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Holiday Tips for Enmeshed Men

  Рет қаралды 3,229

Dr. Ken Adams

Dr. Ken Adams

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 16
@cmilk9082
@cmilk9082 5 жыл бұрын
Dr Adams, Great work! However, my experience has been that enmeshed men are unable/unwilling to recognize their enmeshment. This seems particularly true for the Golden Child son, whose entire existence was structured for the purpose of validating and worshiping mother in order to medicate for her vast insecurities and insatiable need. Therefore, to recognize this would mean having everything you’ve ever been told about your superiority be in question. Not gonna happen...
@6955beniegn
@6955beniegn 4 жыл бұрын
its not the MEM's fault. Its the 'disloyalty bind' in action
@cmilk9082
@cmilk9082 4 жыл бұрын
3Xcollasso But a MEM has free will like anyone else. Though the forces of the upbringing are very strong, they are still responsible for their own choices, blinded though they are. To let them off the hook as “not their fault” would be the same as letting an abuser off the hook because he/she was abused. The disloyalty bind might be the reason for the skewed choices, but the MEM is still culpable.
@6955beniegn
@6955beniegn 4 жыл бұрын
​@@cmilk9082 I respectfully disagree with you. . But I'd say his mother is ultimately responsible. She brainwashed him from an early age before he had any chance, before he was mentally mature, or had a choice to say no. Im a 52 yr old MEM. Never married, went 13 yrs no gf, no wife, nothing. Have no job, gave any kind of career up to care for my mother. im on disability now. It was like I was brainwashed, like i was in a cult. I was totally blind to my mother's manipulation and control. Until i got older, and read Dr Adams book. Her never ending drama was constant,...The disloyalty bind continued to control me, just like dr adams says, i would keep making bad decisions, so as to keep me loyal to my ,mother. . Tomorrow, like I do every day I will call her and listen to her complain about her depression and how her life sucks. She is 88. But now she can die, and I just wont care. I won, but I'm still unnecessarily involved, but I'm an only child, so no choice. I limit my contact with her alot. I read this too, my mother is a narcissist too Like most mother's of MEM are. kimsaeed.com/2017/01/23/8-ways-narcissists-like-cult-leaders/
@cmilk9082
@cmilk9082 4 жыл бұрын
3Xcollasso I’m sorry about the abuse you’ve suffered. What finally woke you up? What I’ve witnessed is that after the narc mom’s death, the family bestows sainthood, although they all suffered from her dynamic, favoritism, emotional vampirism.
@6955beniegn
@6955beniegn 4 жыл бұрын
​@@cmilk9082 Im an only child. No family of my own. There's not much family left. My mother was the youngest of 6, they are all dead. I signed her up for the Neptune society, $2000 cremation and i'm done. No funeral, no other relatives. Thats the way my mother wanted it, she wanted me all for herself. Just me and her, and she loved every minute of it. She was the boss. I was just her ' lazy ' son who didn't want to work, so she had to 'take care' of me, when in fact it was me babysitting her. Im still doing it till she goes....she told me to never own a house and never get married.... Until I woke up, deprogrammed myself, and with help from dr. adams book and other resources online. When I was younger, they didn't have this online info. on enmeshment etc. thankfully they do now. What woke me up was I was in the library one day and saw dr. adams book. So started reading it. It didn't sink in right away, I was too far gone, too brainwashed, too depressed, too defenseless, too enmeshed mentally, but eventually it all made sense to me. She never once has admitted, or shown any sympathy to me, its all about her, her her.... As revenge, i did get my mother to sign over her house and her money to me, she knows deep down she screwed me, so although 30 yrs were taken from me , I plan on living a long time to make up for it.
@TapIntoAlignment
@TapIntoAlignment 5 жыл бұрын
Please do mire videos on this these dysfunctional relationship dynamics that nobody wants to talk about Also the effects on those involved or try to love an enmeshed person.
@drkenadams
@drkenadams 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the feedback! More videos are on the way! Make sure to check out www.overcomingenmeshment.com for more information regarding this topic.
@dougjones4987
@dougjones4987 2 жыл бұрын
"Ma, quick come see this video quick!"
@irme8930
@irme8930 Жыл бұрын
Congratulations for your amazing work, dr. Ken Adams! I am glad that someone finally speaks about this topic. I am married since 15 years ago to an enmeshed man. He is 47 and he still doesn't realize that he's enmeshed. I noticed at first that he was very close to his mother, but I thought it was positive, he was a family guy after all. But with time I realized that his mother wants to take my place, she always knows better than me and even when we walk together she holds his arm like she were his girlfriend while ignoring and mistreating her own husband. Now we want to have kids, but I am very scared about what will happen with his mother. He has 0 accountability of beeing enmeshed.
@jimmarcuzzo7500
@jimmarcuzzo7500 5 жыл бұрын
Great message Ken. I’ve done a workshop with you in the past and was monumental in my recovery.
@1MPATIENT1
@1MPATIENT1 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like just not have a meeting at all
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