Herb Welch: Virginity Pledge Rally - SNL

Veteran reporter Herb Welch (Bill Hader) covers a group of Staten Island teens taking a virginity pledge outside of their high school, and resents taking orders from news anchor Chuck Dawes (Taran Killam). [Season 40, 2014]
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[@xcelestialsongx]

"I don't take orders from mannequins. I know you're smooth down there." 😂

[@chadkase7580]

What size shoe do you wear?

[@lamelwinston5638]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@alexanderpanayi7212]

"Stick a zagnut in it sideburns."

[@Beverly_Dingus]

The look on Taran Killam's face after he says that is hilarious.

[@upperleftcoastchelseafan7718]

I literally snorted the Dr. Pepper I was drinking out of my nose and all over my bed when he said that! Freakin' Hader is brilliant. I really should know better than to drink anything when Heb Welch is reporting.

[@caymangoodman6207]

asmr: bill hader beats you with a microphone

[@arpitdas4263]

😩

[@SheriffOutlaw]

Omg 🤣

[@ArtixellAnimations]

I'd pay to watch that

[@MercurySpades]

POV: Bill Hader beats you with a microphone

[@scottyPsychotty]

Take my money!

[@justinsullivan5839]

Dude Pete didn’t crack. I’m amazed hahaha

[@michellemabelle8298]

Yeah amazing lol

[@carolinamurtha3102]

I thought for sure he’d crack a smile at either him saying “I’m a virgin” or when Bill said “I don’t orders from mannequins; I know your smooth down there.” I sure as hell had to pause and to laugh my ass off. Proud of Pete, he’s getting better 😄.

[@TheGirAddict]

The mic hits keep them in check lol

[@StrongEnough78]

Especially after the "I know you're smooth down there" line. I would have lost it lol.

[@BreaMason]

Well he was getting hit in the face

[@cyheemwilliams335]

"Herb, why don't you talk to that organizer?" Herb: "Why didn't your wife take your last name?.............Coward". Lmao I'm no good

[@30catsinacardigan22]

i thought it was especially funny bc hader's ex wife didn't take his last name

[@andrewphillips8341]

Classic!

[@boldnbrash7028]

@@30catsinacardigan22 neither did Tarrans

[@andreimamaev2982]

Herb understands everything clearly 😅🤣😂

[@regardingpolishkid]

"Don't you scat at me beatnik"

[@yellowblanka6058]

"Show's over Jazzman!"

[@greegeree]

"I don't take orders from mannequins."

[@rflcanela]

LOL

[@penlesswhat22]

Damn.. beat me to it lol

[@tjyouman5282]

Stick a zagnut in it sideburns!

[@officialheathercombseardrp559]

Bill was so incredible in "It, Chapter Two," that we're Hader binging. Comedic genius.

[@rebeccawest1912]

His timing is incredible. Absolutely love Stefon.

[@justinbel68]

I am also a Hader Binger, it’s fun!

[@evelynu.5838]

I've been on a bill hader binge since the moment I watched the trailer for It chapter 2 and I don't regret it at all! He's truly incredible.

[@georgiathomas2015]

Sameeee

[@Kat_M557]

I didn’t need IT Chapter two to binge watch him. Barry, Saturday Night Live. More

[@eacey]

"you dont look like a fitzgerald to me" most passive aggressive racism

[@adaicduygu4317]

Carl Marks SOOOOO TRUE

[@annethrax20]

@Carl Marks watching someone call a conservative a "snowflake" is what I imagine watching Jesus part water was like

[@annethrax20]

@Carl Marks that's cool

[@kinocrone7275]

@@annethrax20 Do I correct you and potentially get /wooshed or do I assume I'm missing some obscure internet reference? Is this my life now?

[@annethrax20]

@@kinocrone7275 source: the Bible

[@TheLovelySheri]

I know you're smooth down there 😂😂😂🤣😭😭😭

[@chey6073]

Props to Pete for keeping a straight face during that 😭

[@mercster]

I came here to type this, but you beat me to it. Well done.

[@ristestankovski]

Sheri I'm not, do u wanna see a picture of my junk?

[@TheLovelySheri]

ristestankovski, no thank you. I'll pass. I'd rather look at my own junk.

[@3Dogg]

Nothing else was said lmao

[@ec1385]

This sketch has Mulaney written all over it.

[@johnroscoe2406]

Do you just go to all the Bill Hader clips and type the same thing?

[@laurenring9721]

So. Much. Mulaney.

[@imtryingmybest673]

Eric Cox of course, it has the word “bodega” in it at least once

[@kevinlucianovich6827]

HE WROTE IT!!

[@spencerreed6014]

I just watched what you linked to and am now crying with laughter😂

[@FanOfAttitudeEra]

"Hola que paso senorita" ! That line kills me.

[@starbuzz95ayu]

What does it mean?

[@Slimbaful]

@@starbuzz95ayu Hey how are you doing lady.

[@jc3m]

@@starbuzz95ayu Slimbaful was close-ish. It's not "how are you doing", it's "what happened".

[@624radicalham]

@@jc3m That's a literal translation which doesn't work. It's "What's up"

[@jc3m]

@@624radicalham Sure, if the word was pasa and not pasó. The reporter is asking what happened. Did you watch the video?

[@domtillman630]

I died when the microphone came out of the left side. I wish Bill Hader did it in his most recent hosting.

[@savagenature1]

It kinda makes you wonder how Herb is able to do that :P

[@JasonBorn89]

"Why didnt your wife take your last name?..........coward"

[@kundriagallo7902]

JasonBorn89 hola, que paso señorita 😂😂😂😂

[@joeybear5707]

JasonBorn89 dudes wife (colby smulders) really didnt take his last name after marriage. I think that look on his face was legit...

[@clarkkent163000]

Joey Bear Well, no actors change their names. It's a trademark.

[@uluhru4evoh]

I dont take orders from mannequins....i know youre smooth down there

[@apolloclouds]

Wives are not property they shouldn't have to take their husband's last name

[@ElFrankElTank]

Hader is amazing 😂

[@rflcanela]

YES!!

[@parker-lol]

facts!!

[@flisko123]

snl if u are reading this, we want more herb welch do it now

[@sha11235]

Bill is no longer on the show.

[@shihalya]

I think when corona is over they going to do a lot of alumni sketches, cause they will need new castmembers.... one of the musicians already died

[@yorgeesmorgee]

not want. need

[@TornadoWhirl33]

*you Don't be lazy, butthead.

[@fiatalfa7193]

@@sha11235 the fuck

[@gustavgnoettgen]

"And there you have it. The russkies have a monkey in outer space. So that's 'lights out' for uncle Sam... Back to you, Chuck."

[@nicholasdiehl7368]

Best part

[@jo4504]

Is that a reference to something? I didn't get that part at all. (Not American)

[@lancelotto475]

​@jo4504 It was a reference to when Russia (under Soviet rule) launched an animal into Earth orbit, which at the time was a big step in aerospace technology and caused some Americans to fear that the Soviet Union was becoming more technologically advanced than the US.

[@donjones4719]

@@jo4504 Herb was referring to the early days of the Space Race in the Cold War. (When the Russians were called Russkies.) Herb was, as always, confused. The US launched monkeys on suborbital flights in the 1950s and a couple of chimpanzees in c.1960. Although the Soviets flew mice and other small animals in the '50s they didn't fly monkeys till the 1980s. The Soviet Union did send a dog into orbit in 1957, Laika. That caused a big uproar in the US, with fears the US was behind in technology, especially rocket tech - aka ICBM tech. The US had not even launched a simple satellite to orbit then. Herb called this shortfall "lights out for Uncle Sam." (Lights outs is slang for a boxer being knocked out.)

[@slydoll7877]

"don't you scat at me beatnik!" "show's over jazzman!"

[@ninjasdielast]

bill hader is the BEST !!!

[@sammyeagleson5352]

"Why do you have a diaper bag?"😂

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

Again

[@EvilFookaire]

"I know you're smooth down there".... holy fuck someone bury me already, I'm dead here lol...

[@brace110]

I love his summaries :) "some racist chatter....and that's the news"

[@Athmel]

​@@viracocha "You don't look like a Fitzgerald to me." - Means Pete is too ethnic looking to have an Irish surname. Speaking to the lady in Spanish when she already spoke perfect English. Assuming that she's Hispanic and came from an impoverished background, and specifically calling it a bodega.

[@woodson21]

The three summaries were the best parts of the skit!

[@tyronedobbins5151]

“Don’t tell me how to do the news you drugstore Indian!!” 😭😭😭 I’m literally crying right now

[@R0ACH44]

"I don't take orders from mannequins." is my new insult

[@mercster]

Don't you scat at me, BEATNIK.

[@mercster]

Stick a Zagnut in it, sideburns.

[@michaeldeguzman8675]

lol. "from the bodega to the boardroom."

[@jasnajovic7722]

Herb is the best!!!😂😂😂 That voice though...😜

[@EvilFookaire]

Goddamnit, even when knowing that "I know you're smooth down there" is about to hit... even when telling myself that I'm prepared this time... that bit just insta-kills me lol...

[@Dr.Chakrabarti]

I wonder what would happen if Herb welch and Steffan met

[@basketanand]

Ritu Chakrabarti oooooooooh...I like the way you think...I'm so going to write that!! and Vinnie Veddeci too maybe...

[@Fabo100]

Ritu Chakrabarti Herbie would sure be disgusted by Steffon and his flamboyant shirts...but Steffon would love little Herbie, awwwww

[@jackiethompson7446]

Herb would stretch him like a fat babies britches

[@AmaraEmme]

Dude Bill Hader is so versatile, I totally forgot Herb and Stefon are played by the same person :OOO!!!!!

[@luv3daysgrace1]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

[@ootomaskooo]

Hader simply carries every single sketch he's in! :)

[@sammyeagleson5352]

Taran Killam is no slouch either

[@nebulousisgod]

Him constantly trying to send it back to Chuck is the funniest thing that exists in life

[@claudiosantos1014]

Finally another Herb Welch Sketch... Hader is simply great!

[@Countdownsmiles]

I've somehow never seen this one. So many great lines from Bill "Show's over jazz man" Is gonna be coming out of my mouth for months

[@leester321]

Bill Hader is easily one of the hardest working and most impressive actors in snl history in my opinion

[@g194g]

*Interviews someone about a virginity pledge* “Don’t believe the hype Central Park remains unsafe for women after dark” lmao

[@kroganpopy9206]

'You don't look like a Fitzgerald to me...' lol

[@spacepeanut8993]

@melaaani.97 Usually someone with that last name is of Irish decent.

[@samginoble2397]

Stick a zagnut in it, sideburns. lol

[@RC.41]

Sam Ginoble 😍

[@jahigains9201]

I didn't even know what a Zagnut was, but I was dyin anyway

[@samginoble2397]

@@jahigains9201 I think it’s like an old school candy bar 😂

[@irvlangarcia1975]

"I know you're smooth down there" had me dead

[@samanthagreen576]

Herb's voice is like oddly soothing...

[@sunnyrastin]

bill hader 4 president

[@pulmonary4051]

Coolio

[@sonofchlar6144]

pulmonary 40 with coolio as Vice President? I’m down.

[@SavvyMuhon]

French Jesus You’re so edgy

[@theonlycma]

I want to like this but you commented 4 years ago and you have the 4 in the comment and there are 444 likes and I'm the 4th comment. It's too perfect.

[@kuhnhan]

Nice idea, but he's too smart.

[@ashtonmcroy2200]

the funniest part is when he hits people in the face with his mic

[@michelleblling803]

I couldn't keep it together it's so funny😂😂😂

[@DS-xk6yr]

It was funny the first few times, then it got tired. The dialogue was good enough to carry the sketch without it continuing.

[@fernandovazquezsr.4710]

Herb: "Hola, que paso senorita." I'm dead! 💀🤣😭

[@upperleftcoastchelseafan7718]

Bill did like five or six Herb Welch skits and I constantly replay them, they're that good. The one with Emma Stone & Kristen Wiig in Falling Ice is one of the funniest skits in SNL history, scratch that, they're all gold. "I know you're smooth down there" has got to be six of the funniest words ever uttered on SNL. Freakin' love Herb Welch.

[@unclecreepy4073]

At first I thought this skit was written just so Bill could give Pete a few good whacks. Turns out, it’s just so Bill could totally burn Taran about his wife not taken his last name.

[@dielaughing73]

Yeah that seemed to sting

[@CuriousGoodsJessica]

"Why didn't your wife take your last name?" 🤣 I'm dyin

[@terrortoby47]

...Coward.

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

What

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

Lol

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Got a kid?' 'No, I'm a virgin.' 'Then why do got a diaper bag?' LMAO!!!!

[@svetlanaandrasova6086]

I know you´re smooth down there....killed me :D

[@MrGlamour2011]

02:15: I love cute Tarams face expression after the "Why didn t your wife take your last name?" question :-))) So full of embarassement and hate at the same time :-)))

[@julias.348]

I laughed so hard at this. Bill is amazing :)

[@avaguitarestava]

Bill is so funny he almost made himself crack “I know you’re smooth down there” 😂😂

[@Juliet475]

Ken Doll.....lol....

[@justexisting.]

"I know you are *_smooth_* down there" THE WAY I SNORTED

[@imoon5858]

I know you’re smooth down there 😂😂😂😂

[@lonneiayoung3202]

“I know you’re smooth down there” 😂😂

[@geraniaceae4470]

There are no words to describe the brilliance of Bill Hader and the genius behind this script.

[@xanderk84]

If Bill Hader ever hosts SNL to promote Barry or something PLEASE do another Herb Welch sketch!

[@sarah_b_555]

I've seen the original clip (w/ the actual Herb Welch) and bill Hader NAILED it in this particular one 😆😂😆

[@triscuithebiscuit]

Wait there's an actual Herb Welch?

[@Athmel]

@@triscuithebiscuit I looked around, and people say it's this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d6XdeGatmauSf7c

[@fulltimeslackerii8229]

From bodega to board rooms is such a hilarious line

[@moedab138]

Herb Welch: I dont take orders from mannequins ... I know you're smooth down there 😂😂🤣🤣

[@aswinhoola]

I died when he said 'From the Bodega to the boardroom Latin Americans are on the move'.....Dafaq?

[@marknilson3653]

I love the implication that there’s always paramedics on hand, like he might just die and they know it

[@rajithmaligaspe]

Yay! Hoped for a Herb Welch sketch and they delivered! :D

[@alexanderpanayi7212]

"Don't tell me how to do the news you drugstore Indian."lmfao starts banging camara with his mic

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Shows over jazz man.' (Smack) LMAO!!!!!!!

[@edwinearl4584]

“I know you’re smooth down there.” 🤣

[@louisdellalucca8969]

There needs to be a Best of Bill Hader special. He always makes me laugh cry

[@cassylk22]

Bill speaking spanish in his herb welch voice is something i never knew i needed

[@chelyvo]

He sounds so hot 🔥 😍

[@cassylk22]

@@chelyvo ikrrr 😍

[@mstalcup]

Bill Hader at his best! Wonderful.

[@laurenjcoates]

“Latin Americans are on the move” lmaooo

[@MrBuckethead911]

Bill Hader is a legend. I bursted out laughing at 2:30

[@angelas.1581]

“I don’t take orders from mannequins. I know you’re smooth down there.” 😃😃😂😂😂😂

[@MarciaPze]

God I can’t imagine a date with Bill and not having fun! He is hilarious!

[@jonathonroldan9170]

Herb Welch skits keep me in tears 🤣...I really want a Herb Welch movie!!

[@Handmadebysunrise]

Everytime Pete is in a skit where is he being beaten with something he does not break lmao

[@masonpines6349]

"Shows over, jazz man!" *bop* *bop bop*

[@livh3065]

"i know you're smooth down there" lmfao

[@ghadajebnani6460]

Where's the "HERB WELCH LIVES" at the end?

[@Kowasi]

Béatrice Longfeatherbottom Supplies!

[@kroganpopy9206]

Lmao, God damn it Bill Hader.

[@SergeantSarcasm1]

SHOW'S OVER JAZZ MAN!

[@Castigarr]

Bill Hader smacking with the microphone...kills me everytime 😂😂😂😂

[@tiernytouch3274]

This is genuinely one of my favorite Hader skits of many

[@rebekahholm218]

Bill hader is a treasure

[@banjoarefood898]

"Don't you scat at me, beatnik!"

[@mrztaylorlautner4evr]

"I know you're smooth down there" kills me every time 😂😂

[@miagonzo5522]

"why do you have a diaper bag?" 😂😂

[@lol_almighty]

smooth down there . lol

[@nefwaenre]

Herb was so fun to watch! God i miss Bill Hader on SNL.

[@itskayla9735]

Bill Hader is an ICONNNN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@neuroling]

I can't breathe!!! "I know you're smooth down there" LOL 😂

[@roberth_leiva]

Hola, que pasó, señorita?

[@BrokeredHeart]

That muttered "coward." made me spit out my coffee.

[@tiannaalyssa4144]

yo when the mic hit him I lost it

[@wopfrog007]

“Why didn’t your wife take your last name... coward?” 🤣🤣🤣😵😵😵

[@mickos_]

Bill hader is pure gold. This is hilarious.

[@gracieambrosio4967]

Bill Hader : congrats

[@lillien27]

The skit is hilarious though it's not the same without Jason S.

[@jayar7436]

“Well, there you have it folks: from bodegas to boardrooms, Latin Americans are on the move.” LMFAO

[@maddie5523]

This will forever be one of my favorite sketches

[@alienz8641]

"Don't tell me how to do the news you drug store Indian!" -Bill Hader, 2014.

[@daprotech]

lmao! This is too good. So many mic drop moments!

[@swill1020]

“I know you’re smooth down there.” Too funny .

[@stephskylarr]

"don't tell me how to do the news, you drugstore indian" LOL damn Bill Hader can make anything funny

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Spill the beans.' (Smack) lol!