Henry Rollins on Telemarketers.

Safe to say I had myself a good laugh. Gotta love Rollins!
This section was taken from the shock and awe DVD. I'm sure you can find it on amazon!

[@SiiriCressey]

I used to be a telemarketer. 1 -- Everything he says about what it's like to be the telemarketer is 100% true. 2 -- I relished calls like that. Anything to break the tedium.

[@joshuadull4192]

I was a telemarketer once too and I agree. I’d rather this than, “not interested” any day

[@SiiriCressey]

@@joshuadull4192 Definitely better than being insulted + yelled at, too.

[@KonElKent]

Fall of '04, it was my first term in college, and I was hawking magazine subscriptions. The people we called were fun, but the co-workers; well... I'm gonna get stories from that for the rest of my life.

[@SiiriCressey]

@@KonElKent Superbly classy individuals?

[@sydbarrett5]

And then Glenn Danzig walks in the room and demands to know who Henry was talking to.

[@crowramone1576]

Best comment ever

[@MurphysJif]

Rollins is right. I had to do that job once. Judge me if you will but I like having food in my mouth. I had an automated machine that dialed numbers for me. Cause the truth is after ONE horrible phone call in a job where I can only apologize and continue, you don't want to dial the number for a while yet BLEEP the machine has already called another poor souls home. 6 rubbish calls in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 5 minutes in and I want to jump off a cliff yet there is 1 hour and 55 minutes til next break. But every now and then you get that elusive person who is hilarious. If you act like Rollins towards one of those telemarketers. You would have made their day so much more interesting.

[@gregdahlen4375]

Murphy NZ thank god in the states we have the Do Not Call list

[@walkingweapon]

+Greg Dahlen If there's a god and he created the do not call list, I'd make fun of him for being impotent. (The list doesn't stop them.)

[@gregdahlen4375]

Nick M report their asses, you'll get 'em stopped

[@aspie182]

Where I live, if you are on a Do Not Call List and they call you anyway, they get fined thousands of dollars per call. Not sure how it works in America, but I have found that when I say "I am on the do not call list, and I will be reporting this call to them as soon as I hang up", they cannot terminate the call quickly enough.

[@A1Authority]

Yeah, but if you end up on a list sometime, merely because you made one inquiry, you start losing a nice attitude about it. 6 years ago, I once did like 15 minutes of online investigating, pricing insurance for whatever, and ended up on a list, and received calls ever since. There is no blocking it, because the list is one, obviously, sold to whomever, whenever, and the incoming number is never the same. It's nothing short of harassment, and the 'marketer' is collateral damage. But face it, strange incoming calls with only cold call sales involved is low rung, shite. Unwanted,unsolicited noise. That's the way it is. Nobody wants to shake the porter's hand.

[@Turtleproof]

3:30 "D- do you work out?" *Producer jump cuts to fat greasy guy.

[@newnirvanafan929]

Turtleproof he looked like an obese kirk hammet

[@tengericsillag7865]

Most people from the audience're fat, so it could be random.

[@brucemoeller]

Is it because the fat greasy guy offends you? Maybe he is also Pete, and worked as a telemarketer.

[@comeclarityy]

"pete, pete..it's henry"

[@CletusandWalter]

Henry reminds me of a long lost brother of Jim Carrey

[@WeeNat313]

He does look like him.

[@optimusprime2008]

As soon as he asked, "Do you work out?" I knew where this was going lol

[@jamesdick2580]

judging by the way the audience laughed when he said that, i think they did as well. LOL

[@mez1515]

Judging by the two dislikes, Hi Pete. Hi L.A. Times.

[@MoistCrumpet]

I worked as a telemarketer for a month one time. It was horrible. I was making outbound calls to the public selling them raffle tickets for the RSPCA. As bad as the job was I got one guy who was so hilarious. I asked him if he had any pets, and he was like “No but my wife is an animal in bed”. So if you get a call from a telemarketer, don’t be mean to them or anything, but just mess with them a bit in a good way. Trust me, as long as they have a sense of humour they will find it hilarious. Like this guy does. If I called a person like that I would find it hilarious.

[@kanped]

Yep, done that job; cold calling sales. I can say; we LOVE calls like this. People screwing about with us and having a good time really breaks up the soul crushing mundaneness that is working in a call centre.

[@SpiralDream]

This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time

[@datdereduck]

I remember when Henry started his spoken word shows, people were like "what a Henry Rollins show with no music? WTF?" He would play the smallest venues and they would be nearly empty. Never would imagine he would pack theaters this size with his stories.

[@PizzaShrimp]

that feeling when im a rollins fan and a telemarketer.

[@mitchcoughlin8335]

I never forget one time I was polite, the telemarketer was so relieved and even thanked me...

[@ianmckay618]

I will always give a telemarketer a polite “no thank you”. Scam calls on the other hand …. that is why I keep a referee whistle near the phone.

[@jamesdick2580]

another hilarious way to mess with scam callers is when they ask for your phone number or address: give them the address or phone number of your local police or sheriff's department. or if you REALLY wanna mess with them....the phone number or address of your nearest FBI agency.

[@damienholland8103]

I am never mean to telemarketers and cold callers because I know their job is much harder than mine and that's even if what they're doing is illegal -- my phone identifies them as fraud or marketing before I even answer it, anyway, and the first call is more likely to be from a computer these days.

[@davis0730]

I did that job in New York for about a year I sadly was never blessed with somebody that funny on the other end of the line

[@cambs0181]

Backfires when Pete is at your door in the morning!

[@mflance7197]

Now that’s a comedy classic

[@MalakianM2S]

The most gentle thing you can do is to end the call as quick as possible, nobody waste time.

[@chrispile3878]

But they don't deserve gentle. They deserve brutal.

[@MalakianM2S]

@@chrispile3878 Ppl that have to take such jobs have already enough in their plates, maybe it's just me, but it's not cool to beat an already dead horse. Want to change things? ask for a legislative change regarding cold calling.

[@chrispile3878]

@@MalakianM2S It's already illegal in most states, and yet they call anyway. The persons in charge of the operation (not the callers) should be hunted down, killed, and fed to wild animals. What they do is literal harassment and fraud on a massive scale.

[@chrispile3878]

@@MalakianM2S There are already laws on the books. These people are in other countries, and they don't care about our laws.

[@chrispile3878]

@DomainPictures-wq5xm - YOU BET!

[@judysites2148]

Tried to do the job once....lasted til first break. I can't figure out some people....after my dad died, they'd call, ask for him, and not even pause a second when told he was dead. "Well, then, you'll be interested in this offer...." Unbelievable! I should have done the Henry thing, lmao. Maybe that would've shut 'em up.

[@JIMJAMSC]

Act excited , interested and ask them to hold so you can get your wallet then put the phone down and walk away. My record is around 15 minutes with the tele/Indian guy still holding.

[@tommyc322]

+JIMJAMSC you're doing him a favor. Free 15 minutes break.

[@kristywalker1500]

This always makes me laugh.

[@IbanezPlayer124]

1:21 dat DevilDriver shirt.

[@Iruth27]

Did you know that Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria? What's even more outstanding is their national flag, which is 3 horizontal stripes that have the following colors: white, red and green. In 1912 Bulgaria took part in the First Balkan War in which a coalition formed between Bulgaria, Serbia, Montenegro and Greece fought the Ottoman Empire for territorial gains and the independence of, the then non-existent, Free State of Albania. However Bulgaria was dissatisfied with its territorial gains and

[@Omnihil777]

My favourite answer to telemarketers were: "Sorry, I cannot possibly do womething with your magazine (or whatever stuff they're selling), I'm deaf-blind, sorry." Or what works too: "Sorry, I have to begin a very long prison sentence on monday, maybe you could call me back in seven to ten years (insert nervous giggle, but stay absolutely serious the same time)"

[@KlausKokholmPetersen]

I just yell NO repeatedly until they hang up. I really should make more of an effort.....

[@dispensethecredulous3634]

Shit, I would of had Rollins locked up on a 1 yr subscription and got his lame ass to pay in full up front then and there, 1 call close and all he would be saying to me is "thank you" . 3 minutes , done deal, on to the next call.

[@patrickmccutcheon8860]

I feel sorry for telemarketers, so I try and give them an interesting conversation as well. If they ask for my name I tell them I'm some dead singer like Freddy Fender or something and I go from there.

[@wezzuh2482]

One week left of my job as a telemarketer. God i can't wait to leave that fucking bullshit.

[@aspie182]

I do not know what the US equivalent is, but in Asstralia, they have what they call the Do Not Call List. You add your name to it, and if telemarketers call you ever again from thirty days after you register, they get fined up the wazoo. I put myself on the list last year and I have not heard a peep out of them since. I cannot say enough nice things about the people who maintain the Do Not Call List. It is like they know that when you purchase a service and product like a phone, be it landline or mobile, you are the one who ought to have discretion over how you use it. Imagine that.

[@bakedveal2624]

We have it but it means nothing. And like 90% "telemarketing" calls we receive nowadays are indian tech support scammers that really want Itunes gift cards for some reason.

[@MoistCrumpet]

aspie182 I worked in an Australian outbound call centre and almost all of the people I called claimed to have been put on the do not call list before. The list is real and you have to put people on it if they ask you to, but it still gets ignored.

[@RCHeath]

Brilliant

[@TimQueenan]

It's right now Sunday night around 8 PM...

[@JBonesxa]

I did telemarketing for a week when l was a teenager. I think it was my first job ever. I was lousy at it and don’t think l sold anything. (I am a pretty introverted and non engaging person). My boss says to me on payday at the end of the week: well l can’t pay you this week, not until some time later. But, l can fire you, at that way you can be paid now. I said: fire me then.

[@stephennettles5151]

I had one of those scam telemarketers call one time pretending to be Microsoft Tech Support, saying they wanted to do a remote takeover of my computer to resolve some malware issues I was having. I kept them on the line and talking while I pulled up Projekt Misanthropia -- an "experimental" album consisting of screaming mental patients and industrial machine noise -- and I put the phone on speaker, set it front of my computer speaker, and blasted the guy with it. He called back a few minutes later cussing me out. I just laughed hysterically.

[@Iruth27]

Retook an offensive, this time against its previous Balkan allies for more territorial gains, namely Macedonia and a strip of Greece which was mainly inhabited by Bulgarians. However the Ottoman Empire re-entered the war, this time on the side of the Balkan league and even the Kingdom of Romania, which had untill then remained neutral, entered the war for its possible territorial gains. On these grounds Bulgaria was defeated and the Kingdom of Romania took the province of the Cardilater and then

[@jamesdick2580]

aaaannnnd.....what exactly does that have to do with Henry's story of messing with a telemarketer?

[@chrispile3878]

@@jamesdick2580 Most telemarkers / scammers are based in Macedonia or Romania.

[@musicandpoetry_8]

The days of having a landline

[@Mockingbird-22]

Henry is my spirit animal

[@sumtingwong8592]

Ant true salesman has thick skin and doesnt take it personally. They don't want your service, simple as that.

[@ThomasTeeple]

God that was beautiful

[@javis88h]

My cousin was a telemarketer the numbers are all random and lucky for me he got my number.

[@biggerthanmost8763]

I just look at the hundreds of thousands of people who do that for a living and chuckle, happy I didn't share their fate : )

[@kevinc9006]

Actually Henry,. Most work from home now👍 my wife did it part time for Best Buy

[@DrummerFromFife]

I just got called by a telemarketer, and I was really tempted to do this to her

[@billybees3796]

No you haven't seen this discussion yet,the man wears the same blue dockers and black fruit of the loom size medium shirt.

[@MyEnemyProjects]

This reminds me of the time I quit my telemarketing job. I forgot why.

[@chrstwrg]

lol So fucked up .

[@Cazlab]

I worked as a telemarketer for almost a year. Shittiest job ever. But I didn't know better (it was my first real job.) But if I got unemployed now, I'd rather stay that way than go back to selling crap over the phone that nobody wants.

[@johnmoorfoot2497]

To Mr Skybeam Nugget, lighten up man it's just ART for fucks sake.

[@maalbe987]

And then job requests for telemarketers in Henry's area skyrocketed.

[@christopherholmes9513]

Watching this on my phone only to have Henry rudely interrupted midsentence by a clown trying to sell me DUCK CLEANING

[@franzb69]

here's the thing, you had the choice to find a job and the one job you chose you get into is telemarketing? seriously? specially in a country like yours with higher employment rates? i live in a third world and i would never EVER choose a telemarketing job. i mean you have much more choice in your country, you can do so many other jobs, but man, telemarketing? just don't take the job and find something else you can do.

[@icbm777]

@Amremorse that is hilarious , I've got to try something similar next time these Aholes call.

[@felixthelmocevallosmorales41]

HENRY ROLLINS 13 DE FEBRERO DE 1961 61 AÑOS (62) BLACK FLAG.

[@petyrbaelish1864]

I, too, will be sending you a comment. Pete.

[@dumpstercub2902]

I'd love to fuck with people like this but once I got a phone call from a very angry woman saying I had somehow wronged her and I almost cried.

[@alejskates2287]

What if Pete sees this vid?

[@bauhnguefyische667]

Hello, is Pete at work today? I wanna talk to him, just him!🤣

[@z3r0Projects]

Good for you! It took me 10 years to come to the same conclusion...

[@DrummerFromFife]

I'm like Henry, I don't badmouth telemarketers, I just dick with them for a bit. If they call, I pretend to act interested, and when they ask if I'm the head of the household/bill payer, I tell them to hold for a second. I simply put the phone down, without hanging up, and carry on with what I'm doing for like 10-15 minutes or so. If I feel like picking up and talking again, and they're still there, I just say I'm having trouble finding the head of the house, and I'll have to get back to them

[@empath69]

And yeah, I just mean that call cntr management didn't give a crap about the content of the call, or even if he sold a subscription, but that he spent too long trying to make that sale when he could have spent that time making several other sales.

[@Kdhdhrvt]

Lmao 😂😂😂

[@RetiredRhetoricalWarhorse]

I feel like that camera at 3:34 was kinda mean... quite on point but mean :D.

[@omgz1one]

i loved when people did this. meant i could chat or do my college work without distraction.

[@WeeNat313]

This was so uncomfortable.

[@malytoto76]

zajebiste!!!!!that was awesome!!!!!

[@omenscreamingraven3956]

Question is what if he wants to cuddle after then what ?

[@beatmasterbossy]

Pete didn't call back because he came too

[@johanedenhoffner7720]

omg omg lol lmfao im in tears laughing

[@Iruth27]

Challange Accepted! :D

[@chrissyfox8712]

Ahahahahaha

[@janebattams6607]

I lasted one day in telemarketing. Was selling "AAA Limited" to Melbourne companies so they were the first company alphabetically in that category in the Yellow Pages.

[@DrummerFromFife]

Lord knows. Dunno what's so spammy about my experience with telemarketers

[@Qrayon]

Great technique. Once a young lady called from across the country to sell me something. So I asked her, "Where do you live? What time do you get off work? I'm coming over!" She started to sound scared, and I never heard from her again. Another time I got a call from a young woman in India. By the time I got thru with her, she wanted me to come to India so she could meet me. Can you hear the wedding bells chime?

[@FungusMossGnosis]

Henry Rollins is every bit as talented at standup as he is at acting. Not much. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of his first band and his storytelling, but those are strengths he should have honed, not to be an adventurer looking for new amusements he's bad at. Reminds me of when Michael Jordan turned away from basketball to be a baseballer and golfer. Or when Mickey Rourke stopped acting to get his face destroyed boxing.

[@pedinoway2]

yeah man, i worked there only 1 day and i quit after the first day. the people that work there are the worst people in the world and you deserve to hate they get. you gotta have no soul if you want to work there.

[@tmage23]

If my job were cold calling people and I managed to get Henry Rollins on the line, I'd probably just ask him annoying questions about Ian MacKaye until he hung up on me.

[@DoctorTurdmidget]

I'm always nice and polite to telemarketers. I show interest in their product or service, I agree to buy whatever they're selling, and then I give them a bullshit credit card number. When they tell me the number didn't work, I apologize and give the number again with one digit changed. When they tell me that one didn't work, I apologize and say I give the number again with one digit changed. And on and on, until they hang up or start screaming at me.

[@filmbuff4]

you have too much time on your hands. I would just hang up.

[@erickgregoryful]

Dr. T That is Fantastic!

[@richardlopez2932]

He's at least half-right: I've worked in fast food, cleaned a county fair toilet (on multiple, separate occasions from when I was 15 to about 20 or so) and worked in better places for bosses I've been utterly contemptuous of...and I'll maintain until the day I die that being a salesman of any kind has got to be the most demeaning, awful, miserable fucking work I can ever imagine. I'm not telling anyone to be nicer to those guys. I'm telling you, it's not worth the money they promise.

[@empath69]

I was a telemarketer for the local newspaper for a total of two days; let go because I didn't garner enough subscriptions. Then forgot my experience with that and went into the other direction; 'customer management' (inbound troubleshooting/billing/etc) for a total of five years with two different companies. Ugh. The work wasn't too bad, but the callers wanted A, the client company wanted B and the call center company wanted C, and I just had to quit due to a pending ulcer.

[@commanderjesussaves]

I'm a telemarketer. This guy pretty much nailed it, except we're not even allowed coffee. Worst fucking job ever.

[@joshuaiancowley9288]

learn how 2 make real coffee, NO ONE will yell at u if u can tip their cup .a. joe down the sink lol

[@MrSheepMoose]

You realise it would have taken less effort to read what I had written in the description than write that comment, right? Taken from the Shock and Awe DVD.

[@KevKavanagh]

You watched this, you heard the bit where Rollins expresses empathy for someone who works such a job, and you sit at home waiting for the opportunity to inflict pain and possible hearing impairment on some poor bastard who has the temerity to ring your phone. The bristles of my toilet brush regularly come in contact with matter that would give you an inferiority complex...

[@A1Authority]

Yeah, but if you end up on a list sometime, merely because you made one inquiry, you start losing a nice attitude about it. 6 years ago, I once did like 15 minutes of online investigating, pricing insurance for whatever, and ended up on a list, and received calls ever since. There is no blocking it, because the list is one, obviously, sold to whomever, whenever, and the incoming number is never the same. It's nothing short of harassment, and the 'marketer' is collateral damage. But face it, strange incoming calls with only cold call sales involved is low rung, shite. Unwanted,unsolicited noise. That's the way it is. Nobody wants to shake the porter's hand.

[@moparist]

I always have an air horn by the phone. I give them a blast with that and hang up. they cant get the head set off in time.

[@ZetaN7]

I used a prank dial app on a telemarketer (it was the is jared there) and literally got a guy name jerry lol.

[@Kevinelevin92]

Oh Zaheer!

[@ameliasharp8711]

Indeed Kevin O'Brien my boyfriend is so funny.

[@Adrastia]

I get a lot of spam texts now. And Comcast calls me all the time trying to shill some new deal on me. I've told them multiple times that I barely watch TV and don't need a cable box. We already have Direct TV and I haven't turned my TV on in a week anyway. But they keep bugging me and sending me hardware without asking first. I have all this hardware I have to send back that I don't need or want.

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

😂 I’m done ✅

[@cs855]

Fuck that.

[@Thefreeloader45]

I literally sell crap to people over the phone. I just call it "organic lawn care"

[@eriksmith5740]

He gave me hope… if he can get paid for telling boring stories…. 🤷🏼

[@amosonyoutube]

lol

[@ArisolSpray]

I usually play that song from the Outhere Brothers "Pussy Pussy" lol

[@emen_98]

I remember the first time I saw this bit. And I knew exactly where this was going😂😂😂

[@gregjohns5235]

I like doing stuff like this to the scammers when they call. I don't get nearly as many calls from scammers as I used to.

[@bringbackthe1960sppl]

why did your comment get marked as spam?

[@jeddavis8714]

From Apocalypse Now ,,, the movie

[@bowlsallbroken]

What would he have done if Pete *did* show up at his door??