Words: Your Most Powerful Weapon | Evy Poumpouras | TEDxStLouisWomen

Your words are what matter; they are the art form that gets people to give you what you want and gets people to comply. Here Evy shares some tips, tricks and techniques to help you be the best communicator you can be.
Evy Poumpouras is former Special Agent for the U.S. Secret Service and an on-air contributor for CNN, NBC, CBS, and FOX regarding interview and investigation techniques. In addition to her fraud investigations, she has provided presidential protective detail for President Barack Obama, President George W. Bush, and many more.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@chantaalangier]

"If you were to see you walk into a room, what impression would that give you?" I love this. She is beautiful and brilliant.

[@reflections32]

Ol ki k oll k my I’ll li klll k lol p Popop lilllllllll I’llllkykklkk li ol li it ur ky yi I’ll OkY myuk l Lului ya ur ultimate up ku I’lllluukuu ya llkutlu kuwas was ukt I’llk kids u yi uuu u ok li loolkllollkk OK lol kllkllppkllulykukl k uku plkuukll OK joy tryk l kyl lmyy y I’ll

[@lisapratt166]

Dirk lol 😆 I’m a dork.

[@kimgordon3695]

Be impeccable with your words but listen First 💝 Absorb them!

[@guzmanifran7228]

La nnlm

[@tharakarice6624]

M mm

[@Mistressofthegroove]

This woman should be all over the media as a fantastic female role model, never mind all the vacuous celebrities, shes got guts, intelligence, beauty and a compassionate heart, fantastic!

[@louisebotos7321]

So true Sister Rose

[@eileenkenney]

completely agree! She is incredible.

[@lishamartinez1946]

I agree!!

[@dani323]

@sister 👍agree. Simple. tell everyone you know. Post. We are the ones to do it, not the media. The media has its own agenda. They are too busy dividing, and giving a negative perspective of our lives.

[@louisebotos7321]

@@dani323 well said

[@evilrslade]

"People love to talk, so let them" Absolutely correct. Most people can't stand silence, they love to talk... Such an intelligent TED talk.

[@jackiechun99]

18:40 Evy Poumpouras: I started training. I would train during the day, and then at night by myself for months. Pushing, and pushing. And eventually got stronger. But what I realise is that my confidence got stronger, and my mental armour got stronger. It was all mental it wasn't physical. 20:06 How you define yourself is your choice. How others define you is their choice. Its up to you to decide which definition you prefer.

[@kimlec3592]

yes.

[@mulliganstew72]

The 9/11 story made me cry. I’m a NYer also. Lost my childhood best friend, Amy Hope Lamonsoff Who was hosting an event at “Windows of the World”. My friend Anthony, NYFD lost his whole house in there. I flew home from Seattle as soon as I could & will never forget Anthony, coming over to my parent’s house, taking off his hat, and sobbing. Both of us silently bawling at the kitchen table. I’m still bawling. Never Forget.

[@acedcoffee6934]

This is heartbreaking, and you're extremely strong

[@vvohvaelez9277]

Pain is the greatest teacher. Respect to the first responders. A nightmare unimaginable

[@allisonhazen5323]

It was such an awful day. I’ve struggled repeatedly to explain it to my young son. I’m so sorry for what you went through. I was (& am) in DC. We had a rough day, but nothing like NYC

[@ponygirlusa]

9/11 was absolutely horrific. I am so sorry you experienced such losses first hand. The pain was unbearable to the entire country, so one can only imagine how great your pain was/is after those devastating events that horrible day. No, we will never forget. God bless you. 😓💔🙏

[@amycuaresma]

4:56 "I would never put a table between me and another person" this is absolutely genius and I plan to implement this in family relationships

[@ginpepper]

Evie’s ending “How you define yourself is your choice. How others define you is their choice. It’s up to you to decide which definition you prefer.” That made me tremble. What a fantastic quote!!!

[@chev574]

I love how after accquiring popularity, she's still authentic to her true self. So many qualities no ego ..

[@user-is3yn7xr4c]

Did you even actually listened to her own words in the video? she said: *"We all are egotistical people"* 9:40 so by her own claim, that includes herself to the equation

[@thedailychailatte]

I was in a situation where I opened up to someone about my Traumatic feelings after 2 years of keeping it within me. And once I was done with the first sentence that person cut me straight up and started telling me about their experience. I never spoke about what I feel after that to anyone😟 Take time to just listen. Let the opposite person empty the whole vessel and then speak. Maybe we all need to learn that. ❤️

[@shandyruiz9921]

I'm sorry that was your experience. Please find someone you trust to express this feelings. You matter!

[@elliemerc01]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel sad that this person wasn’t in touch with your pain and emotional needs. Don’t keep this bottled up inside, write your story down, all the anguish and pain. I have had to do this. Only God knows our sorrows but it’s so helpful to have someone to unload our burdens to. I’m listening ❤🌹☦️🤗

[@thedailychailatte]

@@elliemerc01 ❤️❤️

[@michelerivers2251]

I believe that we can be re-traumatized when that happens. It's just adding another layer of anger, frustration, hurt and delaying the healing process. It's common when we're abused. When no one wants to believe it- or they get angry at YOU - the receiver (or victim - but I don't like that word). That has happened to me. So, I just cringed when I read what you wrote. So- if that would happen again - what could we do differently? Re-interrupt them? Say - excuse me - I wasn't finished speaking. Don't allow anyone to infringe on you - But then again- maybe they were not deserving of your story.

[@thedailychailatte]

@@michelerivers2251 I am always an involved listener. By that I mean that I listen to every minute details without thinking anything in my mind. I even ask questions about what they just spoke about. I get involved completely. Many people listen to reply, to respond! Sadly this is a world where we live in.

[@nadiafedorenko491]

Some didn't 'respect' you because they felt threatened by you! It was their way of trying to put you down to make themselves feel better 🙃

[@victoriafrodsham3730]

There’s a LOT of people feeling threatened by higher skilled workers etc when they should be enjoying them being a great asset to the company

[@nadiafedorenko491]

@@victoriafrodsham3730 I agree 100%. These people are your teachers. Be happy that they are in your path. Its a blessing.

[@oliviadressler7417]

Yes I agree

[@bbdo5626]

@@nadiafedorenko491 In what specific way are they teaching could you elaborate.

[@nadiafedorenko491]

@@bbdo5626Every person is your teacher. If you look deep enough you'll see what the lesson is. You will see what it is you can learn fron thenm. Every situation is different so I can't elaborate.

[@smartpoota9223]

I love this woman. She’s the perfect mix of beauty and brains. Definitely someone I look up to

[@paulmannguyen5665]

I wish Evy Poumpouras spoke more public presentations. I definitely want to learn more from her.

[@belabarretoq]

Try watching her "Women of Impact" interview. It's great, she's amazing.

[@annemarieplante8261]

She just released a book called Becoming Bulletproof

[@olivermanuel9352]

I love the way she speaks. She's amazing. Definitely, she earns my respect. Thank you, Evy Poumpouras.

[@user-fi4mh9re9c]

She is amazing isn't she ? Hello from Greece

[@MissGold888]

An absolute goddess. Such an inspiration

[@katetuhoro4623]

Fabulous!

[@c.9231]

She is beautiful, but it is her intelligence, and how she chooses to use it, that is inspiring.

[@irenapvp5365]

For sure!!!

[@hundekacke]

And my boyfriend is trying to tell me, that I am being to picky with people, because I cast them out for in his opinion the littlest reasons, but why would I want to be friends with people I just don't vibe with and who will make me sad, because they don't like me as much as I want to like them... I trust my gut.

[@hughmoore786]

I agree . . . A friend in need is a friend in-deed . . . Choose your friends wisely and they will choose to be with you for life . . .

[@dani323]

Trust your gut💯

[@animallover4101]

Yes and my husband has a two year old tantrum and holds a grudge if I don’t want to hang with people I don’t like ! He has a very bad people radar

[@hughmoore786]

@@animallover4101 This is going to be a tough nut to crack . . . because it says so much about our lives . . . May I suggest . . . TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS And there no bad people . . . just good people with bad ideas ! ! !

[@animallover4101]

@@hughmoore786 🤔

[@jessicaflores9009]

I am so obsessed with her, wait wait in a good way meaning if she is speaking I am listening, I have searched and look for anything with her in it. She is such an inspiration. I love the relationship she and her husband have and how she has talked about the openness of it. How if you are looking for something look, but if you are secretly doing it tell me the reason. How she took the blame for what she needed to fix within herself. I am so inspired by her. God bless her journey

[@katrand5357]

Her book is called Becoming Bulletproof

[@dani323]

@jessica I am following her now to get a fresh perspective. And to think she says to break fear of public speaking.. amazing! That’s when I started following her.

[@christieforcelsius3648]

@@katrand5357 Thank you!

[@Janeway1269]

The last parts were my favorites. Getting respect through actions. Learning that you don't need everyone's respect. You need your own, and YOU define yourself and should prefer your own definition for yourself. I've been telling myself these things a lot lately.

[@gailmgreenlee7039]

If I had a daughter or even a son too really, I'd make them watch all her videos and read all her books. She is a role model and a hero. In 9-11 she was in the building and ran in deeper to help people. Thank you Evy.

[@spelzonuse]

God says ...” our tongue is the most powerful weapon”!

[@jackiejack2031]

I wish people understood just how true and powerful our word's are

[@pinkyhotmessx69]

And it kills over and over

[@shaaya5079]

Amen to this! Our tongue holds death and life!

[@hughmoore786]

@@pinkyhotmessx69 Bloodshed Economics

[@charlierobles316]

God doesn't exist

[@RETTAVISION]

She's SMALL but ever so mighty!!! Respect goes a long way!

[@leeboriack8054]

In Italy there is an old saying, ~"The smaller the cask, the stronger the wine."~

[@barche21]

@@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart she is 5 ft 3.

[@ennyfiken]

Sharp as a razor, I love her.

[@katifay5701]

LOVE Evy!!! Been binging on her stuff for days. Dont forget to get her book...Becoming Bulletproof!!

[@katrand5357]

Kati, I agree and I am!

[@TheShellymay]

One of the best books out there

[@stevielynnsmith8679]

I didn't stop driving for an hour when my house was right there because I wasted to finish her book on audibles. I could've listened at home but I was just in a Transe with her voice from the start.

[@marisaranieri2745]

I literally stumbled on a youtube video of Evy...my mindset has already changed...she talks sense Rational & intelligent

[@fatimaaquino7426]

This lady knows exactly what she's talking about and gets to the point because she knows how to carry herself that makes you stay the whole video wanting more information about what shes talking about!!! Nur brought me here:D

[@nosxman]

One of the many talks that glues my eyes on the screen.

[@brandysteele8858]

Fatima Aquino For real, I was looking for ASMRy ted talks and click away immediately if I'm not getting it in the first 10 seconds. I didn't get it with this but I couldn't click away.

[@richardlynch8009]

Nope... Made me stay right up to the point where she said "I sucked off the president too."

[@mooncharms123]

I totally agree with you Fatima! I came across an interview with her on another channel and I was just drawn to everything she had to say, to the point where I felt compelled to look her up because I wanted to learn more! This is the first video that came up, and you know how we often skim through videos listening to bits and pieces here and there that interest us and skip through the rest? Well, not with this one! I've been all ears and soaking up so much. She's incredible and I'm so glad I stumbled across her. I look forward to everything there is to learn from her other videos too.

[@djjay-kay7636]

@@richardlynch8009 lol. Right👌

[@padebro2683]

*THIS* is worth saving to my most special file as there is much to reflect on and learn from, thank you.

[@courtneyhill7504]

I'm in sheer awe of this amazing woman! She is powerful, directive, true to herself and compassionate. What an inspiration and incredible human.

[@weili1963]

I earned their respect through my actions. 1) training to be excellent, 2) respect yourself, 3) know whose opinions matter

[@gabrielapenne4702]

Thank you for your honesty. As a woman who has struggled to get respect her whole life, it's reassuring to hear that even women who have accomplished great things still face that challenge.

[@PDi-iw3nh]

But it’s also not right sister, pay attention to those that disrespect you and why, and don’t let them close at all costs.

[@mountainserenity]

This woman makes me proud! What an inspiring human being!

[@orion9k]

The ability to interpret words and understand the culture, mentality and agenda behind the words is more powerful a weapon than words it self.

[@orion9k]

You're a good storyteller but you're also contradicting your own sayings and beliefs. Your last saying is a paradox with what you said earlier "You don't need everyones respect and approval" That is exactly true and that is also why you should not care how people interpret the way you carry your self (First impression/Halo effect). You have revealed that you judge people from your own prejudiced impression (cognitive bias) by how people carry them selves, but they could be the smartest, most intelligent and most loyal and caring person in the world and very well suited for a job or suited as your friend and/or colleague even thou their looks don't fit your cultural box.

[@orion9k]

And don't be fooled by how people (including Evy Poumpouras) carry them selves, they could easly be a pro con artist. Interpret their words and observe the degree of coherence between their words and actions, that will tell all about their character, not how they carry them selves, their clothes brands or weather a shirt is flattened out or not.

[@teresadepuydt3024]

This seems a little over-analyzed to me.

[@DraceAI]

Actions matter more then words, so i agree more with you orion9k that is not to say words mean nothing... she seems like a con artist in the form of motivational speaker not that she does not speak truth at all... the problem comes when you weave truth with your dogmatic bias... critical thinking beats cognative bias hence analysis is something that is required for Discernment... without it is acceptance based on feeling rather then reason...

[@desireeslayton7959]

U just leveled up lol

[@MrGreenwayman]

Εύη εδώ και σήμερα σε γνώρισα μέσα στην καραντίνα του σπιτιού μου και ως εκπαιδευτικός ερωτεύθηκα τη ψυχή σου και τις αρχές σου, αρχές που προσπαθώ και εγώ να εμφυσήσω στους φοιτητές μου! Gender and cultures aside, this video is hands-down such an INSPIRATION on VALUES for all humanity and mankind...art of communication is the name of the greatest game, Abundunt LIFE! Very proud of you! Thank you & keep it UP!!!

[@yellowroseoftexas2890]

I have listened to many speakers over my years. Both male and female alike. Ms. Poumpouras delivers a better message than the accumulative of most. We are never define by what others think. Know yourself well and thrive. Thank you for sharing this valuable message.

[@tinisamasoni7534]

Quality of Great Communication are as follows : Active Listener, Make Your Partner/Audience Feel Super Special/ See things from their Perspective/ Self-esteem, Self-confidence, Presence, How you carry, portrey Yourself/ Earn the Respect, Respect yourself, mental armour n strength grew,

[@tinisamasoni7534]

Listen 80:20speak/ Action speaks louder ....thank you for this amazing talk

[@trudylefebvre7728]

One of the best Ted Talk yet. Great Role Model. This women is the right mix Assertive, Powerful, Beautiful.. Inspirational

[@pordux]

Is like having all the best TEDS in one single, genuine, smooth and amazing talk, this is just AMAZING!!!

[@lexbonife]

Truly one of the most valuable Ted Talks I've ever seen. What a gem!

[@jennifersquire2757]

So articulate & strong; classy. I love your messages and hearing you speak, Evy! Thank you!

[@WClark-lp9vc]

This has to be the best Tedx talk I have heard so far. It gets you to thinking, whether you are male or female.

[@stilianifakidaraki3724]

what?

[@pordux]

One of the most powerful talks, so easy explained, so truth, so strong! WOW!!!

[@eccwork2010]

This is my public speaking course in a nutshell. An amazing example of a pro. The content, the personal nature, truth, and insight. The clarity in structure, expressive and engaging because it matters. It's real, thoughtful, authentic, and fascinating. Because the message is now, relevant, honest, and she's credible. A very impressive speaker, person. and journey. This speech is my new favorite. I will be showing this to my speech students every day. I'm done!

[@sonyaberkenpas5071]

Iron sharpens iron. This woman is a BEAST! So inspiring! 💯

[@firenzeong317]

I have been watching this video more than 10 times!!! It’s just inspiring and empowering!! Thanks for sharing your wisdom Evy !!

[@kidsaffirmations3814]

I'm 32, its took me this long to figure out who my idol is. Evy, its you!

[@vaquera9368]

People deeply desire to be listened to. One time, I was at the gym and I gave a woman a compliment about her dress and how good it looked on her. Her whole demeanor changed and she looked so happy sharing with me about her dress. It was so obvious to me that she needed to be encouraged and heard. I just let her share. We need to talk less and listen more.

[@mattlr01]

Truth.

[@felixchen9939]

I do that to my boss : 80%listen and 20%talk . He likes it. Anything can blow to his ego , talking us down makes him feel good but it’s exactly worked in the opposites

[@B305M]

She is very brave and confident. I appreciated listening to this TED. As for her haters, yh they're everywhere. Those who are the most resilient uses the words of their haters as fuel to get you yo get where you want to go.

[@nalinchheang7745]

Thank you. Love how you said, when people don’t respect you because they have an issue

[@evaistheway]

What a speech! She's very intelligent, charismatic and put-togther.

[@sarahahmed4875]

She is

[@archnaverma9105]

So true

[@tongtong7036]

Unusual pe

[@khaledahmed-uu6tw]

Madam today I learned a lot from you. Thank you my greetings from Aden - Yemen

[@leeboriack8054]

In Italy there is an old saying, ~"The smallest cask is reserved for the strongest wine."~

[@jeanniesue6804]

Wow...what an inspirational woman! So full of compassion and understanding. I feel stronger and more confident about life just from listening to this presentation! One of the most important lessons that was reaffirmed to me, is how important it is to listen more than you speak. To truly listen to another is a gift in itself.

[@ouiouibien_1979]

Yes, i love this woman. Said it many times. I learned so much from her. And still do.. I ask myself the question:Would i want a relationship with myself at the moment? "Well no.. To be honest atm... No".Same thing with walking into a room and the impression you give others. Self awareness and self knowledge is so important.

[@NearlyNM]

More power to you Evy Poumpouras!!!

[@Yeshuasdaughter888]

Evy Poumpouras, you are an excellent teacher! May the Lord God bless & continue to protect you & your family until the very end and beyond in Jesus mighty, holy name! SHALOM!

[@emmyeagle9596]

Great Speaker/Communicator! Powerful Woman; “Words Your Most Powerful Weapon." This strong Woman Evy uses her mental strength as a good listener and body language expert.

[@one-day-at-a-time9317]

While listening to this I realised that most doctors that my children & I have seen in Australia haven’t had a table in between them & us. I guess this is so that they can hopefully understand us more … hopefully. We can also read them more too … as to how genuine they are in their care for our well being etc.

[@lilynguyen4298]

I listen and absorb every word she said. Yes, you earned the reward yourself, Evy. You deserve it. What an inspiring woman.

[@milarosenrot]

I am addicted to the way this woman speaks, I'm going through all the videos on youtube. Thank you so much Evy you're a blessing!

[@christinalucas9387]

yes I am too im going through a lot of changes. I think she saved my life... its helpful... like immensely!"

[@cobaltblues8688]

First time I've listened to this Brilliant woman and I am thrilled to learn from her. I Listen too Much and Need to learn how to speak to others still at 44, I'm still trying to be aware of the way I speak (when I do) I am grateful for this opportunity to learn from her and put her tools into action.

[@lisaeve6426]

Never too late to change!

[@solarhydrowind]

I was like you and when I finally had something i definitely wanted to say, it has come out with the force of being bottled up for decades, when I never knew my soul was "keeping track" ... (God works in mysterious ways / the truth is deafening compared to any power struggles between men

[@aartitiwari5951]

Each n every word was powerful and impactful. I can listen her all day long. Very inspirational.

[@peacefuljourney4858]

The world need to listen to this beautiful young lady because no one is listening and that's the reason so much is going wrong.

[@moniquevamado]

Yes! Preach it girl! I'll be sharing this with my female coaching clients. Love it.

[@tanjaberg4525]

Wow! You are amazing. This should be taught in high school, to both male and female.

[@johnramos1012]

you have made my day. i am starting a new life and this motivation is exactly what i have been looking for. Thank You

[@yanideferreira8607]

What an incredible Ted talk she should be giving seminars for young adults!!!

[@JohnWickPotter]

This my absolute favorite Ted talk. I’ve been wanting to improve in the aspect of not only the amount of my words but the impact they could have. This video grabs with the title, but when you give it a listen there’s so much more that goes into. For example she speaks on knowing your audience. Another she speaks on active listening, which correlates again with the words you both USE & DONT USE. I am being vague on purpose because I don’t want to spoil the details.

[@liabeachy]

Ty 👍😊 I needed to hear this . Your an inspiration and amazing woman 💖

[@gloriakanani1026]

Beautiful. Thank you for this. ❤️❤️❤️❤️I needed to hear this.

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

I suppose you either talk or listen….you can’t do both… Thanks for this info Evy….it’s precious…

[@cherryprajjwol4013]

Listen,be present,observe from others perspective,make them feel special,respect,be self,be confident. “ you define yourself in your own way, others define you in their own way , its your choice which definition you prefer”

[@MaryJaneHancock]

Powerful! Thank you for posting.

[@DesignRhythm]

That was really well done... great advice and appropriate stories to support the bullet points...thank you Evy.

[@katrand5357]

What a great teacher!

[@twoblackrabbits]

I am glad I found this. I have always had trouble with communication and never knew where to start to work on it but I have the idea written down. I will work harder again.

[@snowleopard7952]

Thank you. This was very helpful. I didn’t know half this stuff. Thanks for teaching.🙋🏼‍♀️🌸

[@brooklyn8227]

This may be the best Ted talk I've ever listened to. Wasn't expecting all that from the title. Well done! Incredibly insightful. I have goosebumps.

[@happyvirus9152]

Just finished watching the video, and it was great, I've learned Manny valuable things from it. Thank you for sharing this great video to use and God bless you!

[@lanikamoon]

This is so beautiful and strong even how many times I’ve watched and listened.

[@angelieavenie5741]

She talks like a teacher. You get so much from her talks. I wish my managers listened to her talks...they talk...but, don't know their audience.

[@CKww32]

You're so great! You inspire me.

[@hinkitti]

Love how she carries herself and how she speaks. I'm adapting some things in myself :)

[@opaopri_aka_LostLenore]

She's absolutely amazing and I love her so much! Reading her book right now and it's even better than I expected!

[@kelsanglhamo1615]

Such a great advice. Thank you so much for sharing.🙏

[@Alioops69]

She’s amazing! Thank you for this x

[@erisenigma]

Really excited I discovered Evy. My life is forever changed and I love learning from her!

[@sarthakmohapatra3738]

Her talk and how rich the containts are, is phenomenal. Thnx

[@NidzShah-ps6kr]

Wotta speech! succinct and informative. Thank you.

[@esatanic2284]

She is very helpful and listening to her puts together some blocks that needed filing. Thank you.

[@kreuter4547]

You go Girl!! Terrific!

[@masterphotog4131]

Thank you for this amazingly inspiring video. Keep up the good work!

[@nileshausarmal7930]

you are so talented miss Evy...Best ted talk ever

[@hlengekile]

I've learned a lot already....Such a powerful speech!!

[@sultanali-vw3nd]

Your speech is very valuable for us .as you have tell how our words , language plays a important role . As you told about how you serious when you take interview of any person but in our general life when we go for interview at that time some interviewers are busy in their phone .they show that they are very busy.

[@guesshyu76]

Thank you very much it’s awesome I will watch your videos over and over because I want to learn from you as much as I can you are my life savior

[@ginh1709]

Active listening means listen to understand rather than listening to get give a response. When we listen more and talk less, we gain valuable cues and from there we can tailor to the person’s wants and needs.

[@geetapunjabi9]

Quite inspiring and very well said about perspective and ignorance, and most importantly know thy self. Thank you.

[@SherriAnn5star]

POWERFUL! Thank you.

[@kathrynholgate6155]

So glad I came across this ted talk. Thank you!

[@mikereut6088]

well done.... she is so ahead in this game called LIFE :)

[@larrybruggeman3205]

Just what I needed when I needed, the forgotten art form of good conversation.

[@kentlarsen5834]

Men listen Evy because she is so direct with confidence and we watch her walk back and forth with our eyes, when some men don't listen to other women or their wives.