Homophobic Abuse in Public

[@Epoch-vu8cj]

Yea I've had some abuse in public which is always dangerous because I love to fight lol

[@scilines]

I think safety is a legit concern and I’m glad it’s being discussed. As a woman who dates women, there’s more than one safety vulnerability bc neither of us are men. I am at least always armed with pepper spray or a taser bc I want to be prepared. Sad to have to think of that but I feel I need to at least try to protect my partner.

[@pauljack7170]

the agressivness over gay women is less evident than between str8 and gay male .. as if a gay woman is socially upgraded and gay men are downgraded might be that the fact of being top is better than being bottom ? sometimes i wonder if is such a primitive mental reaction real male. f..k feminine male is ...bottomed what about these. who like both positions ?

[@srb717]

Well said. And I particularly like the comment about feeling safe due to Keegans size and demeanour and probably how people perceive him (not someone to mess with). I can relate to this a lot.

[@friarmoe]

Thank you so much for sharing the richness of your conversation

[@hugshoney3409]

That's true, Keegan, and there are so many dream crushers out there who love to tell you how your life is going to be, and will be a stumbling block to you if they realize that you are going contrary to their opinion and belief.

[@michaelp5790]

Sadly, men of Keegan's build could also experience acts of violence. It's a world nowadays where we all need to take good care, and take care of each other.

[@chrisn2135]

The big question you should be asking is about abuse from other gay guys. Largely the only people that have had a problem with me is other gay guys, and i hate to use stereotypes but its cos i dont walk around with a big rainbow sign. i worked as a barman for 20 odd years and there are people today who say "oh i never knew you wuz gay". "well i served you drinks for 20 years and i didnt know you were gay, whats your point? But its always turned intooh youre not gay enough, or "straight acting". which is a term i hate...

[@MicharlMcGarry-pn1fd]

High school was a nightmare... I got hit on by "straigh😊t"guys a lot.

[@MicharlMcGarry-pn1fd]

I like you guys...

[@jamieakahenry]

We have daughter and the amount of looks and judemental stares is ridiculous. We are also a mixed race couple. 🙄

[@Foggydays-b8z]

This is a very interesting conversation. Im quite fem and have had quite a bit of abuse over the years. Being shouted at a few times. But always by people in cars who then drove off. For me its balancing being proud of myself , but at the same time dealing with the practicality of living in a semi rural area with its fair share of backward inbred morons. Being very careful at night, at least trying to stay in front of some cameras. I gave up on pubs years ago. Drinking seemed to inflame the slightest homophobia in people who were normally OK. At least if your having a night out get a cab.

[@Wilibear1]

I came out aged 13 in 1987 after watching Mannequin at the cinema so I was visible from a very early age. Years ago when it was difficult to come out and most men were in the closet being gay was about equality,togetherness,freedom,but as time has gone on and it’s become easier to be openly gay, people have changed it seems to be about being over the top, super bitchy, glamorous and actually a lot of gay people I’d say think they’re better than straight people. Gay people have completely forgotten the roots and reasons of visibility and being gay and turned it into a spectacle and an eyesore I’m all for drag queens,super fem guys,super masculine guys being loud and fabulous but their has to be another side to things,how are these glam types behaving whilst the camera is off Nobody’s cleaning the toilet in a feather boa and sling backs but if you are you don’t have to be a complete bitch whilst you’re doing it. There’s a total lack of kindness in the gay community and it seems to be getting worse and I think that’s a small part of what’s causing many countries in the world in normally democratic countries to start voting right wing - there’s way too much in your face gayness nowadays- I’m not talking about representation which is needed I’m talking people who think their shit don’t stink and are way too much and it’s everywhere on social media especially Things are definitely changing but maybe things need to change We need more decent guys like you 2 just living your lives like decent blokes

[@pauljack7170]

u need to be visible because u wants to hook.. to show u might eventually be interested st8 lives in a closet too 😎😜👍 st8 does not need to wear «i am str8 »badge especially if he is married engaged or free but love adventures like all humans do ! nobody likes flipping q....s !

[@Wilibear1]

The worst abuse I’ve ever had as a gay man is from other gay men The gay men I’ve met have for the most part been bitchy unkind materialistic sex obsessed judgemental and completely wrapped up in looks and body image,if you don’t look like them you don’t fit in. I’m by no means saying all gay men are like this,but a lot are. I unlike you two don’t fit into the category of super attractive gay men which is another layer of privilege you guys have Don’t get me wrong I’m not lacking in confidence and I have personality and charisma in droves but I’ve always been average looking. I’ve had several long term relationships but I tend to stay away from the gay scene as when I was younger i found it very predatory and cliquey and wasn’t treated well I currently have 1 very good gay friend of 10 years and a few other close straight friends but no family and I’m extremely lonely at times I’m a super kind fun person but because I don’t look a certain way or have a certain body type I’m not accepted which leads to further stress and anxiety

[@thomase4743]

Totally agree ! The sole fact of being a member of the lgbt community doesn't make anyone inherently a saint ! I would tend to attribute these characterstics to a lot a gay men I've met as well ... I think what is difficult is the realization that the gay community is actually not a safe haven at all ...

[@Wilibear1]

@@thomase4743 I agree,I’d love to meet some kind decent guys not for sex or a relationship just in a friendship capacity but in your 40s it becomes so difficult to meet new people and make new friends

[@pauljack7170]

@@Wilibear1 why r u looking for a gay friendship ? i am bi and had shortly years ago gay friends for gym cruising together but after a while we mutually rejected because - i am bi - because they live in a social ghetto so now since 40 years have only St8 friends and gay encounter for sex and is ok gay problematic is of no interest for me nor my life interest them

[@Wilibear1]

please get in touch it would be great to get to know you and build a friendship

[@pauljack7170]

@@Wilibear1 hi thanks 😜👍 where do u live ?

[@michaeljohndennis2231]

Anyway, who would possibly want to attack Keegan - he’s like a gorgeous big cuddly teddy bear - he reminds me of the gorgeous straight ally Ben Cohen, who like Keegan and Gareth Thomas, are rugby players - I could easily imagine Keegan and Joel cuddling up together, as Joel has a smokin’ hot bod as well 🥰😍😘😘

[@dubon9999]

Gay men together forever ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@pauljack7170]

all together exclusively gay makes an apartheid ghetto !! u isolate yourself and reject others not the other way round .. gays reject non gays ! this jas to be adopted by both gays and not w« we are all the same at love making so what i do is my business and has not to affect our social relationships »

[@MeadeSkeltonMusic]

Jesus can deliver them from that lifestyle

[@2FeCarbon]

I wonder if its wrong for a effeminate guy or masculine gal to pretend to be the opposite of who they are in public for fear they might be targeted because they have gay affects that draw attention to what might be violent homophobes? Is that living in fear or self preservation?

[@waywardstitch8604]

There are also straight people who celebrate diversity.🖐🏼😊 One lesbian friend eventually came out to me and said she had sensed for a while that I was accepting. (I had no idea she was lesbian until she mentioned it, but I assured her I was totally fine with it.) Another longtime friend who I strongly suspect is gay has not come out and it saddens me that he feels a need to be so unnecessarily guarded with me. It seems to me his gayness often peeks out (slips out?), every now and then, and then he quickly tucks it out of sight again. This has been going on for at least 10 years. 😐

[@Paul2377]

It's almost an innate thing with some gay people to keep it hidden. I'm out to some people, but not all. The reason I'm not out to some is because deep down I think they might react negatively. They probably wouldn't, but the risk is enough to stop me.

[@pauljack7170]

lesbian as « upgrade » to virility are less detectable than gays that downgrade to feminine gestures personally as flexible i am very itchy to whatever sign voice inflection flipping hands of gay males it irks me !

[@waywardstitch8604]

"It's almost an inbate thing with some gay people to keep it hidden." I've often suspected it was a conscious thing, and a lot of hard work. So thanks for reminding me of this. 👍🏼

[@stuarttideswell2786]

Until one of the main causes of homopobia - literal religion - is directly tackled, openly laughed at and criticised etc then it will continue. Literal religion is a very dangerous thing. A friend of mine was killed by a group of illegal Islamic immigrants years ago simply for him being gay. His death caused me to look into literal religion, especially Islam. Since then I've tried to never pretend to respect anyones beliefs is they are literal religionists etc. To many people are frightened of criticising people believing total rubbish, especially Islam - it's time people just laughed at such things openly. If someone us religious and isn't hateful then obviously don't criticise them, but people need to stop bring polite about harmful ideologies