based) must hit certain production goals ( and try as I might, I can’t work fast enough) I’m not one of the ADHD types that is able to multitask and work fast 🥺) I’m actually thorough and believe in quality over quantity…. But I had to throw that out the window! Anyway, the whole reason for medication was because of my job… nothing really helps that much but people notice I sit at my desk. I don’t talk to anyone and I just work all day and it’s still not fast enough🥺 I feel like there has to be something else wrong with me! It was only a few years ago that I suspected I had ADHD… because life seemed to get more difficult …..The title of this video drew me in… I want to know why life is so hard! Also, I never had depression, anxiety, or any of the other mental conditions until my ADHD started really causing issues with work, and it’s also now affecting my executive functioning at home…. I literally put all of my energy into my work and by the end of the day I shut down… 😢 Sorry, I’m on a rant… could go on an on… today was a particularly bad day! Really don’t make much money for somebody my age… But what am I gonna do change careers and make 30,000 a year, go back to school? I have 10 more years to work before retirement (age 67) Ughhh

[@HenriqueErzinger]

I'll say this: I'm 100% certain my ADHD is the biggest factor responsible for my success in my career. But it's also a reason I don't have much success in most other things. It's certainly a net negative, but also something that helps me daily.

[@katherineblakely7142]

Absolutely!

[@bhavnaganiga6272]

What's the career path uve taken?

[@jasonmiller1076]

This man deserves every single subscriber he has. The value he provides is astonishing, and its free.

[@springdeerling7866]

Been almost a year since my diagnosis. I'm so upset I didn't get diagnosed when I was younger and got help and made coping techniques. It's hard trying to explain to people that it's not just "lol pay attention". Looking back on my life it's so obvious I had it. I remember a school counselor saying something to my mom, asking if I had ADHD cause I seemed p bad. I got put on meds for like 2 weeks before my mom took me off them and stopped taking me to the psychiatrist

[@micro2cool]

So close to getting the treatment you needed, I'm sorry to hear that. I never knew I had ADHD as a kid and wish I did too.

[@daaki0]

Same experience with me, diagnosed at 22 and felt extremely frustrated at the neglect of very obvious symptoms growing up by everyone around me- whatever the reasons for that may be. Caused a lot of unnecessary suffering but I guess that's the karma of the past, my focus is on utilising this newfound knowledge to mitigate the misery in my life and actually accomplish something I'm proud of. I'm aware there are countless people diagnosed even later in life than me as well.

[@springdeerling7866]

@@daaki0 yeah, I didn't get diagnosed till 23

[@aperture0]

@@springdeerling7866 What were your symptoms?

[@aperture0]

If you don't mind sharing

[@nogsteedsjoost6904]

Amazing to see a streamer that can handle criticism and use it to make better content.

[@kitcat2449]

Hyperfocus can be a super power. You just absorb the information so quickly. Down side is that you forget to eat, pee, take breaks, sleep...

[@justanswer55]

I'm having inattentive type of ADHD and never been even hyperfocused without meds. Just tired almost all the time except when working out. I can't even enjoy video games or get-togethers without stimulants, it's not so necessary for me but it tells how ''shut down'' my brain is normally.

[@Falc0nFight3r]

I honestly don't mind what ADHD is classified as, whether it be a disorder, or neuro-diverse. I just know that I got it, and it pisses me off when I can't focus on things that I need to focus on, but I know I can spend 36 hours (not even joking) on Minecraft, to this day.

[@Akiraly14]

That time on Minecraft isn't focus though, its escapism.

[@Falc0nFight3r]

@@Akiraly14 I'm making a joke tho-

[@Simply_Sonder]

@@Falc0nFight3r what kind of ironic sarcasm as you on?

[@philipschaub6189]

@@Falc0nFight3r "I know I can spend 36 hours (not even joking) on Minecraft, to this day." and then a claim that you were making a joke. To Joke? Or NOT to joke? Teasing jabs aside, I can totally relate to not being able to focus on things I need to, but I can waste away my focus on the things that interest me. The absolute worst is when you can't even focus on the things you do care about. There would be times where I'd want to be playing my game, but I'm stuck in my head and can't even focus on said game. That is what I'd call "Focus Hell". I'd call it "Focus Prison" in the milder forms.

[@oldladytrexarms]

@@Akiraly14 What's your point? My escapism in a game keeps my mind from freaking out over both my mental and physical disabilities. I have EDS and have nerve damage and lots of issues that 15+ surgeries never fixed. I'm on a cocktail of drugs that only kinda help. Moving practically breaks me. I'd rather escape into my games than try to live and keep falling apart.

[@BeaWilson]

"Hyper focus" and "hyper fixation" dose bot discriminate between what it can focus on. Example: I can focus on my art project for hours. And thats nice for me. BUT I can also hyper focus on pain emotions and intrusive thoughts. Amplifieing them buy 10 fold. Not to mention that yes. I dont do the things im ment to cus i cant move my attention. SAME STUFF GOES FOR THE HYPERACTIVE MIND. i can think like 15 bajillion things at once. Which is great when I'm trying to come up with creative ideas but it's terrible when I'm thinking of bad things or ruminating. Oooh boy dose it get dark real quick.

[@look3248]

yup!! For me it feels powerful when I'm focusing on work, art, sports, or whatever I wanting to do. But then feels completely paralyzing when I'm trying to be productive and I cant stop ruminating or self analyzing. I sometimes get stuck a loop of noticing a distracting thought/feeling & then hyper analyzing that thought/feeling, which just makes it worse. :(

[@TheWeen344]

I'm so glad I watched this video, so many people in the comments with similar experiences makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you for commenting :)

[@christineg8151]

Heh. I had a conversation with my therapist the other day, discussing my anxiety, and I mentioned that my brain is like a herding dog. If I don't give my brain something to do, it will *find* something to do on its own, and usually that means anxious ruminating. I'm much less likely to have anxiety issues if I have some sort of mental puzzle to work through in the background.

[@mistyculous9644]

Useful to me was that, factually, it takes a full 90 seconds to switch emotional states. So I made a list of positive things that took me more than 90 seconds to read out loud. Now when my mind gets going on a negative direction that I realize is completely unnecessary - I get out this list (that I posted on my fridge so I won't lose it) and read it aloud. Works every time!!! So much that I continue to collect stupid positive things to add to the list. Not so sure why negative things I consider so "important" and worthy to go over and over and over....and positive stuff is considered "trivial" so that it's skipped over lightly and almost dismissed. This strategy of the "positive collection" has been a hugely viable solution for me.

[@yourbroskijack]

My advice for strong BAD emotions is to MEDITATE broski I love you

[@baileymoore5444]

You’re totally right about how some patients or people really do develop the skills to help their ADD/ADHD especially when undiagnosed at a young age. This definitely happened to me. my grades were like subpar in second and third grade with reading and math, I suspect I have mild dyslexia as well, the point of what I’m saying is, I noticed as a child that I wasn’t doing as well as others and maybe it’s because I had older siblings I’m not really sure, but I did develop some techniques to keep me on track throughout my middle school and high school years. I never started treatment or got diagnosed until I was an adult. It all made sense though. I knew I wasn’t dumb but I felt dumb. I just didn’t know how to organize my thoughts or my words to articulate things correctly. I was always thinking about 20 things at once, and I tend to also have the more abstract thoughts versus my friends. I now work in medicine as a physician assistant. Mental health and Dermatology seem to be my top two favorites; when it comes to those, I really do hyper fixate on the subjects. But when it comes to pulmonology, it’s like you couldn’t get me to even read an article about it…..to me that’s like washing the dishes…. It’ll never get it done🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@zerozeroone001]

"I knew I wasn’t dumb but I felt dumb." This one hits hard. Now that you say it, I am finally recognizing it.

[@kathyisopod4705]

I sometimes hyperfocus on something that seems constructive - but in a way that actually isn't helpful. And then when people express sentiments like "hyperfocus is a gift" as a comment on what I did, I'll just feel ashamed or diminished, but struggle to explain why. For example: I've gotten stuck on work tasks, where the end result is a clear & readable product that looks well made. But that's because I spent an entire day hyperfocusing on that readability instead of - I don't know - finishing the actual content that needed to go into the graph. Externally it might look like I got lots of things done. But internally I know that I actually wanted to use my time differently, but couldn't. This can give even your accomplishments a sour aftertaste.

[@quinnmrowka9493]

The more I read stories of others' ADHD ridden experiences, the more it makes me question whether I should seek a diagnosis. I was always the gifted kid in school, all the way up to starting college I had never really put any effort into school, yet still managed to never get anything lower than an 85. When I was at home, it was hard to catch me not playing some sort of video games. The times I wasn't gaming, I would become suuuper into a new hobby, like skateboarding for example. It would be all that I'd think about and want to do for a few days, maybe a couple weeks tops, but just as quickly as I became interested in it, I would drop it completely. Only thing that I never stopped at was video games of course. There were many days I'd wake up early to play on my Xbox for an hour or 2 before I had to go to school, then would swiftly return after I had returned home and would only stop to eat dinner when my parents called for me. I'm now 20 years old and still continue to game for unhealthy amounts at a time, leaving me little time for anything else, like eating, sleeping, socializing, etc. I have very recently tried to start cooking more, but have always gotten myself worked up and stressed out at the thought of going and buying all the groceries, prepping everything, making sure I cook my meat properly, as well as feel a sort of shamefulness for not having learned such a basic and essential life skill at this point in my life. I tried my first year at college a year or so ago, but dropped it shortly after everything became online learning as it became impossible for me to focus on anything school related when i could just as easily boot up RuneScape or something to game on. Not really sure how much of this, if any, can be linked to ADHD or something of the sort, but it feels nice to have atleast typed this all out and gotten it out somewhere.

[@idkk00]

i’m very similar, but my perfect gifted grades stopped at grade 6 (i’m in year 1 uni, finessing my way through). i’ve never been able to focus on academics since even though i am sure and confident im smarter then most. it feels like id rather do anything else, but bad grades feels shitty. im gifted in extreme realism art but cant use my talent because i cant sit down for periods of time. i cant do things i truly in my heart want to do. it sucks.

[@misspatvandriverlady7555]

Sounds like you could have a thing there, yeah. There’s an 18 question screen for ADHD in adults online; the first 6 questions are the most important, “often” or “very often” answers to 3 or 4 of those are highly suggestive of ADHD.

[@noel-ts3jr]

The only "advantage" ADHD ever gave me was my ability to find my way through the mess I had ostensibly created for myself. As a result, I stress less over failure because it was always guaranteed to me in the past, but that was no way of living. I have what all my doctors agree is very severe ADHD, and I'd rather have my more regulated, medicated current self than the ball of panic that I used to be.

[@bakerfritz4681]

Abso-f*cking*lutely. It’s like I’m the firefighter AND the toddler with the box of matches, so I’m just running around all the time putting out the fires I started. Self-diagnosis was a revelation, professional diagnosis was a relief, and stimulant medication a lifesaver.

[@lunarsma8446]

!!!@@bakerfritz4681

[@kuro2797]

What I hate is that I need extra time pressure as well as something on the line to get me focused for a period of time. It works, but it’s also stressful, and there’s always an overwhelming feeling of “I wish I spread this out” but when I do spread it out, nothing gets done til the last minute anyway.

[@amitoys844]

before waiting a last minute try using a timer. It helps.

[@BrownGeorge-pw2xo]

I was actually diagnosed with ADHD since my teenage. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 5 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@NicoleCtirad]

they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.

[@DonnHowes]

I've been looking to try shrooms for depression, just very difficult to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@Bastianbishops]

YES, I'm very sure of Dr.benshrooms

[@SusanaGomez-mp8sk]

I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice!

[@Wimruther-hk4zn]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@Am-js1ue]

Hyperfocus is still not useful for achieving Goal (I'm still wasting time). It's hard to have a long term goal The most useful thing for me to do is Trust the Process & have faith. Adhd feels like some kind of Mental Blindness.

[@AnymMusic]

it can depend. Hyperfocus can be useful, but it depends on if that focus is when you're working on smth that you also wanna reach a goal in (like for instance me making music and wanting a career in music). my big issue is starting new things even if everything's lined up. like social media for instance and making content. I know I basically need to for my business, I already kinda know what I wanna make, and I have a rough idea of when I would wanna post, but even then I have the idea in my head that I hate social media and content creation because I've slammed that into my head after trying and failing, and now I don't wanna try anymore/am scared to try again. unfortunately I've noticed that that's pretty much the solution to a lot of people with ADHD. having to figure it all out yourself. yes meds help on the short term, but it can't be healthy to always be on the amphetamines and so we basically somehow gotta figure out ways to make things work for us which is an absolute pain 😬

[@Am-js1ue]

@@AnymMusicThanks I get that we figure out ways for ourselves I fail in long term due to hyperfocus cause I get tired easily after hyperfocus (And if the task is complex, it never gets completed) I take too much time for something very minute. Then I mess everything up by thinking I can handle all my baggage & get demotivated (take too much time as Rest, All time gets Wasted)

[@greyblob1101]

True, the enthusiasm doesn't last long and you can get stuck doing things the hard way just because you like doing it that way more. Then eventually you stop feeling the initial enthusiasm and either forget abt it or do a half-baked job of finishing it. I try to catch that early on by either assessing if I really will care abt the goal I want to achieve in a month or 2 or if its work or school, what way would be the easiest instead what I feel like doing, but its hard af to deal with sometimes man.

[@yanoclaeys792]

ADHD can be hard at times to do mundane tasks, but for me it gave me some advantages as well. I got super interested in character art for games about 3 years ago and have been 'hyper focussed' on learning and practicing this skill, this could go on for hours and hours but it felt like only a couple minutes. And I'm proud to say I currently work as a character artist in the gaming industry!

[@vixxcelacea2778]

This internet stranger is also proud for what it's worth! I think most ADHD people need a creative job. It seems to be the thing they all gravitate towards. I'm in the process of getting help getting a job and I know it needs to be something on one of my rotating creative hobbies, singing, art, dancing and writing. I won't have the motivation and stimulation otherwise.

[@Breezely22]

My brain hates my job. I stand for 6 hours everyday and hand out food to people. When there's no people, I can't even listen to music. I just have to stand there. Alone. Bored. Daydreaming, singing, and doodling help.... But not enough.

[@SLYP1EPLUSH]

Thank you so much this encouraged me to get treatment. Wish me luck

[@yourbroskijack]

Don’t give up broski

[@eglelt219]

Best of good and luck!

[@thoyo]

Good luck!

[@twentytwentyeight]

You got this! And if you feel you don’t, it’s awesome you’re getting help. Godspeed future laureate

[@orionstarr5313]

Getting a diagnosis has been immensely beneficial for my mental health.

[@StealthTheUnknown]

I just pissed the teachers off by skimming through the highlighted and underlined terms in the textbook, remembering them and what they mean or apply to, and preemptively looking at both the quiz at the end of the chapter and the answers to that quiz. This would take me no more than 5 minutes, and got me ahead enough to mess around in class and still get answers right when teachers noticed I wasn’t where they were. Bugged the shit out of them and the other students, but they can’t do much if I understand the material. Work smarter, not harder. ADHD benefits by letting you skim the core details of a subject and adequately grasp it. The hard part is not partitioning even that small piece of energy or focus, and flunking. You gotta at least put that little nudge in

[@mmoarchives2542]

lol we intellects will always piss everyone around us off, people are threatened by how little effort we take bthat others struggle with

[@saal0]

We are very fast learners but only if we are interested and our mindset is right (aka not depressed or burnt out)

[@floppavevo5920]

In my experiences with ADHD I'm able to remember the most random fucking facts (mostly weird nature facts) but not the one thing I actually need to remember.

[@bobobsen]

I started failing classes by refusing to go to the test even when I already passed in terms of grades because I felt like I didn't earn it (barely spent any time on it). ADHD will teach you to very easily get through school and many other things.

[@wiegraf9009]

I always used to get called a liar because I would skim things and get the gist right but the details wrong. I have a hard time trusting what I know because of that.

[@melsgalleria]

Speaking as an artist that spent most of their life with untreated ADHD, and poor depression treatment, I can say getting treatment for the ADHD has been the best thing for me. While I had a ton of art ideas prior to treatment I wasn't really able to follow through with any of them. I have been getting both medication and therapy treatment for my ADHD for the last year and I have made more progress in all of the areas of my life since then. I still have times of hyperfocus, and no focus, but I am far better able to work through it. I still have a long way to go, especially when it comes to the damage that my ADHD caused over the years both with in my relationship and finances. I did find that once I started getting treatment for my ADHD, my depression and anxiety got better as a result of that even without changing medication for those. I agree there is a huge spectrum and I think it is well worth the time and effort to look into both medication and therapy for ADHD. I have been doing CBT, and DBT with my current therapist and we have made a lot of progress. Both of them have made a huge impact on my mental health as a whole.

[@Ryforge]

The mention of Bipolar type 2 hit home hard. I'm 36, in the last 2 years I've been diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 and later ADHD. It has been life changing but the adjustments from social and professional interactions have been and still are very hard. The immediate changes once I started medication were amazing though. I took some time off from my my senior management position prior to diagnosis. When I returned EVERYTHING has changed, I find it hard to navigate things that previously would have been easier and manageable. It is going to take time to adjust but I will get there soon, just need to keep working at it.

[@taintbrush237]

Sometimes when I push myself to do something that needs to get done that requires intense focus, its like my clutch is broken and I'm stuck in the same gear. No matter how much I fiddle with the shifter, it feels like I'm not getting any where.

[@aster5600]

and the worst part about it for me is that I can know exactly what I have to do, but I can't start it. like I'll literally be able to explain my entire idea to someone, but can't make any progress on paper. :(

[@venrisulven]

Dr. Barkley's statement rings so well. Whenever there's something I need to do like go to work, meet with someone, etc. I need to make sure I have about 2 hours beforehand to stop whatever I'm doing. It isn't going to take me that long to get ready or anything but there's a chance I'll get drawn into random research, gaming, youtube etc. which then makes my perception of time broken. For the 2 hours I'm constantly looking at a clock to ground myself to make sure I don't get lost in something even though I'm making myself bored and making the time feel slower. Other times I will sleep all the way up to when I have to leave even if it's a 3pm appointment since there's no chance for me to get distracted when I give myself no time to. I absolutely need to be somewhere else but my perception of it changes when I'm drawn into something from somewhere I need to somewhere I can avoid, ignore, or forget.

[@xthejetx]

Sometimes that focus gets locked on how overwhelming things are or hopelessness, and then it's just self stimulating in any way possible. I still believe it's unhealthy and even if you manage something incredible during that episode, everything else has suffered.

[@essendossev362]

I really admire that you actually listen to feedback and you're thoughtful about how you integrate it going forwards.

[@rev.rachel]

This gives a lot of really good nuances about living with ADHD. I know a lot of people who hate their ADHD and would absolutely wave a magic wand to remove it if they could. And I know a lot of people who wouldn’t get rid of it for a billion dollars (like me). And I know a lot of people who are somewhere in between. It’s definitely a spectrum, it’s definitely influenced by biology and pychology and society, and it’s definitely different for every person. There’s a big part of me that wishes we didn’t call ADHD and autism disorders because I think the basic wiring differences don’t automatically come with a net negative outcome. But it’s also very very true that a lot of people have a version of ADHD or autism that is very much a net negative and really significantly impacts their ability to function. I think where I’m at with it is that I think there is this attention difference and this autism difference that exists and that there are also disorders of those functions that affect a lot of people. That the difference and the disorder aren’t one and the same, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a disorder with your difference, either. I’m autistic and have ADHD and I wouldn’t change either for the world. They make me who I am, and I love what they change about my brain function. Because they’re normal to me, it looks like neurotypicals are impaired from where I’m standing. And I wish we taught kids with either or both how to love themselves and their brains for what they are and not just constantly ask them to mask symptoms and conform to neurotypical habits. But it really is a huge struggle for a lot of people, and you’re right that even among the people who love it, it’s often only after medication and other management that it’s possible to employ these things for a net zero or net positive outcome, if at all. I’m a big fan of the neurodiversity approach, but I don’t think subscribing to that means you have to ignore that these things can be genuine disabilities, and I don’t think it makes you a bad ADHDer if you wish you didn’t have it.

[@AnymMusic]

I see ADHD more as a condition. just makes it seem way less severe than if you call it a disorder. a mental condition vs mental disorder, which would you rather have

[@WCCXtra]

Totally relate to this.

[@Dice-Z]

@@AnymMusic Why don't we use the word disorder the way it's meant to be used, then? "Does it impair your life severly?" - No "Then it's ADHD, a neuro-logical/developmental/behavioral condition" - Yes "Then it's an ADHD disorder, a neuro-logical/developmental/behavioral condition and a mental illness"

[@_Chessa_]

I wish I had this outlook about what I have. I have been diagnosed since a child. Although who knows if that was done right because I feel so terribly dumb compared to others, I feel like I have more than just Aspergers and adhd. I feel super (s)uicidal about how I think everyday. But I literally cannot hold a job and I cry about everything especially when voices get loud and yelling starts. Today, I need to do my taxes and cannot bring myself to do that. I find these all super negatives so I’m finding my own brain function as a huge negative. I’ve been in bed just mesmerized by videos and comments. And I really do wish I had that kind of brain... those thoughts. It would be amazing to think of anything other than planning my own funeral for once in my dang life

[@aff77141]

This, all of this

[@phillip4307]

ever notice adhd is actually when you have TOO much attention, not a deficit of it

[@BlahBlah-wp9gr]

It's a deficit because your attention is displaced rather than focused like most other people. Let us say your attention is 360 degrees around you, starting from your eyes, wrapping around past your ears, and all the way to the back of your head. Normal folk will have the center of this circle shifted forward closer to their eyes allowing for a majority of their focus to be on what's in front of them. A person with ADHD can have the center of the circle shifted to either ear or to the back of their head. What this leads to is, essentially, more focus on separate topics rather than the important things directly in front of you. Hyperfocus comes into play when your circle rotates such that the largest portion of your attention span lines up with what you are doing, want to do, or just happen to be doing. This is how I've visualized ADHD in my head, maybe this could help. Of course, it is not this cut-and-dry, but it makes sense to me.

[@phillip4307]

@@BlahBlah-wp9gr "adhd" means you have more focusing power and so you focus greatly on what is stimulating because that's what focus is. "you" don't "decide" anything, just the human brain pays attention to whatever is the most stimulating. its like extraversion, extraversion doesnt magically change into something else when covid hits and you cant go outside anymore compared to when you were comfortable in a dynamic work environment. it makes me so mad when people talk as if adhd is some disease that pops up whenever you have to do homework or that stimulants make us sleepy or whatever retarded shit what you are describing is more like open mindedness honestly, which makes you more abstract and intelligent. people with high openness have a hard time dealing with adhd but dont have it in higher prevalence than close minded people.

[@BlahBlah-wp9gr]

@@phillip4307 What I tried to describe was my own experience with ADHD and it was not a literal one either. I was simply visualizing that the access to attention is limited based off of any number of factors, hence why I said that it could shift. My intent was to show that everyone has an allotted attention span and it is more focused in people without ADHD. (which I represented as towards the eyes, the thing you observe the world through) The person with ADHD will have this "circle" of attention be biased in a direction elsewhere and will rotate, allowing for instances of hyperfocus. I was not trying to literally say that a noise to your left will have more attention placed on it because that's where the circle bias is. Focus is defined by interest, and interest requires your input. ADHD gets in the way of the transaction between interest and focus. Which is why one may not be able to sit down and read a book for more than a minute or two. You can say that it's just because you don't like reading, but I quite enjoy reading and I'll have times where I can't. Also, this extra "focusing power" you mention is merely the attention that goes unused throughout your life when you should have been focusing. It just so happens to be in a stretch longer than most people. Due to your misunderstanding, I will change the shape of attention for those with ADHD to a dodecagram. This will allow for focus to happen when the thing to be focused on is pierced by one of the points. The dodecagram will be larger to make up for the lost area, and the length of each point can represent the duration of hyperfocus. Hopefully that is simpler to visualize.

[@kimdavis2433]

The bit about "brain+circumstances" definitely resonates with me. I'm between doctors right now and off meds but am managing to cope with mine quite well actually because my only responsibility right now is one freelance project that is extremely interesting to me and lets me work whenever I want. Normally I have a lot of issues meeting deadlines, but it feels great to be able to sit down and work on this for multiple hours (with breaks) and get everything turned in with time to spare.

[@Scottie_McNaughty]

I'm bipolar & have ADHD, & 45. Loved this video... Needless to say, medicating both is difficult, & I've been actively dealing with living with this for over 25 years... I only disagree with one thing. Medication DOES dull your creativity. To say you can regain your creativity after medication is just not at all true. Yes, it helps in your day to day life, but being someone who makes a living off my creativity, medication was detrimental... I learned how to handle bipolar over the years. Forcing myself into a steady sleep pattern & regular exercise (as well as being self aware & trusting those around me) helped my bipolar II more than medication, & kept my creativity... UNFORTUNATELY I haven't had as much luck with the ADHD. And medicating that without effecting the bipolar & creativity is has been fruitless. I'm finally at a place in my career where I feel I can let go of the inspirational creativity, & rely on what I've learned in the arts... I'm ready for medication again. The problem is I can't afford a therapist or medication... As I'm getting older, it's becoming more physically draining & I'm willing to give up some creativity. And after a devastating divorce, I know I can't handle this on my own. I need help badly... If only I could afford it.

[@foggyfrogy]

The perseveration point makes so much sense, because there are things I can't stop doing even if it's not really like I wanna do it or when I know there are other more important things that I should do.

[@brandiwentzel7850]

Your definition of ADHD and holistic approach feel very right to me. I came here from the Gifted is Special Needs video and I appreciate everything you’ve said so far. Thank you

[@elysianvision2670]

I wanted to thank you for this video. I am an artist and work with multiple mediums: music, film, drawing/painting/collaging. I finally got diagnosed for ADHD recently and started stimulant medication. From what my friends who also had ADHD had expressed to me was that medication could somewhat hinder their creativity, which was a concern for me that I expressed to my doctor. Today is day 3 of stimulant medication and I just feel so much more relaxed and so far have not noticed any dilution of my expression with art. This video helped me be more hopeful for my future endeavors. Thank you

[@AndrewS-vu4ji]

The "hyper focus" is only thought of as a benefit because it is one of the few times you can remain focused on one thing, while normal ADHD functioning wouldn't allow that sort of thing.

[@kirara2516]

The way I see my ADHD (i'm untreated for it btw) is those who see it as an advantage more than a curse is because they've developed methods to cope with it. To adapt to use it to their advantage. Ex: if I have projects put to the side for a while, and I suddenly get the urge to do one, say, "Clean the kitchen." I might put it off for two weeks and then boom! I suddenly feel the need to clean and I go straight for that kitchen. they take advantage of when the urge strikes.

[@Sweetsilverseashells]

Absolutely! It’s always been the judgement that haunts me… when I don’t judge myself I am free! I like being free to flow when the moment strikes :)

[@OwningAuthenticity]

I feel like I have crafted a life for myself that allows my "disordered functioning" to not just overcome "disordered", but to actually thrive. I totally resonate with the OP meme - I feel like I can accomplish A LOT in even just one hour of hyper-focus. One example, I'm currently working (on a 12 month contract) to create a training course. To say I have a "sporadic" work regimen would be a Huge understatement. Especially lately, most of the hours I've logged toward my project have basically spontaneously happened where I'll wake up halfway through my sleep and wake up Very Ready to knock out a Particular Piece. *Emphasis on - I wake up knowing which piece I'm wanting to tackle next. Especially in those bursts, what Dr. K said about hyperfocus & the flow state definitely peaked my interest because that's basically what it feels like - like a river that is flowing and I just hop on.* I'll stay up like 1-4am and knock out a HUGE chunk of a module, then go back to sleep til like 7am. I nap almost every afternoon for at least an hour, if not 2 or 3 or 4. I've totally surrendered, and crafted my life around, allowing myself to focus on what I feel like when I feel like it. And ta-da, no disorder of function. I pay my mortgage, I feed myself, I wash my laundry (sometimes every 3 months lol). It's just a matter of when is it acceptable to do your work and when to pay attention? It's also relevant to mention, I worked on my training course as soon as I got the contract for like 2 weeks super intensely. Then not at all for like 6 months. Now I have ~16 weeks left to finish the whole project and suddenly it's So Easy to be inspired with these bursts of focus dedicated to particular pieces of the project. I get what Dr. Russel whatshisface is saying but the number of times he said the word "should" in the small quote Dr. K included is a Huge Red Flag for me taking in his opinion. I learned a long time ago, "shoulds" just don't fly in my inner world. It is what it is and maybe that's not just ok, but exactly as it was intended to be.

[@andrewfarrington6627]

I'm 40 wondering why I'm so bad at life found out about adhd in the last 4 years and realised oh crap all these things apply to me. I'm just awaiting diagnosis. When I listen to videos like this they seem to affirm my suspicions and are super helpful in understanding the condition. Thank you for this video.

[@richwilson9517]

Thanks! This demonstrates an deep appreciation and knowledge of the subtleties of adhd and what it feels like to have an ADHD brain. great job. rw

[@treesaretough]

I can appreciate the perspective that hyperfocus is a gift. I know I felt that way up until the last year or so. It was the only way to meaningfully raise my ability to be productive. The problem always comes back to when you cant stop. It leads to burnout or "ruining"/"getting sick of" things that I would really really enjoy. Being able to turn that hyperfocus into a more sustainable actions has been super rewarding. Example, after years of thinking & wanting & trying/failing I have started uploading to youtube regularly

[@alisiademi]

My personal experience with ADHD. Finding meditation and learning how to create my own reality and re-program myself has led me to a very happy and peaceful life as a self-employed artist/creator. I thrive without any medication and without any negative beliefs about "having adhd". I always ask for help with certain tasks like setting up technology, registering my car, taxes, ect. And I have learned to withdraw the minute I get frustrated. It's more logical to focus on our strengths than beat ourselves up about the things we aren't as good at when we can simply allocate those tasks to someone else. I've learned to enjoy more boring tasks like chores by listening to music or podcasts and being totally in the now. It's sad that people diagnosed with adhd think there's something wrong with them when it really is a free pass to not have to fit in to the status quo. After all, it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society, as the famous quote says. There's also a conversation of whether these "symptoms" are caused by abuse and I have freed myself so much by healing my traumas. Another thing I ponder is, why is our society obsessed with being constantly productive and having a phobia of rest? I suppose the capitalist system is what benefits from that. Who cares. What is being productive if you don't know how to just be.

[@reganovich]

This is spot on..peace from Ireland Alisia

[@rosafisher5717]

love this!

[@zohaibmehmood3027]

My ADHD won't let me watch this whole video......

[@stephanies8981]

Me either

[@kauragouscat]

I'm zoning out

[@findsharon]

I've already tuned out.

[@kellyl11082]

I would like to give a sincere thank you because the delivery of your presentation was excellent. You were unbiased and thorough in your material and I really appreciated that. Again thank you!

[@kingfisher9553]

It was never suggested that I had ADHD in my youth (but I now know I was). Made a successful career with my favorite subject for hyper focus (also a creative endeavor). Was good at algebra but not geometry (algebra was a game, never applied in a useful way). As an adult I could do algebra if I sat and looked at the problems for about four minutes, having patience with the feeling that I had no idea why I should care and not worrying about why I couldn't seem to understand the problem. After four minutes I would feel as if a heavy door opened in my mind and suddenly I crossed over into "math land" and it was easy. Now, much older, I learned my adult my son definitely has it in just the ways I do. Definitely not a plus, but certainly workable as a plus. That's the key. Learning how to work it. Also, get meds if you need them!! Just started micro dosing on mushrooms for anxiety and ADHD, legal in my state. So far, definitely helping with anxiety and motivation.

[@21o67]

Andrew huberman (Stanford professor and neruoglist) Did a amazing podcast on ADHD which I would recommend to anyone who had struggled with it. The TLDR is neurons get fired in the wrong pathways causing issues along with focusing on the wrong thing at hand. Along with it being tied to a dopamine deficiency hence people with ADHD have a history of self medicating because surprise, most drugs greatly increase dopamine. I personally struggled with substance abuse most of my life, and finally after getting the proper treatment for ADHD, l've been clean for the longest period I have ever been since I was 12 years old.

[@lei090704]

What was the proper treatment?

[@mrtambourineman6107]

Adhd has definitely helped me in many many ways, such as learning guitar for 16 hours a day, every day, having said this, normal life is a baffling ordeal that I struggle with every day. Who wants to be normal though

[@OwnTheFate]

So I like Dr K.'s videos a lot but often find myself having some reservations about some points/statements or slighty different point of views (which isn't bad, I feel comfortable having my mind stretched and being able to gently debate with someone's output when it's a person I mostly agree with and respect cause they know what they are doing). But this video, I couldn't agree more with the entirety of it. Coming from an 28 y/o adhder diagnosed sadly only 1 year ago, it's one of the best videos about ADHD by a professionnal I've seen, if not the best. I also greatly encourage anyone who thinks having any neurodivergency/mental condition to get diagnosed, treated and find a way to better adapt their life to their needs without guilt. Knowledge is power, especially knowledge about yourself and how you function. Chances are your quality of life is gonna globally enhance. And that's also thanks to videos like this one and to people who spread true facts and awarness :)

[@Sk1pperCS]

I find that. I have this unbelievably hyperintense flow state that only happens under immense pressure and desire to overcome something, I cant just flip it on and off... This only truly happens to me in videogames or an intense moment in sports. Its a great feeling. Almost like an anime character fight where they use their powerup. As soon as I lose interest in something tho, my brain shuts off and I become a potato lol, like quite impossible to put any more brain power to it.

[@mmoarchives2542]

ADHD doesn't make things hard, people around you that doesn't have ADHD will make things hard for you because you stray from a laid out path

[@sampsony461]

that is so true jesus

[@sonymicronin]

False that sounds more like autism

[@saal0]

Not fully my experience. Not regulating my energy has kept me from doing things I want when burnt out

[@cvbattum]

I think it's only half true. Like with the example of Russel Barkley, sometimes you really shouldn't have done the thing that you were doing because it made you miss a goal you set for yourself. Even if you completely take away the layer of society, some people end up with eating disorders because their ADHD makes them eat so irregularly that their body says no. That would be a very extreme and severe case, but there are less obvious examples of this that aren't as simple as "society is setting unreasonable expectations on us, so it's society's fault."

[@notbrad4873]

Sounds like shifting the blame to me, which is not healthy or particularly empowering. Harsh rigidity is a barrier to all people with most if not all types of disabilities. Bureaucracy is a huge barrier to people with ADHD, because bureaucracy is inherently rigid and designed (sometimes purposely) to make people give up. Accommodations and accessibility are actionable and results-oriented, but not blame-shifting to "neurotypicals"

[@heloiseweber8000]

Definitely felt the example of the groceries. I still live with my parents and almost everyday my mom asks me to do something that I either not heard because I was not paying attention or either forgot the very next second and couldn't ever hope of remembering during the day. So she gets angry and tells me that I "never think about anything" but it's the total opposite. I'm constantly thinking about way too many things so obviously I can't keep everything in mind and I don't care enough about the chores she's giving me so it slips out of my brain. But I'm not going to tell her about my concerns about my potential adhd because she's going to say it's an excuse and I'm inventing brain problems again just to do nothing.

[@steves1015]

It's incredibly refreshing to hear how you strive to support what you say with published articles, even discarding poorly designed studies. While it is something that any good scientist should naturally do, there are far too many people with large followings (either on KZbin, writing books, or through TV) who just tell people what they "think" will work, without anything to actually back it up. And there are others who will jump on the single poorly-designed study that supports their position, against the mountain of other evidence against.

[@LawderOfficial]

I’m an artist and fully agree with everything said here! I even sent the video to my mom as we are working out the aftermath of one of my phases of 6 months ago. Currently we are looking to create an environment where as Dr. K describes I will be able to access my driven-mindset to work creatively in a professional context, without sacrificing basic habits like sleeping and eating etc.

[@aqune9578]

for me right now i really struggle with motivation. anything that isnt imminent is worthless to me. and i realize this, i realize that i WANT to do well and succeed, but theres no push. i want a successful future but that future isn't happening in the next hour, so it just doesn't motivate me.

[@Sam-lo8yj]

100% with you there

[@tookitogo]

I hear you…

[@thegeforce6625]

Yup

[@mythicpink]

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. Today I'm 35 and I work as a UI programmer. I can focus on a puzzle, come up with creative solutions and continue until it's solved. My problems are that I can forget to eat meals and if my assignment is more of a menial task, I can easily get distracted. Sometimes people ask me a question during a meeting and I'm not there mentally. I've tried multiple medications but they all made me sick. My sister, a social worker, encourages me to try to new medications but also says that the newer ones tend to cause anxiety which i don't need more of.

[@s.ascott1959]

Last night around 9:00 pm I set a goal to fold my laundry, take a shower and go to bed. It’s now 2:00pm the next day and did any of those goals get accomplished?? Nope, not one but my bathroom now has new floors. My floors look great but I still can’t help feeling like a fuck up.

[@morigahn]

Obviously my experience having ADHD- I can focus on things, not always what I want to be focusing on, sometimes my focus is on what I need to do and the want to do it vs getting overwhelmed by doing it because I notice the 10,000 small things it requires (well, "requires") and I get lost in the trees and forget everything else. Some people find making lists helpful, I don't personally, I find making "I've done this today" lists better for me, a reminder of what I got done and not an endless list of what I still have to do. Repetitive and redundant wording, I just woke up. I was also diagnosed with ASD a couple years before the ADHD diagnosis. I'm not sure if I have both, one or the other, possibly neither- me at 16-19 and me at 31, not the same mental processing, diagnosis aside. Bipolar was slapped on me at 16, medication got layered and layered, etc. I have neuropsychological testing scheduled soon, my current neurologist is by far one of the best I've seen so far and I appreciate his referral for testing. I still see psychiatry and therapy, of course. Low key annoys me my neurologist is saying my insomnia is because of my ADHD meds, I find taking a half or fourth of a dose *helps* my sleep on nights my mind is racing and I can't fall asleep. Helps more than benzos, tbh.

[@henzobean]

As someone with ADHD, I'm choosing to treat my disorder as a gift b/c i too don't fit in with normal brains, i have noticed this thoughout the years. I realized when I was young that my brain definitely works differently than my peers but it always gave me the edge in grand scheme of things because of what it gave me. (Different perspective in situations [made me funny]; quick non-stopping brain[easy to generate and apply ideas], physical sports were always easy to understand and learn quickly. It's different for everybody but learning to master your mind (finding out what works for YOU) (and y that is, biological or emotional reasons, etc) is the key if u have adhd Im not on meds btw

[@edwardbrett6133]

good one! Never had an issue with how you have presented, infact, I think you are wonderful as a professional providing education and your knowledge. I am very very pro Mr Barkley and and very keen for social acknowledgement of the sheer damage that ADHD does, particuly through the lens that the damage occurs due to people not understanding it (which is completely understandable, I didnt either until I was diagnosed). Education is everything - and you are bloody great for even talking about this - compliments to the person you engaged with also!! Good job you two - thankyou!

[@M00Nabove]

Thank you so much for these videos. I love how you introduce various points of view. My husband was diagnosed with adhd recently in his late 30s and these videos are helping me a lot to better understand him. ❤

[@wanderingrandomer]

That last point is a real good one. As a teenager, I was really scared of seeking treatment for my social anxiety because I thought that I would lose who I was as well. I was so used to thinking of myself as being anxious, that it became part of my identity.

[@ayuumi220]

Feedback: From someone who struggles with keeping attention; it helped me focus on this video a lot more in the beginning due to you showing stuff on screen. The moment it hit the 10:30 ish mark, when you went back to fullscreen camera mode, my attention dwindled unexpectedly fast. Just an FYI.

[@DarthJarJar10]

Thanks for the candour and honesty in this video, Dr K! It applies to me... I would say I'm a 2e in that I did really, really well, right up until the early part of a very challenging career path. Your video about gifted children helped me too in that I tried to get help at various stages of my life but it never stuck, or being smart/having the marks more than made up for what was inattentive ADHD and was only diagnosed after significant familial betrayal trauma and the confirmation of various aspects of dysfunction in my family, at age 30. Chief amongst them that my mother secretly had early-onset Alzheimer's for most of our lives and was only diagnosed 8 months before my ADHD was diagnosed. It was also revealed that not only did her father like have it, but that things like personality disorders, bipolar disorder and epilepsy run in her family too. I was on Concerta for about 2 months when I had to stop taking it because I was diagnosed with epilepsy. And a week ago, almost 16 months after that, after requesting it several times, I finally started Strattera/Atomexatine and am praying to God (despite my gnosticism) that it takes and my life can get back on track.

[@deannawanzo7629]

I'm just becoming aware of how disruptive this is to my daily life. Big changes happened 6.5yrs ago. BIG!! I appreciate this channel and how there are no judgments imposed on me. My whole life this issue was treated as a character flaw on my part. As a middle aged adult, I experienced repeated brain injuries. Those have put my issues in hyperdrive! Thank you Dr K, for creating this community!! I am learning to NOT beat myself up over what I CANNOT control. I may even be on the spectrum, no medical insurance is a serious drag, and don't have an official diagnosis. May compassion for others move us to be kind to others and their personal struggles.

[@NiSE_Rafter]

wow the little sleep around finals hyper-manic state into piss poor months of performance is my life story so far being a failing student barely able to keep my head above water.