Homophobia at work

[@tom-ss2mn]

I think it's always best to be "out" at work. Less homophobic remarks in front of you. Don't care what they say behind my back, they're not my friends. I started a new job once. Electrical job in downtown Dallas. The Foreman was showing me around and pointed out a lesbian electrician. Then said some nasty anti gay remarks. I said"well it looks like me and you won't get along worth a shit." He looked surprised and said "why?" I said " because I'm gay and I don't appreciate that kind of talk". He apologized and we actually got along very well after that. But homophobes have more respect for those who stand up for themselves

[@Elcr73036]

I agree. Just being out in the first place doesn’t mean homophobic comments won’t be said. It’s how we react and respond that’s more important. Setting healthy boundaries with co-workers, clients, and anyone associated with our jobs is the best option. I’m glad I live in a state that fully protects my rights in the workplace with zero tolerance for any form of harassment. Co-workers are co-workers. My friends are outside my employment environment and I’m glad I’ve made that boundary clear.

[@tom-ss2mn]

@Vbz1247 100% agree. I'm glad you you in a state where you have more protections.

[@laceylouloulou]

People acted “normal” in front of me but were making fun of me and speculating about me behind my back. Then someone who purported to be my friend told me what was going on behind my back. I almost wish I hadn’t known. This was in a professional office in a very large international well known American corporation. This was 9 years ago and it’s still hurtful to think about it. I’m so glad to not have to deal with any of that and to not have to be fearful as far as my job and income is concerned. I appear to be physically masculine, but my manner of speech and some of my physical gestures say GAY GAY GAY so every where that I have ever been there has always been speculation...is he gay or isn’t he? I don’t know why people can’t just live their own life and not be so concerned with the lives of people who are “different”. I also realize that a lot of my pain is a direct result of my own internalized homophobia. If I were completely comfortable with who I am, life would be so much easier. You will laugh when I say this but there is one “person” in my life who thinks I am the greatest thing in the world and who loves me unconditionally and that is my dog. He doesn’t care about any of that homophobic bullshit. All I have to do is exist and he is just thrilled to have me love him and as soon as I finish typing this I will get down on the floor next to him as he lays there sleeping and dreaming of bunnies. I’m sorry that you have to deal with all that shit.

[@themarsman5155]

I had deal with it ever since I came out at 15 and it's been worse when I started working. Behind your back is shit move I would actually prefer a person who does it upfront at you because then you can deal with it head on, it's cowardly to do it behind your back. You will likely hear about it pretty quickly because that shit spreads fast though people, it's actually better that your friend told you than one of the homophobic people. Im actually dealing with it currently and I always think why the fuck does it bother them so much, they seem to think I'm going to magically turn them gay. They think I want to sleep with them which I don't, no one wants to sleep with an asshole. Gay guys aren't attracted to every guy they see, the same a straight guy doesn't want to sleep with every woman they see.

[@themarsman5155]

I had deal with it ever since I came out at 15 and it's been worse when I started working. Behind your back is shit move I would actually prefer a person who does it upfront at you because then you can deal with it head on, it's cowardly to do it behind your back. You will likely hear about it pretty quickly because that shit spreads fast though people, it's actually better that your friend told you than one of the homophobic people. Im actually dealing with it currently and I always think why the fuck does it bother them so much, they seem to think I'm going to magically turn them gay. They think I want to sleep with them which I don't, no one wants to sleep with an asshole. Gay guys aren't attracted to every guy they see, the same a straight guy doesn't want to sleep with every woman they see.

[@lilacshadow97]

As a person starting out my career I have been experiencing this alot lately. It eats me up inside, so much so that I dread going back to the job that I once loved...

[@ecoron2721]

I used this video at work on May 17th (Internationa Day Against Homophobia) to spark a conversation about homophobia in the workplace. Your video lead to some great conversation. Love you man! Love your videos.

[@MattMoore83]

Oh really?! I want to thank you for using this video and I wish I was there to hear the discussions. :)

[@jimmurray7826]

At my company we have ZERO tolerance for any type of sexual harassment including homophobia. IF the incident is reported, the individual can lose their job.

[@stevemoore9509]

You work for a great company.

[@wayne.k]

Hey Matt. I just discovered your channel and really enjoy hearing your thoughts. On this particular subject, I may get a little long winded. I am 56 years old and did not come out until I was 34. I was deeply involved in a church and believed I could fix myself... until I realized it wasn't happening. I could play the part, but I couldn't kill the orientation. I finally had to be honest with myself and admit I was gay. I give you the background because it helps explain where I have been since then. I am not aggressive about my sexuality but it is out there for anyone who wants to know. With each new job I have taken, I have relied on my professional abilities to set the tone for my relationships with co-workers. As people at work start to know me, they naturally ask what I did this weekend or if I am dating someone. I usually explain that my partner and I did this or that. There is usually a bit of shocked reaction from them, but I am honest about it. It took me too many years to resolve my conflict with my orientation to hide it any more. I hid it too long as it was. Thankfully, I have not had too many issues directly, although I wouldn't rule out upper management passing over me a few times because I wasn't in the "good ole boy" club. That's fine. I value my mental health more than a promotion. I don't have it all together, I assure you. I struggle for acceptance and deal with a few condescending attitudes at work to this day. But I figure I learned to like who I am. If they can't see I am a good, kind, caring, loving individual and can only see my sexual orientation... well, that's their loss. I really enjoy your videos and I hope you continue to do them in the future. I can see you are an amazing man, never let anyone convince you that you are anything less!

[@gyqz]

Because of my autism I have to be real upfront and authentic about myself. That also includes my sexuality and I am the first one to correct people on their language and behaviour if I hear/see people making fun of others because of their sexuality or mindset. When people see and notice you wear your sexuality with pride and power they don't have the urge to belittle you or take power over you, because they see you are not the one to make fun of. And that on its own plants the seed of normalizing any kind of sexuality/gender/binary/ASS spectrum you identify to. I am known in my workplace as the 'Super Gay Autistic Idiot You Do Not Want To Mess With" ......I am an ULTRA-HERO and I love and embrace that! Thank you for this video and I hope you will

[@oranwalker1030]

I love that you started by relating a dream. I'm 71. I "came out" in 1969. The only freedom to be queer I felt was deep inside. As I've moved through my life and the political ebbs and flows of America's contemporary history, I've also experienced a lightening of the load of silence. I can speak now. Unfortunately, the times right now are tough. I can't tell anybody how to live their life, but in my opinion it's important to speak out every time. One may lose one's current security, but I believe the social fabric will be mended and strengthened. I think one simply has to decide which to maintain in the moment...self or other. Thank you for your insight and quiet passion. Your influence is important, IMHO.

[@mitchellc2723]

I like how this is not edited. Almost one continuous shot.

[@tomasage9649]

Great video Matt. Your skin tones are very natural and I love the clear crisp audio. Thanks for sharing your experiences relative to this topic. I enjoyed hearing your thoughts.

[@kwoo3487]

“Maybe I’m from the future” made my day😂I get it though. It all pisses me off too.

[@frankdlc31]

I've had coworkers who say their culture/religion doesn't accept gay people which is why it's difficult for them to change. Sometimes we need to show them we are more than our sexual attractions. Our characters should be what defines us. We can change people's perception of our community by kindness and having an open conversation. Continue to be who you are in the workplace and surround yourself with people who support you.

[@jeffereyhopkins750]

We had a gay assistant manager at my store and he was pretty open with everyone. I gravitational toward mostly because he was the first person I could talk about plants to because he knew almost as much as I did. Well the stories that swirled around us. He was happily married and someone in store called his husband up and told them the lie which caused him some grief. We are still good friends but he no longer works there but I try to stay in contact.

[@donaldstanfield8862]

Petty people want to inflict drama where they see people are happy, so idiotic!

[@reverseart1130]

My last three jobs, have gone to management. 1. I have had denial where people did leave (probably because they found out I had complained). Even with a recorded message. 2 I was consoled by managers after I left. I did blow my top as I got mad, not violently. 3 i've had 'assurance' that something would be done only for it to actually become accusation from managers that I have not done my job correctly. The last I believe was pressure from the bully who even managers struggled to deal with. It was easier for me to leave. I have respect for you making this video. I keep changing my career in a way. I know that it is the people that make a workplace a great place. Hope everyone who is affectted finds a higher place hey!!

[@donaldstanfield8862]

It's ridiculous we are not equal by this point in time, life and productivity would flow so much better with sensible rules in place!

[@reverseart1130]

@@donaldstanfield8862 I appreciate what you have said Thanks. I have always been as open as I could be. We all want to believe things are getting better. The good/decent ones. Your are 100% right.

[@jiaxindong5020]

What made me really sad is several good friends of mine who are actually kind and open-minded in other issues are homophobic. It just shocked me. Maybe that’s because they don’t know LGBTQ community enough, sometimes I told myself. But I am not sure, not confident enough that if I come out to them, will they try to change their minds because of me, or just hate me like they used to say? Why don’t people hate different people, it’s so sad.😩

[@Lstar07]

I’m currently dealing with this for the second time but in a new workplace (was outed in the other workplace). I’ve been here for almost two years, but this guy (who I spoke with pretty much everyday) recently found out about my sexuality. I don’t care what he thinks of me, but I wish he’d stop making it evident that he hates me. It affects the operation. If I have to worry about where this guy is when I’m moving about, I can’t get my job done in a timely manner. I was spoken to about moving a bit slower than usual, so I had to tell my supervisor and my boss what’s going on. I told them I don’t want to get anyone in trouble; I more so needed them to be aware. It’s so annoying to be “trapped” in a building for 10 hours with someone who hates you.

[@Not-Ap]

9:09 The answer is yes and there's nothing you can do about it. People will talk because people are people and most people are not nice. The quicker you accept this the happier you'll be. People commit many isms on a daily basis because most people are hypocritical bigots who all hate dislike each other for varying reasons and mostly related to innate things. The answer is to simply grow a thicker skin because you can't change other people only how you react to them.

[@eawillis]

Did you work at Providence, Emmanuel, OHSU, Adventist, or some other Portland area hospital? I used to live in the Portland area. I now live 250 miles east of Portland (99320). When I return to Portland, I remember how much I DON'T miss the rain and how much I DON'T miss the traffic, especially the traffic. What city are you living in now?

[@teardropsdude]

My new job is at a college and there is zero tolerance for any type of harassment toward anyone on campus. Unfortunately, I know this is not always practiced else where. We actually have trainings on what to do if anyone is feeling harassed, especially if it's "gay" related. I definitely share a similar past and worked jobs where there were more than enough inappropriate things being shared. I hope things get better on your side. And things will get better..... trust that

[@donaldstanfield8862]

Awesome, equality should be the norm, hopefully, soon it will be in place!

[@cary4603]

It can be rough. There is so much of my own life that is not shared because I realize how much people today rely on their preconceived notions of who you are. It is rare to find people who will discuss stuff, regard you as an individual who may have something to contribute and take the time to consider you past their stereotypes of people. I can see where this gets rough when you don’t have people to trust/confide in. Even with the liberty I have at work with my coworkers, some days are rough because I do not really have a person to really open up to about my thoughts and relax with. Having a companion it’ seems allows for the edge of life to be dulled. I realized that when I had a pen pal and I waited for their returned responses. The day I got the first response really brightened my day with excitement. I could barely not talk about it and I am in my 30s. Lol. But seriously having someone to be real with seems to be a genuine factor in life. I believe the word is companionship. Having people who are close in your life that you can genuinely live your life with and explore life with and be open and vulnerable with to heal from life with has such a value. I can see myself just looking forward to being able to relax with someone who is willing to hear me and I can hear from. Share in understanding even if beliefs are not the same, but having an understanding of the other perspective. These days that is honestly what I am looking for and am considering how far I will go to find that kind of relationship. I had an uncle who used to take annual trips from Europe with his “male friend” to my family home in the island I lived on growing up. I saw their friendship and marveled at how they did stuff together compared to the rest of my family that seemed so splintered. This uncle had found a “friend” to enjoy life with and explore the world with and that had marked me. I still yearn to find that. But those are just a few of my thoughts. What are your thoughts on this Matt?

[@MattMoore83]

Totally agree -- We need that connection (Companion) to open up to. I have a best friend I can do this with. It is amazing and I do not take it for granted!!! I got lucky and met him in college. My family is isolated and do not have friends which did not teach me about companionship growing up. But I am different from them now. :)

[@marth9660]

Really liked this video Matt. I’m so pleased your turning out a bit more content again - it’s always great to see/hear you. I’m in Europe and I’m not dating we don’t have homophobia (including violence) because we do...tons of it. But I’ve noticed over the past ten years Eve; that workplace behaviour has really shifted. What was considered just humorous or not serious banter between people is now no longer tolerated or just doesn’t happen if it could be considered homophobic. Even in blue collar jobs. I’m not saying it never happens but it’s not normalised. There’s a huge construction project near to where I live and a few weeks ago in a local supermarket at lunchtime I saw one construction worker (tall, like 6’2) wearing a yellow vest etc standing in front of a glass food cabinet selecting something to eat. Another construction guy, equally tall, came up behind him, slid his hand around the other guys waist and kissed him on the back of the neck. It was a really tender moment, not play acting or messing about. The other guy didn’t flinch (neither did anyone else in the busy supermarket who would have seen it) and they carried on choosing their lunches. (I swear to God this isn’t a fantasy....it really happened). And it got me thinking how that little thing signified some real change....maybe not everywhere for everyone but it would have been unimaginable just a few years ago. Years ago I knew this guy who was/is really “flamboyant” that worked in a biscuit factory (cookie plant in American I guess 😄) who told me he never got any harassment and was totally accepted on the factory floor. He thought being really flamboyant made him more visible and more accepted because he was closer to what his coworkers thought of (at that time) as “gay” so were less threatened by it. Now I’d not know if the two construction guys were gay or not but it gave me a small clue as to how slowly acceptance (not tolerance .... I never want to be “tolerated”) has percolated through our society even though there’s a long long way to go and a lot of people still take huge risks if they reveal who they are.

[@MattMoore83]

That is a dream come true to see two construction works do that. Things are changing!

[@Dsepshun]

It's definitely great to see a full video of you again, Matt! You have definitely been missed. I do follow you on Instagram but it's not quite the same. Take care of yourself!

[@sky4m3]

I've never had much interest in what people think of me tbh. I'm a little older than you but even when I was younger, I found it almost comforting to challenge conversations like that and put the person off guard. Actually, humor has been my friend for a long time. Even when I was bullied as we all have been at some point for being gay. You build up a thick skin and fight back with witty words. I've yet to run across someone who has nasty comments to say about me who couldn't be set in their place with a nice zinger. Now that I'm a bit older, I almost consider it giving them credit or validating their comments by considering them. I just don't have the time or interest anymore to give af if they think something is "nasty". There are gay pastors, there are gay churches. This isn't 1942. That line of thinking on the other hand.....I'm in IT as well. There are those who should just be stuck in the dark in a basement and put in front of a computer and never allowed to interact with humans as they zero personal skillz. Glad I stumbled on your channel. You perked my interest. And you're not pale white or back eyes so go figure. *grin*

[@MattMoore83]

Hahaha. Your comment gave me a good chuckle with IT stuff.. I feel your Mitch. Thanks for finding me buddy and look forward to more comments!!

[@jcromero3]

Nice video Matt! Some people are just ignorant and it shows. You brought up the experiences of straight passing versus non-straight passing gays. I think it will depend on the situation but in the end it's tough to hear people talk about/use offensive language especially if you are part of the demographic. My biggest concern in that situation is always someone's mental health and how it makes them feel. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

[@aaronw7602]

Somehow, despite working in a small town with a lot of older people, I haven't encountered that too much and the people that know about me have all been very respectful and accepting. I have occasionally heard like "that's so gay" and things like that but I don't call it out even though I don't like it. I have had a guy say some very racist things about people we work with and I took it up to a supervisor and eventually the guys above him so it's like I feel like if something did happen where someone was being directly and openly homophobic, I know I could report it and be taken seriously.

[@k2dfire]

I also experienced that moment where you begin to defend the lgbt community, other people withdraw their homophobia and not say anything at all. It's extremely uncomfortable knowing what they think about it and how they feel, and just paint a whole mask behind it. It's hard to tell them that being presented with new information doesnt mean you're wrong and that it's okay to change your opinion on it, but they're set in their own reality to think that their way of thinking is the only correct way. I think a lot of workplaces experience that too. Working in the entertainment business backstage, it's the same way. Sometimes, it's also these same people that dont get to where they want

[@jackx917]

I’ve seen your vids from a few years ago and now, and you seem much more confident, and at ease with yourself today. As far as the workplace, your HR dept should have protections for you as a gay man. No matter whether you’re straight/ gay/ bi/ trans the same rules apply in the workplace. Last word, “To thine own self be true!”.

[@MattMoore83]

Well said Jack!

[@mleeriley3977]

Great video Matt....Keep it up Love ya ! You speak for many!

[@dennis-qu7bs]

I always wear a rainbow pin or wristband to work, mainly to educate my colleagues

[@greg5658]

I wish I could go back in time and deal with the homophobia on jobs I've had. Then, 20 years or more ago, I was afraid to confirm i was gay, even though my coworkers got wind of it. I was basically afraid of being fired, or being sabatoged (like given shitty hours and duties, passed up for promotions, etc) so I chose to ignore the comments and focus on learning the job and doing well. After awhile they saw I was not a quitter and a trouper. I learned you have to be determined to survive in this world. Today, I would have set boundaries and documented things on paper, and gone to Human Resources, threaten a lawyer, etc.

[@JoxMax-s1j]

Bosses at work aren’t as outward about it. A homophonic boss now usually will find SOMETHING about you that you’re insecure about. Something they’ve discovered you’ve struggled with, and that’s their new ammo. They gotta get all that negative energy out & they’ll play on those heart strings.

[@ChristianF15cher]

Out and loud bisexual at my workplace. Every single one of us joke about sodomy and gay shit; I’m definitely the one who jokes about it the most to be quite honest. Wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m smart enough to know when people hate me and absolutely NO ONE in that shop hates me. Best job I’ve ever had with the best crew I’ve ever worked with!

[@StephenHartHartTalks]

it is an imporant subject Matt, and thanks for shining a light on it. xoxo

[@AmbientShades]

Always liked watching your vids. Glad to see you return.

[@benjamintocchi7909]

I find most people tend towards the ignorant side than actually being bigots. That said, also experienced real negativity when turning down a gay coworker.

[@sage4nowty129]

Yes. There is a long history of gay men being the butt of jokes, unfortunately.

[@ChristianF15cher]

Jokes about butts will never not be funny!

[@jamillopez1204]

Answering to your question... in my experiences I had dealt with a indirect homophobia, I’ve been out for a long time and I’m very friendly with everybody and sometimes I tell personal things about me to the girls that I work with, and a various occasions it turns to be a problem, they start acting weird trying to obstruct me, stress me out or seeing as vulnerable by not talking to me when I am nice to them, and never did nothing to them, one this girl started to get jealous for a guy that was my friend at work we got along pretty good, and then she though we did something together saw she stopped talking and started to make my life complicated at work... I ended up to go to HR cause I couldn’t anymore and I wasn’t finding a job, beside that my manager started talking to me so tough in respectful way but he was like passive aggressive to me if that’s how I can call it... and it always they try to start being rude for no reason, cause they know I’m cool... but recently I got a situation and I chose to get angry for the first and course that b*tch out...

[@MACGWEEDORE]

Hi Matt. I can relate to the context of your video. I found overall your video that you were being very analytical. This is very common trait in gay people whom have experienced homophobia personally, professionally or publicly. I have and still do from 12 years of age to the age of 49. I live in Ireland which has made great progress in equality but unfortunately some homophobia exists and is expressed daily.

[@MattMoore83]

I am sorry to hear that. I lived in Portland, Oregon and that is a progressive city and homophobia was there as well. I think it is everywhere! :( Thank you for the analytical compliment! That is crucial in my career! :)

[@kenfred9699]

I am fortunate to work for a pharmaceutical company that has zero tolerance for that kind of behavior. They actually celebrate gay pride month. But if I was in your situation, I guess I would probably have a one on one conversation with someone that caused me stress like that. Most homophobes are cowards unless they are in a group of what they perceive to be like minded people. That is my thought from a distance, hard to say when your not in a particular situation.

[@donaldstanfield8862]

Zero tolerance should be the law of our land, but we're getting there soon, I hope!

[@joecvetetic5675]

I was in Coast guard..encountered some problems

[@vaeItaja]

At work my teamleader won't shake hands with a guy because he suspects that he is gay.

[@videovoodoo]

Been there! I'm a "boomer" that has survived the AIDS crisis, Anita Bryant, The Moral Majority, Prop8, and all of the publicly accepted persecution of LGBT's throughout the 70's, 80's and 90's. I am like you, as in "not the obvious gay," so I have had to sit quietly and listen to all that homophobic crap at work, both where it was acceptable and not acceptable by company policy. I learned the hard way, that complaining through official channels can have negative repercussions in subtle and obvious ways. In the earlier days of my life, I had no choice but keep quiet. Even when I knew I could stop it without repercussion, I remained silent so as not to cause trouble for others, and if I am to be totally honest, my silence was partially motivated by some inner shame and homophobia of my own. At some point I finally had enough, and decided that I deserved to work and live in an environment that I felt comfortable in, just like everyone else does. I have never made a formal complaint about anyone regarding their personal behavior, but instead handled it directly, in a non-confrontational way. I simply tell the offending person in a very straight forward way, that I find their behavior offensive, and I would appreciate that they not do it in my presence. Period. There is NO reason to come out to them or give ANY explanation whatsoever. Most times the offending person was embarrassed and very apologetic, and the behavior stopped immediately with only positive results. It's no different than telling people you don't like racist jokes or comments. To my surprise, I have never had a bad reaction from anyone I called out. By simply stating that YOU personally are offended by their behavior, rather than saying the the person themself is offensive or wrong, it greatly decreases the possibility of conflict. You have to stand up for yourself. You owe it to yourself. If it doesn't stop, then you may have to choose more drastic steps. You handled the situation well with the boys in line. We don't have to put up with this bullshit in our life. If we don't face it directly, it will never change.

[@videovoodoo]

Oh, and as for what is going on or being said behind your back, f*ck worrying about that sh*t. People will ALWAYS say things behind your back, it happens to EVERYBODY, so don't even give it a thought.

[@iseewood]

Yep, when I was in the closet, heard homophobic, racist, sexist remarks all the time. Now that I’m “out”, I only racist and sexist remarks. People in this country are so awesome.

[@J35u5Ch4i5t]

Unless they're directed at your race/sex, why would you worry about the racist and sexist remarks?

[@oquefizhoje]

It is not about make fun of gays. its about culture. Some communities have wrong messages about anything. There always be some kind of prejudice. I thought people have fear from all that could unbalance the community. Maybe it is a natural defense mechanism...? This is true on workplace. People have fear about the unknown. They look at you not as a human being. They think you are different from them and they choose to step aside. This was worst in the past and now are better... much better... but unfortunately we have a long path to walk along. Hugs Matt.

[@joeym5355]

I can't believe Roanoke is still this behind in society . I'm moving back really soon . I'm wondering the same thing do I need to be out or just don't say Anything . Its a shame people are so jaded that they are still stuck on this topic .

[@MattMoore83]

It's gettin there. Hahaha.

[@donaldstanfield8862]

Incredible a superior would call you the f-word, even if it was a while back, that type of language has always been wrong. It sounds like you did just the right thing in that instance, though, he got the message it was unacceptable!

[@bootstraphookers8690]

No matter the thoughts swirling in your mind on any subject, what do you know to be fair and true? That should be the foundation to work from. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly and justly. At work, people will say what they want regardless of what I think. So as long as I don't hear about it, they can say what they please about me. I have openly, yet respectfully, complimented straight male co-workers more than once and been thanked in reply. However, I am probably typically masculine for a man, and more than once heard peoples' surprise when they learn I'm gay. I don't wave the rainbow flag as I walk through life, but don't apologise for my sexuality either. For example: Once, I was asked how I handled the juice when eating some fruit. I deadpan replied that it doesn't make sense to eat fruit if you won't swallow the juice. That's not quite what was said but it's close enough. If you stick to the facts and don't shove your ego in people's faces and speak honestly, it disarms any novelty/curiosity/ insecurity being projected onto you. Of course, that is assuming you live in a tolerant, free country and work for an employer with an equal opportunity and anti-discrimination policy. One other time, I was targeted and mildly intimidated in a supermarket queue by a teen yob who was taller and stockier than me. I'm six foot one. He wasn't deliberately being homophobic, just being a yob. A few years later, he started where I worked, and I was tasked with training him. We both remembered each other. I didn't mention a thing. After about 15 minutes, he broke, and apologised for how he treated me in the past, adding he now had a baby boy and was more mature. I replied that we all make mistakes or act out of ignorance at times. As long as we learn from our mistakes and realise the impact we have on those around us. I added that I was glad he was more understanding now, as it would be a shame if his son turned out to be gay and felt he couldn't turn to his dad for advice or help. The look on the guy's face said he'd never thought of that. Which is why I said it. I think you have the right to call someone out on homophobic comments in the work place, but it depends on the situation. It depends on the sort of person saying it, their position in the work force, what they actually said, your position in the work force, how you respond, and your choice to stick to your guns or not. As you reap what you sow and it might cost you. But the philosophy I have outlined has worked well for me and those I interact with. I hope this comment helps.

[@m06j09r91s]

I understand, I had problems in my mind with that uncertainty, since few people analyze things seriously and cling to the stereotype, in this case, homophobia. You just have to be who you are, be yourself; relax your mind, do not analyze something silly because it has no validity and you will not get to anything except a headache. If you want things to be worth it, just be a good person and a good professional. Life has no instructions for things to go your way. I like your attitude, to not think so much about stupid comments you need concrete actions and not get carried away by anger, concrete actions such as saying it directly and making yourself respected, keeping calm. The world is homophobic, because the world lives in silence with the issue of homosexuality, unlike racism, homosexuality is not seen in the color of the skin and that is precisely why everyone is silent and they do wrong, because if they makes it invisible, the more prejudices there will be in society. If people were honest with their feelings, the freer we would be and if you are honest with yourself as a person (including your sexual orientation) valuable people will accept you, don't worry, you are strong, I know you can.

[@Katz_fpvchannel]

And yes they are saying it behind your back now.

[@BevvRatBites]

I wanna be a "thing" that sounds hilarious.

[@FabiWe91]

If you really want to understand why all of this is going on at your workplace, I would recommend you to read a book that opened my eyes (a teacher lend it to me for my master thesis about lack of gay representation in touristic advertisement): "Justice and the Politics of Difference" by Iris Marion Young.

[@jake2123]

Love this

[@davidlp6510]

Much like yourself I don't give a femininity vibe, so no one assumes that I am gay at work. That is NOT necessarily a good thing. My boss's boss brought his granddaughter to meet me and they were fully expecting me to take her out on a date. I had to do so fancy tap dance to cool everything out. Unlike you, I tend to solve matters a bit faster by showing force. At work one guy asked me if I were gay in front of his friends in a way that if I were to admit it would be perceived as a put down. My reply was a resounding "why, do you to suck me off?". It was a total silence and his friends started laughing at him. I walked away peacefully, and he never bothered me again.

[@robslams2324]

smokin boink pack loud af bish i know you see it...

[@HACUNA89]

That's a good color hoodie, dark yellow 🟡

[@natechua1584]

You dont deserved to be treated like that😔 i wiss i could hug you you right now😊

[@joecvetetic5675]

Where does Matt live

[@ukoowkolli4905]

It's true, if someone knows you are gay, you get less likely to hear stupid comments. It's not all homophobia, there is also ignorance and basic stupidity. If someone knows you are gay, and still say stuff like that, it's just to hurt your feelings. And that is on a different level of stupidity/homophobia than the accidental slurs. I usually ignore the accidental stupidities, if that person don't know I'm gay. But from that point on I don't think so high of them. They lose points.

[@asparra]

I feel your pain

[@tamariamontgomery5654]

Some of that is definitely sexual harassment. People can usually see your facial expression and already know it's not appropriate, but literally saying 'I'm not sure that's appropriate' can help. I mean. It is work. They're supposed to be working, not reenacting middle school.

[@allmic101]

Violent angry matt sounds hot af 😍 makes me a temporary bottom😅 Sometimes people just say homophobic things but they don't mean it directly at us. Like if two straights are fighting and one says "your gay" he's not homophobic he's just trying to make insult the other guy . I had a best friend in highschool that always said "well that's gay" when something bad happened . She's bi and is not homophobic , but still she would say that . I give people a pass on their homophobic comments only if they don't know what they are saying or are trying to get at another straight person.

[@reverseart1130]

I think people should be corrected even so. An insult between straight friend is fuel into the fire of homophobic behaviour. the use of the word gay is due an update if it used by gay or straight people to describe something bad. What do you think?

[@allmic101]

@@reverseart1130 I fully agree! But to correct straight people on everything you would have to correct people all day forever 😅I'd be exhausted.i understand you but I'm different on that , I only check people if it's serious .

[@reverseart1130]

@@allmic101 then you are a star✌️🥰🎆 and I know exactly what you mean. It can be frustratingly exhausting!

[@rodolfoerdogan4983]

Hetero male arrogance

[@jamesclark6409]

You've become more mature in the years i e watched ya

[@Greenterror]

😻

[@mikenelson1624]

👍✨💫🥺

[@peterlauk4213]

You're awesome and handsome. Your videos have helped me. I'm a psychologist BTW.

[@rainfog1]

can i be your boyfriend... :)

[@jaxmlarker]

Hello

[@MattMoore83]

Hi!

[@jaxmlarker]

@@MattMoore83 😊

[@Velvet-Sunshine.]

MUST SEE THIS NOW. I'm not gay, but I was faced with love from a straight man, so I chose love. I can confidently tell you I'm not gay and neither is he, but as I watch your video I would fall back on God and admit that gay is wrong and point to Sodom and Gomorrah but explain that God gives us free will and to break that is a cardinal sin, the same is true of somebody who denigrates the principles of the Bible and speaks out holier than thou and judges others in the face of God. This is an abomination to judge others against the teaching of Jesus. Tell your homophobe that God gives him free will to choose the ways of the devil. As far as ever telling anyone in any workplace your sexual preference, this will destroy you. As you know, Many gays commit suicide.

[@ChristianF15cher]

This is sad and tragic. You had a chance to find love and happiness with a human being and you threw it away because of religious delusions. I’m so glad I’m not a Christian anymore.

[@Velvet-Sunshine.]

@@ChristianF15cher Your wrong!!! Really, maybe you better see it from a straights perspective. KZbin usually blocks links, but I'm going to try it anyway. Going from straight to gay at the 6:00 Minute mark. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZPUYZuumNWljas And then 6 weeks later and a million dollars in my bank account this happens. kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZrSaJiGgrGokLs