Hitting Rock Bottom as an Autistic Adult

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[@cesaralvarez7474]

Hey, i've just discovered your channel an hour ago, thank you for what you do, i see myself in what you are talking about, almost completely. I've just found out im autistic a week ago, by myself of course. Im tired, broke, dealing with addictions my whole life. Im only 28 and i feel old and worn out. Hopefully knowing that im autistic will help me to build better future (present) for myself. Again, thank you sir! I consider you my new friend. Greetings from Czech republic.

[@rockingerik]

Awesome, check out my other videos and hopefully they'll help.

[@CarlJdP]

I feel you. I didn't know if i perhaps have a degree of Autism / Asperger's too 🤷, but they say I'm ADD + OCPD (and the usual anxiety, depression & excessive analysis & perfectionism). I also (have to) live with family, cos I've stopped being able to fully support myself - but they think I just "decided to be lazy" - they don't believe such mental conditions exist. I've been struggling to find / keep jobs during the past 3 years, but i cant blame that on lock downs. My biggest problem is that most days I can't remember what my passions are anymore, what my dreams were. They just all seem faded insurmountable now that i look back. I forgot what i was/am fighting/living for. And it's hard to remember - under the stress of just trying to make enogh for food & rent. Aged 34, i think. Used to be a software developer.

[@rockingerik]

Wow! Thanks for sharing man. I completely understand. I feel like I'm in prison sometimes. It's really hard out there and online opportunities are competitive. I'm struggling as well and I have 4 youtubes, 4 blogs, and 4 tiktoks. lol. But, hang in there. Rekindle your passion by thinking about what made you happy when you were younger. Try to start doing those things again. I used to love jogging - so Im slowly starting to jog again, etc. Check out my new video I just posted and keep coming back!

[@CarlJdP]

@@rockingerik , that's a good idea - I need to write a something to that effect on my wall to remind me wbout what used to bring me joy. When I was still a teenager, I used to design DIY electronics, build models and fly RC planes, but I haven't done any of these in years. I have this crazy idea conditioned into my being that I'm not allowed to do those old hobbies again until such a time in the future where I could be considered 'more of a success' than now - like "you can't have dessert before you eat all your veggies".

[@lukasv6669]

Im only 19 yrs old but i can relate to your videos. I think i have mild aspergers and i'm not doing any major stimming, but i do listen to music a lot as an escape from reality. Hearing your story has made me more cautious about stuff like alcohol. My thoughts on your situation is that isolation is never good. It's like addictions, it might seem like it's what you need at first but it will worsen over time. Socialising will become harder and harder. I just want you to know that you are helping fellow aspies around the world with your videos. Thank you for your vids don't be to hard on yourself!

[@rockingerik]

Thanks Lukas, self-isolating is an addiction I think. I stayed home for a week one time and drank and didn't shower because a friend had died, but it gave me a weird sense of macabre pleasure.

[@deannapalazzetti2018]

Which Perfect Circle song made you feel nostalgic? I still relate to your videos a whole lot. I have the same sort of rocking/stimming you have, and like you it is directly tied to music. I work full time, I'm married and have multiple children, but I still work in a lot of alone stimming time every day. I would be insane without it. Korn is touring with Evanescence! I just saw Evanescence last year, so I probably won't catch this one.

[@rockingerik]

Yeah I saw Evanescence was back around! The song from Perfect Circle was "Judith". When the girl screams at the end around minute 3:20, I lost it. Huge climax. Thanks for stopping by! Glad to connect.

[@deannapalazzetti2018]

@@rockingerik Judith is great, and I personally have a few different interpretations/scenarios of that track.