How being Face-Blind made it easier to see people | Fleassy Malay | TEDxMelbourne

[@raindixon358]

There's a lot of comments about her hair, and honestly I think she chose that style because it's very distinctive, and therefore makes her more recognizable to herself and people like her

[@JackDanyaKemplin]

I have this same thing, and yes it causes lots of problems with people thinking I am rude, self-centred, and don't care about them.

[@dianaarmstrong8820]

I have an acquaintance whom after years of knowing her casually, not closely, she admitted to me that she had face blindness. I never would’ve guessed it.

[@ericdary8421]

It’s easy for faceblind ppl to blend in.

[@antoinegabrielgirard2650]

Diana Armstrong ah, but still, I had a little the same thing but it was that the person had a brain disease at last that's what Miss Diana ^^ Nice picture is it you?

[@justayeet5905]

Yeah, I’ve got it and I forget people all the time. Sometimes it is pretty easy for us to blend in cause we learn how to bluff that we know people. Usually I have to wait for people to say the persons name for me to be able to remember them.

[@ZinebZ7]

that was literally the most sincere talk I've ever watched.

[@lunarcryptid]

Thank you for spreading awareness about face blindness. I'm both autistic and suffer from face blindness, and it is very difficult to be around people and in social situations when you can't remember who you know, and who you don't, and where you met them, and have to try desperately to figure out who you're talking to, and what defining feature they have so you can MAYBE but probably not remember them the next time you see them. It gives me severe social anxiety and makes me not want to leave the house. Thank you for what you're doing, so that maybe people will be more understanding towards people like us.

[@almudenamansoasensio3190]

Big HUG from San Sebastián,North Spain,europe

[@lunarcryptid]

@@almudenamansoasensio3190 thank you 😊

[@elssyj6614]

during my first year in the university, lots of people got offended when i can't remember them. so i started greeting everyone who wave at me. being friendly to anyone is the only 'front' that i can do to get away from an awkward situation

[@do3aoraby]

I do the same lol

[@TheSurajh]

Ted talk is one of the best talk show in the world, honestly I will be glad if Ted talk can be stage in my area.

[@jimnorthland2903]

Every member of my family for generations. Absolutely crippling social stigma. People have empathy for visual blindness. Humor for color blindness. Anger for face blindness.

[@dhirajctx]

Can't imagine the things she dealt with.. alone ... Inspired me alot ... Loved this talk

[@garrygballard8914]

This helps me understand that we all do this in one form or another by not connecting with people we meet in life. Others that come into our lives for a very specifics reason. When we don't value this, we miss things in life that are intended for us.

[@oceanographicscience9334]

She is a special & strong woman.

[@ChallengeTheNarrative]

She has to be being an Australian

[@lindseystillwell2393]

@@ChallengeTheNarrative she's not Australian. She's English, but has lived in Aus for many years.

[@tiwaladey5689]

I have face blindness and a lot of people. I know complain I pass by. Because I kept feeling bad I always try to smile at any person my eyes meets just in case I know them. Or I keep looking down so I don't meet anyone's eyes hoping they'll see me and say hi first so it wont look like I ignored them. The most confusing part of this thing is I can meet someone whom I can have a conversation with and I have no idea where I know them from or where I have ever met them. But I think this disorder has made me generally a nice person

[@barbarajoseph-adam8337]

I’d put my headphones on when I’m walking around even though I wasn’t listening to anything so that people don’t come up to or approach me.

[@robbiemcgee2944]

Such a great explanation, I just found out I have this condition about 2 years ago. I still struggle with the anxiety this causes, but knowing definitely helps me cope with it.

[@yennychusna]

Her journey of finding her way towards strength is inspiring and I believe so that take off mask can be applied to any aspect in life. It truly is liberating us from unnecessary weights. Thank you for sharing your life journey!

[@KushbyAdoki]

You offered me food on a train in Melbourne, was super friendly, this could explain it. Awesome for speaking about this!

[@diam0ndminer647]

I want a movie about someone with this disorder, I don’t know if that’s the right word

[@nurmeilinda2428]

beauty inside from korea

[@alisyed6809]

"Faces in the Crowd"

[@gisels.5769]

@@nurmeilinda2428 I was thinking about that 😅💕

[@pyramydseven]

I wish I had the time to write. Such a journey.

[@fredandmarysuesmith6812]

moo

[@junkheadrooster]

Thank you for sharing this. Grappling with the subconscious detachment I've been semi-intentionally doing as well, I feel like these thoughts will be remembered and pondered over for a while.

[@maculka999]

This happens to me so often, even with people whom i've known for 10 years or longer. Not always though, but it's put me in a few very weird situations. But generally, when I think about it now, it's the hair and body posture, the way people move that helps me recognize them. It feels so awkward only to talk about it.

[@Sunshine75616]

Same with me!

[@comedianmattrossey]

Wow, Fleassy, I didnt even know such a condition existed! An amazing presentation, because of honesty and truthfulness. We haven't met before, in case your wondering, but I would very much like to hear more about your condition and how it was diagnosed, it's very interesting!!! Hopefully by doing this TEDtalk, it freed you from your shame and has informed others that have the condition or know someone that has it, how to break free of the self imposed stigma you talked about. An incredible presentation!!!!!!!!

[@doqille]

when you click "Random" in creating character menu

[@PhilosophersStonePictures]

Complicated joke :)

[@abdulmujeebquick4452]

Lol you rude bruv

[@paulsaxberg6399]

I diggit. 'Random' doesn't usually work out this well, in my not so humble opinion. Also: screw conformity. Also: some of this may be consciously chosen, to make identifying herself easier for others with the same traits.

[@nohyaamande6070]

@@paulsaxberg6399 I have the same problem and same reflexes, my hair are also half cut, and my general style is recognisable easily and from far. I didn't meant it that way, but I suppose that it's "natural" for me to do what I exept the others would do (be recognisable), so strange look=logical!

[@reefk8262]

..when you assign all your points on other traits and have none left for Wisdom.

[@O-san4]

Wait, so my inability to recognize people is actually a good thing, but I had a lot of problem's caused by this though for example, I was required to memorize the full names of my senior officers, and I was actually required to greet them so I stopped going outside my room because of that Edit: well I didn't necessarily stopped going outside, I just avoided going outside

[@danon-theautisticmaker8112]

I really love her for be brave, for having the strength, and the quality of character to be vulnerable. To be seen as she truly are. She is the try of person that I would love to know & be friends with. Lol, even if I did have to remind & give hints every time saw her. :-)

[@bryrk]

I first found out about prosopagnosia from the book Holding Up the Universe and I instantly saw myself in it. It's terrifying but you find yourself being with the most interesting people, because they're the memorable ones

[@bobbyjackson8154]

The same thing happens, all the time lately, comes with aging.

[@rebeccashain5261]

Beautifully presented. Thank you!

[@yukin.2559]

What a coincidence that the recent videos from both Ted×Talks and Kurzgesagt taught me how important connection is. By the way, it was great to hear her story. It’s wonderful that although her experience of living with the condition is unique to her, she told us her story in a way anyone can relate to. Thank you for sharing the talk!

[@ivandejour9806]

Thank you so much this is what I go thru everyday.... I have a disorder called retinoschesis. Finally someone expressed what people like us have to deal with.

[@mycoffeemyday]

I got used to people being mad that I don't recognize them, even after working alongside folks for years. Got used to it. Honestly used to think remembering faces and math equations were superpowers. Live, learn, move on.

[@bratbabyp9370]

Brain DAMAGE. I was abducted in my 20's from New ORLEANS and brought up to OHIO. Took me several months to escape.when I made it back to civilization everyone was excited to see m3 again.for around 6 mths I had to pretend to know everyone before my memory returned due to head injuries.lots of hugs bc I knew I was a loving good person so most didn't realize.always be a good person it comes back to you.even if u think u haven't any friends, the worth is worth it

[@natanyat4901]

Hugs!

[@sarahthi]

I feel for you! I have it only very, very slightly and I already find it quite hard work! I had small panics about business meetings and networking. But my brain seems to compensate for this by remembering stories about, and conversations with, people very well so as soon as I know who they are, I can recall things about them and previous conversations.

[@CrystalShaulis]

Prosopagnosia squad checking in.

[@joemoment-o1275]

Kinda an oxymoron don't you think?

[@tiwaladey5689]

Right here

[@barbarajoseph-adam8337]

Here.

[@ChallengeTheNarrative]

Hiya 😊oh 😯

[@ericdary8421]

Hi!!!!!

[@hugglescake]

I have "selective face blindness." I also have "What's your name?" "Where am I?" "What's for breakfast?"

[@gqh007]

It’s dinner time dude

[@ChallengeTheNarrative]

Potato

[@sunnyjohansen1958]

Well done! Appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! This was incredibly moving and inspiring and informative! Thank you for sharing yourself with us! 💓

[@Ajumi-]

i hate when people tell me „you really should know him/her, you‘ve met him/her already“ .... people don’t understand that i‘m not only „bad with faces“ i‘m faceblind. I‘m still with the „you know everybody-tecnique“. I also do tell people i‘m faceblind. Sadly most people can’t imagine how this affect my life. Most people just answer „ah i‘m bad with faces too“. They’re still shoked when i cant recognice them in a different situation.

[@Sukhinov]

I have this condition, and I can say that prosopagnosia is not a problem. It is a gift. Because it acts as a filter against bad people. Against people who do not allow me to be myself. They do not allow me to not recognise them. They classify my neutral “non-recognising” behavior as something directed against them. They call me rude, self-centered, egoistic. Why should I have relations with such people?

[@jangraveson8423]

Courageous. Intelligent. Thank you for sharing. I have this condition too.

[@ericdary8421]

So, kind of like my brain injury. I used these techniques when I couldn’t remember who people were, and I remembered different recognizable parts of people. It was annoying at first but eventually I learned to love it.

[@stashawashburn]

Honoring your vulnerability. Thank you for being real and sharing your story!

[@brittanyklein2990]

Thank you for your tips... I have this as well and struggle big time when someone cuts their hair (my biggest identifier)!

[@nohyaamande6070]

I have this problem too, and I "learned" so well that I was unable to recognise people that when I met a pair of twins one day, I just assumed that I was just assuming that I thought they looked the same as EVERYONE looks the same for my brain, so I was very surprised to learn they REALLY looked alike. And they were surprised I didn't realised they were twins. In this kind of situations, by brain hurts.

[@nickandchrismom]

I love Ted Talks, this one was a favorite because it was so interesting. Never heard of this disorder but I agree connectivness is important. Wow! Good stuff ❤

[@BOT-dv9lz]

My son could not read facial expressions in his childhood. This made him freak out, get scared, unsafe and unsocial just when looked at. This was a nightmare at school.

[@deepakdhyani1693]

So from today onwards I will assume that all the people who ignored my smiling face towards them were suffering from this disorder lol :-p

[@sarvaise]

DEEPAK DHYANI i felt this

[@dalepetersen6533]

she looks like she's desperate for attention.

[@shadowsun5704]

It’s about 20% of the population. So it not a bad guess

[@helenlambert1699]

@@shadowsun5704 The latest research is that it's 2-2.5%, and that's across populations in different parts of the world too, so not really 20% there....

[@elontusk8018]

Shadow Sun yeah, definitely not %20

[@Ray_Baker_0]

Incredible speech! I believe with health comes connection. I will speak on a TED stage in the future! I will work to help people understand, they don’t have a problem. Rather, they are unable to interrupt their own solutions as helpful, just in need of some direction.

[@Ray_Baker_0]

Allowing individuals to quit being so hard on themselves! Not creating excuses, rather providing meaningful that creates a constructive plan for improving what they personally find valuable!

[@Aurelia2147]

I’m the opposite: I remember faces so well that I sometimes greet strangers that I’ve perhaps seen once before walking past me in the streets. But names... I’m so horrible at remembering names... how can that be so hard?

[@Nancysoulshine]

Very interesting topic!! Must have been so difficult for you; but look at how you have grown as a person!!😊

[@Mosaic_Crone]

Very inspiring & insightful. You "Live As Art" & you do so quite beautifully.

[@FleassyMalay]

thank you

[@heinrichstreintz2852]

super!! very touching personality!

[@bossysmaxx3327]

now I understood the video..... Man. It changed my perspective of observing people arround me.................. . . . . . *Now I hate 'em all*

[@11221jomey]

Don't cut yourself with that edge

[@bonniecamo6836]

I need to meet a person at least 3 times before I can remember them. And if I don't see them for awhile, or see them out of context, I don't recognize them. I think this is part of my Aspergers, which I didn't realize I had until my 60s. Since my husband and I are retired, we are usually together. He talks to everyone, and I am always asking him, "Who was that?" I also have what I and others have called "dysmappia", an inability to find my way around, even in the small town I've lived in for 10 years. I always hated driving, because I would get lost easily, and there was no GPS , or cell phones in those days. Driving on highways was a nightmare, and I arranged my life to drive as little as possible, eventually working from home. He does all the driving now.

[@pyramydseven]

Some parallels here. Very young stroke survivor, life support, gut wrenching decisions made, unnerving procedures performed, miraculously she started coming around bit by bit 45 days later. I was by her side the whole time. Twenty-three years, we have been together, married for most of it. After a tremendous amount therapy, it became apparent that she did not actually recognize me. The stranger that slept on the couch in her room was pretending to be me. LONG story... It was a glorious day when she was finally able to recognize who I was. Extremely emotional for both of us. It is going to be longest road of/to recovery. Whatever that looks like. And I will remain, by her side. Life is too short, and too fragile.

[@natanyat4901]

You are amazing and she is lucky to have you. I am a stroke survivor.

[@pyramydseven]

@@natanyat4901 Oh, well thank you. Prayers/good vibes your way. I'm lucky to have her too. I'm positive someone in your life feels the same way. Chin up!

[@megd7593]

Brave and beautiful. Thank you!

[@KimCarmenWalsh]

Wonderful talk 💘 thank you!!

[@quasar7683]

I heard about this condition for the first time when Joe Scott talked about it.

[@JeremyHen]

Wow, I just made a realization that I wear this"mask" a lot, but more in a way that I want people to think positive of me in which I might actually be lying. This attracts the wrong people in your life..

[@SoldAt1stSite]

I know how you feel. The best thing to do is to tell everyone. I put a yearly reminder post on Facebook.

[@leahparker9033]

I just did that! Waiting for some interesting replies now.

[@FleassyMalay]

thats a great idea!

[@sojournern]

courageous! Thanks!

[@karinlarsen2608]

I had no idea that's a thing. I'm almost 70 and this is the first I've heard of face blindness. I think I have a degree of it. I've always said I need to know someone's story before I can recognize them. I've been embarrassed so many times when people say , ' Oh yes, we already met.' I love this story so much ❤

[@unleashingpotential-psycho9433]

We should look at who are person is and not focus on what they look like. 🔥

[@LittleMilkJug]

This has nothing to do with how pretty/ handsome someone is...

[@voltgene9055]

Your name just makes the whole comment better.

[@leahparker9033]

It makes it easier to know who a person is if first you know who they are.

[@ericdary8421]

I think I’m face blind, it doesn’t happen all the time though, so I’m not sure.

[@bellatellsyou]

Eric Dary same ! I can recognize people who I have/ had some particular connection. But I would say I cannot recognize 85% of people I meet in the daily basis.

[@nohyaamande6070]

@@bellatellsyou This problem can appear with various intensities, I can easily recognise someone with a big face tatoo. Or someone with whom I've spent hours talking to for several years. But my teachers and classmates? Nah. Only some of them. And I think that's why I'm attracted to "strange looking people", they are the ones I'll be able to recognize.

[@nancyoffenhiser4916]

Take the face blindness test you can find it online.

[@ericdary8421]

nohya Amande “I can easily recognize someone with a big face tattoo”. Just then, Mike Tyson walks by.

[@Twosies20]

Context clues can help skirt around not recognizing people. You really get thrown off when you meet someone you normally recognize, but completely out of the normal context.

[@valentinogeorgievski]

I feel you, I have simular problem, I need to be real close to somebody to recognize, but I also quickly forget people that I meet briefly and many remember me because I am active in public and social seen. I had people often teling me that sometimes I pretend they are invisible. It is my damaged eyes problem and it sacks because most folks don't know that, so they feel being ignored by me on purpouse. Thanks for sharing your story!

[@gertrudelaronge6864]

Thank you!

[@sainaboujallow3762]

THIS IS SOO BRAVE

[@nintendoc6]

Her outfit is really cool.

[@garrygballard8914]

Bravo Fleass. And thank you. 😘

[@AtheistEve]

Yeah, I have this to an extent. Plus, when I’m out I’m focused on what I’m doing not people around me, so I’ve blanked people I know really well who have even addressed me in the supermarket/street.

[@strategicowl192]

Luckily (?) it's not that bad for me. I can recognize people's faces, but it's difficult for me to picture them. In addition to being bad at remembering names, meeting people I met a while ago and forgot about can lead to some interesting situations. Most of the names might ring a bell but that's all. But on the other hand, I'm good at figuring out how people really are. Edit: I'm also really bad at recognizing people by their voice, especially over discord

[@ricksancheese3817]

People with aphantasia can't or have difficulty imagining images. You might have it if you can't picture things in your mind.

[@endlesslove5543]

Great lecture I liked it a lot

[@candysantillo3325]

The struggle is real . My grandmother slapped my mother for walking by her. I m so sorrowful that you must endure this

[@ummyousuff]

I find it hard to remember faces that I don't see regularly.. I tend to forget some faces more than others..

[@mistypuffs]

I’ve had very similar experiences. Thank you for speaking ^^

[@ericdary8421]

She’s got nice hair, tho!

[@pennygretch]

...{B:(/)

[@alanam4978]

i first learnt about prosopagnosia from the book ‘Holding Up The Universe’ by Jennifer Niven

[@S0dap0pb0ttle]

This was so beautiful ^.^

[@ronzy566]

Matrix high school called, they want their band teacher back.

[@nishapela2337]

I don't have a severe prosopagnosia but it takes me some time to remember faces like I seriously have to tell my brain "SO TRY TO MEMORIES THEIR FACIAL DETAILS..."

[@marilynbarker8255]

I understand.

[@healthhavencom]

Amazing person.

[@forevertees]

Great story!

[@phillipkopp5809]

I have a form of this. I didn't even know it was a thing until I saw it on a news show. It's very embarrassing to introduce yourself to someone at a party that you have met in a previous social situation. My girlfriend and I have worked out a technique that if someone comes up and starts talking to me who obviously knows me that I don't recognize she will take the initiative to introduce herself so that they will say their name and I will then know who they are. There was a guy that worked at a local store that I spoke to probably a hundred times. He then began working at a different store and I didn't recognize him until I saw his tattoo.

[@javasparkles7330]

If I had a dollar for every “I’m sorry. I know that I know you, but....” I could freaking retire.

[@polymophous1704]

Respect.

[@honigkuchenpferdchen419]

Rami?

[@polymophous1704]

@@honigkuchenpferdchen419 What??

[@honigkuchenpferdchen419]

@@polymophous1704 Ich habe Deinen Post hier unter dem Video gefunden, weil ich an Prosopagnosie leide. Dein Kanalname, Dein Foto und Deine Playlist und Dein Kanalinfo haben mich an jemanden erinnert, den ich mal sehr sehr lieb hatte und er mich auch. Aus verschiedenen Gründen haben wir uns aus den Augen verloren. Danach habe ihn immer wieder nicht erkannt, weil ich ihn an diesen Orten nicht erwartet habe. Mich nimmt das richtig mit. Ich habe ihm jetzt einen Brief geschrieben und wünsche mir so sehr, dass er sich bei mir meldet und wir uns endlich wiedersehen.

[@wearealljustclowns]

Use face recognition software? Google glass?

[@enzaaar8434]

I also have this. Not with people I know well - I don’t know any of my neighbors even though I’ve lived in the same house for 10 years. I speak to them when they’re outside their house because I can associate the house but I hate the idea of being at the local shops or something and them thinking I’m snubbing them. I don’t recognise my son’s friends outside of 3 kids that come over - I certainly have no idea what their parents look like as I don’t speak to them often. I don’t know how to overcome this with acquaintances and people in my community - it’s a little lonely and plenty embarrassing for me.

[@lostathenian1836]

It's all well and good until your girlfriend comes up to you wearing makeup and you don't recognize her. I've had two breakups from this.

[@ericdary8421]

There’s a place called sky stage near my house and I want to set up a Ted Talk there.

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

Eric Dary That sounds wonderful!

[@ericdary8421]

I just need to figure out how.

[@ericdary8421]

I did the ‘pretend to know everyone ‘ thing after my car accident and subsequent brain injury.

[@esteeinsweden]

I recognise this, you are talking about me..

[@dragonsclaw63]

I've always had this same problem and I randomly talk to strangers as well who speak to me by the off chance I know them because so many times people recognize me but I don't them so I pretend or I think I know them and start talking to them only to realize I don't then my family will ask who was that and all I can say is I have no clue. I didn't know it was an actual condition, I always assumed I just had issues.

[@justayeet5905]

I always thought it was normal or I just wasn’t paying attention, but my brother was sharing about a podcast he listened to where he found out he had it, and I realized that I had a lot of the same stuff. I usually just smile at people or wave a little and walk slowly and hope they don’t speak to me..

[@King_Fred_II]

I have that same condition, but a mild form. I recognize the people that I saw 100x before, but I never recognize someone that I meet for the second time. Sometimes people can't understand why I can't remember a face. Well, I managed to find a way to explain: Bar-codes are all different. But if I show you 5 of them, telling you which product they're associated with, and then I show you one of them, you won't be able to tell which one it is. Well, to me faces are as different from each other as bar-codes.

[@ikewhite6832]

I used to work in the retail industry. It was real fun, I would meet someone once and then again and again... some of them got angry at me, because I had already greeted them. Fun times!

[@ms.lillie1628]

Wow I felt this

[@edi9892]

Interesting. I struggle with facial recognition a lot too. I do recognise faces, but many just look the same to me. You can imagine it like playing an RPG, where most character models are reused for NPCs and just put in different attire. However, I can draw faces with near photographic precision, but I can´t remember the details, just like most can´t remember the page of a book, letter by letter, but only its approximate content. I don´t know if it´s related, but I can´t maintain eye-contact either. For one, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, like an intrusion in my privacy, like someone groping me, but the important thing is, that I can´t force myself to maintain eye contact and focus on a discussion at the same time.

[@valerie4918]

The story of my life

[@MultiPerlos]

Hello Fleassy, thank you for your contribution in tedtalks about prosopagnosia. I learned a lot from you about myself and am also very happy with the tips such as good agreements with your partner. I am 57 years old and only now do I know what is bothering me. I wonder if prosopagnosia, dislexcy and lazy eye have to do with each other. is there possibly a connection ??? Is there anyone who can say something about this?

[@leahparker9033]

For me, not dyslexic, no lazy eye, but sample size = 1.

[@peggyharris3815]

I wonder if hypnosis (past-life regression) could contribute benefically in understanding this condition? If it did, that would be equally as fascinating.

[@kaisa6849]

wow that also exists ... good to know happy am healthy hope she wouldn't be depressed about it .

[@arrudafernando5310]

Fantástico!!

[@juanaguilar1637]

Yes

[@arrudafernando5310]

Ótima oradora parabéns

[@Kloretodepotacio]

what an amazing woman, guys uaaaaauuu

[@rosemarilynpelera7322]

I went because im watching beauty inside drama