The art of being yourself | Caroline McHugh | TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen

[@crazyhairedjess]

My mom always said, “if you only knew how little time people everyday spend thinking about you, you would stop worrying about it”.

[@blankshaliburton277]

I thought she is going to disapparate after finishing the speech .

[@Apaulshi]

I've heard something similar... Something like "You would think very little of what others think of you if you thought of how very little they thought of you"

[@jimenatorres4866]

English is my second language, so I’m glad you have wrote this down because I couldn’t understand exactly the words, so thank you for doing it.

[@michelleburt3468]

My mother said something very similar. She said " What makes you think you're so important everyone is thinking about or looking at you? Until those people pay your bills their opinion doesn't matter"

[@RaeZoladawn777]

hahahah

[@diannemdaniels]

"Most of us don't take up nearly the space the universe has intended for us."==> THAT. RIGHT. THERE.

[@minagoldenshteyn9128]

Univers 😉?

[@Fillup82]

She said it so low key too and it's huge.

[@SisMaria1]

My most exhilarating moments have been, when I've stepped out my self imposed box.

[@hopetrnr0]

Weird. I scrolled upon this comment right as she was saying it.😳

[@ericktucker1983]

Beautifully said

[@meghname4005]

"People who are afraid to be themselves, will work for those who aren't afraid"

[@dotunn]

that one hit me

[@kousiish]

I just read this comment at the exact same moment she said it.

[@elmondo-s1e]

This also resonated with me. I’ve spent the last 4 or 5 months deeply troubled by how much I know I struggle working for other people when I know I would be better on my own doing MY thing. This talk has helped me start to unlock how to make that possible. I can tackle the fear 😊

[@sylerknight7280]

@@elmondo-s1e I feel absolutely the same way, I know that struggle well! I am so happy to have found this talk too because it is like a light-bulb turning on, it all makes sense as to why. My work history has been rather unreliable and sporadic. only last at a workplace for 6months, max 1year in the same job. and i know that i am capable to run my own thing, just need the confidence in myself. Good luck to everyone on this never ending journey.

[@saaniyahsajed1932]

that line stunned me.

[@oleksandrlevenets3011]

41, got fired 8 months ago, still have no job, rediscovered myself, feel happy as never have been. Bless you all!

[@josephproskauer8210]

It is said that whenever a friend reported enthusiastically, "I have just been promoted!" Jung would say, '"'I'm sorry to hear that; but if we stick together, we can get through it." If a friend arrived depressed and ashamed, saying, "I've just been fired," Jung would say, "Let's open a bottle of wine; this is wonderful news; something good will happen now." (Told by Robert Bly)

[@oleksandrlevenets3011]

@@josephproskauer8210 Ha-ha, thank you!

[@AskYaMommyBoutMeBoi]

@@josephproskauer8210most of your friends be like Jun?

[@vigour3899]

I read that in Jung's voice.

[@beckenduval8011]

@@josephproskauer8210I don’t think she get it

[@space_ghost1994]

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” - Amazing

[@hanneliejonas9021]

Brilliant quote by C.S. Lewis

[@HayabusaOrlando]

I wrote that down. 👍🏼

[@sevrinaanastasia]

@@HayabusaOrlando I'm writing it down too! I've been on a journey of self-discovery the past year (age 31) after my grandma (my rock) passed away and though it's difficult sometimes missing her I've learned SO much about myself. She had always told me things I never understood, but the past year I've been learning and understanding myself more than I ever had before. :-)

[@loli3939]

CS Lewis summed up Christ's life well.

[@Lovo369]

So much truth in this Ted talk

[@marianabarrios1857]

One of the best days of my life was when I realized people aren't really paying attention to me all the time

[@skeptikoky]

mariana barrios love it

[@matthewcoombs3282]

Good comment. If you live for others opinions you are most likely to remain unhappy.

[@jsn883]

Think about your own headspace. Easily 80% of your thoughts are about you and your own current challenges - maybe only 5% is really spent thinking about others.

[@matimbantimane3170]

How I wish to get there

[@natashawagner2236]

@@matimbantimane3170 I agree!

[@lottiemiller9292]

I know this was released years ago and no one's going to see this, but i'm 13 and I feel so fortunate to have found this. I'm struggling to understand myself and my feelings and who I am, and this is really really helpful. It reminds me of something my uncle said, something along the lines of "the things you need most come from yourself and only yourself". I rejected it at the time, but now I know it's true. I want to be myself and not an impersonation of what I think people will like, and I know it won't be easy, but it's one of the things I think the universe wants everyone to do no matter where they are. If anyone's reading this, I hope they can recognize themselves for who they truly are and be as individualistic as they can. goodbye edit: I can't believe how many responses I got. I thought no one would read this and it would just be something i'd look back on, but thank you all very much for your kind words. I'm more motivated now than ever! thank you so much.

[@_justlikejulia]

amazing perspective, xo keep being you!

[@lisgnell]

‘I want to be myself and not an impersonation of what I think people will like.’ So hard to do for any of us but especially for a teenager. Best of luck to you, young smart kid.

[@dearyouhealingyoga]

Lottie Miller :)

[@EJTTN]

Lottie Miller You seem to be a very smart individual. I was in very similar shoes at the age of 13. Now looking back I realize, in fact much of everyone else was trying to figure out just who they were too!...You’re not alone in trying to figure these things out. Stay true to you. Only you know what that means or how that looks. Someone once told me and it still resonates with me, even at my age, 36. “Don’t let anyone else define who you are.” Who we are as individuals at age 13 might be the same at age 14, 16, 25, or 36. Or, maybe who we are will change many times between now & then...either way is perfect. There’s no rule book or recommendations in learning yourself and the beauty is....You are in charge of that so you have the free will to change it as much or as little as you wish. Best of luck to you, you’re a special soul. Remember, “Don’t let anyone else define who you are.” Sending positive energy and hugs your way!

[@mayalianne]

Bravo Lottie! You're on the right path.

[@sarrveshwaran2222]

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is thinking about yourself less" So many people need to hear this beautiful line 💙✨

[@toomylight2311]

I love that quote from mother Teresa!❤️❤️

[@gherieg.1091]

@@toomylight2311 Read the Bible ... it’s got all The Best Quotes. Not only Best, but they are Life Giving.

[@breal6718]

THATS SO SERIOUSLY GOOD

[@leticiafernandez5300]

@@toomylight2311 [⁹⁹8th in ⁹Ii⁰00⁹and

[@yeseniacarabantes9306]

🤯

[@yulianaquinones4494]

Did anyone else think about how that outfit is EVERYTHING?!!?

[@nikeraje247]

yes, it is a dope outfit!

[@nikichem]

I love her outfit where can I get one in red?

[@ace-fz4zn]

A SERVE. A LOOK.

[@yulianaquinones4494]

。・:*: ace ・:*:・゚ couldn’t have said it any better

[@yulianaquinones4494]

Shalom Sixta yes but independent of that fact it is still a LEWK

[@johnwilson8564]

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Btw your jacket is fire 🔥🔥🔥

[@crypthor2008]

uf

[@uztuben3]

John Wilson right?! Loving the jacket!

[@heeeeyjai]

John Wilson right!!?????

[@BladeRunner-td8be]

I've never seen a jacket like that. It over-the-top for someone saying the words you quoted. I wonder who she was thinking of she decided to wear that jacket.

[@rachelfreeders356]

Lol the jacket is... silly to me I spent the first few minutes trying to figure out if shes pregnant or has a deformity

[@aminelmi2339]

She's definitely one of the teachers from the Defence Against the Dark Arts courses

[@deviritter5232]

Or Transfiguration 🧙🏻‍♀️

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Or, she teaches The Dark Arts

[@4u2cbu]

By u in

[@shafirar.a.m.4415]

ikr, i love her sense of fashion.

[@jarrodyuki7081]

jk rowling sucks.

[@caitlink9374]

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. you need to accept yourself.” Thich Nhat Hanh

[@ericktucker1983]

(Be you too full)=beautiful so full your overflowing making all that’s around you beautiful as yourself!!!

[@flute9354]

“From the age seven you become less good at being yourself” so true

[@emilyflores9844]

That's so sad

[@niauser2684]

Public school dims your creativity and your light!

[@LaGuera2858]

Couldn't have said it any better. It's the terrible truth we all live.

[@sheebakitty378]

That's false on its face. You can only be yourself. Even if pretending to be someone else. It's just you pretending. Lol. More self aware but no less you.

[@edwardseverinsen5598]

@@sheebakitty378 It depends on how you define self. If it's your ideas, thoughts, sense of humor, beliefs and passions then you certainly can be something other than yourself. And it's usually for the sake of another persons perception of yourself.

[@heizie88]

Why is no one is talking about how beautiful her voice is and how well she articulated everything? I feel so calm after listening to her. I could listen for hours it seems like. Of only she had an audio book or something.

[@amiborabee]

@Sum Suman ?

[@amiborabee]

yeah, ikr. She was amazing, I feel so calm and at ease. Beautiful message and beautiful speech

[@yugao12]

I really hoped one of the comments was saying she did have one...

[@GoFree33]

I'm from Glasgow too and have this accent. I always hated it but now I'm coming to see it for the beauty it has. A lot of people struggle with their Scottish accents early on in life and get punished for having strong ones in school.

[@Martine1love]

She is so AMAZING!!

[@nicolap4880]

I can't believe the audience aren't laughing more, she has a wicked sense of humour

[@1lightheaded]

+Nicola Price I don't think they are getting her humour . You ever been to Glasgow? It has improved since I first saw it in 68 but Glaswegians are culturally as hard as nails .

[@sohinidutta97]

Agreed!

[@anneeisnerkarp6746]

+Sohini Dutta I agree- so funny!

[@sacreddreamalchemy]

I think it has to do with the microphone recording mostly her voice and it only picks up the loudest of the laughter.

[@kristinasportal]

Right!!!! I very much enjoyed this!!!! Shes awesome! I will follow her work as I can!

[@merry-lynnallison3002]

I listen to Ted Talks everyday, and I can honestly say this is one of the best. I think I'll listen to this on again. Thank you for this. My Grandmother always said to me, me. People don't think about others as much as you think. They are way to busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about you. What others think about you DOES NOT MATTER. It's what you think about yourself that matters.

[@iceandflowers]

So true!!

[@MARYANNE269]

What I say to people who are anxious about what others think.. its so true.. I learnt this from my mother. X

[@ReginaLynnThomas]

You just typed the true meaning of life I do beleave . Regina 2023

[@LemonOlga]

Thank you and your grandmother. My dear grandparents told the same. They love me - it was a bliss.

[@MillenialWanderer]

This is hard when you don’t believe in yourself and struggle with self esteem. I hope to let go and just be me.

[@dailybreak4123]

If you are reading this, i wish you the best in life :)

[@RasMajnouni]

"May those who bless others also be blessed"

[@sebvansteijn7227]

@@RasMajnouni It's not 'may'... If you bless others... You're blessed... It's a given.

[@unsuspectingdogwalker4028]

Thank you and for you as well! :-)

[@janinesatioquia8881]

thank you, i wish you the best too

[@alinegleice6280]

Thank you :) you too

[@JustmeSEVEN]

So in conclusion, to be yourself is to acknowledge your weaknesses and strengths, and accept them, appreciate them, embrace them, and cultivate them. You enjoy someone's advantages rather than seeing it as a threat to your flaws. You don't compare because you know that life is not all about you, you're not the center of other's mind, you just simply live life doing your work and being happy with your relationship with others. Edit: you're welcome;)

[@cubbybear8322]

Well summarised!

[@cal4318]

Thank you for this beautiful summarization.

[@jarrodyuki7081]

this is a plane governed by multiple dimensions.

[@jasminemonroy1722]

I love this :)

[@farooquisheesh4414]

Thnkew for the conclusion its seems u r good speaker ... And a motivator

[@ianwilliams4516]

"people who are frightened to be themselves, will work for those who arent afraid." that really struck a note with me...

[@sunnybloodworth9950]

Ian Williams same here

[@ArtyMars]

Yeah. Blew my mind.

[@sherri-leedunlop4382]

M

[@JaIch9999]

Ian Williams And it is completely entirely wrong. In this capitalistic system it is those with more scruples who work for those with less or no scruples. This system rewards criminal and cold blooded people. And her lecture is all together not very well thought through and focuses very much on success. It sounds good on the surface and is presented with a soothing voice. But it is a actually a lot of hot air, mainstream spiritual BS, unscientific and contradictory.

[@AngelTacha87]

@@JaIch9999 But somehow you sat there amd watched the full 26min and 23 secs of the video AND proceeded to read comments and leave a comment as well. When you realize something is B.S. you don't give it a second thought, you immediately dismiss it move on to other things.

[@voir___]

“I’m never the center of attention. You’re the center of Mine.” Love this.

[@Raven-nr4oi]

But then I can’t help thinking about birthday parties like how do you redirect the attention to everybody else? at least for the singing part, I guess it gets easier when you’re older and maybe there are fewer traditional parties

[@happylion18]

"I'm not the center of attention, you're the center of my attention." That's going to change the way I look at everything.

[@bernieabromaitis5202]

This is as huge as the change from earth-centric to helio-centric. It shifted my world ✨🧚‍♀️

[@doshinall]

This mindset has helped me tremendously as a customer service rep. I developed more patience and compassion for those that I serve.

[@PriyaTiwari-bx2yp]

I could not connect with this, how you people are using this in your daily life. Can anyone explain a little bit please

[@happylion18]

@Bella Dama I took it more as directing your focus away from how you are being perceived, and turning it toward whatever you're doing.

[@happylion18]

@priya tiwari sorry, I didn't see this notification. As a socially anxious person, it was helpful to change my focus away from how people are perceiving me and onto whatever it is I'm doing.

[@arsharahmadhani5193]

“Everybody has their own strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers, and hers could never compare to mine.”

[@taramoore2424]

Arsha Rahmadhani perfect quote 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼👍🏼🙏🏼💚🔥🌻

[@daphnebernues2624]

Yes but later she compares Ghandi's message of life with hers and others... I think she had a conceptual lapsus.

[@natalipohl]

What was the name of the artist in the video, who said that please?

[@sorinaremote3966]

@@natalipohl Jill Scott

[@dotdashdotdash]

queendom? wtf

[@ufayad]

Great speech, but can we also talk about how amazing her outfit is? It’s iconic

[@luvospambo6612]

It's sooooo dope

[@johnmorpheus120]

Huh? Are you serious? Lol

[@coolygirl11122]

I was looking for this comment

[@missinsertmyname]

She's trying to break us out of the matrix.

[@707Dove]

I was hoping someone would have commented on who the designer of her outfit is by... beautiful!

[@beverlyraymond3317]

I'm so happy that when I was 29, a single mother and attending college for the first time, I decided, I was tired of being someone's daughter, sister, mother, wife and I decided to find out who I am, what I me personally like. I wasn't always easy, but as I found myself, I became happier. I am 56 now, I had decided back then, I don't care what other's think of me, and I taught myself to realize in the grand scheme of things, I am more important to myself than I am to anyone one else. I learned to love myself, worry less about what someone might be thinking about me and I am happy. I taught myself to say, who cares what they think, they don't pay my rent or bills.

[@yes7855]

“In the grand scheme of things, I’m more important to myself than I am to anyone else”. That’s a lovely sentence, thanks! Wish you well ❤️💖

[@HeatherLaurenCo]

I would love to know more about how you navigated that journey. I have decided to do something similar but I’ve stalled out. I don’t know if what I like is because I like it or because someone else likes it and I want to be like them….if that makes sense.

[@nitin_sailesh]

👍✨️

[@SanaaDiab]

C Bv B Fb B B Fb FGB B nab B

[@MarshmilloJB]

Beverly, I’ve found you ☺️ another woman who is tired of being someone’s daughter, girlfriend, and all the other social roles.

[@SourEggz]

I have to say... this woman has a wonderful message. Also, her sense of style is impeccable.

[@ahmadanderson8645]

absolutely

[@BarryAi]

Very much agreed, Sour Eggz.

[@SourEggz]

BarryA Thank you. I didn't realize my comment had so many likes... 😊 I love this video!

[@nicolochanleo5730]

Sour Eggz can never go wrong with black

[@almacz6074]

That makes the difference, we got a message, some people just got someone to judge... I love her speech

[@rincentvanuggh1911]

In this area I feel quite gifted with autism. My autism prevents me from being able to pretend to be someone else, or to even want to be someone else. It's just not a thing I can think and thought that's made my life hard in some ways (bullying mostly) I'm glad to have the gift of authenticity.

[@natashacloutier3285]

Wow that is revealing. The gift of authenticity is what we wish to attain without even knowing it. And then here you are! Thank you and many blessings to you 💗🌎

[@aaxen7255]

Good attitude.

[@michouvansluis4539]

This has probably already been said, but I think she was trying to point to the space that you don't take up in the world. Who knows how much space you can fill by being you

[@sickbabyratt9614]

Yes!

[@hopelove6658]

My son is the same way.

[@andumay853]

“People who are afraid to be themselves work for people who aren’t afraid to be themselves”‼️‼️‼️‼️ wow

[@Relle.]

FULL STOP

[@user-tv1kw4wl7t]

TRUTH.

[@kayumochi]

Yep. When I heard that I came up with a half dozen people I worked for who were not afraid to be themselves.

[@slindilengcobo3235]

María Elizabeth Cruz Flores Im setting a reminder to listen to this in a year’s time.

[@jeaninelanza981]

THIS IS SO TRUE! Its because people who are too afraid to be themselves are ashamed and would never go through that path to be their own boss

[@gabrielaalencar5517]

This is the most beautiful talk I've ever watched. Such rich lessons, such a soothing tone. And she looks stunning. One can see her life is her message alright. I'm really grateful for all the plataform/channel/everyone that made possible for a girl in Brazil with a cellphone on her hand to receive this amount of wisdom from a stranger. Thank you.

[@suzibrewster1290]

Wow, I think that you are amazing.... "Girl in Brazil with a phone in her hand" ❤❤❤ Muito obrigado!

[@wendyerskine6951]

Hello that girl. I'm another girl from Scotland like Caroline. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@knlgwilliams]

I just want this woman to follow me around and give me slightly insulting but well intended advice! She seems good at it.

[@coach9410]

for real!

[@Azori10]

Like a bite of a snake, if poison in low dosage - won't kill you, even heal, because well intended.

[@HairGlitter]

🤣

[@lunasea4309]

hahahaha

[@MeditateTogether]

use an AI for that =) Alexa, tell me a story

[@jorgevega6143]

Oh, my mom gave practically that same advice, Go, no one will look at you... they are too much interested in themselves. This was excellent!

[@ginamccollum7237]

So true!

[@carolinenorman6141]

Lol too true 🌹

[@lindsaywait8763]

Yup, we had an assignment in psychology class in high school to dress in a completely different style for a day. I dressed as a punk and not a soul said a thing. That single day convinced me of this.

[@roshnik5137]

My mom destroyed the little self worth I have by calling me a useless person who shouldn't have been born.

[@laliboi4684]

@@roshnik5137 You are exceptional , I love you.❤❤❤

[@ruthohajunwa832]

Such a liberating way of thought. "Mine could never compare to her's and her's could never compare to mine". Someone else's greatness is not an absence of yours.

[@beatbisangwa5649]

Someone's greatness is not the absence of mine....hahahehe...wowowo!! 🤔

[@JazzyJ96771]

If only more women realised that, there'd be a lot less hate in the world. Men too.

[@elizabethchamberlin3475]

“Someone else is greatness is not an absence of yours“. That was perfect and I definitely needed to hear it!

[@joannedobkin3363]

I was born a naturally friendly child. My mother told me stories where I would talk to any person at the beach as a little girl. This part of me they tried to change to protect me from strangers. Only I still talk to anyone. I still have the gift of gab. That’s who I am. I’m a sociable soul and I attract others to me that enjoy my personality. I was born to communicate with others it’s my gift. I’m also a natural born singer. Singing gives me great joy but I hide that part of me because I want perfection. I was meant to be a singer I’ve always thought but maybe I was just supposed to be a communicator and sing for my own personal pleasure.

[@annepilgrim6865]

No dear, if singing is what makes your heart sing, sing out loud and clear so others can enjoy your authentic expression... that's what the whole talk was about. I hope you see this and go for the singing, no matter your age or circumstances. In love and light!❤

[@Woofsaidflaherty2]

Bob Dylan certainly isn't a perfect singer. Either was Shane McGowan. They were natural born singers though.

[@KaosuAiden]

"I'm not the center of attention... you're the center of mine" daymnnn... mindblown.

[@yunusk6217]

I don't get this.

[@lenap4956]

Smooth af

[@svinland3446]

@@yunusk6217 same

[@yunusk6217]

@@svinland3446 Now I get it, and it's so powerful. It's about getting over the worry that people are constantly watching and judging us. It's taking the attention from yourself and putting it on the things your seeing/observing instead.

[@svinland3446]

@@yunusk6217 I see :) Thank you.

[@aaaacarolina]

her voice and her accent are so soothing

[@ginakhairani13]

what does the mean shooting?

[@Leelz247]

I agree! She could say anything at all, I just want to hear her accent!

[@octane2344]

+gina khairani soothing, not shooting. soothing = calming and peaceful

[@adonisadmirer2752]

Scottish accent is totally my favourite accent.

[@NinjaStripes]

Carol Berardinelli I like it too. Then again, accents you're not exposed to everyday are always cool.

[@helens4037]

My favourite moment was when she told the story of when she refused to sing, because she’s feeling shy for everyone will be looking at her. Her mother said, “Don’t flatter yourself darling. You think everybody’s interested in you, they’re not. Your job is to make them happy.” And when she said, “Since that day I’ve never been in the center of attention. You’re the center of mine”.

[@Rama_Rama_Rama]

I don't get it. "You're the center of mine?"

[@zelsha]

@@Rama_Rama_Rama Centre of HER attention, in the sense that she is not focusing on herself, they are not focusing on herself, but she is focusing on them making them the centre of her attention. No more focus on herself and her own ego. Just making them feel happy/right. That fact changed her life.

[@Rama_Rama_Rama]

@@zelsha ok hmm

[@auroraseyets8516]

I love that part too. When I learned this lesson I stopped being nervous to perform for an audience because my focus was on bringing them joy or knowledge. Not thinking of yourself works wonders.

[@keesjefischer778]

@@auroraseyets8516 u

[@infiniterippleshypnosismed2817]

This talk hit so much harder when I realized she was speaking to a group of young girls under 12!!! It fills my heart to think of the impact this had on the girls in the room that day. 🥰 not to mention everyone else who has come across it since! Very powerful speech. 😊💖🙏🏼 Edit: it was pointed out that she wasn't actually speaking to a group of young girls after 12, and upon listening again it was clear that she wasn't. 😊 In the beginning of the speech I assumed it was a group of adults so her comments that made that clear didn't register deeply as they were expected. Then the way she worded that part near the end about them becoming 12 and 13 sounded like she was speaking to people who were not yet at that point. It seems she was talking about the past but the way it was worded was easy to misconstrue. Regardless, I'm sure some 12 year olds have watched this since then, and it would be a great talk to show to them! And whatever age, this is a very valuable perspective to listen to. 🥰

[@JimiBegbaaji]

Wow, that context makes me want to relisten. Best TEDx talk.

[@crazyprincess789]

She's pretty obviously talking to a group of older women lol

[@infiniterippleshypnosismed2817]

​​@apunkphilosophy interesting! Throughout the talk I assumed it was a group of adults so none of the talk being specifically addressed to adults stood out at all because it fit with what I thought. But at the very end she seemed to address the audience and say that you might at 12 end up to be this or at 13 be that or at 14 be this. It sounded as if she was addressing people who hadn't yet become 12 as it seemed to imply that what she was talking about was a possibility for them. On listening again yes a lot of the rest of the speech appears to be directed at adults. I was happy thinking it was girls under 12, but thank you for commenting! It gave me a reason to watch it again, and I really needed that today 😊

[@eliserolinson5108]

No 12 year old has a son of four or three years old, she asked this from the audience

[@infiniterippleshypnosismed2817]

@@eliserolinson5108 see my reply above 😊

[@Nadiahope7]

❤ when you're at a point you can genuinely celebrate others victories you know you're being authentically yourself. You dont get upset they're better than you, you know you have your strengths & allow others theirs.

[@CAI.DREAMS]

Nile and Moon way it louder for the people at the back

[@bellabukuru]

EXACTLY

[@harikrishnancp2662]

Exactly

[@lunasea4309]

yes.

[@user-tv1kw4wl7t]

Internal confidence.

[@pedrorivera5441]

lets pause the speech and just embrace her fuckin SWAGG!!!!

[@burpie3258]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@duncenews1542]

true

[@michaelkylow4411]

She is definitely the most authetinc woman ever!!!

[@giscell4853]

Pedro Rivera lol

[@rovaidkhan1500]

would love to own it... :)

[@tomato8401]

"We all have our own thing, that's the magic. That everybody comes with their own sense of strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers and hers could never compare to mine." I love this so much.

[@marielivesey3176]

H r

[@lanascottlighthouse4934]

Love JILL SCOTT LOVED HER IN TYLER PERRYS WHY DID I GET MARRIED???IM A 90 % ER

[@Leoneidas]

I am still looking for myself, even after 54 years. I unexpectedly cried a few times during this exceptional talk. I have finally found the way to find me. I am saving this forever and will watch it many times. I can now focus and begin to sort myself out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

[@courtneyhernandez7450]

Seek Jesus Christ I’m a Christian god bless

[@michflannery2887]

Oh wow how spookily similar to my response! Really hit a point hey

[@CarolineGlennon-bh5kh]

Same and will be 54 soon ,. I'm forever saying to my pal i dont know what my purpose is.

[@ashnabali5013]

She reminds me of “the ancient one” from Dr. Strange

[@CricketRodeo]

YES!!

[@Rainhwa]

same!

[@moonharp]

I think that's intentional.

[@slvpro]

Though BOUT THAT TOO AND NOT ONLY IN LOOKS BUT WISDOM AS WELL.

[@ChicoMuya]

I was looking for this comment 😂😂😂

[@Wot_is_dat]

" Humility is not to think less of yourself but to think of yourself less." So true. To be less self-conscious is to be more conscious of the self.

[@behindthen0thing]

Clau Nico just a play on words

[@crazymabel2723]

Don't think is just a "play on words". People tend to overlook the meaning of a word or a concept because of lack of abstraction in their perception. It's wonderful to redefine your vocabulary as you grow older, updating and learning new methods of communication :) I love this kind of twists, they are my little daily-epiphanies

[@osheadkkm]

@bianca. you are not alone.Clau Nico was 'liked'88' times. John Arnold - not so much.

[@itathe90sbaby38]

I feel so blessed and privilege to find the time to listen to this. Even as the whole world is going into shock about the CODIV-19. I struggle to find balance and stability personally. thank you so much Caroline McHugh.

[@allisonroehm4663]

I feel the same this was just what I needed during this pandemic going on right now. She really put things into perspective

[@anorahbeck7963]

@Allie 😂

[@annenoya8978]

SAME

[@sarahgrohmusic]

divarh xoxo Thank you and thanks to Caroline! As a professional singer - I need to answer this question. Covid week 4

[@terrisolaroli4077]

Ita Jesus beat to Gods drum! God made each of us unique from the other, with our unique talents and gifts.God does not make mistakes.

[@cjayjavier4544]

"you're job is to be as good at being YOU".... beautiful. inspiring. flourishing.

[@zackWilbert-wb1qm]

you have spoken well dear, how are you doing today ?

[@misslady3]

Almost started crying when she said that one of the times when you're most like yourself is when you were a kid. I was so lively and fearless when I was younger. I loved everyone and believed I could do anything. Fast-forward to age 26 and I've become fearful of taking chances, quiet, reserved, and slightly bitter towards the world. I've always longed to be the original me and I thought I could find it by just pressing forward. But maybe I just need to look back to the times when I was myself. What I found amazing is she follows up with saying that those original moments are when we're younger and when we're older, but never in the middle. I find this sad, since we have both some wisdom and some strength and energy in our mid-years. And yet we never utilize that time to be authentic. When we're children we're bound by rules, social systems, guardians, and other problems--but we have the ideas and energy to make things happen. When we're elderly we have the wisdom and knowledge to make those things happen but not the energy or health. It makes me realize that I need to utilize ALL parts of my life and live the life I was created to live.

[@MrGrace123]

As you pointed from her talk about being original when one is young and old, to further take from those two stages, a person needs to spend more time with kids and seniors. That way a person will constantly be reminded of being one's self. A added strength that kids have is braveness and old people have wisdom. So you can take from both sides of life.

[@coralday2009]

Dear, take it from me, you are fine.

[@sarajesshorton]

You sound like a lovely human.

[@dragonswordmountain2908]

+Miss Lady Whoa, you typed he same thing i would have typed...and i'm 26 as well, that is so cool.

[@happinesss2]

beautifully stated and I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU

[@TheCocopeko]

"I've never again been the centre of attention, you are the centre of mine, and that's a very different feeling" - wonderful, in a round about way a fantastic piece of advice.

[@diamondsinthedust7734]

Yes! Because when you put the focus of your attention on others, and drop your own ego, you're being of service: truly seeing, appreciating and accepting others is a radical act of love, in and of itself.

[@GmanVsGaming]

When she said about the definition of humility, not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. That's probably something that'll stick in my mind for a while. Thank you ;)

[@ryannlpeckron1178]

yeah, I believe it's something 90%of people really need to do and follow up with action, where as people like myself need to be more aware of self, not influenced self, but a healthy lifestyle, behavior, or thought process change,of putting others before myself/themselves @ a high cost to their well being and long term well being of others, thank you for time and effort it has provoked thoughts and feelings that I'm praying in my way!!, I'll follow up with actions, well thought out, for maximum results....😉

[@feromurin7576]

the quote is by C.S.Lewis, from "Mere Christianity" book

[@iltoro9400]

The quote is very good. Still psychology tells that rhymes and word puns are more effective. Loved the talk, nothing to argue, I just thought it could interest someone.

[@dare2dreamd2d23]

It's very Biblical it's not as original as it may sound.

[@mamarama5174]

Biblical? How? She didn't claim to be original. We need to be reminded often.

[@ЕкатеринаЧуракова-щ3ь]

"Since that day, I have never been the center of attention. You're the center of mine. And that a very different feeling." She dropped this 👑👑👑 I'm a teacher and in my teens I was the shyest person you could imagine and the very thought of speaking in public TERRIFIED me. Even speaking to people in general 🙂 Now I sometimes speak at international conferences, which is just mind-blowing to me. Because of my job, I had to make myself learn the "thinking of youself less" advice just so as not to freak out when I'm with different people lol This talk really resonated with me and the speaker is amazing ✨

[@affluentishmael1045]

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am ” ― Thomas Cooley

[@raceandcrime]

I am thinking of how i think i am in terms of how others think i am so i can tell people what i think i am to challenge what they are thinking i am

[@AIReStudios]

Very interesting perspective. Have you read the book Ishmael (Great Book!)

[@raceandcrime]

AIRe who r u talking to

[@wahid9901]

Just gave me an existential crisis Thanks

[@juneaddis4940]

I had to read it 3 times.😊 It is Amazingly true.

[@Emma-fq9pv]

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it’s best, day and night, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight ,and never stop fighting.” - E.E. Cummings

[@vinny5727]

This is on a car commercial now.

[@immaSHRIMP_]

e.e. cummings - thats how he wrote his name bcuz he liked his unique lowercase look

[@pressiyamu8976]

“I’m not the center of attention, you’re the center of mine”

[@AbbyNagel]

I find it very disappointing to see this statement got only 4 likes (mine included). Thank you, Press Iyamu, for making this comment.

[@aminamalin8915]

i didn't got what she meant with this statement , can you explain to me ?

[@pressiyamu8976]

amina Malin when she said this statement, it was a shift in perspective. It’s a realization that there are no gazes truly resting on you. But rather, your gaze is resting upon everyone. Causing you to think things that are majority of the time not true. Hence why her mother said don’t flatter yourself. Caroline’s statement brought me peace, I hope I was able to explain it in a way that generates the same self assuring effect.

[@yourjourneyisnow]

resonated with me as well

[@allsorts7049]

Press Iyamu like that

[@soinrimi2755]

i learnt soo much i swear here is the list: “Best way to keep being yourself is to proactively cut the world out and be self interested””interiority” “ Your only job is to be good at being you” “He that does not see the essence in my originality is not deserving of me” “You are already different your job is to figure out how and then be more of that” “Get your ego to work for you, not you working for” “We are all sleeping working and waiting for something to wake us up” for me my career “People are not interested in you they are interested in what you can give me” “ a wise word can become a burden to those who don’t fully understand it”- When things are important you only have one shot at it just like the movies with important mission. Your life is the same you have only one shot once you blow it it’s over there is no do over. Mission failed

[@kathyzimmermann8459]

Be

[@rubib7150]

Thanks for the summary

[@ZiggyLu-og3zp]

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Thought provoking. Thank you.

[@utkarshutk9504]

What does last line mean (the one related to one shot)

[@LoveHIMYM]

This video found me about a year ago and after watching it I made the active decision to care less about how others percieve me and to like myself more. I've been so much happier ever since

[@ktnworth]

That's so lovely

[@AbsurdBear]

You misspelled "perceive". But you don't care. And I'm OK with that.

[@danamaxine684]

@@AbsurdBear 😅

[@TenTenJ]

Oh my God, me too! It’s a huge load off my back. I feel so much more hope in my Life now.

[@spdrcrzx9r]

🙏🏼

[@talkingmonkey5587]

this talk resonated so deeply with me. i am 20 and have a slight social anxiety. i get worried about how others would view and see me and this confines me into a tight box. i overthink things and get anxious. however i am on a quest to overcome this demon and on the way i have come to learn that i am not the centre of the universe. i am not. thats just my ego at play saying i am the centre of things. i am not my ego, i am not my mind or my thinking. there's a true me below this ego which comes out when i am by myself and i want the world to see that true me. So to any brothers out there who suffers from this, just be yourself and don't worry about whether others will judge you. their judgement dosen't define you. don't seek validation from others but just yourself. and the most important thing, love yourself. let's not try to be perfect because our flaws are what makes us us. thats what makes us unique. guess went too deep. haha. well that's me. peace peeps.

[@SWDSCE]

Bro I just turned 21 and been dealing with pretty much everything you stated. But I’m going to change I’m going to keep pushing. Idk I just really resonated with this comment thanks.

[@CAI.DREAMS]

You’re amazing. This post is beautiful and is saving me rn

[@Karolina-qv8qm]

Well, I hope less anxious times are ahead of you though I am not a brother.

[@v.cloud9]

Great post. Just want to add that not compromising on the kind of people you want around you will help this growth. If we don’t know those types of people yet, alone time has a lot to teach us until then. Thank you for your comment

[@Oddy.S]

This is a beautiful post. I'm turning 23 & I'm barely learning how to navigate through these waters. Keep on keepin' On & always remember you are not alone & nonetheless, the smallest part of you could be the biggest inspiration to someone else.❣

[@sophiablow3422]

About 10 years ago l had a breakdown. A total ego collapse. I had built a persona to survive childhood violence, and fear, and the overwhelming knowledge that l was different. I created walls to protect and camouflage to blend. But pressure was applied and it all came tumbling down. l Sat in the ruins, unable to piece back my life. Best thing that ever happened to me. It took years, but l had a blank canvas, some shattered parts of my core self l errected; my values, my passions, the child of wonder and curiousity, seeker of beauty, solice in the awe of nature. Then l had a structure on which to invent myself. To display my qualities, and proudly glorify my difference. Then l loved myself. Not because l had created perfection, but because l understood my flaws, and loved them not as something apart from me, but as some of the best parts of me. When you love yourself absolutely, nothing can tear you down. You are self approving, self motivated, and beautiful.

[@marquischappell8166]

Sophia Blow This is truly powerful! Thanks for sharing!

[@bilbobaggins4403]

Addiction will do that too......

[@maryobenhaus4032]

What would you say is a flaw that you considered the best part? Sincere ?

[@jul2548]

I love this and a similar situation has happened to me :)

[@bargolyr8660]

thats fake … you will have to loose yourself again ...

[@sohalidina]

Her authenticity is out of this world. I am simply blown away by how in depth she knows her subject Absolutely phenomenal!

[@RamonOzuna-sb4du]

Ready when you are

[@RamonOzuna-sb4du]

Ready when you are

[@mariazogogianni2306]

"What people think of you. What you actually wanna be. What you think you are. What you are." Thank you

[@Abhi-mv3yh]

As I listened to her, I felt that she was mentioning most of the things we are taught in India and then she said that she spent a lot of her time in India! 😃. Love from India🇮🇳

[@vivthespiv1]

love to India - x -

[@janellestewart5286]

The West could learn a lot from the East.

[@TenTenJ]

Jesus went to India! The true India and her people are magic, there is the origin of every good culture and religion that we have now. 🙏

[@terrymiddleton6077]

A perfect example as to how traveling opens our eyes, warms hearts and frees minds. She is spectacular!

[@yes7855]

@@TenTenJ oh please do tell, about Jesus going to India? I’m curious! Very interested to read about it if you remember the source you learned of it! ~

This was absolutely gorgeous. From outfit to attitude, pace and wise choice of words. Loved it.

[@shelleyann4073]

Sí Sí

[@renztaylor5904]

My Mother has always told me just be yourself. I know realize how important it is, how precious she is. Thank you Mom.

[@zackWilbert-wb1qm]

that true my dear, how are you doing today?

[@renztaylor5904]

I’m hanging in there

[@Whatchasayin]

The supreme one giving ted talks while guarding the universe

[@mistyhess3546]

Yes 💛

[@gav25x]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Mr1982bigman]

😂😂

[@stun09]

This lady will be the end of Thanos

[@laurawenninger5344]

I felt lonely. After watching this video I'm at peace. There's silence in me and it feels amazing. Thank you so much. I also want to spread messages like you some day

[@lesliesimmons7183]

Laura Wenninger you are not alone! You just spread the message to me to write this reply and to connect. Thank you!

[@Zitagirl76]

Moojii talks about being nothing as well....we r not what we think we are....

[@warriorsrule9350]

Smarter individuals tend to stay alone either by choice as they can't find other smart people to be with or because less smart people avoid them. It's backed by research.

[@mfbs8706]

Bless You! ❤️❤️

[@1DaTJo]

Warriors Rule that’s very interesting information. Thank you 🙏 I’m on my own alot too. Loneliness comes and goes, as does peace.

[@carbine7457]

"We come complete with one true note we were destined to sing." That is profoundly beautiful.

[@joshuathompson9917]

Yet disturbingly vague

[@yolkycheeks]

This is one of the Ted Talks that I rewatch over and over again. What an inspiring woman she is.

[@risankati]

I liked the speech. But why do we always have to strive to be something out of the ordinary and be the youngest person who did *this* or the first person or the whatever-st person... The goal should be to be happy, to be comfortable with yourself, to be confident, even if you never do anything out of the ordinary.

[@arbenkqiku8880]

+risankati I completely agree with you. Actually I believe that happiness is much more enviable that success.

[@manictiger]

+risankati I don't think happiness can actually be achieved. It's temporary like other emotions. I think that contentedness is what most people want. The ability to say, "if I died right now, I still accomplished what really mattered to me".

[@curtisnowitzky3344]

+risankati I liked the speech too. I also think you make a very good and important point about 'ordinary'. Thanks for your comments.

[@risankati]

+manictiger I agree, being happy all the time is unrealistic. What I meant was happiness in the more general sense and I guess it comes close to what you said - being content

[@BYIHSOrg]

+risankati actually, if you can distinguish being happy from having everything go well, not experiencing challenge etc. you can be happy through adversity, even as you may also feel stress, anxiety disquiet, happiness can live even with pain and fear. The fallacy that happiness means you have no challenges and that everything is going your way makes it impossible to always be happy. Change the frame and happiness is right there and ever available to you.

[@benschebella673]

"we all come complete" broke me. cheers

[@-shaharmalkavocal]

" You already different. Your job is to figure out how, and then to be more of that." It came to me as if on cue.

[@jeaninelanza981]

This is so true. BE HAPPY BEING YOURSELF.

[@RasMajnouni]

Maybe you need to be more like Shachar and less like Malca? Joke .Chasidim say "We KNOW what we need, but do we know what we are needed FOR"? ואהבת לרעך כמוך.Emphasis ON and mainly the other.

[@HayabusaOrlando]

So many good quotes here.

[@OhHapppyDaay]

Me, too! Wow!

[@deewekoms]

that's what Ariel Sharon said to the Gaza lot before bombing them

[@cfnation8254]

I love her sense of humor. Seems like the crowd is asleep or too damn serious about this.

[@neiudesu2382]

I just read a comment somewhere here that she's talking to girls that are under 12 years of age💕

[@wasder-xm5so]

That’s true that sometimes, when a joke goes “unnoticed” or it’s not laughed at, it can look and feel a little uncomfortable. But people have different senses of humor, so how I try to see it is a public speaker setting a more lighthearted, familiar tone with her audience. Sometimes speakers are more looking to teach, their jokes don’t have to be perfect for everyone but should at least try to include all into the same atmosphere, right? :)

[@jeanettesdaughter]

They’re children! Young girls listening, rapt. Dig deeper.

[@ThirtySomethingDiaries]

Her presentation, language, and mannerism do not at all agree with that statement. ​Kids? Nah. @neiudesu2382

[@treeoftears]

To be yourself, See yourself. To see yourself, Free yourself. To free yourself, Simply be.

[@markrowland1366]

A timely TED. After 63 years feeling I am insignificant, 29 chronic potassium deficiency, and suppression by narcissists, I was ready for this. Thankyou. Mak

[@TrippedTheFuckOut]

Mark Rowland well i have narcissists in my life too love you bro, it always gets better

[@GeorginaKreutzer]

You are not insignificant. Glad you found this video a year ago, and hope you are still holding your head high. 🙏

[@debbiehughes48]

narcissists are running rampant in this world sadly. The bullies, the spoiled, the entitled that prey on the giving, the loving the empathic to which we fall prey. If you look in the top comments they always seemed to appear, they attack anything they can't understand or possess. The only pain they can feel is their own. These types murder souls. If they can't possess it they try to destroy it. Its so sad, and what's really sad is there is no help for these, due to the fact they have no idea anything is wrong with them, they are incapable to look inward!! Keep on keeping on Mark. I wish their would of been this knowledge of NPD in our generation!! I was born in the earley 60's this type of psychology just wasn't available

[@MsLoila]

much love to you.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

Yes. Forgive people they know not. Adopt bravery, self-love, peacefulness and love. Yes. You are great.

[@saracuervo7973]

"you can't be your emotions because otherwise, who is the you that feels them?"

[@tasleemlaila1478]

What an amazing speaker you are! Authentic, charismatic, inspiring and so eloquent. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and words with us.

[@moonbeanification]

" be yourself.... everyone else is already taken " - Oscar Wilde

[@kunalpatel3074]

true

[@mundoinvisivelxd1936]

+Just Jeanne humm

[@jakem5039]

Oscar Wilde...

[@moonbeanification]

Okay, in your case we'll make an exception ;)

[@Dines27120]

+Just Jeanne lol

[@maryobenhaus4032]

This makes me want to take up space. It reaffirms that I am a child of the universe, I have a right to be here just like the trees and the stars...

[@AzraelisHorny]

fynes leigh what a mong

[@maryobenhaus4032]

fynes leigh this one I lifted from Desiderata. and a b-boy, who said the whole point or something the other of dancing was to take up space on the dance floor.

[@immaSHRIMP_]

yeah a lot more people need to realize that about themselves. in the end nothing really matters, so live as you dream whenever you can.

[@1grumppa]

Shine you beautiful spark

[@emanmughrabi]

Desiderata

[@funemployment8919]

The art of being yourself is a really unique skill. This woman puts it in such an eloquent way. Hats off.

[@jackladd4332]

After reading maybe 20 comments i've realised you're all candidates for therapy. Now i understand.

[@shamfagrey]

precisely.😏

[@shofiaturahmahsugis2346]

Thank you for making this speech. It reminds me of my younger age when I dared to dream to be anything. When I was confident enough to raise my hand every time the teacher asked a question or gave us a chance to ask. It's different now. I am shy, I am afraid, and sometimes I feel that my question is so so and no need to be asked. So I will try to remember my childhood experience, I will take the spirit from it, and make it my power to face the world. Thankyou.

[@eddygan325]

You can do it !

[@ErnestoReyes]

She looks like a time traveler that's been on a few tours and has seen things.

[@MlleCarocks]

She definitely is from Galiffrey

[@sandyprimus9831]

she came through the Star Gate to speak to earthlings how to cope with our situations .

[@thetruthk5138]

@@sandyprimus9831 Well at least she wasn't trying to sell fashion it's not a good look perhaps she just nipped out from her funeral parlor job

[@M.Đ-z4u]

@@thetruthk5138 lol

[@ivysabregz1518]

She's like the master in Dr. Strange

[@chiekeziakagha6242]

I love when she's talking about the true mirror and how when you try to fix your head tilt, you go the wrong way. It's as if its a learning experience in the moment. You're trying to fix something the way you're accustomed to fixing, but the only way to truly fix it is by making an attempt to see things in a way that you never have - through someone else's eyes. Incredible.

[@Dimasstywan]

her voice is so soothing omg

[@Ricardo-fv2qi]

Yeah, there's some serious ASMR going on here.

[@a.okoronkwo311]

Luck of the Irish

[@a.okoronkwo311]

@spiderplant sweet

[@stephen6187]

I keep coming back to watch this video in different phases of my life. And I learn something new each time. So much wisdom packed into one video.

[@user-vi1dl3xg4g]

Yes, I come back these years too❤

[@DrUnatiDrMHealthCorner]

I taught myself early in my teen years that my life was solely dependent on how I wanted it to be. Didn't really care much what people thought of me, as long as I knew I wasn't hurting anyone and I respected people.

[@sauliha3132]

What about parents ?

[@ToniToni-sk6xz]

That's a true gift.

[@Cryogenius333]

"I don't want te sing" "Whai do yeh no wanna sing??" "I'm shy." "Wot ye shai fer??" "Cus everyboody is gonna be lookin at me" "Caroline...Dont flatter yeself darling. Yeh think anbody down th' stairs is interested in you, th' noot. Yer jobs to go down there n make'n happy so go'in sing." Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Scotland.

[@heizie88]

Want you to know I laughed really hard at this.

[@ellyw7201]

Thank you for writing out this little conversation! I have a slight hearing problem and couldn't make out the mother's last sentence...Thank you for enabling me to "hear" it!

[@patcasey1]

@@ellyw7201 I had to use the close caption option... it's at the bottom.. otherwise... I wouldn't have gotten the message very well

[@sarahfloyd7948]

Haha ... that is so on point!

[@yerinpark2950]

i absolutely love this

[@ToaLegend]

I felt like I was just lectured by a Jedi master. That was awesome.

[@ZsuzsaFarkas87]

ToaLegend :D :D :D lol

[@dragonswordmountain2908]

+ToaLegend She is Asajj Ventress turned Jedi hahaha.

[@aliciaanthony3067]

Kl

[@kellyberry4173]

Do. Or do not. There is no try. YODA

[@johnayala2540]

My mom would always say whenever I was grouchy & moody growing up..."you are only as big as things that bother you". I have never forgotten that wisdom and since then, I was not bothered by insignificant stuff like gossips, fake news or drama. People can never tell if my heart was braking in pain or filled with love and peace. Nobody is privilege to see me cry. Not when I buried my parents. I loved my mother very, very much. She had 11 children, every night she helped us with our homeworks when I was in school. She graduated in music major in piano but the was an excellent mathematician, and fluent in English, Spanish, Ilonggo, Aklanon and Tagalog. Her IQ was 142 and she was considered genius. She knew a lot because she read most of her waking hour and she has a photographic memory. Everyone in our hometown people loved my mother. She was well known in our hometown as an intellectual individual that made a wrong choice. Wrong choice because she married my father who was totally worthless, God forgive me. I'm just saying the truth. May he rest in peace but that doesn't change the fact that he was totally worthless, but okay, R.I.P. but my mother was a saint, sacrificed, suffered from my cruel father and other siblings that were drunkards. I remember seeing my mother on her knees praying almost everynight for the safety of my siblings who were always out and drunk. When I saw the pain caused by alcohol & drugs, it had a strong impact on me. That's why I never smoke, drink or do drugs. Because I witnessed what it did to my mother that never smoke, drink alcohol or drugs .. but what alcohol did to her 6 children who are alcoholics was ruined and this broke my mother's heart. It pained to see her children and grandchildren having severe difficulty in life even basic needs like food & shelter. of my mom

[@ramyhuber8392]

Thank you for this statement. I am glad you've been able to stay away from alcohol and drugs.

[@henryomorodion]

l love what your mun said. thanks for sharing. may her soul rest in peace.

[@bodhitsal7638]

How are you? I wish I could connect to you @john

[@kitano0]

"Find out who you are and then do it on purpose" D. Parton

[@reggiestreet8662]

The whole Tedtalk summed up in one sentence. But still a great video.

[@faiza7533]

This has to be the one of the best Ted talks I've ever watched.

[@raceandcrime]

if u r a needy emotionally confused woman that thinks she needs to think beyond what should be natural and a taoist flow... dysfunction requires this kind of attention/thinking... sad

[@LolaTurlututu]

+raceandcrime wtf ?

[@raceandcrime]

+julianne another way of saying it is if u r happy or feeling normal enough why all this focus? all this self absorbed AM I OK anxiety? i mean sure, i can fall for a BUDDHIST PROVERB like the next guy: “You may search the universe for someone more worthy of your love and affection than you are yourself, but such a person does not exist.” Buddhist Proverb, but can this lead to this?: “To love at all is to become vulner­able. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves - so i would also say that there are brain problems with women that men don't have nearly as much of, this talk reflects that, if only to see which gender needs this kind of pep talk/wisdom... who knows what the balance is SUPPOSED to be for ANY of us... some people are simply better off insane, crazy, driven, down, up, whatever... no cookie cutter humanity for me, and u? whats your WTF all about? got a beef? WTF is your biggest WTF in life? torture, disease, guns, abortion... whatdayagot? and as to any "ART" of being yourself, two book plugs: ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM by Erich Fromm and THE LUCIFER PRINCIPLE: A SCIENTIFIC EXPEDITION INTO THE FORCES OF HISTORY by Howard Bloom... both deal with the contrasts of the individual over/under the collective...

[@rebecccak3424]

someone's on a drunken tirade.

[@raceandcrime]

+trance, i don't drink, never have and u?

[@gizempolat4651]

This was one of the best speeches, with a great balance of wisdom, poetic expression and humor, I have ever listened.

[@LindaRicaLIVE]

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” ― CS Lewis

[@zackWilbert-wb1qm]

Hello dear , how are you doing today ?

[@tink040370]

This woman has an absolutely extraordinary message.

[@davidfox5942]

Can you tell me the message,please( but with simply words,cause i dont know enlish so good, PLEASE)

[@mackieincsouthsea]

@@davidfox5942 it's really about being unapologetically you and what that can do for your life and how most of us are creating a persona solely to be in service of others and their perceptions, but not in a beneficial way. It's about finding authenticity and not just being lead by what you assume other people predict of you or judge you to be. It touches on how losing the value of uniquity or individuality through the middle of your life is damaging and self defeating.

[@sheebakitty378]

Seriously? I find it empty and meaningless.lacking true substance. Fairytale ish and silly. What's so extra ordinary about it?

[@seheabol]

That accent and hair cut are killing me dead. She’s on 🔥

[@sohamyogaindia6275]

And her outfit. Omg

[@freeyourmind4349]

Sinade oconnor

[@Oshaoxin]

She does look flammable in that curtain

[@sammohd938]

she's the best in the worrold :-D

[@debdeb6750]

7:29 "not what your life expectancy is, but what you expect from life & what does life expect from you?" outstanding talk.

[@jamesdecannon7509]

I discovered this gem a couple years ago and have been listening to it on and off since. Each time feels like a therapy session and a motivational speech and it gives me the strength to keep pushing on. Much love to the speaker for giving us this gift of a talk.

[@Pinkrevenge101]

This reminds of what I learned in my sociology class, the self concept. We learn about ourselves by what we think how others might see us. Then we apply those thoughts to ourselves even though they might not be true. We create a self image.

[@PassportGods]

Is there a name for this theory/ concept that you remember!

[@nevershoutnever511]

+Shlomo Great it's called the looking glass self, a term coined by Charles Horton Cooley :-)

[@ndapewa3245]

This is deep

[@Edw1nSayz]

It's called Ego

[@AnimalTime659]

I think it's called the "Looking Glass Self". It's a really interesting theory.

[@arrow1042]

"When you look in a true mirror, you look for revelation and not for reassurance."

[@sketchingstudio5552]

One line stuck out to me: "the people who are afraid to be themselves end up working for those who aren't." It's true, even out of the context of work. I'm only fifteen, so I have a long way to go, but at this point in my life I've been afraid to be myself for literally as long as I can remember. I was afraid to be myself, and so subconsciously I followed the people who weren't. And guess what? By the end of primary school I had a grand total of zero friends whom I could actually be myself around. I began primary school the same way I finished it: lonely. I had always dreamed of some distant day as a teenager when I could finally have friends and be myself and do what I wanted... but now I'm fifteen and I've barely improved. Anyway, blah blah blah Imm changing for the better goodbye

[@samanthabee07]

I pray that you have gained from this talk the courage to be yourself. You've learnt a valuable lesson and you really do hold in your hands the power to change your destiny (in this regard). 15 is NOT too late to be learning this. Many adults still haven't figured out what you have discovered. Don't beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes and keep on growing. It sounds as though the real you is a thoughtful, intelligent person. I'm sure you'll be able to find those genuine friends once you give yourself permission to be the genuine you. Sending love and blessings to you.

[@janetburbidge5332]

Sketching Studio I

[@bluetube8824]

The tricky bit is that you find those friends by being yourself first, and waiting for the people to find you. If you are authentically you, then the only people who will be your friends are people who can accept you as you are.

[@jardemooreb4100]

@@bluetube8824 👏👏👏👏

[@chickenbroth5]

Who are you now ?

[@MythicGirl2210]

I love her. the way she talks, what she's saying, the way she holds herself... Magnificent.

[@honorsmeme]

I’m glad she used Jill Scott as an example of interiority. When I watched the clip I was like that’s what I’m talking about then I thought about myself as a singer and realized that I compare myself too instead of realizing the beauty and technique in my own voice. Great talk

[@michouvansluis4539]

It's only the fifth time I am watching this and it just never stops being amazing.

[@Youbarkimeow]

Ditto I come back to this video to remind myself it's okay being myself 🙂

[@jfish032]

I listen to this talk once every few months. I don't imagine it will ever get old. Ever.

[@oliverbeck6839]

that's a sign that your not being yourself and your not improving, make a change stop listening every few months that means you haven't changed at all, no offense take this as motivation :D

[@sa-iw4dr]

@@oliverbeck6839 Oliver, shut up, how do you know that person just likes the story and it's encouragement to listen again. Let Jordan be himself, and bugar off, go be yourself. You are why to judgemental and assuming!

[@laurissima5]

"Humility is not thinking less about yourself, humility is thinking about yourself less" - such a precious insight among so many precious others. So grateful that her message got to me even in a time capsule 11 years later.