Hollow "Ally-ship" (Stephen Fry, Hogwarts Legacy, and Rising Transphobia)

This one... this one is going to be a lot. We're going to start by talking about Stephen Fry and his choice to remain friends with JK Rowling, while trying to position himself as a friend to trans people. But this is going to go some places.
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[@concernedcitizen6313]

Some people say "There's no ethical consumption under capitalism" in order to really say "All consumption under capitalism is equally unethical and so I can buy what I want."

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

Ben Shapiro and Mara Wilson are actually cousins but they don't talk to other each other because of their different political views.

[@bothi00]

I mean, that could also be due to the fact Shapiro is just a thoroughly unpleasant human being even before mentioning the politics. On top of that, he is also friends and colleagues with people who are far, far worse like Owens, Walsh, and Knowles

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

@@bothi00 Yeah I do agree he's a very unpleasant person. I do know that Mara Wilson is very progressive these days.

[@meep_cubed170]

Several years ago someone I viewed as a friend at the time did something unforgivable to one of my close friends. This was someone I cared dearly about, and I was heart broken, but I cut them off as soon as I heard. Because, even though it was one of the toughest things I ever did, I knew I could never look myself in the meyor again if I stood back knowing I was actively supporting someone who was actively harming someone else.

[@tacobowler]

I was a “separate the art from the artist” person until she tweeted that she considered her royalty check to be approval and support. That made the art = the artist.

[@someonerandom8552]

Yeah I’m still massively in that camp tbh. But seeing the pain caused by Rowling has made me think twice about supporting them monetarily. Never again

[@Elwaves2925]

The 'separate the art from the artist' can still apply as it depends on the media and her involvement. For the books I fully agree that you can't separate the two, they are solely her works from beginning to end. For the movies, it's different because while she was involved (to varying degrees) and it's obviously based on her work but she isn't the artist. The director, cinematographer, the actors, the screen writers and all the others are the artists for the movies. Now that doesn't mean you should buy the movies, as that will support her financially but you could still enjoy them (if you have them) by separating the art/artist but that's a totally personal and individual decision.

[@dickottel]

As long as the artist is alive, they will see the huge amounts of money they get as support of their opinions. If we disagree with her, we should stop giving her money. That would be a sign to her that maybe she's being problematic. I don't think she would change her mind, she'd consider herself an oppressed cis (in her opinion "real") woman, but at least she could see that society in general disagrees with her. And if the millions of $ she gets were only spent on some golden toilets in her house, it wouldn't be so harmful, but we know who she supports with her money.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

@@someonerandom8552 I think you can seperate art from an artist who is (1) long dead and a part of history or (2) is only maybe one (removed) factor from a peice of art. Like TV shows for example are made by teams of people and if the problematic factor is acknowledged and removed, I personally will not demonize an entire series for it most likely. But the HP books are Rowling. Even with movies and games being made by others as long as it’s a living series drawing in more money it feeds her visibility, power, ego, and ability to do active harm. HP is a part of the history books and JKR will be wealthy no matter what we do. But as long as her creating Harry Potter and being a living creator aids her public platform, I can’t even see the things I once loved in the story anymore, all I see is signs of the problematic woman present today.

[@clarissanavarro2762]

@@Elwaves2925 I personally feel that if you currently own the books, and can enjoy them, by all means, they are already in your possession. But that having been said....I personally do not care for how much Involvement she had in the production of content. NO content of hers is released without her approval,...and she benefits from ALL of it. I \dunno... maybe it is because I am a Trans woman that is Latina,.... it affects me personally that I have such a hard-core position. I get it,... people want to enjoy the game. It just feels VERY disheartening to hear people say " Ya, I feel bad you need to deal with transphobia,...and I get that Rawling is transphobic, and I understand that she funds transphobic charities and organizations, and Lobbies transphobic politicians,... and equates the approval of her content to being approval of her transphobic views, and I understand how all of this being directed at you by a BILLIONAIRE, with her influence hurts you directly and indirectly...Oh I forgot the Galbraith series of books.... but....I jus wanna Play a game!!!" The bare minimum of allyship is really simple. Ignore this game. Anything else is passive acceptance of transphobia at best...

[@gozerthegozarian9500]

There is a Spanish saying: "Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres." - "Tell me who you walk with and I'll tell you who you are." This is how we need to approach allyship - people whose marginalizations we don't share get to look at us, our words, our actions, our voluntary associations etc etc and tell us if we're allies or not.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Wow! I love this. Can I borrow it? It's so true. Who are we walking and standing with us a huge part of who we are.

[@gozerthegozarian9500]

@@sarahthesarah2850 Sure! I didn't come up with that phrase, I learnt it from a former partner who's Spanish. She said it's a very common saying.

[@clarissanavarro2762]

@@gozerthegozarian9500 My Grandma' drummed that into My head. Basically..." Birds of a feather flock together." or " You are known by the company you keep." If you are playing a game, along with transphobes, when trans people are asking you not to,.... I dunno how much being their ally is actually worth. I mean... it literally takes ZERO effort on their part. And they do not want to do that much?

[@leonardocarvalho2200]

Thank god i dont walk with delusional people like you… i feel sorry for you and i trully hope you can find your inner peace. Ps: leave the Children alone

[@clarissanavarro2762]

@@leonardocarvalho2200 Umm..it's you causing the children harm. God knows how many trans kids may end up taking their own lives, over anti-trans policies. As to delusion,... if science agrees with me, and you do not,... you are the delusional one. But just remember if you get therapy, it may help.

[@dariadarling]

I LOVE your point that you can't really call YOURSELF an ally... Being an ally isn't something you call yourself, it's something you DO. For someone else. Thank you, for your inclusiveness, and for your nuance, and for the stand you take.

[@dariadarling]

YEAH! We're here we're queer and we are NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

[@phoenixtaylor4411]

To me also it’s always felt more like someone in the community calls you in having noted you support of whatever group of people you are being an ally towards. People who self appoint the title I’ve often found do very little more than the bare minimum of not being an arsehole

[@hannajung7512]

It depends on context. It can often be a declaration of intend. But if you make this declaration you have to live up to it.

[@Snuzzled]

Exactly! I always say that ally is not a title, it's a verb. It's not something you are, it's something you do. I am not _an ally to_ fat people, BIPOC, the disabled, etc. I _strive to be an ally for_ those groups. And I mess up. And yeah, sometimes it means I have to sacrifice my comfort. But allyship often requires discomfort. It's uncomfortable to face the fatphobia I have engaged in, and probably do still engage in without realizing. It's uncomfortable to realize the harm I've done through my privilege. It's uncomfortable to be called out, and to have to learn and grow. But fat people don't get to make that choice. They have to live with that every day. So, it's really so minor for me to make small sacrifices because it can make all the difference to them.

[@phoenixtaylor4411]

@@hannajung7512 That's a fair point. Absolutely - they have to live up to it, and understand it's a constant commitment to learn and uplift others

[@sherminatoranalysis3429]

"Taking a stand means losing something" You've given me a lot to think about. I'd like to sincerely thank you

[@emilyrln]

When we think like individuals, we give up power. Boycotts do have an impact, but companies don't want us to realize it because the smaller we think we are, the bigger they can be. We need to think like a collective, and take action as a collective.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

I don’t think of this as a boycott so much as information to inform the choice to purchase. Some people think the worse harm JKR has done is tweet a couple things that ‘made Trans people mad’. She just had ‘a different point of view’. People are so attached to Harry (and by extent, their view of sweet ol’ JKR as just a harmless lady who wrote a cute little book) that they want to hold onto HP by any means necessary. And this is something JKR is using to prop up her platform. She takes every notch in the HP chain as ‘support’ so the only real way to take that away is, yes, to let the active franchise die. No one needs to boycott anything, just decide anyone (even the angel that wrote their favorite child book) should not be supported and turn away. Not just from her , but in all cases. It’s not a boycott and boycott is an active wait for a ‘change’ and even if content JKR has no control of makes a change within the HP universe (like the gender unlock features) JKR has said and proven she will just take that as a stamp of approval on her anti-trans views.

[@yennefer440]

I don't understand these supposed Trans allies. "I love Trans people, but I really love consumerism more. And I can't live without a video game." Seriously, I'd rather they get a spine and say they don't care.

[@vallarfaxgaming]

Okay fine I don't care, because unlike some people I can understand the concept that buying a videogame doesn't automatically mean I agree with every little thing Rowling says Seems the people who need to grow a spine are the ones who can't differentiate the franchise from the creator, because last I checked the Harry Potter franchise doesn't have some hidden underlying message about hating trans people 🤷‍♂️

[@torfinnzempel6123]

It's not like JKR owns the supreme copyrights to a school for magic that teaches magic to children. There was no reason the entire story of this video game couldn't have been told without using any of JKR's IP. They could have told the exact same story without all the anti-trans, antisemitism, and slavery justification that goes with JKR's IP.

[@torfinnzempel6123]

@vallarfaxgaming i don't know if there are anti-trans messages specifically in the HP books, but there definitely IS antisemitism and pro-slavery messages in them. There is also rampant fatphobia.

[@dinosaysrawr]

I hear it as, "I support these people's basic right to indulge in their weird little eccentricity without being assaulted, jailed, or killed when I'm around to witness or hear about it."

[@lavitorroja2632]

@@vallarfaxgaming just say you didn't watch the video and leave.

[@Princess_Weekes]

[@Josh-kt6jh]

You never need to sacrifice a sacred part of your childhood because the author has an opposing view to you. What happened to free speech? The books, movies, and game are sacred beautiful artistic creations. Learn how to seperate the artists from the art. Because Incase you aren’t aware 70% of actors in films we all love are fucking pedohiples and satanists. Especially writers and directors, like woody Allen.

[@literaterose6731]

For what it’s worth, I’ve noticed the quality of your comment sections for a long time, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it. It hurts my heart to know you have to wade through so much shit to accomplish it, but damn, I’m so so grateful. Thank you for your strength, integrity and incredible work, always. Another queer trans person here to stay, standing with you and the rest of us in solidarity!

[@MrsMelrom]

@@AlternateKek I'm intrigued, could you please define Maoism and then show how Coucil of Geeks is Maoist?

[@OldManFerdiad]

Way back in the 90s on Pride Marches we used to chant "we're here, we're queer and we're not going shopping" (that's actually what I thought you were going to say) when the route took us past big high street shops and department stores. At the time I thought of it as a camp irony, a reminder to bystanders and ourselves that we are more than our stereotypes. But "Not going shopping" is activism too. Refusing to buy products that support transphobic creators is the lowest of low bars for supposed allies. If someone is doing that, I'm really not going to trust them to be doing any actual allyship in any other arena. I for one am glad you're not going anywhere. I subscribed for your Who content way back when and really respect your nuanced commentary - and entertaining rants. Stay strong, stay stubborn, and know that your words will really help somebody somewhere feeling alone and unsupported.

[@lyricbot8513]

In the age of rainbow capitalism, we should bring this back tbh. We have more representation and rainbow-washed products than ever, but we're getting our rights stripped away every day... We're here, we're queer and we're not going shopping!

[@BomimoDK]

While you're right about the low bar, people don't have the time to change their minds from "the trannies are acting up again!" to "yeah, this is actually bigoted as fuck and there's no way Rowling doesn't realize her bigotry!" because it takes a 4 hour Jessie Gender video for people to realize that it's more than just her "calling them names" and being mean on a surface level. It's a low bar to you because you're informed that she's not just being a silly old hag. She's being evil. There's actually a difference to most people who aren't terminally online or in the eye of the storm and the way to convince them isn't paved with declaring it "the lowest of bars" or deriding them online for not having lived activism they didn't recognize the need for. Every time someone like yourself or an "ally" like me gets the message across, there's two or 3 LGBT or ally meltdowns they can shift the focus to and the people who do it aren't always disingenuous. Some of them drank the coolaid and are irrationally scared of a boogeyman. It's not a low bar when casual everyday people aren't in the know or don't see the ACTUAL harm. They think people are being hysterical and people are devensive due to said perception, so the nuances never get covered. so they think it's just a replay of the 1800s hysteria women had. Not all of your opposition is bigoted. Most are ignorant and then get dismissive when attacked. Again. the bar isn't that low when people actually don't see or comprehend the harm.

[@MrGamesKnight]

The bear minimum to be an Ally is treating a trans person as a human, as an equal. I can guarantee a good 50% of the things you buy will fund a person who doesnt like Trans people in one way or another similar to that of JK, cant outcry JUST Hogwarts legacy because JK and the game is in the spotlight, there is LOADS of things you should be boycotting if thats the case, and if you want actual ingrity in what you say

[@OldManFerdiad]

@@MrGamesKnight well yes. My point exactly. Well spotted. If we want to have integrity we don't support things which we know are actively causing harm. JKR explicitly stated that she considers supporting her IPs validates her opinions. Attention economies and financial support are taken by her as encouragement. This is not about liking or disliking. Like and dislike are just thoughts. The difference between prejudice and injustice is action. This is about using platform, reach and financial power to harm a marginalised group. It's not like anyone needs to buy a game. There are things we can't avoid economically participating in, and there are things we can. I'm encouraged that you are intelligent enough to realise that integrity means choosing not to cause harm where we can avoid it.

[@MrGamesKnight]

@@OldManFerdiad the thing is, buy the game, not buy the game, the worst it does is she sees her OPINION validated in some weird way.... so what, she isnt in charge of legislation, law, or what Trans people choose to do with thier lives. She expresses an Opinion, some of which has grounding in the likes of Isla Bryson and Karen white, people who have taken advantage of thier situation to abuse women, YES, this isnt all Trans people, but it shows a glaring hole bad people can exploit. There is also a reason why we do not see Trans Males competing in the olympics, yet see Trans Women annihilating the competition. She has Reach... so what, so do MANY Left leaning and Right leaning people, and she is FIRMLY Left leaning. Keep the internal fighting going.... it is really accomplishing nothing. Al those Boycotts of the Game, sink in the $70 towards a charity to make an impact...... Nope, not seen an influx of charity donations, its al bloody posturing... i'm personally kind of sick of it, all Talk, no Action....

[@kurathchibicrystalkitty5146]

Watching Jessie Gender's latest video, and then watching this video back to back, might've been a mistake. I feel exhausted, emotionally. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help, I don't even know how to be me, all of me, since I haven't come out, and probably won't come out, to my family. But, thank you, CoG, for making this video. It gives me hope. You're a wonderful person. 😺

[@CouncilofGeeks]

I know it’s a lot. I know it’s overwhelming. But you’re not alone. If it’s not your blood relations who are there for you, others can and will be.

[@kurathchibicrystalkitty5146]

@@CouncilofGeeks Thank you, so much. One of my goals this year is to find a safe space for myself to truly be free. I'm going to do my best no matter what.

[@krose6451]

I hope your able to find a safe place and peoplewhom you can trust with all yourself. Take care, be safe, and be kind to yourself.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Hi there, I hope you are as well as can be. It can be rough and overwhelming to process all of this. Coming out and who you come out to is so intensly personal. Take care and stay safe. At least these days we can find support online. I have hope too because 20 years ago I could not access content like this. Now I feel old 😆.

[@gamewrit0058]

Leena Norms' latest video is about things that have gone right in the world lately, if you want to listen to a cheery British lady who's a good ally. Leaving virtual love, luck, and fortitude spoons here, in case you'd like to have them. ❤️🍀🥄

[@kelpiekit4002]

JK Rowling, through Dumbledor, told her friends like Stephen Fry how to treat her when he talked about the courage of standing up to your friends. He could be her friend and still hold her to account for her views. Maybe she'd break the friendship then but that's her choice. So it's not a choice between trans allyship and friendship. It's a choice of actively being an ally or not and Stephen Fry and others chose not.

[@krose6451]

Agreed. Im not for cutting the friendship/realationship harm unless its doing you harm. Stick around. Challenge. And not just privately. I am very close to my grandmother and I NEVER stay quiet if she says something even slightly inaccurate or outright prejiduce regarding members of the lgbtq+ community. I politely correct. I call her out. Does she get frustrated with me? Yes. Does it add tension to our relationship sometimes? Yes, more so when we first atartedclashing though. Does she hate when I do it with her church friends too? Yep! But after the third time I was able to debate with them in front of her and they took it to rediculious extremes while I continued to be respectful and i formed, it made her start realizing I knew what I was talking about. I have the facts and Ive listened to their beleifs for enough of my life to use it against them when they try using those beliefs as an excuse to judge and cause harm. Slowly over time its made some small differences. I was able to change the view of one of her friends and prehaps oddly to some got my grandmother to come to be more understanding of trans issues even if she is still stuck on other things. Because Im around they arent able to judtpat eachother onthe back and echo the same misinformation without facing reistance. Actually one of the debates proved to her little group that the one women who they always viewed as very informed and well research was talking out her as when I had to keep correcting her on very basic things. Women was trying to argue the harm gay couples having surrogates causes without actually knowing much of anything about surrogacy. If Stephen Fry actually cares for trans people or people as a whole he would use that love for learning things he has, do the research,discover how much hatm she and the groups she supports does, then share that knowlege with her. As her friend he's in a better position then most to make a difference.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

Yea I thunk I'm on this wagon. I think especially with public figures, this reaction makes sense. I don't think I could abandon a friend for stuff like that, I had these situations before where I disagreed with my friends actions, and then I will publicly defend them but privately sit down with them and have a more meaningful conversation, in the right space, with the appropriate wording and the right time. And I think that is how a good friend will handle a situation like this. I just hope he actually does take this approach, Fry has been a man that has made me feel compassion in many occasions and I want to believe that he is not as ignorant on this matter. He has made several documentaries where he adressed people with HIV, homosexuality and he has been really open about his bipolar disorder and how this has triggered more than one suicide attempt. I just imagine he knows the importance of a support system.

[@johnvinals7423]

Don’t be Stephen Fry. Be Ian McKellen.

[@heatherrockwell9012]

Or, better yet, don’t judge your allyship by comparing to celebrities. Just do it yourself. (I love Ian McKellen, but still)

[@johnvinals7423]

@@heatherrockwell9012 I just wanted to sing that man’s praises.

[@EmlynBoyle]

Ian McKellen is a terrific defender of the trans community--especially against hypocritical members of the queer community who attack transfolk.

[@johnvinals7423]

@@EmlynBoyle I will draw thee, Trans Exclusionary Radical Determinists, as poison is drawn from a wound.

[@tysondennis1016]

Wokedalf is great

[@firemermaid1980]

When you were talking about fake allies, I was thinking about fat-shaming concern trolls and how they don't care about my health, but about how virtuous they are for no being fat. Then you brought up the anti-fatness.👍

[@hannajung7512]

its even worse, they do not care about you as a person at all. They care about how fuckable your body is.

[@johnnytower6169]

I’m a substance abuser, I’ve burnt through hundreds of thousands of dollars over a couple decades on drugs, sex, alcohol, tobacco, parties. I’ve lost my family, I’ve lost relationships, I’ve lost jobs, opportunities, love and physical health. I drink a couple of bottles of wine a day, smoke cigarettes, weed, casually use opium and amphetamines. I’m currently trying to get outta a relapse. I gym everyday, eat well, take supplements, I can run kilometres, I lift weights, box, ride motorcross bikes. I’m fit as hell. I study full time at a university. I hide my addiction well But if I told anyone how much I use they immediately have a go at me citing health. They aren’t concern trolling, they’re concerned because you can’t hide your addiction. Gain some self awareness. If you wanna be overweight or obese that’s fine but people actually care. You’re just in the grip of an addiction, just like me. It’s all feels fine now, until one day it isn’t. One day you’ll see and it’ll be too late. Just. Like. Me.

[@dante6985]

@@johnnytower6169 Complete bs. The vast majority of people - OUTSIDE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS - who express worry for other people's 'larger' bodies aren't doing so from a place of "empathetic concern." They're bullying.

[@dante6985]

This comment about fauxlies (can I coin that term?) reminds me of channels like obs2beast who was on Dr. Phil. It cloaks itself in 'benevolence'. "Criticizing body positivity", that's just making a political point, right? Maybe helping people get healthy? Until you realize the crux of the content is criticizing and making fun of overweight people.

[@vallarfaxgaming]

@@dante6985 if someone is fat as fuck and bordering on diabetes pointing it out isn't shaming, it's common sense Only this generation would enable shit like obesity and being a fat little jelly belly diabetic fuck

[@kaworunagisa4009]

I'm honestly tired of people confusing ally-ship with not being an active enemy. If someone isn't holding a weapon to my head, it doesn't necessarily mean they're on my side.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

You know, I would agree, but I also think you underestimage how much privilege blinds you. Sometimes people don't believe this stuff out of hatred for trans people, but because maybe some people would be laughed at by their parents and to some degree humiliated to be an acive ally to trans people. I know you guys experience the worse outcome, but when you weigh it against the fact that these people will lead normal happy lives by just staying in denial, then it makes more sense to act like this... This is not to say it is right, I can just relate to having been ignorant about this and liking every apache helicopter post on 9gag and now I cringe at the thought of that and understand that I was just very eager in being the girl my parents would want me to be, and because I care about integrity, I also had to demonstrate that thought to some extend. Luckily, I had very abusive parents, so I don't entirely resist the thought of exploring my initial beliefs and finding them to be the beliefs of my parents and not really my own. But some people have kind and supportive parents, that would turn on them. So this quiet, inaction is already a big step for them, because it is the best they can bring themselves to do, and even when it isn't much, they are doing it for you.

[@kaworunagisa4009]

@@corneliahanimann2173 And I think you either confuse not being an ally with being an enemy or think that wishing someone well is the same as helping them. To illustrate the latter in a less controversial way, I had a grandma who always wanted to help, and her way of doing it was by constantly bringing us stuff we didn't need. Like several loafs òf bread, a few kilos of fruit on the verge of going bad, low quality clothes in random sizes. Did she want to help? Yes. Did she care about us? Yes. Did she ever listen to us when we told her what we really wanted? Nope. And as a result we regularly had to spend time and energy dealing with her gifts -- cook the damn fruit before it goes completely bad, do something with the bread, find someone who needs the clothes, etc. Good intentions on someone's part do not constitute actual help, and ally-ship is about actual help, not just intentions.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@kaworunagisa4009 no I think you misunderstand what I was trying to say, but I might have overcomplicated it. This is not necessarily just good intention, but it isn't inaction. I just think, as someone who is white and who is not trans, I try do do my part wherever the opportunity arises and for that reason I watch videos like this. But it is always difficult to recognize that you are privileged and maybe take stuff for granted that is something others don't have sccess to. I just notice how we act like privilege is something people need to ve perfectly aware of when really everyone experiences some degree of privilege and has likely struggled with noticing that there is someone with less privilege that is struggling. My biggest problem with this is, that it indirectly creates a situation where the privileged person has to listen to the less privileged. But a lot of what activists state is, that in this case, we should not use certain words, not feed into certain systems, listen to people who suffer and try to not contribute to that suffering, and in effect, taking away from a privileged person, is restricting them, and because we are growing more open to more nuanced discussions, so more restrictions and more indirect shame follows so, this leads to a lot of privileged people throwing hands and saying "what do you want? You get more and more rights and it is never enough". And this is maybe a bad reaction of a privileged person, but it is also how they feel, whether or not that is bound to reality or truth or fairness, it is undeniable that many feel that way. What would help providing s counterweight is if people stated also positives in these situation, like "don't buy the Harry Potter game! Buy this *game* instead or "this behaviour is ignorant, do this instead". Like, I know the minorities are facing very eeal issues and demand to be treated like actual people, which should be the bare minimum, you should not even have to fight for this, it was your right to begin with, but you're being denied of it. I think I understand that. I just want to add that we have to be a bit more practical with the approach. Stating that people should not call themselves allies because they don't take the extra step that would actually mean a big sacrifice (meaning stuff like accepting to be treated like less by your own family) is just not going to encourage them to do what is right. And please don't get me wrong, because I do want to be an ally, but I think to some degree you also need to hear what the privileged person is dealing with, because there is no point in trying to make changes based on ideals and not on the capacity in which you are going to ve heard snd the xapacity in which we can come your way without losing half the people that were on board with coming your way.

[@kaworunagisa4009]

​@@corneliahanimann2173 Look, I understand your point perfectly. And to make it crystal clear, I'm not accusing you of being a bad person. What I'm trying to say is, don't try to whitewash your history. Or your current actions. Having done something in the past that would be considered bad today is not necessarily a reflection of your character right now, but it is a part of your history. It's not a dig, just a fact. And also, there are no participation medals in life. And I do get that losing a privilege feels like an attack, but letting people keep their privileges while making other people suffer is not being considerate, it's giving up. In this regard, I'm perfectly fine ruffling a few feathers if it means getting a chance to have an actual life. And as to why I say I understand your point, I, an ethnically Russian person, was born in USSR, and my paternal grandparents were headmasters in 2 elite schools, the kind of schools where party leaders' children went, and my parents and sisters enjoyed quite a lot of privilege because of that. I got less because by the time I was born my grandparents were already retired, but at least I was an ethnic default, and USSR wasn't particularly sexist, so being AFAB didn't affect me much. I was also brainwashed to hell and back by my narc Mommy Dearest and enabler Dad, so I didn't realise I was a guy, let alone a straight guy, for a very long time. So, yes, I do know what it is like being an ignorant privileged asshole, and I'm not going to whitewash it. It's part of my history. The "yuck, I don't get it" kind of homophobia and transphobia, the casual racism towards the current title ethnicity, the casual anti-semitism, the disdain towards religious people. That's part of my history. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to make excuses for it either. Then 1991 happened, and all of the social capital my family had went down the drain. Oh, and my arrogant intelligentsia parents didn't even try to adjust to the new capitalist reality, so we went from pretty well off to barely having enough money for food and bills. Then mid 90s came along and anti-Russian racism reared its ugly head. And it's been getting progressively worse since then, spiking and slightly subsiding in waves, but never going away. Then several waves of emigration hit, so but early 2010s Russians went from over 60% of the population to something like 20%, so now the title ethnicity could behave like real bullies, and they had numbers on their side. And by that time sexism had also reached a point where being AFAB meant that you would be laughed out of even an attempt to get into certain professions. So, yeah, I know what it's like having it all, as well as losing it all, from losing privilege to losing actual human rights. And I also know the amount of effort it takes to actually learn and grow. But I also know that unless some privileged lazy butt gets forcefully knocked off their high horse and experiences what it's like being less than equal, they just won't get it. So I would rather they b*tch and whine for a bit and then get used to it, than letting them hold on to their power.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@kaworunagisa4009 I'm actually a bit at a loss for words lol. God damn you have already lived a life by the time I was born, I was born in 1993, I really can't argue with this, you do make me think, but I also wonder that maybe I just have a bit more faith in people, and have been through less disappointment in that sense? I don't know. See I personally came to the conclusion that this world and especially this time really needs trans people, because they seem to be the only people that are actually happy to be their gender. I see a lot of women like JK, that want to insist that because you haven't been through the societal problems of a woman, or because you've never given birth, that these people aren't really women. As someone who has been abused in her childhood, I just know what mental state you're in when you want to insist that trauma is part of an experience to finally be part of the thing, and it is not a healthy place. I wouldn't want other people to go through this stuff just so I can feel verified in my experience in this body, that's just a very toxic thing to push. We really hold onto so much resentment towards the gender roles society has given to us, and project it onto people that have decided to just break free from that and make their choice. So while I don't relate to the struggle of trans people, they are very important to see that we really don't need to hold onto toxicity. I can tell you have grown tired of people that think the bare minimum is a huge deal, when there is such a long way to go, but I just prefer to think that we don't need to actually fight the wars in order to start harmonizing, but I fear maybe one day I will come to the same conclusion as you did, which is that you might aswell just go ahead and demand what is yours because you can't wait for the world to start treating trans people like people. I will still insist that I wish allthe criticism that we get and that I will get in the future for my ignorance, was also followed up with an explanation for how things are done right , so I feel like I have a ladder out of this feeling of shame for where I've done wrong. I understand that most people are tired of having to explain this, but it would help me out to do better too.

[@raininscotland]

I was that massive Harry Potter fan who had wanted this game all my life. Now I can't even look at HP stuff without thinking about the damage she's doing now. She's ruined that world already, even without the horrible plot to the game. I'd also like to add as someone living in Scotland, most of us are disgusted with the UKs decisions recently. Such as blocking our gender reform bill. Everything feels like it's going backwards in the world right now.

[@phoebegee54]

Yeah, I can only see things getting worse from here and I wish I didn't feel this way.

[@nicoler5713]

English and equally disgusted and yet not at all surprised that our government fucked over your progress once again. It's exhausting to see utterly harmless bills blocked while the tories vote to allow more sewage to be pumped into rivers.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Greetings from a person living in New York state, USA. I feel like a huge part of the back sliding is cause by folks spreading misinformation and calling marginalized groups( especially Trans people these days) a threat to social order and a danger. It feels like grade school bullying taken to a threatening extreme. It's scary that people who have such a huge fan base are using their influence to further such destructive and polarizing narratives. Harry Potter books ironically helped get me through some of the trauma in middle school and highschool. It was a way for me to hope that maybe I could find a magical place where I would be accepted for being gender-fluid and nuero-divergent. That maybe there could be spaces where I can be myself. Now this has damaged the frame of that hope. Still I see progress. I can post comments like these and watch well made videos like these . In the location I am now I don't have to worry as much about neighbors calling child protective services or the police to investigate me as a parent just because I am different,( unlike rural East Texas) I celebrate the changes I can. I have to be careful not to make myself a bigger target, my daughters are bullied at school as is. Things are getting better though. Change happens almost on a pendulum. There will always be push back from those who are afraid to lose something as humanity progresses. Thank you for inspiring me to write this. Hope y'all are well and have the opportunity to experience the best of life with loved ones.

[@vallarfaxgaming]

I can watch Harry Potter and engage in the franchise just fine because i genuinely don't care what Rowling does in her personal life, let's be honest she's wealthy as fuck and hasn't had to worry about anything in life for probably the last decade and a half I'm purchasing hogwarts legacy purely because A the developers have put a considerable amount of love and care into it and B because frankly it's the hogwarts dream we all had growing up and I refuse to disallow myself to continue enjoying a franchise purely because the creator is controversially unpopular, I mean fuck it if she's profiting from anything it's the royalties, last i checked buying the game does not directly make her money as she has no involvement so i don't care, boycotting it will not have any affect i can promise that much

[@raininscotland]

@@vallarfaxgaming so you didn't bother watching the video. Got it. If you're looking for an argument, you've come to the wrong place.

[@angiep2229]

I guess cis "allies" have the privilege of still being able to be friends with transphobes. One reason I do not personally EVER refer to myself as an ally is because I feel strongly that it is not for me to say this about myself. Much like saying, "I'm a good person!" This isn't told, it is shown. Other people can say you're a good person, and it's fine to accept that praise, but you don't tell other people. If you feel you HAVE to tell people, it's because people don't already know based on your actions. And that probably means you've failed. I strive to be an ally. I strive to be a good person. I cannot be friends with a racist. An incel. A transphobe. I will not. And I do judge other people who are, and probably think less of them. Possibly wouldn't be friends with those people either, because being okay with those things validates and perpetuates the hatred. (That song "Your Racist Friend" keeps playing in my head now.) The sweat shop thing had me pause, thinking about people who can't afford expensive clothes, but then I remembered shopping at thrift shops and realized you're right. People who can't afford expensive clothes probably are not the ones buying things made in sweat shops. At least not new.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

On the thrift store topic, that's valid. Although I'm in the unfortunate position of having the local thrift store be the Salvation Army which... yeah I'm not going there.

[@notuptome]

@@CouncilofGeeks how far from you is the nearest goodwill or other thrift shop.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

@@notuptome for one with adult clothes? Almost an hour and a half. Other stuff in town is either not priced for affordability or is focused on kid’s items, and nearby towns are general thrift stores with tiny clothing sections. Now, I will readily admit I can and should be putting in more effort to make that trip, but that’s the situation I’m dealing with.

[@notuptome]

@@CouncilofGeeks Well maybe someday you can make a trip of it maybe even take some detours maybe find out of the way little cafe or something I just have fun have a fun day You never know what treasures you might find .

[@JamesLawner]

@@CouncilofGeeks Can you go thrifting online?

[@ILAJonouchi]

I genuinely had one of my managers come up to me in work last week, looking to be absolved for the fact they will be buying the Hogwarts Legacy game. They started the conversation with the words 'have you seen all the fuss they're making online, calling people who are planning to buy the game transphobic' to which I simply responded, 'considering the fact JK has said anyone who finacially supports her, supports her ideas too, I get where they're coming from'. (I'm nonbinary trans)

[@ZoeMalDoran]

A bunch of time watching this video, my mind went to General Martok in the season 6 finale of Star Trek Deep Space Nine growling "What good is an ally who will stab you in the back?" , and that's probably the most succinct way I can put this situation. It sucks that hatred is winning right now, but it can't win forever... well unless we go past the point where we can salvage life on Earth before we manage to get love and kindness back on top again :(

[@NIRDIAN1]

Yeah that is what most people seem to not understand... I don't hate anyone who (not out of spite) actively engages with and supports this franchise, or the few like it (like Ender's Game, Attack On Titan, Atlas Shrugged, etc.), but it just saddens me that I can't trust them. Ever again. If they don't take the effort to avoid, or circumvent, something that will directly harm me, how could I ever count on them having my back in anything...?

[@daviniarobbins9298]

I have come to love DS9 and it is now my favourite series of Star Trek. They were really ahead of the curve back in the 1990s with DS9. I wish they would give it the HD treatment but I guess CBS/Paramount don't want to spend $2 million.

[@nozzlepie]

I've heard it described as the "liberal curse", which ends up with accepting that there are valid arguments and thus platforming hate speech against people who just want to live.

[@sojabursche]

my father and my one younger sister were the only people i was close to from my family, suddenly he kept saying racist stuff, and at first i tried to help him to let go of those "views" and at first it seemed to be working too but then the things he was saying were getting more and more racist and ultimately i gave up and broke off contact with him and everyone who didn't break off contact with him and continues to associate with him. that included that younger sister of mine. last i heard they are both anti-vax and virus deniers now, so i am glad i broke off contact when i did. because it clearly has only gotten worse.. i will block a lot of accounts over the next few months probably, its everyone who puts the game being played on their channel on sight! also yikes that they actually put an adult trans ban into effect, i had heard about it being planned but yikes

[@sojabursche]

@@kirgizikable 😂😂😂 actually they are still trying to contact me after over 3 years, and I am very far from alone I have now more people in my life than I had before I kicked them out of my life 🤣🤣🤣 but keep lying to yourself about how the people in your life actually care about you and don’t just tolerate the hate you spew to keep face because they think it’s what they have to do. You already know this will not last forever, when 1 starts and says enough a lot of the rest will immediately follow. When I said “I’m never coming back if you keep my pandemic denying uncle around” everyone that was left was like “ok he’s out!” Some of the people who initially wanted to keep the contact with my father also came back, said they were not ready to see how full of hate he is but me leaving opened their eyes that they don’t have to put up with it but they didn’t leave sooner because they were reluctant in admitting how they were in the wrong for supporting hate with their presence.

[@WillaLamour]

Let's be clear, Fry and other UK celebrities are cowards. They're frightened with what JK will do - because of what she's already done. She's pay-rolling much of the ongoing transphobia in the UK now. That much is clear. This is why it's getting worse in the UK and not better. Honestly, when you speak to these celeb's privately they say it pretty clearly she's an awful person, but you won't catch them saying in front of a camera. She'll screw them over and she make's that very, very clear apparently.

[@johnvinals7423]

Me to the British celebs: Guys, she’s not a mafioso. She doesn’t have an army of hired goons who will shoot your brains out or skin you alive if you talk back to her.

[@tokublwhovian]

I’d happily tell the TERF to shove her “views” where the sun doesn’t shine, celebs don’t scare me. No matter how rich or powerful they are.

[@EmlynBoyle]

I think SF is genuinely afraid of her. Despite her being once a nobody who was lucky to have him narrate the HP audiobooks.

[@phoebegee54]

Do Twitter followers translate into real power, that's the question. I guess they do?

[@phoebegee54]

@@EmlynBoyle I could see her starting campaigns to ruin careers etc.

[@pencilpauli9442]

TBH I haven't been a big fan of Fry for a while. There's something off about him imho. Think it's possibly his liberal worldview. It's simply not a question of "agreeing to disagree" with someone on the issue of trans people's rights. There is NO fucking question up for discussion. Trans people are human beings who, in a supposedly modern democratic civilised society, all people have the same rights. We don't have such a society atm, in part because some people in the centre just shrug and say we have to listen to both sides of the story, at best. No. That isn't fucking good enough.

[@literaterose6731]

Eh, I haven’t been a fan of his for a long time now. Among other things, he’s been on the Steven “better angels of our nature” Pinker neoliberal the-world-just-keeps-getting-better* bandwagon for quite a while, and that’s a major turnoff. He seems to be very blind to any genuine marginalization that doesn’t directly affect him. * for wealthy cis white men, aka the folks who count. Yeah, I am Not. A. Fan.

[@SplotPublishing]

You know he wouldn't have truck with any "friend" who made similar jokes and comments about black people, or gays, or Jewish folk. Nope, just the trans, because Stephen doesn't really get it, not yet anyway. Graham Norton should pull him aside for a conversation about that hateful heifer and the correct answer to such questions. "(Gay) guy on the telly" being used for an "opinion" they have no expertise in, wise.

[@marocat4749]

@@SplotPublishing Probably the only way he gets it,.

[@pjmlfc05]

Yes, every single person should have the same rights no matter what. But every single person has the right to a view or opinion regardless of whether you agree with it or you dont. Every person should think for themselves.

[@pencilpauli9442]

@@pjmlfc05 Does every right wing hatemonger even think for themselves? Where do they get the information from to come to the conclusion that all trans people are paedophiles who want to attack women in toilets? There's no middle ground here, when the argument is to drive a minority out of existence. You cannot in good faith claim to be for the rights of a group who wants to commit genocide as being about freedom of speech or choice. Fuck the fascistic bastards. We've seen where it ends when you extend to them the rights they want to deny others.

[@teddymasters1347]

If your allyship can't sustain even the smallest sacrifice, then it is worthless

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

It’s litterally a bloody video game. There’s other games, including ones with the ability to play as a trans character. Jessie Gender mentioned a few in her video.

[@bloodywilliam3083]

I’ve done more by a) not buying this game and b) buying a game by a trans woman. This is barely anything, and yet it is more than what a lot of people have done.

[@youarebusteduser]

@@TheDawnofVanlife be black first before the cops create another breanna situation

[@Somero5115]

And if you need to control what people do and like otherwise you will attack people: that makes you a controlling abuser

[@teddymasters1347]

@@Somero5115 No one is saying that you can't buy the game. We are saying that doing so is harmful and you shouldn't if your morals align with the trans and/or Jewish community. I don't understand why people are fighting so hard for this game. If you really want to play it, go right ahead. Just know that your money is directly funding anti trans causes and the ego of JK. Saying that an action is an indicator that someone has a different set of morals than me is a far cry from controling people. Just don't try and call yourself an ally to the trans community if you partake.

[@ArielVHarloff]

Your audible sigh when saying you're not try to "cancel" Stephen Fry was so relatable

[@pjaypender1009]

"There is no ethical consumption under capitalism." That's a response appropriate when you can't afford not to shop at Walmart, or your're disabled and can't avoid using Amazon to get what you need. It's not a response to being asked to not buy or play a video game when there's hundreds of other video games you could choose instead.

[@lunaskies624]

I'm non-binary/trans and mixed race. For any other marginalised group that I'm not directly a member of I prefer to go by he phrase "I try to be an ally as much as I can" rather than "I am an ally". As you correctly say Vera, we all have blind spots and maybe we could all at times be doing more to help support different groups. And you're so right - as trans people we're here to stay and aren't going anywhere.

[@erikrungemadsen2081]

We are humans, not plaster saints, real life is messy, complicated and unpredictable. We can only try to the best, with what we are, what we have and what we know.

[@bookbelle5475]

Since you mentioned Oklahoma and the mess going on there, I just want to shout out Freedom Oklahoma, an LGBTQ2S+ education and advocacy group in OK that has been doing work to try and stop these harmful bills from passing while also supporting and providing safe spaces for LGBTQ2S+ folks.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Thank you for sharing

[@JanetDax]

I am a 71 year old transperson. I am wondering if there is any way I can find a place of safety. My anxiety is preventing me from enjoying what is left of my life. None of this makes any rational sense to me. That people can be so evil is inconceivable. A stupid game. One question I had was about supporting the devs for making a gender unlocked game. Why can't we just get along?

[@kurathchibicrystalkitty5146]

"Why can't we just get along?" I've been wondering that almost every day, for a long time. If I may share just a few of the things that give me comfort? Reading books, eating yummy food, cuddling with my cat, watching funny videos, listening to music, going for walks in nature, playing board games, enjoying just plain silence... Taking social media breaks, too, is very important. I do know that these kinds of things may not be for you, or you may not have access, but what I'm trying to say in this very ramble-y comment, is that...from one stranger to another, you are loved.

[@sii479]

I'm really so sorry

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Hello another stranger here. I find that there is so much push back because there are people who are terrified of the rapid pace at which the world is changing. It does not help that the extreme media is targeting trans people and identifying them as dangerous. Science is actually backing the validity of Trans folks. Most of the _ist( racist, fascist, phobic) folks in my family do not accept or respond to scientific logic. They feel safe in standing on the" it is wrong and dangerous because it is different" mentality. As humans continue to evolve and become more aware, there are those who are beginning to realize that there are People who are different and that's ok. The push back comes from the people who are scared that those who are different will somehow make their " normality" unacceptable. It still is painful and dangerous for those of this who are different. I've been working on developing compassion for those folks living in the fear and terror that causes them to be so violent and aggressive. Maybe if I understand them with compassion I can open a conversation with those who will. For those who it's not safe to be around understanding them helps me to better stay safe. I just want us all to be able to get along too. Thank you for posting y'all. Hopefully we can be who we are safely. For reference I am gender fluid afab. I am blessed that my core family accepts me. I am still not out in some spaces in order to protect my kids. Ally ship is complicated. I hope by having open conversations and seeing each other as people we can make things better.

[@insertname2035]

You're old enough to get some perspective

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

The devs were already paid in development and the video game industry is volatile no matter the success of the game. There is no evidence there careers will be impacted one way or the other no matter how well the game sells.

[@cakt1991]

I *loved* Harry Potter growing up, so I get the nostalgia factor to an extent. But so many people are invested in this franchise to the point where it seems like they haven’t read another book. You can literally find similar books even within middle grade that do diversity better, and based on people’s lived experiences. Heck, I read *two* middle grade magic school books last year, Witchlings by Claribel Ortega (which is getting a sequel this year and even has its own similar Sorting Quiz online) and The Marvellers by Dhonielle Clayton. And then there’s everything Rick Riordan is connected to, from his own work to especially his Rick Riordan Presents imprint, which shows he’s a true ally for underrepresented voices, using his platform to help them rather than further enrich himself. There’s even more out there I can’t think of right now, but it’s actually really easy to find stuff that fulfills a familiar niche while not being harmful if you’re open to trying.

[@adorabell4253]

Tamora Pierce. I prefer the circle of magic series both for rep and plot bit both her worlds are fantastic.

[@firemermaid1980]

And with Rick Riordan presents he is using his name to promote a variety of authors from a variety of cultures to write about their own culture. Not appropriating it for stories he then writes. I have found so many great new authors in this imprint.

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

Thank you! I was as deep into HP as you could get, running two HP fansites at one point. But it was pretty black and white to me, even if I walk out in an HP shirt I bought 8 years ago I was throwing up support for this woman and her views (at least in her mind) and I was not ok with that, even if she has NO idea who I am. So nope, I will gladly replace that with a support trans kids shirt. I am a queer cis woman and even many well meaning queer folks are passive allys at best when it comes to Trans rights. I wouldn’t consider myself an ally, because I don’t think I do enough to deserve that. But I am happy to stand my ground where I see a deep line in the sand and actively do the best I can to support anyone who’s basic rights are violated or being threatened and the smallest thing I can do is not by HP games or books or movies.

[@brewster9235]

I think it’s more about nostalgia more than it is quality at this point, to be fair. If the HP books just came out and all of this happened, it makes me wonder if these things would even be debated

[@FabbrizioPlays]

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy is my personal favorite alternative.

[@melodyqueen6432]

Lady Wylde, I always have something to say about your videos, but it generally runs too long and I erase it all. This topic meant too much to me to do that today. Thank you so much for your channel and your videos. You tell us every time, but you deserve to hear it from one of us. You are beautiful. You are valid. And you are loved. By so many and so much. "There's no ethical consumption under capitalism" is, I think, perhaps one of the more understated yet profound implications of this and many other divisive topics concerning marginalized communities. Coming up through my 20's, it was heartbreaking to have my worldview shattered by the lack of an ethical foundation in everything from healthcare, education, law enforcement, the military, religion.... "Our democratic republic is a place where anybody has a fair shot at success.... unless you are one of the 6% of people that the NAIRU determines must be looking for work but cannot find it. We need to sacrifice the livelihood of 1 in 20 people to prevent an inflationary collapse of our economy for the rest of us." I worked at a hospital system in the bible belt for 10 years as a CNA, and my job was to essentially deliver the acceptable level of neglect to patients as determined by administration. If I tried to escalate problems such as bedsores and falls and missed meals, the answer was that I obviously couldn't deliver the care that the patients are promised, but I should just do my best to do as much as I can with the help that I had. Like I said, heartbreaking. On occasion, I would have a 1:1 assignment with a patient that needed constant monitoring due to impulsivity or confusion. Sometimes, the family would come in and it was clear they were conservative and had a distinctly "not-positive" reaction to the presence of a trans caregiver in the room. This typically presented as a very awkward, quiet morning with sideways glances, critical remarks about care, and the like. Generally before halfway through the day, through a display of compassion, empathy, and a desire to make their loved one as comfortable as possible, it would become clear that they were no longer remotely concerned about "my parts" and their judgement of my character quickly became based on my quality as one of the most engaged and kind healthcare workers they had ever met. Indeed, more than once those fox-news watching families would do their best to secure me as part of the care team in the future. I've come to understand that the people in society who do not value me or my views cannot possibly be persuaded to open their minds to change unless they are exposed to my ideals without feeling personally condemned for their own. I can choose not to interact with people who support the GOP, I can wish I didn't have to deal with them, but at the end of the day... they still get to vote. As long as their only experience with the trans-community is either what the far-right feeds them or what the far-left has to say about them, nobody's mind will ever change and queers are destined to continue to fight just to exist. However, this is where the personal experience in private/professional lives differs from the effects of actions and statements demonstrated by people who have built their success on being icons and role models for a larger audience. People like Stephen Fry, who is popular and beloved BECAUSE of his apparent altruism in the queer space, I would argue have a responsibility to respond to strong cultural phenomenons that effect their fan base. JK's outpouring of anti-trans sentiments is without a doubt one such phenomenon. In Terf Wars, replace the word "trans" with "black" or "refugee" or "immigrant" and the dangers of the rhetoric becomes readily apparent to anybody outside the trans-community. Imagine trying to defend "Americans-only" bathrooms. If "Troubled Blood" was about a Scottish person trying to pass as a Londoner to get away with violent crime rather than a "man dressing as a woman to attack women," I think we can agree would be considered inflammatory. While I certainly don't believe that the best way to get JK to stop fear-mongering is to remove anybody from her life that might represent trans people in a positive way, Fry has positioned himself as a global leader in queer communities. If anything, I hope in their private conversations he has been able to provide additional perspective that she had not previously considered. Ideally, he would "take a stand" by speaking publicly about the effects of dangerous speech like kind coming from Rowling, without alienating her as a companion. If she has drawn a line in the sand in which that's not possible, it sucks, but it's clear that Fry has chosen to stay on the wrong side of that line. Her career has long since been neutral and now actively harmful, and it is morally compromising to publicly promote her business ventures in any way. I don't alienate people who still watch and love Harry Potter. I might be their only window into the lifestyle and hardships of being trans. Largely, I feel like I'm successful at that. I don't want to groom your children, I'm not trying to display my sexual nature... I want to help people, I want to be a positive influence on the world, I want... I want to buy clothes or go pee without the anxiety of a police call. I've never convinced somebody of that by calling them a transphobe, but I am certain that I have on more than one occasion by just being kind. That won't work on everyone, and that's when you have to take a stand. That's when you have to say.... I'M HERE. I'M QUEER. AND I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. And Stephen Fry, my good man, it hurts me to say that you have missed the mark. Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Never fail to be kind, and if you ever are, always make amends.

[@saphcal]

perfect use of that quote from the 12th doctor.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Wow! I am stunned by this beautiful and well thought out reply. You have managed to express with such clarity some of the deepest things I can relate to. These feelings can be so complex and painful to wrestle with. I have encountered the same thing in the medical field. I used to work as a PMA then a CNA. My multiple sclerosis got too bad to work. There is just so much heartbreak and so many people slip through the cracks. I found that my existence as a gender fluid, nuero-divergent, disabled person makes people uncomfortable. It causes them to be confronted with reality they would rather ignore. It can be dangerous to me and my kids when they react with violence and fear. I no longer live in Texas because of this. I think about the people who are not able to move to escape the danger and oppression. I am truly disgusted by the people who associate me with child groomers for being gender-fluid when I was targeted by an abuser as a child. It was horrid when I was investigated for that for being gender-fluid and pansexual. Luckily I was found innocent and to be a good parent. My children and I are in therapy. The investigation was so invasive and the way my neighbors reacted so traumatic. Even though I was intensively investigated and found innocent, my children and I were still bullied and treated as a social disease. There were folks who still accepted us but many were scared to stand with us. They did not open themselves to the abuse I suffered. Here in New York I am able to be more myself. I am still careful for my daughters. Lots of support for you. Thank you for sharing your experience. It has helped me to have the courage to share mine too. I want to be a window too. I want to challenge the narrative of those who call us a danger, with presence, compassion and kindness. I do this with baby steps. The fact that I can post a comment like this is a good start. Having conversations with neighbors that won't harm me or accuse me of harming my kids by being gender-fluid is a start. It can be so tricky to navigate. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being you even when it is so painful, dangerous and difficult to do so. I hope that those of us who cultivate compassion and kindness can change the world with our presence and actions in the best and most beneficial of ways for everyone. Please be well and please keep posting such though provoking and amazing comments. I know it can be tedious and makes you vulnerable. It is so valuable and nessisary though. It is the kind of support and validation that folks who have not yet found a way to voice themselves need.Thank you. May the best of life and the best of humanity embrace you as you need and desire in the most beautiful and wholesome ways.

[@arwenspicer]

Hear, hear!

[@thomasahearn4142]

I was Facebook friends with a guy until I saw him post the following: "Just literally had an argument with a trans. I won." I unfriended him after that. Of course, online friendship are much easier to end than real life ones.

[@paulhammond6978]

Well, maybe he was having an argument with a trans about Star Trek that he won? (I mean, unlikely, but maybe)

[@thomasahearn4142]

@@paulhammond6978 Even if that were the case, why describe them as “a trans”? It came across as demeaning to me.

[@annaselbdritt7916]

@@paulhammond6978 impossible. No cis person can win a Star Trek debate against a trans person. They hyperlink up with Jessie Gender instantly.

[@annaselbdritt7916]

@@thomasahearn4142 also this.

[@frunobulaxthepoodle5334]

Brava. I won't presume to call myself an ally although I would like to think of myself as such. Keep fighting the good fight.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Being an ally is complex. There are so many different kinds of people suffering oppression and abuse. It takes a lot of soul searching, psyche work and listening to those who are suffering to even start. Though I am in some marginalized groups I still have privilege because I am white passing. It has been a rollercoaster for my family because some of us have a darker skin tone and Indigenous American features while other family members ( myself included) look more European. I am gender fluid, disabled, and nuero-divergent. I find lots of folks in the middle where they are oppressed in some ways and privileged in others. Awareness is a huge start. Listening to folks who are experiencing these issues is another huge start. You are hear and listening and commenting keep it up! We need to keep growing. Thank you for showing up.

[@dazerla]

In the more things change the more they stay the same this whole debate sourourding the game is really reminding me of all the arguments why people had to see Enders Game. It wasn't fair to the actors or the studio they weren't supporting anti gay marriage organizations. Or it was about childhood memories. Nevermind the money of supposed allies would go to a raging homophobe who who the fund anti gay and trans organizations. Here we are 10 years later and the same justifications for J. K. Rowling. Nothing has changed.

[@rhel373]

Oh shit, I just read up on Orson Scott Card. Last thing I heard was that he'd opposed gay marriage but after the court decision basically went "oh well, it is what it is." Which... you know, is a shitty position but I was under the impression that he was at least not actively doing harm anymore. Seems like he doubled down since then instead...

[@lonewolf6884]

Im really gald I donated $70 to my local LGBTQIA+ Community instead of getting Hogwarts Legacy.

[@FOJO27]

Wait, whoa - the game cost THAT MUCH?? 🤯 (Regardless, the fact you donated that generous amount is wonderful.)

[@santagonewrong]

I'm assuming that that was a typo and the fact that you dropped the T wasn't deliberate? If so, you might want to fix that one, given the context.

[@lonewolf6884]

@@santagonewrong Oh my woops thank you for pointing that out . Oh how embrassing, I really feel bad for leaving that out. Its fixed now

[@jasonmack2569]

Now that's how it's done. Well done you!

[@gamewrit0058]

💚🖤👍

[@DavidBeddard]

It's never a good idea to raise anyone on a pedestal. I've raised Rowling and Fry on pedestals before. People are messy, shitty, water bags. We all live on a slippery seesaw and people disagree on where we're supposed to live on it. That's a flawed metaphor, because it implies an ideal fulcrum point... 🤔 People can do helpful things, those same people can do harmful things. Holding famous people up to impeccable standards when they live in a very messy culture of fame that most of us cannot begin to comprehend is tricky. Is Stephen Fry really advocating that the likes of you and I should continue to stand beside Rowling? Or is he just doing what he does as best he can while responding to a direct question about a personal friendship that is frankly none of our business apart from the fact that they're both famous? I don't know. People in glass houses should not throw stones, and while Rowling is busy fortifying her glass castle and adding trebuchets, Fry is... desperately hoping no-one will find where his glass house is. On a separate note, I appreciate your perspective on allyship. I'm a white, British, hetero, university educated cis-male in full-time employment; I've got all the privilege out the wazzoo! And I want to help, and uphold, and make life better for people without privilege, and people who are actively harmed by the unjust society that benefits me. But I've never felt comfortable calling myself an ally to anyone. Because I know I'm complicit in the very society I despise. It's as much as I can do to try, little by little, day by day, to be better than I have been. To make a different choice today that will, hopefully, do less harm than the choice I made yesterday. I would love to have the honour bestowed upon me of being called an ally, but I can at least dispose of the guilt I've felt about not feeling able to call myself an ally. It was never something I should have called myself. I can work towards it.

[@samuelbarber6177]

I think in our online discourse and celebrity culture we often forget that people are complicated… and I mean very complicated. And our actions rarely make sense logically or even emotionally. We tend to filter the world through a black and white lens. There’s the good guys and the bad guys, just like in Harry Potter. Just like in primary school History. That’s nowhere near true.

[@natwilson9338]

the argument that one person buying the game is just a 'drop in the bucket' is so frustrating because while it's absolutely true, it shows such a lack of imagination for how we could actually create change in the world. just like one person protesting, or one worker striking, or one person going vegan, or one vote doesn't make a big impact, an organized and coordinated effort CAN actually have a huge impact. it just makes me sad that people are unwilling to look beyond themselves, especially for the low cost of not playing a video game. always happy to hear what you have to say, vera. i really admire how thoughtful and passionate you are. we're here, we're queer, and people need to get the fuck used to it.

[@rzeka8682]

Absolutely agree with your points. It's sad seeing people calling themselves allies and still actively supporting her. And to people defending buying the game simply becase they want to play it: you know that pirating is still a thing right? You could enjoy the product without financially supporting a transphobe if you actually wanted to.

[@lasseehrenreich5502]

You are a wonderful woman. As a non binary fan of him I'm deeply disappointed of him. Domenic Noble is an amazing ally who is willing to give up Harry Potter for our sake.

[@marocat4749]

Even btte he felt disgust and responsibility himself

[@elbruces]

I'm tired of hearing people referring to transphobia as a mere matter of "disagreement." The existence of some people is not something that reasonable poeple get to "disagree" over. I'm also tired of poeple saying "all Rowling is saying is" (then take a tiny noncontroversial bit of what she's saying out of context). No, that's not "all she's saying." That's not even the part that anybody has a problem with. It's the other stuff you're tap-dancing around.

[@allyson87]

I would say there are several nuances that make it different when most average people allies choose not to completely cutoff a personal relationship, most importantly the impact is very different. Only in very specific circumstances does cutting off a family member have the intended effect. Instead, as people become more isolated, they can tend to go further down the radicalization pipeline. I’d advocate that people create distance and set clear enforceable boundaries instead of cutting them out of your life completely…. but i know the fasc game and can beat them at debate theater (when I choose to engage, and I’m strategic in picking my battles), so most people I know like this irl have blocked me on social media and/or change their behavior in my presence. It’s kinda fun to watch them shut up as soon as they see me, like a misbehaving 6yo when the teacher looks in their direction😂

[@Stephen_The_Waxing_Lyricist]

Thank you for your well considered words. I have no personal experience of any LGBTQ+ matters, so your videos are very much appreciated by me (a cis middle aged male). I came for the Doctor Who videos, and stayed for the wider education. Stay fabulous, Vera!

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Thank you for listening and showing your support. We need more like you.

[@arubinojr5670]

"I am a T R A N S A L L Y , but you have to understand: I read a book once..." Just abhorrent and in such a basic way.

[@AndersWatches]

Someone who I considered a friend decided to rub it in my face that the trans community has so few allies and now we have one less because she’s going to stop being one. All because she wants this fucking game.

[@mismismism]

It's a tricky and frustrating subject. Because if JK was being blatantly racist, people would not be doing this downplaying and rightfully so. If a friend was being publicly racist, who would be like "I don't agree, but I'm still gonna be their friend", for most, that would change their view on that person but when it comes to LGBTQ, especially trans people, it's treated like the "nice crush" in a horror movie trope, we've all seen it, the girl/guy that the lead likes but all of her friends and significant other, are nasty, hateful bullies. In real life, no one would look at that person as good and nice even if they don't actively participate because who you choose to surround yourself with reflects back on you and your values. It's extremely telling when someone being bigoted to a certain group, does not put you off or change your opinion of them. That's what I'm gonna say, I do not think you can be an innocent bystander, your choice in friends says more about your values than saying you support a group. If someone said they believe in racial equality but then they're friends with a member of the KKK, that would call their real views into question.

[@fruitypebbles803]

I’m glad someone is talking about the image of Stephen Fry being a cuddly woke role model, when he’s not giving a fuck about a part of the lgbtq community that he claims to stand with, and be a part of.

[@spencerluther6485]

I will not buy the games. I will not buy/watch the movies. And I wonder if it’s easier for me because I’m gay, but ultimately I think HP just isn’t as important to me as to others. Then I think about ’what if this was more personal to me’? And I hate what has been done to my life: some of my deepest and most important memories and feelings have been tied to brands, and my happiness might have to come at the cost of my rights or life.

[@samuelbarber6177]

This is one case where I really wouldn’t want to be Stephen Fry in this moment. He (as well as pretty much any of JK Rowling’s friends) has been put in this quite precarious spot of whether to give up his friendship over ideological differences or knowingly associate with someone who is transphobic (Fry himself is something of an activist from what I’ve seen). And to make it all worse, they’re not just public figures, they are two of the most famous figures to come out of the UK.

[@andy_pandy88]

You fucking rock, and you give me hope that our community’s strength and conviction can prevail. Thank you!

[@luce669]

Harry Potter was one of my first fandom loves. I own all the books in original hardback covers. I played all the questionable-quality games in my childhood. The emotions that the words made me feel grew into my love for storytelling. I would not be the same person today if it weren't for Harry Potter. So when this all started my heart broke. It baffled me that someone who created something I loved so much could feel so much hate towards me without even knowing me. I tried so hard to disassociate the author from the work in my mind. But it just got worse and worse. And now I can't even think about Harry Potter without feeling an intense wave of anxiety. Actions have consequences. Even if you can't see them. The source of my passions has now become the source of my fears. As a brit I waited 5 years for my HRT. The 5 hardest years of my life. Now I'm scared it could be taken away without any notice. I respect anyone who wants to play Hogwarts Legacy. If things were different. I'm sure i'd be too. But no matter how much I wanna be a spellslinging trans witch in a world full of nostalgia and wonder for me. I can't. I don't hate you if you can. But understand that even if you are consuming the content as critically as you can, you are still supporting a public figure who would do more harm with your money and attention than you could do good to counterbalance. I hope you enjoy the game if you play it. But please. Don't try to sweep the issues under the rug.

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

Stephen Fry narrated the UK versions of the Harry Potter audiobooks. Jim Dale narrated the American versions of those audiobooks.

[@modmaker7617]

So Fry said Philosopher's Stone and Dale said Sorcerer's Stone. Lol

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

@@modmaker7617 Yeah pretty much.

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

@Mod Maker 🇵🇱 and wellingtons vs. rubber boots, pudding vs. dessert, etc.

[@DavidProv]

I thought something was off with that connection...

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

@@DavidProv I'm guessing you're American and you're more use to Jim Dale narrating the audiobooks.

[@citrinedragonfly]

This is why you are amazing, Vera. Unapologetic honesty. Thank you for posting this. I watched Jessie Gender's video last night, and yours compliments hers very well. There is a small part of me that hopes Mr. Fry is doing what he's doing in hopes of steering Ms. Rowling away from her hateful views and actions, but it is a very small part and dwindles each time Ms. Rowling decides to open her mouth or put fingers to the keyboard and work against people who've done no harm, and just wish to exist in peace. And the part of me that hopes for this rationale is the part that has watched my trans students struggle to reconcile their own love of Harry Potter with their revulsion and betrayal from its creator, and if Ms. Rowling could understand the real harm she's doing, she might take it back, and my students would have one less thing taken from them. There would still be all the other issues to contend with, but the most actively harmful one at the moment would be gone, and things could progress from there.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

Would that such a thing is possible. But at this point I can't imagine anything other than her somehow getting on the wrong side of her "gender-critical" besties and being forced out of those circles would cause her to reconsider her positions. And I can't imagine there's much she can do that would cause that. I don't begrudge you having hope. It's always healthy to have hope. Just don't let it blind you to how improbable the fulfillment of that hope may be.

[@citrinedragonfly]

@@CouncilofGeeks It's likely a futile hope, I know. She's given no indication of willingness to even entertain another viewpoint. But I want to believe human decency and kindness will prevail. Not that it will excuse her behavior and the behavior of those she's surrounded herself with, but if she's capable of learning and growing, I want that for her.

[@gamewrit0058]

Thoughts on the screenshot from the article, at 3:24. The paragraph above the one highlighted: "I'm aware you're talking about an issue where two sides are very sore and very anxious about their enemies. I can't bear it," Fry said. If he actually said this, spun the narrative that it's two equal parties at metaphorical war with each other, instead of a billionaire using her global socioeconomic power to genocide human beings, then I am definitely done with Fry. Three paragraphs later, he describes trans people and women as if they're two completely different categories of people, instead of acknowledging that some women are transgender, or that transgender communities include more than one gender: "I would wish them both to retreat and to consider that it is possible for trans people to live full, accepted lives, according to their terms, in society, and for women to have all the rights and dignities that they demand." "Both to retreat" - again, assumes parties with equitable power, both with legitimate goals that aren't mutually exclusive, who at war with each other. "to consider that it is possible for trans people to live full, accepted lives, according to their terms, in society" - suspiciously similar to language giving provisional and sub-par rights to black folks and disabled folks. Then there's the kicker, the bottom line: "and for women to have all the rights and dignities that they demand." - As if trans folks saying they have the right to live without harassment, to access healthcare, and to use toilets is them calling for cis women to be denied the vote and sent back to the kitchen with no bank account. What about all the rights and dignities that trans women demand, that trans men demand, that trans non-binary folks demand? Nope, trans people can live in society - "according to their terms," is, again war/legal/negotiation/compromise language - but "women" can "have all the rights and dignities that they demand." Do those dignities include bathroom bills and forcing underage children to have their personal bits viewed by strangers when jerk parents are salty that their kid got second place in track and field, Mr. Fry? How magnanimous of you, "to consider that it is possible" to allow trans folks to exist in society, as long as "women" can retain the "dignities that they demand."

[@dickottel]

👏👏👏 What women like jkr have is a phobia and they should get therapy, what trans women have is valid fear. Of course cis women face misogyny from disgusting men and that's a valid fear, but trans women have nothing to do with that. Also sexual assault happens, and people of any gender and orientation do it. I understand that fear, sadly society and law don't take rape very seriously. But should we ban cisgender lesbians from women's toilets or gay men from men's toilets? Is Rowling trying to do that to protect women? No, because she has transphobia, an irrational fear or hate for trans people. Not all trans women are even lesbians, and even the lesbians, most of them aren't potential rapists. She should be fighting for longer sentences for sex crimes and should be encouraging society to kind of cancel people who say things like rape jokes. Imagine if everytime someone says a disgusting rapey joke, everyone around them acted shocked and later treated that person much less friendly to let them know how much not ok it is to even talk about rape in this way. But her solution is to be transphobic because in her imagination she associates trans women with those crimes for no reason.

[@alexjohnson2527]

For me, the worst part (at least, when it comes to public figures I liked growing up) about JK wasn't actually her. It was everyone else around her, or even people who weren't related to her beforehand. She was just the magnifying glass to show how important, non-important, or against trans issues other famous people were. And a lot of those other famous people really hurt, I'm not going to lie. Stephen Fry is just the latest of people I've found out about, and the one that I thought before now was the most supportive of trans people. I do get not wanting to get in between friends when they fight. I've had plenty of friends that end up for one reason or another on the outs over the years. Most of the time, I stay out of it an maintain friendships with both parties. But that's for petty reasons, or personality conflicts, or anything 'minor' in the grand scheme of both things and who those people are as people. If I found out a friend was racist, or sexist, or xenophobic, or homophobic, or transphobic, or etc...that's when that friend is no longer my friend. It's one thing to try and change someone's mind, it's another to continue to enable and passively support them through your continued friendship. I don't know if Stephen Fry is trying to change her mind or not. At the end of the day, his reasons don't matter. What matters, like you said, is the public perception. And that public perception only helps in hurting the trans community. Thanks for the video. I know subjects like these can be very hard to cover. But they do help a lot, especially for those of us struggling with putting words to why this feels so bad who don't want to dive too deep into the cesspool that JK has turned into.

[@sarahthesarah2850]

Hello there Vera, Thank you so much for taking the time to make this. I truly appreciate how vulnerable and honest you are. This is painful and exhausting stuff to talk about. It is way more so in a public space where you can get exposed to do so much hate. Thank you so much for being you. Thank you for your time and efforts and struggles. I hope that you are surrounded by love, support and folks who value you for the wonderful woman you are. The work you do is vital. To this Community, I hope y'all are as well as can be. Scrolling through the comments, I have found lots of inspiration and validation. This is amazing because 20 years ago I did not have access to anything like this. I feel like as we are able to see that other folks like us exist, we can be more assured that it is valid that we are here. I am so happy that many are standing in the face of adversity, misinformation, and oppression. Each of us humans deserves the same rights and access. Being an ally is hard work. It requires a level of self analysis and discomfort that folks who are not effected don't see the benefit in. Thankfully there are people who believe in equal rights and access and are willing to speak up. Even more importantly there are people willing to listen. There are people willing to use their privilege and platform to bring attention to the issues those oppressed face. Such allies can actually be missed because they are giving the attention and platform to those most in need. Those folks are precious. We are all hurting. Even those with privilege and power. It can be very difficult to be compassionate while suffering. I see so much fear in the world right now. So many people are facing threats to their security and safely. What's strange about it is some of those threats are manufactured by those who fear the loss of security that comes with change. There are people who's world view is challenged by my existence. I wish I knew how to reach those folks. We are all human.

[@tyrion8304]

The discussion of Harry Potter has always been a hard one for me because I never got into it as a kid, so I was always the outsider. Looking on it now just makes me glad I bet on the right horse when it comes to my first fandom love, but it makes me mad how JK's just shat all over so many people who loved what she made. I'm a trans person myself and I've also drawn a hard line against JK and those who support her, and it means standing against people I even know. Your video was wonderful and thank you for standing with us!

[@mklee9612]

The right wing tends to make good on their policies so in my head yes a slippery slope

[@unseenmolee]

omg yess, im so done debating my existence. its so tiring always questioning myself "am i one of the good ones" like its just so toxic to think theres any middle ground with conservatives, they will consume everything and make it fit their needs/wants. ive been surrounding myself with more likeminded ppl and its been v nice to not constantly defend myself

[@bekenotsalony2905]

This reminds me when I used to organize a group meeting where we'd get people from every faith we cound find believers from, and we'd talk about what we believed and what was the same and what was the difference. But there were rules. No hating on any group or you get read for filth and then you weren't welcomed back. The point was to have open discussions and learn but not to perpetuate hate. Your content reminds me of that. Open to listening and learning and helping others learn. But when someone crosses the line you'll shred them. -smiles- I like that aspect. in that way I can understand to an extent keeping his friendship with her, but there comes a point when someone says or does something that crosses a line that there's no way to balance that ledger. There are a great many friends I closed off from my life when they showed they couldn't understand that their actions and choices were injuring others worse than words can cover. When Rowling started this, the initial statements felt weird and there were things she could have said that would have painted it in a passible light, but she's long since proven that she feels that other people living and being and having no impact on her life deminishes her being and having what she wants out of life, and the second she did that she lost any right to play the victim or call foul for people being hurt and injured by her actions. And even if she learned and changed now... I don't know if she could ever fix what she's broken. I still have the book my first boyfriend, a trans boy I met through our love of Harry Potter, bought me. I actually met a lof the the trans folk I've been friends with or dated through the fandom. But supporting Rowling just feels wrong on a level that makes me feel like I'm stabbing those people in the back and I just... I can't understand where her hate comes from and I can't wrap my head around hating someone because of something they have no control over, and I can't support Rowling while she tries so hard to be as big a bigot as the villains she created. But I agree, allyship is something the community will decide if you have achieved. The best any of us can be is supportive where and when we can. And try to make the world a smidge better than we found it when we came into it. To hurt others less, to lift others up, and to help where we can.

[@Brunoxsa]

Thank you for the video and for being here, Vera! And I am sorry for you having to deal with all this transphobic bullsh*t! The situation with Stephen Fry really breaks my heart. To me, he was such a queer stan. The problem with Stephen Fry and anybody else choosing to stand beside Joanne Rowling, including giving indirect financial support to her, is that they are trying to "have their cake and eat it too". Considering how most of them seem unaffected by Joanne's hate discourse and politics, these same people are okay with paying lip service to trans people, but not to do the hard work and be true allies. And the aspect of some cis queer and/or people of color ignoring or not willing to support trans people is not only tragic, it is also straight stupidity. Trans people are the current target of rich bigots and conservative politicians, and If they are able to be successful in their plan about criminalize and extinguish trans people, the cis queer and people of color will be next scapegoats in their agenda of hate and bigotry.

[@meganstorm3248]

On the hypocrisy point: DISCLAIMER; I'm a pagan theologian by way of perennial philosophy, with a focus in moral philosophy, specifically the essential nature /of/ morality in nondualist systems - iow, if there's no objective, absolute, black-white moral reality, how can we be moral? So yeah, I actually have some expertise to bring to bear. And OMG, I am so sick of people using 'hypocrisy' wrong, but it's never been so viscerally upsetting. You're not a hypocrite, Vera. Being subject to human limitations isn't hypocrisy! You're not a hypocrite for existing in the reality instead of the ideal. Hypocrisy is personal behavior /*opposed* by *publicly espoused ideals/. That's why it bothers you so much more, sweetie! That's why it bothers everyone so much more. It IS a betrayal. It's not just reality failing to live up to ideal - of course that's inescapable. But it's Amoral - completely neutral. Not in sentiment, but if you think of it as a graph, 0 is the center, not the lower limit. We try to be in the upper right but [insert The Good Place here]. But what the show literally personified in the characters instead of explaining in the script was the /nature/ of morality itself - not a simple, unilateral spectrum of good-bad, but the infinitely complex dynamic between good & bad actions (Eleanor), ideals (Chidi), intentions (Jason), and resuls (Tahani).*. Your example with sweatshop labor is the perfect counterpoint. Of course you support improved conditions, that's an important ideal. One that reality won't let anyone live up to. But that failure is imposed upon you by an immoral system - the culpability isn't yours, the failure is amoral. Stephen Fry isn't just an advocate, he's a gay advocate in a world where a lot of people aren't at all clear on whether there's a difference. He trades on his status as part of the queer community to lend authority to his advocacy - and he's more than old enough to fucking remember when he was the friend who wasn't worth the discomfort of defending. That's not imposed on him by an irresistible external force, and it's not a mere failure. It's immoral. It feels like a betrayal because it is the pure, self serving cowardice of someone who knows better throwing you under the bus. But it's the fact that he keeps calling himself an ally that makes it hypocrisy. Rowling herself may be many many things - but she's not a hypocrite. At least, not towards us. She was never really an ally, even if we were in denial - but she does call herself a feminist. And wages a hate campaign that she knows perfectly well is hurting countless cis women & girls deemed insufficiently feminine because it hurts the people that actually matter. And for an iconic & beloved elder statesman of Teh Gayz, who everybody know remembers when it was him, to tell the world that it's not worth some personal discomfort to protect them from the new Pat Robertson? That is one HELL of a betrayal. Don't say you're a hypocrite just because you're subject to reality. And don't you fucking DARE think you're in the same category as THAT. I got all the way to there without even mustering up disappointment, but that shit made me rage cry. It's not just a matter of scale. It's a matter of character. *In the interests of full disclosure, that narrative analysis isn't mine. I actually got it from an analysis channel here, which I will be happy to credit once I look it up again, but I did revise it a bit to be more in line with the jargon than the original

[@Alys51]

Thank you so much Vera for this video. It has given me much to think about.

[@jintym2951]

Thank you for remaining in this space. Truly. From the bottom of my heart, thank you 💜

[@gamewrit0058]

💜

[@user-xr9kj6by3u]

ugh i didn't know about this and i'm so disappointed. i'm sorry to react when i'm barely 5 minutes in, but it's so frustrating that he's framing this "issue" as both sides fighting and somehow both sides need to back down when like, one side is telling the other side they shouldn't exist and have any rights?? like, what exactly are trans people supposed to back away from, their basic human rights?? When one side is advocating for diminished rights for the other side, be it transphobia, homophobia, racism, all of the above (which is overwhelmingly the case), I will never accept any excuse to not stand up to it even if you love that person with all your heart. Maybe even more so if that's the case, because then you can come at it from an angle of actual love and care which is more likely to reach them than anger and frustration which the rest of us feel.

[@Darinadon]

He has narrated all the seven books, and actually I have never read any actual HP book, I just listened to them on audio. And narration is done wonderfully. And this breaks my heart a bit more, because for me personally he's very connected to the books, I would listen to his HP narration if I had trouble sleeping or with anxiety. So would my best friend. That was my 'comfort food.' And I have not been able to listen HP for quite some time anyway, because what she's doing is always on the back of my mind plus at this point I recognize multiple issues with the story. But it's sad.

[@nekusakura6748]

I think he also did narration for some of the Harry Potter Games as well.

[@Darinadon]

@@nekusakura6748 Possibly, I wouldn't know, because I don't play games at all. But it would make sense, because his narration was an official UK one. In the US the narration was done by a different person.

[@nekusakura6748]

@Darinadon Fry's Narration was exclusive to the UK versions

[@hiddenechoes]

Same here, it was my insomnia antidote. I just really can't now. Now I've been listening to Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan instead because that's the set of his books with the best narrator.

[@FabbrizioPlays]

As an american it's weird to hear Stephen Fry even vaguely associated with Harry Potter. For me, Jim Dale has always been the voice of the books, and because he's British, I didn't even think twice about who voiced the British audiobook.

[@aran9952]

This should be interesting, looking forward to see what you have to say on this.

[@SplotPublishing]

I identify myself as a trans ally, not because I think I'm the final authority or anything, but because I want trans people to know they can call on me if they need to. And also, it doesn't hurt to let the big mouthed bigots know that there are more of us than they presume.

[@oftinuvielskin9020]

What gets me is that these people feel the need to tweet about it. Like, okay - you can't help yourself and know you're going to buy the game, but why publicly tweet about it? They must know that is only going to feed into the hype around the game, and feed into the anti-trans narrative Rowling is pushing. Even if they decided to get the game, they could have chosen to keep quiet about it, not give the game or Rowling more attention, just enjoy it privately or between close friends. It seems like they valued their desire to "come clean" over the damage their loud proclamation of "it's totally okay to get the game, you guys. It doesn't make you less of an ally to trans people - I decided" would do. Personally, I have no desire to buy any of Rowling's shit, but I don't ever see myself totally disengaging from the Harry Potter fanfiction. Wolfstar is one of the ships I come back to again and again. I know people have differing opinions on whether fan content feeds into the franchise as a whole. I think fanfic can often work to reify the canon sometimes, but often does not really. Thinking of the marauders era, it seems people often prefer fanfic because it is queerer, because it stands in direct contrast to jkr's position.

[@locustboy8448]

Wow. “I don’t want to talk about it all the time, but you won’t let us forget” I could be misquoting here but that hit me like a bag of bricks as someone who used to make that claim about certain out of the closet people. Thank you for spreading the message. Maybe one day I’ll have the strength to stand up for something when it’s not “””my problem””” You are are inspirational person and this is one of the most powerful videos I’ve seen from you yet. Im getting better but I’ve got so far to go, and a lot of bad beliefs from my environment, my ego and my lack of listening in years past that need calling out and actual mental effort to change. As for the game, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I will maybe I won’t. To be honest in my current living situation someone else may buy the game where I’m living so I could gain access without personally paying for the product. As for the entire Harry Potter world being ruined for me? I’m not there yet, I’ve also kind of been ignoring the topic a little bit if I’m honest at least mentally (I have watched a few videos on the problematic situations before this) It’s so easy to be selfish and look out for yourself and keep marginalized people’s voices in a box labeled “I feel for you so long as it doesn’t bring discomfort to my life” I’ve lived that. I hope by the time I’m 30 I’ll be living that far less than I am now. Thank God I found your channel looking for Doctor Who reviews when I was still in the Alt Right KZbin Pipeline as an even younger guy than I am now. An angry nerdy guy who didn’t like the New Who, I didn’t think it was sexism or anything I just had problems with the writing, acting and well….a lot of it. I found it incredibly refreshing even at my darkest down that pipeline that you could criticize without being mean, have a balanced view on the content. Bring up both positives and negatives. So yeah thank you for being a voice I still found at minimum valuable and interesting even when I was at my darkest in that line of thinking. And now that I’m out, I’m finding a very great deal of wisdom and truth in your voice and platform here. -Some random Mid 20’s nerdy guy who hopes to keep being better. Apologies if this is not eloquently put, I’m both sleepy at 1:41 am local time and sometimes bad at putting thought to word.

[@didikohen455]

Thank you, someone I know asked if buying HP stuff makes him a transphobe, and I was wondering how to answer, this video helped me a lot with forming an answer. I'm also trans and used to be a HP fan.

[@rainyrouge5123]

Tell your friend to buy fan made merch on Etsy

[@TheDawnofVanlife]

@@rainyrouge5123 The thing is I think it’s bigger then that. Everything having to do with HP, the fact so many people are determined to hold on it by any means necessary is the ACTUAL fuel to JKR’s ego. Not so much the direct royalty checks. The money you do or don’t spend on Hogwart’s Legacy or anything HP will have little impact on the Millionaire financially, the fact people love HP so much they still want to live in that world and experience more HP things has a TON of impact. The fact that people still have to somehow come to her to continue to feed the world starving for HP in some way will feed her ego and sense of being right. Including any HP merchandise you got on etsy. JKR will be a Millionaire until she dies even if the whole active HP franchise goes under. But everything she sees that still supports her core story confirms how much people still ‘support’ her (and by extension, her views) to her even if she has nothing to do with it and doesn’t earn a penny from it.

[@jmnf89]

Thank you for all of this ❤❤❤

[@angelalovell5669]

Upon reading some of those comments sections, I want to make it absolutely clear - I support you and your voice to the absolute fullest, and agree most particularly about the potential solve for those of us who have troubled inner children with hearts set on this bit of media. I will not be paying for this game, in any case. Thank you, as a fellow human being, for engaging with the level of selfishness and ignorance that's being flung at you. This is good work, holding people to their morals under the endgame of capitalism. You're a total champion.

[@admanios]

I love the way you put it; that standing with us means *taking a stand.*

[@baconmantube]

spot on. Stay Stubborn. What is there to concede that we haven't already? Plant your feet. I'm with you.

[@Alex_Cohl]

Thank you M'am! It felt so good listenning to you. Many hugs from Belgium!

[@ArielVHarloff]

Your mood especially towards the end of this expressed my feeling towards all of this really well. Thanks for expressing my feelings so eloquently

[@Frooxius]

Thank you for this video (and the others you've done to cover this topic), you make quite good points on things. I was originally excited for this game, but learning of the negative impact JK Rowling has been making has made me uncomfortable with the idea of getting it. There's a lot of other games I wanted to play as well anyways and perhaps I'll come across an used copy sometime in the future. ---------- The argument about "She already has enough money, what difference is a little extra from me going to make" actually reminds me a bit of the mentality people have with voting too. The "I'm not gonna vote, it's not like 1 vote is going to make a difference anyways" kind of thing. People need to realize that it's not just about their singular vote (or monetary contribution) - it's the mentality and it adds up over large amounts of people to something much more significant, because everyone thinks the same thing, individually, not thinking about vast amounts of people doing exactly the same thing. If you change your mentality and encourage others to do so too, that can enact change. You stop "amplifying" that mentality and instead amplify the other. ---------- There's one more thing though, that this video made me think of on the topic of retaining friendships with people you disagree with. I wonder if generally, it's beneficial if people will do that, rather than cut contact with them. I worry that by doing that, those people end up being polarized more in their views because the "environment" around them changes. However, if you keep in touch with them, but you make it clear to them that you don't agree with them and that you don't like this behavior of theirs, but you still keep the friendship open, perhaps that could be enough to make them change their mind, by providing them space to do so. Perhaps not in this particular case (Fry and JK Rowling), perhaps not at all, but it does bug me a bit how people tend to grow more and more polarized over time and I wonder if there's some good way to break the cycle. Anyways, that turned out to be a bit of a ramble, thanks for the video, I always enjoy your content, it's quite thought-provoking and eloquent. I usually don't comment, but I wanted to share this.

[@seto749]

Another thing to consider is how demanding one can be of people who retain friendships with those prejudiced against their own groups. I wonder whether there are more gay people who maintain friendships with homophobes than trans people with transphobes; that could contribute heavily to differing views.

[@acciotardisalohomora6302]

As much as I would love to play the new game I won't unless the public library gets a copy. I'm not giving her money anymore. Plus can't people get a copy from thrift stores so JK doesn't sell extra copies? EDIT: Thanks for making this video.

[@rachelbecknell4259]

Tangent here, but I watched this video at least partly because of the wonderful name, Council of Geeks. You are creative, clever, kind, and funny. I'd love to be an honorary member of your Council when/if you expand. :) -- Aging Nerd

[@JennaGetsCreative]

Every time this whole topic of how continuing to buy into HP validates JK comes up I wish I knew what book concept would take off like HP did so I could write a new fantasy series that would do what HP did for us but remain a positive and affirming place for everyone.

[@ravenwaves6785]

Happy to find this channel! Very well put.

[@pandorainthebox69]

Thank you, I love you, and you're right. There's no appeasement with people who seek to exterminate a whole group of people. Never concede any ground to people who say "nice things" to you because they want to feel good about themselves. I can't imagine how taxing this must be for you. So, I hope you take some time to take care of yourself. I just want to tell you that your presence here is valuable

[@marshy9880]

Kind of a bit rubbish to see people twisting themselves into pretzels so they can justify buying a game. Oh well...

[@yerocyt]

Forgive my ignorance, but what anti-trans organizations has JK funded (monetarily)? Done a bit of searching but could only really see her contributions to Allison Bailey and the single sex domestic violence clinic. I'm sure there's more if someone could let me know?

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

There's Wild Womyn Workshop, although it's more a radical feminist organisation than an explicitly anti-trans one. Note the spelling of woman.

[@blaireofhylia1572]

All this hogwarts legacy discourse has turned a LOT of people against us. I can't help but feel we would've been better off letting people enjoy their game rather than turning the success of hogwarts into the failure of the trans community. I feel we've lost a ton of support over this damn game discourse

[@LeontheSmithy]

TBF, if they turned against the Trans community because of this controversy than I doubt they would've been strong "ally's" to begin with. With that said, I am of the opinion that not all battles need to be fought. If we knew this game was going to sell well, regardless of politics, using this metric of "buy this game and you're not an ally" is just setting yourself up for failure. This is why a person who is a Trans ally can still be an ally and buy this game. I rather we use a metric like "voting to restrict trans right" to be much better because there's only a black and white stance to it, no grey.

[@quinblake30]

As soon as I saw your video of how Rolling was getting worse with this, I have put off the game, and ever since, I've been convincing my friends also not to get it by using your vids on the matter to help. I am unfortunately not Trans but I am part of the LGBTQA+ community (Gay guy, FYI), and I enjoy your views and how you'll say anything on your mind to help your side of the community and defend it. Please keep this up for as long as you are able; your voice is needed, and I am happy to say that I am an Ally to anyone, no matter how they may identify. I hope you're ok after this video, though; cos constantly finding and fighting her BS must be exhausting and frustrating. 🤗

[@SpencerDragonMonster]

Love you, Vera. Keep up the good work.

[@mikaylaeager7942]

I don’t know how I feel about this argument. I’m no longer comfortable engaging with Harry Potter in any way, but I’ve also never marched or campaigned for trans rights. I’ve never done a fundraiser or donated a significant amount of money. Does that mean I’m not a trans ally because I could be doing more? It’s not my place to say, but rejecting allies on this basis will leave you with scarce few allies at a time when you could use as many as possible. Or does that mean I get to be an ally, but someone who did all these things and also bought Hogwarts Legacy doesn’t? I feel like when we tell someone “you don’t really care unless you do XYZ” we run the risk of them thinking “well I guess I don’t care” and abandoning the cause completely. No one is the perfect ally and incrementalism is infuriating but it’s better than all or nothing. That’s just my personal perspective.

[@CouncilofGeeks]

The questions you’re asking don’t have simple answers, but here’s a general notion to keep in mind: allyship is not the absence of harm, it is active support usually involving some degree of personal sacrifice (if only of time). In regards to someone who buys this game but otherwise is an active ally, while I won’t reject the assistance I do feel it’s fair to point out the harm caused by their actions. It’s like when you have a friend and they’re treating somebody (maybe say a server at a restaurant) like crap. And you go “hey, you’re kind of being a jerk right now.” And they get defensive going “you’re saying I’m a jerk!?!?” And you have to point out that you didn’t say that but they’re behaving in that manner and that doesn’t make them a jerk at all times but they are doing jerk stuff right now.

[@mikaylaeager7942]

@@CouncilofGeeks 🤔…. It feels like we need to redefine Ally to describe an action rather than a person, similar to what we’ve done with racist. You can do something that is an act of Allyship like recognizing pronouns or standing up against hateful actions (i.e. not buying Hogwarts Legacy) but Ally is not an identity you can claim.

[@AysKuz]

I love you Vera, you are a good one!

[@LoreofMars]

I'm honestly in tears. This was a very well-constructed video, with very concise and thought-out arguments.

[@MrFearDubh]

Vera, I recently watched Jessie Gender's final vid on JKR and it included a still of her being interviewed by someone I was certain was Stephen Fry. I was horrified! I look up to him. I admire him. At least I did. So when I saw you had recorded a vid on this very topic I had to watch it. Thank you for doing this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

[@natbarmore]

Thanks for making this. Acknowledging our own (sometimes) complicity is really hard, and your point about sweatshops really hit home. There’s a difference between participating in capitalism and recognizing that you could do better, and participating in capitalism and claiming that you _are_ doing better.

[@paulhammond6978]

I think part of the problem with this is that Stephen Fry is making public statements about whether he's staying in touch with Rowling or not. He doesn't have to say what he's decided to do in his private friendship, could just tell journalists "I'm not willing to discuss JK Rowling and her comments on trans people with you." I mean, I didn't know they were actually friends before this - I knew that Fry was famous for doing the audio readings of the Harry Potter books, but I didn't know he knew Rowling beyond whatever professional contact was involved in that.

[@MarkvanBeelen]

Thank you for your valuable lessons. I learned a lot from this, as I do with almost every video from you on the topic. You are an inspiration! Thank you for your guidance.

[@eterista3868]

Harry Potter franchise is so weird for me, for my identity and for my childhood and now. On one hand it was a big part of my childhood, gave me (albeit unhealthy) mechanisms to cope with abuse I was going through (thinking that I'm special person locked in basement and everything will magically change one day -well, not - and I will be powerful to stand against perpetrators) and in adulthood that ideology became more and more problematic, because I was passive and just waiting for some miracle to save me, even though it helped me not to do something stupid to myself when I was younger teenager... But okay, that's power fantasy, we watch superhero movies for these feelings and have the whole protagonist going through obstacles (even HP went through them....) to show us we can do too. And I ditched that problematic idea and I'm slowly finding healthier ways. But on the other hand, when I grew I realised that even ideologically, in political sense, HP is quiet weirdly about... nothing? Or it is the most centrist neoliberal empty narrative that's main theme is even something that in my country (in central europe) is not even thing - aristocracy, old lineage families, divide between middle class and people close to monarchy etc. The message from rowling is so bizarre: yes, aristocracy in UK is better then basic working class, but we should accept working class as someone harmless, sometimes weird, but nonetheless we can even have relationships with them and certainly we should not commit genocide on them, that's bad. And now as an adult, these two weird sides are part of my childhood, of something that was important to me and made my memories and interest in literature and still mean something to me. But it's so empty and I'm still not decided what I will do with this empty power fantasy escapist series and what does it mean to me.

[@aarondubourg3706]

"What I have come to find to be the greatest and most effective and successful weapon that we can use, known to man, to combat such adversaries as ignorance, racism, hatred, violence, is also the least expensive weapon, and the one that is the least used by Americans. That weapon is called communication." ~Daryl Davis I could understand Stephen Fry staying close with JK Rowling if he was trying to change her thoughts. I try not to make hasty judgments cus a marginalized person or ally is friendly with a bigot, but I'm not actually sure that's what's going on here. I feel like at some point you just gotta cut your losses and move on if that's what was happening. I don't have any reason to believe he has any activist intentions with maintaining his relationship with Rowling.

[@AspelShuyin]

I was never a big fan of Stephen Fry to begin with, but a few years back I think he said some shit that rubbed me the wrong way about the woke mob canceling people or something. Young people getting offended at everything or something.

[@FrankieKeepsGoing]

To add to the positive comments: thank you so much for everything you do. I don't comment often but I agree with you & thank you for sharing ❤️

[@Rayne1947]

I think you're amazing, I was gonna rewatch some of your doctor who. But this was emotionally draining. I kind of need a shoulder to cry on. Lucky my friend is coming round. Not your fault. You're beautiful, you're valid and have an amazing day.