I survived multiple suicide attempts | What I Learned

[@thepurplepalace85]

I love you Hitomi

[@matthewgoetzka8855]

I was going to say the same thing.

[@ksvideodiary999]

i love her and i love you too

[@opheliafawn]

I love both of you

[@megananderson4662]

i love you BOTH

[@caoimhe7526]

My two female inspirations in one place, love it!! Thank you both for sharing your beautiful selves so authentically and honestly with us 💜☀️♀️

[@Chaitogether]

“Someone out there needs me” helped me survive many years of childhood.

[@KeturaSaint-Fleurose]

Affirmation: “I respond in ways that serve my highest self.” 💜✨

[@Iknow_xo]

Yess, love this💖

[@martinameyer2893]

Ughh I love that 😍♥️

[@gracie99999]

wish it was true all times for me! GOALS!🖤

[@Grace-kw7ok]

an affirmation that my therapist once told me that has really helped when I'm feeling the intense physical aspects of anxiety is "it's uncomfortable, but it's not dangerous" or when you are feeling sensations such as an increased heart rate, simply stopping and thanking your heart/ breathe for keeping you alive.

[@monserivv]

Her talking about something so personal and deep is just amazing. It makes me feel relaxed that life threathing thoughts can happen to anyone and it should be normal to get help.

[@NadyaOlivares]

It pains me that someone so angelic and gentle like Hitomi suffers so greatly. Depression can truly affect anybody but I’m glad she’s here to share her experiences. Hopefully everyone here is healing and living their best ✨✨

[@farida7148]

i don’t know how else to phrase this but you quite literally saved my life back in february 2017. finding your videos is, in my eyes, my favorite serendipity to date. thank you, again and again and again💌

[@MothersKeeperDoula]

I am so glad your here 🙏

[@dominikamei3293]

I am so glad you are here too ❤️

[@leannesmith1207]

I'm so glad you're here too

[@SpiritualDoves]

Thamk you for sharing your beautiful energy with us ❤

[@alicecostelloe7401]

You are stronger then you know❤️

[@ItsMeShanalee]

ugh literally in a deep dark place today - thank you for the sunshine. xxo 🥺

[@Iknow_xo]

A virtual hug to you💗

[@sofiaa_6343]

Same here.. we’ll get through this together! You’re not alone!💕

[@lilozine]

168 people felt this today. ty hitomi

[@leannesmith1207]

[@aquarius000.9]

sending love,💕✨

[@delaneyexpressionalart]

i can’t watch this rn cause i really am struggling w my own suicide issues rn but i hope one day when i want to live & when i am healed from my trauma & such- i can come back to this video & comment what i have learned as well.

[@TrueFreedom4kindness]

you are so loved.

[@senjutibhattacharya1652]

Sending love and blessings your way ❤️

[@ninamertens2696]

Completely understand this... watch some of her light hearted videos like a “what I eat in a day” or just a simple vlog, because as I am sure you know Hitomi has profound ways of making you okay even if it’s just for the duration of the video... it helps me zone out while not spiraling further and usually in the end has a huge impact

[@delaneyexpressionalart]

@@TrueFreedom4kindness you are as well. thank you. i didn’t even expect to get any comments on here so this is so sweet🥺❤️

[@delaneyexpressionalart]

@@senjutibhattacharya1652 same time you! i really do appreciate it though! it does go a long way❤️

[@CherryBerryFashion]

When she said all those nice things at the end I just felt tears coming into my eyes. I really need someone that supportive in my life. It's deeply sad navigating so much on your own.

[@lorainegarcia5385]

same

[@amberlenalovescats2160]

I feel the same way

[@iriesarah]

“I find the miracle in every story and leave it behind” is such a beautiful affirmation. Thank you Hitomi❤️

[@girlonfire8405]

Yes right

[@lesedimokoena]

To everyone reading this: you’re needed in the world, and I might not know you but I’m glad you’re here❤️

[@inafricaheightdependsonhow695]

Thank you for this comment🥺💗

[@lesedimokoena]

@@inafricaheightdependsonhow695 you’re most welcome❤️

[@hyerinj888]

Thak you so much for your words, you just made my day ❤️

[@lesedimokoena]

@@hyerinj888 you’re most welcome❤️

[@sunnimarci]

Stay in this life. Just stay 🤍

[@tesskanters3070]

You’re doing SUCH important work in trying to de-stigmatize conversations about suicidal thoughts and life ending feelings

[@Dominickq]

Picking that one little pattern to upgrade during the darkest of moments - like trading in a binge of Gossip Girls for a soul-nourishing documentary - is such a beautiful (and accessible) way to infuse love where there was once a void. Thank you, Hitomi, for sharing your hard-earned wisdom.

[@audreyjill]

I can overcome this I can be happy I will live I will be peaceful I'm gonna be strong I'm gonna make it I really hope i can. Thank you Hitomi 🥺

[@mai6553]

We are in this healing journey together but apart 💜 I believe in us.

[@mrcrmn897]

Hi! Just a lil tip, make your affirmations on present tense no matter what's going on. Start by making those seconds u use to say that to resonate, embody and be whatever ur soul knows and needs. With time it will be easier to get to that vibration and easier to access to that part of yourself

[@audreyjill]

@@mrcrmn897 ooooh thank you for telling me 💛

[@zekekasichiro-smith4725]

@@mrcrmn897 I'm gonna be okay today, I'm will not be anxious, relax, is this a good example of that?

[@francescafrancesca3554]

You can!!

[@hellobyewtvk]

I started watching you when I was going through suicidal moments and you helped my journey so much. and now Im at the end of my first pregnancy about to give birth. Life is crazy.

[@senjutibhattacharya1652]

Sending lots of love and blessings your way ❤️

[@hellobyewtvk]

@@senjutibhattacharya1652 Thank you so much 💛✨

[@Selena-tv9ge]

Congratulations, wishing you a blessed and beautiful labour 💓

[@hellobyewtvk]

@@Selena-tv9ge Thank you that means alot ❤️✨

[@alaskayoung777]

lots of love! 🧡

[@christinaflutter5411]

As long as your heart is pure, speaking the truth is always the right answer

[@ivyls]

I've been struggling with those thoughts again all month. Especially today has been so bad. You dont know how much I needed this. Thank you for being you Hitomi.

[@kierstynsaoirse]

Sending you all the love and safety you need ❤️

[@abby6215]

❤️ I wish you healing

[@katekellyphotographs]

❤️ sending you love!

[@MothersKeeperDoula]

Prayers sweetheart. All of us have been where you are right now. Everything is ok. Breathe deep. Your safe.

[@freyacharlotte3700]

i have been feeling so drained these past couple of days, and i was just sitting in my room thinking: “i could really use a breather rn, i wonder if hitomi has uploaded anything new” and voilá, a video that was only put out 7 minutes ago. tysm, i’m just gonna go get myself some hot chocolate to make this perfect haha

[@Trinnajk]

thinking if I should wait until I get home to make some hot choc too… 💓

[@sachapalmer778]

"I am blessed to be on this earth, I deserve to live each day with love gratitude towards myself" - We are all here on this earth for a reason, we all deserve to be here. Enjoy the small moments, for they add up to bigger, happier moments

[@saylorquin4259]

“You have everything you could possibly need to get to where you want to be”

[@averee1562]

You’re an angel, I was just contemplating an attempt

[@TrueFreedom4kindness]

you are so loved.

[@444thelifestyle]

You are so loved. 💛

[@MothersKeeperDoula]

I love you. You matter. This world NEEDS you. Your worth everything.

[@immabull]

Sending you endless love

[@EssencexMari]

I’m Glad you’re here

[@Sayje]

An affirmation that has helped me in my dark times is “my feelings are valid but temporary” also treating myself as a friend in those situations instead of berating myself makes a big difference

[@lilcvrry]

Not an affirmation- just a question i ask myself every morning that shaped a new way of thinking “Hey spirit, what do you need from me today?” It could be as simply as smiling @ someone 📿🎋

[@wolfiesasha887]

❤️

[@renathens_]

ahh im going to start this! thank you

[@lilcvrry]

@@renathens_ please do! I got the idea from a creator on KZbin i love as well he goes by HINDZ!!!!!🥳🥰

[@sachapalmer778]

what a great way to start the day, I am going to start implementing this in the morning, thank u xx

[@renathens_]

@@lilcvrry that's so weird i subscribed to him like an hour ago!! but it's such a clever thought!

[@tarawilde]

I still sometimes feel anxious during my morning Yoga/Meditation. I will say to myself: “I am safe. There is no where else I need to be.” This helps ground me in the present. I often feel a pull away from my morning practice because I want to just start my day but I need to remind myself that nothing is as urgent as my own self care.

[@fio-6096]

Yees girl yees, i need to say that to myself too, WE ARE OUR PRIORITY ❤

[@xBloodXGusherx]

I'm glad you are still with us. :)

[@anicaholm]

“I give to myself all that I once desired from others” 💗🧚🏼🌷

[@blessingswithblaze5661]

"I accept myself for who I am and who I will become" An affirmation that helped me in difficult time of denial and anger with who I was/where I wanted to be

[@emilirenova6648]

I think everyone who watches you IS being guided by you. We are all in sync with our depressive phases and you always upload just exactly what we need to hear to pick are selves up. You are an angel hitomi we are blessed YOU stayed true to yourself because you really did come to this earth to heal others as well as yourself.

[@rominaabraham3957]

May I be happy May I be healthy May I be at peace I repeat these three phrases over and over again during my daily meditation 💛

[@fharzaneahsantos7214]

I AM ON MY DEPRESSIVE PHASE AGAIN YOU'RE ONE OF MY SERENITY, YOU MEAN A LOT HOPE U CAN SHARE MOREEEE ALWAYS I ALMOST FINISH ALL UR VIDEOS🥺🥺🥺 BUT NO PRESSURE, KEEP LIVING I FEEL ALIVE WHEN UR ALIVE 🥺🥺

[@MothersKeeperDoula]

Prayers you can find your way out sweetheart. You matter so much. Your so important.

[@fharzaneahsantos7214]

@@MothersKeeperDoula that's so thoughtful and sweet🥺🙏🏽 I wish you have a good day and life ahead, you're important too🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@CherryBerryFashion]

I totally understand but please remember to actually use the tips in this video. It's really easy to escape into the youtube world, escaping into a fantasy but unfortunately life's challenges still wait for us on the other side as they are only put off in time. I've learned it the hard way. You can do it!

[@tamary.6567]

here's one! I'm so grateful for the courage to be my most authentic self.

[@user-kn4rk3yw2s]

Lately I’ve been feeling quite insignificant and questioning the reason for my existence. It’s really strange because there’s so much I want to do and experience but at the same time I wouldn’t be upset if I were gone tomorrow. Having to endure so much so young really is tiring. Hopefully I’ll look forward to life again sometime soon. Thank you for being an endless source of light x

[@Euphoryaaa]

I came here to say that I’m happy you chose to stay here with us

[@noneywright6333]

Your one of the most beautiful people i have ever seen- your soul just leaks through you.

[@lorainegarcia5385]

i´ve been here so long hitomi, some days up and other down like today. My life ending thoughts have came back, but today because of you i decided that im going to therapist tomorrow!

[@octoberrosesaxon8818]

Nothing is as beautiful as the beautiful courage of vulnerability. Thank you for this video. I struggle with suicidal thoughts. I think it’s important to talk about. My heart is warm. I hope if anyone who is struggling reads this, know that it will pass. We are loved. I love you.❤

[@lillysyoga]

"there's a difference between bypassing negative thoughts and just not indulging them" on periodddddd

[@josihenry306]

I am perfect in the place I am today. I am beyond my trauma. I am beyond my bulimia. I am worthy in the space I inhabit. I am exactly where I need to be. I am at peace with the scale. I am more than a number. My worth is not based on my size. I am free from self-judgement. I am sober and clear minded. I am holding space for love of myself and others. I am in this life to live fully. I am the light in my life. I am not meant to be extinguished.

[@CaitlinKreft]

I personally struggle with expressing my emotions. After years of “people pleasing” i started to recognize the toll it was taking on my body. I am going through a season of growth right now and I have been challenged to fully express emotions and following my instincts. I am so grateful you shared part of your story because it feels comforting to know that someone else can relate

[@missdann]

I've avoided clicking on this video all week. One of my dearest friends and someone I considered a sister took her life last summer. The pain I have been feeling over this has twisted me so. To anyone else viewing this video who has also lost someone to the whispers of suicide, my heart goes out to you. The pain is immeasurable and nothing can make a tragedy so awful okay. But I hope others find moments of love, growth, and warmth still in the absence of a love you once valued, and hold tight to the lighter moments in life to make the harder moments easier to bear.

[@Zombiebacon6359]

“Feelings aren’t facts” just remember that. The voices in your head might be loud but you are stronger than the voices, even if you it doesn’t feel that way right now. You have the power in you to change your mind and change your environment. Take a little step every day, even if it is just small self care acts like making your bed or brushing your teeth. This is a really great video. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[@destinyhart9860]

This showed up as I’m really thinking about it. I feel like this video has saved my life. This gave me the permission to cry and I haven’t cried since March all this pain is finally free thank you so much this.

[@farah3922]

‘the speed at which you walk through life is okay. life is not a race to the finish line, for the greatest prize is life itself’ 🦋

[@tokiohotellily1]

I love this channel, great empowerment. Needed this, I’m 20 and still struggling with depression and thinking or trying suicide. I always look at the deep cuts on my wrists and I remember when I was 12 I looked at another girl who’d had cuts and promised myself I’d never do it. Here I am.

[@RikkeGade]

How are you doing now love?❤️

[@tokiohotellily1]

@@RikkeGade much better, I broke up with my ex and trying to be stronger for myself.

[@RikkeGade]

Proud of you

[@summergrace5102]

O.D'd 3 months ago, I'm so glad we're both still here. Much love sent to you, Hitomi

[@strawberryannettey]

I’m proud of you girl!! 🥰🥰

[@Dougiefresh50022]

This hits home for me, my brother committed suicide last July and i haven't been the same since, it tore my whole family apart. I think about him every single day and i always wonder what i could have done to help him but he's gone now and theres nothing i can do about it. I feel traumatized and my anxiety has been through the roof but i try to stay positive. Videos like this really help so i thank you for that. You're a really warm beautiful energy and i need to try some of these things you speak about. Also, if any of you are thinking about committing suicide, please don't do it and think about your family and all the people that love you. People care about you, i care about you, you're amazing, life is beautiful and this time in your life right now is only temporary, things get better, you're a strong, powerful, beautiful soul and things will work out no matter what you're going through. Peace and love.

[@FatimaHortizano]

I had suicidal thoughts for 10 years too. It started when I was 16 years old. It's super hard and yet im still alive. Love to learn from you Hitomi.

[@themoonisbeautifulisntit2860]

anyone else been feeling really heavy today ? this couldn’t have been posted at a better time

[@Iknow_xo]

"I now release the pain from my past and choose to believe in the beauty of my future" ✨ this affirmation resonates with me so much in this moment🙏🏻 sending you all love💗

[@TheDaisyhg08]

Love you Hitomi, we are so lucky to have a friend like you…

[@gatsbyspet9344]

Affirmation: I wear my imperfections like armor so they can never be used to hurt me🌞🌞🌞🌞

[@glory914]

I need more that 16:25 minutes of you girl , you’re just an amazing soul ❤️

[@janayemasters184]

The thought of another lockdown has me really depressed today. Thanks for this

[@zilanthropy]

Thank you for staying and being here ❤ you (anyone reading) are too precious to be deprived of this life. Your presence gives so much positivity to others. You will do great things

[@jackmovick9116]

Thanks for this. I resonate with this immensely. I’ve had life ending thoughts since I’ve lost two babies in the second trimester. Grief is very hard to walk along side. What keeps me here is my 6 year old and the living people I have around me and the hope we will one day have another earth child. Thank you for opening this conversation ❤❤ Alyssa xx

[@dannyk7226]

thank you, Hitomi. just thank you.

[@adeola4335]

Thank you for being the light in a world of extreme darkness.

[@nancylee3780]

Thank you Hitomi 💛 “I am worthy and ready for my next step”

[@selinozer6116]

Im not sure if u will see this but even though u dont know me, u are a really important person in my life. l love your soul and energy. Thanks for making me feel safe everytime with your videos ❤️ Thank you so much for being here.

[@gwenrobinson3990]

You are such a strong beautiful soul, inside and out! Sending you lots of love and light!

[@bridgetking216]

ive always felt so guilty for saying no to friends or going home early to commit to my healing practices but you just validated that so much for me

[@StefanieRoyMusic]

I started to cry when this video began... things have been hard.

[@elysianholmes5825]

I’m glad you’re here :)

[@SawahsPages]

My favorite affirmation to repeat during meditation from Thich Naht Hanh : I am not the body, I am not even the mind

[@EverythingAugustin]

I love how raw, honest and well spoken you are. Truly one of my favourite youtubers

[@elodievincendeau6443]

Before watching: I'm really scared of the suicide conversation lately and have been avoiding watching this video (even though my career is in mental health /education). Regardless of my fear, I am drawn to the importance of this conversation. I am ready to witness your story now. After: 'Your story'... became instantly relatable despite our different paths. Thank you for sharing and by virtue, guiding me towards myself.

[@georgelelandturner]

Thank you for being real, you’re taking a powerful and important stance

[@liberatedlioness6478]

True beauty is in truth, getting naked and candid. I am so moved by your demonstration of what resonates with me as true beauty. Thanks for this example 🙏🏿

[@alicrighton9873]

The light you bring to this platform

[@gracefullyoriginal7242]

I have been through so much and survived. My life is my own and no one can take away my hope for the future. Patience is key. It will get better.

[@kayapapaya4748]

Finished watching at 1:11 🙏 your kind words are so deeply appreciated. Your genuineness makes me cry tears of joy. Sometimes it feels like you’re speaking directly to me, like a friend who comes when I need you the most. Thank you. Much love

[@wamialuko]

Current affirmation - I'm breaking from old patterns and moving forward with my life ! I'm free because I choose to love!

[@Lariii_sa]

Seeing this today is my sign to keep going. Thank you x

[@LinaSemina]

"Discipline is freedom". Thank you for these words 🙏

[@roalguacil356]

Affirmations that help me through hard moments : 1. I am centered , peaceful and grounded 2. I have the ability to overcome any challenge life gives me 3. I allow myself to release negative emotions 4. I release what is not mine to feel 5. This too shall pass. I can breathe and I can release 6. I validate myself and that is enough 7. I treat myself kindly even if my mind tells me not to 8. I allow myself to just BE 9. Self care and setting boundaries help honor my feelings 10. I declare my energy return to me at this moment For me the most helpful thing i can do is just take a moment to breathe, to feel, to let myself just be. I don’t try to fix it or get rid of it, i allow myself to feel it so i can identify where it truly comes from inside of me. 💜

[@nadiamekelatos4698]

your comment couldn’t have founded me at a better time! thank you for sharing these affirmations that help you, i’m going to use them from now on ☺️

[@Babyy_girl]

To be honest... there is so much sadness inside of me I can't even describe it. But instead of trying to get rid of it embracing it really helped. Idk if it's just me but when I cry I feel the most connected to myself and my own energy and it helps me to have a clear mind and make the right decisions that make me happy

[@deniseoates7147]

This is an empowering video. I am 59, it hurt me to the core to see that people so young deciding to take their own life because of lack of a coping method. "That this to will pass" With social media it becoming really difficult to make young people understand that you can not take what people post or say about you to the bone. "What you feed (give more power) into your life is what will gain you strength or make you vulnerable. Your worth is not measured by things of this earth. Thanks for sharing and blessing to you and all in the days to come.

[@ona9375]

Thank you for your light, Hitomi✨ A mantra that has helped me a lot (and still does) is “Everything is perfect and necessary. I am where I am supposed to be.”

[@thomlynmohiney3864]

I find that when I detox from social media 4 - 5 days a week helps. Working more in my garden helps with my anxiety. Journaling and staying away from negative people helps. I appreciate this video. Have a beautiful evening

[@arisia6974]

you are and will be the most amazing human i know... you are an absolute goddess...

[@serenaatallah641]

thank you so much for sharing your story. I had also dealt with suicidal thoughts from age 13 to 21 and I struggled with self harm for just as long. I am still working through self limiting behaviors like not sticking to a morning routine that is centered around regulating my nervous system and really paying attention to myself and my needs before others. But every small step towards that goal is progress. I just celebrated my 23rd birthday last week and I was crying from happiness because I was alive and so happy to be where I am in my life now. I accomplished so much these past two years of my healing journey. I no longer feel depressed and anxious on a daily basis and I know how to work with myself in a constructive way when I get down. You're so inspiring to me and I'm so glad we have a light being like you to bring us a taste of grace, belonging and love in this world.

[@marsraya]

hitomi, i'm so glad that you're still here with us today. i have also survived many suicide attempts. it's been 2 years and 5 months since my last one! :) i was only 18 at the time :( i have learned so much and have healed so much and i am so happy to be alive. i think being at such a low point in life really makes us appreciate life more.

[@SamElle]

thank you for sharing your journey

[@ashleygraham3458]

We love you so much, you’ve changed and saved my life. Thank you

[@america5108]

wow owowwwowow I used to think my “I” statements where so self ish and self centered that its was a big part of why I didnt feel like journaling a LOT. You coming out and saying it like that made me rethink my own programming just now. That is SO powerful Hitomiiiiii. The way you curate your words is SO beautiful

[@american991000]

..u always open ur heart to this audience! You are amazing! Blessings!

[@tashajuli2399]

One of my favorite books (Shantaram) has this to say about suicidal thoughts: A mentally ill person doesn’t have the right to kill someone.

[@april3021]

Brilliant book , shantaram ❤

[@arcanaobscura3519]

Well, technically no one has the right to kill anyone...

[@summergrace5102]

My affirmation today - I am strong enough to succeed and my energy will empower others.

[@gissellecaraballo5531]

You are the light at the end of my tunnel. Litterally took me out the hole I thought was so deep within. Thank you for being you. Thank you for making this video.

[@picketfenced5771]

I’ve been watching you for years and you’ve taught me a lot, which in turn, will help me teach others. It’s a beautiful web we’re all weaving, I hope everyone stays strong and continue seeking your best self, the world will change accordingly.

[@emiliennedupleix1962]

you are such a warrior 🥺... I'm going trough depression at the moment and it gives me a little bit of hope so thank you very much ❤people really need that, our society needs that

[@sheilao2127]

you have no idea how much I needed your words this morning. thank you for reminding me how normal and valid these feelings are and for guiding me to choose hope and choose myself despite what my mind/abuser's voice in my mind, might say. I love you immensely and you are helping me and others heal--thank you

[@Selena-tv9ge]

Sending love and light to everyone in this comment section going through a rough patch. You are so loved and protected.

[@lillianozelci9724]

i deserve the love that i give others and I am validated by my own emotions

[@hemalimaistry7843]

Thank you, Hitomi, for helping me pull myself out of what seemed to be a never ending cycle of darkness and into the light❤️

[@EienAii]

“I am the light in others as they are in me” is the affirmation I’ve been using to get me out of my depressive slump

[@Marollan1]

Hitomi, I am so glad I met you. You have showed me ways to help my days go by, getting to know myself and loving my self more. Of course I have my bad days, but you inspire me to get better. I love you

[@marthanorth6575]

This video felt so personal and had such perfect timing, this is exactly what I needed, I love these personal videos so much they deeply help me, thank you

[@tierneynalueden]

I love watching your channel and soaking up the gorgeous florescent energy that surrounds you. I strive to be kind, gentle, and present just as you are. I'm deeply thankful to have found peace and wisdom from your videos. 🌞✨🙏🏼

[@gabriellabell4483]

thank you for being you- youre an actual angel!!! so much love