Homestuck - Beatdown Round 2 [Album Version]

[@TheAdvertisement]

Honestly props to Dave for lasting so long in this round, he manages to get past Cal and fight his bro directly sword to sword. Too bad he didn't heed warnings about the stairs-

[@interdimensionalgoober8769]

He warned him about the stairs, he told him dawg

[@crossgear3042]

Its even more surprising when you see how bro strider was absolutely kicking the ever living crap outta jack till becks powers got added and even then he held his own for a bit. And dave held his own pre god tier.

[@theStridingRebel]

It's possible that he was just holding back against Dave for this fight, and his battle against Jack really made him go all out​@@crossgear3042

[@moondrop11]

bro!!!! i told you dog!!!!!1

[@fallaciousUnion]

its kinda dope how daves version has like seemingly random record scratches and hopping tracks like his flashstep but this is like a masterful loop showing how much more of a handle bro has on this fighting style

[@anhilliator1]

TG: bro just kicked my ass TG: thats really all there is to say on the matter

[@SINVINSINVINSIN]

Wait, is Bro giving Dave the thumbs down to warn him about those stairs?

[@calyps0rion]

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BRO"

[@jacquelinekozume4604]

well, he's not wrong 😂😂😂😂

[@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic199]

so ironic!

[@yohumanfrisk]

ironically

[@z1BRRR]

yeah?

[@sunshineyrainbows13]

I never do get tired of watching people argue/be generally confused about ectobiology.

[@antipsychotic451]

it's not very difficult to understand, hussie literally explains it to you in the act 4 recap

[@galactikw01f]

Jade and Jake are eachother's grandparents, Jake and Jane are cousins, and John and Jade are cousins/siblings. Dave and Dirk are brothers / eachother's dads. Dave and Rose are siblings. Roxy and Rose are eachother's mothers, and I'm pretty sure Dirk and Roxy are only related through Dave and Rose or Roxy is also Dirk's mom. The relationship between Roxy and Dirk is the only thing I'm confused on.

[@rotary1742]

@@galactikw01f which one came from the meteor then?!

[@galactikw01f]

@@rotary1742 its a paradox. It works the same was as that shitty movie about the trans time traveler that falls in love with his younger, female self and births his clone. There was an original, then they played Sburb, created themselves, and skaia sent them to earth on a meteor. Then they just keep doing that forever since life and time aren't real. Like in animation, every second is a frame of time where you're stuck moving smoothly through it so you don't notice, but we're constantly surrounded by paradoxes that we perceive as normal time continuing.

[@rotary1742]

@@galactikw01f oooh makes sense.

[@dpressso]

the people who press the dislike button is trying to do bro's pose

[@blindedjourneyman]

Tricksterluv 12345 can't blame them, he's just too cool...

[@theweirdsburbian3786]

My brother would throw me down stairs and not care as well

[@theweirdsburbian3786]

Archael lol

[@xavierhorn9825]

i would throw myself down stairs and not care as well

[@kutagore]

I would throw my brother down the stairs and not care as well

[@sefsprite]

the stairs would throw me down my brother and not care as well

[@CherishSpirits]

Bro we warned u about those stairs

[@Sheghostly]

Bro makes giving someone a thumbs-down look more badass then it has any right to be, :o

[@dooplon5083]

It has every right.

[@toastee4022]

CAN'T ABSCOND, BRO

[@AbsurdlyLudicrous724]

Oh, he's badass alright. He's bad, and he's an ass.

[@BananaHanson]

@@AbsurdlyLudicrous724 I think Bro needs to abscond after that one

[@tophatmonkey3584]

He is warning about the stairs, bro

[@Her_Imperious_Condescension]

18 people weren't warned about stairs. bro.

[@lasegame]

told you dog!!!

[@fry1757]

Make that 19 who weren't warned about stairs, bro.

[@fandomtrash6396]

The Atomic Cherry I WARNED YOU BOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO I TOLD YOU DOG

[@fry1757]

8^y IT KEEPS HAPPENING!!!!

[@anidiotgoestolondon2020]

Make That 21

[@dummy.2092]

everyones always giving bro crap about anime sword fighting with dave, but no ones talking about johns dad tricking john into eating peanuts, roses mom being an alcoholic, or jade having to stuff her dead grandpa.

[@kellis9351]

mainly cause none of those things are routine, systemic child abuse. in pesterquest john admits that while his father's pranks are sometimes a bit much, he still thinks he's a great dad. rose says multiple times she thinks she was overreacting to her mum and that her mum was probably just genuinely trying to have a connection with her that got overreacted to. jade stuffing her grandpa is weird but a family tradition that she doesn't really seem to care about. on the other hand, bro is an asshole who beats and fights dave constantly, plays mind games with him, and doesn't even look after him - even if rose's mum was an alcoholic, at least she provided food.

[@oingaboinga1251]

kellis Rose seems to be in a bad situation at the time though too. I mean, getting into fights with your parent who doesn’t take proper care of you because they’re too busy drinking is bad

[@ChReNiC]

@@kellis9351 bro put dave through training that was instrumental to getting everyone through the game, which, if his getting of his own copy of sburb and his hands in saving dave and fighting jack tell us anything, were all intentional for the benefit of the session. sure, it fucking sucked that paradox space decided dave needed to be that hyper-competent of a fighter in the first place, but if we can forgive mom lalonde for having such a relationship with her daughter that she quickly resorts to suicide threats and grandpa harley for leaving jade alone to fend for herself with nothing but a goddog and the internet for company on a deserted island for years and years(not to mention letting a minor play around with firearms), we can cut a little slack to bro who was just being as hyper pragmatic and terrible at actually dealing with people as dirks usually are about dealing with the dangerous situation at hand.

[@zaregoto6022]

I thought the reason why bro is abusive to dave is because lil cal and basically being influenced by lord english

[@ChReNiC]

@@zaregoto6022 i mean, it probably didn't help, but if dirk's treatment of jake tells us anything its that that's just part of the base dirk persona being dirk in the role of caring for a child

[@johnegbert1748]

It's multiple universe incarnations. Although Dirk and Bro have exactly the same genetics, they lived very different lives, just like Dave and Dirk's bro have the same genetics but lived very different lives. This is the same as Aranea and Mindfang. They share genetics, but have led separate lives. All of this is because in one universe, they played Sburb or Sgrub, but in the other they didn't, and so were able to lead semi-regular lives as non-gods.

[@Cri_Jackal]

I don't think the description of "non-god" can ever possibly apply to the beast that is Bro Strider.

[@rinatepaste9218]

Thanks for the ectobiology explanation john egbert (if you still even use this platform)

[@goldegreen]

Basically they're as much the same person as identical twins are, which is to say, not

[@VaILI_12]

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE [[Beaten Up]]

[@fantoast6932]

you think there's a big shot leitmotif?

[@minecraftdunyas4339]

​@@fantoast6932 Tbh yea. Like at least inspired because the beginning is literally same on both. Both have the similar beginning and have intense melody focus with jumpy bg bass. Big Shot is like some sort of beatdown take at least imo.

[@idreamingaming5408]

I love how Bro is pointing at the Subscribe button XD

[@philcarpal3926]

Not in theater mode. Or full screen.

[@picklecakeface]

aLLiance Gaming Yes you are a fucking genius. Would you like a medal?

[@philcarpal3926]

Vinc T Not particularly, but ok.

[@zipperooni]

On mobile, he's pointing at the dislike button.

[@barackobama4948]

N07 0N M081L3, 8U7 0K.

[@uncreativearro]

Actually, Bro's sword appears to be Dirk's sword, which is, at least according to its name, unbreakable.

[@undersc0r]

in reality its a shitty $30 sword

[@wildfire9280]

@@undersc0r he probably got it at a brony convention too

[@beepyyy]

actually the unbreakable katana was alchemised during the trickster thing

[@revivememanihavetheraygun3475]

No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want to, *you CAN'T abscond bro*

[@minmus410]

You cannot.

[@ETHBK]

Jack: thats a nice brother of yours, itd be a shame if i was to Davesprite: no Jack: Take a stab Davesprite: oh Jebus

[@am_knuz]

jesus*

[@am_knuz]

jegus*

[@am_knuz]

nailed it

[@purpleshep7439]

JEGUS

[@yohumanfrisk]

Oh Earth Jegus

[@woodfur00]

This version is so thoroughly Bro that it makes me a little sick.

[@weaponizedpizza8825]

bro's theme is too cool to be heard coherently when sped up.

[@DingDong-ti2pj]

“I WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO.”

[@Thrackerzod8]

When i fall in some stairs, i hope this is the first thing to start playing in my head

[@deletedTestimony]

I feel like this got canonized as a Dirk song instead of a Dave one along the way, and you gotta admit, it was definitely more his fight...

[@maverickREAL]

Bro: *is a canonical child abuser, obsessed with weird puppets, and is generally a terrible person* Dirk: *hee hoo gay*

[@thegibusguy4969]

I think it was mentioned at some point Cal had some kind of influence on beta Dirk which is why he's different to alpha Dirk.

[@maverickREAL]

@@thegibusguy4969 That makes sense, honestly.

[@gubbykillbind]

fun seeing incredibly recent comments on homestuck vids.

[@CosmosGatito]

@@gubbykillbind the fandom died with the end of homestuck and went god-tier with the epilogues

[@jacobfloyd3410]

Cosmos Gatito god tier? Epilogues are trash and homestuck ended in act 5.

[@dsdstudios386]

13 people couldn't abscond.

[@puttinginyournameisstupid920]

I WANRED YOU BOUT THOOSE STAIRS BRO

[@dsdstudios386]

I TOLD YOU DOG

[@codyyarbery2648]

IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING.

[@jgiles2269]

Dave: Kill dem mofos

[@flurriestone]

Joey Dood shit. let's be santa.

[@fabergeLEGOboy]

this is the song that plays when either of my brothers come into my room and beat the shit outta me

[@croncherss]

fiery kai o o f

[@SpaceTiger9]

Dirk (Dave's Bro) apparently watches the show purely academically, but loves Rainbow Dash because "SHE IS SO SPUNKY

[@qwertyuiop.lkjhgfdsa]

music to beat someone to death to

[@ToozdaysChild]

I predict Dirk's first alchemization upon entering the game will be to combine his sword with the Rainbow Dash poster, creating the Rainbow Slash. And he will feel 20% cooler just holding it.

[@stoplookingatthisyougleepy]

Rest In Peace, rainbow slash.

[@bane2988]

Wow, an unironic use of "20% cooler" Please lord take me back to those times it was better back then

[@goldegreen]

I wish that actually happened

[@foreverandonward]

Mhm as far as his sword goes you find out that sword is actually one of Echidna's needles fashioned into a blade. The reason its so strong is because Space Player and their Denizens can effect the Scratch and Fourth Well. As far as Echidna goes it was said in Homestuck her needles are sharp and strong enough to cut the time space continuum which caused the Scratch.

[@xx_77]

im not a homestuck fan, and im just now reading it but i shit you not, when the “cant abscond bro!” text popped up i said it exactly at the same time

[@xx_77]

@@siracha6242 one h e l l of a ride indeed

[@platypusparasol9825]

​@@xx_77how was the ride bud

[@tragicCartoonist]

this song cures my headaches every time what

[@CheddarVG]

Bro looks like he's doing the most epic dislike ever.

[@demonkiller8000]

Literally coming up with a fighting style to encompass this rhythm

[@tdimensional6733]

Bro rules. Dave owns.

[@CosmosGatito]

you can hear this in Narrative Command. Bro never died. he just retired to hijack the narrative.

[@RikuMcduck]

*I warned you about the stairs bro!*

[@AG-ff1kv]

So Homestuck fans, how we feelin' about OMORI...?

[@gegor41311]

We warned her about the stairs. We told her, bro.

[@AG-ff1kv]

@@gegor41311 It kept happening...

[@chaosincarnate1141]

ill never look at stairs again x2 combob

[@GravityFluxStudios]

I REALLY want to talk about how Bro's pointing at the subscribe button. Thank houli Patch for making me realize that.

[@Asupreme]

ah, times change

[@alejandrite9]

im on mobile dont see anything

[@gam8ligant]

this is no longer me at lunch. i have moved on

[@lilnikki75]

omg its vriska real official channel

[@demonkiller8000]

Proud of you

[@ailuroswag5661]

this song makes me trip on the damn stairs. really.

[@institutespencer]

I warned you about stairs bro!!!!!

[@notafbiagent473]

I'm not sure why bro is considered abusive. Sure he terrorizes Dave and fights him but A1-3 is when Homestuck was more exaggerated and comedically focused. Are we supposed to take John trying to murder his father and Rose making a suicide threat also as serious?

[@paradoxicaloutcome1007]

Thank you. All the attempts to ground the absurd RPG-mechanics humor of early Homestuck always felt weird to me in Act 6, with characters suddenly starting to take seriously things that were clearly played off as jokes before, and not even in a consistent way. Apparently the RPG battle where John hits his father with a hammer is just a joke, but suddenly we're expected to take the sword fight between Dave and Bro seriously thousands of pages later, even though the two events were depicted the exact same at the time.

[@mama_m00n]

dave said that bro starved him

[@sunnysun413]

@@mama_m00nwasnt that during act 6?

[@jackdiddles4304]

I think the idea is Dave hadn't fully realized that stuff wasn't normal until he spent a long time away from it, which might be more common than you think with abuse victims.

[@internetwizard4922]

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIRRSSS *Stairs Intensify*

[@кровочтение]

Child abuse music edition

[@darlinqq_]

Dat shi got me going absolutely fucking bonkers fr fr 🔥‼️ shit so fire the sun is cold in comparison ☝️💯 WE🆙

[@DisillusionStarFruit]

His neck...where is his neck?

[@festeringmongoose71]

What neck? Clearly there is no neck.

[@philcarpal3926]

festering Mongoose Fuck you I was gonna say that!

[@ivo5486]

Bro: RETRIEVE NECK FROM CLOSET.

[@cliquemate6453]

Fred Fuchs YES

[@Absenteeee]

+Fred Fuchs if you look closely the commands aren't ==> Fred: Read this comment. they are in fact > Fred: Read this comment Otherwise, the 'continue' commands would be: ==> ==> and that's just kind of dumb

[@artlus478]

a battle is surely brewing.

[@gegor41311]

Dude imagine Davebot vs Ultimate Dirk being a remix of that.

[@gegor41311]

I am still fairly certain it will happen. sometime... when homestuck^2 updates...

[@Voodoomancer]

This song is like a frag grenade wrapped in 3 layers of awesome.

[@Corarii]

fuck bro strider but this still bangs

[@danielbenavides8287]

still one of my fave songs from homestuck, no matter how simple or old!

[@douglewis7946]

I think I sped this up to....120%, was it? **Mindgasm*

[@dooplon5083]

I'm on mobile so I can't check. What is it?

[@sillyYata]

NOICE

[@LeafyGreenDA]

sounds like what happens when you hear something too loud and your hearing is just now coming back

[@gingervampireFTW]

Technically, though, they are. Dave's bro got sent through one skaian portal to the Beta kid's universe. However, when John activated the Scratch, Skaia switched its portals so that Bro, and the other guardians for that matter, would go to the new universe. So yeah, they're the same.

[@Scoutette]

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

[@DrizzlyDrool]

I warned you about thise stairs man

[@PridefulShadow]

Okay, here's the simplest way to settle everyone's arguments: Dirk and Bro are genetically the same person. However, they are different people and different characters. Bro's corpse is somewhere on LOWAS. Mom and Dad's are last seen in a castle on the Battlefield. Grandpa got sent to space and is presumably the only one that was wiped out by the Scratch. Nanna is still a sprite. Yes, Pre- and Post-Scratch iterations are genetically the same people. But they are completely different characters.

[@uncreativearro]

Yes, I know that, I was just observing that despite being in different versions of the universe they appear to use the same blade.

[@yunk5453]

Sometimes I like to think that Grandpa is still alive, just waiting. And during the final fight, he'll just sneak up and blow bastards away like he did to that butterfly....like a boss.

[@Andergrammar]

Ha yes! Just got to the point when they are trying to be "friends" and John and Rose are in their mediums. Loving it so far ;) (4ND N0W 1 UN3RST4ND WHY P30PL3 TYP3 L1K3 TH15)

[@Кнайфи-д2б]

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS MAN

[@zabar682]

When me and my brother fight, I play this song

[@goldegreen]

This song is so crunchy

[@FragrantRain]

Coolest part of the series so far, imo

[@kylerblake8581]

bro your name is dirk not flippin bro

[@silentlyjudgingyou6231]

but you don't know that, same way you don't know the name of older dave in the alpha time line (the one who died saving the universe from juggalos) for all we know they could both be called bro strider. or completely different names because why the fuck not.

[@kylerblake8581]

***** I Have read Homestuck you thick fuck im not an Idiot but seriously I just they should atleast mention that his Name is dirk but no they keep it well and Hidden

[@kylerblake8581]

well whatever Bro strider isnt really a name seeing Bro is a shortened version of Brother

[@kylerblake8581]

yep

[@scales251]

Kyler Blake H1S N4M3 1S L13R4LLY BRO, BRO

[@miss_bec]

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!!!!

[@serialphantasm]

+Beware the Man Who Speaks In Danks I WARNED YOU DOG!

[@Pope4007]

I'm about to do an acrobatic pirouette off the fucking handle and down an unnecessarily long flight of stairs

[@miss_bec]

Dave Strider With ironic intent I assume.

[@Wonderlight-o6o]

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

[@zipperooni]

(Insert something ironic here)

[@IceCreamSplat]

You never got to know the name of the sword in the Beta universe. And even though Dirk and Bro are the same persons, them growing up was different. Even though a lot of things were kept the same. And what's included being the same is Dirk finding his unbreakable katana.

[@Khione3]

> ABSCOND > CAN’T ABSCOND, BRO!

[@JackMaglc]

hands are hard to draw

[@Zalian]

Considering the whole battle is a hilariously futile lack of progress (IT KEEPS HAPPENING), I'd say your dad read the song quite well. Though music constantly at awesome doesn't need to go anywhere to be great, so your dad could use some lessons still.

[@Gertrudeize]

You know you are badass when you CUT METEORS IN HALF!!!!

[@Equinox226]

>insert comment about Bro being abusive here

[@calimantis]

CAN'T ABSCOND, BRO

[@biggieslugs]

oh my gog thats THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY

[@AntyBob23]

They still grew up differently, which changes a lot about them and their personality, even though it's the same body.

[@TheRaccoonRed]

Bro can be either Dirk or Dave, it only matters from which perspective.. I think? Just like Mom is either Roxy or Rose, Grandpa is either John or Jake and Grandma is either Jane or Jade. It matters from which perspective. Pre-Scratch it was 'Dirk' who was playing the role of 'Bro', whilst Post-Scratch it was 'Dave'. wait what am i even doing here im not explaining anything

[@Darkmarine40]

Can't abscond, bro!

[@bootlegmufasacringe2397]

Can i abscond yet?

[@danielbenavides8287]

sorry, you must wait another 13 years.

[@danielbenavides8287]

not until you learn to watch for the stairs I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BROOOOO

[@raxaraxaraxar]

I'm pretty sure at some point it's implied that Grandpa returns to pre-Sburb Earth some time after his appearance in the Medium, most probably why Dream Jade's corpse is found in the tower, and soon afterwards dies. Also semi-implied that he knows he's gonna die when he comes back.

[@skitzol4dhuntersYAY]

YOU WILL BE AVENGED BRO!!

[@okrom1376]

put a dislike on this is just have a giga brain

[@Explosivebarrelsman]

Well actually, Dirk and Bro are the same. Bro uses the same sword, has the same glasses, has the same shirt, etc. Dave has no parents and no children, only Bro, so they were who was switched through the timelines. Dave was just placed on earth first instead of second after the scratch, so he had the life that Dirk did in the original timeline.

[@Akamuaru999]

Bro is made even more cool because he wears baseball gloves. But it's ironically, so it's okay.

[@PridefulShadow]

Chameleonred5 :I never said who killed him; I was referring to his taxidermized corpse that Bec sent into space to prevent him from being prototyped into the kernalsprite and therefore was never brought into the game. Tavros killing him was completely besides the point (the Alpha and Beta iterations NOT being the same people, though genetically they are the same) so I didn't bother mentioning him.

[@NewWabiSabi]

they literally are the same people, just different universes.

[@TohtDays]

IKR? It's about time he learns that his song is flipping cool.

[@13magna1]

Dirk and Bro are the same person

[@DeidaraIsTheBest10]

If I were good at spriting, i would make a bro character for mugen IT WOULD BE BADASS!! i wolud love to know how to make a spritesheet with a blank image, instead of editing a character... NOW I'VE GOT TIME, I COULD TRY IT! after i finish an image of my patron troll, of course...

[@Thrasher1018]

Dave's bro looks like a badass in this pic. He looks badass in every pic.

[@karatekid778]

where doing it, man. where MAKING THIS HAPEN.

[@dirkstrider5865]

I approve of this.

[@tacpat]

“I WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO!”

[@TheFloopBloop]

@contemptousTwit shhh sollux. Your theme is seriously one of the best songs. c:

[@PridefulShadow]

shue || donham : I was referring to his taxidermized corpse, which got sent into space by Bec instead of entering the game with Jade and therefore got wiped by the Scratch. I never said anything about how he died, though it seems like a lot of people thought I meant that. =/

[@cloudzrip4208]

ok dont care

[@SPI014]

that one dislike is Dave... Bro is a complete badass

[@AugustRushin]

So i just finished reading it and i guess i'll share my opinion. Dave calls Dirk Bro. his real name is Dirk Strider, and Dave's last name is Strider so it would kinda seem like them to call each other bro. (spoiler if you haven't read any farther than that) John take's Dirk's genetic make up and makes a baby form,in which he was crashed into the earth. My only conclusion is that the baby Dirk is a genetic clone.. I don't know if that helps but i hope it does (with the Dirk and Bro thing)

[@PridefulShadow]

Lukethehedgehog1 : Yes, that was my point. They're genetically the same, but they're not the same person in terms of development and life history. Heck, they exist in overlapping times (while Grandpa was alive and taking care of Jade and Jake was being taken care of by Grandma, who is Post-Scratch Jade) in two different universes. Jake is no more the same person as Grandpa as John is the same person as Poppop. Same goes for Bro and Dirk and everyone else. Think of it as two keys that open the same lock. You start with one key (the original paradox clone), but you duplicate that key to an identical key (the portals sending copies of each clone to the Pre- and Post-Scratch universe). But while they are the same shape and fit in the same lock (same genes and basic personality), they are not really the same key, especially if they are going in two different places (two different universes, two different lives).

[@dooplon5083]

Pretty good analogy I guess.

[@MrJamesGtv]

HURR HURR YUS DEY ARE. Seriously, jstoralde19 summed it up perfectly.

[@Kanbisushi]

If I'm right, they're the only things that can scratch the Beat Mesa, not cut space-time.

[@elementalpowerstar]

The only reason I don't do the album versions is because using an external tool like KZbin Downloader would effecitvely steal the music, like using Audacity would on the flashes themselves and the albums.

[@Chameleonred5]

They're the same person on different points of a probability timeline. They are genetically the same person. They are in all other respects considered different.

[@EmoSkittleTV]

oh yea I didn't think about that. basically they are the same person but got to grow up completely different and therefore ended up as two different people. it's so complicated > -