How are Semen Samples collected?

[@InfernoBlaze64]

The production room was on another level bro 💀

[@dustinzimmerman7402]

I always wonder if at the end of your visit, do they say thanks for coming!! 😂😂😂😂

[@marcchaffee7751]

yes they do , but spelled different .

[@dustinzimmerman7402]

@@marcchaffee7751 awesome!!! 👍

[@tomryan914]

"Get your DICKionary !".@@marcchaffee7751

[@Swingom]

😂 no they say thanks for c..ming

[@patrickcoughlin-qj9uk]

Come again and again

[@r.f.pennington746]

Former Med Tech here, reading the 'off hand' comments (ok, many ARE funny). Lab I worked in collected semen samples (mostly post-vas), had a couple of rooms, etc. My lab assistant--every man's dream--had to field all kinds of "Are you gonna help me/will you watch/are you my partner?...and the list never stopped. She would simply hand them a cup, tell them to be sure and remove the lid and finish with "You've been doing this since you were twelve...don't act dumb!" Now THAT would always shut them down!

[@frankeasterling3402]

First off when I saw a woman working the desk I would have left. Secondly, I am not given to humor around a medical office, especially in a situation like that. Third, post vas sample produced at home with wife. Delivered in brown paper bag to counter, and never a word spoken. Got a written report my mail about a week later.

[@r.f.pennington746]

@StayPositive-sd8op absolute knockout!

[@r.f.pennington746]

@StayPositive-sd8op Didn't want us to look too bad...

[@serdorv4628]

Why woman don't ask such question? Better to born female

[@PraveenSrJ01]

@StayPositive-sd8opI agree

[@lowyoyo9961]

Husband was a sperm donor when we were in grad school. Once he made it through the extensive screening process, we'd go to the cryobank on campus twice a week and he'd make his deposit after a brief interview. As described above, it was simple and lighthearted. For his efforts, he'd earn approx a thousand$/month (tax-free) and we BOTH received thorough physical exams on a regular basis. Not bad for two starving students.

[@insanity6105]

What a coincidence, I too was a sperm donor in college. I guess the only difference was that all of my deposits were made at different locations, and the only compensation I received from it was a smile.

[@FactsandReelsForall]

Lol 😂😂😂

[@jthornt01]

Sometimes you would have buy dinner before making a donation.

[@kevindigo22]

And he now has how many children?

[@Photo_doctor]

​@@insanity6105 I didn't even know I could donate. All those years, what a waste! 😢

[@SilenceWillNotBeTolerated]

Well I have to admit thanks to watching you I just gave my sample , thanks again

[@KpxUrz5745]

Interesting that the lab encourages masturbation. My mom never encouraged it, and in fact said I would go blind if I did that. I told her I would stop when I needed glasses...

[@tommac21]

These are the funniest comments ever. I never laughed so pardon the pun hard.

[@jerrylanglois7892]

I didn't go blind but ended up with hair on my palm.

[@benjigray8690]

My Dad said "Don't pull it, it'll drop off when it's ripe."

[@Christian-zg1eg]

This is a funny comment. Lmao 😂

[@gerryfennelly3726]

I use Venus Milking machine to collect from guys.@@Christian-zg1eg

[@paulbroderick8438]

Following many attempts to get my former wife pregnant we both had complete physicals. She obtained a semen sample container from the clinic, and I provided the necessary contents. As demonstrated, my wife was instructed to keep the sample close to her during the short road trip.

[@odietamo9376]

I know it isn’t its purpose, but intentional or not this is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a long time.

[@tommac21]

Friggin hilarious

[@Laidengizer113]

I think you need to watch more comedy videos.

[@odietamo9376]

@@Laidengizer113 I think I found it so funny because the humor was unintentional.

[@Laidengizer113]

@@odietamo9376 It's just a medical video. I didn't think it was that unexpected or funny.

[@insanity6105]

Can she not just spit the sample into the container?

[@azmike3572]

Of course I thought the in-office sample would be collected just like it would be in adult movie versions.

[@tommac21]

She gets a million laughs out of this

[@twmlloyd5257]

hahah, priceless

[@jaya.0069]

At least a helping hand!

[@wiilover07]

LOL

[@markracer3281]

A sample from me would require additional stimulation from this nurse...🙂

[@jaya.0069]

A nice helping hand from Jennifer would be good!

[@GT_Racer347]

Yep

[@Laidengizer113]

You really want *that* nurse???

[@williamsonah5667]

Yikes... Tf is wrong with you?

[@jason60chev]

How about a prostate milking?

[@williampeterson2952]

Do they have extra large sample containers for guys like Peter North?

[@Mike-01234]

That was a nice room lot better then the room I was sent to at the local lab which was a bathroom just off the break room for the employees who worked at the lab. The bathroom door while it was strong and had a lock there was about 2" gap at bottom of the door where I could hear everything that everyone was talking about.

[@tommac21]

You forgot about the ladies peep hole.And hidden video camera

[@justsumguy2u]

Imagine being the person that has to clean the "production room"

[@ethang6735]

Id take that job over ER tech any day. A little semen and prolly some sweat in the production room, or cleaning up someone whos been so sick they have crapped themselves for 12 hours at home before coming in by ambulance... ill take the first, please! lol (im an EMT, so sorry to the ER techs who have to deal with the crap covered people I bring in... I only clean them up enough to not totally trash my rig)

[@justsumguy2u]

@@ethang6735 Can you hose them off, maybe spritz them with a little Febreeze?

[@gregorholmes1837]

It all goes in the shampoo bottle. Supposedly

[@jerrylanglois7892]

It works even better if you have the nurse watch.

[@LoneLee2022]

Maybe she can lend you a "hand".

[@jerrylanglois7892]

@@LoneLee2022 ...or two ?

[@LoneLee2022]

@@jerrylanglois7892 It takes two hands to handle a Whopper.

[@jerrylanglois7892]

@@LoneLee2022 ...and sometimes two women. Your turn...

[@LoneLee2022]

@@jerrylanglois7892 I'm at a loss for words.

[@bwhip]

"The Girl from Ipanema," playing in the Production Room. lol

[@Z3RN0]

"Hey, nurse! I could use some help over here..." 😂

[@Youtuber-tj9oz]

A masked man walked into a fertility clinic, walked up to the front desk, pulled out a gun and said to the woman behind the desk "Drink that sperm sample". The woman drank it, and then the man pulled off his mask. She was startled to see it was her husband, who then said "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

[@zcam7939]

Not funny. Dumb joke

[@Youtuber-tj9oz]

@@zcam7939 Not to you, perhaps. Lighten up.

[@TurdBoi666]

Lmao boomer humor. Skibidi toilet is better

[@IPlayOneOnT.V.]

So, I guess all those videos on the adult sites about this procedure seem to be inaccurate.

[@TimothyWiebe-v2y]

A famous personality went to the same clinic; and her pictures were on magazines in the mens room. Dreaded bumping into her!

[@user-sh9du2nv5y]

That pretty nurse would sure be helpful by lending a helping hand!

[@spankyharland9845]

he may be unavailable around lunch time.

[@ColAngus]

@@spankyharland9845 Ha! Goteem...haha

[@RP0415]

I love how they call it ‘The production room’ 😂😂

[@dreamthedream8929]

It's a masturbation room and they encourage masturbation there

[@truearmy1953]

Or more precisely Masturbation room?

[@dunhill1]

Back in the early 90's, as a poor college student in Gainesville FL, there was a bank like this where they would pay $50 per load. The first time I went there I was so nervous yet intrigued. The room was similar but darker and the TV had a VCR connected and a big book case full of dirty VHS tapes. I got so turned on I completely forgot about the blue cup and just unleashed a torrent of baby batter all over the floor and one rope hit the TV screen, knees buckling. After cleaning myself and regaining my composure, I walked out and the nurse followed me. I'm sorry but I left a mess in there and I didn't find a rolling bucket or a mop. Then she asked where my cup was. For a moment I forgot and said, "Was I supposed to use that cup? It didn't cum to my mind!" 🙂

[@David_Ferguson]

A rope, love it 😅

[@billsutorius2753]

Great story 👍

[@WilliamWaters-k3f]

thanks man, I just laughed so hard I hurt my chest.

[@WilliamWaters-k3f]

The number 1 story that cannot be beat!

[@najeebrahman4002]

funniest story😂

[@michaelhargrove5930]

I did an investigational drug study once for a mail pattern baldness drug and all i had to do was take the drug and once a week go provide a semen sample.Same lady every week sent me to bathroom with a container.There was a playboy and penthouse in the drawer if you needed it.I was quick and lady smiled and said see ya next week after i handed over the container.Easy money lol.

[@frankeasterling3402]

No!

[@blairsterling6141]

When I donated, the container overflowed. Then what ???

[@tommac21]

She has to lick up the residuals

[@LoneLee2022]

You were overcum?

[@blairsterling6141]

@@LoneLee2022 good one !!! 😂

[@gregorholmes1837]

Your not supposed to poo in it

[@tomryan914]

That was a thimble !

[@BillysFingers]

I wonder after the girl from ipanema music finishes.... and you finish.... if they play the message from supermarkets... cleanup in isle 4 for those like me that seem to get it everywhere but the intended target 😬

[@pedrocaballero1497]

Came her for the comments. Definitely not a disappointment. 💪💪💪💪💪

[@troyounce7935]

No lube, lol “ nurse do you have a bandaid “ I have blisters.

[@pwk22]

I did not realize you could collect at home. For sterility, if I boiled a pail, would that work?

[@smokeytwitchsmokey]

I thought this would be hands on learning

[@PraveenSrJ01]

I learned something new watching this

[@hipsterkennyrogers909]

My 18-year-old twins are IVF. It was a comfy room like they showed, but it was a little weird and took me a while to get going. My thought was: Wow, 30 years of practice... here's the money shot." By the way, the babies came out beautiful. DNA tests confirmed mom and dad. This because fertilization is done in a lab and who knows exactly what's going on back there. Oh, and they do let your SO accompany you to help if you want, but my wife was getting her eggs pulled and was under a sedative so probably wouldn't be much help.

[@tconnolly9820]

So, if after you had two beautiful healthy twins delivered and then it was discovered that the lab mixed up the samples with someone else's, would you want to send them back and get a refund? Or consider them a beautiful mistake that just doesn't have your DNA involved? And if your wife wanted to keep them and you didn't? Would you walk out and leave her because you couldn't bring yourself to rear a strange man's children? Serious questions. I'm not being funny.

[@frankeasterling3402]

Would be quite the law suite.@@tconnolly9820

[@pawelzielinski1398]

If you are unable to produce a sample, just ask for help! We will give you a hand!

[@Itssronzzz]

Myself and the entire village are ready to volunteer

[@jimhayden7132]

I didn't know people collected them, I have been just tossing them away

[@LoneLee2022]

Yeah, I've got 55 gallon drums of the stuff.

[@Christian-zg1eg]

They collected sperm cells because they inject women in v-a-g-i-n-a to become pregnant like subordinates. And everyone donates sperm cell has to pay money.

[@Laidengizer113]

@@LoneLee2022 No need to shell out a bunch of cash, ladies.

[@LoneLee2022]

@@Laidengizer113 I'll give it away!

[@kevindean394]

​@@LoneLee2022I'd like to have a drum full of it

[@Ralph2023_1A]

Serious curiosity question. If a man has a woman at the time he gives the sample, any issue with her helping this process? Would her hand or mouth potentially contaminate the sample for purposes of analysis at all?

[@Laidengizer113]

I never heard of them bringing a woman into the sample room, ha.

[@Ralph2023_1A]

@@Laidengizer113 I'm suggesting a process improvement 🙂

[@Laidengizer113]

@@Ralph2023_1A It might speed things up.

[@David_Ferguson]

Anything that causes less time spent in the medical environment should be researched

[@tconnolly9820]

Any contamination from anyone else in any way WILL compromise the sample. Your own hygiene is also important at the time of giving the sample. Also you should alert the staff if you are suffering from any illnesses or ailments at that time too.

[@buonafortuna8928]

I have platinum insurance. Do I still have to DIY?

[@JosephRochefort-g1l]

I am glad I never had to produce a sample. I know the medical people are professional. But it is still a bit embarrassing anyway because they know what you are doing to produce the sample.

[@BillyJohnson-vb7xt]

Miss I just produced a sample watching this video!

[@prakashnr4825]

😂

[@DickTracy-ox4uc]

Same here. It was a yuge sample! The biggest sample ever!

[@CB-bo3tm]

So why is there a big TV in the porducshion room?

[@michaelgiangiulio7090]

At my last exam the doctor asked for a urine , semen and fecal sample so I just handed him my shorts !

[@peterruff5810]

So you was walking around naked then.

[@DrXJ]

I'd have to say.. that production room is far better than my productivity room 😂 Also, swimmers were made with Windows!!

[@phillipsusi1791]

I was wondering why this was even a question. I mean isn't it obvious? You jack it into a cup. Getting the results out of the fertility clinic ( post vasectomy ) was much harder than "producing" the sample.

[@philiphatfield-ev4kj]

No Astroglide? My hands are like sandpaper. Forget it!

[@Arnold88887]

If we are not comfortable using our own hand to masturbate and require stimulation for semen collection, is it acceptable to ask a test taker for assistance with manual stimulation during the semen sample collection?

[@Laidengizer113]

There certainly are a lot of videos about it on the internet.

[@willo7734]

Yes, Big Ed will be with you shortly.

[@tedspence-f7i]

Yes only if she is good looking ....

[@mizzyroro]

Yes. They would let the guy nurse there help you. 😂

[@Arnold88887]

@@mizzyroro such a gay thought good for you! 👍👍👍

[@lbagwell9283]

Is it good idea to have sprem analysis before having a baby?

[@tommac21]

No it's not

[@marcchaffee7751]

yes , to make sure its human .

[@sams7426]

depends on family history

[@cerovk6000]

Bro do they really give you X material on that material to help you?

[@peteremmanuel3772]

All donors will be paying child maintenance.

[@coreytheisen6948]

No this medical clinic not a sperm donation

[@billbarden6663]

Do you have a larger container?

[@ix-Xafra]

And remember to use backhand to prevent sprayback...

[@chewy98ta28]

Jenni would be a lot more appreciated if she gave out handies instead of bottles to take home.

[@hardtruth2039]

Orally in our house.👍🏻

[@coreytheisen6948]

Salva no good good for sperm

[@nickpersenaire4443]

I wish it was that easy.

[@Dangermouse27]

Need a bed in these rooms, it's really awkward to fire your load into a pot when you are sat down with your nob pointing up. Laying on your side is much easier

[@henryfitch8710]

Speaking as a man, having some erotic material there depending on his sexuality might certainly help. The other thing may be to encourage the man not to ejaculate for a week before so that he produces a large sample. It works well for me at my age.

[@coreytheisen6948]

Just have the women give u the hand job that makes it easier

[@henryfitch8710]

@@coreytheisen6948 In our dreams!

[@willo7734]

I’m guessing that’s what the PC is for there in the production room. Now you too can produce a sample while watching Spongebob fanfic porn.

[@sams7426]

Well said

[@CarlosAlberto-ii1li]

So it is no good if you spit it out of your mouth into the container when i am there with you??

[@DennisBurke-l8u]

Help me out much better❤❤😊😊

[@MisterMarin]

1:30 Windows 10, Firefox, Google Chrome and Opera browsers? Shut up and take my sample! 😛

[@acatisfinetoo3018]

I seen other videos where they had magaizines on the table too...💀

[@deangerber1797]

Where's charlie? Thought he would be there!

[@DennisNelson-ee2il]

Don't use a coffee cup,especially if it's full of coffee I guess getting it into these containers is easy if your a slow dribbler,but if it shoots out.

[@bikedawg]

What happens if you accidentally eject sperm on the TV screen?

[@jaya.0069]

Call Jennifer with her Clorox wipes!

[@marcchaffee7751]

ya , you wish . lol

[@grahamdavies5634]

But my Clinic always thanked me when I brought them a free Coffee

[@mikerossman9863]

No one knows me better than me👍🏻

[@jorgetrevino2271]

One day I donated blood. The nurse came and took the blood out of me. Another day, I went to donate sperm, and the nurse refused to take the semen out of me. Life is complicated.

[@vg23air]

thats what i call my basement, the production room

[@markjulius2006]

What? Using a lubricant is not allowed?

[@coreytheisen6948]

What about counut oil or aloe vera gel. That alochol free

[@choreboy3906]

I've heard various stories. Why not?

[@r.prashanthabhi3756]

MADAM I WANY DONATE MY SEMEN ???

[@jonathanklopf7581]

nice collection room.

[@StephanieSomer]

Ya know, there are more fun ways to collect that sample. Jes sayin'.

[@pa.fishpreacher6166]

like what

[@StephanieSomer]

@@pa.fishpreacher6166 ;)

[@jaya.0069]

Care to lend me a helping hand?

[@StephanieSomer]

@@jaya.0069 Sure! Meet me at the corner.

[@dinogalvagno4809]

The container is to small.

[@jimpuff8409]

What is the reason for this? Why taking samples?

[@Eternal_Tech]

Semen samples can be used to conduct a sperm count and examination, which are often used in fertility tests.

[@prasantasahu5156]

8.6 lakh women appreciated 🙂

[@Connor-j7l]

😂😂😂....👍 a fair question, I thought..

[@joesolano4762]

Orally?

[@robertthomas5906]

Old joke. A real old man comes in. Gets the sample cup. Goes into the back. Comes to the nurse. I triiiiied with my left hand. I triiiied with my right hand. I couldn't get the top off.

[@diytwoincollege7079]

Coffee cup??

[@tomryan914]

"Was your hands and make me a cheese sandwich !"

[@rodadams2642]

I was told on the TV screen they watch the Three stooges.

[@joethecomputerguy1]

They need to provide a female nurse to assist IMO.

[@robertskelton2576]

That male who was taking the sample looks like he would gladly help.

[@colinl9018]

"Give us a hand please love"

[@gazratjackson]

What no hand crank 😳

[@Truth72500]

Should have a professional woman who gets paid big money to help men

[@MichaelKevin-z1n]

By your mouth!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@gregorholmes1837]

Oh a shampoo bottle. That’s what I was missing

[@blrenx]

Will they give you a hand?

[@jorgedeguzman3017]

Anyone know where she is from. I swear she is my neighbor!

[@paulsweeney5477]

Does the Nurse give a Hand 😮

[@NoName-zb1gm]

This is degrading for men.

[@LoneLee2022]

Men need to empty their balls.

[@terryderush2657]

Well said

[@2Truth4Liberty]

I know how I would like the samples to be collected, but not every nurse wants to come get it that way :-0) too punny

[@kb-3207]

Lol. Through self expression!

[@stalinsubbiah3238]

Myself aged 41. Married three years back and have no child. I don't find difficulty in relationship with my wife. Regarding fertility, iam unable to give sample of semen even ejaculate for two hours

[@rhinomite5203]

As captain of the glory hole, I approve this message

[@kevindean394]

I've collected alot at glory holes

[@kevindean394]

Oh I love glory holes. Kevin from wv

[@leonel9097]

How to produce

[@Pappy7064]

Reschedule the appointment? Give me 5 minutes.

[@MikeMercury]

no lady technician to help ?

[@timothyslaughter476]

Hand to hand

[@ianfrost1419]

I can tell you, but you have to watch😂 I and my wife have 3 Beautiful Girls thanks to IVF. ❤

[@jonbender9110]

Imagine you just used a coffee cup and some unsuspecting person thinking this cup is theirs and trys to take a drink. This will be real drama lol

[@gvbalajee]

can come and give