Homeschool or Public School Struggle Bus! Let’s chat!

[@kristenpoletti790]

My daughter has ADHD as well and really struggled in school. She is so much happier at home. What I’ve realized with her is, she is always going to push back, no matter what, even if she likes the curriculum. What is currently working is having open and go language arts and math so she can get it done quickly and going with her interests for history/science. Making it super hands on, fun, and lots of art.

[@Homeschoolology]

Sorry to hear that you guys are struggling. But I think following your instincts and starting over in your plans is a great call! Make your life easier! You guys have got this!

[@jenniferday5879]

My kiddo has ADD/ADHD, he was diagnosed in 2nd grade. He would come home with so much anxiety and frustration that turned into anger. He did well academically, but teachers always focused on him not following routine, not staying on task and speaking out of turn etc.. We tried a 504, but it did nothing. All the cards are stacked against these kiddos in public school. The frustration comes because they know they are smart, but life is challenging in a lot of ways. We started homeschooling the next year. It was the best decision for my child. We also came to the realization a couple months into it that we needed to medicate. That was the hardest decision and gut wrenching that still affects me today. However, the medication did help a lot and I saw the spark come back. It's not easy, we have both good and challenging days. We take a lot of brakes throughout the day and school year-round, so I don't have to worry about the schedule-we both need breaks throughout the year. I try to make it child lead as much as possible even though I have to decipher what he wants. I know him and know his interests and he would never get that in a public school. It does get better with time.

[@schultesweeties]

Thinking of you! We are also dealing with some unexpected homeschool changes this fall. While our situation isn't exactly like yours, I can definitely relate!

[@ginagiberti9283]

I feel this struggle. Two of my kids have ADHD DXs (one is also gifted and has anxiety). It can be a lot to manage, but every professional we've talked to has validated that homeschool is often the best option for kids "like this." Good luck 🤞

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

Thank you I’ve heard the same

[@seasonsofwonder]

I wish you and your family the best. You're a great mama! 🙏☺️

[@beachgurl788]

I totally understand where you are coming from!!! Hang in there! Sending big hugs and prayers your way! 🤗🙏🫶

[@CalmintheChaosHomeschool]

Having kids with ADHD can really be a challenge… a lot of the time. Never a dull moment for sure. I can relate to all your thoughts and wondering and health/stress issues… you are not alone. I have started wondering if some of my kids would be better in public school (though I know probably not).

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s so hard but I know I am doing the best I can. And nobody will fight for my baby like I do.

[@nancystevens8475]

Love the haircut! Take all the time that you need to reset and find your new normal.

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

I feel so loved and supported in these comments thank you ❤

[@KikiP-rb8no]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry about everything that you're going through! I don't get push back as much as your daughter has but I do struggle with nerve issues as well plus i have a toddler that wants attention all the time so when i was thinking about next yr, I'm picked everything that's based on simple, short but in depth styles, almost like charlotte mason method. I'm going to try to not worry about if it's enough for him 😂 my goal is to do L.A and math everyday and add other subjects twice a week 😅 take one day at a time and give yourself some grace too!

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

@@KikiP-rb8no thank you so much

[@gatheredandgroundedhomeschool]

I wish one of your trips was to see me! I need to give you a hug 😭

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

Me toooooooo

[@HomeschoolMom515]

Please keep in mind that there is going to be pushback no matter what curriculum you choose. My daughter loved her curriculum last year and still had days she didn't want to do school. I am sure there are days you don't want to clean the house or go to work or go shopping. She's just going through those same feelings and trying to figure out if she can get away with. Before you change your curriculum you chose, you should give it a trial run. That way you know what you actually need to replace. It seems like you are under so much stress so personally, I would push back your start date, take your time off at Christmas, and end a little later next school year. I know you have mentioned public school a few times, but I guarantee if your daughter is struggling at home it will be a thousand times harder in school since she has ADHD. Just take the time off you need. I think that will give you a lot more enthusiasm and energy towards the school year if you are not forcing yourself to start when you are not ready.

[@kb8990]

There is no right or wrong answer. There are just options. If you try school maybe then she sees those options as opposed to only you seeing those options. Maybe school allows you to just be mom as opposed to teacher and mom. We homeschool and one of my kids struggles a lot. I am really saying this to myself as much as to you because I recognize school may have to be on the table for us at some point. It’s not easy to be a parent and I’d say being a teacher parent is even harder. Homeschoolers can really put pressure on each other, so I’d say put on your blinders to other people and perceived expectations from them- KZbin and otherwise. If you’re ever looking for something fun to do (if she likes art) I really recommend Glitterbombers. A lot of video art lessons that are totally able to be done independently. If you want to do more they have units built in, but you can absolutely just use it as art. Julie is super fun and I get a break. There are two sample units on the website if you’re ever curious.

[@user-fb5ze9fx7e]

Two thoughts that I had while watching your video: 1) It sounds like she just needs a long summer break, and 2) Given her age, there are probably a lot of hormones and preteen-ness happening. As a fellow curriculum junkie, i can tell you that when my older child chose to go back to public school post-covid, I was more distraught at the though of not getting a chance to do all of the cool curricula than at the idea of him being in public school. He went back, he has thrived, and I have sated my curriculum addiction by assigning him a little extra evening reading (we're talking less than 20 minutes). Whatever you choose, I wish you the best.

[@HomeschoolMom515]

I was also thinking maybe you and your daughter could agree on a school day length and instead of worrying about completing specific curriculum each day, just worry about doing school a certain amount of time. Also, giving your daughter a planner with control over what she needs to do might help.

[@HomeSweetHomeschoolLife]

I completely understand where you are coming from. My son was diagnosed with ADHD the summer after 3rd grade. While he loved unit studies, he wasn’t and still isn’t ever thrilled with the thought of school. I am trying to learn to not take the pushback personally. It’s hard and some days are rough.

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

I thought about you a lot and was going to reach out as some of your videos came up when I was doing some of my research. Did he ever love school? Because Molly did! And I hate that she doesn’t nos

[@HomeSweetHomeschoolLife]

@@blessedhomeschoolmesshe enjoyed PreK and Kindergarten, but he was miserable 1st-3rd. He does enjoy homeschool more because he knows what public school is like. He stayed in trouble because of his ADHD. However, it may be just what your kiddo needs. She may thrive. The awesome thing is that if it didn’t work out, you can always bring her back home.

[@tammyron5705]

I don’t know if you’ve already given this a try but would a co-op be an option to help take some of the teaching off of you and give her a change as well? I’ve had to do this with my dyslexic ADHD learner so I understand the struggle. Less curriculum that I have to make decisions about and he gets to hang out in a different learning environment a couple of days a week. Then I work with him at home two days a week. I hope everything falls into place for you.

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

We have done a couple co/ops and well, they weren’t really good. She enjoyed the one, but there was a lot of bullying going on and the people in charge did nothing about it. So we left then tried another one and she wasn’t connecting with anyone and the classes seemed very boring and not well thought out. Horribly organized etc. it’s hard to find a co/op around here and one that doesn’t cost a fortune. Sigh. I wish we could find one!

[@CP-fo5sy]

Is she asking to go to public school? If not, and maybe I'm wrong, wouldn't that make her anxiety worse? For us, variety and real books are big keys for curriculum. Unit studies worked for a bit, but now were doing literature studies and trying some Sonlight next year. Hang in there! I'm praying for all three of you.

[@blessedhomeschoolmess]

@@CP-fo5sy she has not mentioned public school to me it’s just hard with an only child as I feel she’s bored and I can’t keep her challenged 100% of the time and I get she needs to be bored sometimes it’s just hard !

[@CP-fo5sy]

@@blessedhomeschoolmess. Ok. I see what you are saying. My daughter says she doesn't like school, and she prefers either independent curriculum or something I teach, especially using real books vs textbooks. She prefers to be homeschooled, but doesn't love the work. She does her work though, and secretly enjoys parts of it. She mentioned to her siblings several times that she liked certain things but wouldn't admit it, silly girl. It's difficult at times but I've learned to not take it personally. She knows that I'm cheering her on, and here when she needs me. Life is difficult to navigate for kids and parents, so keep reaching out and doing your best.