HOMEMAKING A CHRISTIAN HOME | LET'S TALK ABOUT ENVY!

[@juliegerasimenko200]

What you said about dealing with envious/toxic people was GOLD. I listened to it twice in a row because it was so what I needed.!! “You can forgive and not be around that person” YES 👏 I’ve dealt with a couple jealous people and have felt guilty for “cutting them out” but they keep weighing me down and NEVER change no matter how much I try to love them. I have four kids and a husband that need the energy the toxic person syphoned from our family. Thank you for your words, I LOVE what you have to say! Also that pasta looks DIVINE 😍

[@minihomesteadcooking]

Great devotion. I have no time for drama. I guard my heart and my family time. I really am picky with who we get close to.

[@Melissa.Bordelon84]

I have a toxic envious family member and it is so so hard to let this person go. I only see them on holidays and every so often. When I just became Christian I tried saving them but I was driving myself crazy. I had to let go and I sometimes still struggle ❤. But I see the light.

[@snowymountainmama]

This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your experience, wisdom and thoughts on envy…it was incredibly helpful❤

[@mountainmamashome]

You are so welcome!

[@deborahwilson5149]

One of those expandable clothes drying racks also makes and amazing pasta drying station! 😉💕

[@mountainmamashome]

That is legit brilliant! I love that idea, thank you!!

[@heidi6544]

I think that’s one of my favorite things about home making and homeschool…we can focus more in our homes and family and limit time spent outside of home with others lol 😂

[@mountainmamashome]

Well said!

[@roksannastephens4375]

You have described a narcissist. Your video is timely because I just researched narcissists and am deciding to bow out of two friends I have because I, too, have been perplexed, saddened, and abused from them. Thank you so much for this video, all of it. I'm glad God gave you the courage and proper time to present this issue.

[@IdaMaySmith]

I envy your kitchen!😂 Kidding..Your kitchen is so dreamy..It truly is my favorite kitchen, Ever! You so inspire me and you’re so right about envious “friends” I’ve been down that road too many times.. I so enjoy my own company and at 52 I’m my own best friend. Thanks for another wonderful video❤ You inspire me..😊

[@mountainmamashome]

Awe! The beginning made me giggle, your sense of humor is great! Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.

[@amymarie8999]

I am a new subscriber. Your videos are so very soothing your voice and the beautiful aesthetics of your home. I just love it. Long time homeschooler here also at homesteader wanna be.

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you so much!

[@lynndanter9537]

I have had a few friends who have fallen into envy at times during our friendship. Sometimes I have gently confronted the subtle comments that were hurtful. Those friends have all confessed envy at some point. When they do so...I tell them everything I admire about them.They have become dear friends. I also agree that some friends are more hardened and you can thin out the relationship or keep it more impersonal if a work relationship for example. Just like the 2 criminals crucified beside Jesus...some will respond to Christ like love and some will not. When I privately was honest with them how they made me feel most began to cry and express that they struggled in their mind with their own significance. Hope that helps....but I also validate that some hearts are not teachable. Thx for sharing wisely on a common struggle with women ❤

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you for sharing this, Lynn. I truly appreciate it. I do agree that if the person envying is a Christian they should be approached first in Matthew 18 manner. I should do a follow up video expressing this.

[@tammyracine3184]

Seeds don't grow on stone, but moss does and seeds can take in moss. It's up to the individual to want to change for the better. God gives us all that ability, it's whether or not we take him up on this opportunity.

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you for sharing!

[@denapersonius3117]

When God is blessing you abundantly and you’re praising His powerful hand in your life it is so so hard to see people close to you go silent and dismissive. Unlike the time they were there during your lows and troubles. It’s so black and white for me know. People who know God’s goodness are overjoyed with your blessings and are lifted up to see His good works. At one point, I thought I should stop talking to a close friend about what God was doing. The enemy made me believe it was bragging. But quite the opposite is true! I stand firm in praising our Lord and his good work! I will not stop giving Him the glory!

[@mountainmamashome]

Well said!

[@Amid.the.flowers]

Yes! Very well put. This helps me see my situation more clearly, thank you ❤

[@simplelife4053]

This was thought-provoking. Very good! Envy sounds like narcissism.

[@roksannastephens4375]

Exactly

[@mountainmamashome]

I hear you. I think it is a mild form if it. Good point.

[@elle_nolt]

You are such a wise woman! A year ago we made a move out of state and it has been a huge blessing. We felt like we could never get ahead. I felt like people were always be a little and never seemed to care. I felt that they didn’t have our best interest, but I wanted to say that they’re not really that way. When things got really tough and changed that’s when I couldn’t ignore reality. This is very encouraging as I was tempted to pursue family again. It’s a reminder to me that nothing I say or try to sympathize they won’t except they need Jesus and I need to step out of the way to let them lean on Him.

[@kimstormer4536]

Isn't it amazing we attract the same "types" of people in our lives until we become cognizant of what is going on and the lesson we need to learn. I often attract extroverts and I am mostly an introvert. It tired me until I realized the dynamic.

[@mountainmamashome]

Yes!!! We gravitate towards people with character traits we are familiar with too and unfortunately this can include abusive people if that's what we became familiar with early on. This comment is helpful, thank you for sharing it!!!

[@kttunsntell6626]

This is so spot on. As a recovering people pleaser I have exited someone from my life this year who was exactly like this. Always making fun of me and I always tried to show kindness and forgiveness. So glad to not be dealing with this toxic individual anymore

[@hs1athome]

I had a envious friend try to ruin my other friendships and my ministry. The worst part other than not seeing it coming was me actually believing she was a good friend.

[@mountainmamashome]

That is so sad!

[@pattyhansen7563]

Almost worse than an envious friend is an envious 'stranger' who literally knows nothing about you. Myself & another lady from church are trying to start a women's fellowship group. there is a gaggle of older women who do.not.want.it.to.happen....period. They have tried quite a few tactics, out of jealousy, to get it to cease, before it has even begun! They have called my home to dissuade me. They have tried to get the church office involved to put a stop to it. They showed up en masse to the first mtg and tried to commandeer the whole thing. They are envious that another group, that has kind of lost its purpose, they belonged to is having trouble gaining attendance. So their thought was to funnel all the women from our new group into their group. But we don't want to do what they used to do. It is hard to keep going in the face of this kind of jealousy & intentional gate keeping. BUT...I DID see it coming, because I have tried to organize things with in the church before - so I was prepared & just killed them with kindness. My poor friend tho...🤣She is jus the sweetest thing ever & just doesn't get it....she can't understand why???? why???LOL. I said, "they are just jealous" - THEY are in the wrong, not us. LOL

[@maryelizabethella]

Thank you for this discussion on dealing with envious people. You are absolutely right. God bless you and your family. 🙏

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you, Mary!

[@angelicas.6391]

That’s pretty awesome how you’re making and teaching your children how to make pasta from scratch. Thank you for sharing this message and scriptures.

[@mountainmamashome]

You are so welcome!

[@thrivewithjesus5216]

You can't plant seeds on stone, so profound ❤ let God work that soil first, if He wants to use you to share the gospel with then He will, but in the meantime mark and avoid.

[@tinagrady7209]

I was picked on from elementary school to high school because I have big beautiful sky blue eyes usually I only had one to two friends at the most I grew up hating my eyes but they're the thing that makes my husband so happy. 😊

[@allheartandsong]

Thank you so much for sharing your views on this issue. I have similar experiences for sure.

[@mountainmamashome]

Glad it was helpful!

[@plantedinthemidwestb4545]

I love your devotional and scripture talks! Your wisdom on envy was very helpful. God bless you sister. ❤

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you so much!

[@emmaaldridge4009]

So true I really relate to this video and it’s come exactly at the right time when I needed to hear it , it never ceases to amaze how God works within us and around us 🌻🌻🌻

[@mountainmamashome]

Yes, He is present and good!

[@ahomemadetreasure]

Great Video!!!

[@Iluvyardsale]

Thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to hear this!

[@mountainmamashome]

You are so welcome!

[@keybrown4580]

Great message and video!!! 💜 So glad that ive found your channel. God bless you!! Question, where is your yellow dress from? 😍

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you 😊! The dress is from Walmart 😀

[@saramoulson7808]

Thanks for sharing this. I've only had one experience of being envious when I was a little girl and I wanted so much to be like another friend. I won't go into detail, but I know envy can be so nasty. I do have to catch myself at times now and ask the Lord to not allow me to become envious of anyone I may be following online or whatever. I know it can be easy to fall into that trap with our world of social media and being able to peek into everyone's personal lives so readily. I want to be content with who He made me to be and just learn from others and, like you said, admire them.😊

[@mountainmamashome]

I hear you, Sara!

[@agodlyhome]

I have no idea if I have ADHD, but I was getting overwhelmed with my rhubarb this year. I just washed it sliced it up put it on a cookie sheet in the freezer to flash freeze it. Then stuck it in a ziplock bag and froze it. Then I didn't have to decide what I was going to make out of it right then. I could take a handful out for muffins or whatever, I was in the mood for later on. One day I just decided that I was going to pull it all out and pull out all of my strawberries and make strawberry rhubarb pie filling and can it. I was so glad I didn't try to make the decision that first day. I'm very excited about the pie filling. It made pie making so easy on the 4th of July when I just had to make my crust. It will be the same way with Thanksgiving and Christmas it will take a big portion of work out of the pie making. I love your channel and I just recommended it to a friend this morning. ❤

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you SO much for recommending my channel to your friend! And you put me in the mood for strawberry Rhubarb pie, lol!

[@CaseyMaura]

Ooh! I enjoyed watching the pasta making, and was very encouraged by your devotional. ❤ I just spent part of my morning making homemade ravioli to freeze for the coming week, and I’m not sure how well they’ve turned out (I tried a new to my dough recipe, which I wasn’t impressed with), but watching your video gave me a few ideas on how to better manage my process of pasta making! Nothing beats homemade pasta! ❤❤❤

[@minihomesteadcooking]

I would love videos on you guys using your Kitchen Queen stove to cook on and bake in. My teens like to see ideas. They bake bread and cookies in ours.

[@mountainmamashome]

Great idea!! I'll include that in a video soon, I wrote it down to do!

[@minihomesteadcooking]

Awesome!

[@tiffanywalker7474]

Great video!! I am wondering why more homesteaders don't have milk goats?

[@roksannastephens4375]

If I have the land and means I would own chickens and goats!

[@Grandmasvids]

Love ur big kitchen

[@mountainmamashome]

Thank you so much 😊

[@IfyouShowup...Showout]

💟

[@TheMennomilist]

I once had a friend who started to dress like me, started to attempt to have my handwriting, and followed me around bc I helped her from a major situation once, She told me she was obsessed with me years later. It was very odd. She even wanted a boyfriend similar to mine (now husband). It was just not fun for me though she meant well...but wanted my life and to be me. I continued to be kind, but I let her see my imperfections so she would separate a bit, which she did. We are not close now but I think she finally came to terms with her own identity which helped. We do still get along though. I didn't understand it though because I have always been one of those who likes being an individual and not blending in really with friends. If I have common interests, that is great, but I have always remained myself with my own interests that have not really wavered. Anyway, I enjoyed your lesson today and watching you make food too!!!! Now I AM going to make food because it led me to feeling hungry (and I was nursing while watching which also led to hunger).

[@pattyhansen7563]

I had a girl do this kind of thing in the 3rd grade. My father told me, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". But being flattered is not too good either. What I realized many years later was that this girl came from a very bad family situation & just probably wanted a friend.

[@rachelnelson8518]

What do you do when you feel envious of your spouse!? I’m struggling so much with this. We are going on baby #5 due in Sept. and this past month we’ve been so sick. I’ve watched as he’s been able to take days off when he gets a cough and sleep in… while I run to beds in the middle of the night… and wake with the children… I think he’s gotten up twice the entire month with the kids. I feel so jealous that he can just call his boss and get the time off. While I, 8 months pregnant, and feeling feverish and coughing and sick and tired have no one to call to have the time off. He can’t stay home to help me when I need it and nobody ever wants to come help a sick family… otherwise they might get sick. I’m spending every minute researching and planning and preparing as best I can for upcoming school year… while he watches childish shows and plays video games on his phone… He does put the baby to bed and do the dishes on occasion. I almost gave up after dinner tonight after I put it all on the table, helped everyone eat, and then everyone left with dad to watch a show and let me clean up. He noticed my hurt and began cleaning but he was mad about it and that just hurt worse than just doing it myself…. How do I not feel envious in this situation? Sometimes it kills me how unbalanced the workload feels in my own home… I know he goes to work and gets the paycheck. But I’ve honestly thought that if I could find a way to make some money, I’m not sure I’d even need him around for much because I do pretty much everything else.

[@mountainmamashome]

Hello Rachel. I'm sorry you are going through this! I do think most of us have been here though, especially bigger family mama's. I think the first place to start is by sitting down and having a very honest conversation with your husband. Also, I do think you could benefit from some counseling. Do you have a church you could look for counseling in, or any programs in your area?

[@pattyhansen7563]

I, too, have struggled with envying my husband. But I will tell you, that all of those 'tasks' are somewhat the job I signed up for when agreeing to stay home. & while it doesn't look 'fair' right NOW, it does get easier for the mother as the kids get older. We literally sat down & reviewed ALL the tasks I would be taking on, like job duties, when we decided I was going to stay home. All the things you listed are the tasks that I willingly AGREED to & therefore, I check myself when I feel complaints coming out. My husband has had to put up with some crappy things in his job (like 2 hours of driving time daily in NY weather, 14 hour workdays on the regular to afford me being home, vindictive bosses, hard physical labor, very, very little sleep, afternoon shifts, midnight shifts, roadside repairs in freezing weather; he is a tractor trailer mechanic), that I have largely avoided by being home. Now that the kids are older, I have much more time to myself. If you raise your kids to be fairly independent they will take care of things for themselves. My kids are young adults (17 &20), have jobs, cars, activities, do their own chores, banking, etc...They don't 'need' me that much now. While my husband's job is as demanding as it always has been, I now have time to go visit friends, read a book, sit & knit in the afternoons, take walks, etc...I've tried the whole "get a part time job to have independence" trick. It NEVER worked, it always backfired; my husband was very resentful, my kids were not happy, & I was more stressed out by all that was not getting done in my own home. I actually envy my husband for different reasons - it seems like everything comes so easy to him & I struggle so much with anxiety, at times, that certain things that others take for granted (driving somewhere or leaving the house) can turn into big obstacles. It seems like everything he attempts works out, or is successful & people ALWAYS like him. He is a huge people person & is usually the life of the party, and I often am left off to the side due to not being sure of myself. We actually went to couple's counseling for a year, because this was one issue that was tearing us apart after 20 years of marriage. What I realized was that #1 we just have some different kinds of personality traits & #2 his 'outgoing' response to everything was his OWN way of responding to situations where HE was anxious. weird? And as for people always liking him...he can be somewhat of a chameleon - so people are not really getting to see the real him, as he hides his flaws & I tend to be a 'what you see is what you get' type & people either LOVE me or they HATE me. And I am okay with that now. Getting stuck in pity party mode makes it hard to see WHY you are feeling what you are feeling & it makes it hard to approach your spouse with a willingness to solve the problem. Everyones' defenses get up & nothing gets resolved. Ultimately, it took an outside party to help us meet each other in the middle & to see where some expectations were not being fulfilled & where some were unreasonable.

[@105cathy]

I’ve known for quite a while that my sister envies me. She is a believer. After my mothers death we are estranged. (Her choice, not mine).

[@mountainmamashome]

That is rough 😥.

[@allheartandsong]

I am really sorry about that. I hope you find a circle of friends who pour love into you and you feel you belong.❤

[@roksannastephens4375]

😢 My two adult children are astranged from me. (their choice not mine)

[@105cathy]

Yes, but we live several states away from each other, which helps. Your comments on envy really helped me, thank you.

[@sdl5731]

Do you not use a vent over your stove? Are you worried about smoke or anything?

[@mountainmamashome]

I'd love one but it's not in the budget at this time.

[@elle_nolt]

@@mountainmamashomewe don’t have one either.

[@deborahn.7085]

Dear Shayla, I love your videos. 😊 I noticed how many views your videos have and how little likes and comments (in comparison). So I thought - you might want to mention real shortly in every video that liking and commenting on your video really helps you and helps the channel to get even more views? It's just an idea. 😊❤

[@hodgettsfamilypn]

I wonder if your ADHD played a part? I only ask because I am 50 years old and I think I am on the spectrum and I am shocked at how I still give people the benefit of the doubt and don't consider that they might be envious until it becomes blindingly obvious!

[@mountainmamashome]

That is an interesting thought, you are probably onto something with it too. Thank you for pointing that out!