Helping Someone With Depression - Dr Julie

Subscribe to me @Dr Julie for more videos on mental health and psychology. #mentalhealth #depression #shorts
👇Links below for my new No.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
Amazon UK - amzn.to/33DZFgO
Audiobook UK - amzn.to/33cmsQA
Amazon USA - amzn.to/3qbo4Dp
Audiobook USA - amzn.to/3smyC2D
Other links - linktr.ee/drjuliesmith
Feel free to hit that SUBSCRIBE button for more videos!
📷 Instagram - / drjulie
🎥 TikTok - / drjuliesmith
🙋‍♀️ Facebook - / drjuliesmith
🐦 Twitter - / dr_julie_smith
🖥️ Website - www.doctorjuliesmith.com
📘 My No.1 Bestselling New Book Is Out Now 👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith
WHO AM I:
I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.

[@DrJulie]

Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for more videos on all areas of mental health. For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before? 👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

[@Me-mn4nw]

I think I finally pissed him off enough he's got to show me!

[@Me-mn4nw]

@@SARAda1ne Sweetheart, grow the heck up! While toughening up! What good does it do to sit around while saying "Oh,Woe IS Me"? It does not one bit of good while sending out negative energy! You attract what you are! If an adult, take responsibility for your own Damm Life! I've wiped butts and noses in my lifetime while shedding my share of tears! Do or die seems to be the only real options!

[@haviettelibertin8914]

As the actor Dick Van Dyke said, "You can't make another person happy, but you can pave the way for them to make themselves happy."

[@lostinwonderland6873]

This is so true, I'm going to screenshot this and save it, I need this from time to time,

[@haviettelibertin8914]

@@lostinwonderland6873 I know from experience this saying is true.

[@lostinwonderland6873]

@@haviettelibertin8914 I'm sorry, I've learned this the hard way too, 19 years to be exact trying. No one should ever have to feel this way, I hope your in a better place, happy and loved

[@seavista4810]

🔭🥂💯

[@bethpuch3254]

How!!?!

[@vickimcburney8977]

Sometimes it is comforting to have someone keep you company while you do things. Depression is isolating. Decisions become hard. When someone says "why don't you make us some tea, and after, we can tackle these dishes. " It is so comforting when someone just shows up. You don't want to do things for a person, but support is so important.

[@sofieblicher9308]

So is it alr if I go to my friend to talk about their feelings, or is taking that job on me?

[@DohMkay]

That is so true. I had severe depression. I didn't leave the house for three years. I got out of bed to just go to the bathroom. My mom would come in and out, worrying about me. But my dad just came in and said get the f up and do stuff, clean up your room or I will throw you out. This got me out of bed at least. Even tough love can help. I still struggle with depression. What really helps is life, having family. I have to do stuff. I cannot stay in bed and be depressed when I need to feed my children. I try to find happiness in small things. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but I try to test my limits. I take on more responsibilities, I try to do things I didn't think I would do. I went back to school, I have family now. I honestly didn't think I would live to see myself having all that I have now. I am very proud of myself. Be depressed, but also, be brave and proud of every little new step. Start small and move up. NEVER BE A VICTIM! BE A VICTOR! OUTLIVE YOUR ENEMIES! YOU CAN DO IT!

[@beefairy8620]

I try to hype up the little things people do, they’ll say “the only thing I did today was drink water” And my response is “Hey you drank water! That’s great! Staying hydrated is definitely worth being proud of”

[@Astrelynx]

Thank you, this is probably something that’ll really help me. But I have a question, how do you keep YOURSELF from being crushed down by the burden of other people’s mental health?

[@anusreep3768]

Thank you so much for asking this. Dear God I have been dying to know

[@j.t.s8618]

You've got to see it from another perspective. You're not the one with mental illness so you've got to keep YOURSELF in your own lane meaning to stay completely focused on your own projects in life. If the person lives with you then escape their mindset by focusing on your own. Do things at home that keeps your mind positively occupied. By doing so, what that does for a mentally ill person is - improves their independence and supports a positive mindset. You may not see that but it does in silence. They are most definitely not stupid but rather extremely intelligent! They can sense how you feel before you walk through the door so make it happy for yourself and them by focusing on your own projects on life. Hope that helps.

[@softpaluwu9124]

Ikr? I have to try and deal with both and I've been dying over here

[@shahanaparveen2413]

need to know this

[@OA2605]

you have to realise that it is not your responsibility. You can help them to some extent but at the end of the day, you got you, your problems and you are not responsible for everything in the world

[@osamabinaqil5917]

I believe I caused this for my friend, I tried looking out for them being there for them, but they have recently started to admit they are somewhat dependant on me. I'd love to be there for them till the end of time but i want them to be there for themself. So that they too are proud of their success as I am.

[@Tactical_Equine_Attack_Unit]

Also: when it's getting too much for you, don't force yourself to keep helping above your limit.

[@beahappy1today]

Yes! This is absolutely true. Well said. There is a difference between an hand up and a hand out. I have a person in my life who can’t function as an adult because they have been de-skilled since childhood. The parents are incredibly kind people and well meaning. There definitely has been a lot of stepping in and doing things for people that they can do for themselves, and need to do for themselves. There’s nothing wrong with helping people when they truly need it. The pervasiveness and over-helping can become a vice.

[@lostinwonderland6873]

I suffer from depression, one thing that helps me is to help others, by encouraging them, checking in on them even if they don't answer but they know I checked in to make sure they are okay, my therapist said it's because I know how it feels and I don't want anyone to feel the same way, she out it as I'm to someone else what I wish I had in my life.

[@OA2605]

I wish I had found this video a year ago, i could have saved myself from burdening myself up with all the responsibilities in my relationship when i tried to become a rescuer

[@rogvttr2188]

Yooo it's the same for me too

[@amdl270]

I can see how this applies to many people in many situations. I personally would love if someone took some weight off my shoulders and was a rescuer for just a week or so. That would give me room to breathe

[@dmiramontes22]

I understand. 👍

[@starababa1985]

The more I helped my friend, the harder she leaned. When I just couldn't do it anymore from exhaustion, she became indignant, dropped me as a friend and switched to other people for support. If you're too helpful and understanding, they'll never improve and just settle in as the coddled child, because it's easier. I learned a valuable lesson the hard way.

[@starhealer3635]

I wish I had some form of a support network. Being alone and dealing with depression and anxiety is so hard.

[@QuantaRay8]

I feel you. It's hard but it's possible. You got this buddy. Wishing you a healthy life💜.

[@douniaaitmoussa2876]

Same as you are..but you are strong enough

[@plasticnylon9165]

Understand ...

[@Mushroom321-]

Yes, we have to practice sharing our feelings w/ people who are close to us.

[@afhearn5976]

This makes me feel soo much better. My daughter has bad depression and it almost stops her dead in her tracks. So I try to combat that with helping her just make her bed. It makes her feel good. And then I work on her room and try to get her to engage with me and put things away. Sometimes it works and sometimes not. But when she does make the shift to take a step. It's amazing what I learn from her.

[@isabellrc]

Very True. I’m more engaged in my journey with depression/panic when I have to face as many responsibilities that I can!

[@sophiewroteacomment]

This is so important! My husband did this for years, because he loves me and wanted to help me. My therapist helped us slowly discover this wicked mechanism by ourselves and we were able to fix it. Took us a long time though. We are very thankful for her guidance!

[@michellemich9745]

How do you tell someone they need therapy without making them feel bad?

[@digitalfortress1786]

Talk it out and bring it up..just don't push them..

[@nolongerjuicyboiz4413]

It's difficult to answer, because it really depends on the context, so just speaking from personal experience, it's best to contact them via text because it puts less pressure on both you and them, just be as honest as you can, say why it is your recommending it, open up a bit yourself if you can because that can prompt them to open up (you don't have to though if you'd rather not), and for someone who is very depressed or scared of therapy, it can help if you give them a recommendation for a specific therapist, or just offer to help them find one - because the amount of choice can be overwhelming especially for someone who is already indecisive, and therapy can be daunting so it helps if someone is supporting you in the process of actually committing to going to a therapist.

[@diana4043]

More tips. How to help your adult child with depression. 💕

[@douniaaitmoussa2876]

Be careful about your voice tone and words...be selective as much as possible...show your child love but never letting your child feeling that sort of sympathy you have for him her cz they are going through such a situation..however try to emphasise their own strength and let her focus on how how good they are

[@friedchicken3242]

If you live with them, just make sure they’re following a basic routine and tell them if they fall out of it. Stay calm and don’t be rude or arrogant about it and definitely don’t order them around just use kind nudging and encouragement. My depression worsens when I fall out of basic hygiene/eat/sleep/brush teeth/etc routines, sticking to a routine helps manage it a lot.

[@yaba4646]

Exact situation with my friend. She's got a lot going on, deteriorating relationship with her mother, toxic romantic relationship and everyone seems to always bother her. Whenever she comes to me for comfort, I would only comfort her, when she comes to me because she's confused, I try to build a solution with her. Honestly, I just wanna spoil her sometimes, hug her and tell her I'm always with her no matter what.

[@iamsecryt]

Thank you, I have a situation like this, the hard part is them finding the energy to help themselves

[@rashika3219]

Thank you maybe this is what I needed to listen rn

[@ang5798]

Best tip I've heard so far. This is exactly where many parents come from when their children are struggling and their reaction is not so good.. they don't have the words to say it clearly, and they don't manage it properly, but this is exactly where they are coming from.

[@jenifarnasrin2950]

please continue with these series of coping with depression.. its helping me i love you❤️

[@DrJulie]

Thank you!

[@stacey738]

I was told this by a friend when i had my daughter. "Don't do anything for someone that they can do for themselves". Great advice for how to treat old people and kids. Obviously helping others out in general is nice but life-skills wise i try to let my daughter practice what she can do.

[@novemberdaydreamer]

This made me realize something about myself and why my confidence plummeted some time ago

[@solobavarianswiss]

This is why I’m learning to develop more patience and understanding of myself first

[@jakebugeja4573]

reliable advice in my opinion: get enough sleep, don't think too much but be mindful at the same time, and most importantly, cultivate something. Working hard on something may seem counterproductive when dealing with the mental and physical fatigue of depression, but the worst feeling which is the cause and result of depression is the feeling of uselessness. When you reach your current limit and fail, slow it down and keep increasing that limit. Build that responsibility back up and then go even further.

[@Hades_Eclipse]

I once helped a girl with depression. Then she broke up with me and i have depression. How great right?

[@douniaaitmoussa2876]

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh what a pity

[@digitalfortress1786]

But you're Hades, you're not meant for it, you're more of a sadist..

[@mezagarner4427]

I’m guilty of being the rescuer it’s a very fine line for me

[@curtdare8129]

As someone with depression I can vouch for her accuracy.

[@lostinalgeria8492]

Justement, There thousand of web pages, articles and videos that deal with mental health, but very few talk about the relative, family and friends that are around: what can we do, how should we behave, etc. One of my relatives has mental health, and it gets really hard for me. I feel so down because of it, and soooo helpless 💔 I wish you'd talk more about this

[@pmerancier]

It is the complete opposite for me , I lack support at home and at work.

[@bb-ss6ts]

Same here😢

[@Insomnichuman]

Thank you so much my best friend I have had for my whole life got diagnosed with depression a couple days ago like I new she had it for a while now but this helps so much thank you❤️

[@Idk-eu1yi]

That's really true because they will feel as if they need somebody to do everything for them so it will disempower their confidence, help them nurture daily tasks like a guide or something so they can feel confident about every little thing. I have dealt with mental abuse and still dealing with it but what I noticed is when you have someone who can understand and give you confidence, then you will have the power to know on how beautiful life is and how little things can make a difference overtime.

[@saraswatkin9226]

True and when they improve they turn on you!!!

[@elizabetha.1171]

This has been a very hard thing to learn and boundary to define with my husband a veteran with PTSD and mTBI, I really needed to hear this I'm trying to define what he needs help with and what he can lead on, I'd love a video on best ways to support thanks💛

[@shagnikguha540]

It's important to walk the road to improvement yourself than let someone walk it for you.

[@robertparker6338]

Watch and listen. Be there and if they are not OK then you might need to help them get help.

[@l0stb01]

Thank you for this, a few weeks ago my best friend attempted suicide, they survived and are out of the hospital, but it's been really hard, and I want to help them as much as I can but I don't know how because they always act so fine that it's almost impossible to tell how much they are struggling, I had no idea they were even near that point of suicide until they told me what happened about a week later, and then keeps randomly talking about these things they do like it's no big deal, but it's just so awful to see them happy and know that it's probably a lie, that when they get back home their going to steal their parents alcohol again and get drunk to deal with it, and on bad days cut themselves, and not tell anyone or reach out for help, it's awful, I want to help them but they make it so difficult and I don't know what to do, thank you for content like this trying to help with these predicaments, I really appreciate it

[@Isa-tn7ex]

My friend does this for me. She’s also falling apart because of all the work she has on her shoulders. I told her to stop helping me but she seems to think helping is simply what a friend does.

[@reveoncelink6133]

Thank you! I admire you for your skills and thoughts. I'm 17 and I'm very much fascinated by the ways you or any psychologist or psychiatrist does their things. I love to help people and support them! Thank you for making a channel and doing this 👏🏻❤️

[@violentviolet1404]

Could you do a video about how to talk to your doctor about your depression, it would definitely help me and probably lots of others too.

[@dbower2164]

I'm 15 years old around and 3 years ago a friend who I am close in age and who I've known for really long time opened up to me about many things about her gender, sexuality, religion, and home life. She was going through so many changes at just around 11 to 12. She was feeling so many emotions and they couldn't go to a therapist so they came to me. I couldn't relate on many of the things but I gave her advice, I was there for a shoulder for her to cry on, for her to call me late at night while crying saying so many terrible things about herself, what she hated, she wished that she could just end everything. I had to listen because "no one else would" and so many nights of us crying on the phone. This continued for 3 years, but these last couple months we haven't been able to see each other and I realized that the distance apart has made me more happy. I realized how much her life was affecting my life and affecting my emotions and me having to be a therapist at 12 years old. My friend affected me in many ways. It affected me and how I thought about myself, my education, my eating habits, my emotions and how I was able to feel, what I was worthy to feel. I felt like I was invalid my emotions were invalid because my life was easier than hers in this moment, and I felt like I couldn't be real with her. It was a one sided relationship I had to tiptoe around her and be fragile all the time. She has gotten a lot better. I finally decided that I should talk to her about it and we decided that we will still continue to be friends but distance ourselves and not talk about anything negative and be strict on that at least for a long time. Maybe when we can get even closer when we're more older and mature but for now we'll just stay distant friends. I hope this may help some people realize a similar relationship they have. I have learned many life lessons.

[@ItsAsparageese]

You are wise beyond your years. As someone who also had to support others more than I should have at a young age, I wish I'd developed self-awareness and healthy boundaries much, much, MUCH earlier than I did (I only got to your level of good practices and boundary communication when I was about twice the age you are now lol). Props for your excellent support of your friend, your excellent recognition of the effect it had on you, your excellent implementation of ways to safely moderate the relationship, and your honorable willingness to share your experience so others can learn from your insight. It is so frickin' cool how psycholiteracy has become a cultural norm since the internet has taken over the world. The generational shift in mental health awareness and discourse has been mind-blowing. Good job humanity! Cookies for everyone!

[@tassiedwevil1120]

lmao just realised my friend is the rescuer and there was a stage where i couldn’t deal with my depression unless she was there but i got thru it but even now i need her a lot of the time

[@sarah98345]

I wish I saw this when my friend had depression. She's better now, but this would've been very helpful in the past. Thank you for this

[@torgostheme]

This would be more helpful with an example.

[@prernabakhtar6200]

Exactly few examples in fact😶

[@moonhunter9993]

yeah, way too vague

[@ZoellaFischerVA]

For these examples i'll be sharing, I'll be calling the depressed person, John. Helping John by cleaning his house may be not helpful if he already had the good habit of keeping his place clean. If you take this task away from him, he feels like he has nothing to do; then his depression will tell him he is therefore useless. However, there are still other ways to help John. For example, John doesn't like interacting with strangers outside, so doing grocery shopping is a stressful experience for him. His mind also gets foggy so he has been getting more forgetful. That's an area he has told you that he needs help with. Thus, you can assist him by accompanying him on his shopping trips and assisting him with remembering what foods to buy and/or talking to the cashier/shopkeeper for him IF he needs. TLDR: Help your depressed friend to help themselves

[@moonhunter9993]

@@ZoellaFischerVA still think this is bs. You can clean his house WITH him. Then he isn't so lonely and doesn't feel so overwhelmed. Same with the shopping. Keep him company and encourage him, do things WITH him, not FOR him. He doesn't clean his house because he doesn't have the energy, not because he doesn't want to, so you can share the task on occasion until his house becomes more manageable again.

[@moonhunter9993]

@@ZoellaFischerVA No! Doing things FOR people is always wrong. You don't understand enabling at all...

[@itsnoelletoo.1422]

Thank you. You are correct.

[@martinafredriksson9392]

This is so true! I have done that, helped somebode, felt really good. And then had to face the consequences when i decided to stop.

[@addyclaire4349]

My brother is struggling with depression and I hardly ever see and talk to him so I live watching you videos to help me help him and be able to see and talk to him again

[@Idhedoj]

Incredibly nuanced and important

[@jaisonstanley]

Well said, that depression can eventually affect you while the latter gets healed.

[@mn-gg2sm]

Wish I heard this 22 years ago. The things I've missed out with my children have left a big hole in my heart. I couldn't take them to school go shopping with them I didn't have any family or friends when they were young. I feel endlessly sad.

[@imgonnacommitarson6632]

I love watching these types of things idk why

[@meowbanana9305]

Last year when I had depression, my best friend tried to taking care of me but it gave her a trauma because I was that fragile and that was affected her mental health :( she's get traumatized to handle mental breakdown people right now. I feel bad for causing her that even I have no intention to make her feel that

[@cazwilson7366]

Do not blame yourself even though it's easier said than done.

[@user-ng6kn9zd3g]

Same thing happens to me recently, but I'm the one trying to help...and I need treatment myself actually. In the end I screw up everything and she blocked me. Recently she started texting me back but I'm too scared tht I might accidentally hurt her again. I still love her as my friend tho. I hope for every happiness in this world for her. So, you don't need to blame urself. Ur friend help u because u meant so much to them. And they are the one who decided to help. I'm sure they want u to be happy, not overthinking about them and live in guilt. You can help them by trying to put effort in your own mental health. If u are in a good condition, I'm sure they will be happy for u. But still don't try to fake happiness in front of them. I'm sure your friend really hope tht u can find true happiness.

[@meowbanana9305]

@@user-ng6kn9zd3g thank you for doing your best for your friend. My best friend had decided to leave me but then we got back together again because I reached her out first. But right now she ghosted me again because I have some kind of mental breakdown because lately I broke up with my lover.. And maybe she's just avoiding me on my worst condition, so it doesn't affected her mental health anymore. But I hope the best for her too, I hope she's happy right now. And I hope you and your friend are both happy too

[@user-ng6kn9zd3g]

@@meowbanana9305 hearing from ur side meant so much to me. now I kind of understand my friend's feeling. Maybe I should try to slow talk with her and not just ghosting. I hope the best for you even if ur friend is not by ur side anymore. I believe that u are stronger than u think and capable to walk on ur own. Maybe no need to wait for her anymore and focus more on urself.

[@nathanjackson5859]

You`re still a champion.

[@InactiveAccount.0]

I’m not the one to help with depression, i’m the one with depression and needing someone.

[@user-wc6ku9dr7l]

Thanks so much Dr Julie!❤❤❤

[@troublesomethree8656]

If only I’d known this in 5th grade. My best friend had depression and was always sad and had suicidal thoughts and thought bad about herself. She would always get angry and snap at me for no reason and blame me for things I didn’t do (“you made me cry because you weren’t supportive enough” etc.) when I was trying my hardest. When she did those mean things I’m really ashamed to say I got mad at her too, and thought it was HER fault for starting the fights. Maybe it was mine for not understanding what she was going through?

[@philleshabradford8994]

My bf is my always encouraging me to do little things and take on small things or small task like taking a shower or going outside to get fresh air. I’ve been battling depression since 2018 and I was able to get help and manage it then I lost my only son in 2019 and lost 1/3 of my everything on top of that I just lost my dad on 4/19/2022.

[@mahmoudraslan7622]

YES!!!!! THANK GOD SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT!!!!💜💜💜💜

[@simondumoulin2254]

I am currently suffering from depression. I am 59 years old. I was diagnosed last year with prostatic intraductal adenocarcinoma high-grade. I am stage 4 metastatic. I have the type of cancer that is the most aggressive and the most resistant to treatment. My prognostic is 2 to 4 years. I have a fantastic supportive wife, family and co-workers. Even with all of that, I have yet to accept my lot. I wake up every morning to a nightmare. I try to stay busy and I avoid showing my emotions to everyone except for my psychiatrist. I am currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. His musings have provided me with much comfort. The last thing I want to hear people say are things like: "stay positive!" or "you can beat this!" I agree with what you said. Late

[@koubrazakaria4508]

That is so true, I relate so much! I don’t need you to do my tasks for me (it makes me feel weak and needy), just be present.

[@kyleg2294]

great timing, my friend told me he got depression and is taking meds. I just stood by him and encouraged him to do a couple things but told him that it's ok whatever he ends up doing and I will be here when he needs anything. I never know how to handle this situation honestly. Good thing he is a lot better now actually and is kinda thriving out here

[@Mushroom321-]

Right!!!!, GREAT point out!! 😊😮😮👏👏👏

[@hexodyia]

I fell into this trap before, as the "rescuer." It's not good for either of us. I'm struggling to deal with myself *and* them and I'm not sure what to do to help them not rely on me completely.

[@194287689]

U are someone who is living psychology... Much love 😍

[@somethingsomethingsomethingg]

Something to include in school curriculum.. how to help yourself through mental health crisis and how to help your loved ones through a mental health crisis.

[@dekoder8846]

I'm really thankful that you are making your videos. This one is very helpful for me

[@user-yz7gk7fl1e]

Wow! Such a great tip! Thank you. SO TRUE!

[@jordanbeckwith9989]

thank you Dr Julie 😊

[@ambervantassel3816]

As someone who had depression at 11 this is helpful

[@bsbawa10]

love you for what you are doing

[@JessmanChicken86]

"Oh excuse me, I was just grabbing tea. Let me put this mug down."

[@alicial4857]

Thanks! This will help me help myself with depression.

[@sonjakrsmanovic4470]

That’s true . Thank you ❤️❤️♥️♥️

[@msomair7147]

Love the background music so much , speciallynthe ending.. its almost therapeutic

[@yumeizz]

So that’s why I’m depressed-

[@k.o4178]

My sister almost cried everyday 2 month ago, She actually felling better now.

[@maria3459]

Thank you so much for tour advice 🙏🍀

[@djjohnson502]

I love this woman❤!!

[@kiticatcookie9913]

Thank you, I needed this🙂

[@nazareth374]

Good day ma'am being one of your follower I consider myself as totally heal from depression as I apply all your concerns And advice godbless

[@sandhyachavali]

You are helping me one small step at a time , your quick bits are so helpful 🙏🏼 thank you

[@milarosenrot]

My bf didn’t know how to help me and didn’t know what to say, but he has been so patient, listening to my fears, sweet and never getting angry that itself it’s making me climbing out of this hole.

[@anothercat9600]

Thank you, very valuable!

[@tresnadewi9940]

thank you. this is informative for me

[@Rahulkumar-py7kc]

Thank you ❤️

[@ItsMeValentinaa]

Honestly subscribing to ur channel was the best thing I've ever done

[@unrulycrow6299]

Back in 2015, during my first severe case of autistic burnout (which led to me getting diagnosed), I expressedly asked my best friend to NOT burden herself with the task if trying to rescue me from myself. I didn't want to accidentally pull her down with me over time.

[@danimoore4849]

It's when people encourage us to do somthing we're scared to do that we feel better. It's when people do everything for us that we feel like they think we're just a helpless person

[@veronicasanchez2350]

This is great advice! I never saw it from this point of view

[@SharpPear]

Good point!

[@muhammadabubakar2914]

You are very helpful to me as I feel better listening to your kind advices thanks and keep it up 😊

[@minervaloves]

Wow 😮 mind blown 🤯

[@2ndpartycrasher954]

Right. Don't do the work for them. Help them do the work.

[@richardsmith748]

True talk.

[@aubreysnyder338]

I had to step away from my mom for this reason. I'm 29 and she's 59. She puts on me way too much that the role of the parent. but then when I speak of things that are uncomfortable to her, I'm reminded that I'm the child. She kept telling me I needed to forgive her because it wasn't her fault that she was sick when I was young. Granted that may be true, but here we are almost 30 years later and she's hung up on that. I'm trying to construct a letter to encourage herself to actually forgive herself and others around her, so she can actually move on with life.

[@sojapresh794]

Thank you 🙏

[@toldja472]

Thank you.