Heroin: My Road To Recovery. Chapter 1

[@JessicaKent]

This isn’t my first video… I don’t think anyway. I’ve filmed so many but this is the oldest one I can find. I might be able to find the other ones somewhere. There’s a few times that I misspeak. I said “don’t help an addict don’t give them money but let them know you love them” I meant to say … love them don’t enable. Feeding someone isn’t enabling. Money .. can be enabling. Today I believe in harm reduction but I still misspeak in every video and they’re tough for me to watch. #2 Idk the exact # of X I shot up per day. I said 20. But I did little shots throughout the day n it felt like I was constantly doing it. #3 I also say “On October 17th my bf went to sell an 8 ball” i was in jail then lol I was arrested on oct 11th. I probably meant October 7th? Idk. Who knows lol Idk why I even said that bc it doesn’t matter lol 🤦‍♀️🫶🏻

[@cococordova7403]

Physically addicted to pills at 13? A functioning pill addict at 13…this is what you said early on in this video. But not addicted until you put a needle in your arm? You can’t tell the truth to save your life. FYI.. Anyone can sell drugs. Someone fronts you the work or your buy it yourself & you sell it to someone else. Doesn’t take anyone special to be good at that lol.

[@46monkeyes]

I know addiction does not discriminate. But you are the epitome of contradiction. You are beautiful, very well spoken, kind and compassionate. Not what an addict would seem to be in the minds of ignorance.

[@lovefrances2261]

I’m so happy to have found your channel. I’m over here from Kristina channel and your story meant so much to me. I unfortunately was not able to get my daughter back from DCF care. Her paternal aunt ended up adopting her. When me and her father broke up I was basically excommunicated 100%. Out of sight out of mind, blood is thicker than water, etc. etc. of course she did not deny her brother access to our daughter but it was under very supervised, strict, etc. situations and He was always to refer to himself and to be referred to as “Uncle“ the first six years of her life she really thought he was her uncle. She had no clue she was even adopted until she was a little over 13 years old Somehow everything came out and it did not come out in a sensitive loving caring way. It was basically thrown at her like it was this ugly disgusting thing Despite the fact he overdosed after getting a second chance at life. Literally. He destroyed his heart, he received open heart surgery that he barely survived. Then he chose to shoot heroin again and overdosed and died. This entire time I had been racking up years of clean time and living a phenomenal life. But without my sweet baby. I sent her Aunt letters all the time. I was ignored. I told her I would do anything. Just send me a picture. Send me a news report about what she likes, what she’s into, etc. again everything was ignored. They basically spent from the age of 13 to 18 scaring her against me. Sadly, her father was put up on a pedestal and martyred. I was actually resented because I chose to get clean and survive. I wanted my daughter to find me and when she found me I wanted to be worth finding I wanted her to find somebody who had years of clean time, was living a good decent life, he was doing the best she could do to be a better person and hopefully make the world somehow a better place, To say that her paternal family resented me I think is an understatement I suppose I understand their grief. I kept sending letters detailing my fabulous clean and sober life meanwhile he had died from a horrific heroin overdose Why me? Why did I get to live and he died? I’m sure they thought these things She is 19 years old, will be 20 in July She reached out to me last Mother’s Day It’s quite strange but we still have a little bit of a back-and-forth exchange via Messages. We’ve yet to talk on the phone. I’ve asked her many times. But I need to be patient I had a few months to love her and to bond with her and permanently be imprinted on my soul. She was too young to remember me But I will never give up hope as long as I live I will work so hard and fight and stay clean because I want her to be proud of me one day I want her to love me. I beg God every night for her to love me. I wish her paternal family did not say all those horrible scary things about me. I don’t know why they chose to do that. I truly don’t. Because it’s making it so hard for us to bond But I could not get angry and say bad things about them to her. That will just prove them right So I’m being the better and bigger person than they ever were. I’m showing them more mercy than they ever showed me Sorry for rambling it’s just so frustrating because I get scared I’m not going to live long enough to have this relationship I’m dreaming about in my mind Part of me feels like it’s karma and I don’t deserve it anyways maybe this is my karmic payback for everything I did wrong when I was still using

[@JessicaKent]

Im so sorry you went thru that! 💜

[@jamsla2635]

Im here from your cameo on Christinas channel. Thank u for sharing your story w/ us, cant wait to watch all your videos.

[@roxannemoser]

7 years clean! Awesome! But you look so young. Bless you.

[@yungrolex1992]

You’re really good at talking to the camera. Amazing personality! I loved hearing your story. 👍👍👍

[@joliereeves7573]

You are such a strong person. Saw your story on Christina's channel and it touched me so much!! Wishing you and your baby girl all the happiness in the world!

[@Mylifewithmax]

Found your channel from Christina's. Currently starting to watch your videos. New subscriber here for sure.

[@rockstar73nc47]

Found another of your videos and just had to see where it all started. So im here.. Been there with those demons many many times. Some still exist but I feel ya . So gonna check out more of what ya got . Maybe one day i'll have the guts to tell my story ...

[@StLMikie]

Hey lady. I just saw your comment on another channel saying you’d just started a channel of your own revolving around your experience with jail and drugs. So. Here I am. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@trulogix9115]

Dido. Saw ya on Nicole's channel.

[@younglobwedge]

You're drop fucking dead gorgeous. Enjoy and relate to your story.

[@erinashley6970]

You seem so comfortable in front of the camera even though this is your first video. I love watching these types of videos because I can relate so much with you. Now I can't wait to binge watch all your videos! Lol

[@SuperBrewdog]

just wanted to say you're amazing for getting clean. i'm 19 days clean now just watching videos to keep going after 20 years of pills and heroin, so many relapses and rehabs and arrests but really think videos like yours help during this process.

[@JessicaKent]

19 days is amazing! Keep pushing you're doing great 🖤🖤🖤

[@roxannemoser]

124 days clean here friend. You can do this. Find a CBI group near you and get involved. That's helping me more than AA or NA, and I don't want to even talk about a methadone clinic.

[@SuperBrewdog]

thank you so much for the support, burned so many bridges that any encouragement helps! love the videos (I think I've watched almost all of them during this process) because idk why but they really help and finding someone with similar experiences really captures your interest and honestly some people are more entertaining than others for whatever reason, and I think you are a great speaker on this format (youtube). best of luck, I've recommended you to all the people within "our community" that I think could benefit aka trying to recover. hope your subscribers blow up because I've watched a lot of videos on recovery and bless them all but I think people will, as I did, find your videos the most helpful because of a lot of things but most importantly your sincerity.

[@SuperBrewdog]

thank you for taking the time to reply. I will check on that but not sure what the acronym is "CBI", but i'll try anything and everything because I really need the help and been down methadone and suboxone road already and just really don't want to do that again because I got PAWS from both of those and that was hell for so long, so unless it's a 5-7day detox I just won't go down that path again for me, but I do have friends who are on it and have been for years successfully. for me some AA's are good and I get it but sometimes they get real upset if you don't identify as an alcoholic and it's like whatever no big deal but it's just not true, I never really drink... anyway they are just too obsessed with "the rules" in the strictest sense for me, and all the love and power to them because clearly that works for them, but it throws me out of the "sober zone" sometimes with the "sacred rules". anyway thank you and I will check out CBI. also congrats on 124 days, soooo awesome! I hope to be heading that way!

[@tuklaif2034]

@@SuperBrewdoghope you're doing ok Bobby

[@arcwildfire9596]

I think your channel is just what I needed, I've been dealing with 2 addicts I love more than life, heroin addiction has tried to destroy them both. I've never used so I struggle to understand. Ty for your honesty, your one brave & beautiful survivor ❤

[@Bellavanacoffee]

Been there. Wishing you strength and wisdom to do what is best for you and for them.

[@MistakenMystery]

Tell them about kratom, tell them me and a lot of other people have used this fantastic herb to get off heroin

[@dbkurz415]

These stories are endlessly fascinating.

[@jesseshort8]

Just saw your comment on Death's channel. Nice video, can't wait to hear your story.

[@marisolchanthavong831]

Thank you for being so brave and put yourself out there to help other people. I am so very proud of you and how much you have accomplished in so little time. I love you always girlie

[@keishaw88]

i will binge watching now from seeing u on jessica's channel

[@nicoleastraea]

Lakeisha Wilhelm haha same here!! 😆

[@daniellesve5595]

"I couldn't even get out of bed. All day long I was using heroin and I kinda wanted to die." Came to right at this part. Hope I can find the willingness to do the right thing like you have. You're such a humble and kind hearted person despite it all I hope I can be like you in sobriety one day. Please keep posting.

[@Kayla-StellaRose]

Your so brave to tell your story.

[@ashleywatkins2722]

Girl, I love your content and your humor of appropriate thing. Love ya girl

[@MD-jr4qc]

2.5 years clean off meth 💓

[@poison4303]

Hope you’re doing well

[@Bellavanacoffee]

Wow. Just got to the end. Scary stuff girl. I adore your transparency and I'm so glad you made it out.

[@jefferyhorton5251]

Good message. In some cases people are alive but are actually unable to be saved. At this point they're usually in the hospital. They are going to die and can't do anything about it.

[@daddydirulowcs1044]

Glad u are better hopefully one day i can make it there great video

[@thomasmarguglio2120]

This is a great channel! Keep up the great work!

[@GaryEgan-qu2dw]

😂lying bisshhhh

[@merncat75]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY!!! I can relate on SO MANY LEVELS 😖😞

[@merncat75]

Omg, I thought I am the ONLY person who ever set timers to remind myself to drink water/pee 😔😑 idk who I am anymore. I used to be HEALTHY and strong 😖

[@JessicaKent]

@@merncat75 haha yea it was pretty wild

[@CMchyy]

@@merncat75 are you okay?

[@merncat75]

@@CMchyy hangin in best I can, thank you for asking!!

[@CMchyy]

@@merncat75 God Bless you and stay positive and happy! you got this🙌🙌🙏

[@JessicaJasinski]

Do u still have your Tweaker Book. If u do. Id love to hear what you wrote in there.

[@JessicaKent]

I wish!!!

[@NivviKDreaming]

Ok I have no idea how or why or when I subscribed. I'm clean off opiates now for over two years. I stopped when I found out I was pregnant. other things came back into my life though the last three months and I was struggling with life stressors, before that and during that and then was also hit with Covid causing brain inflammation. All of this hurt my mental health and my path on knowing who I am. This may sound silly but I'm struggling on where to go and what to do and who to talk to. I don't even know what I want to say. i guess im just scared and i see hope in your story and dont know who to reach out to. your amazing and loved

[@danzwku]

thanks for sharing. makes me more comfortable with what i might do in the future.

[@hippiegal8725]

Always hope😁 😇

[@DogMommy.]

Omg jess you look so young here. The things i watch at 5am lol

[@chasa4347]

You are very brave sharing your story Jessica. I agree reach out for help. I lost my wife to mental illness, and kick myself so often for trying to fix everything myself. In the long run, I got custody of my daughter and I'm ok, but know I could have done things differently and helped her too.

[@champmarly7665]

Don't give up on your Channel

[@chefwright4512]

Congrats im trying to get clean but its so hard idk if im going be able to beat it i can only get 3 days clean until my demons take control.

[@JessicaKent]

You CAN do it! Keep fighting 🖤

[@LifeBeyondCircumstance]

I understand what ur going through...its sooo hard. Just wanted to wish you the best of luck and tell u thatu can def do it. ☺💖

[@brandyyybabyyy436]

I always relapse as well. Longest I’ve made it is a few months.

[@nofixedaddressbyknowhope260]

So I just watched your first video...subscribed and following... Our stories are similar...yours maybe a little Wilder...lol...but same ballpark!

[@karlabc9251]

I found you through Christinas channel. Watching this makes me think that this mentality is most likely what my son is thinking now. He is 15 and I am in search of understanding why he is doing what he is doing and I think you just helped understand. Thank You. Now how the heck do I help him.

[@brooke7063]

Depending on how bad off he is determines what u can do. Honestly if he's to far in it he may have to reach rock bottom and make the choice to change on his own. Friends are a big problem at that age and he will likely not change without a change of scenery. He will have to leave the bad influences in the past and make new friends. ..again it depends on what it is he's doing. Don't ever give up on him though...but don't enable bad behavior either ..also, if you have other children don't lose sight of their life happenings because one child is taking a lot of your focus away. That can happen easily and its not fair. I have nearly 30 yrs life experience of what drugs can do to a family..2 brothers in prison from drugs..battled addiction myself just never got in trouble so I have insight if u need to talk

[@karlabc9251]

Brooke Buffington my son left the house 1mth ago and blocked all family and good friends out of his life. He knows he can come home and the requirement is go to school and lose the bad friends. I know he is out there robbing ppl, dealing, and smoking weed. I tried to get him to go to therapy, we tried moving him schools. We have tried so much and nothing has helped. He still has not gotten arrested. He has gotten very lucky with that. I do have 2 younger kids. 11 & 13 and we are trying our best to NOT lose focus on them and it is incredibly hard. We just dont get why he is doing this. We have a well rounded big family that has never had issues with addictions or the law ever.

[@brooke7063]

@@karlabc9251 ah I hate hearing that. My oldest is 7 so I haven't had to deal with a child of mine doing drugs and pray I dont. It sounds like you're doing the best you can though. ..sounds like you're not enabling him but also knowing you're still there to welcome him home if and when he wants to follow the rules. As far as why he's doing it..if there is no dysfunction in the home my best guess is his friends and that can be impossible to change for him. My mom tried moving with my brothers but even in new towns they would repeat the same cycle and link up with the same type if ppl over and over. For me I became addicted in my twenties and for sober due to falling pregnant and changed for my child. For my siblings they started young and never changed..they've both gone to prison multiple times with that not being enough to stop them either..that being said my mother enabled them. I think the best advice I could give you is to never enable their bad behavior don't make it easy for him or he will have no reason to change. I hope weed is all he is using. If it escalates you could consider court mandated rehab, but truly the person has to desire change. You can't do it for them unfortunately. Im so sorry you're faced with this, as a mother its got to kill you, but I think tough love is your best solution.

[@karlabc9251]

Brooke Buffington thank you so much for your words. You have no idea what this means to me. It is heart breaking but you are right we have to just not enable him. I considered moving with him to another town but also fear that he will just find the bad crowd again because for some reason he wants that life. He looks for it. I do hope its just weed too but Weed can be a gateway drug and its just a matter of time for him to try something new. I hope he turns his life around sooner than later.

[@L._._]

It’s so weird to see a video I haven’t seen 😮

[@denamullen340]

Thank you for sharing this!!! 💗💗💗💗

[@jesslynn7975]

New follower here, I too saw your comment on 23&1's channel. I'll work my way down so I can watch all of your videos. 🙂

[@roxannemoser]

Same here. Found it by her comment on tonight's 23 and 1

[@garyward1461]

Hello I wanted to say much respect to you for getting clean & making these very positive videos. I also had a ? Have you ever been on subs or methadone?

[@darrelbrock7650]

Thanks for sharing the hopr

[@jessegibbons3562]

Wow thanks for sharing

[@leezybreeze1299]

April 13 of this coming year will be 7 years sober for me . I'm proud of u

[@CMchyy]

God Bless and congratulations! stay strong, happy and positive!

[@alyssamassey8394]

Love you Jess

[@Bellavanacoffee]

You have inspired me to make a video about why I quit drinking and my hacks to continue sober life. I love your honesty and insight. I'm so glad you are going to be a counselor. Did you say you got your bachelor's for this?

[@JessicaKent]

I will graduate in September. And im so glad I inspired you! 🖤

[@Bellavanacoffee]

@@JessicaKentI'm so glad for you. I think therapy is in the talking I've made a video about it once and I just pretended I was talking to a friend and even though I'm not sharing that one it really helped me get my ideas in order and help me understand why I drank. I believe we should all have access to counseling because you often find that that's what people are lacking is someone to talk to about things. People usually don't want to talk about this they want to sweep it under the rug.

[@kula3975]

Great vid

[@Postaldude__]

Damnnnn popping pills at 13, thats wild. I was still coughing over a cigarette when i was 13

[@RoyaltyBabe90]

You can definitely become addicted to weed. Coming from a pothead who has smoked every single day for the last 6 years 😩 I’m a monster without it, I don’t sleep & my gastric issues come back, causing me to throw up & be sick. Hell im a monster when it’s been 5hrs & I haven’t smoked ..

[@priscilasimoes6250]

Do you really think you're a addicted? To me you're describing being out of a medicine, it's different!

[@lilbibby3310]

Damn we have almost the same exact story... That's crazy

[@Makingofabetterlife]

So happy to find one I haven't watched. I have a lot of recall problems. The right recall comes to me but it may be a day or 2. Of going over the day i am thinking of. It may have to do with my ADHD because my mind is always so damn busy.

[@matthewortega2096]

Wow 😮 way to go on getting it together!! I to am an ex-con dope fiend. Got my stuff straight my last bit and life has been good ever since. I appreciate the channel and the positivity. #STAYFREE

[@JessicaKent]

Ty! This was my first video ever haha makes me cringe but thank you watching! And Congratulations on yout sobriety!!

[@jimcorbeil]

💪❤😇❤💪

[@robsim4692]

What's the sadest thing about this video is the fact of how many times the story is the same!! Lots of us have experienced the same story pretty much! What's worse is I miss the drama more than the drugs! Sad I know but just being honest!! Drugs cost me everything I ever loved and then I got clean and it cost me that again thru no fault of my own. However in the end I'm still to blame.. I disagree about turning your back, that breeds resentment

[@MD-jr4qc]

I agree I miss the madness and chaos, lost to my much to ever go back tho.

[@richard6088]

Yas queen. I was also arrested on school property. Bitch, we're bad.

[@JessicaJasinski]

where did u grow up

[@al__________841]

Jesse's first vid wow

[@JessicaKent]

🤢😂

[@sammysabo]

wow I can relate to your story so much it’s insane, I always knew I wanted to sell drugs and I really wanted to shoot up heroin when I was really young probably about 14 - 15 when I shot up for the first time. It’s crazy thinking about how I wanted to try slamming it before smoking it or anything, but I can relate so much about wanting to be apart of this lifestyle and knowing (well thinking I know) the consequences for the long term because I also didn’t think I’d live this long and I’m only 21

[@lauralewis9980]

do you still smoke weed?

[@alyssamassey8394]

💸💸💸

[@hybridsolutions77]

OMG, you were sucked in to the mag crews, I thought about making vids on them, people don't really realize what goes down on mag crews, everyone is running from the law, but thinking you could run from the charges, while having fun traveling, but in reality, they're always there, it's always in the bk of your mind. I Met so many awesome people, when i was on crew, I'd went to a mag crew, due to my addictions, after about a month binge smoking crack, an doing pills, / I stayed gone for 10 n half months on a mag crew, went from the east coast, all the way to the west coast, who was your crew leaders?\ congrats on getting your life together Doll, you're amazingly beautiful, and such a courageous, girl. stay blessed

[@Randompotatoes-qs7bm]

What is a mag crew?

[@07795357787]

you are beautiful im so glad you have turned your life around how hard was it for you to get off herion

[@angalocolejusticeforthemis8120]

You are so Tru about drugs we never chose to be a drug addict always wanna be the dealer trust me I used to sell h then ended up using it sucks

[@k3nnyo411]

damn girl, scrolling thu your vids i found this, u are a fuckin rock, u inspire me.. i feel like i want to live cuz you. wtf? thanks for the videos i can so relate... i used to drink.. i sill do, but I used to, too. lol.

[@joshmattmilo]

I think I might be in love.

[@donaldperson948]

Where were your parents? This is insane at that age?

[@luboss0008]

thug life :)

[@anthonyarcanumsanctumregnu9551]

Mad cute face, its cool to see a female prison channel lol

[@227fenwaybeauty]

Yuri over at Womens prison talk has a great channel too.

[@hunterfann4876]

Damn you’re fine

[@ClaimClam]

jessica is for real she gave hella $$$ to lockdown 23and1 on stream

[@JessicaKent]

I need his merch too! Haha

[@jessicarenae5107]

*Just read your description, apologizing for poor sound quality..... I just thought since it was your first video, that you were being shy and quieter lol! Fyi.... ty for being so incredible and fearless to take this step so you can help ppl!!! The way most the world see addicts is very harsh, but also so sad, so the fact that you put this part of your life out there..... your amazing!!!*