a decade of failed experiments (Dwarf Fortress)

[@EmperorSmith]

I remember one statue in particular. Whenever I embark, I always build a statue on the site of where the wagon came to a stop. I consider it a sacred place - for this is where my Dwarves decided they would end their long journey and begin the construction of a new fortress - it's my own personal tradition that I do on every fort. This one fortress was maybe the happiest fort I had ever built. Every need catered too, every dwarf given their own individual attention to satisfy every need they could have - and the fort was happy (I don't use mist generators). Except for one Dwarf - Kob, my resident mechanic. No matter what I tried, no matter how much special attention I gave them, they were always angry - the only 'red' dwarf in a society of green. He seethed with internal rage. Kob was pretty much the only source of unhappiness in the entire fort, as he would tantrum and assault his fellow dwarves. Then one day, I followed him, as he began tantrumming in my lower lava-forges, he ran from the bottom of my fort, right to the surface - and toppled my Sacred Wagon-Site Statue. If Kob wanted to anger the gods - he had succeeded. There was absolutely nothing he could have done that would have genuinely angered me - except topple that statue... now I couldn't be 100% sure exactly where the Wagon-site truly was. So great was my anger, that I couldn't even think of a suitable punishment that would be commensurate with the crime he had committed. I now have a permanent dislike for any Dwarf named Kob. He had basically cursed his name. Here's to Kob - the most loathsome Dwarf that I ever encountered.

[@Kyrkby]

7:58 Maybe the monsters were the friends we made alo- just kidding, it's you. You're the monster.

[@swaggertmcdankledoo1572]

"Who had the misfortune of being peasants, and nearby" was such a raw line lol

[@jagobot1487]

Rishi sunak to the whole uk

[@hulaghalahg]

I’ve had the were/vampire curse happen several times on accident. All times were dwarven children toppling altars (not statues) in temples. They were constantly throwing tantrums after being traumatized by seeing the decaying body of a sibling or parent.

[@RedHawk.Sokotra]

Same here, except they were adults... I had a bunch of altars in a large room with little sections marked off as a temple for each deity per altar. By chance, a couple of angry dwarves toppled altars and were turned into were creatures.

[@Veselin_Angelov]

How romantic of the game that emotional trauma turns dwarves of volatile personalities into calm and tolerant characters! Well... Even though the vampire creation experiment failed, another discovery was made! One of no lesser significance: The first ever Dwarf Rehab Facility!

[@MrSigmaer]

Im so proud of this scientific community!

[@notoriousectotherm]

Literally me

[@Ancusohm]

The grand tradition of doing terrible things to dwarves to see what happens!

[@arglebargle42]

"And so I found his relatives in the fortress and..." So much Dwarfy science going on here.

[@SamuelCatsy]

The dwarves emerge from the statue room changed, spouting gospel like Joshua Graham from New Vegas.

[@jackfishthe6th373]

I feel like one of the problems was that you had too many statues in one room which may have further elevated their positive moods more than you wanted. Perhaps restricting a dwarfs access to their monastery room until they are angry and enter a tantrum could make the difference? This way it may make it easier to have them get angry.

[@mpik97]

Low-quality statues would also help.

[@jackfishthe6th373]

@@mpik97 Good idea!

[@SirChris314]

I suspect also that living in a temple and spending all their time worshipping is what caused the stress changes to be positive

[@mpik97]

@@SirChris314 maybe you could create 1x1 temple zones that only contain the statue. Then, they shouldn't be able to worship.

[@wizardgoblin13]

This is probably the easiest least aggressive way necromancers make their experiments

[@brad1426]

One of the best things about this game is that the results of your experiments actually had the opposite result despite how much time you spent trying to control your dorfs lol. I love it so much, they persevered against the abuses of their very creator!!!

[@JS-mh9uu]

Every Dwarf i have had cursed (about 4 of them) Toppled an Alter in a temple. All became were beasts or died almost immediately after that.

[@Hannah_The_Heretic]

thank you for gracing us with a longer video than usual.

[@sheffplaysgames]

Now this is true dwarven science. Documenting both failures and successes.

[@Michaelonyoutub]

You should probably manually designate the single tile the statue is on as a temple, while leaving all of the other tiles the dwarves can walk on as non temple tiles, if you didn't already do that. If a dwarf is in a temple, that can allow them to fulfil their religious needs and social needs if anyone else is around, which will make them not as likely to throw a tantrum. From what the wiki entry you showed said, it seems that only the statue needs to be in a temple zone, not necessarily the tile the dwarf is standing on when they topple it.

[@weeaboobaguette3943]

1) Get a vampire 2) make a 3x3 hole 3) Upright spike traps at bottom 4) Pit vampire in hole 5) flood hole until 7/7 in all 3x3 6) Level on repeat for the spike traps until all nine tiles of the hole are "water laced with blood" 7) put well above hole 8) Restrict alcohol access* 9) Wait until dwarves are thirsty enough to drink from well* 10) have a vampire fortress

[@jamjalopie9286]

Step 1 is a bit awkward, and home grown organic vampires just have a little extra spice

[@gummybread]

Step 1 of getting a vampire. Get a vampire.

[@alefor72]

_hoodie hair doesn't really care about anything anymore_

[@jackfishthe6th373]

We have entered the Hoodie Hair Dark Timeline and it's FUN

[@EmperorBeef]

This is an AM from "I have no mouth" levels of cruel god shenanigans

[@yobgodababua1862]

Where else can the phrase "who worshipped both marmots and death" roll so naturally off the tongue?

[@goodmj]

Probably my favorite dwarf fortress tuber. Love everything you do!

[@RobertBlair]

What about slabs engraved for the dead? I had a few versions back where slab toppling caused number of conversions. And no need for a temple

[@TanToRza]

I would love to see your full playthroughs doing these crazy things

[@daklr2501]

accidentally creating the perfect dward stress training room instead of causing them to break mentally lol

[@Corner5tone]

Dude, this was amazing on so many levels. Hats off to your persistence and storytelling ability. You'd definitely be able to use those skills commercially.

[@Minotour98]

I'm finally early to you Hoodie. Thanks for your vids, your voice is my favorite background sound, and your stories are maniacal. :)

[@Flusap]

Thats so awesome, you should give it another shot and have a living collection of werebeasts

[@TheKilgoretroutfan]

oh my god this was like a fucking O Henry story

[@Scrumpetsheep]

next time make every inch of the fort a temple and cover it in statues.

[@chubbymoth5810]

Removing a temple or denying a petition will get some zealots juices boiling. Locking a temple door may have the desired effect. I've noticed a far higher tolerance in this version.

[@cassandrep.destroismaisons3207]

Have you considered a career at Vault-Tech?

[@RMadaraPlay]

You could try and get a floor grate on the level below the well, this should prevent creatures getting in the second room, also make a dabbling dwarf make the statues, you can still do this!

[@ejohnson1767]

Did anyone mention putting grates on wells to keep creatures from swimming up the well and into the room?

[@madhijz-spacewhale240]

In adventure mode all you have to do is just roll the divination dice twice instead of once and a god will damn you instantly.

[@meowsicle7463]

I had a dwarf throw a tantrum and topple an altar, which caused the first god cursing instance i ever saw. I wonder if its an altar rather than a statue.

[@CatGravityWell]

These jackasses never tantrum when you need them to. I tried to make a metal-dupe room in a golden above-ground ziggurat, but none of the dwarves, elves or lizardmen I threw in could be buggered. At least that fortress was prosperous anyways. I mean, once you disregard the horde of clowns locked in the third cavern.

[@jonathanprisbrey9473]

It was not a complete failure, you found a way to make super dwarfs.

[@AtocStowwe]

I feel like making a torture room over food reserves is one of the most dwarf things you can do in this game.

[@TehCakeIzALie1]

Honestly, -torture- science is the best part of Dwarf Fortress.

[@martinabancens9633]

You should make a lacking temple, so they are annoyed and place a lever or instrument in the meeting area. Idk why but they love toppling those. It doesn't matter what is destroyed as long as it's providing value to the temple. I had 3 vampires and a weresomething in my actual playthrough... Gotta say tho, I was not looking for them.

[@rottenroadkill3311]

Please keep this experiment going!

[@mikelezhnin8601]

question / dumb idea: what if you make a minecart track leading directly to a statue in a temple, then load a dwarf in it and try to topple a statue using a minecart? would that work perhaps? another option I see is using some contraption to drop the dwarf from the floor above onto the statue, might do something as well.

[@Mrkubikx]

I recently tried the same thing Tortured a mind of a dwarf to turn for a curse It didn't work because tantrums did not toppled the statues. But I discovered that throwing altars also work After I added an altar to the room the dwarf could do something inside the temple during tantrum And this triggered curses :3

[@Mrkubikx]

@hoodiehair hope you see this comment because I recently found this way and it works! Quickest way to achieve this. Have a Dwarf die and haunt a specific place in a fortress. Have a Dwarf or group of dwarfs to be really stressed out by seeing this ghost You can traumatize them in other ways for good measure (like making them sit in a miasma room or watch their pets, loved ones die and rot in front of them but seeing a Ghost was almost always the best way. When they are Haggard or worse set them in a Temple with Altars and Statues. Keep them as close to the Altars as possible. Wait for Tantrums The best thing is that there is a side pop up about a God Cursing a Dwarf. If the dwarf becomes a Vampire it will be known from the start if you dont see them as a vampire after a curse they will become a werecreature during an eclipse. (for some reason when they become a werebeast the game adds like 100 years to the character after they transform back even when they were cursed in the fortress and they had a previous age.)

[@Mrkubikx]

Also if you want others to turn to Vampires without traumatizing them you can make the original vampire in the way i described above and make a Cursed well. Create a hole. Put in the hole the spikes or spear that can be activated with a lever. Create a barracks in the hole and put the new vampire in one person squad. (Vampires will always train if they are in the military and you set them to always train and that way you can get them to the hole. Before you put them there prepare the hole in a way that the Vampire will not climb out. (smooth the walls of the entire well. After the vampire is in the well use the spike or spear to make a pool of blood bellow. Then fill the well with buckets (yes buckets from another well. dumping water any other way will destroy the pool of blood.)

[@Utubecridik35]

In your efforts to create a monster, I learned you already were one lol.

[@YAHGOA]

You can add adventurers to forts buy having the forts be thier hometowns. Then you go out and make them vampires etc, you can then kill them and taint the food with thier blood and make it so that it is the only food left or just put it into a reservoir. I never played the steam version but vamparism is transmitted via the blood iirc

[@YAHGOA]

you also have to retire them back there

[@kadepage8166]

Ayy new hoodie hair vid hell yeah 💖

[@dragonbullrog]

is this messed up? maybe... LOL that part got me!

[@vortex_1336]

Pretty sure it has to be a temple statue and not just a statue of the god.

[@dihydrogenmonoxide]

This is the most messed up video so far! Excellent story telling as always

[@josegc9802]

Is this the first time i notice or there's background music now? bc i like it

[@Wizard_Gamer_star]

Next time try using statue's of gods that your dwarfs don't warship

[@ChristosGoulios]

8:10 this cracked me up.

[@MeteWayne]

hey new video! I always love to watch your videos!

[@tonyhawksunderground2]

great video as always

[@ChamblesRNG]

Amd there I was thinknig this story is going somewhere

[@ZeroG]

Also how do u get that 3d side view?

[@hoodiehair]

the 3d view is a utility called Stonesense. It's part of DFHack.

[@guyguyson8578]

Is that 3D fortress a mod? If now how do you use it?

[@hoodiehair]

It's called stonesense and you have to install dfhack to run it!

[@MeGigantorzMon]

Amazing vid

[@Cyynapse]

so basically you accidentally did a Saw

[@BrutusAlbion]

Torture Fortress ...

[@sammyroberts8902]

New mic?

[@Terrapin-gw6bb]

!SCIENCE!

[@dapperdawgplays]

No regrets.

[@hughguy3104]

first to call first did u get a new mic

[@hoodiehair]

yeah picked up a new mic a couple days ago

[@hughguy3104]

@@hoodiehair v nice

[@ZeroG]

Your rooms are too nice. To really piss them off, your rooms should be ill-consecrated and not have any of the statues or valuable shit. You have to piss off the god AND the person. The nice god Dakas cursed one of my guards into a werelemur (truly abhorrent red eyes) because he overturned the altar in the temple, AND because that temple had previously been dedicated to a different diety before I reset it to Dakas...

[@TheCcrack]

best way to make vampires is to use adventure mode, capture a vampire and drag it to the fortress then throw it down a well so its blood gets in the well

[@ersh4529]

Ayo