How and Why to Stop Taking What People Say Personally (And Just STFU & Mind Your Own Damn Business)

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Hurt people hurt people.
Someone hurts our feelings (usually unintentionally and unconsciously) and we Re-Act from our 3-year old self and hurt them back. Then they get hurt and hurt us back. And the cycle continues.
One of the ways the cycle of abuse continues is through participating in gossip: we either talk about other people in an unloving way about how someone is behaving or we can be on the receiving end of that unloving behavior. This is incredibly destructive and unloving.
We use other people to validate how we feel about ourselves; we use other people to show how much better we are than others; we use other people to bring them to "our side" of our problems and it is just so mean. Because we ARE mean! We hurt. And we take that hurt and hurl it at someone else.
So today, I ask you to stop gossiping about people and stop spreading one-sided stories to make yourself feel superior to the other person. Before you say anything, remember to THINK - is what I am about to say Thoughtful, Honest, Important, Necessary, AND Kind? If not, shut the f*ck up. Don't say anything and mind your own damned business.
And if you are on the receiving end of the gossip, you can do any or all of the following:
STFU. Don't say anything to anyone.
STFU. Go to the person in question and have a conversation with them. Have a conversation of curiosity to find out what the problem really is.
STFU. What someone else says has nothing to do with you. It really doesn't. They are perceiving you through their past experiences and they are re-acting as their inner 3-year old. They want to hurt you because of how they view the world. Change the narrative. Walk away. Don't engage. Find something that takes up all your love and attention. Distract yourself. Say to yourself, "in this moment, I am safe."
If someone repeats something that you have said, would you be ok with it? Are you able to say what you want to say to the person's face? If not, STFU.
Being on the other end of cruelty is not fun. But I don't have to engage, and neither do you.
Do yourself and others a favor today, and just keep your damned mouth shut when you want to hurt someone with your words. It's not loving.
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#STFU #mindyourownbusiness #DailyMeditations #SpiritualPractice #MeditationReflections #12StepJourney #SpiritualGrowth #HealingJourney #InnerPeace #PersonalDevelopment #Mindfulness #SpiritualInsights #AlAnon #AlcoholicsAnonymous #NarcoticsAnonymous #AdultChildrenOfAlcoholics #RecoveryJourney #SpiritualAwakening #SelfDiscovery #RecoveryCommunity #LetGoAndLetGod

[@gswordnichols5154]

I love it when you sID "Shut the fuck up" good advice. It takes practice and I get better at it every day! Thank you for the teaching! LOve GoldenSword.

[@passinthru4788]

Thank you for sharing. It’s an ongoing journey. Complex childhood trauma is real. God bless you.

[@jackiecarter5193]

I needed to hear this . Thank you.

[@kimberlymcsweeny1723]

💯 💖

[@teressabarnhart9813]

I love your message. You come across as a very grounded, sincere person with an important message. I don't like to hear the "F" word though. I think you are a classy, well-spoken lady and can leave that word out of your future content. I will be back to listen again.

[@morningswithpatty]

Thank you for sharing your feedback!