hi, this is my 'Coming Out' video

[@kingbullyrock8739]

Wow, she has finally come out as Australian!!! Crocodile Dundee will be proud.

[@buggy89]

😂

[@andrewhelmer6853]

Omg ! But she looks so normal ! 😂

[@Soundwave218]

This made me chuckle. Well done.

[@PatrickSilent]

"That's not a gender... THAT'S a gender"

[@silverhawkflash]

@@PatrickSilent Ded

[@sassymuffinzzz]

Was worried for a second you were about to tell us you’re secretly a New Zealander.

[@thesausagecontinuim1971]

ahhahaha

[@purefoldnz3070]

dont worry its an exclusive club.

[@woffline9]

​@@purefoldnz3070Exclusive you say... So theres no chance someone from outside could join in?

[@AlanahIRL]

Really managed to get this up with two and a half hours of June left 😂

[@Infinite_Ethan03]

On this side of the planet, you’re just a few minutes late! 🤣

[@DrinkingDuckDexter]

nailed it!

[@jesusbriones4102]

#proudofyou 😂

[@ChadSkittles]

June has ended back home in Aus, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have these discussions year-round. Respect for being late honestly lol

[@leethax100]

Sorry, pride month is over in Tokyo

[@juliuskhaine]

When people ask me about my sexuality and what I'm attracted to I just point them to the cast of The Mummy.

[@MsHojat]

"The Boys" (TV show), maybe? at least that might be what I'd choose

[@BloodyBobJr]

Benny is pretty damn hot. That pencil thin mustache does something to me

[@shelbyfawn1337]

it was Underworld that cemented Kate Beckinsale, wasn’t it? my feelings about that movie were high on the list of “oh duh that’s what that was” when I realized I was queer in college.

[@AlanahIRL]

Yes lmao 💀

[@Cavemanner]

I've still never seen Underworld, but just watching her in her other roles was enough for me to be like "dream girl 😍" lmao

[@nuxxy_]

a fellow goth?

[@thedarkknight2221]

@@AlanahIRL I had it BAD for Selene in Underworld! She could just look at me and I would melt.

[@TehGameRaven]

Underworld lovers club member here. 🤘

[@redencarnacion]

Pansexual: “I’m looking for the software, not the hardware.” Demisexual: “I need to test out all the features first.”

[@eric7591]

Great analogy, thanks.

[@Checkmate1138]

How does that analogy compare with computers?

[@Potatochief]

I’m not playing Elden Ring until I know it runs at 60fps & 4K 🤣

[@nuxxy_]

same

[@riotangel4701]

100% code coverage.

[@rjg02005]

Developing an awareness of what you are and are not personally attracted to AND having a healthy separation between that awareness and respecting other people's personal preferences is something that I feel you do way better than the majority of people I know IRL. Thank you for sharing this; hopefully it can help cultivate a space where more people feel safe to share as well.

[@_Nywoe]

Alanah, thank you for doing this. I know that a video like this would have really helped me when I was 16 dealing with the fact that I'm a lesbian, and I have no doubt this will reach some people who really need it.

[@AlanahIRL]

❤️❤️❤️

[@TheErlend87]

No dubt, very kind of her to make this video to support other lgbtq people

[@abXbeast]

I'm the same for both! I came to realize it in the last year, and came out to my family at Christmas. And I do think this video will definitely help people, so thank you for making it.

[@AlanahIRL]

❤️

[@kojo7485]

​@@AlanahIRLHey 👋 Girl 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑 🍑

[@joshuabrodkorb]

you literally just explained me in this video. like it felt like you were telling me everything I felt but never really understood until right now.

[@bloodspartan]

"A person I don't know? Ugh!" My favorite bit 🤣

[@typeomaiden4038]

Thank you for being so frank and open. Regardless of the situation or subject. It is refreshing in the age of social media to have someone who is not afraid to just be themselves and to make others feel the same way. Not only that, but you are willing to talk about the things that most people in the gaming industry won't talk about. All this is to say, thank you for being you. I'm sure it is inspiring to so many.

[@ranyar_]

Everything you said about being demisexual is like... 100% me. I had no idea there was a term for it until now but Everything youre saying is 100% exactly how I feel about it too. I must thank you for sharing this 😅

[@JacobS5005]

So much same!

[@Swim2TheMoon11]

Same here. Big time eye opener. Thought I was the odd one thinking dating apps are the devil.

[@Alexplained]

It's big of you to be honest like this. Big thank you for sharing, and know that it's reminded me to keep exploring both myself and others (with their permission of course).

[@AlinaTheGoblin]

Demi was my realization a few years ago too when I was trying to figure out dating. Had a lot of anxiety about those first few dates and the physical expectations of them, so the demi label helped me make sense of all that. Sounds like your video resonated with a lot of other folks too, thanks for making it 😊

[@0Rikku760]

Thanks for this video Alanah! I also identify similarly to how you described demisexual but I didn't have the word for it before now. It was so nice to hear too how you approach explaining what it's not (like it not being for a religious or other reason.) Hearing that just reminded me of soo many times when people have jumped to negative assumptions about me (for this and other things), mostly assuming I must be trying to perfect being the 'purest-innocent Christian girl,' despite not being Christian or anything else related to the stereotype. It was simply validating to hear that another person shares a similar identity and for similar reasons (just being who we are as we are authentically.)

[@Br4d]

You could try a doggy life jacket! That way he’ll float and get used to the pool, maybe?

[@gargamellenoir8460]

How would that help him get in the pool? He doesn't know the life jacket will protect him.

[@AuricNova]

@@gargamellenoir8460 I think it's more about once he's in the pool he might not freak out as much, thus encouraging him to enter the pool with less friction in the future.

[@Br4d]

@@AuricNova yes, that’s what I meant. Our dogs have life jackets and the older dog loved to swim with it on still. It kept her strong when she was struggling with arthritis.

[@Cole-ft4rr]

This is what I did with my golden until he became comfortable and now he jumps in before I do!

[@MrDefacia]

I had a good friend in High School who felt this way, and it would've been such a blessing to have these terms and this understanding during that time. Thank you for sharing your truth!

[@sonnydelitee]

Thanks for sharing this, Alanah! It makes me feel a little better knowing that this is a shared experience because everything you’ve shared is exactly how I’ve felt. Figuring out I was demisexual some years ago now was such a revelation and made a lot of things click for the first time in my head, and I learned about it by someone else sharing their experience. It can be a hard to explain sometimes and have come out of more than a few conversations being called prude when it’s so not that. Also yes the dating apps thing is nightmare fuel lmao it drives me crazy so I tend to avoid it 🥴

[@macrot5419]

Lolol touch grass

[@squeeklowrey8995]

It's good to hear this from someone I enjoy the content of. For most of my life I thought I was just messed up, seeing all my friends doing the whole dating thing and not understanding. I found out about Demi about 3 years ago and it just explained everything. I appreciate you sharing your story, happy pride.

[@Gyoubu-the-Demon]

Im a straight male, and that's how i feel about attraction. I didn't know there was a name for it. My male friends think it's strange, lol 😂

[@AlanahIRL]

It’s definitely more unusual but not exactly uncommon. Just not the norm!

[@michaellynch9550]

I am also a straight male. I hope we helped somebody.

[@JayRandomness07]

I'm exactly the same. I only learned the term a few years ago myself.

[@TwistedSisler]

Yeah, demisexual is more a personality trait than sexuality because any sexuality can also be demisexual. Introverted people tend to be demisexual more often than extroverted people, but it's not exclusive by any means.

[@aperson4640]

Demi-sexual. I first heard that term in the game Pacific Drive. That game is AMAZING! Dripping with atmosohere; 5 minutes in you just want to buy the soundtrack. Anyway you can get bumper stickers along with descriptions of every known entry on the sexual spectrum in that game for your car. It's one of the most unusual and engrossing games I've ever played. I highly recommend it.

[@drskelebone]

Thank you so much for this. I came to a similar set of conclusions during the worst of the pandemic, and the fact that I had to do research to find out there were people like me kind of sucked. The idea that I could just be like, "you know, like Alanah," and people would get it is I think one of the true reasons for pride.

[@MasonOfLife]

This is a bit off topic but that pool looks so refreshing

[@BxBxProductions]

game reviewer bath water 👀

[@MasonOfLife]

@@BxBxProductions lmao not to drink, to swim in my friend

[@DavidGowers]

Doesn't it? It's the one thing I really enjoy about summer - having pool time.

[@jsojkausa]

Alanah... Good On Ya for the Transparency. It is a pleasure to hear that you don't "FU_K"! Intimacy is a Valuable thing, and it needs to be reciprocal, and exclusive. ❤

[@TA-qe3xm]

You just explained being demi so well I might send this to my friends. Even my best friend tries to get me to try things like speed dating and I struggle to explain why I feel most dating apps, speed dating, blind dates, etc., are not going to work for me. I think they think I'm just being picky but I don't feel "sparks" like they do. The most annoying thing being a lesbian, dating apps are currently the "normal" way most of the people I know are meeting partners. I know they are commonly used for all. groups but living in London its oddly the main way most lesbians meet new potential partners. Anyways yeah thanks for saying this.

[@manythingslefttobuild]

Thanks for making this video, I'm sure it will help people be more comfortable with who they are. Best of luck introducing Banjo to the pool.

[@joeymag593]

Normalizing these topics is really important and I'm happy you were comfortable with sharing! Love your work!

[@nunpho]

Omg, im pan and demi too! Trying to describe what demi is to people is a bloody nightmare 😂. You did a good job describing it. I'm also autistic and I'm wondering how all these things tie in together. That as well as being trans seems to be more common in neurospicy people. It's so interesting.

[@AlanahIRL]

Yeah I’m super sure they tie in together. I was also going to talk about gender and how I have 0 preference when it comes to pronouns etc., like, I don’t care if you call me he/him/they/whatever else, but I think that one is just… autism lol

[@nunpho]

@@AlanahIRL samesies 😆. I also don't really think I've felt peer pressure to fit in etc and I'm sure it all ties in to ✨autism✨.

[@dani_i8942]

You are neither - you are delusional.

[@Dalibu13]

Thank you for sharing this and talking about it, I had no idea about demi before this and then your description felt like a lot of pieces dropping into place about my life!!! To find out there's a term, a community, a 'normalness' to it is revelationary. Thank you 🤯🥳💜

[@suratt5774]

A lil bit of a necro post but Demisexual often gets pushed under the "it's morally right" umbrella. There is a MASSIVE difference though. It's like "morals" is "I'm super attracted and want to bone but XYZ says I shouldn't!" and Demi is "I can see that person is objectively attractive, but I am not attracted." So often just doesn't get mentioned except as "Isn't that the way it should be...?"

[@balrual1234]

I'll add that it's never too late to understand yourself. At 38 I ended my abusive marriage and spent a year of introspection. Now that I know who I am I'm happier than I've ever been.

[@AlanahIRL]

❤️❤️❤️

[@BalianBlue_]

Im so happy finding more and more people new and people i already watch like you discovering theyre demi. I learned that about myself like two or three years ago and i always knew i was different but never knew what it was. Im straight but 100% feel the same way about attraction.

[@ericmicke4130]

Huh. I didn't know I was demi-sexual. Just never cared to know the label. It means nothing to me. If i had to describe myself my sexuality wouldn't make the list of things I would talk about. I can acknowledge masculine attractiveness, but in terms of finding someone appealing I've realized I am attracted to femininity or androgyny. They don't necessarily need to be a woman. So I've always when it's come up said, I've only been in straight relationships with cis women but I can't say that is definitively what I am. I dont know. I feel like i would be open to anything if I like the person enough. I wish we were at a point where we didn't need to talk about labels. Because really everyone is just, who they are as they are and that's what counts and they should be allowed to express that regardless of what that means. However as far as your video goes. I feel like you've talked about this before. I kind of assumed the whole time you had already been "out". But of course if it can help someone then it's always worth the time.

[@JacobS5005]

How I have known of you Alanah from my childhood basically first through IGN and then everything after and missed this is mind boggling. I mean I don’t have typical social media so that might be it. But I love so much your explanation of no labels even though I am primarily attracted to guys and a guy myself. Your explanation of demisexual hit me hard out of nowhere. Like the way you described your want for monogamy and needing to know someone before you can be truly sexual or sexually attractive and romantic with them is so impactful for me. I think I truly feel the same way and has helped me rethink or have a word as for what I have experienced in my 26 years alive lol. Thank you so much for sharing this! ❤

[@overwheat]

I found out about Demisexuality and figured out I identify as that just a couple a years ago and everything you talked about in regards to that here is almost exactly how I've felt for as long as I can remember. Finding out about Demisexuality made so much of my teens and early adulthood make so much more sense, definitely needs to be talked about more, thank you for doing so!

[@AlanahIRL]

🫡

[@JacobS5005]

I had only heard of the term in the last like year but didn’t really know what it was or meant but Alanah’s explainer here made so much sense and I feel the same way! Thank you! Labels are kind of “ugh” but also when you learn a term like Demi and learn what it means it can be so impactful to know others can and do feel the same

[@homesghouled]

thank you for sharing this!! as a demi/pan person, it's very cool to see others talk about their experience with the same identifiers, and to hear how they're similar/different for you! just on labels, since you mentioned that people who are bi are also pan or don't know the term - a lot of people who identify as bisexual could technically fit into the pansexual label, but it's really just up to whomever to decide what label suits them the best! which is to say, the bisexual label can be (and often is) just as inclusive of everyone as the pansexual label. these terms exist because we exist in a heteronormative society, and we as queer people have to figure out how to explain what our identity is (both for ourselves and for others to understand) within the constraints of those heteronormative terms, to a degree. a simile I like to use is that the way heteronormativity tends to describe identity is like an on/off switch, but every set of identities actually exist on a set of dials with a ton of variables that change from system to system. there are blanket terms that help people understand (including queer people who grew up with the understanding of their identity within the confines of the on/off switches), but they do still mean different things for everyone! to try to put it simply, every queer identifier exists on a spectrum, and none of it is so rigid as "this means this one thing", even if it feels hyperspecific in definition! (and just to be clear, I know you're speaking on your experience, and are explaining what these labels mean for you!! I'm only commenting for anyone being exposed to these terms for the first time, as some more general information on these identities). but, for example, my experience as a demi person is similar to yours, but some of what you've talked about doesn't resonate with me, but that doesn't make either experience less valid, nor does it make either person's demisexual identity less true! demisexual generally means there needs to be an emotional connection before sexual attraction, but that means different things for different people. it exists on the asexual spectrum, but it just lives somewhere in the middle of asexual and sexual, so the label itself is also a spectrum. some folks lean more towards sexual, some lean more towards asexual, some people might be right smack in the middle, and for some folks it can change every day! tl;dr: all of this is essentially to say, for anyone just being exposed to these terms for the first time, it's important to note that everyone's experience is different! these labels mean different things for different people. ask your queer friends what their labels mean to them, it's cool to learn about IMO!!

[@SinisterPuppy]

Glad to know with your video and some of the comments below I know I'm not alone. I've never been in a rush to be in a relationship and honestly have always been confused by the codependent types. Thankfully waiting paid off :)

[@itsa11good23]

This is awesome thank you for sharing! It’s honestly really nice to hear from other people who identify as Demi. I identify as queer to simply say not straight. I definitely find I’m more attracted to masculine people and if people call me gay that’s fine like the label is whatever. I have struggled a lot in the Demi space tho. Just as you described I don’t do one night stands, I don’t like making out or kissing people I don’t know or have a feeling towards. I don’t actively look for physical contact and stuff but if people want to hug me I will hug them (friends). I have tried dating apps with this idea that I will meet someone but honestly, it’s so weird for me. It’s like meeting someone as a friend to me. And like it takes me a while to come around or make a decision and most people don’t want to wait or put pressure on and that is a big turn off. 100% of the time I’ve met people on dating apps I’ve never caught those feels. It sometimes feels as someone who is Demi that you won’t find that one or there is a problem with you because everyone around you seems to just fall in and out of love. Easily kiss and do whatever with ppl. Which I’m fine with and have no problems it’s just not my lane and something that doesn’t interest me unless I became close enough to a person. But thanks for sharing. It’s great to hear other people talk about that. Helps me feel more normal being Demi cuz it’s so hard for other ppl to understand.

[@grapespace]

Never heard of the term "demisexual" before but I relate strongly with it. I appreciate the insight, Alana 👍

[@jipmeijerink2912]

A few years ago i noticed the jokes you made in funhaus videos clearly stating you're not straight. I kinda did the same thing and just made obvious jokes the same way. It made me comfortable to share who i am in small bits and now my friends know I'm pan- demi- and I didn't have like a big coming out or anything. So thank you for sharing because you have always helped me with this stuff and i love you for it.❤

[@sandroidmusic]

As a dude that just turned 45.. today i learned that all my life i've been Demisexual. Thx for that. Anyway, i'm of house: do whatever you want, with whomever you like, as long as it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone in the process. Labels are annoying, because underneath it all we are all meatbags 😊

[@MaxRamos8]

Yes evryone loves the Snu Snu 😈

[@sandroidmusic]

@@MaxRamos8 as long as it comes with emotional attachement? sure! 😂

[@Torsee]

Meatbags, or Sacks of Genetic Material! 😂😂

[@abeaconintheoffice]

I had to google what Demisexal was.

[@caseysammich2878]

The discussion around sexuality or discovering oneself is a big step for media. Thank you for taking that time! I'm pretty basic, so I did not have to really explore much about myself to discover what I am in terms of labels. My friends have struggled with finding their identity and defining who they are. Thank you again for adding to the discourse, even if it does not seem like a big deal to you. Even if it timed out, happy pride month anyway! Tell Banjo he is best boy, too.

[@kuyevon]

this is the healthiest comment section I've ever seen in a coming out video from a big creator. This says a lot about you and who chooses to follow you. Keep up the amazing work, Alanah!

[@mythun6735]

don't sort by new then, some of these are unhinged

[@bernardtruvillion2779]

agreed i was looking through the comments to see if we had A-holes on it so happy her fans are supportive which is what we should be.

[@itsjacobj]

Thank you for this. I’m basically where you’re at (I’m bi/pan and demi, though more platonically touchy with hugs and stuff), and it’s something I’ve been working with and through for years. So I’m happy to see someone else with this combo of attraction and who articulated it pretty much 95% accurately to how I approach dating/attraction

[@Ellthom]

I actually discovered that I was aromantic. I had been bi for a while but I knew there was something more to me than just that with how my lifestyle was, I hadn't known about aromantic until someone told me I may be asexual or on that spectrum and I looked it up and it pretty much described me. Thats been my experience this month :P

[@Doomsword0]

ayyy heck yeah

[@awesomereviews1561]

Of course you are….

[@SerWindpipes]

Super late to the comments on this, but wanted to say your descriptions are pretty accurate. I myself still use the term bi (as in just means more than one gender, even if people think it just means two) despite being probably on the pan side of things. As for demi, I never knew the term until my partner told me about it. It made a lot of things just click immediately for me, as I too do not feel comfortable with the ideas of dates and one night stands. Glad to see there are more of us out there living life to their fullest. Hopefully it was and can be an eyeopener to some people to come to terms with themselves. You rock, Alanah!

[@Bootleg_DLC]

As a fellow Demi, trust me 1 nights are no fun. Bruh forcing myself into the "norm..." my 3rd largest regret in life. But you nailed it on the head. I cant explain how much I get looked at funny or rudely for being Demi is just... you know. You know. It sucks for me cuz im comfortable being single, but I dont want to be! Enough of me. Breathe easy and I do believe alot of people will find this helpful.

[@esztercsorba]

Not really on twitter, but after seeing the Cyberpunk Judy videos I didn't really have any questions :D Thank you for posting this! It does mean a lot (=

[@Pureus]

This is probably the best 'coming out' out video I've seen, in that it's presented in a very cathartic and welcoming way. It's not pandering to anyone and you even say look if it helps others by saying something, sure. I found this quite refreshing in a weird way given how many people use this sort of subject matter to attract pride like "I'm not straight, be proud of me!" instead I can actually see this relating to people. Much love from a fellow Australian

[@livinglegend629]

Thank you so much for this video, just thought I was weird all these years and now I have some idea of what I actually may be thanks to you expressing yourself.

[@benjohnston19]

33yr old dude and this really resonated with me, thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's nice to know that other people feel similar.

[@Doomsword0]

2:38 I'm aro ace and this is kinda how I feel, it's just kinda who/how I am and nothing really changed since learning the term except having another lens to view things in. I attended a pride event this year, partly because finding that community is nice, and partly because a handful of folks I knew from a different thing would be there and wanted to see them, but anyway, yeah I enjoy hearing you say this bit specifically because that's very relatable and you're the first person I've heard say it, it's called pride that's the whole thing but I've been confused what I'm supposed to be proud of. Like cool that the rest of yall feel that but I'm a tad confused

[@TheMarslMcFly]

As a Bi-Dude who technically falls into Pan by definition, I use Bi cause A) people more likely have heard of Bisexual than Pansexual and B) the Bi Flag is cooler lol

[@maraque16]

Same, I'm asexual, but I have a micro-label that I fall under. I tend to not tell people what the micro-label is unless they are also asexual. Some people just get cagey when it comes to labels

[@WestSayeed]

No such thing as "Bi". You are gay son. 😂😂

[@BadNessie]

I love the finding-out-that-there's-even-a-word-for-it part. Did that not too long ago for myself, too. It's great, instead of doing the entire explaining of how things work with me, to be able to say I'm aroace... okay, and *then* to explain what *that* means and how it works (with me, at least). And yes, labels may be unhelpful in certain situations, and there may be as many variations as there are humans, but they can be quite helpful when it comes to conveying a quick headline instead of the entire book collection that is one person. 🤘

[@JPGameStuffs]

Didn't know of that term "Demisexual." I think that's what I am, tbh. I have to REALLY know someone.

[@story_phoenix]

It took me so long to figure out thats a pool noodle 😂 Appreciate you making this kind of video, it really is how a lot of us first come across these identities and experiences

[@Cavemanner]

Uh, so this actually just helped me out a lot. I've known of the term demisexual for years, but you explaining it the way you did made it REALLY click in my head. I'm demisexual. Like, for sure. I've always felt uncomfortable being around others and them talking about casually hooking up with people, and the only time I was ever on dating apps was when i was abusing stimulants in my early 20s and just wanted to bang no matter what (but still didn't, lol. Turns out I'm not fun to be around when I'm all geeked out, who woulda thunk it 😂). And the couple of times I've let friends set me up with people has just been awkward, since both times they were obviously expecting a "nightcap", if you know what I mean lol. So yeah, I've just been single and sexless for, like, ever. Not because I'm some gross troll (although that early 20s me would probably qualify), but just because the right combo of rapport and attraction has never come around. And the couple of times it did I was not in a place to make it happen. I guess I would say I'm pan as well, less so because I don't care what you got going on, but moreso because I'm into ALL of it 😂 but that I've known and been open about since shortly after high school. All that to say, thank you. These videos really do help people out!

[@blockboygames5956]

Thank you for sharing so honestly. I wish you every blessing. From a fellow Australian. Much love.

[@EarthenTiger]

5:43 I'm aromantic and asexual, but I definitely relate to that. I often describe beautiful/handsome people as “hot”, and it always confuses others. Anyways, happy gay!! 💖💛💙

[@paulgoddard7048]

Didn’t read it properly at first and thought it said “aromatic” 😊 I mean it’s great that you smell nice …..😂

[@EarthenTiger]

@@paulgoddard7048 When I said I confuse others I didn't mean this! haha

[@thevegabus]

Thank you Alanah for sharing yourself personally, even though you have no obligation. Can definitely help others feeling similar, who aren't as sure. Side note - was this an intentional thirst video for the gays, theys, and everyone in between?

[@AlanahIRL]

I don’t think there’s anything thirsty about this video :)

[@jeffreysherman8224]

He's like "I can't swim!" "You can! You're a dog!" 🤣 Don't know why but that had me rolling! 😂

[@plasma_scream]

I braved dating apps during covid and it helped me out as demi as it meant the talking phase was really elongated, and that’s how I found my partner and felt comfortable going on a date once restrictions lifted. Such a relaxed and positive coming out video!

[@nathanwakeman3138]

Before I start the video, I think you mentioned it before but congrats on officially coming out. Good to see creators doing this for there may be audience members who identify as well

[@DanteEyeoftheTower]

Ok so demisexual is a thing… I just thought I was weird. I’ve had so many interactions that I’ve had to explain to my friends and family, didn’t know it’s something that someone else has experienced… huh don’t know what to do with this information

[@craigw1701]

Thank you for sharing and being open about things; i know it helps people :)

[@nathaniellamb2154]

The Dad in me wants to congratulate you on acknowledging your attraction to gods with goat legs... But jokes aside, I think it is cool that you made this video not to make an announcement about yourself (I thought you had already announced this on 3 idiots and a broad) but rather to support those who might be having a harder time of it.

[@MunchiesPlace]

I appreciate you making this. I've been asking myself a few questions lately and now I feel like i'd like to get to know myself better about my sexuality. I've grown up in a very straight family, very religious family. But in school I had gay friends. It wasn't till after I was an adult that these terms, demi/pan/etc were reaching me and I started to see other ppl talk about them. I honestly thought I was straight till I started noticing i've been attracted to both girls and guys in my adulthood. And yes, Kate Beckinsale is one of them, haha. I love that women and follow her on IG. Makes me wish I was her friend and had a chance to get to know her. But yes building up bonds is so very important. Even if I don't identify as Demi, I have trust issues with people and have had many times gotten hurt by the ones I love. It almost made me completely dead to the idea of love and relationships. But i'm starting to bounce back. It just has been mentally hard to get around not being able to trust someone you love. I hope that makes sense. But Ty Alanah, I hope you had a happy Pride month with your friends.

[@laloVT91]

Demi here, dating apps stress the living hell out of me. 😅

[@Khotetsu]

I don't consider myself demi, but Alanah talking about that made my social anxiety flare up so bad. 😂

[@Pooh0Bear8]

Dating apps are gross for the fact you are shopping for humans. It is so bloody strange... Join a community group and meet people in person.

[@markrohan07]

@@Pooh0Bear8 So depending on where someone lives and what they're looking for, dating apps might be the easiest way to meet others who reflect their preferences. Sometimes people have social anxiety and dating apps might be easier to interact with people and then choose to go out on their terms. That's not to say apps are great but maybe don't just judge without knowing whats up.

[@Potatochief]

I think Dating Apps Stress is all out horriable things

[@nunpho]

I've never even tried a dating app. They're just so off-putting

[@AlexTheel]

Congrats Alanah! I hope this helps others. It is interesting to learn more about you as well. 🙌

[@justateddybear951]

Genuinely haven't met anyone else whose #1 is Kate Beckinsale. HELL YESS DUDE. I basically grew up on Underworld

[@SkeezleMcGruff]

Dude 🙌 I also only learned about Demisexual within the last 2-3 years. Def explained some things. I just thought I was off or not a “MAN” for not wanting to sleep with someone I didn’t know or didn’t have a close relationship with. Yep, not on any dating apps and basically cool w being single. I’m an only child and enjoy my solitude but fantasize about being in a deeper relationship.🤷🏼‍♂️ This video made me smile. You rock.😁

[@JosiahBradley]

I learned something here. I just assumed everyone had to know people and get to understand them emotionally before it was more. I can't be attracted to someone unless I've been friends or know them somehow. I just wish I lived somewhere I could be open or myself. Thanks for the candor.

[@goldfever4570]

Dating apps are a nightmare for us demi folk. No one seems patient enough. Thankfully I met someone outside the apps. After I then deleted the apps I realised how much they just don't work for me

[@StarQueenEstrella]

Speaking as an asexual (and a lesbian), dating apps are plain annoying. All my matches had ever wanted was the very thing I have no interest in, i.e. having sex.

[@JacobS5005]

Gay boy here but also feeling like I might be Demi too after hearing about the term and hearing how Alanah describes it I shared so many of her emotions and feelings on stuff. I’ve never had any dating apps and I’m like scared/“repulsed” of the idea of them cause I’m so scared of hook up culture and never finding someone who cares to get to know me. Totally get your perspective!

[@brahnuh]

it is SO hard trying to use apps when you’re on the ace spectrum! folks like to pretend they get it but they’re looking for “instant gratification” and it’s so effing hard. i finally got sick of them too.

[@galikit]

Do a reward-and-treat training program to get him interested - takes time and commitment!

[@UnvisibleGirl]

Also demi and thats pretty much how I feel about demi, Literally no idea how people can be so intimate with strangers 😬and dating apps are just hell. Hope doggo was brave and had a swim 😊

[@Omilogic]

Very similar to me. Only difference is I am straight, but I am also Demisexual and Sapiosexual. I have to know them to want to touch them and if they’re highly intelligent that is incredibly attractive to me, and I am extremely loyal as well. This video was really cool! I hope you post more like this! I hope you have a good day Alana! And I hope your dog warms up to the pool.

[@themagnificentmanbeard]

I guess I could consider myself partially demisexual, but it probably leans more towards sapiosexual because intelligence is more important than anything else to me. I couldn't see myself being intimate long-term with someone I didn't have a deep intellectual connection with. That's why I like texting a bunch before I get serious with someone - I'm a writer, and I want to see how they write before I commit. Literacy and creativity are usually huge indicators of intelligence, and so I seek those traits out in potential partners.

[@AlanahIRL]

I also care a LOT about how somebody texts me hahaha. Can straight up lose attraction based on the way they write.

[@themagnificentmanbeard]

@@AlanahIRL Especially when they start using single letters instead of words and get their "there, their, they're" mixed up, but sometimes I'll overlook smaller stuff like that if the substance is sound. Texting is great, but if I can also get them to RP with me and see how they design their character and how rich their narration and dialogue are, then I am in literary heaven LOL. Sometimes I'll have partnerships with people that are solely for erotic text roleplaying and we'll create entire worlds together and develop an intense romance between our characters without ever intending to meet IRL.

[@looney1023]

I've known for a while I was gay but have more recently come to the realization that I'm some degree of ace/demi and this was super nice to hear! I feel like people don't generally make coming out videos about being demi. It was especially confusing for me because hookup culture is so prevalent in the gay community and I just literally shut down and sweat like crazy whenever I've found myself in a situation like that.

[@lovmn38]

I’m a virgin at 54 and I have trust issues so I don’t care and I’m a straight man who has social issues with people

[@bananasean5145]

You the only change as a person after sex if being someone who has sex becomes part of your identity. Society makes it important but Society makes alot of nonsense important.

[@BrutalCarnage]

Stay strong brother!

[@rabbitfnord]

Same on both 🤍🖤💜🩷💛💙 So cool of you to share Alanah,thank you! Also can’t stand being touched even in the slightest 😅. In the rare chance the pup falls in,even tho it feels mean, it’ll be good for him to get a muscle memory of where the stairs are to swim to.

[@grooovydeadite]

Fellow queer/pansexual/demisexual here and yeaaah, i get it. Always knew i wasn't straight and figured labels later in life. Not so much for myself, mainly to make easier for others around me (especially the demi part)

[@GNRGNRGNRGNRGNR]

I've been struggling a lot with different aspects of my identity. I think i might be the same way. I'm 26 and never been in a relationship or done anything with anyone. Mainly because I've never met someone who i connect with on a personal level and the idea of casual dating or hooking up makes me really uncomfortable. Thanks for this video it was really informative and helpful

[@MtlRocker]

Alana: "I wanted to let you all know, that I'm me." All of us: "We know"

[@waynehenry127]

This whole not using dating apps or going on dates with random people is me too!! I am so glad im not the only one haha I thought it was just how i was raised lol. My mom always told me to make friends first. I hate the pressure the world puts on people to make sexual escapades and "accomplishments" part of our identity

[@supremeleader7863]

Love how chill u are about all this

[@BrandonWestfall]

Why wouldn't she be?

[@Trepanation21]

@@BrandonWestfall Because a lot of people aren't, and they feel compelled to make it their entire personality instead of just existing and chillin.

[@Checkmate1138]

@@BrandonWestfall Well, some people have a hard time having come to terms with their sexuality, or they are still uncertain even if they are confident enough to "come out". So it's rather nice for Alannah that it seems that she is indeed quite happy with herself and sure. For others who struggle with coming out, I'm sure she's a nice example for them to look up to in their journey to self-love and acceptance.

[@BrandonWestfall]

@@Checkmate1138 It's not something she's hid and it's been blatantly obvious if you've been around for any real amount of time.

[@Checkmate1138]

@@BrandonWestfall Well, more to the point then. She's already been open about it, apparently. I didn't know, I barely follow her since she left Funhaus.

[@jt3483]

Really really love this video and discussion for all the normal reasons... But also love that you did this whole floating on a pool noodle bobbing up and down lmao

[@RecklessFables]

A friend of 30 uears came out to me this weekend. They were bracing so hard I thought is was going to bea cancer announcement. 😂. We had a good laugh and a hug.

[@Mochocolate9k]

My inner gay man comes out when sephiroth is on screen 😍 lol

[@Mozts1]

The world is brighter and better when people are who they are. Thank you Alanah, even if it's a small gesture to you, it can mean a lot to people who enjoy your work (like me).

[@AlanahIRL]

❤️❤️❤️

[@mattyappricott1994]

This video is just you saying you’re just unapologetically you and that’s just awesome.

[@dani_i8942]

No, she's delusional and giving in to degenerate social trends. Shame on her and shame on you.

[@ssjbargainsale]

I didnt know there was a word for that, but as a straight man, I'm definitely demi. I always felt weird (other people made sure I felt like that) and sometimes even insecure with it, but its nice to hear that it has a word for it

[@loganthomson8243]

Fellow pan/ace person here! Really appreciate the comfortability and assuredness of this coming out video. Happy Pride ❤

[@AlanahIRL]

I definitely don't identify with ace but I get why demi is under that banner!

[@Raedrie]

I'm also pan and demi and I struggled SO MUCH with dating apps because I truly needed to get to know who I was talking talk to even start to find them attractive and want to hang out, but most people on them wanted to get straight to hanging out/being romantic and I was bewildered. It was not a successful time for me. 😅

[@God_Forger]

I haven't always known this about myself, but I'm bi and demi. I'm also largely unbothered about it and no one I know has ever cared (maybe it's the Aussie in me)

[@flaxenartemis]

Thanks so much for posting this, Alanah! As someone who had the life-changing realization that I was on the asexual spectrum in my 30s (because I didn't know it existed!), I really appreciate you making demisexuality more visible for folks like me. This is absolutely not an ad, but for people that would like to know more about the asexuality spectrum, which includes graysexuality, demisexuality, and asexuality, I highly recommend the book "Ace" by Angela Chen. It has been super helpful in my journey to learn more about myself and accept myself for who I've always been. Love to all ❤

[@JennaRaeWilliams]

As someone who is trans who is pansexual and demisexual, i'm so happy that you're bringing this up with your large platform. Also, a tip, maybe sit on the stairs of the pool and maybe show banjo its shallow on the steps and maybe ease him in on the stairs?

[@AlanahIRL]

I tried 😭

[@BlkZard]

Really appreciate this since there needs to be more awareness for folks on the demi/ace spectrum. I've been trying to be more vocal about it since my I learned my sister-in-law is a sex averse ace person. She can be strongly attracted to people in a romantic or "want to get to know you" way, but doesn't want to do anything more than make out or cuddle.

[@hatezis]

You are one of the coolest persons on Earth. Please keep up being cool.

[@firebird_613]

Hope you're doing well and having a blessed and Happy Monday ☺️🙏❤️ also great video keep up the amazing work 👍

[@Khotetsu]

For Banjo and the pool, have you tried slowly easing him into the idea? Like, sitting next to the pool with him for awhile, then with just your feet in the water on the steps, then sitting in the water on the steps, etc. If you had a way he could just wade in the water I bet that would help. My parent's dog won't go swimming but loves to wade in the ocean as far as she can go without having to actually swim (she pulled a muscle her first time swimming as a puppy from swimming too much and that was her first and last time swimming).

[@AlanahIRL]

Yeah, tried it several days in a row. Still trying!

[@smnbrgss]

It might be possible he doesn’t like water that’s deep enough where his paws can’t touch the bottom/ground. My dog is like that, thankfully I live near a lake which has a nice little dock where I can keep her on the leash and encourage her to swim around it in hopes of getting her to be more comfortable and confident. I can relate to this anxiety in that I don’t feel comfortable with water that’s anything more than 5ft deep.

[@Khotetsu]

@@AlanahIRL Good luck, convincing them they'll enjoy something they already clearly enjoy can be the hardest thing!

[@mattboje6747]

Awesome video Alanah! You be you in any way you want!