"Highly Sensitive People, Intrusive Thoughts, Toxic Family..." Ask Kati Anything!

[@ghostie7790]

Thank you for answering the question about childhood memories. What you said about "remembering the feeling" really stuck to me. Since I started therapy last year we've been trying to learn more about my anxiety which (I didn't know was a thing bc I was uneducated of mental health all my life. But, after realizing some things this week, I'm thinking that a lot of it might have to do with how much I was "disciplined" with a belt as a child.. Well. I'll definitely bring that up next time I have therapy. >_> Thanks Kati!

[@Katimorton]

Good morning everyone! I hope today's episode helps you pass the time :) If you like it, please consider sharing with other people... you never know who might need to see it. Thanks!!! xoxo

[@kat7770]

Kati Morton Thank you Kati and Sean for making these podcasts and ‘opinions that don’t matter’. It is really helping me out in a difficult time! I hope you are both looking after yourselves! We all appreciate you both 😀

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello Kati I just got my notification for your new video I was honestly waiting for this I was checking for your new video just want to say I'm watching now I honestly been down I wrote a question for you where u asked people to leave you a question sad my question was not picked as I really hoped for a answer just a quick question now I been getting shakes and panic in the shower also nightmare s in my sleep is it my anxiety that's doing it thanks for this new video kati 👍

[@nikkimckay860]

@@kat7770 hi like your comment I'm nikki I come here to watch kati s video s and keep myself calm through such a hard time also looking for new people to talk to and share my health issues with who understand and can feel comfortable in a safe space with other people who have same health issues as me it's ok if you don't reply back just being friendly 🙂👍

[@JustJakkie]

How do we get questions in for the next Ask Katie Anything?

[@kat7770]

@@nikkimckay860 Hi Nikki, thanks 😊 Have you watched Kati's most recent video on her other channel? She talks a bit about nightmares and your comment made me think of it because you are definitely not alone in this!

[@mjarkk]

Time stamps: 1. 03:19 Hi Kati! When I talk about my parents/ my childhood, I’m constantly worried I’m making things up / remembering it .. 2. 10:40 How to cope with being a highly sensitive person, especially when someone's just discovered it, within the last week o.. 3. 14:23 How does a therapist find giving online therapy? You’ve talked about how we might find it, but if you are doing this.. 4. 17:52 How to deal with self-harm intrusive thoughts during quarantine? Being constantly at home and not working is making my.. 5. 23:21 How to deal with your trauma when you feel like it's all out in the open because you were triggered and started talkin.. 6. 27:28 How to deal with toxic family/people I live with at this time? Not sure if you've answered this before 7. 31:34 The more isolated I am, the less I want company. Since quarantine started I even stopped talking to people on social m.. 8. 36:08 Mental health-related: Would it be treating you depression to quit things? I used to love gymnastics but lately, I don.. 9. 43:58 How do you find a fitting therapist? Like how do you determine, if you want to see a man or women, older or younger, e.. 10. 49:03 Ok, you say "Ask Kati ANYTHING" .... so what's the one grocery that you will NEVER run out of? Like you always have at.. 11. 51:39 How to deal with feelings of shame and embarrassment. I don’t think I can ever have a conversation face to face with.. 12. 58:31 Is it common to second guess abuse? I have CPTSD and sometimes wonder if I am making it all up. Sometimes I don't reme.. Please correct me if i'm wrong these are auto generated :)

[@luxsarrazine1141]

Relating to number six. Everyone will start fighting and I’ll politely ask my mom and my sisters to stop fighting because I know that it’s going to escalate further. And then I get yelled at for saying that. I can’t go to my room because then I’m cornered and I can’t just tell my mom to leave me alone because like that doesn’t work. I’ve tried. What I do though is I go on walks and bike rides. I used to do that even before quarantine because I found that me physically leaving the house is the only way to get the yelling and fighting to stop. So I leave anywhere from fifteen minutes to five hours. It depends on how bad the argument was. But don’t worry even when I leave the house I’m still respecting social distancing

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

I hear you. Not sure if you're still in that situation, though, for me, it was putting headphones on and turning up the volume. You'll get out eventually and be on your own. The situation will not last forever. Sending you good thoughts. 🤜🏻🤛🏻💪🏻👍🏻🌻☀️

[@tooba1819]

For whatever reason, hearing this in the background is so soothing. Thank you Kati for remaining committed to your community despite all the challenges. I feel like observing your perseverance throughout the years has allowed me to fully trust in you and in myself in the healing journey. Thank you.

[@hannahl4474]

I was not expecting that “I love you” at the end, and it totally made me stop in the middle of my workout. I couldn’t help but smile. Such a simple phrase, but it holds so much value. Thank you for all of your videos! I think it’s safe to say we all love you too!

[@SusieQ78]

Ha...I totally didn't expect anyone to "like" my random goofy question..so when I heard you reading that question, coke flew out of my mouth from laughter. I was like "what the what". I had to go look at the question to see that it for real had thumbs up. Well, you need chickens bc fresh eggs are soo soo much better than store bought ones!!! And my 2nd must have is candy...and my 3rd is Mr. P 🍕

[@PRoseLegendary]

We always have 3 things: Tea, Milk, and chocolate. If any of those run out we are going to the shops.

[@sydneycredle7138]

Is it just me or does anyone else wish Kati would do more vlog type videos! I just love watching about people’s lives haha. Thanks for all the answers Kati! We appreciate you 💜

[@dunjapaj8849]

Also here! :D

[@missywoford1809]

"I'm weird" I think that makes you a cool therapist. My therapist is super weird and that's part of the reason I adore her. I knew the first session that she was weird and it's part of the reason we 'clicked' so well. I also love that you cuss (mine does too, yet another reason we clicked so well) Thanks for addressing the whole "feeling like you're making things up" and pointing out that our feelings are valid and it doesn't matter what was going on in our parent's lives, they should have shown up and been good parents etc. My therapist told me basically the same thing in different words but that's one of those things that feels good to hear every time, ya know? And I'm sure that lots of other people needed to hear it too! (It's true folks! I've now heard it from two super cool therapists!) Love your channel, loving the podcast, please keep up the great work. Stay healthy

[@eliana93fer]

First of all I'd like to express that always I'm feeling anxious I find your videos incredibly soothing and supportive, so thank you. Also I loved that you shared a part of your in this video, great to know you a little better!

[@tash5052]

Thank you kati for answering someone's question about toxic people, I'm so glad that you are putting information out there to help people through this. No one talked to me about what a toxic person was growing up, I ended up leaving home at 17 (I had literally just graduated high-school) and joining the military just to go get away. Thank you for everything you do!

[@nicole-ww7lj]

Yayy, next episode of AKA!! 😍 Also I know I should ask question on the community tab but just in case I forget (like I always do haha) I am writing it here: I am recovered from an eating disorder (in 99%). I am wondering if the thought in my head saying „maybe I am not that hungry, maybe I will skip a meal” is my ed thought or maybe because I am not moving enough due to quarantine my body is just saying that I don’t need that much energy? I am trying to be intuitive and listen to my body but I don’t really know whether I can trust myself entirely or not? Thank you so much for everything you do, you helped me so much and I learned a lot from your videos. Lots of love!

[@shay1525]

Im a highly sensitive person and use to get so much stick about it from people,teachers, family.....jokes on them now im more sensitive 😂 but Its benefited me in more ways than not...also I loved how your face lit up talking about ur hobbies 🤗

[@mackenzieartz338]

Great idea about places to go during online/video counseling sessions! I felt so uncomfortable sitting in my room while my husband was in the next. I never thought about going out into my car, thank you Kati!

[@matildehelbojohansen9439]

I was actually the one to ask the question about your hobbies. Im glad it made you feel good. My hobbies are actually baking as well. When I was 12 I started baking wedding cakes and people could order cake from me. Thats really one of my proud sides. And then gymnastics as well, which I will keep doing

[@steelstrings87]

Man, the "making things up" question really resonated with me because I'm staying with my mom in the quarantine and we've had some conversations about my childhood and she definitely tends to minimize things...my dad was an alcoholic and had bipolar 1 so there was definitely a lot of stuff going on...but it just makes me worry that I'm overblowing things, and I think it gets me a little stuck . I'm for sure also a highly sensitive person...I feel like people have told me I'm too sensitive since the cradle, but I think that goes hand in hand with my codependency, oops. It's nice to think of it as a super power. It's hard because I feel other peoples' feeling and my own feelings are ENOUGH God bless therapy though, lol. I'm so so grateful for my therapist. I miss being in the room with my therapist. I don't like doing it online either. I'm a teacher and it truly sucks so much to have all the boring shitty parts of the job without the joys of seeing the kids.

[@treatmenice1564]

I'm impressed! Kati is really telling how it is!

[@ezratijssen]

yay my day has already been made :) was looking forward to this

[@pereirafe22]

Bless you at 25:42!

[@eloisemarie5219]

Thank you so much Kati. It's been a year into this pandemic and I've gone back into therapy but your podcasts really help during the times that I don't have sessions.

[@naejil8870]

I think that my superpower trough beeing sensitive is how well I can understand animals and connect with them.

[@nicole-ww7lj]

Currently I am not in therapy so I didn’t have an online session with a therapist but I’m still on meds so I had a session with psychiatrist. I went to my car to feel safe but it still was weird and like you said - it’s not the same connection. Well... there is no reason to complain, we do all we can to deal with this extreme situation and I guess we just have to push through. Your podcasts really help with calming myself down so thank you. Stay safe and healthy x

[@Mari-hb5do]

This just popped up on my recommendations but it was right on time wth. Thank you, youtube!!!

[@christianlamb]

You're amazing!! Such great value you're providing here!! Thank you Kati!!❤❤🙏

[@Noor-xi1bd]

How to deal with being attached to your school counselor and what are the reasons that I'm attached to her? How to deal with not seeing them because of quarantine?

[@Chillingcomfy]

Transference. You can search about Transference. Kati Morton talked about it. It's normal. I hope you feel safe to talk about it with your counsellor. Xoxo

[@Deanpeach]

Hi Kati, I love what you said about maybe having a session in your car. A few years back it was time for me to tell my family about the abuse I had suffered years ago from my Mother's boyfriend... Being in my car allowed me to feel safe enough to feel my feelings without being questioned by anyone, I wrote out the letters I gave to them. Even now if I feel like screaming or shouting or even singing loudly and terribly that's where I go :)

[@chiquitabee1]

Omg! I came across your channel. You’re are so down to earth & understanding. You’re covering many of the topics I have dealt with with my peers ( closes one) they never seem to get it. They think I choose to feel that way n I can easily stop, as if it was a choice. Thank you so much for your time. N NOT to mention; there are many individuals in the family circle are in the closet about expressing their moods/feelings , afraid to the stigma. I’m sure there are many that can relate to this/ another thing; There’s is another issue they think it’s a make-up ( Spiritual awakening) if I speak about the dark night of the soul. They avoid the subject. I’m only sharing this personal matter , to see how many others experience this issues. Thank you and I love love your persona!

[@abby2473]

Legit been feeling depression and anxiety together a lot lately. I've been struggling a lot with my depression and most of the time wont get out of bed or wont shower or eat. This makes it a million times harder to do college work and I haven't done any of it even tho I have tried because I cant focus my brain onto it. However, because of my anxiety Im panicking so much about what college are going to do/thin/say etc.

[@superdooper1830]

Hey Abby. I have this same kind of loop, I’m too anxious to do work at home/homework and only feel able to do work during class. Now we’ve got quarantine I’m in a loop of feeling guilty for not doing work and feeling extreme anxiety about doing it. Plus the depression, my psychologist mentioned task swapping which at least makes me feel like I’m achieving something even if it isn’t what I ‘need to’. So like doing something else small to feel some sense of achievement when you feel so down ❤️ I’m not good at recognising my achievements but I try to think back on what I did during the day that was more than staying in bed, which helps a little.

[@CK-wu9vd]

Thank you so much Kati for taking the time to do these podcasts. I haven't finished watching yet but I relate to the majority of the questions. It's been such an odd year, where so many stressors I ignored are coming to the surface. Like life threw everything to awaken my soul path at the same time. So again thank you so much!

[@ToEKnee213]

I listen to most of my videos on 1.5 or 1.75, but I like that it's not garbled when I watch it. Some others I can't understand at all.

[@Dman9fp]

Yeah I'd be careful with that lol, so easy to just listen to words and not fully digest them. A lot like speed reading, depends on the contents but some very deep videos and books must be read slowly/ repeated a few times to get the whole picture sometimes

[@sherylw4599]

Question 9 - I really appreciate the little script around 48:08 you offered for how to bow out with a therapist if you don't click. Sometimes I know the feeling I'm having or the action I want to take, but struggle to find words to express it succinctly and in a non-damaging (if that's the right word) way. Thank you !

[@milenaciaramella3524]

Thank you so much for the time that you spend for us ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@nikkimckay860]

Hi Milena I'm nikki I like your comment I agree kati is great so calming to me to watch these videos do u know how you get a question answered by kati ? 🙂

[@milenaciaramella3524]

She is always very kind and she tries to always answer👍 so I just suggest to write your question here and maybe she will answer 👍

[@kaydeebug24]

1. 3:21 Hi Kati! When I talk about my parents/ my childhood, I’m constantly worried I’m making things up / remembering it wrong / not being objective. How do you deal with this? How can you help someone understand their childhood when all you have is some blurred memories from only the patient’s perspective? Thanks and take care x 2. 10:45 How to cope with being a highly sensitive person, especially when someone's just discovered it, within the last week or so. Also, how to think positively about it, if the discovery is causing grief. 3. 14:37 How does a therapist find giving online therapy? You’ve talked about how we might find it, but if you are doing this during the lockdown, what’s it like for you? 4. 17:57 How to deal with self-harm intrusive thoughts during quarantine? Being constantly at home and not working is making my intrusive thoughts more loud and persistent, which often drags me to anxiety attacks. Any tips on how to calm this down? 5. 23:25 How to deal with your trauma when you feel like it's all out in the open because you were triggered and started talking about it in therapy, but now therapy is on hold because of corona... It feels like this wound is cut open and no one to help me close it because it's not physical, and not Corona related, so not urgent. 6. 27:25 How to deal with toxic family/people I live with at this time? Not sure if you've answered this before 7. 31:42 The more isolated I am, the less I want company. Since quarantine started I even stopped talking to people on social media. Why and how to fix it? 8. 36:10 Mental health-related: Would it be treating you depression to quit things? I used to love gymnastics but lately, I don’t. Should I quit since I don’t enjoy it and it’s kinda stressing me out or should I continue because I used to love it and probably still do besides my depression? I have always wondered how anxiety and depression can be related. I mean I believe it’s true, I have been diagnosed with both, but anxiety makes me worry about everything and depression makes me not care about anything. That kinda contrasts feelings and I’m super confused about it. 40:01 Not mental health-related: If you were not a therapist what would you like to be? What are some of your hobbies? And what were your hobbies when you were young? 9. 44:03 How do you find a fitting therapist? Like how do you determine, if you want to see a man or women, older or younger, etc. - and how to distinguish between what you want and what you 'should'. I know you can 'try' them but that can be both expensive and overwhelming. Thank you for all you are doing! I hope it makes sense, English is not my first language. 10. 49:12 Ok, you say "Ask Kati ANYTHING" .... so what's the one grocery that you will NEVER run out of? Like you always have at least one in your fridge or cabinet..mine is cokes. I'm just goofing on my question of course and can't imagine anyone else would be asking the same question lol. 11. 51:33 How to deal with feelings of shame and embarrassment. I don’t think I can ever have a conversation face to face with this person that I embarrassed myself too. So now I’m left feeling ashamed 12. 58:33 Is it common to second guess abuse? I have CPTSD and sometimes wonder if I am making it all up. Sometimes I don't remember everything, just bits, and pieces and that makes me worried I am lying about it.

[@admirbarucija2018]

Looking forward to watching once I finish my online classes for the day!! 💕

[@Katimorton]

Thanks for being here Admir!

[@admirbarucija2018]

Kati Morton You’re absolutely welcome Kati! :)

[@sarahfile93]

Some of my hobbies arrrre Baking, adventures!! Day trips, exploring a new city, being in nature or in the mountains, jet skiing, biking, painting and drawing

[@lilykristian1257]

Thanks for these. Been feeling extremely anxious and unable to sleep and watching these calms me a bit.

[@kaydeebug24]

Just started therapy about a month ago, for the first time! Has been over google hangout. Honestly, I don't think I would have actually gone in person for therapy, I was waaaaay too nervous and scared and it seemed like too much to do it in person. It's hard for me because I'm battling between feeling so lonely all the time (just me and baby, hubby works insane hours) and feeling kinda pathetic that I look forward to my therapy sessions just so that I have someone to talk to :(

[@Bianca_Bayo]

Thanks Kati for answering my questions. My treatment team is stil figuring out how to do online treatment because they are not used to do that. But i talked to my main therapist about it and starting next week i will see her weekly again but behind glass or something, they made a special room to do face to face sessions again for those who really need it. But i felt like thet left me hanging for a month now, so i was really struggling. But hopefully things will get better when i will have sessions again next week. Xx

[@michellep1116]

Thank you for this Katie, I nedded to hear and understand this. Giving you a big hug!

[@claire-ui9fh]

Thank you very much for answering my question Kati! Gave me a lot to think about. Take care everyone :)

[@cybercab]

lol. You said you like to talk quickly--of course I'm playing this a 3X speed :) Seems good to me! Nice show!

[@ciphereleftheria9028]

I really appreciate AKA because I recently stopped seeing my psychiatrist. I used to have access to free consultation bc she is a university psychiatrist, but I lost access to that when I graduated. I'd love to continue consulting with her, but I simply do not have the means to do so. So I'm really happy to come across AKA because it answers a lot of my questions and it does really help me with understanding my depression and my traumas. This means so much to me. Sending love from the Philippines 🇵🇭

[@DAPalomares]

Love it when you have guests on the show.

[@Abcjo30]

When you're new to therapy, any advice on how to not censor your responses to hard questions? I just started seeing a therapist and have been given some initial paperwork and questionnaires to answer, and I find myself withholding information and being unable to push through the mental block of sharing everything I'm feeling. This has been something I've always struggled with and is one of the reasons I started therapy in the first place. I'll definitely bring this up the next time there's a community appeal for questions, but I thought the comments section might have some initial advice :) thanks!

[@ЖаннаЛатышева-ч5ч]

Thank you for this podcast, Kati. Please do take your time to go through the questions, stay hydrated and just be human. ❤️

[@kiskillilla223]

To the question on how to find the right therapist: I had therapist in a semiresidential therapy setting who I couldn't choose myself. It was a male therapist and I thought that I would NEVER tell him anything. It turned out that he was the first therapist I would tell about things that I NEVER wanted to tell anybody. I think it's important to be open and listen to one's gut feeling and see if the therapist and oneself 'click'. While I appreaciated that male therapist and the way he did therapy very much, others didn't. Other patients got along very well with another therapist while I knew that in one on one therapy it wouldn't work for me. In short: chemistry is very important between therapist and patient. If you and your therapist get along well with each other, it makes the hard work of therapy a little easier at least in the interpersonal part of it.

[@joleanoconnell8866]

Hi. Thank you for answering my question about being an HSP and I have already watched that video. I haven't found anything positive about this and I'm way too overwhelmed. I don't like this at all. The problem is that I've spent so much time, suppressing my thoughts/feelings, in general, for various reasons that I won't get into at the moment, and have been forcing myself to do the opposite. I keep wanting to deny that I'm an HSP, because I don't want to live my life, being tired all the time. And I know I've gotta figure out how to cope with it, and maybe it'll be better, and much easier to manage, then. I've thought about how I'm just feeling so much, because I've just started making myself stop suppressing my thoughts/feelings so much, and that I'm not an HSP, and will get over it when I figure out how to never suppress them, if that's even possible. But, thinking back, there are too many things in my life that screams HSP. I'm so, so depressed.

[@candytwiggytwist3506]

Thanks to my high sensitivity I sense what people feel about me, even if they say otherwise. Very helpful 'skill' :)

[@lolagarza8982]

Thank you So So Much For answering my question!!!!!! You made my day 🙌🏼 I actually have read one of the books from Brené Brown and plan to read “I Thought it was just me” by her. Your advice is very clear and to the point 👌🏼 I will work on building the courage to talk to that person I embarrassed myself too 💪🏼 Also can’t wait for your second book to come out 😃

[@askkatianything]

You're so welcome!

[@PRoseLegendary]

Brene Brown is AMAZING. Has anyone been listening to her "Unlocking Us" podcasts she's been making while in lock down? So good.

[@wolfferoni]

When you're a highly sensitive person and have a toxic family... Unfortunately, what Kati described wouldn't work in my situation. If I were to dare speak back while being yelled at, it would get so much worse and I'd be forced to sit and bear it for longer. Being sensitive also means being easy to cry, at least in my case, so that also doesn't help because to the toxic person, it fuels them even more because they're "winning". Man, some people really should never be parents. Also, adding on to the last cptsd question and making up memories of abuse etc, it's even more difficult when our abusers aren't awful all the time and there are some positive memories or interactions or if they used to be abusive but aren't anymore so you doubt yourself and tell yourself "it wasn't that bad". I'm curious about the making up memories thing though because I'm pretty sure it's been proven that the more you try to recall an event, the more you recall details incorrectly or something? I remember reading something about it with regards to eyewitness testimonies, especially when feelings of fear or stress are involved. Although, I suppose in a therapy situation it doesn't really matter about it being completely accurate. What matters is how we felt about it and how whatever was done to us wasn't okay.

[@matthenry3437]

Hello Katie....I have been watching your videos for awhile now I enjoy them and they do help. One question I have which I thought was normal but I question that now...I have very little memory of my childhood...very few birthdays, holidays...etc. I’m not sure what I should do about or should I just leave it alone?

[@stoffls]

Interesting, as always! And my hobbies? I love music, play guitar, my band is currently suspended due to Corona. I also love to listen to music, I have quite an extensive collection of records. And I love the outdoors as well. Walking in the woods is so soothing for me, my mind can really wander there. This is great. And swimming in a lake or the sea, this gives me peace. And sitting on the beach, just watching the waves. I can do that for hours! About finding the right therapist: I think you also need some luck. And then there is the moment you know. When I first called my therapist, I immediately felt good and this hasn't changed in 2 1/2 years. But it was a long search before that.

[@jac6753]

Thank you Kati, I love watching your videos, they made me inspired to start my own KZbin channel about mental health

[@madambutterfly7641]

Hi Katie, I've really been enjoying your content sense u saw your google talk, so I had a question, I was recently diagnosed with Complex PTSD + PMDD & I was given some suggestions on types of treatment but with the current situation it's been harder then normal to find a quality mental health professional & I was wondering what some constructive ways to help me in between time until I come on board with a mental health professional. Ps I really liked the impluse log.

[@milenaciaramella3524]

Thank you so much 😊

[@hannuliljemark3119]

Kati, it would be amazing if you could get Dr. Steven Phillipson as a guest on your podcast to discuss ERP, OCD, pure-O, relationship OCD and intrusive thoughts. I've listened to a lot of your content and as a family member of someone who suffers from intrusive thoughts, in our case impulse logs, fact checking, coping skills or plain talk therapy just don't cut it. I'm sure you have more experience than we do with our one family anecdotal experience, but it would be informative to listen to you talk to Dr. Phillipson about this subject. Any mental disorder is hell, but intrusive thoughts and relationship OCD can wreak havoc to family, parenting and romantic relationship.

[@dorishaffer4055]

You’re amazing! Thanks you.

[@Mari-s1n]

Hello, oooh this is my topic.I have a very very hectic family situation with two kids a husband who made me think that i am psychbitch when i try to ask him about some situation he doesnt like..he is the one who is very manipulative, agressive in words , he yells all the time :(( playing games thru all night..and i realy try everything to make the whole situation little calm..but there are always suprises..yes i had a very bad childhood too..we got separeted but because of his work he needed to come back and now..i am emotionaly destructed..nobody cares..and cant aford in this situation to go to speak to somebody ...i dont know..

[@Mari-s1n]

he is with because of the all corona virus thing,he needs to work somewhere..but it is really bad .I just feel like nothing helps anymore ,i just feel like garbage..because of neighbors i feel anxiety i feel like everybody is trying to avoid me and my children and really makes me sad and no worth..he is charming everybody around but at home he is just monsterous..and he is trying to hide things...and i know something is happening all the time..and then i am even more sad..it is like a neverending story of emotion...i try to sleep good,try to eat good,try to workout my body...nothing helps...when i see situations where he is making a clown out of me...i just wanna tell him...but it doesnt help anymore

[@jovanapetrovic1542]

I love this! Thank you so much, answers were very helpful!

[@EbayWay2Shop]

Over the years I have been in therapy for my OCD. Many of them have fallen away: Eating one thing at a time. ordering my 'frige and touching door frames before going through them (Those have all fallen away as I worked on them and others. however my fear of my home being burned down when i get home is a constant. I live in an apartment complex of 40 units. This is a obsessive thought i seem to have always had. it goes up when I see a moving van in the apartment complex parking lot. I have been discharged from mental health... but was told i can come back at any time. For years i have "Stuffed" this fear. But i have decided that I need to deal with this obsession now. But now that I have decided this, when i called to set up an appointment, I am told that the current agency is understaffed. So I Have been redirected to other people/agencies and it has been left up to me. I am a bit embarrassed to admit to a person i dont know that i have this fear (in my mind i KNOW its irrational). so Im finding it hard go to a stranger and admit this. how can i get past this?

[@kerrylarmand6301]

Thats what that is....? I have a super power? Cool. I sit in my car often. To be alone. To be quiet. To have no interruptions. Yeah, I think its an awesome place for a session!

[@esterbengoa6077]

I love my car. It's such a comforting place to be in. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to talk to. It's my happy place.

[@mimibelta259]

Thank you Kati for doing these right now

[@fromeveryting29]

I seem to have become very sensitive, or way less tolerant, to stress. I study art history in Norway, and have had a home exam (don't know how common they are in other countries, but here it's a common form of exam) during the quarantine, and am currently at the end of my last one. This last one has been a 7-day exam. It's honestly one of the most difficult things I've done in all my years in education. The elevated stress level for 7!!!! days 24/7 has completely broken me down. I have a moderate level of depression already, and this on top... I can't concentrate and many times thought about just not delivering. Now I'm somewhere over half done and I have 1 day left... It's possible for me to deliver a half-assed exam if I spend the next 24 hours (including night) at this, which I guess is better than an automatic failing grade from not delivering. But I'm sooooo exhausted, I barely even care. I know I don't care about the grade. The only reason I want to have it done is to not feel like I failed, after, when I look back, giving me even more negative emotions. I barely have time to eat, my home has started falling apart, last night I couldn't sleep until 6:30 in the morning, and I accidentally missed the toilet and peed on the floor this morning. I'm completely coming apart. Help :( Anyway, it seems to me that our ability to handle stress is very very low during this time. I'm not particularly stressed out about the coronavirus personally. And I'm an introvert and don't really miss meeting lost of people, but I really struggle with managing "productivity" without externally enforced structure. Since I'm home all the time everything feels like "tending to my home"-"eating"-"relaxing"-time, not "work" time.

[@eggfishy]

Thank you for your videos, Kati! Do you have one on how to recognize abusive behaviors in your boss? I would love to watch one!! (If you’re curious about why I ask) My boyfriend is an emotionally abusive relationship with his boss. The field is marketing and software development. It’s worse with him working remote now due to the lockdown. His boss calls it the corona cold and is so afraid people aren’t working that he became even more controlling than he’s always been. For example, last week my boyfriend posted an Instagram story at 9 pm on a Friday night and his boss texted his roommate (works for the same company) upset they weren’t working. My boyfriend works days, nights, weekends to meet impossible deadlines and when he can’t meet them he’s forced to humiliate himself in front of his company and outline the ways he failed even though he was set up to fail. They do this to employees to avoid giving them raises. In fact, my boyfriend was promoted and led to believe it would lead to a raise, but it did not and now he’s swimming in responsibility and blame. He even got reprimanded for updating his Linked In with his new title. His boss has turned his employees against each other. I listen in on his Zoom meetings and am appalled every time. I’ve even heard him make comments about me, and he doesn’t know me. Anytime we have a conflict in our relationship, my boyfriend breaks down because he just can’t handle any more conflict than what he already deals with. He has insomnia and anxiety. He is also prone to being a victim of abuse. He had a neglectful parent, was highly affected by divorce and death in the family, and his past serious relationship was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I try to be a safe space for him but I can’t control who he works for. He knows it’s not healthy, and he has plans to quit, but today his boss called him making sure he’s doing alright and told him to take the rest of the day off. I don’t trust that this wasn’t manipulative.

[@ysor16]

Thank you so much for answering my question about your experience of giving online therapy. I was interested to know whether you offer that to your patients and what it’s like for you. I actually do video therapy all the time, as I live a long way away from my therapist, but she is amazing and I’m used to it that way. I can understand why phone wouldn’t work so well though. I bet your patients are all super grateful to still get to speak to you during this time 🙏🏻 Sending positive thoughts from the UK XX

[@tenderheart4807]

Is it okay if I don't want to leave my house for more than a year? (I do it only when it's really necessary but I never go out just to go for a walk with friends and so on) I am depressed now. I have a progress in my treatment but I still don't want to leave my house. How can I deal with it? I need to go to work and I understand that working offline can help me earn more money than online...But this motivation doesn't work🤷‍♀️ (English is my foreign language so I'm sorry for making any mistakes)

[@natanata2144]

👍

[@Chillingcomfy]

What makes it hard to go outside? Do you feel the world caving in to you? Is it anxiety? Maybe journaling can help you out. I know it may suck to journal but it's from that, that we can somehow find something and learn why.

[@tenderheart4807]

@@Chillingcomfy I've tried journaling (you mean writing down some things, don't you? I'm still learning English and "journaling" is a new word for me🙈) I simply don't know the reason why I'd like to stay in a house...Earlier I was afraid to go out in the street, I had fears but now I don't have fears, I CAN go out, I can go and buy food on my own when I need it, I can talk to strangers when I need information..It's like I have no desire to go out. And I cannot find out the reason...I thought a lot on this topic but in vain...Anyway thank you for your answer! I'll keep on thinking about the reason what makes it hard

[@Chillingcomfy]

@@tenderheart4807 yes. I meant to write how you feel if possible everyday. It's from there that I learned the possible roots of my pain, my possible triggers, how I feel and see the picture as a whole. start small. It's okay to take ONE step at your own pace as long as you TOOK that step. That's what matters. I was also very anxious to talk to people and go out but don't worry, it takes time. Don't rush. Huuggss i hope you can talk to someone you can trust

[@tenderheart4807]

@@Chillingcomfy yeah, I understand what you mean, I guess I should try to write my thoughts down every day, maybe it will be easier to find out a reason. Thank you for your support🤗 I feel myself a bit better after sharing my feelings and getting response from you:) I hope you also have someone you can trust and you can talk with!

[@milenaciaramella3524]

I love you and your videos more than everything ❤️🇮🇹👍💪

[@nikkimckay860]

Hi everyone here and hi kati I look forward to these ask kati anything podcast every week have to remember when you do these videos so i remember to watch them right now your video s have been helping me iv felt calm after watching them I hope I can get a question to you next time you do another video that be good to watch you answer a question I sent you thank you so much for all these videos you do for all of us means a lot I'm honestly a mess right now you are my therapy while I am not able to see anyone right now your great so calming 👍🙂

[@thomasjacobson7616]

Thank you and I hope you will do this again.

[@naddyn685]

This is a lovely vlog from you especially it’s about yourself

[@heathercee9290]

Hi Kati, I'm hoping you could do a video on things we can do to feel we are part of the solution. I live in Nova Scotia, and there was a mass shooting this weekend. I didn't know anyone who was hurt or killed but I know a lot of people who are hurting. It feels weird to reach out to people about people I didn't know. I'm struggling with all the emotions I'm feeling, and feeling like I shouldnt be as sad as I am. I want to feel I'm doing something that will help our community, and help me feel like I'm moving through this grief. Thanks for considering this, and for putting free help online.

[@susanharkema2888]

If we have a pressing question, where should we post/send it? IG or in comments of any video, etc. Thanks as always for insights and realness, Kati!

[@monicabliss8348]

I’ve always preferred having female therapist and previously they were always older than me. My current therapist is the same age as me which sometimes feels weird but the older I get the harder it’s going to be to find older therapists

[@mariahwoode5168]

How to find or pick the fight therapist? What kind of therapist should I see. How do I go through the whole process from the start at home to finding the right fit of one to sit in front of. I want to go through past, family, feeling, strategies and skills, future, work, if I fall on a disorder spectrum and how to deal with that, should or could I get medicine. Trust is a little hard for me and fear is a big problem. Thank you for your videos, if want a therapist much like you. Thanks

[@xsecretxxstephiex]

Anyone know what book she was talking about? When she spoke about being highly sensitive? :)

[@randombro3013]

I am a student and I have a crazy exam coming up in two months that will determine my career because our system sucks but I am so unmotivated and sad and I am constantly overthinking and I can't focus...I am afraid that I won't pass if I continue like that:( any advice?

[@tenderheart4807]

Hi! Write down your strengths: the exams you've successfully passed, the research works or any other tasks you've done well. And keep this sheet of paper on your table so that you can see it as often as possible. +learn information for your exam as hard as you can. I hope it will help you! I was writing my Master research work when I was deeply depressed and I understand how hard it can be to focus your attention on study...If it can inspire you - I've successfully graduated from university although I thought that I would fail

[@tenderheart4807]

I hope my thoughts are clear to you, English is a foreign language for me, I'm sorry for any mistakes

[@tenderheart4807]

And I wish you lots of luck and I'm sure that you can pass your exams well!

[@randombro3013]

@@tenderheart4807 thank you so much...I will try that. I think that I am overthinking this and believing that if I tell myself that I will pass then the disappointment of not passing would be bigger...idk if that makes sense English is not my first language either.

[@tenderheart4807]

@@randombro3013 I'm happy to help you! I've graduated from university a few months ago and still remember how stressful the final exams are... Oh, your English sounds pretty good,I thought you were a native speaker or live in an English-speaking country

[@melissahatfield2475]

Love these so much thankyou

[@Katimorton]

You're welcome Melissa :)

[@nikkimckay860]

Hi there Melissa im nikki I like your comment it's nice these videos are helpful to me aswell they help make things a bit better can I ask please how can I get a question sent to kati 🙂

[@melissahatfield2475]

Nikki Mckay hey yah so go to her personal community page and just ask away it’s better to get in there early when she first sets up the question cause then more people will see it and then she’ll see it. Hope you have a great day❤️

[@nikkimckay860]

@@melissahatfield2475 thank you for your reply and advice on how to get a question seen and answered by kati I did leave question for this video but sadly wasn't picked or answered I'm not in kati s community I just watch and follow her videos or read the posts basically just subscribed to her channel and Facebook thanks though I'll try get a question in nice to of met you again thanks 👍

[@melissahatfield2475]

Nikki Mckay if you are subscribed to her channel you’re apart of the KZbin community. Just go to her channel and slide to the right and you’ll find community, click on that and ask.

[@free2bwild913]

I’m a highly sensitive Empath. The governor just announced that construction may begin onMay 7....5 days. I am confined in a nature-less condo and terrified I will go insane. For three summers I am woken at 7:20-7:30am to the back up beeping from the trucks and slamming down “explosions” of their front loaders. With chronic pain from permanent back damage, sleep is vital. I cannot get a breeze by opening a window (the AC is broke) because the noises are louder. I’m afraid my nerves cannot take a fourth summer living like this. Cannot afford to move I am living on Social Security disability. I might just have to leave for summers and live in my car or a tent somewhere with natural nature sounds. Please any advise? I’m a laid back quiet simple woman, it takes quit a lot to have something “get” to me like this...help me, I haven’t had anyone check on me. The friends I thought I had used me or broke my heart.

[@ApequH]

Can you adjust your sleeping schedule so you wake-up at 7? Noise canceling headphones for during the day? That sucks! I can get soo irritated from things waking me up! I don't have the holy grail of advice. Maybe sleeping with earplugs? Let me know how you're doing! Don't give up!

[@ysor16]

In the uk, therapists might not be offering online therapy as they don’t get to choose individually if they do or not. I’m not sure whether nhs services have been moved online or not

[@karensmith7157]

So on topic for me right now thank you kati

[@catherinepraus8635]

I love that you speak your mind, i think the first time my counselor cussed was with me cus thats how i talk first time she dropped the F bomb i laughed so hard 🤣

[@pwms11]

OMG! Kati going to Nailed It!

[@jenniferpiper4728]

This Ask Katie anything had many really good questions the one that really hit home was the online therapy this is really causing the biggest strugle for me during quarantine right before this all happened my T and I decided that I should start coming 2x a week then this happened I hate the online I dint really feel I get much from it I really have a harder time focuses more than normal, I Dont feel like it is as private, several times technology on her end has failed and we had to phone call absolutely sucked no good at all actually it was very strange.I mean its better then nothing at all it would be really bad if that happened but I can see why you dont like it, I dont think it is beneficial for long term.Thanks Katie!

[@aprilbedenbaugh5462]

Though I am a highly sensitive person I do not have a good sense of intuitiveness. Does that make sense?

[@b.wilder1663]

I'm not in therapy atm, however, there are places that are simply shut during this pandemic and not easily accessible even when life is normal. They are most used by people of low-income, those in need of services they cannot afford. Therapy is expensive and not accessible to all in the U.S., even if one's insurance is great. It's a shameful thing to have great insurance and not make enough money to actually use that insurance. It's a vicious cycle. Anyway, there are going to be folks who cannot access a therapist during lock down because that type of service is not available across the board, across all income levels.

[@esterbengoa6077]

Going out is hard for me. I keep finding excuses to stay at home. I don't know why as I don't have panic attacks, it's just at home I don't feel anybody is judging me. I don't have many friends because I'm scared of being hurt ot abandoned, so, if I'm at home, I'm safe.

[@malimoor2654]

Is hocd associated with being really sensitive?

[@yunhee93]

What if you like in a group home? Where's the beat area to have a session?

[@Gypsymumma90]

My coping with emotions and being highly sensitive feels like a gift and a curse...my thing is being triggered by the past situations do you think that's PTSD?

[@gabriellemorellisinger1608]

I sit in my car all day to escape being there in the house it makes me so depressed

[@lilbsbluvr07]

Iv been having to do sessions over the phone and I always go to my car to do them haha!!! It hasn’t been as hard as I thought

[@bronwynhopejohnson1454]

Another great podcast Kati!! :)

[@TheLundraAlliance]

"Sorry I yawned. It's not you its me. You are doing great" this tickled my funny bone 👍 It's interesting you say this. I really like this channel. Omg o.O was totally thinking about this recent as in yesterday. The childhood memories. Omg thank you o.o "Spoilers" these podcasts are great. All those things can you just said about Skype lol why we like phone sessions lol at least in this Covid thing lol "Yes yes all is fine yet stressful." Reality: running around arms flailing Panicking! Panicking! Lol

[@tenderheart4807]

Is it okay to be attached to your therapist? And trying to look good in his eyes?

[@Chillingcomfy]

You can search about this. Kati Morton talked about it in a video. Search transference Kati Morton. Hope it helps

[@tenderheart4807]

@@Chillingcomfy thanks:)

[@kierapolzin1319]

Woo hoo, another Kati Morton (pod cast).channel. Happy day. :)

[@yunhee93]

I have always known that I want someone who specializes in asd because my dyspraxia appears to be "mild"

[@jaredt5127]

I miss baking! Healthy eating precludes me from making my best dessert to share. Key Lime Pie with Nelly & Joes Key West Lime Juice

[@sarahm2878]

Please talk about Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder sometimes. I can be the poster child in the DSM V for PTED.

[@yvetteschoeller5547]

How to deal with difficult boss?