How Anhedonia Steals Your Happiness (How To Crave Hard Work)

[@HealthyGamerGG]

I wonder if anyone's going to catch the double meaning of the title... 👀 EDIT: Title changed but was previously "Why Nothing Makes You Happy"

[@yousifalaswad51]

🤷‍♂️ is it because doing nothing makes u unhappy.

[@gregasarka4124]

But what about the third meaning of the title? You see, the "nothing" that makes you happy is not just the absence of something, but the very presence of absence itself. To notice the double meaning is to already live in its shadow. But the third meaning? That's when "nothing" becomes a being-a small, slightly disgruntled creature that tries its best to make you happy but fails because it cannot juggle or bake soufflés. So really, the title is less a question and more a critique of "nothing's" lack of talent. Poor "nothing." It does its best.

[@hanamccarthy710]

I think it’s about being present, if nothing is in your mind it’s easier to be happy

[@Psychojogia]

Nothing phone, obviously... ?

[@Toporshik]

100% That's why I clicked on the video

[@jaredquaglieri3731]

>Literally one bad thing happens during childhood >Brain for the rest of eternity: Eh I'm out

[@Elfyja]

This made me wheeze

[@Piergrulli_Sfracelletti]

Very convenient huh?

[@conanwills4154]

​@@Piergrulli_Sfracellettihe's not saying he can't do anything he's saying he doesn't get enjoyment from it

[@astrotrain3332]

💀💀😂😂 our brains are too damn good at adapting to danger and abuse, they over correct

[@handyhacker11]

I call bs

[@k9s2music65]

Dr K’s ability to make high quality research and insight accessable to the public is beautiful ❤️

[@jacobholm47]

Social media (reels specifically)is the absolute worst thing to happen to society in a LONG time.

[@pricklycatsss]

Idk how people watch shorts and reels. I specifically avoid anything that’s shorter than 15-20 minutes. I mostly watch/listen to videos as background noise while doing other things. If I watched shorts unironically I would never get anything done because you have to swipe/tap every 30 seconds.

[@pricklycatsss]

Anything less than 10 minutes isn’t even an option in my mind to click on

[@KML-XX]

No, that was tiktok, absolutely no question

[@sadeddinmus]

Why do you think like this. Please explain more.

[@mystiquevening]

It may be pretty horrible but it’s also been such an incredible tool! To be able to hear and read and see other people’s experiences and hardships all around the world 🌍 is absolutely miraculous to me! This is an incredible part of our history! Humans only struggle with using this tool in healthy and beneficial ways! If we were optimal about our internet usage the strides humans could make together all around the world would be fascinating!

[@tutata]

Hit my head with my mouse, no dopamine found.

[@nicooo9619]

Try again

[@astrotrain3332]

Never give up. You can do it. ❤

[@reddaneali5997]

try harder! actually pain makes the brain release endorphins to some extent !

[@ek5635]

"Focus on smaller goals! Stay consistent and tackle one thing at a time" cries in ADHD

[@cobaltepsilon1080]

Exactly where I'm right now. I can never stay focused on one thing. Makes me think I'm unable to utilize this advice effectively.

[@brodicus]

​@@cobaltepsilon1080 those of us with ADHD might need more practice, but the advice is still important. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

[@DWbo-r7v]

Caffeine helps by calming the frontal lobes weirdly

[@BasHasibuan]

What do you mean? That's exactly what you need to do especially if you have ADHD. It's hard, but we need to always practice it.

[@VampireGirl67]

@DWbo-r7v love that shit🫡

[@gabrieltheazevedo]

I've been watching the channel for years so I can't really say that I found this out on my own, but yeah, that's exactly what I had to do in order to get my life in order. I just set an overall direction of where I want my life to go and then leave the rest to improvisation. Every morning I write a single "quest" for the day and center everything I do around that. Then later I take some time to reflect on how things are going and make corrections along the way. Every month I review how I spent my time and change things around if I need to. I don't set goals, only North Stars. No rules on how to live, just a strong set of standards. It's been the perfect balance between just riding the waves of life and still having all the control I need to do what's important to me. I like to think that I've already graduated from HealthyGamer (living life is pretty awesome now), but I love checking in every once in a while. It's still wild to get this kind of information from someone as qualified as Alok.

[@RUsureUR]

@gabrieltheazevedo I would love to interview you but lack the skills. Your story is IRT happening. I personally would find it encouraging to hear like-minded people in community sharing in real-time their achievements during check-ins. A space where like-minded healthy gamers can find real-time role models. Like AA meetings but for healthy lifestyle changes. I mean no disrespect. I'm just curious.

[@antoniobandera2194]

Would be cool to smth like alumni talk about how they got gud and stuff, your comment is very inspiring

[@kensha1643]

Your story is inspiring! Could you provide an example of setting your North Star instead of goals?

[@gabrieltheazevedo]

@@kensha1643 Sure! It's a very simple idea though. For example, when it comes to fitness, my North Star is to just stay athletic for as long as I can. The details don't really matter. I trust that I know enough about how the human body works and that I'm aware enough of my emotions that I'll make good decisions when it comes to health. Before, I would try to come up with a whole map for everything I had to do in the future, including planing for things that'd never happen. Now I just pick a few landmarks and use a compass, because I know my navigation skills are sharp enough. I can't say for sure why or how this change happened, but I've been journaling for a while now. Laying out the way I think on paper has helped me see everything more objectively. So maybe that's a good place to start. I really like the Bullet Journal Method from Ryder Carroll. He develop it because he struggled a lot growing up with ADHD, but I think anyone going through our modern days of infinite distraction can benefit from at least giving journaling a shot. It's really simple and you can probaly find it for free on the internet.

[@cawcawmeowmeow]

​@@antoniobandera2194this is a fantastic idea. They could talk about what worked and didnt work for them as they moved forward with their lives.

[@Hot.dorito]

This was actually an eye opener for me. Now i really understand small goals. Find pleasure in checking off small boxes.

[@jackdeniston6150]

´Find´ Just lift bro

[@plussa666]

There is a catch. If you burst big thing to small checkboxes, you can find the list too long. So you need to look forward just a one or few steps. I’m struggling because I look things so far ahead.

[@AlanWake379]

But doesnt it increase motivation to see the end goal

[@SoCalG310]

​@AlanWake379 One visualizes the end goal while taking small steps toward that goal. So, the two coexist -- visualization of end goal AND taking small steps toward that goal.

[@SoCalG310]

Same. Imo, NO ONE explains basic human nature and mental health better than Dr. K. So grateful to/for him. Even though I'm not a parent... I bought his book on Audible.

[@Rosayi]

Tried to watch the whole video without switching between dopamine stimulators (like watching shorts and coming back to the video every min) and I did it, I'm so proud of myself

[@life4god14]

I was going to listen to songs first then I watched your comment and stopped here. Thanks

[@rishikeshpandey6484]

Congratulations to both of you

[@Rosayi]

@@life4god14 Glad to help 🤗

[@Emp31]

Good job dude, keep being consistent with making good habits

[@Rosayi]

@Emp31 tyy, I will try 🤗

[@Polyphemus47]

I just turned 77 a week ago. For starters, my husband succumbed to cancer three years ago. I live alone, with my only transportation option as bus rides. ALL of my friends here left the planet. My social worker moved on, and that service is no longer available through my insurance. I'm being treated horribly by the management of this apartment complex. When my friend of 20 years died a year ago, he left me his SUV, and a gift of cash. That manager was designated by him to administer his wishes. She kept everything, and since the papers were not notarized, I have no recourse. The heating unit here failed a year and a half ago, and she refuses to do anything but provide a small electric heater. And yadayada. You've given me a new word to describe the state I've been in for a long time, now. I used to think of it as 'ennui' - now it'll be 'anhedonia'. Your description fits so well.

[@jennw6809]

I'm really sorry to hear all this. It sounds really hard, especially with your landlord cheating you out of your friends' gifts. In my state the landlord must fix the heating within 24 hours. You might want to look up the landlord-tenant laws in your state, and contact the state attorney general or tenant hotline if you have one. Although I realize it is tricky, because she might make you life hard in other ways.

[@Rishi-i2r]

Don't worry you will meet them soon why not try becoming a streamer on youtube

[@JudgeyJudgeyable]

Happy birthday! I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I hope you can connect with a local social services organization that can offer free or affordable services to you. May 2025 bring you a better year and happiness

[@josepmasdeufigueras4434]

If you did a Mangione, you have literally nothing left to lose i guess.

[@Altera_Industries]

Catching the moment is the biggest take away I took from this because it is so relatable. That moment of achievement is never celebrated because it feels foolish to celebrate one step on a long road. All our crap, all our guilt and misunderstood values really can work to destroy our pleasure. I learnt something massive from this video. Thanks DR K

[@lucboellinger7733]

True ! That's whay shaming someone only works for tiny things. Someone makes me feel bad to show up late, I will try to come early next time. Someone makes me feel bad for being poor, I'll be depressed. Sometimes people don't see the powers their words holds

[@shaimizu]

Therapists that I've talked to about anhedonia and they all suggested to just keep doing things even if I don't enjoy them and eventually I'll enjoy them again and try doing new things. It hasn't improved anything. I'm really thankful for this video and you explaining it the way that you did so it can actually be understood. ❤

[@randomviewer144]

man dr k is awesome. helped me so much

[@HealthyGamerGG]

It’s an honor and a privilege to

[@AP.Podcasts23]

You make extremely intelligent conversations easy to follow and I completely understand what your trying to get across, I am trying to help people around me with mental health and you are helping me learn some of the whys! Thank you Q. Can you make it fun to talk about mental health?

[@PiegyYTube]

Never donated on a video before, but... wow. Just, wow. Nothing fancy, just solid advice. Thank you

[@RUsureUR]

C-ptsd is not popular because it reeks of child abuse. Awareness is needed. Parenting is the root cause. It's a pattern that society has preferred to sweep under the carpet and blame the children.

[@sodapopjam]

But what about those situations where parents are narcissists or just immature and have their kids traumatized for life because they set unrealistic expectations and made them feel like a complete failure everyday? Should we force some basic parentic classes or something?

[@DWbo-r7v]

What if you and parents are just undiagnosed ADHD or autustic

[@sodapopjam]

​@DWbo-r7v This is interesting, I tested myself as my little sister was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I came out with neither ADHD not autism, but I tested as High intellectual capacity and have symptoms of PTSD. As we know, ADHD can be inherited, so I do think my mom does have undiagnosed high functioning ADHD (she hits way too many notes), but I also suspect she is a narcissist and has BDP, which became worse to deal with when my dad left, which in turned left us both with C-PTSD. She doesn't want to be tested as "she's perfectly fine" (LOL sure). I've been addressing my trauma, and so far, I am making great progress. But this just made me aware of how mentally unhealthy parents can ruin totally functional kids. Like, I remember the exact moment where I snapped. I think this is important to address, because how is it possible that we are teaching kids how kids are made, but not how to raise such kids? We are expecting people to somehow learn this as they grow up but if you think about it: We are mentally broken people raising mentally broken kids.

[@RUsureUR]

@DWbo-r7v that's why we need awareness.

[@zer0her048]

@@RUsureURsorry to say but awareness aint gonna do much about that. I‘m 21 and autistic and even if I explain to people what that means and how it manifests, they either discard that, or don‘t believe me, because it is nothing they can see. And as a child it‘s even worse. People, especially your parents just call it a phase or tantrum. I went through a lot of neglect and multiple deeply depressed times because of that. If something cannot be seen, the average person will not acknowledge it.

[@chillwithcharles]

This is literally the physiological equivalent of *To those who have everything all shall be given, to those who have nothing all shall be taken.*

[@Alex-l1f1p]

Exactly first thought came to mind

[@astrotrain3332]

Rich get richer etc etc yup

[@DWbo-r7v]

Just inherit assets bro

[@zer0her048]

@DWbo-r7v wait your dad does not own a fortune 500 company? That‘s a skill issue, idk what to say.

[@Shivam-xo6lg]

But, I heard a quote similar quote, which goes like this "Those who sacrifice everything, will gain everything, and those miser who does not, everything will be taken from them."

[@BoesaOpa]

I'm very familiar with the procrastinating part. Not only do I procrastinate chores like homework or studying for my exams, I also do the same with things that I actually love and care about and in the end, I just desperately want to kill time so I can go to sleep. It's so frustrating to watch myself getting distracted everywhere anytime.

[@Fab666.]

When we have tech to fill the gaps in every single room of difficulty and resistance, no wonder it’s 10x harder than it should be. I’d live in a tech free zone if possible

[@scarwolf2029]

What an absolute gobsmacker of a banger video. Not kidding I seriously believe this should be shown to everyone, especially scientific materialistic people, because like K says, even though we figured this out 3000 years ago, having the “proof” and basis of why it works, but way way more important HOW it works, it just blows me away. Excellent work like always coming from the guys at HG. Bravo.

[@gernottiefenbrunner172]

It was interesting to watch alright, but I don't see how it is useful to anyone. "Want less" is a fine goal, but there's no steps towards it that I can take.

[@CookieSlime-tf8gq]

​@gernottiefenbrunner172 have you tried making them?

[@neysk2]

I saw the title and thumbnail and immediately thought how small things like birthday parties, going to somebody's wedding to basically just eat, casual dates are what i look forward to nowadays and feel especially happy about cause my life has been so mundane and filled with the same routine as I am relentlessly pursuing my education. Moreover, i really feel privileged to feel like this and try my best to enjoy them.

[@TheArcher101]

Same - those events are nice to go to and a nice change of pace, and it's good to see certain people again - but that really is just it, it never feels deeper or more emotionally fulfilling than that I went to a friend's wedding in August this year and had a good time, but was I brimming with love for the couple and their special day like I was going to burst? Sadly, no

[@vanshjain1418]

this comment hits the nail on the head nicely

[@Fab666.]

When those events are supposed to bring pleasure but instead stress me out 🫤..

[@nikson3720]

Seriously you hit the nail on the head with this one. I go to anime and furry conventions, these places are my places to escape and engage with the community. But I am aware that most people in this place usually have their own friends and partners they are there with. As a result, this place teeming with things I love, is a huge reminder that I am indeed really lonely. I have friends who have made it in this sphere, do I receive that happiness? I wish I could but no, I don't. I just go about my day and nobody cares where I am or what I'm doing, so me giving that care out seems really stupid to do.

[@clobzz]

literally the only thing i have to look forward to is my 2-3 days off a week to play videogames all day, sleeping specifically so i can see what kind of dreams i end up having, and getting my morning coffee…thats it, thats literally it.

[@flyingwarrior12]

This is the first video of all the videos teaching how to become happier that I actually found useful and insightful. It was an amazing video, thank you for doing this!

[@kyle1732]

I have been in this state for 2 years now and really hoping to turn it around. Before I was one of those super deep feelers that can gets deep amazing feelings about everything and I would really love to feel like myself again. Thank you for covering this topic

[@jasonscalzo9597]

Working on trying to consistently go to the gym at least 3 times a week for a month in an effort to rewire my brain

[@papakael8247]

The brain is like water flowing down a mountain. It'll take the path of least resistance, which are our existing habits. By choosing something new, you basically put a stone in the river. Eventually the stones build and your brain goes down the new path of least resistance. Big ups.

[@zeruszephuros5419]

I tried that for 8 months and then relapsed immediately lol

[@12mkamran]

I've been doing that for a year now. If I didn't have Personal Trainer (PT) I wouldn't have made it a year. Always on the edge of covering myself in blankets and sleeping.

[@marko112kg]

I ran and dieted for a year and a half, lost 80 pounds. Gave up. Went up 120 pounds.

[@jako8276]

This is nothing to me but studying is impossible man i really don’t like it

[@mariahspapaya]

Dr. K, this is probably one of your best and most helpful videos, i swear you tap into a higher consciousness and anticipate your audiences struggles with perfect timing. This is something I’ve struggled with and have been acutely aware of on and off for the last few years of my life. I derived a lot of benefit from being medicated for my ADHD, until the side effects became too much, and I craved more balance in my life. Going to therapy (and an actually good therapist) has been much more beneficial than I anticipated, since a lot of my problems come from my network of negative thought about myself and my abilities. It’s hard for me to get things done at times since I get overwhelmed easily. I’ve started to get a lot more pleasure from finishing tasks instead of beating myself up for not doing more (there’s always more to be done)…The way you incorporate psychiatry with neuroscience and mindfulness is really a treasure. One of my goals is to one day start my own podcast and hopefully have an interesting conversation with you about your profoundly positive impact on my life, among other things. Thanks Dr. K 💗

[@Elfyja]

The edits keep getting better lol love it

[@lineinka]

this video is what i need today. Literally 1 hour ago i was crying because I realized that I can't feel any joy at all.. Dr K you are a godsend. Thank you

[@joey-zy7gq]

You’re my favorite youtuber you one handedly changed my view of life I just wanted to put that out there

[@pioafc]

To be honest. I've been struggling for years. On the outside I'm being seen as an achieving machine. On the inside - no matter what I do I struggle to have any sense of achievement or excitment. I'll implement some of the ideas from the vid and see if it makes a difference. Thx Dr K. I wish all of you best of luck and improvement.

[@CryptoC4T]

Same here. No matter how I frame my life it looks pretty good. This says nothing about the bottomless pit of joyless despair it sometimes feels like. My happiness from what's called "success" lasts way shorter than a lunch break if I even manage to spot it.

[@tiCajfy]

What an amazing recommendation from youtube this was. Thank you for the work you do Dr. K! About 10 years ago, I graduated as an engineer and began working in a job I never thought was possible for me. I had loads of drive to succeed and I felt like I was really moving forward in life (even tho I still had many issues with my life). Fast forward to about 3 years ago, I lost 2 pets in a span of few months. It was super traumatizing for me and I developed depression and severe anxiety from it. Ever since then I've been feeling like I just don't have the energy to do anything, or that if I get ahead a little, something always comes crashing down and ruins all my progress. It's very reassuring to know that there is clinical research being done on this and will definitely try out shrinking my ambitions as dr. K recommends (since I too have these lofty goals I don't really believe I'll ever achieve).

[@gunnish1337]

Great explanation!

[@foxandthemoon]

I personally dont feel happy when doing things till about halfway through when i realize its okay to feel excited about it. After years of being let down when i let myself be excited for something has changed my brain to wait till I know I have it to celebrate. no social media for about 4-5 years. This is just the effects when you invest time with people that dont see you human too. i just need to personally do more little things to be excited about where i have more control of it working out to reteach my brain its okay to get hopes up.

[@whydoIneedAchannel2024]

Lucky you can get excited halfway through

[@foxandthemoon]

@@whydoIneedAchannel2024 a lot of it is letting myself be vulnerable enough to have fun. Itd start at the beginning but no one likes looking stupid which is why a lot of us have such walls up that stop us from being silly. I hope you get to the point where you feel okay trusting the world to let you have some happy.

[@ryanhartwig108]

This video couldn't have come a better time for me. "tone it down" is great advice, especially with the subtext that it doesn't have to mean reducing your ambitions. just pressing pause on them, and letting those ambitions grow naturally once you start deriving more pleasure from the activities that matter. That study also shows a second diagram which is very interesting, related to the "stress is enhancing" mindset, where your reaction to a potentially stressful event dictates the outcome as positive or negative. so if for example, you get rejected on a proposal at work, and take it personally / think that accomplishing that goal is impossible, you in turn increase the distance from achieving the goal (aka increasing the denominator), and your motivation/pleasure around achieving that goal diminishes. In contrast, seeing that rejection as an opportunity to improve your work will further increase your motivation to improve it, and so the cycle continues

[@stephsteph4503]

Moving back to the US, losing my mom, and having a baby in a few years span ended my motivation for a long time. My weight also nearly doubled which made me feel bad about myself. I landed a job recently as a prof moving back to Japan with my family. I started walking 5k steps a day, changing my diet, etc just with the goal of being able to fit Japan's largest standard clothing size (pre 2020 I was a Japanese medium, I'm now aiming for their extra large). I also have been studying Japanese again and took the second highest level exam recently (awaiting results). For the past few MONTHS, I didn't feel any pleasure from doing these things, but recently I'm starting to get some pleasure from these things again. I do miss Japan and am excited to show my husband and son around, and Idk, having a career goal is causing me to indulge in self care and enjoy it. Moving in a safer environment and having more freedom to go outside (I'm not a good driver and don't drive much in the US, whereas I can hop on the train daily in Japan), seems to really help me. I'm halfway through the video and see that yes, it really is my career and status that helped me enjoy everything. Excited to go back to work, and in a better job (both status and paywise) than I've ever had before! ps- I bought your book, but I haven't read it yet. Maybe it will be my flight book!

[@AlanSEDDIKI]

It's litterally the most useful video I've seen on this platform.

[@GrampaPiggie]

I got so introspective and started to stare off into the distance thinking about actions contributing to ambition and then the round winning killcam popped up outta nowhere and sent me reeling. Thank you Dr. K for all of the thought and work you put into making these videos to help this community and also thank you for your humor and the humor of your editors to do shit like a round winning killcam.

[@adi5877]

I'll Summarise this for my understanding (after watching the whole thing) 1. Become aware of what key aspects are overwhelming or if im not deriving any happiness from trivial/non trivial activities. 2. Not have a huge denominator - Focus on a few things and when I get the thoughts of overwhelming activities -- remind myself to let it go. (it only happens when I call out them at that very moment) 3. Tone it down, even the ambitious goals (For now), they will naturally flow once my denominator is small. (Gautam Buddha's approach of doing less) Thanks, Dr. K. Having a small denominator is hitting because even mathematically, 1/3 is greater than 1/64.

[@thegritsch]

As an aside: The scale of consciousness by David Hawkins feeds perfectly into this. If you're bogged down by apathy and grief, life is hell. Much different from the experience of someone who is living mostly in courage, as life gets easier and easier the higher you go, until you start experiencing synchronicity and constant flow. I'd recon that the state of the nervous system is also a determining factor for this, as someone who is stuck in a dorsal vagal response will mostly experience apathy, shame and guilt

[@Konamalunu]

This video made me highly emotional. It feels like actionable advice I can start now with.

[@RockelLin]

So if I'm understanding this, the brain is better at rewarding small, attainable goals than it is at rewarding progress towards a big goal. So it's actually easier to build habits if we keep a narrower focus, and good habits will carry us way farther than chasing a big dream. I guess my next question is how do we put the bigger goals out of our minds while we're focusing on the next rung on the ladder? Is that just a self-talk thing, and you have to train yourself to not think about big goals outside of when you're planning what your next small goal should be?

[@SatyaMishra-zr1fm]

@RockelLin Hey mate speaking from personal experience, u must have a bird's eye view of ur end goal but you need to break it down to quarter,monthly, weekly and lastly daily actionable steps where ur mind doesn't have to figure out what to do and when to after u wake up bearing all the crap life throws at u,the stairs will be already there u just have to step on...for daily actionable plan u can use Google calendar ,clik up,and notion habit tracker it's other templates as well also don't forget to review and reward yourself for ur daily progress and journal it in physical or digital diary before u sleep(the small rewards for small daily wins will reinforce those productive behaviours next day) and after all have patience and compassion for urself as u have for a friend and and belive in urself u can do it💪.hope u find it's helpful good luck mate

[@mdayaan7573]

I think the later

[@tiffanylbacon]

This is what I have actively trying to do. I am looking for a new job in a career that I want, not one that may make me a lot of money. I stopped networking. I removed social media from my phone and began journaling. While I don’t feel I’ve reduced the dopamine requirement for pleasure I have decreased the overwhelm. Slowly getting there.

[@Wineblood]

It feels like the dopamine we get from social media and being on our phone is a constant, so against our low enjoyment of everything else, technology wins every time.

[@seeker_2000]

Boii write a book now

[@Wineblood]

@@seeker_2000 It's on my 2025 list but it's a fiction book, so idk what you want me to write based on my comment.

[@TexJJN]

This is fascinating and seems to explain why there can be positive response to practicing daily gratitude as in essence we are wanting less or appreciating what we have.

[@ohmielevisope4237]

I have recently started exersicing and have been seeing great results from it. I have a lot of things to do but i have been taking it one step at a time and this slow pace has been successfull for me to achieve things.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

I cancelled my gym membership

[@vitoriaabreu19]

Seeing that Dr K posted this an hour ago while I am going through something that is so relevant, it makes me think he is watching me all times… Hi Dr K!

[@HealthyGamerGG]

👋

[@merienda4958]

​@@HealthyGamerGGtalkin like you're Dr. K😭

[@Fab666.]

It’s his super power

[@giantclaw138]

This found me at the right time in between dealing with seasonal depression, in between semester anxiety, and the two year anniversary of a personal trauma

[@AJBats]

I love this video. I’ve been stalling in my hobbies and I think I know why now. At the very least I have some ideas to try. Thanks Dr. K as always, what a champ.

[@4SM93]

This makes a lot of sense why I feel better going to college than just working a random job to pay the bills. This is a sign for me to go back to school. Thank you Dr. K

[@dotdashdotdash]

Nobody wants to work in suck ass jobs but the system makes you do it or else homelessness

[@salembeats1875]

Oh man I’m actually quite the opposite, I’m in college after quitting my full time job working part time now, it’s actually a shock to me cause I’m use to getting a full time paycheck and I got bills to pay 😅 the grass is always greener I gues

[@Goldsnip]

Great video, as usual. Thanks Dr. K.!

[@unknown_error101]

This one hits the spot. Thanks Dr. K!!

[@lightseeker134]

This was so helpful! Prior to watching this, I had a laundry list of things I "needed" to do. I didn't realize how much the pressure of how much I "needed" to do to complete these goals was affecting me. So, I decided to forget the list, live in the moment and only concentrate on the most important of these and that would yield the most benefit. A few days later, I was amazed how much better I felt! Again, thank you so much!

[@PedramNG]

it was really good. wow. now i fully get the power of building habits and enjoying your daily tasks. the thing that needs to be added is to not be worries about all the things that I want and only focus on the task that needs to be done today. now. done-zo

[@VanNordstein]

I suffered from Anhedonia some years ago. Then I went to a 4 weeks long Zen retreat and all I did was meditation and cleaning the floor. It was like a reset for my mind and feelings.

[@LstBrth]

I can't believe that what I've been trying to do day on and on, has turned into the opposite. Setting bigger expectations everyday. Taking breaks as something I need to keep my performance, instead of something I want to do. I'm adding this video into a single video playlist with the name "Watch this when you feel lost" and keep it for the rest of my life.

[@susanh-bz5qv]

It's really amazing how Dr. K's formulation of understanding the description of the problem (depression/anhedonia) and the mechanism of the underlying biological function (dopaminergic circuitry) is an antidote to the erasure of folk wisdom as in Buddhism. I remember my parents exhorting me to think of smaller chunks of goals/needs and to celebrate small victories rather than to construct a gigantic edifice of "things I must achieve for a successful life" which seems to be something too many people are suffering from these days. I guess the question of why things tend towards building a gigantic edifice of desires is possibly a sociological one (in the context of growing elements of the attention economy?)

[@kia-yj3vp]

I've been watching Dr k. for a couple years now and still every video I watch I learn a new eye opening concept

[@AThirstyPhilosopher]

Thank you for breaking anhedonia down in this way, Dr. K. I appreciate you! I will be discussing this with my therapist at my next appointment. There are definitely things here that could help me. This concept also makes me think of ideas from minimalism (gratitude, intentionality, mindfulness, wanting less).

[@kylebarnett9234]

Incredibly helpful thank you. I noticed even when I was practicing Buddhism I made this mistake. I had this idea in my head that I'm meditating half an hour a day. But I hate my life because I can't drive and there is no Buddhists in my area. (For a while I was waiting to get my license and felt stuck in life for that one thing) But changing my perspective to being able to just watch at least 1 video. Makes a huge difference instead of setting the bar high

[@Bryan-ke4lf]

watched this and took notes, it was so helpful to me. I've been bringing the concepts in these videos up to my therapist and its been so helpful. gives me a lot of hope, thanks so much. more people should notice what you are doing dr.k

[@jordidiaz6907]

This was such an awesome video! Thanks Dr K

[@SkyVoid]

Im not sad or depressed. My life is moving in a generally positive direction, but now, I've reached a point where i don't feel depressed, but nothing gives me pleasure or happiness or contentment. Others can tell. Especially at jobs. I try to put on this mask, but it isn't working anymore. I want to be me and enjoy myself. But i can't. Family is too busy trying to break whoever i am because i must be holding them back somehow. I'm trying to be forthcoming, im trying to be truthful and loyal, but no. I can't do anything right according to...anyone but me. There's basically no real way to fix all of this unless i want to be even more lonely later in life. I want to believe in this research and science but this doesn't help others understand that im feeling uncomfortable.

[@raghavadoregowda2191]

Woahh, that's deep....

[@missylks1239]

What part of you is your family “trying to break”?

[@NiSE_Rafter]

I'm in a similar spot. Tried talking to a few therapists but they just didn't get it. It's a very isolating feeling.

[@missylks1239]

@@NiSE_Rafter Every therapist I've been to believes that the source of all of my issues is my job. It's very annoying. Like they're not even listening to me.

[@AlanWake379]

My family is after me too lol. I could have written this from word to word.

[@AF2277S]

My view towards this is that we first need to elongate our desires, and then break them down into achievable steps. Those steps are now the main focus, blinders on towards those bigger aspects. It lowers the barrier and then it compounds as time goes on.

[@TheWickedWizardOfOz1]

"There is no dopamine entering my brain from a mouse!" My cat would like to disprove this point

[@BrolyPowerMaximum]

This makes a lot of sense to me. It kind of reminds me of JBP talking about how when human beings have experiences, a primitive part of our brain, places us into an internal hierarchy based on how we perform, and that gets displayed externally through our actions that follow. And when he’s talked about people who struggle with motivation, he says that people think that you just have to feel motivated in order to do something, but the opposite is the truth for people who are struggling to feel motivated. The motivation won’t come until you’ve created a positive behavioral loop, such as forcing yourself to work out against your lack of motivation, and with these routines established, the motivation will come because you have already proven that you are capable of doing it now. You don’t have to wonder how you were going to do it because you’re already doing it, and you’re already taking positive steps forward. So when it comes to, whether or not, you are going to do something that you know is healthy for you, but you’re struggling with doing, the answer isn’t to try and go find some kind of great inspiration and some great motivating factor. You probably aren’t going to feel motivated until you are already in the pattern of doing it because You are a person who gets stuck in your patterns, so until you get stuck in good ones, you won’t be able to move forward in a positive way. Motivation doesn’t come before effort. They exist in a cycle in which the effort comes first.

[@AnaTonksCarver]

Wow! Longtime viewer, but I rarely comment. This was fantastic! I loved the metaphor of the smaller denominator. It's a great visual, and connects to the ADHD learner in a great way. We use behavior checklists a lot for students with ADHD, and it literally breaks down their goals to specific and targeted goals. Seriously, great video!

[@johnsychev2046]

OMG, I was trying to understand how people make and achieve goals for themselves and now I understood. It is not picking favorite from big box. It is shrinking the box, and get a lot of pleasure from it. Now it is completely understandable and easy, thank you!!!

[@aksshayy]

Hit me in the head!! This was one of the most helpful videos i watched ever! The Anhedonic thing matched word to word to my daily experience of life. Everyone always had tremendous expectations from me. From childhood I was deemed as a gifted chid and that I’ll do great in life achive something. So even the good things that happened or I did never ever gave me pleasure I never enjoyed a trip with friends or a good meal. Just because I wasn’t living up to expectations - mine and what others have from me! It was always dream bigger work harder! But i alwaysss struggled to work consistently.. how could you when it doesn’t give any pleasure. Thank you dr K for the new perspective 🙏🏻

[@dl5185]

Honestly think info here is a great combo of recent videos. It's funny how the same info connected in a different way can sink so much deeper. Thanks HG!

[@jonassvik1580]

Really enjoying that you started doing longer videos again!

[@G-y9pc]

very inspiring, thank you. Actually i have noticed that maybe for me the worst part is that whenever i finish sth (e.g. Get a PhD degree or finally buy my house) i can't feel happy as other people do, i just get the feeling more like a slight relief and then immediately worry the work in the next step... or just cannot get the pleasure from completion. so i will try to watch the thoughts now.

[@Stolens87]

1:30 holy shieeet, where did you found my diary? I really hope that is just like with horoscopes. This "oh, it is surprisingly accurate"-feeling surely just fits somehow to everybody.

[@gojipuddin]

My friend struggles with anhedonia a lot! Hes been such a big help in my life because of his ability to see things more objectively and his interest in others emotions. Im so happy this video is here ive been anticipating it since it was teased i love and understand, to learn more about these things especially that my friends have struggled with so much! Now id just love a video for me with trichotillomania! The hair pulling… disorder? Addiction? Obsession? I sometimes dream of getting to call with Dr. K about my peculiar struggle with trich. Bc i dont know why i pull my hair, so many are motivated by stress but i dont think mine is? I really need an actual therapist haha but im scared they wont understand or be able to help like dr k

[@HK-cp8tm]

I appreciate this so much, thank you, God bless

[@Empyreanis]

Thanks for the vid doc! You always upload at the right time in my life.

[@georginikolov7640]

Thanks!

[@mcsushi89]

I consider this the best video on this channel, and one of the best videos I've ever seen. This is actually true. I have been working on my body and business for the last 1.5 years, and now I feel a huge, long lasting burst of happiness from just walking 20-30 minutes. Whereas before, everything felt like a slog. But I kept pushing, because I knew it's important that I do.

[@teal.9710]

just came up on my feed after a 2 hour insta reel session

[@JeTrevi25]

Just unninstall it mate

[@ninjalel7041]

real and true

[@Regnum0nline]

@@teal.9710 if u have android there are nice apps that block usage of doom scrolling while still allowing it to use the apps to view the content of your friends

[@teal.9710]

@ will once playboi carti drops the album

[@tommasoiov]

Came up on my feed after 6 hours study session

[@WaltRBuck]

After a while we stop struggling because we don't care about that anymore either

[@winterbird4069]

i like the foundation based reasoning of teaching us WHY we behave a certain way. thanks for the video!

[@lois87]

But what happens when you dont really want anything from life anymore? When the only thing proping the denominator up is counting the days until the ride comes to an end?

[@karinmitschang9734]

thank you so much for sharing ❤

[@EJTechandDIY]

My brain is always thinking about the next thing and it’s so hard to stop.

[@aadarshmusic]

Same brother 🥲

[@Paxicara]

That's when you have to try and take a step back and watch your thoughts come and go. You're brain will never run out of thoughts, you don't have to listen to all of them haha

[@colinb8332]

@ Paxicara exactly. People get so attached to their thoughts and it exhausts them. And they feel overwhelmed. Learn to observe, accept and let go (if necessary)

[@sarthaksanatani05]

Mediation practices helps to remove those unwanted thoughts faster and get back on track

[@ihcobob]

Basically, it keeps coming back to being in the present. This was great information because it frames why living in the now is so important, as opposed to just being a nice little quote that everyone is familiar with, but very few actually follow.

[@ilai7893]

This is such an interesting and timely discussion. I found myself having a generalized sense of anxiety (being in my first relationship, my thoughts went to the upcoming first gathering with GFs friends and all the cooking that we were going to do, plus I worried about how they would view me, and if my living with family would be a future problem...), then I ended up overcooking the steak I was making and got frustrated because my mind extrapolated beyond just the steak to these worries. The exact solution was as Dr K said, focus on the one task (really hone in on making that steak, and then when it was done well enough I could finally enjoy the fruits - or steak - of my labor, when before I was so caught up in all these worries which came to a head because of this specific cooking mishap. Lesson? Don't overgeneralize

[@AlanWake379]

This is the most important video i have ever seen on youtube, thank you. I have lived 10 years with severe anhedonia and this helps a lot.

[@Bryan-wb7te]

This video is very eye opening and potentially life changing. Thanks Dr. K.

[@marinanathanson4940]

Thank you for reminding this again. Once long time ago, I kinda new it. But every time life hits, and takes away one of the life dimensions, its hard to get up from knees. Thanks for all you do. Wish you lots of strength, so you can continue your work. 🙏🏼

[@strider0303]

This video is gold. I've watched it so many times. I've made a lot of progress lately following your teachings, and this video helps clarify things so much. thanks from the bottom of my heart ❤

[@heymanajemenakugakbisa]

Thank you very much for the video!

[@Kazari-h7k]

Shrinking my goals is a MASSIVE mindset change. I've lived my whole life expecting nothing but perfection from myself so I've pretty much never gotten any pleasure from any progress that wasn't exceptional.

[@blossomnosleep]

It feels like being eaten away

[@maestro3887]

yeah but bot being eaten in the good way sadly 😔

[@shuhanluo7862]

in regards to your summary point of ‘shrinking the box’ and ‘catching yourself’ when you find that your wants are overwhelming and thus, the ratio of achievement to ambition is undermining your efforts leading to disappointment, how do you avoid the other end of the spectrum living ‘day to day’ and not having long term goals and ambitions- completing elementary tasks and being satisfied as that ratio of achievement to box is larger than what you were doing before how do you shrink that box without losing sight of your long term goals?

[@txmxtxyz1465]

Thanks Dr. K, you give me hope for the future.

[@edwardfarmer4230]

Thank you, Dr K. One of the best videos.. You have a lot of them !

[@BEACHDUDE71]

True

[@mr.sheepwood]

I'm sitting here with my jaw hanging open. It's unbelievable how Dr. K explains these things in such a way that you understand them and at the same time have the feeling that there's a lot of truth to them.

[@vuankhanhbeo]

Yes! This is the one, that is most related to me, and provides not just the solution, but the reason behind it so that I understand the WHY! Can't wait to try this out myself

[@LaNuitBlanche]

Pleasure -> Woah that's good! Craving -> I want more of this! Behaviour Reinforcement -> I get/do more of this!

[@Hangman404]

What makes the people who conducted this study think that the relationship is not the other way around? It is not surprising that people who get more pleasure from regular activities are more successful in their careers. How did they prove that the causality depends on the career?

[@gernottiefenbrunner172]

I have the same doubt about the "wanting less" part (ie setting smaller goals). I used to have smaller goals, some of them actually were possible, and a select few of those I actually achieved, which did precisely nothing for me. And now, the thought of an achievable goal just isn't interesting.

[@eli7527]

I feel like I am unable to just be around my parents and socialize with them. It sucks because they love me a lot and let me live with them rent free. But it’s so hard to feel normal around them

[@eli7527]

Plz help

[@paulciobanas2451]

THE BEST VIDEO YOU'VE MADE SO FAR! Thank you❤

[@robertchyk]

This is so good, so real thank you Mr k

[@minervagoswami9443]

I love Dr. K kicking the rut out of my life. I hit the gym 4-5 days a week, but something happened in this week that kind of pushed me in a rut as I have mow studies to do and way more stressed. Watching him right away, pushes that rut out of me and I cannot be more grateful to him❤️

[@impulse_raps]

Don’t forget to take breaks! And do stuff you enjoy their important :)