Growing Pain Versus Shrinking Pain: How To Tell If You're Moving Forward

[@oliverrojas3185]

This video is not more of a standout than other videos. What stands out is a collectiion of videos that I have viewed from a year earlier to the past 8 weeks that has me tipping.

[@wspn266]

❤

[@Mahan1372]

The part about not accepting reality - especially not wanting to admit a relationship isn’t making us happy anymore - hit home for me. As someone who has people pleased his entire life to cope with trauma and just not having the best models for secure interpersonal relationships, I have definitely been guilty of staying in relationships even though I knew deep down that I wasn’t happy anymore. This pain becomes manifold when you also add toxic shame that tells you that you don’t need to have your needs met anyways because you’re inherently not a good human being, and it almost becomes impossible to sustain something that is healthy. Thank you for this Heidi, you’re literally helping me heal one video at a time.

[@ataxie]

Same here. Whenever I wanted to leave my ex because I wasn’t truly happy, I felt the deep shame and guilt as if I didn’t do well enough. I felt way too much responsibility for her well being while mine was shattered over years. Once I finally explained myself I faced with high levels of gaslighting because I was “useful”. It’s a hard journey but Heidi helps a lot 🙏🏻

[@Mahan1372]

@@ataxie I get that. For me, moving on has been difficult because I have a very hard time seeing other people’s faults in my past relationships, and even years after relationships have ended, I just keep revisiting small moments and criticize myself for not saying things I should have said. It’s hard to move forward when I feel as though everything in my past relationships have been caused by my inability to express my needs properly, even though 9 times out 10, it takes two to tango. My inner critic always keeps telling me that I’m the reason for everything going wrong. Ironically, the key to solving this seems to be self-compassion, which is super hard with the negative self talk preventing that from happening.

[@LordInvictus-yt]

"guilty of staying in relationships even though I knew deep down that I wasn’t happy anymore" You shouldn't even be in a relationship if you can't patiently repeat your wishes and be optimistic about them being met and willing to compromise. That has nothing to do with the other person. People can't meet your needs unless you patiently guide the other person to do so. You are looking for a parent figure and a mind reader.

[@Mahan1372]

@@LordInvictus-ytyes I am aware, it doesn’t have anything to do with other person. I was mostly talking about where the inability to communicate stemmed from, which was my own past and my own shortcomings.

[@Mahan1372]

@@LordInvictus-ytand not having my needs met was referring to a general mindset that had already been established due to other, personal reasons. I wasn’t communicating my needs because I didn’t think I deserved having my needs met due to my personal baggage. Again, that has nothing to do with other person - just more so pointing out the destructive mentality that toxic shame can bring about.

[@EayuProuxm]

5:27 Shrinking Pain diminishes energy/skillset. Growing Pain enhances energy/skillset 7:58 Shrinking Pain demands a lot of rationalization. Growing Pain does not. 11:39 Shrinking Pain causes you to cling any passing joy, it feels scarce. Growing Pain gives you the ability to let go, bc joy is abundant. 13:44 Shrinking Pain keeps you connected to your 'shoulds'. Growing Pain keeps you connected to your 'whys' 17:29 Shrinking Pain keeps you feeling like you're going in circles. Growing Pain expands your viewpoint.

[@new_to_planet4424]

Thank you!! 🙏🏿

[@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774]

I wish you lot of growing pain dear 😃

[@visionvixxen]

I’m dead Need to know where to go w my life No one helping me Also how do you help yourself when you’re at the last stuff you’re so depressed but you’re not gonna go to the hospital and you just have so many other comorbidities that you’re totally lost and you don’t have money for rehab. It’s just all my God I don’t even know what to do.

[@emilyruszczyk818]

Hi. I found you not too long ago and am so thrilled that I did. Have done all sorts of work for years and find your content as well as presentation so exceptionally unique and powerful. It penetrates through barriers and hits on things in ways nothing else does! There are plenty of comments on here along these lines but I truly hope that you take it in, receive it. Your work is changing lives and I'm so very grateful for it! Keep on, Heidi P!

[@JamesNGames]

Ah, the signs of progress amidst pain are unmistakable. You can feel the growing pain fading into a mere whisper, while the shrinking pain takes a backseat. It's like a scale tipping in your favor, as you bravely overcome each hurdle, inching closer to a stronger, brighter version of yourself. Keep pushing, because nothing screams victory louder than surpassing the trials that once held you back. You've got this!

[@nathanielkrause4191]

"Nothing can be done against the truth No matter how we remain in denial. Chasing time, replacing time with each empty excuse, But that'll only work a little while"

[@shirahthietje1238]

Damn. Really needed this video this week. I remember when I had my son the birth process was so painful but also I realized in that moment it was divine pain, literal birthing pain- life-giving pain. That’s what I think of when you talk of growing pain vs. shrinking pain. The pain that allows the creation of something new vs the pain that leads to destruction and atrophy

[@prod.arcsyne2990]

My inner child loves you Heidi!

[@bobletch7308]

"shinking pain feels like burnout" That speaks to me so much. I have been in a state of burnout for a decade, but I wasn't even working when it started, so no therapist I saw had a clue what is happening to me. This entire video resonates a lot, but I would argue that both pains are not necessarily separate. Like, I have become unable to continue my career in IT, yet that is where I have my degree and experience, so it would be "logical" to stay there. But then I feel ever stronger emotions when I deal with gardening, plants, shamanism. So my feeling is that it is the same thing deep inside me that is crippling me in my current life and showing me another way instead. It first sent me intuitions, but I wouldn't listen as the appeal of career and salary was so strong. So it just turns up the volume until I finally get reasonable and listen.

[@marcelvandermeulen2219]

So good! The difference between surviving and thriving is actually much smaller than many people understand. Thank you Heidi

[@buttbuttwhat1]

Thank you for putting this all online for free. You’ve genuinely helped me more than decades of therapy.

[@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774]

Hi, I kinds disagree. Decades of therapy and your extensive efforts have made it possible for you to understand and appreciate this helpful video. You are a great soul. Wish you lot of growing pain 😊

[@buttbuttwhat1]

@@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774 I don’t know if you meant it, but it’s wildly inappropriate to invalidate someone (especially when you literally know nothing about them) when they’re speaking on their growth. Not everyone benefits from talk therapy, and you genuinely have no idea what was discussed during the sessions, so it’s strange for you to assume anything about it. If you really want to know then Crowley’s Book of the Law is what has helped me understand what’s going on. “Every man and woman is a star.” I hope you have a good day and again, it’s weird as hell to invalidate a stranger’s growth.

[@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774]

@@buttbuttwhat1 i am so sorry

[@21Raya45]

I strongly disagree with this comment, I don’t think the intention of @tanajisahastrabuddhe4774 was to invalidate the growth. As I took it in what trying to give some perspective on how even though years of therapy my seem useless perhaps they are what has set the foundation for the openness and receptiveness to be able to get this information and learn from it. It’s difficult to assume just by this video alone one could understand the complexities of the subject with prior introspection, processing and intuition training, all which are explored and exercise in therapy, putting perspective into this might help people reading through the comments and going through a difficult time to not invalidate years of therapy and self work if they can’t find the answers they need from this video. It’s all little pebbles that will work towards healing, not a right, wrong or only way.

[@21Raya45]

For you this is the top of a collection of pebbles and one that holds the most meaning, this is the one that clicked. For others this video will hold no meaning because they don’t have any foundation that can hold this information.

[@felixtownn]

15:36 "Any path that we choose to walk down in life, it's going to improve challenge, it's going to include difficult decisions and it's going to include at some point trading in something we want right now for something we want more later"

[@pooru1231]

I understand now that your psyche is like a plant, and it grows inside you into every part of your system, controls functions etc so as things go branches gotta be cut, leaves die and stuff is regrown and trauma causes that pot to shrink or the plant itself shrinks. And then we regrow the pot and the psyche. That growth is precious because what inspired that growth is hard to come by.

[@SamEEE12]

Sometimes you've got to lean into some shrinking pain to grow, too. Sometimes life is just a crap-sandwich and you have to eat it and try to enjoy it for what it is. The line between the two is hard to identify in the moment.

[@dramatriangle]

I’m going through both at the same time. This is inspiring me to keep pushing for what I truly need in order to be joyful, inspired, fully authentic.

[@vwmusicplaylist1935]

Watched quite a few of these videos now. Some really exceptional content on this channel.

[@sunnyadams5842]

That's for sure. She's like the embodiment of Compassion and hard core kick-butt wisdom. She's just SOOO CLEAR!! I love it!

[@cloudslady3400]

I always hear people saying how illness changed their lives in a positive way..but mine never did…for some reason I keep resisting the fact that I’m incapable of achieving what was my life purpose I call that resistance “hope” but it was never uplifting it was shrinking pain..I still try to figure out how to deal with the situation..thank youuuu your videos are tons of helpful hands ❤️❤️

[@mysoulcalledlife]

I’m already on my second listen. Two nights ago, I was recording an audio journal (I find them much more helpful and productive for me than written journals) and at a certain point I had mentioned to myself how I really would like to understand the difference between growing pain and shrinking pain since it’s something I’d heard you say recently and it had struck me. What perfect timing! Thank you, Heidi!💖

[@brncsk]

A big +1 to audio journaling - they make me somewhat uncomfortable but at the same time more self-intimate, also the emotional bandwidth seems to be much higher than writing, so yeah, definitely a big discovery for me this year.

[@AleBonf]

​@@brncski

[@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774]

​@@brncskalso it capturers our true emotions when we say things as against text mainly stores symbols of our feelings

[@LindsayStraw]

This video was incredibly helpful for me last year in inching towards a decision and realization about myself that needed to happen. I'm still struggling with aspects of that choice, but in revisiting my notes on it, I'm bowled over at how true and accurate everything still is. It's making it even clearer to me that I was headed in the right direction, however scary it was. Thank you, Heidi, for these videos!

[@KimMaverick]

Thank you for this. Memories of my last relationship surfaced as I was listening to your description of shrinking pain, leading to a sense of peace that I made a good decision in ending it. I often fight my intuition because I dislike the idea of “giving up” on something. This framework helps so much.

[@figsuitcase]

Haven't even finished this yet, but it's godsend. I was just thinking last night "I need to find a Heidi Priebe video to help me with this issue I'm struggling with but I don't know quite what to search for" and this morning this appeared and I knew it was exactly the content I need!! Thank you Heidi, you're helping me sort out so many things with self compassion and clear direction.

[@romygarcia3782]

The part of not accepting that the relationship isn’t making me happy anymore is recognizable. One of the reasons I did stay too long, was because my exes always cheated on me, this last one didn’t, so I told myself over and over again ‘At least, he’s not cheating on you’ … I ended up giving too much away of myself, I didn’t recognize myself anymore in the end when I looked in the mirror. Than the discard was what followed. Since than, I’ve been on a painful, healing journey, which sometimes feels as a never ending journey. It is a very hard truth to accept, especially when you gave away so much of yourself, that nothing seems to be left anymore … Your videos have helped me a lot already Heidi, so thank you for that 🙏 … Today is a bad day however 😢

[@orchidoclaste420]

This topic is tremendously important! Thank you for addressing it in such a valuable manner 🤍

[@shawnaleigh4430]

I just found your channel today and I’ve listened to like 10 of your videos so far.. Your channel is genuinely more helpful than the 14 years I’ve been going to therapy.

[@LazarusFeels]

I came to this video again today, because I have been feeling I am missing something in whats happening, refusing to accept reality, or something that I was so desperate and hopeful that I wanted it to work, doesnt seem to be working out for me. Atleast not now. The possibility that my true trump card is not what I am playing right now seems to be real. But, as with every other feeling, this is also a feeling I will want to sit with. And see how it evolves.

[@Illustrious_Print]

Fellow ENFP here and I've been watching your content for almost a year now. Thank you so much for how informative and articulate you are able to present all of this. I can relate to so much of your content that it almost feels like we've lived the same life. I was also the scapegoat. I'm also fearful-avoidant (aware and on my way to become secure) Also struggled with overdrinking/overeating. Also struggled after a major break-up, spiralled into a depression which forced me to grow. Also have an ISTP sister. Also love writing, A LOT. I read, all the time, mostly non-fiction, at least one book a week. Turning 27 this year and I have already been on one hell of a self-development journey since the break-up with my ex-fiance at age 25. Also I have a low key (not so low key) crush on you. Haha.

[@MaryLe-lf6hx]

Heidi, I appreciate your deep insights and how much efforts you put into each video. Each video is very deep and helpful to me personally.

[@cassandragrayes6149]

This is something I struggled with in my past relationship. I stayed because I thought it was growing pains but at the end, came to my senses that it was actually senseless pain. Thanks for this

[@AveryVaughn-x8m]

Heidi, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you do. I'm twenty five years old and struggle with anxious attachment and anxiety overall. The anxiety strongly manifests in terms of shoulds--which usually means selling out my authentic self and what I really want for the sake of some connection. It's happened with family members and realtionships. I've done work with therapists to uncover the childhood traumas that lie behind this, but at the root, it's about me refusing to be present to what is actually happening and what I'm feeling in my body. I've recently woken up to a whole 'shrunken' life I've been living the past few years. Admitting it has been painful, but I'm already feeling immense relief and a buoy of courage floating up inside me. The courage to live the life I actually want to live--not the life that I think I 'should' live. I'm ready for the growing pains. You inspire me--have watched several of your videos after just discovering your channel a few weeks ago. You were recommended to me by my Mom, who coincidentally, is also on a healing journey regarding anxious attachment! We've made several references to your videos during our phone calls. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom with the world :)

[@vorbis4860]

This is an important video. And this is now on my Authenticity and Codependency playlists. I think there isn't enough material out there on how to tell the difference (especially by looking at physical feeling) between embodying truths (strength) and the sense of escaping a threat (relief and down-regulation).

[@lustertone8587]

I cannot emphasize enough how relevant your videos are in my current journey of self work. It's as if you have been specifically placed in my path to help me through what I need to be working on. The level of knowledge you have on these areas is mind boggling to me, however, it is very inspirational to know that the information is there for me to digest and process and put into action for myself. Thank you from the depths of my soul for what you are doing for those of us who are working on becoming the truest version of ourselves.

[@tanajisahastrabuddhe4774]

I dont know you but wish you lot of growing pain from India 😊

[@saratexas5181]

Just the title of this video changed my life hahaha. I now have the right language to speak to my therapist about this. THANK YOU

[@NothingFromMe]

And the Truth shall set you free. Appreciate it, Heidi.

[@LordInvictus-yt]

You should do a video on how you're not necessarily in the wrong situation if your needs are not met. You can be failing to be patient with asserting your needs. People do not go through their lives with a mental checklist of other people's needs that they have to meet, nor do people always understand their own needs. "For better or for worse" has a meaning and purpose in commitments. It's called a COMMITMENT.

[@Ramsicle3000]

Thank you for being a dependable Lighthouse keeper, during this treacherously foggy journey

[@lalailm]

This video is amazing! I wish I had found it before, honestly. It perfectly describes the confusion I had been dealing with my whole life: what type of pain have i been choosing without even knowing! Heidi I hope you know how important your work is and how it is actively changing people's lives! Thank you so much 😊❤

[@johndangerbenedictarnold7862]

People who tell actors their movies changed their lives or a musician that a song saved their life are crazy people that I dont understand. Every video you put out has impacted my life personally. It’s like you’re speaking directly to me. It changed my entire direction. They saved my life. So I’m assuming I’m a crazy person now. Thanks?

[@melaneehenderson3760]

Wow this really made cry-attempting to come to terms with the end of a relationship that really hurt😢

[@dtaz1]

This could not have come at a better time. I only discovered this channel a couple of weeks ago, after discovering for the first time what CPTSD was via other channels and books. I had screwed up once again in a relationship dynamic, and was angry at myself for making repeated mistakes. I didn't know why I was reacting the way I was to certain cues. Things have now started to make more sense about my life. I bought a book to write in, and made it my personal recovery/healing journal. In all my years of journaling, I have rarely had any cathartic emotions. I cried for the first time in years tonight, just a few hours ago while writing on an old memory. I was questioning myself after if it was healthy, if there was a point to it, or am I just hurting myself more bringing up these old memories, will it deepen those inner wounds? But I felt a sense of relief and heard some loving messages in my head, stronger than I've heard in years. Now I am mildly grieving that all this time spent journaling over the years, they might not have been the most productive, but I am gaining insight on how to best get in touch with my inner pain. For that I am grateful. Thank you for uploading what you do. Your channel has been my favourite for covering these topics, and you are helping people immensely.

[@moonstonemystic]

You are always so wonderful at explaining this stuff. I also enjoy the fact that your advice keeps me accountable for myself, instead of blaming everyone around me.

[@charithaheshan1048]

You have saved my life! Thank you 🙏

[@chisomoffor6877]

You teach about things , that I wonder about and need guidance and then boom Heidi is breaking it down

[@justinbordner6528]

Curiosity...Creation...Continuum To know of...To do of...To Become of...Pain is certainly the greatest Teacher, very loyal, quintessential. Pain is with us at birth, pain will become the foundation of our character, and pain will be steadfast unto our deaths. Interestingly, it is Pain that invites tender love into our lives, giving us the courage to kiss the truth of our hearts. Perhaps it is true for us, that to get the most out of life One needs to be masachistic. Incidentally, Freedom is measured by strength through degrees. The stronger we become the more Free we are. We find ourselves through pain, and lose ourselves through pleasure. It does take time, maturity to syncopate our suffering with the loving song of our soul. As is generally the case, we must find a way to overcome self doubt, oppressive self consciousness as we erect our temples in this world. You have a beautiful way of grappling with troubles in such a practical yet creative way. I love the eloquent clarity of your mind Heidi. Your word choices are so viable and vibrant. Your style, and clinical genius couple the art of epistemology and quest of psychology nicely. You are an extraordinary analyst.

[@Cevalip]

Impeccable timing as always - was just wondering the other day if I am doing what I am doing bc I like it or to avoid something worse😂

[@andreaperezflorez3356]

Literally came at the right time in my life. Heidi is psychic🔮

[@JordanG702]

Immediately liked and the video hadn’t even started. I love your content! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@nourahalfahad8383]

this literally came in time of need!! thank you for this! confirms that the pain i chose was actually the right choice for me

[@nourahalfahad8383]

finally aligning with the life i want

[@oliverrojas3185]

Thanks, I agree , and appreciate a need to work with and tolerate growing pain. Over the past few weeks , you have really changed the course of my life. I cannot even begin to tell how much more self aware I think I am concerning my disposition towards avoiding attachment. A few months earlier I saw your videos previews on my KZbin feed but I was afraid to click on them because I was reading topics like fearful avoidant and attachment. As a person trying to stay in touch with his masculinity I felt like clicking on those topics was encroaching upon it, Of course now I see I was completely wrong. Thanks for educating the KZbin community.

[@sunnyadams5842]

Heidi -YOU MY GOTO GIRL, these days. The next steps...Growing. Definitely growing. Thanks for the super astute help at this stage ❤🎉😂

[@PaptorTYKO]

Sometimes, u hit the right spot better than my therapist. Thank you, Heidi. ❤

[@_thadaywalker23]

Thank you for helping me to see things I have been stuck in for a very long time. Keep the content coming, you are helping a lot of people.

[@LauraHernandezUCL]

She's back with another banger 📢📢📢

[@Diachachimba]

I absolutely love your channel. Been giving me great tools in dealing with the “growing” pains of life. Noticed that I had been having more shrinking pains more often though.

[@abomidog]

Heidi, I feel like you're spying on me because I just had this entire conversation with my therapist the other day. It's exactly where I am at in my life right now, constantly using coping behaviors to disregard reality, and never knowing what I want to do with my life. Your videos help me tremendously to figure out what's going on in my head, and what's going on in my life. I feel the change coming as I work every day to move forward based on what feels right to me to do, rather than the should do's. I'm so used to telling myself, hey you got to get off the game cuz you have to do your dishes, or you have to go on your bike ride, you have to do some programming, etc. And I'm always going back to just doing the easy, fun, falsely fulfilling things and never actually sitting down with myself to figure out what I actually want out of life. Thank you for consistently showing up for this community and changing people's lives with your messages.

[@stephanieclimer4320]

Heidi… Your videos have brought supportive, deep wisdom to me between therapy sessions - but this one, this one comes from some magic. This was released JUST in time for me, to so perfectly align with some deep and painful unlocking I did with my counselor. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wisdom, and unknown support as I wrestle with this imminently.

[@kimberlysanchez5321]

Gosh this video hits it on home for me. I smiled through the end because I felt some hope and some clarity from alot of brain fog Im suffering from. When your book is available Heidi, I need your books in my library of self help teaching tools among my Louise Hay and Don Miguel Ruiz and David Richo. I’m so glad I can save this video part of my healing routine. Thank you a million times. Virtual Hugs 🫂

[@sunnyadams5842]

Have you looked into CPTSD and Emotional Dysregulation yet? The brain fog could be from that and it's so fixable. Polyvagal Nerve strengthening is a key... 🎉❤

[@kimberlysanchez5321]

@@sunnyadams5842 thank you. I am looking into solutions for years and I am at the time of my life now where I can take the time to learn more to help myself. I am under diagnosed. I never heard of PolyVagal Nerve Strengthening …thank you Kindly! I will do my research. Have a great day🌞🌼🤗

[@kimberlysanchez5321]

@@sunnyadams5842 I looked up the Vagus nerve and I want to thank you again for bringing that to my attention.

[@amberpratt2308]

This is really good morning stuff. Thank you

[@KyriosHeptagrammaton]

Any pain which is accepted as is, and fully experienced, is growing pain. The tricky part is when you think your "pain" is the responsibility of others who need to act to lessen your suffering. That is merely another way of avoid pain, not feeling it, even though you are suffering.

[@jenniferroberts7581]

Wow, this is amazing and transformative.

[@nishawilliams2080]

That’s the question I have too. I’ve realised so much of my current relationship could be limerance… all my friends and family don’t want me to be in a relationship with an unavailable man. When we are together it feels so amazing, when we try to talk about the future… it feels like the best we can commit to is “we are building a family…” when I ask what that means it’s a day by day thing. Part of me thinks perhaps I believe I am not someone who could be loved by a man, and that he would want to build a life with me? The present part of me realizes thats my inner child part, saying she doesn’t feel good enough, I think I am realising (through some really hard life lessons) that I don’t know how to: date, or what a healthy relationship with a partner looks like. Are there any podcasts or audible books you can recommend to help with this part of the journey? Heidi ❤ thank you so much for the knowledge you’re sharing, finding your channel has been a sign at a crossroads I’ve felt like I’ve been standing at for 3 years now… everyday I’m working on becoming my best self, for my girls - and for me… we all deserve the best versions of oneanother to 0:04 show up. Do you believe “love” is enough to stay in a relationship? I do love him, he is an incredible Man who sparks my creavity like no one else, I believe he would say the same about me :). When we are together it feels like we talk about and bring out the best (but we know also how to trigger the worst) in one another. Thank u 🙏 for your words and your brilliant mind, truly. The world is a better place because of the knowledge you are sharing x ❤️‍🩹 x

[@sunnyadams5842]

You are in a Trauma Bond. Walk away as soon as you can possibly manage it. There will NEVER be a good day for HELL, so you have to just rip off the band-aid. Point Blank. No offense. I am alive only because my friends put their foot down. Hard!! And OH!!🎉 He was So WONDERFUL - seemed worth it to me at the time. You will feel like you want to DIE for the first week, but if you can just lay low and survive through it you will be so amazed!! The fog will lift. You have been entranced. Believe me you,!!! Now - 2 rough years later, I smh at the me I was with him and thank God I have been brave and seen the light. I wasn't actually alive at all. I was a traumatized mess from childhood and didn't, even know it At ALL!! All the Best of Everything to you, my dear. It's up to you, but I know the truth and you asked because you do too!

[@sunnyadams5842]

Oh n ps: Lisa A Romano, The Crappy Childhood Fairy ( for CPTSD REPAIR Work she was very helpful to me. No therapist needed), Jerry Wise, Patrick Teahan.. um....HG Tudor... all good bets to get you thinking differently. Good Luck, Sweetie. Choose You. ❤

[@ma11221]

This is my favorite video of yours so far. It's extremely validating for me. I can imagine speaking all these words directly to my mother, who has frequently, unknowingly encouraged me to shrink and who gets scared when I talk about growing. If I could send this to the past me, from just a few short years ago, I'm sure it would help loosen up the stopped up thoughts in my head. This video is like a glass of water.

[@dm551]

@Heidi, dead center, yet again. Always inspired. Thank you!

[@ayishamudra]

Really useful content. Thanks Heidi.

[@lesliemctavish4300]

What's coming up for me? As always, Heidi, you nail what's going on with me.❤😂🎉 I definitely feel that "my soul has shrunk down over the years and I'm much at this point: I feel like I'm in crisis. I am applying what you've said from a few of your videos, and I will apply this one. Yet, I feel that it's LIKELY time for me to seek professional help to have someone help me. To see what I can't or which I've been trying with all of my effort over two years to move into. I think what I was doing to grow wasn't working in ways that I really needed and need. What I have identified and which answers the question you asked is in order for me to embark upon living through my authentic self (and I desire to develop that into a livlihood) I will need to accept that there is no gaurantee of success or income. The way through is also to trust my potential and gifts. Im getting to the point where direction even if it seems risky is the solution and is FAR better than being TRAPPED in indecision. Taking one step forward and embracing that I have no idea how it will turn out, yet trusting that it will.

[@NYKIKE]

I love your stuff! It helps me keep moving forward in my journey to improve my life!

[@joannk5259]

So well thought out and explained, thank you.

[@DR-vf9tr]

Your videos are so positive and helpful to me. Thank you!

[@lgbinkley]

Just what I needed to hear today❤

[@Undercovermotherfcker]

If only you knew how much I needed this video. Thank you!!!

[@dramatriangle]

21:47 to the end she talks about arriving in reality. I would be curious if she answers your question, but that part of the video might help.

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Thank you for sharing such insightful information 😊

[@juliamcclaysy829]

This is amazing, thank you so much. Your work is truly amazing!

[@fonsilvers]

Thank you!!! I so needed this!!

[@schoo9256]

Thank you, this is a gem of a video

[@loveForLife924]

Thank you so much Heidi for this insightful video.

[@jollyoli229]

i feel like finding a job that doesn't burn me out is so difficult and makes me feel a little hopeless. how do we know what job is right for us, when work isn't necessarily the place we should look for fulfillment? the job I'm in right now has pushed me a lot, and I've learned a lot, but reflecting back, it was very emotionally taxing with a lot of life sacrifices. when it comes to jobs, i don't know when to move on or when to stick through it.

[@viimapoika]

This video kind of sums up why I left religion. I felt like my world view was shrinking, thoughts were circling in a loop and all little joys made me sad afterwards because I thought they were never coming back.

[@majkenulvag4147]

Heidi your videos are so good!!! Thank you!!

[@yiravarga]

Did I give up on life, or did I acknowledge what isn’t working, and stopped trying to make futile things work? The extent of grief is usually overlooked. It’s been a year since I started grieving my strivings and efforts in life being thwarted (I was challenged too hard). I still feel I have a lot of grief to go. Maybe giving up is not always a bad thing in the right context.

[@sunnyadams5842]

I'm totally on the same page! I had to retreat from outside life to elude my father's punishing wrath and literally survive 😮. He also stole my car, stranding me miles out in the desert. I walk 16 Miles to backpack food. He Really DOESN'T CARE! BUT it was actually the best thing ever!! How ironic, Dad!! Your worst 'punishment' turned out to be the thing that let me see who and what you really are!! God does work in Weird, Weird wonderful ways 😂❤!!! I feel safe and self sufficient for the first time in my 55 years. I am healthier every day. I met Jesus. I am meeting myself. It was time to just STOP the struggle and figure out who I am without my creepy father shredding me every third day and wondering what the hell is wrong with me and being involved with the wrong partners searching for the love my narcissistic parents will never be able to fill me up with. Now I am becoming Love. You are too!! Isn't it great?! 😂

[@nicholasdocter4975]

My question is, how does one always define or know what reality is? For example, if one's partner says they're not happy with your actions, how do we know if by fulfilling their needs, we're getting closer to reality?

[@lindam7821]

This video came right on time!!❤

[@pmukherjee1237]

I love this! I dont want this thing that I wish so much I wanted ... :(

[@rezamorin-dayani8715]

Love your content. Unfortunately the audio is distorted on recent videos, possibly due to recording levels or your travel setup? Curious if it’s something you can filter out in post. I miss hearing you without wincing at distortion. I appreciate your work so I made it through but it was fatiguing and distracting. I may have to rip the audio to see if I can clean it for a second listen. 😅

[@NeverMindTheSnow]

I love your videos!

[@Summer-tk8yk]

This is so good! ❤

[@malikcherry]

Do you have a video about how to grieve? Thanks for your content!

[@zenthr]

I feel like I'm on my only card, but I feel playing it means just abandoning hope and authenticity the more I deal with it.

[@schoo9256]

I have made some time just now after my daily meditation to send you love and light, friend. I don't know if that's something you believe in, but it's what I've got to give and I hope you felt it. The way is within you, somewhere.

[@janeeyre3649]

These video's are so helpful, they impact me a lot and I share them with my friends. I also take notes in a booklet. I see them several times to engrain their messages in my brain. So, I'm very grateful to Heidi Priebe for everything she offers to her audience. I'm sure it can save lives. But... why are there so many cuts? It disturbs me. It's unquiet and I don't understand the use of this technique. I'm sure Heidi Priebe can speak very well for long periods. It's one of her talents. Maybe this hectic cutting is a modern marketing technique ? I would leave that aside. The quality of the content is good enough and doesn't need to be enhanced by artificiality. In fact, I believe it removes quality instead of adding any.

[@kateribarry]

Interesting! There's a similar question I've been asking myself the past year or so, it has a Christian spin on it. I ask myself "Is this sanctifying me, or is it saving me?" Meaning : Will I come out a better person on the other side of this because of the pain and sacrifice, or is this an indication to leave the situation?

[@floralpatriarch7782]

I have a similar experience that is not consciously religious but possibly rooted in it somewhere there. Sometimes I feel like life is endlessly throwing me challenges for growth. So much so that I have made myself a 'hero' in my mind because it's the only way I can step up and meet the endless stream of challenge. But when life is needlessly difficult, such as within my past relationship, I was often confused as to if this is another learning opportunity 'dished up by the Universe' or chaos and darkness that I was feeding because... I didn't know what else to do? An analogy might be a captain of war who used to fight for the freedom of his land and people but then looses sight of the goal and becomes overly preoccupied with senseless violence as the war carries on. I learnt a lot about myself in my last relationship but when I started to see how I was a victim of abuse rather than a victor (able to grow) that is when I had to leave it. It's hard not to see it as defeat when despite all the pain I learnt so much, part of me feels like there was more to learn, that the cruelty I endured was 'for my own good'. Why do I perceive that life mostly dishes out hard lessons but that it's always for your own good? It feels like internalised religious messaging. I think it's actually more accurate to say that you will grow no matter what (the love of 'God' or the spirit of nature insures this) and you can make it hard on yourself or you can make it easier. If I believed that life was easy and working out for me and I need not endure pain overly to find happiness, connection, satisfaction and growth would that not also be a self fulfilling prophecy ?

[@skabarella]

I don't know, I am very skeptical about that "there is only one truth, only one card" - that view makes life a "little" undercomplex. Chosing the "right" carreerpath is not about hitting the lottery with that one and only combination of numbers. Life has a habit of throwing stuff in your way and accepting reality also means to let go of the idea that there is only one truth, only one right choice. There are people who are jack of all trades and there are people that are one trick ponies. Than there might be life circumstances that make it impossible to change your carreer path and you just have to find a way to make it through with a job you don't hate but also don't love. There is much more to life circumstances (family, children to take care of, ... the area you life in, the type of education you were able to get) than your one truth. Nah, as much as I find your videos helpful for understanding and growing, I really think this is undercomplex and to simplified.

[@schoo9256]

Needed this

[@jmydn2]

hey Folks, Heidi 👋🏽 Could shrinking pain be caused by a WORK experience? or the JOB itself? The "going in circles" thing really stood out to me.

[@MrScoodles]

Look at self-determination theory's subtheory of autonomous vs controlled motivation

[@chisomoffor6877]

I’m bouncing between both of these pains

[@Politegirl686]

I am looking forward this 😅

[@melon1087]

what to do when none of your life circumstances nourishes you yet you cant find a way out?

[@Xloi63]

What if I want to be promiscuous, but I am likely a sex addict? I 'should' be maintaining sobriety, gaining progressive victory over lust, and rebuilding my life with my partner, but a large part of me wants to abandon that way of life and indulge in that pleasure, independence, and novelty. I know I am an avoidantly attached person, and that in the past, when I was much younger, I had wound up feeling disconnected and depressed after a long bout of being single. How can I ever properly differentiate what I *truly* want from what I am fighting so hard to do every day, what I would like to indulge in from what I 'should' be doing to build a life that is stable, that I am already invested in? It's very hard to trust one's one brain if you aren't in the habit of doing it.

[@adoteq_]

The problem I have, is that society doesnt accept it, when I use shrinking pain, to get to the core of myself, to start having growing pain.

[@MadAboutBrows]

This one's hard. I've been hooking up with a guy since January... I've fallen in love, and it's becoming clear that it's just s*x for him. I know what I have to do eventually...but for now it's still providing more positive than negative. I'm not sure how long that'll last though.

[@josmarodrigues]

Leave. The. Relationship. It won’t get better if it’s all about sex for him.

[@popqueen24x7]

i needed this : D

[@waynesmith4861]

Thank you